The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: hate (Page 1 of 9)

Is Change Good or Bad?

Change is a good thing.

Yet this terrifies us.  Change leads to the unknown, and in our fear-based society, the unknown frightens us.

Crossing the Bridges 50I know that to some degree, this is a survival instinct.  When we lived in caves, and had a limited knowledge of anything but the immediate geography, the unknown beyond was almost unimaginable.  What kind of creatures are over that mountain?  Are there monsters in the sea?  Does that village we see smoke from contain cannibals?

Some among our ancient ancestors didn’t leave the immediate area.  But others did, they ventured out, faced the fear, changed the world they knew.  From that shift we evolved from hunter-gatherers to farmers, and change happened.

Our world evolved.  We crossed the sea, we went over the mountain, and we met the people of that village.  We swallowed our fear, we became explorers, and our world grew.

Change is how we got to our modern society.  Do you realize that a hundred years ago the idea of instantaneous global communications would have been totally unbelievable?  Because of changes in our technology, here we are.  The moment I post this it can be read anywhere in the world.

Yet deep down, the majority of us fear change.  And many of those who act as our “leaders” love to do whatever they can to exploit that fear.  They use that to maintain whatever status quo holds their so-called power.

Change happens whether you like it or not.

This is the truth.  Everything changes.  Every single day things move, shift, evolve.  This is inevitable.  It is also unavoidable.

I am at the cusp of some pretty major changes in my life.  Several matters are about to shift, ranging from my employment, to my home, to my physical, emotional and mental health.  Rather than just let these transitions happen, I am working on controlling them, and embracing them.

For example…we will be moving at the end of the fall.  While we are only moving two hours away from where we currently live, it will be the first time in over twenty years I will be relocating to a substantially different locale.  I’ll be less than an hour from a different major city than I have lived near for over two decades.

We have chosen this change.  Why?  Because transmutaion is good.  Change is growth, evolution, and opportunity.  Without these, we face stagnation.  The lack of growth can lead to staleness, like a standing pool of water, and a stagnant life can lead to enormous dissatisfaction.

Even if you are content with how things are, no matter how long they remain constant, they will still change.  A lot of this stuff is beyond our control.  How we react to it, however, is entirely up to each and every one of us.

Further, some change is unwanted.  I am going to get political here, because it is really hard not to.  Look at the effort our President is putting into obliterating everything his predecessor did.  Look at how, rather than fix the issues with the ACA, congress keeps trying to tear it down.  Millions of lives will be effected by some pretty selfish, thoughtless acts, and changes to policy.  A transition will happen, whether we want it to or not.

Accept change, or change it.

We can choose to just let this happen, or we can fight to alter matters for the better.  Marches, rallies, non-violent protests, blog posts and other actions can be implemented to change the negative to something positive.  Elections happen, and we can work on getting rid of the dead weight in congress.  We can inundate all of these so-called leaders with letters, e mails and phone calls reminding them who they work for.  We can choose how coming change will impact us.

This is true of change on every level.  Personal, political, global, even universal.  The thing is, simply resisting is not enough, we need to have a blueprint to change for the better.  We need to not fear the change is happening, but rather embrace change that we want.  We can and should resist the fear, but to move forward we need to strike out courageously towards positive tranformations.

I am looking at a lot of variation ahead of me.  There is some fear, and I need to acknowledge it, then let it go and replace it instead with confidence in myself, and setting out to create change as I want it.  I see the bridges of change before me.  Some are a little scary, you know, those rope bridges over huge chasms that look none-too-stable?  But I want to get to the change at the other side, so crossing the bridges is my only option.

Change is growth.  It is the new. This can be exciting if I choose to make it so.  That’s what lies ahead, and I am embracing change to create the life I most desire to live.

Embrace change, resist it, or cower in fear.  The choice is wholly up to me.  Embracing change is the only way to have any control of it.  What would you prefer to do?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 35:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, but I have not been writing it down.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, two days at the gym.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; editing of Harbinger was completed as well.

