The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Category: Pathwalking (Page 1 of 31)

How Does Self-Doubt Impact You?

Self-doubt and indecision will complicate Pathwalking.

I strive to be less doubtful about who I am, and to do better with making decisions about my life.  Pathwalking is about choosing for myself, rather than letting random chance just happen.

Yet I still question if I am deserving of this.  I doubt myself, my abilities to do the things I want to do.  This in turn can make me indecisive, and I get stuck in uncertainty.

Self-doubt comes from many places.  Perceived failures, discipline or lack thereof, wrong choices, disproven beliefs, mistakes, miscommunication, and a lack of outside validation.  It is unfortunately easy to blame those outside forces for causing self-doubt, but this is totally an inside job.

If I am doubting myself, then it’s all on me.  The only person inside my head is me.  Nobody else can think for me, unless I give up my free will and let them.

As if that’s not enough of a complication, focusing on the things that I am doubting about myself draws more things.  The self-talk in my head is too negative, and as such not very productive.  I berate myself, see my flaws, get upset with mistakes and missteps and perceived failures too easily.

This complicates Pathwalking, because I get focused on things I don’t want for myself, and then of course that will create more of those.  I get more doubtful, and then get frustrated when I am unproductive, and become distracted because I can’t focus.

Self-doubt is a liar.

This is a hard truth to accept.  Your self-doubt is a lie.  It is that nagging voice in your head telling you that you are unacceptable.  This is the voice saying you are worthless.  It’s the brain weasels running around aimlessly, probably giving you a headache.

When we believe the worst of ourselves, we don’t feel terribly good.  This is where depression is born, and the lying black wolf will make us indecisive about all kinds of things.  You start to question decisions, ideas, plans and goals when you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt may be a wholly internal matter, however its cause can be rooted in outside forces and influences.  When you do not receive validation, whatever form that may take, it can be disheartening.  If you are not recognized for your skills and contributions, you may begin to question your value and worth.

This gets even more complicated when the outside forces are loved ones.  If your own family makes you question your value and worth, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.  When your friends tell you things “for your own good” that might upset you, this too can make you doubtful.  That’s particularly rough when they are questioning your choices, and causing you to question them in turn.

Self-doubt can lead to indecision.

When you doubt yourself, you start to doubt your choices.  You begin to wonder if you are making good choices, or bad choices.  As such, this can lead you to either not make a choice, or to be particularly indecisive.

I have spent a great deal of my life in indecision.  Rather than choose wrong, I either didn’t choose at all, or hmmmed and hawed until I either had no choices remaining, or only one choice available.  I didn’t choose to pursue professional radio after college because I doubted I would be able to build a similar life to that which I had in Podunk, Middle America.  No pursuit of a professional theatre career was every truly initiated by me, because there is huge amounts of uncertainty when it comes to theatre and success.  I didn’t put my focus into turning my writing into a career in my twenties because I listened to those who said that it didn’t pay.

The indecision of my twenties and thirties was fueled by my self-doubt, and unsurprisingly my self-doubt was fueled by my indecision.  Because I spent nearly two decades constantly doubting myself and being indecisive, I did not find financial, career, or relationship successes.  I came to believe that I was a failure, and that I didn’t deserve to succeed because of my mistakes along the way.

I began to believe my own doubts were true.  Maybe I was a failure, maybe I was unworthy of respect.  How could I turn this around and change the dialogue?

Turn self-doubt into self-worth.

I have begun to see now that I am a worthwhile individual.  I contribute to the world around me, helping friends and family and even strangers when I can.  There is worth in what I do, and rather than get hung up on long-term and overarching success, I need to see success in the small things in life.

Often this is still easier said than done.  I am currently striking out on my own to find freelance writing jobs and take my existing work to the next level.  With my desire to be a bestselling author, I am working on finding ways to increase sales of my work, and get myself out there.

Now I have the opportunity to live what I have been writing about for almost six years.  Pathwalking is choosing my own destiny, making choices and deciding to have the life I most want.

Self-doubt is a saboteur.  I know that some days I am going to feel like I am not able to do this, and that I lack the discipline.  I allow those who mean well but say upsetting things to get inside my head; negative news well outside my control impacts my thoughts.  This needs to be acknowledged because it is there, and unavoidable.  But, once I have done that, I need to them proceed to let it go.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.  I need to be bold, make decisions, and not let my self-doubt interfere with the paths I am walking.

