Can You Bring Other People Along on Your Life Path?
Yes – but no. Traveling companions on your life path are also on their own path.
I’ve been married since May 2015. My wife and I have been together since the spring of 2011. I can’t imagine my life without her as a part of it.
While in many ways we’re traveling along the same path – we’re not. Yes, we live together, do lots of different activities together, and are a partnership in this life. Yet still, our paths are not the same.
How in the hell does that work?
The reality is much simpler than many people credit it with being. For starters – we might be a couple, yet we’re utterly individuals first and foremost. For all that we share, we’re also considerably different. She’s an extreme introvert with introverted preferences and tendencies. I’m an ambivert, an introvert with extroverted tendencies. I love summer and the warmth of the sun; she loves winter and the cold.
Still, we walk this life together, despite – and to some degree because of – our differences. Yet we still are on different life paths.
The truth is – so’s everyone. No two people are ever on the same life path. Similar? Absolutely. The same? No.
Recognizing and accepting this truth goes a long way toward stronger, better relationships of every kind. It also can help lessen disagreements and take the sting out of perfectly natural differences.
Let’s start by delving more into shared individuality.
We’re all individuals
One of the biggest mistakes I think some romantic partners make – as well as close friends and codependent families – is neglecting their individuality.
No matter how much we desire and act to connect to and with others – we’re individuals. That’s because you alone are in your head, heart, and soul. Nobody else can think, feel, intend, or act for you or even through you. You’re it.
To some, that’s deeply distressing and the cause of anxiety and loneliness. But it doesn’t need to be. You can make peace with it. When you don’t, you will live your life always wanting.
I know. I’ve been there. The longing for connection – and the right connection – was so deep, even when I had a partner I still sought more.
Somewhere along the way – before I could quantify Pathwalking as a philosophy – I realized I wasn’t bad company for myself. I could be comfortable in my own skin.
When I began to practice that more, I found a partner also comfortable in her own skin.
When we got together, we discovered we were an amazing partnership.
But we both recognize and respect one another’s individual being. I don’t try to change her, she doesn’t try to change me.
Everyone is in the same situation. No matter what type of partnership you form with others – you’re still an individual when all’s said and done.
You cannot traverse the same paths because you’re not the same people. But you can take complementary paths.
Together on complementary paths
My wife is an accomplished, brilliant, and respected project manager. She has 2 decades of experience, and majorly kicks ass at what she does. Additionally, give her yarn and she will crochet or knit something beautiful and amazing.
I’ve held many different jobs in multiple fields, am a published author seeking broader exposure, and am a storyteller still largely unknown to the world at large.
As you can read above, we’re not on the same life paths. I seek to be a speaker, subject matter expert, and best-selling author. She seeks to be excellent at what she does while saving for retirement and doing well without showing off.
We’re a married couple and a partnership as such. Clearly, we’re on different life paths. How can we travel together?
Our paths are complementary.
What’s that mean? It means they intertwine, wrap around run another, and often run perfectly parallel to the point of appearing to be one. But they remain separate and equal to each of us and our desired lives.
I support her and her path – and vice versa. Though sometimes we don’t get one another’s perspectives – we still respect them.
That’s what complementary paths are. They might vary to a greater or lesser degree – but they still complement one another.
Any path can be complementary to any other
No matter how different our paths in life might be – they can still be totally complementary.
How does that work? By being mindful of ourselves, and then expanding that out to the world outside of ourselves. Additionally, by offering all the kindness, compassion, and empathy we desire to receive.
Recognizing and accepting that all of us are individuals – we can work together to build together. Our paths, though different, can be complementary to one another.
Like two caravans crossing a dessert and meeting in the middle – one will have what the other needs and probably vice-versa. This is true of every single human being on this planet.
Unfortunately, we’re frequently bombarded by messages of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency that get attached to “others.” “They” will take what’s yours, are going to hurt you, and there isn’t enough – so grab it before they do and/or protect what you already have.
Look familiar? That’s the message of nearly every politician. And it’s not at all true. But empowered people don’t need leaders in the same way the disempowered do – so too many leaders weaponize our fears against us.
The reality is that any two paths can be complementary. But to make that so, we need to let go of competition, fear of the “other”, and beliefs in perfect pairings.
We can walk similar, complementary, and/or parallel paths together – but we must accept that they are still as different and individual as we are.
A similar path – but not the same – is good
You can travel together on parallel paths with others – but you can’t bring them on your path with you.
When more people recognize and acknowledge this, they’re better equipped to handle how we differ. They’re also better able to work with differences.
One of the biggest mistakes our culture makes today is trying to shoehorn us into a one-size-fits-all format. This notion creates unnecessary conflict – and that’s probably its intent since it’s aimed to disempower to keep people in the same line.
But that’s not real. That’s not how we work. We’re each individuals – and have our own life paths. But they are not in competition with one another.
In truth, when all is said and done, all life paths are complementary. But recognizing and working with that requires mutual respect, kindness, compassion, and empathy.
It’s also imperative that you never try to force anyone to your path. Given that you likely dislike it if someone were to do that to you – don’t do it to others.
Complementary paths can be vastly different. But then, so are you, me, him, her, them, and all the nearly 8 billion of us worldwide. Individuality empowers us because we are incredible conscious reality creators far different from the other animals of this world.
We can’t be on the same path – but recognizing and sharing complementary paths is even better. That takes nothing away – it just builds something greater. Also – you can share complementary paths with multiple people.
And we are all worthy and deserving of the life paths of our choosing.
Are you on a complementary path with other people in your life?
This is the five-hundred and sixty-eighth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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