Meditation:  Four of seven days last week, but I did not write anything down.

Gratitude:  I did not maintain the physical log, so this was not done.

 

This is the fiftieth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How is Pathwalking a Challenge?

I have a lot on my mind right now, and choosing a topic has been an interesting challenge.

I have been presented with the opportunity to well and truly walk my path.  This has put me in a position where I can work on setting the schedule I desire, make the use of my time I most want to.  Further, this has afforded me a chance to work on building the destiny I most want from my life.

While I am working on this, however, I am still aware of the world around me.  It is difficult sometimes to work on my own desires when I see what is happening out there.

While we can control our emotional state more readily than we usually acknowledge, it is still a challenge to do so.  There are competing feelings along the way, some of which serve and some definitely do not.

The issue here is reconciling who I am, versus who I was, versus who I want to be.  A great deal of this can be quantified with a more keen awareness of here-and-now.  Yet that presents its own challenges.

How do I create the life I most desire without neglecting responsibilities, and while working to have a positive impact on the world around me?  How do I change my mindset so that the bad feelings don’t overcome the good?

Challenges both personal and impersonal.

I have been effected by what is going on in the United States these past several months.  A Congress which cares only for their special interests; a greedy, narcissistic, clearly unstable man-child holding the Presidency.  Additionally, there are resurgent hate-groups rallying in public, threatening myself and my loved ones out of fear and anger.   I am striving to not let this inundate me, but I cannot ignore it either.

Finding a happy-medium and striking a balance between needing to know what is going on and being overwhelmed with information about it all is challenging.  Then, just to make it that much harder, living in a fear-based society where our media has to be scrutinized for bias and partisanship can be truly distressing.

Amidst all of that, I am working on creating the reality I most desire for myself.  What I want to do is non-conventional.  Thus it comes with a degree of guilt and even shame because I know so many people who believe this is not how it works.

How do I reconcile these seemingly opposed matters?  That’s the question before me today, so please bear with me as I walk through it.

Challenge Accepted.

First and foremost, I think I need to consume less media.  I want to be aware of what is going on out there, but I need to not drown myself in it.  There is just so much information.  Then there’s a metric ton of anger, fear, hate, loathing, deep concern, and all sorts of additional negative feelings attached to it.  I’m already avoiding watching any news networks.  I think I need to spend less time in my Twitter feed and online overall.

However, I still need and want to support those resisting this.  I am pro-equality, in every single form that takes.  A supporter of equal rights, pay, and equal treatment under the law, I need to continue to do all I can to show that support.

One critical aspect of this, however, boils down to my mental and emotional health.  By walking my own path and creating the life I most desire, I am setting myself up to be more effective to those causes.

Mental health is an inside job.

In addition to our society being fear-based, we also are terrific at passing the buck, placing blame, and taking little to no accountability for anything.  The message we are constantly presented with is that someone else is wrong, it is another’s fault, and so-and-so is blameless in ‘x’ matter.

This winds up getting applied to feelings as well.  You made me feel angry; that made me feel bad; they hurt me; you made me feel unimportant and the like get tossed about too easily.  Certainly other people and events can cause us to feel a certain way, but we are the only ones who can feel it.

We get to choose, when something makes us feel bad, how long to hold onto that.  Do you want to wallow in it, or acknowledge it, react to it, then let it go?  This is entirely within our individual power to affect.

As such, creating the life I most want to live will grow my positive feelings.  I have spent a lot of time working at jobs where I was not capable of living up to my full potential for any number of reasons.  I have spent a long time in that position because of a combination of choices, not choosing, and feelings of inadequacy or disillusionment or fear of success and failure.

Now I have reached the point in my life where I believe that I CAN have what I want, that I am able to do this thing which will ultimately make me happy, and financially secure, and stable.

Belief is the challenge.