What do you do when faced with self-doubt and indecision?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Do I Give My Intention Attention?

Do I have enough intention and desire to go where I truly want to go?

That’s the question I am trying to answer currently.  As I am walking my chosen path, I have to examine if I have sufficient conviction.

Why is that important?  Because if I do not put enough thought, feeling and intentional action into this, I will remain stationary.  I have to give this more than just lip-service in order to achieve my goals.

It is my belief that I can manifest what I want from my life.  I have done it before, as I have stated in many previous posts.  The main issue is focus.  If I do not focus my attention on my intention, I will move at a snail’s pace, if at all.

I have gotten really good at seeing the path I want to take, envisioning the conclusion, and then beginning my trek.  Except then, as I start along my journey, I get distracted, or I spread out my focus, or I don’t give enough time and effort as I should into making the desired thing happen.

A perfect example – my business idea.  Several years ago I started Off the Compass Solutions, which I set-up as small-business consulting.  I leveraged my IT knowledge, writing skills and general office capabilities as a business.

Rather than focus on one specialty, I multitasked across several fields.  Because my attention was divided, my intention was unclear…and my business barely twitched and went nowhere.

Give your intention attention.

One of the biggest obstacles to Pathwalking I have encountered along the way is my own indecision.  I have often been wishy-washy about my desires, I have split up my focus, and I haven’t always given my 100% attention to…well…anything.

I pride myself professionally on my ability to multitask.  Hell, on more than one occasion it has been the necessity to switch roles at a given job that has kept that job interesting for me.  I sometimes have a short attention span, which is not helpful to conscious reality creation.

In addition to my sometimes insufficient attention span, my fear of failure and equal fear of success often prove able saboteurs.  So many times I have decided to not decide, or made a very soft and ineffectual decision.  This has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve encountered.

I recognize my issue here.  I see that I need to give my intention more attention.  The challenge before me is how to do that.

Logically, I understand what I need to do.  I look at how I have manifested my desires before.  The trouble I encounter, though, is maintaining my focus.  Shutting out the distractions and the doubts and making this thing happen.

Thought is intention.

I have several ideas for the path I most want to walk.  This has usually been my experience.  Choosing only one at a time has frequently been a challenge.  What if I choose wrong?  Then, what if I put all my energy into this one thing, and I fail?  What if I give this my all and I succeed?  Then, what if I screw it all up somehow?

Because of that reaction, I split my attention.  I have a back-up plan, I have an alternative path to choose when and if this one becomes unnavigable.  I have another idea I can try, and I am always considering the alternatives.

Talk about divided attention.  Is it any wonder I struggle with this like I do?  Because my intention is fragmented, I find myself facing the same issues over and over.

What am I ultimately afraid of?  Disappointment.  If I fail/if I succeed, I might disappoint people, myself included.  Abandonment.  If I fail/if I succeed, I might be abandoned by those who love me.  Ultimately, it’s a fear of the unknown and not being entirely willing to accept it and still act.

I want to walk my own path in life because I don’t just want to exist, I want to experience life.  I want to learn new things, have interesting experiences, and ultimately be happy.  Further, I want to share that with others, which is part of why I write about my work on conscious reality creation.  I don’t want to continue to work meaningless jobs, wasting most of my day…I want to be, have, and do more than that.

Intention requires action.

When I was healing from my injuries, I gave my entire attention to the process.  There was never an alternative.  I would heal, completely, no question.  Every step of the way, through therapy and recovery, the only outcome I saw was complete healing.  My intention got my whole attention, and it worked.  If I don’t show you my scars or tell you about it, you would never know the extent of the damage to my body.

I intend to earn my living as a writer.  I want to write these blogs, my novels, and perhaps television and movies.  It would be completely acceptable to work on freelance copywriting, copyediting, web content and SEO writing.    I am a writer, and I intend to put my energy into writing.

The biggest obstacle to this path is my attention.  I need to stop distracting myself with thoughts of inadequacy.  My fears need to be acknowledged, but not allowed to rule me and my actions.  I need to hyper-focus on seeing myself as a successful writer, no matter what genre I work in.  It’s important that I see this as the only possible outcome.

No contingencies, no back-up plans.  I can have other paths in mind, but I cannot walk more than one path at a time…nobody can.  I need to focus my attention on this intention.  From there, I believe I can consciously create reality, and manifest the life I most desire.

Do your intentions get your attention?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How is Pathwalking a Challenge?

