Why Not Explore JOMO?
Reveling in the Joy Of Missing Out
Currently, I’m reading a book called Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change by April Rinne. Since I’m a firm believer in the truth that change is the one and only constant in the universe, a book about the nature of change (or, as the book addresses it, flux) speaks to me. Also, employing it to thrive is very much in line with my values and beliefs.
As I was reading this fascinating book, I was introduced to a term I had never seen before. And it thoroughly speaks to me.
JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out.
Unless you’ve lived under a rock or have been otherwise disconnected, you’re probably familiar with FOMO (the Fear of Missing Out). This phrase, popularized by Patrick J. McGinnis in 2004, has become the unfortunate, go-to summary of how many, many people live their lives.
When you are in fear of missing out, you rush around, take shortcuts, accept ideas and ways from people you might not normally accept, and generally close yourself off to a wide range of potential and possibilities. FOMO snatches away your attention, intention, and frequently distracts you.
While it seems innocuous, that it’s called FEAR of missing out creates the first problem. It’s fear-based. In a fear-based society, the last thing you need is anything else to be afraid of.
Fear is not necessarily countered by bravery or courage. It tends to be more complicated than that. That’s why it can be countered by joy.
What does the fear of missing out amount to?
Society is overflowing with expectations. People expect you to do, be, and have certain things. Some of those people are close, like friends and relatives. Many are one step removed, like teachers, coworkers, bosses, and less-close friends. Most, however, might be stated or implied – like influencers, celebrities, and politicians – but, in truth, haven’t the foggiest idea of who you are.
And, for that matter, they don’t give a fuck about you, either. They don’t know you, so how could they?
That’s not to say that you can’t care for people you don’t know. But there’s a huge difference between caring for people and their overall wellbeing – you know, like supporting marginalized people and their struggles – and caring about the specifics of people (what they drive, who they worship, what brands they wear, and so on). The former is a matter of kindness, compassion, and empathy. The latter is an impression with little to no basis in reality.
Fear is a device of lack. Fear of missing out plays into the idea that if you don’t participate in “X”, have experience “Y”, or buy product “Z”, you’ll suffer by missing out.
Any suffering you experience from most variants of missing out is going to be less than you fear it will be. As Paulo Coelho states so brilliantly in The Alchemist,
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
That summarizes why FOMO is not good for your health, wellness, or wellbeing. It’s a narrow viewpoint that creates lack and limitation where none truly exists.
This is why joy is an excellent way to combat this.
JOMO – the joy of missing out
Did your parents ever use this line on you?
“If your friends said they were going to jump off a bridge, would you?”
I think a great deal of FOMO is akin to this. With influencers and their seemingly amazing, perfect lives on instant, constant display, as well as the wealthy, athletes, and celebrities held up as the end-all-be-all, it’s easy to fall into this trap.
So, here’s a potentially uncomfortable truth. What you need and desire for your life is wholly up to you. The things that light you up, turn you on, and get you excited are unique to you. And there is nobody who can make it happen. They can be the impetus for you to act in ways to activate that, but they do not do it for you.
This is because you’re the only one inside your head, heart, and soul. Hence, nobody else can think, feel, intend, or act for you. You, and only you, know what brings you joy.
Often, the thing it’s implied you’ll suffer for missing out on will, in truth, cause you no suffering at all. Frequently, it’s just another element of the nonstop, go-go-go, work harder and harder world we live in.
It can feel like the mysterious “they” of the collective consciousness prefer you stressed, on edge, and constantly worried about what you lack and will not receive. That’s more or less the very definition of consumerism, really.
When you make your own choices and decisions, however, you’ll find that the fear of missing out isn’t a real fear. What’s more, missing out, choosing your own path, and being in charge of your own thoughts, feelings, approach, intent, and actions, can be an incredible source of joy.
And that empowers you.
Fear disempowers
The fear of missing out, FOMO, disempowers you. It takes away your ability to make reasoned, cogent choices. What’s more, it’s an absolutely horrible abuse of fear.
Fear of things that can kill you – animals capable of eating you, walking too close to a cliff’s edge, swimming in a fast current – that’s healthy fear that allows survival. Fear of the intangibles – failure, success, missing out – is an artifice that doesn’t advance you or your life experience at all.
Intangible fear takes away your agency, your sovereignty, and your power. It disempowers you. That’s why FOMO is a tool of disempowerment. Thus, choosing joy and JOMO rather than fear, and taking joy in assuming control of your life experience while missing out on often pointless things, makes you stronger, healthier, and empowered overall.
JOMO – the joy of missing out – is a tool of empowerment you can employ to choose greater balance, seek more contentment, and take charge of your life experience. JOMO is an amazing idea that could shift the narrative away from lack and scarcity to more abundance and empowered people making more reasoned – and frankly sane – choices.
Exploring JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out – isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing active conscious awareness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.
When you recognize and acknowledge that FOMO is a lack-based, crippling tool of disempowerment, scarcity, and insufficiency, you can see how it doesn’t serve you in any way. Knowing that you can choose and decide to believe if you’re truly missing out on a thing or not, you can choose and decide for yourself if there is greater joy and positivity to be found in JOMO and letting it go and willingly missing out. Especially if it’s not something that truly matters to you.
This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, that can spread to those around you for their empowerment.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the five-hundred-and-ninety-first (591) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, reblog, and spread the positivity.
Please visit here to explore all my published fiction and non-fiction.
Follow me here!