Because I am facing conflicting emotions as I am beginning to walk my desired path, I am encountering difficulties in maintaining it.  I set a schedule for my “perfect” weekday, setting aside time to work, to read, to exercise, to make this happen.  Yet because I have some guilt about this, because it is unconventional, there is a slight undercurrent of doubt I am contending with.  This is making it harder to manifest what I want, and to take this to the next level where I can make a living doing this.

What I am currently reading speaks a lot to interrupting patterns and changing the language applied to my thoughts.  The greatest challenge I have right now is believing that I am capable of changing the message, creating the focus I need to feel the life I want to have into existence.  I cannot ignore the feelings of doubt, but I can choose if I will let them dictate my actions, or if I can change them to something more productive.

What challenges are you working with today?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

How Empowering is Humanity?

Your hate is not more powerful than our humanity.

That was the message delivered soundly in Boston this past weekend.  The protesters from the alt-right, neo-Nazis, white supremacists and other hate groups were exponentially outnumbered by the counter-protesters.  People standing for unity, for equality, and peace proved they were much, much stronger than haters.

Empowering HumanityThe positivity of this act is immeasurable.  In a time when the fear in our society has been growing continuously, to witness empowerment on that scale provides tremendous hope.

The hate groups have been shown that they will not be allowed to overwhelm us by their use of fear and anger.  They have been shown that we will not sit idly by while they attempt to make us afraid, and we have empowered ourselves counter to their plans.

An object in motion stays in motion.

What has begun here cannot just be allowed to come to a halt.  This is the beginning of the movement, not the end.  This is where we begin to stand up not only to these hate groups, but to those offering them both hard and soft support.

Are you happy with the actions of our government?  Are you willing to accept the President’s constant self-aggrandizing grandstanding and unwillingness to morally lead?  Do you accept Congress’ lack of will to govern EVERYONE and not just their contributors and special interests?  If you want to see change, this is how it begins.  We need to perform more marches, we need to hold sit-ins, and we need to hold rallies.  It should occur not only to resist the haters, but to build momentum towards changing matters for the better.

Empowering HumanityThis is ultimately empowering to us all, and the positivity of that really cannot be stated enough.  We need to expand this energy, and take this empowerment further.  The people need to remind those who are “in-power” that they serve US, and not themselves.  We need to continue this momentum to truly begin to change the world for the better.

It does not matter how we identify ourselves individually – when we work together for the greater good, the empowerment we create is a force to be reckoned with.  Let’s take what has begun here and expand it out.  We can use the positivity of this united front to overcome the fear being used to keep us disempowered.  Hate is not more powerful than our humanity.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that when we stand up to hate we can overwhelm it with our humanity, we can build from there.  When we use this momentum to continue to build more connections between ourselves, and show haters that they will not overcome our humanity, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eighty-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

Why I take Racism and the Like Personally

Though what happened in Charlottesville last weekend did not have a direct effect on me, it is still something I take personally.

Taking it personallyCrossing the Bridges is where I get the most personal, and this week in particular I need to address what I am seeing in this country.

I was born and raised Jewish.  Though I don’t practice the religion at this time, I DO culturally consider myself a Jew.  I am proud of my heritage, and it means a lot to me to be a part of the tribe.

The marchers in Charlottesville represent hate towards me for no reason other than the culture I was born into.  Full stop, that’s the simplicity of this.  And I am not the only one that their message is targeting.

My brother-in-law is black.  My niece is thus bi-racial.  I do not want to see her suffer because she is Jewish, black, and female.  The haters who marched and those who support them will not look too kindly upon her.

That’s the reality of this situation.  The so-called “alt-right”, and their allies in the KKK and neo-Nazis want to watch my family burn because we are not like them.  That is the ugly, unvarnished truth of this matter.  And I cannot help but take this personally.

Five to six million Jews were slaughtered in the Holocaust.  That is a fact.  I will not stand idly by and watch this happen again, not to anyone.  That is why I am writing these words today.

Take a stand.

The United States of America is a land of freedom.  The first amendment protects the right to free speech.   As such, these haters can march and they can protest.  They can assemble and do everything in their power to make people like me fear them.