I have a lot on my mind right now, and choosing a topic has been an interesting challenge.

I have been presented with the opportunity to well and truly walk my path.  This has put me in a position where I can work on setting the schedule I desire, make the use of my time I most want to.  Further, this has afforded me a chance to work on building the destiny I most want from my life.

While I am working on this, however, I am still aware of the world around me.  It is difficult sometimes to work on my own desires when I see what is happening out there.

While we can control our emotional state more readily than we usually acknowledge, it is still a challenge to do so.  There are competing feelings along the way, some of which serve and some definitely do not.

The issue here is reconciling who I am, versus who I was, versus who I want to be.  A great deal of this can be quantified with a more keen awareness of here-and-now.  Yet that presents its own challenges.

How do I create the life I most desire without neglecting responsibilities, and while working to have a positive impact on the world around me?  How do I change my mindset so that the bad feelings don’t overcome the good?

Challenges both personal and impersonal.

I have been effected by what is going on in the United States these past several months.  A Congress which cares only for their special interests; a greedy, narcissistic, clearly unstable man-child holding the Presidency.  Additionally, there are resurgent hate-groups rallying in public, threatening myself and my loved ones out of fear and anger.   I am striving to not let this inundate me, but I cannot ignore it either.

Finding a happy-medium and striking a balance between needing to know what is going on and being overwhelmed with information about it all is challenging.  Then, just to make it that much harder, living in a fear-based society where our media has to be scrutinized for bias and partisanship can be truly distressing.

Amidst all of that, I am working on creating the reality I most desire for myself.  What I want to do is non-conventional.  Thus it comes with a degree of guilt and even shame because I know so many people who believe this is not how it works.

How do I reconcile these seemingly opposed matters?  That’s the question before me today, so please bear with me as I walk through it.

Challenge Accepted.

First and foremost, I think I need to consume less media.  I want to be aware of what is going on out there, but I need to not drown myself in it.  There is just so much information.  Then there’s a metric ton of anger, fear, hate, loathing, deep concern, and all sorts of additional negative feelings attached to it.  I’m already avoiding watching any news networks.  I think I need to spend less time in my Twitter feed and online overall.

However, I still need and want to support those resisting this.  I am pro-equality, in every single form that takes.  A supporter of equal rights, pay, and equal treatment under the law, I need to continue to do all I can to show that support.

One critical aspect of this, however, boils down to my mental and emotional health.  By walking my own path and creating the life I most desire, I am setting myself up to be more effective to those causes.

Mental health is an inside job.

In addition to our society being fear-based, we also are terrific at passing the buck, placing blame, and taking little to no accountability for anything.  The message we are constantly presented with is that someone else is wrong, it is another’s fault, and so-and-so is blameless in ‘x’ matter.

This winds up getting applied to feelings as well.  You made me feel angry; that made me feel bad; they hurt me; you made me feel unimportant and the like get tossed about too easily.  Certainly other people and events can cause us to feel a certain way, but we are the only ones who can feel it.

We get to choose, when something makes us feel bad, how long to hold onto that.  Do you want to wallow in it, or acknowledge it, react to it, then let it go?  This is entirely within our individual power to affect.

As such, creating the life I most want to live will grow my positive feelings.  I have spent a lot of time working at jobs where I was not capable of living up to my full potential for any number of reasons.  I have spent a long time in that position because of a combination of choices, not choosing, and feelings of inadequacy or disillusionment or fear of success and failure.

Now I have reached the point in my life where I believe that I CAN have what I want, that I am able to do this thing which will ultimately make me happy, and financially secure, and stable.

Belief is the challenge.

Because I am facing conflicting emotions as I am beginning to walk my desired path, I am encountering difficulties in maintaining it.  I set a schedule for my “perfect” weekday, setting aside time to work, to read, to exercise, to make this happen.  Yet because I have some guilt about this, because it is unconventional, there is a slight undercurrent of doubt I am contending with.  This is making it harder to manifest what I want, and to take this to the next level where I can make a living doing this.

What I am currently reading speaks a lot to interrupting patterns and changing the language applied to my thoughts.  The greatest challenge I have right now is believing that I am capable of changing the message, creating the focus I need to feel the life I want to have into existence.  I cannot ignore the feelings of doubt, but I can choose if I will let them dictate my actions, or if I can change them to something more productive.

What challenges are you working with today?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

How Do We Resist Hate and Fear?

Hate is never the answer.

