Why Should You Give Yourself Grace?
Because you’re only human.
I have just returned from a 10-day vacation. While it was something of a working vacation, it was a total break from my usual routine. I was living my best medieval life among some of my favorite people, away from my regimen in every way.
Thus, I was barely online, had no computer, and was utterly removed from my normal work. I love this adventure every year and always enjoy the time with my friends.
I got home, and of course there are things to be done. This event generates a LOT of laundry. My car was loaded so full, I could hardly see out the back. My cats demanded love (even though my wife had been home with them the whole time). I got back with a day and change to reacclimate to my normal life experiences.
So, here I am, late getting my usual essay posted. That’s because I chose to go over 10 days of accumulated emails when I got started today. And I had an appointment to get routine bloodwork done. Ergo, I have not, in fact, returned to my usual routine in any way.
This can be frustrating if I let it. I have a book to finish writing, another to go over the edits sent by my editor, AND I need to begin to record the audiobook. I haven’t even glanced at what my part-time gig will require.
This is, of course, a lesson. A lesson in giving myself grace.
What does it mean to give yourself grace?
There are frequent, constant demands on everyone. You have work to do, responsibilities to attend to, performance expectations, and more. Some are professional, some personal, some more societal. Meeting these is often deemed not quite enough, so you strive to exceed them.
When you’re not even meeting, let alone exceeding them, a downward spiral might begin. You might begin being judgmental of your work ethic, your time management, and what you perceive you are not doing sufficiently.
From there, you start questioning all kinds of things. Are you good enough, smart enough, strong enough, enough-enough? Allowing this to build might lead to depression, low self-esteem, frustration, and even physical illness.
Giving yourself grace is allowing yourself to just be. Accept your imperfections, flaws, and other inefficiencies. Allow yourself to take it slow, get it wrong, and need extra time. Release the stress, focus on the present rather than all the ways you’ve screwed up in the past and might somehow be fucking up the future.
Give yourself grace to be imperfect, unprepared, in need of more time and energy, and all other ways you’re only human.
What if they get upset?
First, let’s address a very important question. Who the hell are they? Yes, they might be loved ones, coworkers, friends, or strangers you need to share the highway with. But for the most part, the reality is that they do not care about you.
No, I’m not saying loved ones don’t love you. What I’m saying is that unless you’re standing there, right in front of them, addressing them or otherwise interacting with them, they don’t care about you. Why? Because out of sight, out of mind.
Even if you are impacting them because you’re unprepared, not quite on-task, or whatever, communication can and will help keep everyone on the same page. Let them know that you’re getting back on track, still getting back on course, or otherwise need extra time/energy/care to restart your routine.
Nobody is perfect. I’ve got a lot of laundry done but still need to put it away. Things are out of the car but not placed where they belong. I decided to take care of some other things and delayed writing and sharing this essay.
When you give yourself grace, you allow yourself to be imperfect. Not on top of everything. This is a matter of kindness, compassion, and empathy for and toward yourself. Then, when you give yourself grace, it’s easier to give grace to others. Giving grace is part of active kindness, compassion, empathy, and caring, all of which are good for everyone, everywhere.
Why should you give yourself grace? Because you deserve not to be judged by yourself for your flaws. You’re worthy and deserving of being not-quite-right, not on the ball, moving slow, and so on, because, like everyone else, you’re only human.
Giving yourself grace isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing active conscious awareness (mindfulness) of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and the positivity or negativity of your approach to direct your actions.
Recognizing and acknowledging that you’re only human and perfectly imperfect like everyone else, giving yourself grace is an act of kindness, compassion, and empathy that can keep you better balanced in the face of being off from any normal or regular stuff. Knowing this is true for everyone everywhere, you can see that giving yourself grace is an act of kindness, compassion, empathy, and caring that you can expand from yourself to others around you, finding and/or creating better balance and good in the world.
This empowers you. When you’re empowered, that can, in turn, empower others around you. That’s why I share these weekly posts with you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity — from the vast cylinder that exists between them — shifts life in ways that open you to more potential, possibility, and the like. From there, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you in the here and now.
The more aware you are of yourself in the present, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, it can spread to those around you and empower them, too. That is an amazing conduit to help reason overcome fear in the collective consciousness.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the six-hundred-fifty-first (651) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energy for everyone. Feel free to share, reblog, and spread the positivity.
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