Yet free speech applies to all of us so-called minorities, too.  We can march and we can protest.  We can assemble and do everything in our power to show these terrible people they will not make us live in fear.

The white supremacists and their allies are NOT the majority.  They are loud, they have monetary sources, and many of them are armed.  Yet the rest of us are the actual majority.  Those of us they stand against – black, Jew, Muslim, Hispanic, Indian, female, transgendered – we are the majority.

Non-violent protest has been proven effective time and again.  So we need to take our stand and unite against this angry, bitter, fearful foe.  We need to counter their protests with sit-ins, non-violent marches, peaceful rallies, and messages such as this empowering us.

We cannot just allow what is happening to continue and to snowball into something darker and more dangerous.  It is up to each and every one of us to express how we feel, and stand up for our rights.  We cannot meet their hate with hate, we need to meet it instead with honor and respect for ourselves.  We need to be empowered to tell them we will not tolerate their intolerance.

If we need to take to the streets and shout them down, together we should do this.  We need to put out more blog posts expressing ourselves and our rights to not be persecuted by these intolerant, self-righteous persons.

Come together.

All of us who are targets of these hate groups need to work together to build better.   We need to come together to show them they cannot take our nation away from us, that it belongs to us ALL, and not just their narrow belief system.  We need to stay strong, we need to work together to educate those who do not understand the danger this represents.

Today I am standing up and saying I am not afraid of you.  I will not be intimidated by your hate.  I am not alone, and my allies and I will show you that we cannot be silenced.  Let’s work together and stop these angry, fearful, intolerant people from doing more harm to our country.

It does not matter if you are male, female, black, white, brown, straight, gay, transgendered, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindi, Buddhist, atheist, Satanist, American, Canadian, Russian, insert-label-of-choice-here – this world belongs to us ALL.  The laws apply to all of us, and we cannot allow them to be usurped and twisted by loud minority groups intent on erasing us.  We have to speak up, and we have to express that we do not accept intolerance.

The blame does not fall on both sides of this argument.

Last, and certainly not least – you cannot equivocate one side with the other.  The “alt-right”, white supremacists, KKK and neo-Nazis have made it very clear that their goal is to eliminate the rest of us in whatever fashion they can do that.  They want to disempower us in every way they can, up to and including murdering us.  We who stand opposite them are not calling for their destruction, which is why one is not the same as the other.

The President is wrong about this, there is not blame on both sides when one side’s stated goal is to destroy the other.   I identify as part of the side that these people want to destroy, and I take that personally.  I will not accept this, and I know that I am not alone.

Join me.  Take a stand.  Be heard.  Let’s show them that hate is not the answer, and we will not live in fear of their intolerance.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 33:

The goal log has not yet been restarted following the Pennsic War.

 

This is the forty-seventh entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Do We Resist Hate and Fear?

Hate is never the answer.

We are all different.  You and I are not the same.  Even though we might have some similarities, we are still different.  We are individuals.  That means that each and every one of us is unique.

Yet, at the same time, we are all one.  Every single one of us, at our core, is just a being of light and energy.

We live in a fear-based society.  Recognizing this, we have to work extra hard to not be overwhelmed by fear.  Yoda put it rather well when he said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

The neo-Nazis, the so-called “alt-right”, the white supremacists, the KKK and all those groups are equal parts fear and hate.  They fear losing their identities, losing the power they believe they have, and they are afraid of change.  This leads to anger, which gets redirected as hatred for minorities, Jews and Muslims, women…take your pick.

I am in no way defending the actions of these people, but I do think we need to consider perspective.  To understand what others believe helps us find tools to combat their hate and fear.  We can be more capable when we stand up to them, and show them that their fear and hate do not empower them as they would believe.

Our society is suffering from deep fractures many do not recognize.  In the US, our government is a complete mess; many cannot tell the difference between propaganda and legitimate news and information; and the divide between the haves and the have-nots has grown almost exponentially.  Extremists have come to power, and they see only in black-and-white, ignoring the majority at the center and working to force viewpoints to their way of thinking.

