How do I Truly FEEL Grateful?
It is my desire to express how grateful I am for many, many things. I am just not feeling it right now.
Why am I not feeling grateful? Because my home country is being taken over by a bunch of ultra-selfish, uncompassionate, self-promoting douchebags-of-holding. Someone in my life continues to disappoint me all-too-frequently. I know I am capable of more in this life, and yet I am my own worst enemy.
Consciousness creates reality. I write about this three times a week. I am working on a new book about this topic to expand my audience. A podcast about awareness and all the interconnected aspects of this notion is forthcoming. Yet despite all of this, genuinely feeling it and expressing the thankfulness for all things tangible and intangible feels pointless.
Low-frequency? Check. Negativity? Check. Unhelpful emotions dominating helpful ones? Check. Feeling down and angry more than up and content? Check. I see the problem. It is right here, in plain sight, completely obvious. Yet I still feel powerless to do anything about it.
I know what I can do with this. More than once I have written about methods for creating change and positivity, attitude shifters, using words to alter consciousness. But despite all of this, and how much I believe it…I am not feeling it right now.
I am grateful for so many things in my life. Me health, my wife, my friends, my home, my hobbies, my writing, my cats, my fencing weapons, and so on and so forth. Truly, I am grateful for it all. But when I try to draw gratitude into my heart and soul, work on giving it feeling…I’m stuck.
It also does not help that as an empath, I feel the pain and distress of so, so many others.
How do I restore that grateful feeling?
The gratitude is there. I am grateful for many, many things. But the grateful feeling, that pleasant, knowing sensation that comes with gratitude, is eluding me.
In no way am I blaming the legitimate pain, distress, fear and anger that friends and associates of mine are currently dealing with. Yes, as an empath I sense and feel what others are experiencing. But because I feel it too, the only outcome of the added vibes is that it amplifies my own distresses.
This is a known issue. So the question I need to find the answer to is, how do I fix it? I may not be feeling it right now, but I AM grateful, and I desire to be capable of expressing that feeling.
It’s like being on the other side of the glass. There it is, right before me. So close I can touch it…but there is glass between us. How do I get through that?
So here’s the extra catch to all this. I have my affirmations, and recognize they can and will help in this matter. But, given the current world situation, it feels completely selfish.
Just wrote about this with Pathwalking. I even said, “Feeling grateful and expressing gratitude is not an act of selfishness.”
Further, I also said, “Being grateful and expressing gratitude is positive. When we develop positivity, we can turn this into a tool to be more proactive, and take steps to effect change. Every single change starts small. It begins with you and me.”
How do I cope with feeling selfish in expressing gratitude? I believe this is a crisis of faith. Do I believe, really believe, that consciousness creates reality? More importantly…do I believe in myself?
Put my “money” where my fingers are
This ties in with the whole notion of surrender. I need to not resist what I can have, and recognize that I am manifesting this life. Living in fear and negativity is a choice. Living in boldness and positivity is a choice. This decision is mine to make. I cannot make it wrong, but the consequences of this choice will either be feeling good or feeling bad.
All the tools are mine. I have been exploring them for years. The decision to push past this dark brooding and feel grateful for the things I am thankful for is wholly up to me. Again, quoting Yoda for the umpteenth time, “Do or Do Not. There is No Try.”
Breathe. Meditate. Repeat the affirmations and mantras. Don’t just say the words, feel them. Tune out the outside influences of the world, focus on being the best me that I can be. Only after I change myself for the better can I do anything at all to change the world. That is selfless act, ergo feeling grateful cannot be selfish.
As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.
This is the ninety-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.
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