The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: loved ones

Why Might You Set Aside Your Path?

Once in a very great while, your path will need to be set aside for that of another.

I know that I am constantly writing about how, to consciously create reality, we have to choose for ourselves.  This is always true.  But every now and then our own path is not as important as the path of another.

How does that work?  We all have people in our lives who are important to us.  They are loved ones, close friends, people we care about who we will take actions to help when needed.  Because we are human beings, and we are social animals, this means that occasionally we may find our own path shunted off to a side for theirs.

This is the kind of thing that will happen in very specific circumstances.  We need to care for someone who is ill.  There is a move happening, and either we are going along or assisting with completing that.  Something has happened to our loved one that requires our support, and that cannot be ignored or neglected.

This is why Pathwalking is not a selfish act.  Because while each and every one of us has our own paths to choose, we seldom are completely alone in this life. There will be times that our own paths take a back seat to reality.

The important thing to know about this is that the path is not being abandoned.  Rather, we are placing it further back in our agenda of activities we partake of day to day.  Instead of the paths we walk being the primary activity in our life, they are relegated to secondary or even tertiary, depending on the situation.

No path is greater than any other.

My path is not yours.  Nobody can choose the path of another, unless you cede the choice away.  Most importantly of all, nobody’s path is greater than anyone else’s.  What this comes down to is that every path anybody can walk is equally important to any other.

I am walking a path towards becoming a more influential and financially prosperous writer.  That’s probably not yours.  Maybe your path is to create a household of love and joy.  Perhaps it is to be the best at the job you do.  Yours could be to travel to a specific exotic locale.  It’s entirely possible your path is to complete your daily to-do list.

No matter how seemingly grand or miniscule the path is, it’s not more or less important than any other.  Paths differ because people differ.  I am not you, you are not me, and so on.  Because that’s the case, this is where I at least see proof that we live in an abundant universe.

There are more than seven billion people on this planet alone.  There may be similarities amongst our desires, but how they feel to us, what it takes to achieve them, and the why likely differs dramatically.

It’s for this reason that, while we certainly cannot alter anyone else’s path unless they let us, we can still influence them.  When someone sees you do good, or succeed at a similar goal to their own, they can be encouraged or discouraged by that.  You may not even intend to have an influence, but since nobody can feel emotions like anyone else, this is outside of all control.

This is why we sometimes set our own path aside to help someone else on theirs.

There are a couple of important things to keep in mind if this occurs.

There needs to be no bitterness, hostility, anger, upset, or negativity about setting your own path aside.  If you make this choice but feel badly about it, then chances are you will resent the person whom you are setting yours aside for.

Perfect example.  This particular Pathwalk has appeared later in the day than I normally post.  Why?  Because it was more important that I help someone I love with a path they must walk.  I am in no way upset about this, it was more important to be there for my loved one than to do what I felt that I needed to do.  I set aside mine for a bit, but now I am returning to it.

This is the other major thing about this process.  While it is a good thing to be there for those we love and to set our own paths aside for a time to do that, it is important that we do not forget those we desire.  I am not advocating allowing loved ones to suffer or be in distress, but it’s important that you not neglect your own path.

This is why it’s key to set aside your path out of love, and with the intent to return to it.  It should not be for long, unless it happens that you need to change it anyhow.

No one is on a path completely alone.

Because we have people in our lives that matter to us, we’re never truly walking a given path alone.  From time to time we will walk along the path of another without having to set our own aside.  But there are also times where ours takes a backseat.  This is part of regular human interaction, and how we help our loved ones with the paths they are walking.

Have you had to set your path aside from a loved one?

 

This is the three-hundred-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

Who Gives You Permission?

You need nobody’s permission to walk your own path in life.

But you will receive an awful lot of advice, and help both useful and not from people.

When you decide to walk your own path, if, like mine, it is in any way unconventional, people will question it.  When enough people question what you have chosen, inevitably YOU will begin to question it, too.

We all have people in our lives who feel they have carte blanche in regards to advising and giving permission for us to live our lives a certain way.  Some are at a completely surreal level, so remote and removed from our lives that, truly, they have only as much power as we give to them.