Pathwalking can combat hate.

Pathwalking is about choosing our own destiny, our own fate in this life.  Rather than let life live me, I am striving to take control over that which I can.  My thoughts are my own, my goals belong to only me, and I want to live an extraordinary life of peace and joy.  I want to empower myself.

Yet despite the individuality of my purpose, I also want to empower others.  I share this philosophy because I believe that we can all benefit from greater self-awareness.  By becoming empowered, we can build amazing things.

Fear, anger and hate are not empowering.  One of the greatest mistakes these groups make is that they believe they empower themselves with their venom.  The exact opposite is true, however.  In disempowering the groups they are afraid of and hateful towards, they actually are disempowering themselves.  That is why they are standing on the other side of history, and despite a resurgence of soft political support, they are truly a minority.

The challenge is not fighting hate with hate.  It’s really really easy to dislike these people and their views and their actions.  They are hurtful, they are hateful, and not to put too fine a point on it, they come across as evil.  We can overcome their message, we are the actual majority here, but they are loud, they are backed by money, and they spew messages that bring us all low.

The right kind of resistance is not futile.

I am not advocating for going totally flower-child hippy on this.  We need to demonstrate, we need to march, we need to stand together to resist this evil.  Different is not bad.  When you get right down to it, everything at its core is energy.

It does not matter if you are black, white, male, female, transgendered, gay, straight, bi, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheiest, American, Russian, Korean, or whatever other labels you care to apply…at our core WE ARE ALL ONE.  We think differently, we have different goals, we have different wants and needs.  Yet even with all our differences, we are all one, all of us are light and energy at our core.

Reconciling our free-will and individuality of thought with our sameness of being is why we need to empower ourselves, and one another.  When we are aware of ourselves, we can do more for the world at large.  Mob mentality, and organized groups of haters lack awareness, or I don’t think they’d be so quick to spew their rancor.

Observe the reaction when individuals from the Charlottesville marchers were called-out.  When identified as part of the mob, they felt themselves empowered.  But as soon as they were named and individualized and shamed, many changed their tune, and attempted to lessen their role in hate-mongering.  Suddenly they were disempowered…though in truth they were always disempowered.

Hate can be overcome.

We need to take our own empowerment, and use it to overcome the disempowered masses.  One of the best ways to do this is to work on empowering them.  When we can show them that their lives are not being overtaken by that which they fear and hate, we can begin to help them see how disempowered they truly are by their so-called leaders, teachers, demagogues and the like.

Resist meeting hate with hate.  Love is not necessarily the opposite of hate.  Kindness, respect, sympathy, and aid are among the antonyms of hate, and can be used to combat it.  The more we are aware, the more we can help bring awareness to others.  With greater awareness, we can build a better world, and overcome the fear.

Hate is never the answer.  What do you do to resist the fear and hatred in our society?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Five Questions for Restoring Positivity

Restoring Positivity can be challenging.

April 2017 March for ScienceHere in the United States, we have recently been inundated by messages of hatred, intolerance, bigotry and worse.  Active hate groups are feeling empowered by certain elements of our government, and have been spewing their venom unabashedly.

Hard to feel positive in the face of this.  And yet, Positivity is the key to overcoming the hate.

Here are five questions which will help us to restore our Positivity when we are feeling powerless, sad, angry, or otherwise negative.

Five questions to restore Positivity

  1. What am I grateful for? Gratitude is probably the single most powerful tool for creating Positivity.  When we feel grateful for things in our lives, we will increase things to be grateful for.
  2. Who do I love/Who loves me? Love is a major part of Positivity for all of us.  Love raises our frequency, and allows us to feel better in the face of things that do not feel good.  While at times it may seem hard to believe, love is more powerful than hate.
  3. What is good in my life? Yes, this is a matter of gratitude, but from a different perspective.  Rather than just being grateful for things we have, we are actively seeking the good in our lives.
  4. What can I do about the bad I see? This is a more loaded question, but seeking answers will often present solutions that will help us to feel positive in the face of negativity.  There are always options available, and sometimes just asking ourselves what they are is the key to changing our feelings.
  5. How am I feeling? While this may seem like a no-brainer, it’s amazing how frequently our emotions simply run wild.  We just go with what input we are receiving, but don’t question how that is actually making us feel.  Negativity comes in many forms, and each can be handled with different things to be fixed.  Altering anger may be different from altering frustration; changing hopelessness could be different from changing sadness, and so on.  Knowing how we actually feel is important.

