The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

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How does the use of I AM matter in Crossing the Bridges?

There are actions I can take, right now, to change my life.

The challenge with this is in mindfulness.  While the action I am looking to take is relatively simple, it requires a great deal of mindfulness.

I have written before about the power of the words I AM.  These two little words will ultimately define me, in the here and now, in absolute and specific ways.  I AM is far more powerful than the retrospective I WAS or the future-tensed I WILL BE, because it is a totally definitive declaration.

How I AM is followed is a clear-cut statement.  It will also determine perspective, expectation, and even intent.  What’s more, I AM is a true presentation of belief.

Because consciousness creates reality, what we think about and believe is made manifest.  I AM is so powerful, that it will create more of the representation it is stating.  It is a statement in present tense, which is the most powerful place for manifesting conscious creation.

Yet I know I tend to just toss around I AM statements without much thought.  I think most people do, because we really do not recognize how powerful that statement is.  It’s not about someone else, it is about ME, and as such it is intentional and focused.

How do we consciously create reality?  Thought, focused into feeling, and from feeling taking intentional action.  I AM is an intentional action statement, and is capable of creating all sorts of things, both desirable and undesirable.

Be Aware of what you think and say.

It’s all-too-easy to neglect the power of I AM, and to make statements that might seem innocuous, but in truth are powerful conscious creators.  For example, saying I am tired, I am overwhelmed, I am unhappy, I am depressed, I am fat, I am useless, I am a screw-up will make me precisely that.  I will be tired, overwhelmed, fat and depressed if I continue to abuse the power of I AM in this way.

I know that many of these are true statements.  I may be feeling tired and unhappy, and it may be a fact to state that I am overweight or suffering from depression – but making the statement of I AM reinforces these matters, and empowers them even further.

I am not advocating lying, or denying negative thoughts and feelings.  Lies cannot build much of a foundation, are impossible to sustain, and frequently become harmful, especially to ourselves.  We are going to feel negative emotions, because we’re only human, and if we didn’t know the bad we’d be incapable of knowing the good we most desire.

What I am advocating here is taking just a little more time and consideration in the use of I AM.  Knowing the manifestation power of these two tiny words, it’s hugely important to use them only with care and consideration.

Use I AM to build up, not to tear down.

Despite the truth that may be brought forth in using I AM, exercising thought and restraint in its use can totally change the world I am creating for myself.  Whenever I follow I AM with a negative statement, true or not, I am basically telling the universe this is who and what I believe that I am, so please give me more.

The action I can take, right now, to change my life, is to consider what I am thinking or saying whenever the words I AM are employed.  If I am feeling something negative, rather than express it with an I AM statement, I need to take a more impersonal viewpoint.  I need to step back from it.  For example, let’s say I am feeling tired.  Rather than say or think I am tired, I need to consider either giving that no acknowledgement at all, or an impersonal one, such as I think I could use more sleep or I feel the need for more rest or even I feel tired.  Yes, this last might be splitting hairs, but in not stating I AM, I am not taking ownership and telling the universe this is how I am and want to continue to be.

I AM is a statement of empowerment.

The universe doesn’t recognize the concept of don’t want, it only recognizes want.  Stating I AM TIRED tells the universe this is what I am and what I want.  I am owning the feeling or attribute as me, and in so doing empowering it, and telling the universe I want more of it.  This is why it is important to be aware of the statement that follows I AM, so that I can be more of what I truly want to be.  For example, I AM AWESOME.

That is the immediate, life changing action I am taking.  Every time I think or say I AM, I will take extra time to consider if the statement I am making is one I want, or one I don’t want.  Being aware is going to be a challenge, but one I think could make a massive difference in consciously creating the life I desire.

I am capable of doing this.  I am able to manifest the destiny I want.  I am grateful. Let’s do this.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 23:

Diet:  I am still working on maintaining a reasonable diet.

Exercise:  Couple single lap walks around the small lake, a day at the gym, a night of fencing.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on my modern alchemist story one day.

Meditation:  Five days last week, never less than 9 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things six days last week.

 

This is the thirty-seventh entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Can I Cross These Bridges? Dreaming vs Doing

I am afraid to do the thing I should do.

Afraid is not actually the correct feeling, however.  At least, not in the face of logic.  Maybe, the more correct thing here is I am concerned about the consequences that would come of my doing the thing I know I should do.