A perfect example, and I mean this with no offense or disrespect, is God.  It does not matter if you view God from a religious standpoint of Judaism, Christianity, Islam or any other mono-theistic practice – some will argue you need his/her/its permission to do pretty much anything you might choose.  Without God’s blessing, some might argue, you have nothing.  Don’t even get me started on how some religious leaders will use some form of permission from God to oppress, be intolerant, deny science, or whatever meets their personal agenda.

This leads to the next surreal level, still remote and removed, where permission might be passed down or not.  Leaders in government, religion, and business love to tell us what we can and cannot do.  Sometimes they use the law to do this; other times they use tradition or obscure rules.  Many workplaces have specific rules about what we can and cannot wear, some of which is logical while some it just arbitrary and controlling.  For some, to feel empowered, they do all they can to disempower all others.

You don’t need to seek anyone’s permission.

The plain and simple truth is that when you are choosing your own path, you don’t need to seek anyone else’s permission to do so.  This is YOUR life, and nobody but you can live it.

Now we come to the people who are not-so-far removed.  Friends and loved ones.  The people who are directly a part of your life often feel they have every right to opine about your choices.

If what you are choosing is in any way unusual, people may feel the need to remark about it.  Unusual, by the way, is a loaded term.  For some it is about anything we choose that is well outside the norm, such as a career choice requiring some major life changes or a big move or doing something unlike anything you have done before.  For some, it’s as simple as not within their worldview perspective.

Everybody has a different view about how life works, yet we readily ignore this fact.  Since we are constantly inundated in our society with black or white, good or bad, either/or, up or down, Republican or Democrat, and nearly any other extreme you can think of – we find ourselves set in competition against one another.  Realistically, of course, the majority fall somewhere in the middle between any two extremes.

In many ways, because of this, people feel they have a duty to keep us in the expected path.  Society says you go to school, get a degree, get a job.  From there you get married, have kids, send them to school, then retire to a warmer clime.  Deviation from that path is deviant, and suspect, and you have permission to warn people when they stray.

Well-meaning permission changes nothing.

The thing is, because we all make our own choices in life, the only person we have to get permission from is ourselves.

Please keep in mind, I am not advocating for breaking any laws, outright anarchy, or blowing-off loved ones.  What I am saying is that you, and you alone, know what will make you happy in this life.  That being said, it’s entirely up to you to choose what will be best for you.

It can be very useful to get advice and consult with friends and loved ones.  It certainly is helpful when you have people to support you when you strive to take control over your own destiny.

I believe, to some degree, the need for permission comes from our childhood.  As children we have to get permission from our parents to do something different, to borrow the car, to stay out past curfew and such.  This gets so ingrained in us that we still feel an inherent need to seek permission when we take on something new and/or different.

Your path belongs to you, and you alone.  You may feel that you should get somebody’s permission to do whatever it is you are doing, but in truth, you don’t.  The only person who needs to approve of you and your life is you.

We are social creatures.  Even the most introverted still seek validation and comfort from without from time to time.  When our choices go outside of comfort zones, ours or those of others, it can be scary.  It can be pretty daunting, too.  Know that you are not alone, and you don’t need to get approved by anyone else.

Permit yourself to be all you want to be.

Our time on this planet is finite.  I want to experience it as fully as possible.  In order to do that, I am consciously creating my reality by making choices I intend to allow me to manifest a great life.  Even when I am faced with naysayers and well-meaning negativity, I know what I want to manifest.  I give myself permission to pursue my passion and strive to live my dream.

This, in turn, will not have a negative impact on anyone else.  The Universe is abundant, and my achieving goals will not deny anyone else the chance to do so, too.  There is plenty of what we want, since we all want different things.  We do not need approval or permission from anyone outside of ourselves.

Do you feel a need to get permission to walk the paths of your choosing?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Do I Give My Intention Attention?

Do I have enough intention and desire to go where I truly want to go?

That’s the question I am trying to answer currently.  As I am walking my chosen path, I have to examine if I have sufficient conviction.

Why is that important?  Because if I do not put enough thought, feeling and intentional action into this, I will remain stationary.  I have to give this more than just lip-service in order to achieve my goals.