Restoring Positivity Restores Us

Mount VernonWhen we run low on cope, finding means to restore our Positivity actually restores us.  Positivity allows us to feel better about life, the universe and everything.  There will always be happenings that will make us feel negative, and that’s not a bad thing, per se.  But holding onto negativity only draws in more negativity, so actively seeking Positivity is important to our wellbeing.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that there are questions we can ask to restore our sense of Positivity, we can take steps to improve how we are feeling.  When we take control of our emotions and work on removing negative feelings, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eighty-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

How does Pathwalking Help Other People?

You cannot help the world if you don’t help yourself.

Pathwalking is about seeking out your own destiny.  Walking your own path in life.  Pathwalking is about living life to the fullest, striving for the best experiences.

It can be very hard not to feel that this idea is selfish.  It is even more difficult when you see the state of the world today.  The constant deluge of information, specifically negativity, greed, and selfishness, can be disconcerting.

I try not to get political in Pathwalking, but I feel the need presently.  The so-called “Health Care” bill the US Senate has proposed is beyond horrific.  It’s the ultimate in selfish, greedy, surreal cruelty.  The ACA may be imperfect, but this “replacement” is nothing short of inhuman.  If this legislation passes, millions will needlessly suffer.

Why is this?  Because these people in power care for nobody but themselves.  I’m sorry if you find this generalization offensive, but that’s how I see this.

How come I am taking this unusual approach?  Because when we are inundated by news of unbelievable egotism, greed and indecency, it’s hard to see the line between self-care and selfishness.

Self-help is not selfish.

Doing things to take care of yourself is not selfish.  When we don’t put ourselves first, we leave ourselves with little, if anything, to give to anyone or anything else.

I understand this feeling all-too-well.  Knowing that we need to resist, to protest, to speak out against this ugliness, it feel like the self shouldn’t be a priority.  It’s even tougher when we have jobs and maybe employer health insurance and possibly even good health not to feel like we need to give more.  We have good things, shouldn’t we accept it as sufficient and keep giving more?

The simple answer is no.  If we are not completely satisfied with our own paths and self-care, we need to continue striving to help ourselves.  This works directly with the Law of Attraction, and conscious reality creation.  The more we have, the more we have to give.

I believe that it’s easy to tell the difference between self-care and selfishness.  How?  How it feels.

Self-Care is Abundance.  Selfishness is Lack.

When we take the time to live the best life we can, to be happy with who we are and what we do, we feel abundant.  We feel good, we feel positive, and when we feel that way we want to share.  That is what helping yourself with self-care feels like.  You want to give because you have more than enough.

This is not just about tangibles like time and money.  This is also about intangibles like friendship, love and support.  I share this blog because I don’t just want to find my own paths, I want to help you do the same.  If I help you in any way, I feel good about doing that.

Selfishness hoards your time, your money, your energy.  Being selfish means you feel like there is not enough.  You don’t want to share because you are afraid things will become depleted if you do.  Selfishness comes from fear, entitlement, and a feeling of insufficiency, among other places.  Selfish feels lacking, and cares for nobody else.

The ability to help others comes from abundance.

Plain and simple, you help because you have more than enough to do so.  Even if you do not have everything you need, or even want, you still feel abundant.  From that place of abundance you have the strength to give, to lend that helping hand.  That is why self-care matters.  You have to have enough for yourself to give.

