Just Live. You Have No True Control of Anything
This is an amazingly empowering realization.
Life is unexpected and uncertain. No two days are alike. Similar, maybe, but not the same. Change is the only constant in the Universe. That’s because the Universe and everything in it is impermanent.
Buddhism takes a deep look into the nature of impermanence. But outside the Buddhist way, it’s often disregarded, ignored outright, or denied. You strive to create things permanent and enduring, as does everyone.
The reality is that nothing is permanent. Nothing is enduring. Even with millions, maybe billions of years of time, what is now will cease to be. Our sun will die, the planet will meet its end. Hell, the entire cosmos as we perceive it will change and end, too.
Many find this idea terrifying. It’s human nature to fear death and related endings. That’s why you and I strive to control whatever we can, because control creates a sense that – in the face of ultimate impermanence – we can take a stand and make a mark in the Book of Life.
Sure, you have that ability, and so do I. In this moment, at this time. However, that mark is impermanent. That little bit of control you have is incredibly limited. That tends to be deeply frustrating. However, the truth is that when you pause to examine this, recognizing what little control you have empowers you.
How is this empowering?
You are one of 8 billion individual people on Planet Earth. Every single person has one unspoken goal in life. To live.
Think about it. No matter who you are, where you come from, what you know, your goal in life is simply to live. You will go to great lengths to ensure that this comes to pass.
Fear in its rawest, basest form is an instinctual device to keep you alive. It’s fear that protected long-ago human ancestors from getting eaten by lions on the Serengeti. Fear allowed them to meet the goal – To live.
What it takes to live in this day and age is wildly different depending on where you are. Living in the United States, for example, to live, you must work, earn enough money to afford the basics and more, and minimally contribute to society at large. In war-torn Ukraine, Gaza, and similar places, to live you must avoid those who seek to take your land and life. In the jungles of the Amazon basin, what it takes to live is something I can’t fully comprehend.
All of the above is a lie. Everything above about what it takes to live is artificial. To live, all you truly need to do is breathe in.
I recognize my privilege here. Though there’s room for improvement in my life, I have it pretty good. Yet I still strive to control things I can’t and get frustrated when that happens.
When I pause and look closely at this reality, it’s clear that no matter what I do, what I control is super limited. Ergo, when I shift my focus and breathe into what is, here and now, I feel a sense of relief. I live. And that’s what matters most and is deeply empowering,
All you can control is your inner being
As of this writing, I’ve been doing medieval fencing for over 30 years. While I have learned a lot of different forms, styles, and ways, there’s still room for me to improve my game. To that end, in part to get better and in part to enjoy this sport I’ve developed an aptitude for, I attend from 1 to 3 practices a week.
Some nights, I see my skill and longtime practice show themselves. Yet some nights, it’s like I’ve not got 30 years’ experience under my belt. Instead, it feels as if I can hardly fight my way out of a wet paper bag with scissors.
When that happens, the voices in my head tell me that, after all this time, I should be better. I shouldn’t lose to those far less experienced fighters. This can take me down a dark and stormy path of anger, frustration, and other negative emotions that steal away my self-sovereignty, confidence, and mindfulness.
Can I control the skill of my opponents? No. Can I control when the arthritis in my right knee flares up? No. If I eat too heavy a meal before practice, can I control how that might slow me down? Nope. Can I control how tired I might or might not be, if the drive to practice was pleasant or unpleasant, and if my shoulder is getting achy? No, no, and no.
Nothing at all in the entire Universe will give me control over any of the above. What I do and can control, however, is my reaction to it.
Specifically, my inner being. I control my thoughts, feelings, actions, approach, and intentions. What I do in the face of adversity, pain, suffering, frustration, and the like.
How is this an empowering realization?
I can’t control anything external at all. I can and do, however, control my emotions, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This is empowering because it means I can shift my focus and stop trying to control what I can’t control.
The messages you are beamed from the internet, TV, radio, and all other forms of media suggest you can and do have control of external things. Buy that product and you’ll gain respect. It’s more specifically implied that you will gain control of how other people view you.
That’s utterly bullshit. You have zero control over how others view, perceive, accept, reject, or ignore you.
Likewise, you can take a drug to mask pain, reduce inflammation, help bridge gaps in brain chemistry, and so on. Yet you still have no control over these, and whether those drugs will be effective or not.
What you do control is your thoughts, feelings, actions, approach, and intentions. However, it takes mindfulness and active conscious awareness to do this. The empowerment comes from this realization.
You are the only one in your head, heart, and soul. Nobody but you think your thoughts, feel your feelings, intend your intentions, and take your actions. These are all that you control. That’s a lot, because controlling them determines what living looks like for you.
Real, genuine, actual living. Life can’t and won’t always be one given way. It will be amazing and terrible. Happy and sad. Positive and negative. Enlightening and terrifying. That’s part of the impermanence of the Universe. Being one with this notion empowers you because it helps you let go of trying to control what you can’t.
Accept control of nothing and just live
When shit happens, you will have an immediate reaction you can’t control. Anger, frustration, fear, excitement, joy, revelation – they simply occur in response to happenings in your life. That unexpected kiss you deeply desired will make you feel initially ecstatic. That elation might shift to joy with what comes next. Or, it might turn to horror when that kiss sparks the end or the shifting of an existing relationship, friendship, or the perception of others that you’re a good person or a bad person in their eyes.
You have no control over this reaction just as you have no control over the happening itself. This shows you how life just is. It happens, no matter what you try to do.
One day I left my apartment, thinking to get exercise and walk to the post office. A week later I found myself in hospital, having been hit by a car crossing the street. I had no control over what happened, or how fast or slowly I would heal. If at all. Faced with this reality, I controlled the only thing I could. My thoughts, feelings, actions, approach, and intentions. Apart from that, I was grateful to be alive and worked hard to just live.
Mindfulness of control and no control to live
You don’t need to be the victim of a hit-and-run to come to this realization. At any time, you can be here, present in the now, and use conscious awareness to know what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, if your approach is positive or negative, what your intentions are, and what actions you do or don’t take. Doing so is mindfulness.
Mindfulness lets you accept what you can’t and don’t control. Then, when you be here, now, you live. You’re alive. Your heart is beating, you’re breathing, and thus you’re living.
“Just live” looks small. But isn’t that, truly, the goal of every single being? Aren’t you on this Earth, here and now, primarily to live?
This is the six-hundred and forty-eighth (648) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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