What if Your “Self” is An Illusion?
Spoiler alert: it is. But that means it’s easier to shape and change.
This is one of my very favorite quotes from Albert Einstein:
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
This particular notion is quite deep. But to many, it’s also utterly terrifying. Why? Because it questions the reality and validity of what is.
Life is full of contradictions. Conflict. Ups and downs. Good and bad. Predictable and unpredictable. Opposites lie across from one another with a huge amount of isness between them. Positivity and negativity are extremes with a great deal between them. Also, the extremes aren’t static. For example, when JK Rowling first wrote the Harry Potter books, she got a lot of kids who didn’t read to read. Positive. Now, however, she’s spending the fortune she made from that to cause harm to the LGBTQ+ community. Negative.
This causes many people to live in uncertainty and seek solace outside of themselves. That’s how you get people who happily give their time, energy, and money to megachurches, Trump, and others they think will bring them comfort.
The truth is, all thoughts and feelings begin inside you. You, and only you, are in your head, heart, and soul. Nobody else is there, even if you allow them some access.
Via thoughts, feelings, intentions, and collected beliefs, values, and habits, you create the idea of your “self.” From the notion of self, you interact with the world, but not always the same way with everyone.
How you are with coworkers is likely different from how you are with friends. Then, how you are with friends and coworkers is likely different from how you are with family. All of which ties to the idea that your “self” is an illusion.
The conflict between the subconscious and conscious mind
Every single person on Earth is of three minds. The first is the Unconscious mind. This is how you breathe, how your heart beats, the neurons in your body fire, and so on. You have almost no control over this (save the ability to alter the depth of breath and, for some, the speed of your heart rate).
The Conscious mind is your current, actual, factual awareness. It only works in the here and now because it’s your awareness of the world, both within you and outside of you. The conscious mind is where you take active actions, make decisions and choices, and are present in your interactions.
Then there’s the Subconscious mind. This is where your beliefs, values, habits, and memories are stored. It’s just like a computer hard drive, holding all sorts of data, both current and not, whether you access it or just leave it there.
However, it’s also akin to a computer’s operating system, as this is where your concept of self originates.
Because you and I are encouraged to let others think for us, it’s easy to lose sight of what beliefs, values, and habits are ours versus what was installed by parents, teachers, friends, acquaintances, gurus, enemies, and all sorts of other outside influencers. How do you learn if your beliefs, values, and habits are your own and suit you as such? By using the conscious mind to navigate the subconscious.
Conflict can ensue here. Why? Because who you believe your “self” to be might be counter to the impression you make on others, as well as the “self” you desire to be. You find old data and new data in conflict.
This is where the illusion of your “self” is a help rather than a hindrance.
Your “self” is an illusion you created
There are exactly three truths about life for everyone, everywhere. You were born. You live. And you will die. It’s the living part that’s super complicated. The degree of complexity is variable on many, many levels.
All 8 billion people on the planet have a sense of self. Apart from you having a mind, body, and soul, all the rest of your concept of self is illusory. You define yourself with labels that are made up. Male, female, nonbinary. Straight, gay, bi. Short, average, tall. White, black, brown. American, German, Iranian. Genius, mediocre, idiot. I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.
Then, to cloud things further, people will tell you who, what, where, how, and why you are. Or should be. Influencers, politicians, gurus, religious leaders, friends, rivals, you name ‘em, they present to you who they think you are or should be. And sometimes you believe them.
Almost all conflicts between people is about fighting to maintain the illusion of self they create. We cling to them so tightly that we make fools of ourselves and hurt both ourselves and others over superficial, artificial matters. How many wars have been fought over the right and wrong way to worship? How many laws get made to disempower one group to maintain or increase the power of another?
It’s human nature to label people, places, and things. Hence, we create a label for our self. When it comes into conflict with another’s beliefs and values, rather than accepting one another’s illusion, people fight for it instead.
What can be done to alter this?
Your “self” and change
I would argue that most conflict is the result of resistance to change. We like things as they are, even when the supposed stability isn’t what we truly desire. Comfort is frequently a mislabeling of consistency. That’s why comfort zone is frequently a misnomer.
Change is the one and only constant in the Universe. Change can, will, and does occur all the time. Like it or not, you change. So does everyone and everything.
It can be so damned slow that you won’t see it in your lifetime. However, it can also be so swift that it catches you utterly off guard. Frequently, change is totally, completely, and utterly out of your control.
And that’s where conflict ensues. Progress is part of change. That’s why the world of the 1950s, the idea of work and family from that era, is utterly different in 2026. The world has progressed to recognize and acknowledge homosexual couples, work that doesn’t involve being in an office from 9 to 5, and people who aren’t white.
For some, however, this is utterly terrifying and counter to their beliefs, values, and memories. Then, certain people take advantage of their fear and manipulate them, producing conflict.
Nobody teaches anyone how to identify themselves. You don’t learn in school any idea of self, because it’s so fluid, and because my illusion of the world differs from yours. Neither are we taught that change is, like it or not, and we can only resist certain elements of it but not others.
When more people learn not to fear change, they become empowered. And we can’t have that now, can we?
You empower yourself
I don’t know who, what, where, how, or why you are. Even if we know one another, I only know a little bit about you. That’s because of the illusion of your “self” you share, and the illusion of my “self” that I share.
Outside influence and notions can help you learn things. But only you can apply them. This usually requires becoming mindful and thus actively consciously aware. That only can only be done right here and now. The past has come and gone, the future is unwritten, but the now is. Mindfulness in the conscious mind is how you access that.
Then, from there, you identify what only you can know and understand: What you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, the positivity or negativity of your approach, and your actions. With that knowledge, you can address your subconscious mind and work with your beliefs, values, and habits.
From here, you can choose to alter or change anything that doesn’t suit you. Your illusion of your “self” isn’t written in stone. You can make choices and decisions to alter and change it.
Nobody but you can empower you. You empower yourself. When you recognize and acknowledge this, you gain the ability to create bigger and better.
One important caveat. This works only for you. You cannot change, alter, or fix anyone else. Your illusion of self is yours, my illusion of self is mine, and so on. You can, however, become a beacon for others to see and learn from.
Can you see that your notion of “self” is an illusion, but knowing that makes anything you desire to alter about yourself more accessible for you to control?
This is the seventh-hundred-thirty-third (733) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here.
Also, please check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.
Follow me here!
