Do You Wait for the Door to Open or Act to Open The Door?
When you act to open the door, you are being mindful.
Life is a constant stream of activity.
Like a flowing stream or river, life is always on the move. So long as we draw breath, we’re in motion.
And that can be extremely overwhelming sometimes.
I know how this feels. Choices and decisions can be scary and exciting at the same time. Some are more uncertain than others, too. But the outcome is seldom completely sure.
Things not of our choosing happen to everyone. That’s life. Each of us comes from a different, unique place, education, experience, social situation, and more. And like it or not – some people have it far easier than others.
But that doesn’t change that we all get to choose. Further, we get to choose with strength or weakness.
Some choices and opportunities will be better than others. Sometimes you need to decide to open the door, while other times the door will open itself.
And by the door, I am referring to the quote by Alexander Graham Bell.
“When one door closes, another opens.”
But I think the complete quote should be shared here.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
I think this quote addresses the nature of choice when it comes to the act to open the door – and the issues that often surround that choice.
Boldly or meekly go into the unknown
It’s funny to me how, as an admin, I’m pretty good at making appointments and maintaining calendars for my bosses.
When it comes to doing this for myself, I’m less diligent and skilled at it.
Calendars and to-do lists give us a point of reference for the future we can use from the present. Some people completely live by this.
And that is part of why and how the unexpected throws some people off so badly. I know people who get so set in their plan that when it goes off the rails, they close off and become increasingly meek and uncertain.
Conversely, I know people who are outstanding at pivoting with change and the uncertain. Doesn’t matter what’s on the schedule or their plan – when it changes, they pivot and roll with it.
I fall between these extremes.
In certain situations, I pivot like this was always my intent. It’s no wonder to me that I’ve always had a flair for improv theatre.
But in other situations, I feel like I’m turned into a yo-yo or a top. Up and down or spinning endlessly, uncertain when it will stop or where, how, etc.
Whatever the case may be – there’s always a choice. Go meekly or boldly with the unknown.
And this is where mindfulness comes into play.
Be mindful and act to open the door – or not
This notion seems very cut-and-dried. But it’s not, because of uncertainty.
If you know the door will open to an amazing opportunity and incredible awesomeness, would you hesitate to open it? I doubt it. Likewise, what if you know that behind the door is a hungry lion? You wouldn’t hesitate to not open it.
Uncertainty means there might be awesomeness or a hungry lion behind that door. Sure, sometimes you know it’s a better chance of one than the other. But sometimes, it’s 50/50 at best.
This is where mindfulness comes in.
Mindfulness is being consciously aware – here and now, in this moment – of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That conscious awareness lets you better commune with both your subconscious and your ego. When you get down to it, your conscious awareness – mindfulness – is you taking the wheel and doing the driving.
Thus, you choose boldly to act to open the door – or not.
When you make this choice, you are accountable. And that accountability is an element of control to direct your life. Frankly – this is the only true control that you and I can take over our life experiences.
If you find yourself hesitating, mindfulness makes it easier to question why. What’s staying my hand from reaching for the knob and opening this door? Is it fear? Self-sabotage? General uncertainty?
This is also true when the door opens without your action. Do you step through it, or what-if it to death and take no action?
Conscious awareness lets you find an answer – then choose.
Forgive yourself if/when you open the wrong door
Nobody is perfect. Or more accurately, everybody is perfectly imperfect.
The future is unwritten. As Yoda so aptly put it,
“Always in motion is the future.”
Sometimes, that door you act to open is the wrong door. Bad things happen, you suffer, and life sucks as a result.
Often, this causes self-recrimination, discontent, self-doubt, and other negatives that can be hard to shake. It also causes more hesitancy when you stand before the next door. Whether you open it or it opens of its own accord.
That’s why you need to forgive yourself when you get this wrong.
Holding onto the pain and resentment of the wrong choice is natural. But how long you allow it to impact you is a choice. Mindfulness is how you can tell if you have been holding onto that sensation too long. Do you feel like you’re punishing yourself for screwing up in the act to open the door you opened? If so – now is the best time to work to forgive yourself and move on.
You need not punish yourself. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. But rather than allow them to destroy us, we can choose to use them to build us up and help us grow.
And all of us are worthy and deserving of that.
There are always doors to choose. Be mindful, and even if it’s the wrong door, something right may still lie behind it.
Choosing to act to open the door isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
When we are faced with a door to the next place our life can go, we get to decide if we will act to open it, wait for it to open, or leave it closed. Knowing that we can decide what to do with this, we can be mindful of where we are coming from as we face the uncertainty – and actively make our choice. That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. We can use this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – I believe shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.
Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.
This is the four hundred and twenty-sixth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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