Complain and Spin Out or Complain, Accept, and Move On?
It’s normal to complain, but what comes next is a choice.
I know some people who can and will complain about just about anything and everything you can imagine.
This, that, or the other thing – they’ll complain about it. Sometimes they will drone on and on – even years and years after whatever it is they are complaining about.
Has anyone ever gotten anywhere by complaining? Not to my knowledge. Sure, when you have a legit complaint and bring it to the attention of certain authorities, you might get recompense or some other repair to a given problem or situation. But I think that’s because there’s a difference between a complaint and complaining.
A complaint is an of-the-moment, there’s a problem matter. Hair in your food at a restaurant, package delivery that didn’t deliver, and horrendous customer service creating a complaint are actionable. Complaining about how that person hurt you 40 years ago is not. That is how a complaint and complaining differ.
And this is a choice. You get to decide if you will complain and spin out, or complain and let something go.
Be mindful and choose
I am going to cut straight to the point here. You have a choice when it comes to complaining.
Let’s face it – it is human nature to complain. We all want things to be a certain way, to happen in a specific order, and so on. When they don’t, it’s normal to complain.
But there is a huge difference between complaining and spinning out and complaining and letting it go. And it comes down to choice.
When you complain about something, you choose how to focus on that.
For example – yesterday my wife and I were driving. The road and the scenery were pleasant, and the company was also extremely pleasant. It was quite nice.
But I had a slight complaint. It was overcast. So the blue skies that I love were hidden behind clouds.
I observed this. But I didn’t spin out and let it ruin an otherwise perfect experience. I stated my complaint, then released it.
Then, I took it a step further. I put a silver lining on those grey clouds. I stated that, on the plus side, I wasn’t being blinded by a bright sun and glare.
That was it. I let it go. But I could have chosen not to – and let something utterly and completely outside of my control spin me out and ruin my day.
When you choose to complain about something on and on – that’s a choice. And all it does is make you an unnecessarily negative, unhappy person.
Why complain if you can’t act on it?
This is the question to ask if you complain. Why complain if there is nothing you can do with or about it?
That hurt that you felt over the action or inaction of another person – that happened some time ago – does complaining about it today fix it? Make it better? Punish the person who caused you that hurt? No.
That hurt caused over 40 years ago that you still bring up today is not an actionable complaint. At this stage, decades later, all you can do is keep rehashing and re-hurting yourself over that – or let it go.
If you choose to complain, it’s the equivalent of scratching off a scab and bleeding again. Do that enough times and you are guaranteed a scar. That’s a pointless self-inflicted wound.
You are the only one who can realize if you are complaining, and if it’s at all actionable – or not. If you can’t do anything at all about it, or you are just re-inflicting the wound again and again – why do you keep rehashing it?
Be mindful, make a choice, and you can decide what comes next. I don’t know about you – but I think that’s super empowering. And why hold onto so much pointless, useless negativity and complain about it over and over again?
Recognizing how you complain and what happens next isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
When you are mindful and consciously aware of the difference between complaining and an actionable complaint, you can see where you are and what you are doing. Knowing that what you complain about is doing nothing but reinjuring yourself for no good reason, you can choose to release it rather than continue to spin yourself out. That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. We can make use of this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.
Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.
This is the four hundred and thirtieth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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