What I Believe is True
Even though what I believe is true – I have the power to change it.
I know more than one person struggling right now. Frankly, in multiple ways, I am struggling, too.
The struggle is based on who I am now – versus – who I was and have been – versus – who I desire to be.
When you have been applying certain beliefs, habits, and values for as long as you can remember – they seem unchangeable. They appear to be solid, immutable, ever-present things whether they’re tangible or intangible.
However – they are not solid nor immutable. That’s because change is the one constant – the only constant – in the Universe. Glacially slow or stunningly swift, change is always ongoing.
When it comes to who I am now, who I was, and who I desire to be – change becomes a choice. Not an easy choice by any stretch of the imagination. But a choice, nonetheless.
There are generally three obstacles to change. Two you can work with while one you can’t.
The two obstacles you can work with are outside influencers and internal, subconscious beliefs. The one you can’t work with is the external factors you have zero control over.
Even considering these obstacles, the largest obstacle to change is this: what I believe is true. And long-held, deeply rooted beliefs are hard to let go of because they are – and have seemingly always been – true.
They ARE changeable. But the effort it takes to work with that is tremendous.
Yet I believe it’s worth it. So, I am doing all I can to change beliefs about myself that do not serve me. While this is not easy – I am certain that it will be worth it.
The three obstacles to change
The three main obstacles to change from above are,
- External factors you have zero control over
- Outside influencers
- Internal subconscious values, beliefs, and habits
What are the external factors you have zero control over? All the shit that happens day to day. Some are way outside your control and generally have no immediate impact on you. Like politics, climate change, the pandemic, and so on.
Others may impact you here and now. Like the weather, coworkers, traffic, the doings of friends and family, random strangers in a line with you, and so on.
For example, I can’t control anyone and make them buy my books so that my sales increase. This is an obstacle outside of my control.
Outside influencers are lessons, experiences, and the like from without that color what you believe. This includes what other people tell you about how you should be, what you should be doing with your life, and so on. Some are direct – people telling you that are concerned about your choices influencing what you believe.
Most, though, are passive – things you learned via experiences you have, something someone said that planted a seed and took root, the news you read, and so on.
They are changeable because you can choose how they impact you – or not. You can disregard them at will.
The largest obstacle, however, is internal. Years of holding onto values, beliefs, and habits get deeply ingrained. When they are all you have known for as far back as you can recall, they certainly look unchangeable.
If I have believed ‘X’ about myself for 30+ years – that looks like something set and unmovable. But because change is constant – it CAN be altered. But that’s a choice for me to make. Or not.
What I believe is true
– vs –
What I would choose to believe is true
This is, for me, is the largest struggle I face in changing beliefs, values, and habits.
Why? Because many of the things I believe I don’t fully understand the root of. Which makes altering them especially challenging.
For example – I believe I can make my living as a writer. That’s what I would choose to believe is true.
Deep, deep into my subconscious is a jumble of outdated beliefs fighting this. For example,
- Years of being told that only doctors, lawyers, business moguls, and the like make real money
- Receiving messages about how becoming a bestselling author is nearly impossible
- Doubts stemming from all the rejections I got when I tried to publish via the traditional route
- Questioning whether I’m worthy and deserving of success
- Fears of abandonment due to success (or failure)
Like I wrote – a jumble of outdated beliefs. Some are based on outside influencers and others are from very much within.
If I hold to the belief of any of the above – then that remains true. Consciousness creates reality. But when you are not mindful of your conscious mind, subconsciousness creates reality.
In the words of Henry Ford,
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
If I give energy to any of the above beliefs, they will remain true. Yet every single one of them can be changed.
Changing what I believe is true
The first step in changing any belief is to recognize and acknowledge it. Then, you need to find and/or create a replacement.
For example – only doctors, lawyers, business moguls, and the like make real money. I know that’s not true because Neil Gaiman, George RR Martin, NK Jemisin, and many other sci-fi and fantasy authors make real money. If they can do it – I can do it.
Becoming a bestselling author is nearly impossible. Maybe so. But becoming a successful author doesn’t require being a bestseller. I know there are plenty of writers out there making their living on writing. That’s my primary goal, after all.
Doubts stemming from all the rejections I got. Timing is everything, and the traditional publishing world might not be where I belong.
Questioning whether I’m worthy and deserving of success. This is super intangible. But I am a good person, a hard worker, and strive to do no harm. So why wouldn’t I be worthy and deserving of success?
Fears. This is the single, biggest issue of them all. Fear. It’s fear that keeps most of us from taking the leaps, making drastic changes, and striving to be who we believe we are meant to be.
It is fear that holds me back. Fear is what causes me to self-sabotage. Why? Because change is uncertain. Even with the best intentions and greatest plans, the outcome is uncertain. And uncertainty is terrifying.
Fear of suffering is the ultimate fear.
What if I fuck it all up? What if I get it completely right? Will I lose everyone and everything I hold dear? Am I going to be shunned, abandoned, and left to suffer? Ultimately – will I experience terrible suffering?
That, I believe, is the greatest fear of all. Hence, what I believe is true.
The ultimate fear
Paulo Coelho covers this rather brilliantly with this line from The Alchemist,
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
It’s not what will come of the realization of my fears that is the main obstacle. It’s the fear of the suffering that stays my hand.
For most of the people I know who are struggling, this is the primary issue they face. It’s worse when they have already been struggling. Nobody wants to struggle. It’s not fun, it feels terrible, and it is disheartening.
Often, the fear gets a softer approach. It’s not addressed as fear, which looks immense – but instead, as concern, worry, trouble, stress, and so on.
When you have experienced pain and suffering – fearing more will stop you from working actively on changing.
Yet change will happen. The real question is – how much control over it will you give yourself?
Not take. Give yourself. Because you must allow yourself to receive the power to control change.
I am the way I am. It’s how I’ve always been. There is no alternative. This is how it is. So long as I believe this – it is true.
But it’s not the truth. I can change anything about myself I desire to. It’s just a matter of giving myself permission to take that power and make changes.
Even though what I believe is true – I have the power to change it. As I walk the paths I choose for my life, what I believe is true. And if that isn’t aligning between where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I desire to be – I can change it.
I know that what I believe is true. I also know that it can be changed. That is ultimately empowering.
What do you believe?
This is the five-hundred and first exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.
Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!
Follow me here!