What is the elephant in the room?  My job.

I have a decent, reasonable paying, low-pressure job. The hours are okay.  The commute is generally not problematic.  This job covers our health insurance.

I am bored out of my mind.  Half of the job I was originally hired to do has been given to someone else, and I have almost no work to do in the remaining half.  I have done all the makework I can for it, and I tolerate the majority of my coworkers, but several of them hold majorly opposing political views, and I find them often insufferable.  More than once I have walked away from my desk to avoid getting into a discussion with people who cannot be reasoned with.

Now comes the guilt.  I am employed.  I am making a decent salary.  I want to be grateful for having this job…but I am feeling like my time is being wasted.  And I feel like an asshole because I am so discontent, rather than grateful.

I have been here before.  Frankly, I get here pretty frequently with jobs.  I reach the point where I am feeling no love for what I am doing or where I am doing it, and I will either walk away or lose the job because it gets emotionally overwhelming.

I know lots of people in low-paying jobs.  I know several people without jobs.  I know several people who have truly hateful jobs.  I know people who work for truly awful people.  My situation is not so bad…so how come I want to get out of it as badly as I do?

This is not me.  This is not where I want to be for eight-and-a-half hours of my day, five days a week.

Facing a crisis of conscience.

I know what I should do, but I can’t.  I have bills to pay, responsibilities to uphold, and I know in almost every logical way this would be a mistake to act on that impulse.

Does this make my a hypocrite?  I think it does.  I have been preaching Pathwalking, choosing my own destiny, for five-and-a-half years.  But if I was walking my own path, I would not be in this position, I would not be in this place where I have to choose between the right thing and the right thing.

How’s that?  Well, the right thing for me to do is get out of the situation.  I should leave the job that makes me miserable and take the actions I believe can and will make me money.  Yet, at the same time, I know I should keep the job and the good pay and benefits, and trudge through so I can stay in the black and pay the bills and contribute to my household.

This is and has been my greatest issue.  I simply do not believe sufficiently in my own power.  I talk a good talk, I write all about it…but I simply do not believe it.  Not completely.  I have tried and failed enough times in this life that I am choosing the familiar, the known, the soft and flabby reality I am living in.

There are many questions.

Is this really who I am?  Am I really going to just allow myself to live a life I find dull, lackluster, and half-assed?  Where is my gumption, where is my drive?  I have studied so much and read so many things…how come I still cannot trust my instinct?  Why am I still so skeptical?

I am the only one who can choose my life.  Whatever choices I make will have consequences and repercussions.  In the end, the only person who’s feelings matter in all of this is me.  I am the only one who can feel what I feel, and how I feel.  I am the only one who thinks as I do.  This is wholly and entirely on me.

This is the ultimate challenge of my own belief system.  Do I accept the notion that consciousness creates reality, for real?  Am I able to really, truly embrace this, and work with it to build a life I desire to live far more than this one?

Choices and decisions.

This is the biggest test of faith I have ever faced in my life.  This is where I choose if I want to live a life as is expected of me, or if I will live the life I really want to live.  Do I believe in my own abilities, my own strengths and skills to do this?  Can I walk the walk to match up to the talk?

This is huge.  I have a big question before me, and there is nobody who can answer it, save me.   Do I believe my own hypothesis…or am I just another dreamer who cannot become a doer?  There are no easy answers.  Let’s see what I do with this from here.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 22:

Diet:  I am maintaining a reasonable diet.

Exercise:  I spent Saturday walking all over the place, Sunday doing the same and shooting archery.  I fenced Tuesday, hit the gym Wednesday.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on my modern alchemist story one day.

Meditation:  Four days last week, though only 3 minutes on one of those day and less than 10 minutes otherwise.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things four days last week.

 

This is the thirty-sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

What it means to Cross the Bridges – Different Aspects of My Writing

I love writing.

I have been writing since I was 9 years old.  Wildfire was sci-fi, 50 hand-written pages long and illustrated by yours truly.  The basic premise: the grown-ups of the world allowed this mad scientist to create robots, who took over everything for everyone.  The adults got fat and lazy, the kids got distraught over this so they rebelled, stole a bunch of military hardware, created a base in the walls of the Grand Canyon, and in time wiped out all the robots and all the adults and were left to their own devices to rebuild the world.