If you are driving your car from one end of the country to the other, along the way you will need to fill the tank.  You can only go so far before your fuel is depleted.  This is completely true of the self, too.  When you don’t care enough for yourself, you deplete what you have, and won’t be able to give easily or joyfully to others.

Which leads to an important distinction.  Sacrifice.  Sacrifice is a lack mentality.  Why?  Because sacrificing says, “Since there is not enough, I will go without.”  If you deny your own good to do good for others, you will do less good than you desire.  If in the process of helping someone else achieve something you do not, that can build resentment.  Resentment in turn can lead to selfishness, because due to feeling lacking and previous sacrifice, now you feel a need to take for yourself and share nothing.  Hence, perpetuating lack mentality.

Compromise is not sacrifice.

Another important distinction needs to be made here.  Compromising means you accept certain conditions that may not be exactly what you want.  Yet, this is not due to feeling lack, but rather to satisfy some other condition.  For example, let’s say you and a partner agreed to sell something you jointly own.  You think the proceeds should be split 50/50, your partner believes they should get 70% of the profit.  You point out why the proceeds should be split evenly, your partner concedes only a little bit, but still believes they should get 65%.

Maybe you are right that things should be split evenly, and while you could argue and drag out matters, to keep the peace you decide to compromise, and accept.  You choose compromise because keeping the peace and being happy matters more than being right.  It might stick in your craw some, but in the end your choice will keep everyone happier.  This is also a matter of self-care, and something to consider when walking your chosen paths.

You cannot help the world if you don’t help yourself.  Self-care is not selfish, and allows you to have even more to give.  What matters of self-care have you done lately?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

How to Make Monday YOUR Day

Today will be whatever you make it be.

It’s far too easy to approach Monday and the traditional start of the work week with distress, trepidation, displeasure, and unhappiness.  There is an entire culture of Monday woe in this society, which has been and continues to be capitalized on, and as such gets reinforced.

Does anyone want Monday to suck?  I am pretty sure the answer is NO.  I don’t really know anyone who wants to be miserable, who wants to have a bad day and a bad week, or who craves feeling powerless and unhappy.

We are all so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.  For real, we are the creators of the world in which we live.  My favorite line from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has always been, “We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams.”  In other words, we have control over the lives we live.  We choose the beat we dance to in this life, and the dreams we experience.

Keeping this in mind, why do we so readily ascribe lousiness to Monday?  Because that’s our culture.  We have this wide-ranging belief that Monday, as the beginning of the new work week, is going to probably be no fun, distressing, and generally unpleasant.

If like attracts like, and consciousness creates reality, what do you think approaching Monday with dread is going to do?  Further, why perpetuate this negative, frankly depressing approach to a day in our lives?  We are only on this earth for a limited time.  Yeah, there are going to be days that suck, and there are going to be issues and problems and challenges to be had, and sometimes it really is easiest to just go with it, go with the flow, let it be as it will be.

However, we have a choice.  Rather than fall into this notion and allow for another lousy Monday, another set-up for a less-than-desired work week, why don’t we seek better?  Why don’t we use the tools we have available to us like gratitude and positivity generators to change the station, tune in more desirable music?

Yes, we will need to expend some effort to break from the norm.  It could make people look at us askance, and wonder why we aren’t doing things in the same way they are.  So what?  If like attracts like, and consciousness creates reality, if we approach the week from a positive perspective, then we are apt to attract more positives our way.

Monday needn’t start us off in deficit, we have the ability instead to begin in abundance.  Wouldn’t you rather look to be content and happy than distraught and unhappy?  Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we have the power to choose how to approach the start of the work week, we can work on choosing to approach it from a place of abundance.  When we see the day for possibility rather than for impossibility, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-sixth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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Five Quick-and-Easy Positivity Generators

Everyone prefers to feel good over feeling bad.

Finding positivity is about finding ways to feel good.  We live in a society that feeds on a steady diet of negativity.  Fear is a tool employed by many differently “leaders” to keep people in line, and sensationalism sells and gets more clicks on social media.  This can make it far easier to live in fear and negativity than to find positivity.

