How Important is it for Me to Know Who and What NOT Be?
It’s just as important for me to know who and what not to be as who and what to be.
Let’s just get this out of the way, shall we? Let’s quote some Hamlet from Shakespeare,
“To be or not to be – that is the question.”
The question as I am posing it today is more specific, direct, and less philosophical than Hamlet’s query.
I share what I do about mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, and the other work I do for two reasons. One – it’s the work I am doing to be the best me that I can be. Two – it’s available to everyone and I desire to help others find and walk paths of their choosing.
I frequently make this statement: The only thing that’s certain in the whole Universe is change. You might disagree – and that’s your prerogative. However – I have a whole lot of evidence both literal and figurative to prove this.
Looking over my life, I have actively put in the effort to use mindfulness and other tools to make choices to be the best version of me that I can be. But there is an important fact that’s inescapable. I cannot undo, redo, or change who I was in the past.
Past me made and didn’t make numerous choices along the way. In addition – I did some things poorly, hurtfully, and in various other ways that I don’t exactly regret – but am not proud of.
Elements of who I was have impacted who I am and who I work to be and will become. But I am still choosing every day who and what to be and who and what NOT to be.
I’d like to explore the latter.
Who and what not to be for me
Some of the past me doings that I am less than fond of – and have worked hard over the years to move beyond – are still in me.
The truth is, I make choices about who and what to be and not to be. Some of that is tied to the elements of myself I know I’d prefer not to be – but are still in me.
What do I mean? Allow me to share a few of my less-than-desirable traits of the past.
I used to be much more of a braggart. Given the opportunity, I would loudly tell you all the amazing things I did and was doing. This was a quest for praise, recognition, and tied to my need to feel important.
Past me used to be way more indecisive. Choices? Decisions? I tended to avoid making those as much as I could. Or, when I did make them – they were as safe as possible. This tied into my insecurities, fears, and abandonment issues.
The least desirable trait of my past was some narcissistic tendencies.
Based on an article about things that terrify narcissists by Karen Nimmo, I have come to see this more clearly.
I felt empty and alone but didn’t let anyone in for fear of rejection. Any criticism cut me to the bone. I wore different masks in different situations. Overall, I felt mostly indifference towards everyone and everything, ran away before I might be left behind, did whatever I could to control the narrative, needed to be seen as better than average, and dealt with feelings of shame from the slightest triggers.
Because I recognize these – and have worked on my conscious choices and choosing paths – I see what is involved in staying away from who and what not to be for me.
I choose who I am every day
I think one reason that Donald Trump and other narcissists upset me as much as they do is that I can see myself in them. If I made a few different and more selfish choices and decisions regularly – I could easily be a narcissist, too.
But that is not who I am. Because every day I choose who and what to be or not to be.
I’ve worked hard to be cognizant of my fears, insecurities, imperfections, and issues. This is not so I can avoid them, ignore them, or deny them. I’ve chosen to recognize and acknowledge them so that I can work better to understand them.
That understanding lets me choose both who and what not to be and to be.
This is never a one-and-done matter. Because change is a constant – every day is different. Thus, every day I make new choices and decisions for who, what, where, how, and why I am.
I don’t get it right every day. There are plenty of times I’ve sought to do right and caused unintentional harm instead. There have been plenty of times I’ve been an excellent diplomat but just as many times I’ve been an ass.
How do I know I am making the right choices? Results, to some degree. How I feel. Sometimes it’s gut and instinct.
I might have it wrong. That happens. But because I actively strive to choose who and what to be – I think I recognize who and what not to be – for me – and work with that clarity.
For this to work requires applying practical mindfulness.
Practical mindfulness of who and what not to be
Practical mindfulness is not mindfulness to reach a goal. What is it? Practical mindfulness is mindfulness for the sake of conscious awareness in the here and now.
True conscious awareness involves recognition of what’s going on inside of yourself. Since you are the only one in your head, heart, and soul, you alone can employ this.
Mindfulness comes from your sensory input combined with your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That makes you consciously aware – here and now, in this present moment – of your mindset/headspace/psyche self.
That conscious awareness extends further inwards to your subconscious mind and your beliefs, values, and habits. Together, they help you recognize your ego – which is who, what, and how you believe yourself to be and then project to the world at large.
The key is that practical mindfulness is not one-and-done. It’s ongoing. Because it is utterly rooted in the moment. The now. And it only works at the time of its application.
By regularly using practice mindfulness, I know myself at the moment of its employment. And that empowers me to be or not to be who, what, etc.
My deepest desire is to do what I can to make this world a better place for me and everyone. That is not so I can self-aggrandize or be more important or powerful. I love to see people be empowered, inspired, and open to potential and possibilities. That’s utterly worthwhile to me.
That good feeling gets amplified when I lend a hand and help people in whatever way I can. Often experiencing that sense of satisfaction is my ultimate goal in life.
Hence, it’s just as important to me to know who and what not to be as who and what to be.
Do you know who and what not to be – for you – and your life experience?
This is the five-hundred and twenty-eighth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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