How Do You Choose to Stay Strong in This Crazy Timeline?
Staying strong is a choice. But some days – you can’t be strong.
For the second time in 2 weeks, I have been directly exposed to COVID.
Last time I tested negative. And this time I have tested negative again. But that doesn’t make it any less distressing.
I am less worried about myself than about my wife. Not to overshare – but my immune system is stronger than hers.
For more than 2 years, we’ve all lived in this bizarre state of utter uncertainty. The pandemic forever changed the world – though far too many people are utterly unwilling to acknowledge that truth.
Then, just to add insult to injury, the world continues to be crazy and uncertain. Putin invades Ukraine for no good reason, and more children are murdered in school shootings while many of those in power refuse to do anything about it. And don’t even get me started on the increasingly blatant racism, homophobia, transphobia, and other regressive acts on the part of religious, business, and political leaders.
It’s easy to feel powerless in the face of it all. And to some degree – we are.
What can we do to stay strong in this crazy timeline?
We can start by choosing ourselves.
Choosing yourself is not selfish
We are utterly bombarded by constant messages that we should not put ourselves first. Nope. Put your children first, your parents first, your job first, your nation first, etc. If you place yourself first, you’re a bad person and part of the problem.
This is simply not true. But a huge part of this is a massive misunderstanding of what genuine selfishness looks like.
It is NOT selfish to care for yourself. You are the only you that there is or ever will be. And while it’s good to connect with and have others to care about – you need to care about and for yourself, first. When you ignore your own care and needs you create barriers and unnecessary suffering.
It is not selfish to set boundaries, say no, and care for your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Because the only one who can care for you is you. Outside help is available in the form of doctors, therapists, and friends. But they are of no use if you don’t first choose yourself and to care for yourself.
True selfishness involves intention and malice of forethought. You knowingly take and leave little to nothing behind. Not to overuse the analogy – but when you are 1 of 8 people and there is a slice of pizza for each of you, selfishness is you taking 2 or 3 slices knowing someone gets none. It truly is that simple an equation.
When you choose yourself, you empower yourself. That empowerment lets you take care of your needs and give yourself the fuel and energy necessary to survive, let alone be strong and thrive.
This isn’t selfish because you intend no harm. And knowing you might cause others to feel hurt is not the same as intentional harm.
To be strong you need to be true to you
When you choose yourself, you might cause others to feel hurt. Particularly if, up ‘til now, you haven’t chosen yourself first before.
What does that mean? It means that when you say no to the triggering situation, set boundaries with the takers – intentional or unintentional – and practice matters of self-care, those who expected you to put them first might call you selfish. They might berate you for your choice.
But there are some important truths that we need to consider here. And they explain why you can and should choose yourself.
First – you have zero control over how anyone else thinks, feels, or acts. Yes, you can have an influence – but you cannot do a damned thing for them. Period. Thus, you can’t make someone change how they think or act, and you can’t choose their paths.
Even as a parent guiding a child, a teacher, or a manager – all you can do is guide. You cannot choose for anyone other than you.
Now expand that out to the big picture and the crazy of this timeline. Apart from voting, protesting, writing and calling, donating, and boycotting – you can’t do anything. You have no direct impact on the pandemic, Putin’s invasion, or the gun lobbyists.
What can you control, then? You. You can control yourself. And that is a matter of mindfulness and choosing what to do with and from it.
Choose to be strong – but forgive yourself when you falter
Mindfulness is conscious awareness, here and now, in the present, of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That conscious awareness lets you determine what you are thinking, what and how you are feeling, and the intent and actions you do or don’t choose.
Recognize and acknowledge this. Because to be honest – it’s far, far more powerful than you probably realize.
Why? Because the only one inside your head, heart, and soul is you. And with that recognition and acknowledgment, you can choose to take control of that and your overall life experience.
I use this to keep writing my novels and blogs and record my podcasts. Further, I use this to teach anything I have learned to anyone interested in learning the same. It is, ultimately, my goal to be a beacon of light and hope in this crazy timeline.
But some days I can’t be strong. The bad news, the sad news, the uncertainty, and the depression are overwhelming. And I falter.
Guess what? So does everyone. NOBODY is strong all the time. We all falter. That’s just part of the human experience.
Thus, you can choose to be strong. But accept that sometimes you won’t be. That’s normal and okay. Forgive yourself. Allow yourself to be weak and feel the negative emotions.
But then, make a new choice. Maybe later in the day, maybe tomorrow – but DO choose. Pick yourself back up. Take a deep breath, roll your shoulders, and go back into the fray.
The more we individually do this – the more we can have a positive impact on the collective consciousness. And that impact from our individual strength can put this crazy timeline in check and inject some reason into this crazy world.
You’re not alone in this. Stay strong but accept that sometimes you won’t be.
Can you see how, when you choose yourself, you choose to be strong?
This is the five-hundred and forty-fifth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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