Hold Yourself Accountable First
This is about being responsible, not taking blame.
I strive to maintain optimism. Not blind, all-is-well-that-shit-is-not-happening optimism, but a sense that the scales will rebalance, the pendulum can be swung the other way, and we can do little things to impact the big picture.
The problem is, most of those little things are for you, and only you. No matter what you do for anyone else, you can’t alter, control, or change them. You can influence, guide, suggest, and show things to them. But they alone can make all choices and decisions for who, what, where, how, and why they are. Guess what? Only you ultimately choose who, what, where, how, and why YOU are.
That, however, doesn’t make me feel better about this truth. When I read about the awfulness in the world and realize I can’t do a damned thing about it, I feel bad. But more than that, I feel helpless. Does anyone like feeling helpless when they can’t see a way to help others? My guess is no.
The trouble is, what you and I can do for anyone other than ourselves is incredibly, massively limited. We can vote, attend protests, boycott terrible companies, donate money to worthy causes, write and call our representatives, and/or run for office ourselves. That’s about it for what we can do for holding anyone else accountable.
Hence, the best thing you can do is to hold yourself accountable. This isn’t taking blame, this is being realistic about what you can and do control and impact.
How did it get so crazy out there?
Fear. Fear has been weaponized to throw blame around and deny all accountability. It takes on many forms, but fear dominates the collective consciousness.
Then, fear is used in various ways to confuse people who are already feeling lost in a world that’s always changing way too fast.
All you need to do is look at advertising to see why things are so confused in the world. Individuality is both celebrated and disparaged. Be outstanding, but not apart from the crowd. Show your grit, but don’t outshine them. You’re special, but need to buy “X” to prove it to the world. The mixed messages are deeply confusing and can cause a lot of upset.
What happened that it got so crazy out there? Change. The world has changed more in half a century than it did for hundreds of years before that. The speed of change can easily overwhelm, especially when it’s accelerating.
The biggest issue with this is that nobody teaches you how to handle change. And we should address that because change is the one and only constant in the universe. Everything everywhere changes. But when it happens too fast and causes people to feel left behind, they become afraid. Then, certain people weaponize their fear to dominate and take advantage. The MAGA movement has been called gullible and stupid by its own so-called leaders, and still, they follow. Meanwhile, you and I can’t do a damned thing about it or help them unless they decide they want help.
So, what can we do to fix the craziness out there?
Hold yourself accountable first
Modern society abhors accountability. Placing blame has nearly become an art form. It’s disheartening when you look at it.
Too many people equate accountability with accepting or taking blame. The thing is, blame is utterly, completely, and totally useless. Blame does nothing but shunt responsibility away. It serves no purpose and offers no help. It just creates an unnecessary layer of disconnection.
Accountability in this sense is taking responsibility for making choices and decisions. This matters because do you know who can make any and all choices and decisions for you and your life? That’s you. You, and you alone, can choose and decide anything and everything about who, what, where, how, and why you are.
Yes, yes, there are limitations, both real and artificial, along the way. But, ultimately, you alone live your life. Only you are in your head, heart, and soul. Holding yourself accountable, first, is a matter of recognizing and acknowledging this truth. Because once you do, you gain more control over your life experience.
All real, actual, factual control that you have is connected to your inner being. You can and do control your thoughts, feelings, intentions, approach, and actions. That means you are the driver of your life experience. But you must choose that to do that.
This can be challenging because the world is full to overflowing with disempowerers.
Be accountable for your empowerment
People can advise you. They can teach you new things, inspire you, guide you, encourage you, and more. What they cannot do is choose and decide for you. Along this line, neither can they empower you.
People disempower you by telling you how you’re limited, how much you will suffer from lacking, and convincing you to look outside yourself and blame him, her, or them for all that ails you. Blame does nothing good for anyone and is just a distraction.
Empowerment comes from within. It starts when you make consciously aware, mindful choices and decisions. Not just big, life-changing ones. Smaller, daily choices and decisions empower you, too.
To be fair, there’s a reason for subconscious rote, routine, and habit. They allow you to do certain things automatically that require very little brain power. The problem is when you stop being accountable and allow your subconscious to do the driving. Before you know it, you feel off, wonder why things seem so uncertain, and experience a sense that you have no control.
By recognizing and acknowledging that empowerment comes from within, you become accountable for your empowerment. That opens the door to let you choose your own path and take new actions to control the direction of your life.
Unfortunately, this only works for you and your life. However, that’s not a function in a vacuum.
Empowerment empowers
Have you ever known someone who just really has it together? They always seem to be in control of their life, and make you feel like you can learn from their example? That’s how empowerment empowers.
When you’re empowered, you radiate that to the world at large. You become a beacon that can help guide others along the way. No, you can’t change or control them, but you can offer them help, guidance, and insight.
To begin, you must hold yourself accountable first. Blaming someone or something? Stop. Even if you can prove they have a hand in your troubles, giving and placing blame fixes nothing. All it does is distract. Blame is pointless and unnecessary.
Once you hold yourself accountable, you open yourself to looking into what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, the positivity or negativity of your approach, and your actions. Once you get to know these, you can change them via new choices and decisions. Taking that action empowers you. Your empowerment can then empower others.
One last important note. Some might see this as selfish. If you create boundaries for your peace of mind that weren’t there before, other people might see it as a selfish act. It is not. You alone know what’s best for you. Holding yourself accountable to be empowered can spread and do more good in a world where all the good helps.
Can you see the good that can come when you hold yourself accountable first?
This is the seventh-hundred-forty-fifth (745) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this philosophy because I desire to make a difference in the world and help as many people as I can to find their empowerment with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
Also, please check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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