You Might Get Broken, But You Won’t be Beaten
Not unless you give up or choose to give in to suffering.
Life is unpredictable in so many ways. One moment, everything can be dark, distressing, and deeply unpleasant. Then, the next moment, it can be brilliant, exciting, and deeply joyful. Most of the time life falls somewhere between these extremes.
The modern world is obsessed with extremes. So many things are viewed as either/or, rather than the far vaster middle between them. It’s all black or white, never mind the shades of grey and myriad of colors between the opposite poles. Most people live somewhere between the poles, no matter what opposites you’re looking at.
One Size Fits All never fits all. Yet you’re constantly bombarded by messages to conform, to find your accepted place in society, and to be a cog in the machine.
When I began to develop my Pathwalking philosophy, it was because I have never been a good cog in the machine. Corporate America and I rarely have seen eye to eye. Once, when I was told that management wanted the input of us common workers, I gave it. That did not go well, and it made me suspect and a nonconformist in the eyes of management. It was no surprise to me when I was increasingly scrutinized, written up for ridiculous infractions, and summarily fired.
Though it wasn’t literal, I was broken by this. Not badly, not permanently. Yet getting fired is akin to getting broken.
I was not, however, beaten. This would lead me to learn and grow beyond what I thought possible before.
The hits just keep on coming
In my 20s and 30s, I went through a lot of wobbly, sometimes outright fucked-up relationships. While one or two were mostly about the women I dated, the majority of the troubles were of my making.
I suffered what you might call “The Grass is Always Greener” syndrome. Or, arguably, the more current take on this notion is FOMO. What if, while I’m with her, a better her comes along? What if by being committed to this one, that one presents herself and I miss out on her? How can I close myself off to what might be, and might be better?
Yeah, it was far uglier than that. Frankly, it’s a wonder to me I’m on as good terms as I am with many of my exes. Though you might argue that I was doing the breaking, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t being broken along the way.
Yet despite this, I was never beaten. In time, I learned from my mistakes (admittedly, sometimes after making them a half-dozen times or so) and began having better relationships. Now, I’m married, and we have phenomenal communication and agree to be genuine and honest about our needs. That’s part of why we’re polyamorous.
Then there was my career path. That, in my 20s and 30s, was possibly as messy as my relationships were. My college degree didn’t pave the way for my career, as getting work in theatre and radio became unappealing and overly challenging. So I didn’t pursue either. Between graduating college and turning 40, I held at least 10 different jobs. Some I quit, while I was also laid off and fired along the way.
Getting fired and laid off is a form of getting broken. Was I beaten? No.
You might get broken, but you won’t be beaten, unless…
When it comes to your mental, emotional, and spiritual health, wellness, and wellbeing, lots of things might break you along the way.
It’s easy to focus on and pay attention to getting broken physically. However, since that’s only a quarter of your whole, holistic being, it gets far more attention than it’s due.
This is a large part of why the nation, if not the world, is in the middle of a rather massive mental health crisis. Much energy and attention is given to the physical body, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual? They’re left to fend for themselves.
You’re taught throughout your youth to care for your body in numerous ways. Diet, exercise, dental care, hair and skin care, all of these get tons of focus and you’re taught to mind them. This is not true of your intangible, other elements of your being, however.
Thus, stress, fear, anxiety, depression, and uncertainty are invisible illnesses that silently attack the physical via the mental, emotional, and spiritual. This can become quickly overwhelming, especially if you fall for the messages of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency, then turn outwards to solve these matters.
However, the first step to any healing when you’re broken starts within. Physically, you stop doing that thing that’s causing you pain, call the doctor, visit the urgent care, and so on. What can you do mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Mindful conscious awareness is the key.
You might be broken mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or even physically; but you won’t be beaten unless you allow yourself to be. That might be harsh, but it’s the truth. You can apply mindfulness to start anew, learn new things, grow, and change. Or not, and be beaten and resigned to whatever.
It’s all about mindfulness and choice
You have more power than you probably realize.
When you get broken physically, fixing the damage is usually direct. Bandages, casts, surgeries, and other familiar modes are used to repair the damage.
Mental, emotional, and spiritual damage is another matter. There is no One True Way for everyone, with one exception. Active conscious awareness, i.e., mindfulness.
Mindfulness practice of this sort begins with becoming consciously aware of what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what your intentions are, the positivity or negativity of your life approach, and what you are or aren’t doing. In this way, you can become fully consciously aware of who, what, where, how, and why you are.
Thus, you gain insight into the intangible elements of your health, wellness, and wellbeing. When these are broken, mindfulness is where you learn what damage has been done and what you need to do to fix it.
So, you might (and let’s face it, most probably will) get broken in one or more of the elements of your health, wellness, and wellbeing along the way. However, you won’t be beaten unless you allow yourself to be.
Broken but not beaten is a choice
Some challenges will feel insurmountable in this life. Shit happens outside of your control that is painful, hurts, and might feel unending. Due to the inevitability of the only constant in the universe – change – this is unavoidable.
So long as you are here, drawing breath, and capable of independent thought, feeling, action, and intention, you won’t be beaten. Unless you allow yourself to be.
Beaten means giving up, giving in, and losing faith in yourself. You’re beaten when you decide you’ve had enough, lose your desire to keep on keeping on, and stop trying.
This is NOT, for the record, the same as consciously choosing to quit something and move on. Nor is it surrendering to being unable to do something without learning a thing you don’t know yet. Being beaten is deciding you have no power, are too broken to move on, and that life sucks and nothing can bring you joy.
Everyone gets broken along the way. That’s the nature of the human condition. So long as you live, you can recover. It might not be total. Who, what, where, how, and even why you are might be very different on the other side. Yet, you are not beaten when you’re broken – unless you let yourself be beaten.
There are always resources to help you heal. No matter how you’re broken – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – something is available to you to aid your recovery. It might be a matter of physical therapy, psychotherapy, pharmacology, meditation, twelve-step programs, conversation, journaling, or a combination of some or all of the above – and other helpful options. You are not beaten unless you choose to be, and you can get help and healing from without to repair what’s broken within.
You are unconditionally worthy and deserving
Please recognize that you are unconditionally worthy and deserving. You, me, that asshole running for office, those idiots on the road, and everyone is a human that’s being, living in a crazy world. You are not them, they are not you, and you need not be anyone or anything more than you are to be worthy and deserving of going on.
When you get broken you are not beaten unless you allow yourself to be. Unconditionally, you are worthy and deserving of making choices and decisions to heal on any and all levels necessary. You don’t need to lose 20 pounds, buy the iPhone, learn a new language, or any other conditions to be worthy of being a human being.
Recognizing this, you’ll see how when you’re broken, you’re not beaten. It might be challenging, it might take time and effort. Yet you deserve to recover from it and are worthy of healing, whatever that requires.
Do you see how you might get broken, but aren’t beaten unless you choose to be?
This is the six-hundred and forty-first (641) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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