It is my belief that I can manifest what I want from my life.  I have done it before, as I have stated in many previous posts.  The main issue is focus.  If I do not focus my attention on my intention, I will move at a snail’s pace, if at all.

I have gotten really good at seeing the path I want to take, envisioning the conclusion, and then beginning my trek.  Except then, as I start along my journey, I get distracted, or I spread out my focus, or I don’t give enough time and effort as I should into making the desired thing happen.

A perfect example – my business idea.  Several years ago I started Off the Compass Solutions, which I set-up as small-business consulting.  I leveraged my IT knowledge, writing skills and general office capabilities as a business.

Rather than focus on one specialty, I multitasked across several fields.  Because my attention was divided, my intention was unclear…and my business barely twitched and went nowhere.

Give your intention attention.

One of the biggest obstacles to Pathwalking I have encountered along the way is my own indecision.  I have often been wishy-washy about my desires, I have split up my focus, and I haven’t always given my 100% attention to…well…anything.

I pride myself professionally on my ability to multitask.  Hell, on more than one occasion it has been the necessity to switch roles at a given job that has kept that job interesting for me.  I sometimes have a short attention span, which is not helpful to conscious reality creation.

In addition to my sometimes insufficient attention span, my fear of failure and equal fear of success often prove able saboteurs.  So many times I have decided to not decide, or made a very soft and ineffectual decision.  This has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve encountered.

I recognize my issue here.  I see that I need to give my intention more attention.  The challenge before me is how to do that.

Logically, I understand what I need to do.  I look at how I have manifested my desires before.  The trouble I encounter, though, is maintaining my focus.  Shutting out the distractions and the doubts and making this thing happen.

Thought is intention.

I have several ideas for the path I most want to walk.  This has usually been my experience.  Choosing only one at a time has frequently been a challenge.  What if I choose wrong?  Then, what if I put all my energy into this one thing, and I fail?  What if I give this my all and I succeed?  Then, what if I screw it all up somehow?

Because of that reaction, I split my attention.  I have a back-up plan, I have an alternative path to choose when and if this one becomes unnavigable.  I have another idea I can try, and I am always considering the alternatives.

Talk about divided attention.  Is it any wonder I struggle with this like I do?  Because my intention is fragmented, I find myself facing the same issues over and over.

What am I ultimately afraid of?  Disappointment.  If I fail/if I succeed, I might disappoint people, myself included.  Abandonment.  If I fail/if I succeed, I might be abandoned by those who love me.  Ultimately, it’s a fear of the unknown and not being entirely willing to accept it and still act.

I want to walk my own path in life because I don’t just want to exist, I want to experience life.  I want to learn new things, have interesting experiences, and ultimately be happy.  Further, I want to share that with others, which is part of why I write about my work on conscious reality creation.  I don’t want to continue to work meaningless jobs, wasting most of my day…I want to be, have, and do more than that.

Intention requires action.

When I was healing from my injuries, I gave my entire attention to the process.  There was never an alternative.  I would heal, completely, no question.  Every step of the way, through therapy and recovery, the only outcome I saw was complete healing.  My intention got my whole attention, and it worked.  If I don’t show you my scars or tell you about it, you would never know the extent of the damage to my body.

I intend to earn my living as a writer.  I want to write these blogs, my novels, and perhaps television and movies.  It would be completely acceptable to work on freelance copywriting, copyediting, web content and SEO writing.    I am a writer, and I intend to put my energy into writing.

The biggest obstacle to this path is my attention.  I need to stop distracting myself with thoughts of inadequacy.  My fears need to be acknowledged, but not allowed to rule me and my actions.  I need to hyper-focus on seeing myself as a successful writer, no matter what genre I work in.  It’s important that I see this as the only possible outcome.

No contingencies, no back-up plans.  I can have other paths in mind, but I cannot walk more than one path at a time…nobody can.  I need to focus my attention on this intention.  From there, I believe I can consciously create reality, and manifest the life I most desire.

Do your intentions get your attention?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What is Well-Intentioned Resistance?

As you walk your chosen paths, you will meet well-intentioned resistance.

Well-intentioned resistance is when people give you news and information that is “for your own good” or to “tell it like it is” or to otherwise offer advice, in order to keep you from making “poor” choices.  This comes from those closest to you, and can be very disconcerting.