Very few people have seen this, because I wonder what a child psychologist would have had to say about a nine-year-old killing off all the adults?  Also, the illustrations are just awful – my profile views have no noses.  Really.  Oh, and the heads of the robots were modelled off of Commodore PET computers.

From there I wrote a few other stories, like my first typed sci-fi story, The Secret Computer World.  Inspired by Tron, much?  I think so.

From there I wrote a few more things along the way.  But in college I mostly stopped writing.  I have a few scattered bits and pieces, but nothing whole for about 6 years.

Then, in 1998, I began what would evolve into The Source Chronicles.  Since then, I have churned out the first three novels in that series (I am currently working on editing book 3, Harbinger), two Steampunk novels in the Vapor Rogues series, and am currently working on the 4th book in The Source Chronicles, Guardians, and an un-named space opera.

I began this blog back in 2010, but didn’t begin to give it direction until my New Years’ Action for 2012, and the start of Pathwalking.  Since then, it has evolved over the past five-and-a-half years into a more intentional, more focused blog.

Writing in a Different Direction

Back in 2005, I discovered National Novel Writer’s Mo nth (NaNoWriMo), and fell in love with the idea of creating a 50,000 word novelette in 30 days.  My first year’s attempt crashed before I reached half-way, but in 2006 I was encouraged to tell a different story than my norm.

The reason this blog is called The Ramblings of the Titanium Don is due to the car accident I was in on November 30th, 1999.  I was a pedestrian, and I was struck by a car while crossing a relatively busy street.  Part of the damage to my body from that accident was a shattered clavicle, which was repaired using three titanium plates.  As such, I am now made partially of titanium.  Also, in the SCA, I am a Don.  Hence – The Titanium Don.

The story of that accident, as well as my recovery and the next couple of years, is full of unbelievable but completely true happenings.  In hindsight, a great deal of it is actually rather funny.  During a conversation in the parking lot after a fencing practice, I was encouraged to tell this story with my own brand of humor, and use that to participate in NaNoWriMo.

Writing from a Different Perspective

Unlike the vast majority of my non-blog writing, I wrote the novelette in first person.  At the end of November 2006, The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office was completed.

I have been loathe to share this tale for a number of reasons.  First – due to many acts on my part in that time, I look like a total ass.  Second – there is some embarrassment around many of the things that occurred then.  Third – despite changing the names of everyone involved, I still worry about offending certain people.  Fourth – this is probably the most personal thing I have ever written, even with the changes to names and certain places within.

Yet those who have read this story have told me it should be shared.  Many have told me it’s one of the best things I have ever written.  As part of my desire to become a best-selling author, even though this is a bridge apart from everything else I write – I am preparing The Journey of a Thousand Miles… for publication.

Talk the Talk, Write the Words, Cross the Bridges

Writing is my passion.  I have said before that I don’t care if I am working on this blog; working on sci-fi and fantasy or Steampunk; writing press-releases or proposals or copy for businesses; I want to be writing because that’s my love.  I lay myself pretty bare in this particular tale, but one of the new directions in my life I am working with is letting go of my fear of success, or failure, and ultimate fear of abandonment from either – and embrace making some much-desired changes.

This is not just writing about crossing bridges, this is stepping up to the span and beginning across.  This is actually, factually taking an intentional action to move forward as I most desire.  It is, without a doubt, both scary and exciting.

Keep watching this space as I take the next steps.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 21:

Diet:  I am doing well with the lower carb, lower sugar diet overall.

Exercise:  I fenced Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, hit the gym Monday and Wednesday.  Walked a lap around the small lake near work Tuesday.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on editing Journey of a Thousand Miles on five days.

Meditation:  Every day over the last week, never less than 8 minutes a day (generally 10 minutes or more).

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things every day last week.

 

This is the thirty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Crossing the Bridges: The Why of my Blog

Why do I blog?

Recently, a webinar I viewed took me to an unexpected place, and I began a course to learn new ways to earn money as a blogger.  I mean, this is something I love rather a lot, so why shouldn’t I be earning a living doing this?

One of the questions the instructor posed is, Why do you blog?  This is an interesting question, and the answer to it caused me to realize that this whole blog is unified, despite three regular, separate topics.

