It’s Okay To Feel Scared
But it’s not okay to let fear overwhelm your life.
There’s no denying we live in wild, crazy times right now. Spend any time on social media, reading or watching any news media, and you can’t help but feel uncertain, and maybe even scared.
How did it all come to this? When did people allow so many madmen to take control? Why won’t the people who can fix this do something? Has selfishness and thirst for power really overwhelmed any and all sensibility?
I’m scared. There are some really surreal things going on out there. Worst of all? There’s nothing I can do. I voted, I’ve protested, and I boycott certain entities. Going forward, I’ll keep doing that.
Despite a narrative often saying otherwise, it’s okay to feel scared. This is a natural reaction when things you cannot control appear to be spinning further out of control. Being scared is part of the human condition and often serves to help you choose action.
That, however, is the challenge. It’s okay to feel scared. It’s not okay to let fear overwhelm your life.
The reality of the world
Do you know the real reason why it all looks so insanely, overwhelmingly terrible right now? Would you believe that it’s not because the world is more dangerous and doom is closing in on us? Well, it’s not. The reality is that, overall, the world is a better, safer place than it has been in decades.
The real reason it all looks so insane is the combination of instant connectivity around the globe, 24/7, combined with runaway capitalism and greedy corporate interests. Fear sells. So large swaths of the media use the tools meant to bring us together to overblow every single scary event in whatever way it will get more eyes on it and make them more money.
Yes, shit is going down. Much of it is indeed obscene, senseless, cruel, and scary. But when all you can see is the big, terrible, awful things happening, you will believe that it’s all going to hell and we’re all utterly screwed.
Fear is weaponized. Sometimes that’s semi-benign, such as most advertising. Other times, it’s horrifically malignant, such as false narratives, blame, and lies that do intentional harm. All of it, however, paints a picture of insecurity, concern, and negativity. Fear is then used to disempower you and me.
When you’re scared, it’s easy to become irrational. Irrationality causes many people to look for solutions, largely outside of themselves. That’s where they get taken advantage of, and before they know it, they go from being scared to permitting fear to dominate everything they do.
Unchecked, weaponized fear leads people to do things against their own best interests because they believe ceding their power will help them. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
This comes down to, of course, a choice.
Feeling scared vs being overwhelmed by fear
Fear is a natural part of being human. Once upon a time, fear of tangible things – such as predators, fast currents, and precipices – kept us alive in the face of danger and scary things that might kill us.
Nowadays, most of our fear is about intangibles. Fear of missing out, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of looking stupid, and so on. These might all suck, but none of them will kill us.
So here’s the big, unfortunately, unavoidable truth: most of what I’m scared of I can’t do jack shit about. The congress members allowing an out-of-control President to wage war, corrupt world leaders doing despicable things, and billionaires paying next to no taxes? I can’t do anything about this. Yeah, I’m scared about how this will impact my life in whatever ways it might. But there’s nothing I can do.
Because there’s nothing I can do, I have a choice. It’s okay to feel scared, because that’s a natural, human response. Being overwhelmed by fear? That’s a choice.
When fear is tangible, and you’re facing the gaping maw of a ravenous predator, being overwhelmed by fear is possible. Instinctually, you’ll fight, flee, or freeze. When fear is intangible, becoming overwhelmed by fear is much more of a choice. Why? Death isn’t on the line.
Plain and simple, intangible fears tend to be about suffering and how much you might endure if what you’re afraid of comes to pass. Death is very seldom the result of intangible fears. Also, when you first feel an intangible fear, since your life isn’t likely on the line, you can do more than fight, flee, or freeze.
How do you address fear?
Natural fear of tangible danger to life and limb leads to instinctual responses. Fight, flee, or freeze. Intangible fear, often tied not to potential death but to less fatal things – like a greater or lesser degree of suffering – requires a more mindful approach.
You have the power to not just recognize what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, the positivity or negativity of your approach, and your actions, but also to change them. You’re empowered to change how you think, feel, intend, approach, and act on everything.
Sure, sometimes the choices are between bad and worse. Yet when you have a choice, making it is like flexing any muscle. The more you choose, the stronger your choice muscles get.
When you’re scared, that’s natural. What’s more, what scares you is something you can address. From there, you can choose if the fear associated with being scared is something you will allow to take root or not.
You can look at fear and take a stand, not allowing it to get hold of you. Or, you can look at fear and flee. You can always freeze and let it envelop you, but that makes it especially hard to get free of it.
How you address fear, especially intangible fear, is a choice you get to make. Making choices empowers you.
Being scared can empower you
I made the mistake of doomscrolling Facebook. My mind wandered, I got distracted, and before long, I started reading about things going on in too much detail, and I got scared.
Now I had a choice. Allow being scared to turn to fear, then let that fear overwhelm me? Or address it?
Most of what scares me currently is utterly, completely, and totally outside of my control. On the one hand, acknowledging this is infuriating. But, on the other hand, it’s incredibly freeing – if, and this is important, I recognize it, acknowledge it, then leave it where I found it.
Choosing to walk away, I decided to take it a step further. I chose to write this to let you know that it’s okay to be scared, and if you are, you’re so, so not alone. But more than that, sharing this helps me do something to punch fear in the face.
I’m living my life and doing what I can to help others not to feel overwhelmed and afraid with all that’s going on out there. Since we can’t ignore it, pretend it’s not there, and can’t just disregard it, we can instead empower ourselves and shove fear away.
It’s okay to feel scared, because that’s natural. It’s not okay to let fear overwhelm your life, because that disempowers you. What that means is, if you allow yourself to be disempowered, you open yourself to suffering. Needless suffering, no less. And believe me when I tell you, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO SUFFER.
When you’re afraid, you can use that to energize action to fight fear, learn new things, get stronger, and take the wheel and drive your life for yourself. This empowers you. When empowered, you can do almost anything, including punch fear in the face.
See why it’s okay to be scared, but you don’t need to let fear overwhelm you?
This is the seventh-hundred-forty-sixth (746) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this philosophy because I desire to make a difference in the world and help as many people as I can to find their empowerment with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
Also, please check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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