Society has certain norms and expectations of us.  We are supposed to go through the motions.  You work five days a week, at least eight hours a day.  Get a job that pays the most money you can make, and expect that it might be soul-sucking and lacking in fun.  Have a romantic partner, because you’re not supposed to be alone.  Get a college education. 

When you break from those expectations, those who are closest to you may not understand.  They think that because you are doing something different and possibly risky, you don’t recognize the dangers.  They may well believe in you, but they also are firmly rooted in that which is considered “normal”.  What you are doing is alien, unusual, and thus suspect.

Meeting well-intentioned resistance is deeply frustrating.

The challenge of finding and choosing your own path, and breaking away from the societal norm is difficult enough.  When your loved ones question your choices, and your actions, it adds a whole layer of difficulty you don’t need.  Working on being more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, then employing consciousness to create a new reality is huge.  Breaking from the expected is scary enough, but having other people add their fears to your work isn’t helpful.

Pathwalking is about taking control of life, choosing your own adventures.  When you come to terms with the notion that consciousness creates reality, it feels almost crazy.  Can it really be THAT easy to break away from a life that leaves me flat and build one that excites me?  Of course the answer is both yes and no, because becoming AWARE of how and what you are thinking, feeling and acting upon takes a lot of adjustment.

Adding outside influences to this mix is inevitable.  Unless you are completely alone in the world, or cut-off from news and social-media and whatnot, you will encounter outside influences.  It can be tough to avoid general outside influences, but it’s really hard to avoid loved ones, be they family or friends.

Don’t let the other people’s fear become your fear.

Because nobody but you can know what is in your head, explaining the path you are walking may feel futile.  Try though you might to show in detail how you are striving to manifest a life you want, some people simply won’t get it.  This is especially true when those people love you, and you love them, and they only want what they think is best for you.

This is one of the key issues, of course.  What THEY think is best for YOU.  How do they know?  How can they know?  Answer – they don’t.  But in their own experiences, what you are doing might seem unusual, might seem overly optimistic, might even seem crazy.  Because they don’t want you to be hurt, they offer you their own point-of-view, which is resistance to the change you are working to make.

It is human nature to protect those we love.  Whether that means standing between your child and a hungry lion, or trying to dissuade that child from an idea you don’t understand and fear might maul them in the same manner, it is viewed as protective, and a part of love.  Of course that makes it all-the-more insidious.

How do you accept that love without letting it affect you?

While our loved ones are throwing a wet blanket over our path in an attempt to stop us from being hurt, we, in turn, don’t want to hurt them.  Yet we generally won’t tell them to back off, or thanks but no thanks, or what-have-you.  Further, if they are the type to harp on a topic long enough, no matter how strong your psyche, it will wear you down and complicate the path you are walking.

What can you do about this?

First: Don’t take it in unless it REALLY resonates with you.  Sometimes, this outside perspective may show that you actually SHOULD step away from the path you are on.  Maybe the well-intentioned resistance opens a new path showing that which you are on won’t work.  However, once you’ve reached the point of meeting this resistance, this likely won’t be the case.

Second: Don’t argue.  It’s part of our nature to meet resistance with resistance.  This won’t dissuade the well-intentioned, they will take it as a sign that they are right.

Third: Don’t fully engage.  Thank them for their advice, but don’t really engage them to go further.  Change the topic.  Walk away.  Make an excuse to get off the phone or stop texting or whatever.

Fourth: Don’t discuss it with them in the future.  The people offering well-intentioned resistance have shown that they are not a good sounding board, so it might be best to steer clear of the topic as often as possible.

Fifth: Consult with a confidant for reassurance.  We are only human, and when our loved ones show that they don’t believe in our goals, well-intentioned or not, it hurts.  Talking with someone who supports your path can restore your confidence.

Keep walking your own path.

Pathwalking is a challenge.  However, I believe that manifesting the life I most desire, and being happy in what I do and how I spend my days is more important than going with the flow and being discontent.  This is why I am striving to choose for myself, and walk the best path for me that I can.

Have you met well-intentioned resistance along the way?

 

This is the two-hundred ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

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