Also, it’s Monday…so most of us are going to work after a weekend off.  It is widely accepted that Mondays should be loathed.  I figure, why start the work week in negativity and set that tone for the week, when we can create positivity and allow ourselves to feel better.

There are many, many things that generate positivity, but the follow five are things you can do with little or no effort, more than once in a given day, and they will help.

  1. Smile. Seriously, just take a minute and smile.  You don’t need to laugh, you don’t need to have anything in particular to smile about, simply smile for a minute or so, and see how you feel.
  2. Breathe deeply. Take at least two minutes to breathe deeply, intentionally.  Really focus on the breathing, and let the air in.  You’d be surprised how just breathing and not doing anything else will make you feel.
  3. Sit or stand more erect. Consider your posture.  When you slouch and slump, there is no energy flow.  When you stand up straight or sit up straight, you energize your core, and you would be surprised how that will improve your mood.
  4. Stretch. Roll your neck, roll your shoulders, stretch out your arms and legs for a minute or two. These are the only bodies we have, and we tend to abuse them.  Stretching doesn’t just keep our joints and muscles strong, it also helps us relax and feel more flexible.
  5. Disconnect. Go offline for a few minutes.  Take a short walk.  Step away from whatever you are doing and reset yourself.  This can be less than five minutes, and I always have suspected this is part of the allure for smokers.  You get away from it all a few minutes to get your nicotine fix.  Well, for non-smokers, we also need a few minutes to get away and break from things.  Leave your computes, tablets and phones behind for 1 to 5 minutes, and free yourself.

None of these things need to take more than five minutes, and can take as little as one minute.  All of them will allow us to feel better, and I know that I prefer to feel good over feeling bad.  It seems so very simple, and yet we tend to neglect this all too easily.

There are other options out there, but I suggest rather than getting caught up in the negativity of the world at large, each of us can generate positivity for ourselves, and from there we might find we can do much, much more than we think.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that there are little things we can do to feel good, we have tools at our disposal to improve our days.  When we make the effort to use these tools to check and alter our feeling, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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Where can you find Positivity?

Positivity can be found anywhere we look.

There are all sorts of thing, big and small, that can bring about positivity.  Sometimes they are easier to see than others.

We are alive and breathing.  We have amazing technology at our fingertips.  We are capable of loving and being loved.  We can have, do or be pretty much anything we desire.  There is sky above us and earth beneath our feet.

I know that it can feel like an impossible struggle to find positivity out there.  Sometimes the weather is upsetting, at times those we love and respect are disappointing us, and don’t even get me started on the state of politics in the world today.  And yet, even with all that taken into account, there are still ways to uncover and relish in positivity.

Sometimes we just need to slow down, take a breath, and maybe step away from things that are giving us more negativity than we desire.  Sometimes we need distractions, finding things to make us smile and laugh or otherwise redirect our thought processes.

Gratitude and inclusion can go a very long ways towards generating positivity.  Doesn’t it feel good to hear someone say “thank you?”  Do you know that saying “thank you” can be just as powerful, if not more so?  Expressing gratitude in our lives builds positive energy like nothing else can…and it’s really, really easy.

Perfect example – today in the United States is Memorial Day.  I want to say Thank You to everyone who has given of themselves to serve the country and protect and defend what we believe in.  Thank you, also, to those who offer the closest support to these men and women.  Thank you.

Our society is currently experiencing a real problem with exclusion.  We are being artificially divided by race, color, creed, religion, gender, and any other artifice one could devise so that those who feel they are in power can stay there.  When we work to be inclusive instead, however, we can generate an unbelievable amount of positivity, and when we work together we all benefit.

Yes, finding positivity can feel pretty hard.  But finding and generating positivity is good for our overall wellbeing, and it is always available to us – we just have to seek it out, and keep ourselves open to it.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we can find positivity almost anywhere that we look for it, we can open ourselves up to new ways to feel good and be happier.  When we make the effort to uncover and partake of positivity, we make ourselves feel healthier, and as such we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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