More than five years ago, as a New Year’s Action, I started Pathwalking.  I got this idea for figuring out how I was going to choose my own destiny in life, and start to walk my own path.  Despite not fully accomplishing my goal thus far, Pathwalking has taken me a long ways.  I have gotten better at choosing for myself, and over the past five years my life has taken many dramatic and positive changes.  I am constantly improving upon the premise, which is why I continue to post to Pathwalking weekly.

One Monday morning, about three-and-a-quarter years ago, I encountered a barrage of extreme negativity across Facebook and Twitter and G+, my primary social media outlets.  It was like absolutely everyone I knew was either having a lousy day or expecting to.  I decided that I needed to share something positive, and thus was Positivity born.

Every week I find something positive to write about.  Frequently it’s an abstract concept, but I believe that more often than not these intangibles are the most powerful things to build and sustain positivity.

While I was getting coaching at the start of this year, I decided I needed a third post.  This one would be less in the abstract, and more direct, more personal.  While both Positivity and Pathwalking serve me, they are also broader, more wide-ranging concepts.  Crossing the Bridges, on the other hand, is much more personal.  This is not just the journey in a general sense, this is MY specific journey, MY pathwalk.

Even when I occasionally post about my writing projects or topical, political rants, I am still working on the same concept, the same overall notion.  The Ramblings of The Titanium Don is not just some random, mishmash of ideas and writing, it is, as the new tagline states, exploration of conscious reality creation and other matters.

I frequently state that Consciousness Creates Reality.  This is not an original phrase of mine, my best friend Kristin said it to me years and years ago.  Yet it is, I believe, the truth of how the Universe works, that we can manifest our own destinies, and we can do, have or be pretty much anything we believe we can be.

No, you cannot necessarily become an astronaut if you have neither a science nor military background.  Of course, if you make enough money you could buy a seat on a future Virgin Galactic flight, and viola, you’re an astronaut.  The point to this is that most, if not all of our limitations are wholly in our own minds.

My blog is an exploration of doing more to live the fullest, most interesting life possible.  Both for me, and I hope for you.  The thing is, none of us are alone.  Ever.  We get lonely, we may be sitting in a solitary place without anyone near, but we are still not truly alone.  Despite its ability to disconnect us, the internet and social media and smartphones and their ilk can also be empowering.

One thing I have come to believe is that society strives to disempower us.  When we were children, this was in many ways for our own good.  We needed the education, support and boundaries our parents and teachers set for us, in order to understand how to learn, to grow and change, and to know right from wrong.  Unfortunately, when we reach the point where we should be learning to empower ourselves, society places additional limiting beliefs on who we are, and who we can and should become.

Society expects us to get some form of post-secondary education, or learn a vocation, or just get a job.  We find that if we want to explore the world or follow a band on tour or even start our own business we’ll encounter many, often well-meaning people suggesting that we conform to the norm.

If we do go ahead and conform, we will be inundated with people attempting to disempower us.  Politicians exerting control, religious leaders condemning alternative viewpoints, bosses and even family members working to force our paths to what they think is best of us.  This is why I believe that society at large strives to disempower us.

Why?  Because if we empower ourselves, we won’t need many of the trappings of our society.  We will become more capable of not just coping, but creating bigger and better lives for ourselves.  When more of us are at work doing that, we can and will inspire others to become so empowered.  I believe that we can change the status quo, and consciously create a better reality for everyone.

That is why I blog.  I am working on empowering myself.  As I become more empowered, I want to inspire YOU to become self-empowered, rather than perpetuating our societal disempowerment.  When more of us become aware, and consciously work on creating reality, I am absolutely certain the world we can create together will be amazing beyond our wildest dreams.

Consciousness Creates Reality, and I want to create the best possible reality I can, and help you do that, too.  I have a lot of new work to do.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

Also – please check out my new about page.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 20:

Diet:  I believe that I am doing pretty well with the lower carb, lower sugar diet overall.

Exercise:  I fenced Tuesday and Thursday, hit the gym Monday-Wednesday.  Walked a lap around the small lake near work Mon, Tuesday and Thursday.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on editing Journey of a Thousand Miles on four days.

Meditation:  Every day over the last week, never less than 8 minutes a day.

Gratitude:  I have expressed gratitude for 5 things every day last week.

 

This is the thirty-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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