Pathwalking 212

I just want to cocoon in my bed.

We all have days like this. No matter how hard we try to find positivity, no matter how much we work to maintain a good head space, nothing seems to work.

I am walking upon the path I have chosen, and despite knowing that there will be bumps and twists and turns and obstacles along the way I am finding negotiating my path particularly challenging. I am being effected by things far out of my control, and having trouble keeping sight of that.

I can do nothing about how other people act and feel. Period. I just can’t. I can converse with them, I can tell them how their actions are making ME feel, but apart from that I have no actual control.

I can do nothing about the national scene. I mean, wow do our politics make me ill. When did we let rhetoric and idiocy so thoroughly overwhelm logic and reason and even polite discourse? It’s very disheartening to give it even the slightest attention.

So here I am, in my own little corner of the world, and I just feel disconnected. I feel as though I am adrift, and I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed.

How do I pull back from this? That’s a good question. That is the point of today’s post. How do I get myself out of this place and back to the level path I prefer to tread?

Let’s start with the root of the problem. Fear. Always comes back to that. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of disappointing those I work for, those I love, but mostly myself. Fear, my old arch-nemesis, rearing its ugly multi-headed visage and distressing me.

I am going to borrow from Frank Herbert, and strive to memorize his Litany Against Fear from Dune.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

I don’t care that this comes from a sci-fi novel, it is still a relevant sentiment. I think a lot of what has held me back over the course of my life is fear. I have written a lot about it, and I continue to struggle to work with it, and not let it control me.

Fear is so bloody powerful. Half our society is controlled by it. It’s a weapon, it is a tool, it is exploited for the purpose of control. We can empower ourselves to not be afraid, and as such to take control of our own lives, our own destinies. That is what Pathwalking is all about.

So commit the Litany to memory, and remember as well that I can overcome fear. In especial this intangible, frankly not tremendously rational fear.

What else have I got in my tool kit? Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz’s Five Agreements.

I need to also commit this to memory, and to employ it regularly. It is so very helpful, so very honest and genuine in its sentiment that it is what I need to keep in mind when I am dealing with forces outside of my control.

Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

Wow do I need to take these to heart. In particular 2 and 3. I get flustered in certain dealings with people and need to not take it personally. And meanwhile, from the same dealings, I make wild assumptions about how it’s all going, and as such stress myself out even more.

I don’t need this to interfere with my path. I alone have placed these obstacles in my way. As such, I alone have the tools to remove them.

I have a lot more tools available to me, but last and certainly not least for me today:

“Do or do not – there is no try.” Yes, he was a little green Muppet, but these words are still absolutely full of wisdom. I can’t just try to get out of the cocoon I want to roll myself into – I have to do it. I have to move forward, I have to act. I can get clear of my own head, I can make what I need to have happen, happen for myself.

Some days are a greater challenge than others. That’s just the way it is. These are not just phrases to say, they are concepts to be employed in thought, in emotion and in action to remove and overcome obstacles as I walk my path.

I am up to the challenge. I can do this.

Thanks for coming along for this wild ride.

What do you do when you don’t want to?

GOAL LOG – Week 2:

Diet: I have been tracking what I am eating daily. This week was a struggle in diligence, but I am still largely paying closer attention to what I am doing..

Exercise: No fencing last week, but as such I hit the gym three times. Some walking also happened.

Writing: This is the hardest part for me right now. I am experiencing a lack of focus that means neither writing nor editing is happening frequently. One day last week. I need to work more on this.

This is the two-hundred twelfth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life. I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

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