We are all different.  You and I are not the same.  Even though we might have some similarities, we are still different.  We are individuals.  That means that each and every one of us is unique.

Yet, at the same time, we are all one.  Every single one of us, at our core, is just a being of light and energy.

We live in a fear-based society.  Recognizing this, we have to work extra hard to not be overwhelmed by fear.  Yoda put it rather well when he said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

The neo-Nazis, the so-called “alt-right”, the white supremacists, the KKK and all those groups are equal parts fear and hate.  They fear losing their identities, losing the power they believe they have, and they are afraid of change.  This leads to anger, which gets redirected as hatred for minorities, Jews and Muslims, women…take your pick.

I am in no way defending the actions of these people, but I do think we need to consider perspective.  To understand what others believe helps us find tools to combat their hate and fear.  We can be more capable when we stand up to them, and show them that their fear and hate do not empower them as they would believe.

Our society is suffering from deep fractures many do not recognize.  In the US, our government is a complete mess; many cannot tell the difference between propaganda and legitimate news and information; and the divide between the haves and the have-nots has grown almost exponentially.  Extremists have come to power, and they see only in black-and-white, ignoring the majority at the center and working to force viewpoints to their way of thinking.

Pathwalking can combat hate.

Pathwalking is about choosing our own destiny, our own fate in this life.  Rather than let life live me, I am striving to take control over that which I can.  My thoughts are my own, my goals belong to only me, and I want to live an extraordinary life of peace and joy.  I want to empower myself.

Yet despite the individuality of my purpose, I also want to empower others.  I share this philosophy because I believe that we can all benefit from greater self-awareness.  By becoming empowered, we can build amazing things.

Fear, anger and hate are not empowering.  One of the greatest mistakes these groups make is that they believe they empower themselves with their venom.  The exact opposite is true, however.  In disempowering the groups they are afraid of and hateful towards, they actually are disempowering themselves.  That is why they are standing on the other side of history, and despite a resurgence of soft political support, they are truly a minority.

The challenge is not fighting hate with hate.  It’s really really easy to dislike these people and their views and their actions.  They are hurtful, they are hateful, and not to put too fine a point on it, they come across as evil.  We can overcome their message, we are the actual majority here, but they are loud, they are backed by money, and they spew messages that bring us all low.

The right kind of resistance is not futile.

I am not advocating for going totally flower-child hippy on this.  We need to demonstrate, we need to march, we need to stand together to resist this evil.  Different is not bad.  When you get right down to it, everything at its core is energy.

It does not matter if you are black, white, male, female, transgendered, gay, straight, bi, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheiest, American, Russian, Korean, or whatever other labels you care to apply…at our core WE ARE ALL ONE.  We think differently, we have different goals, we have different wants and needs.  Yet even with all our differences, we are all one, all of us are light and energy at our core.

Reconciling our free-will and individuality of thought with our sameness of being is why we need to empower ourselves, and one another.  When we are aware of ourselves, we can do more for the world at large.  Mob mentality, and organized groups of haters lack awareness, or I don’t think they’d be so quick to spew their rancor.

Observe the reaction when individuals from the Charlottesville marchers were called-out.  When identified as part of the mob, they felt themselves empowered.  But as soon as they were named and individualized and shamed, many changed their tune, and attempted to lessen their role in hate-mongering.  Suddenly they were disempowered…though in truth they were always disempowered.

Hate can be overcome.

We need to take our own empowerment, and use it to overcome the disempowered masses.  One of the best ways to do this is to work on empowering them.  When we can show them that their lives are not being overtaken by that which they fear and hate, we can begin to help them see how disempowered they truly are by their so-called leaders, teachers, demagogues and the like.

Resist meeting hate with hate.  Love is not necessarily the opposite of hate.  Kindness, respect, sympathy, and aid are among the antonyms of hate, and can be used to combat it.  The more we are aware, the more we can help bring awareness to others.  With greater awareness, we can build a better world, and overcome the fear.

Hate is never the answer.  What do you do to resist the fear and hatred in our society?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What is Intentional Action?

There is a difference between action and intentional action.

Action without intention can produce unintended results.  Further, it can hamper your conscious reality creation efforts.

The process of conscious reality creation is rather set.  Thought, feeling and action are linked together in this operation.  However, it is of vital importance that there be clarity, or else more likely you’ll find yourself wondering why you don’t seem to be getting where you want to go.

Thought is the easiest concept.  Everybody thinks (granted, some people don’t seem to think all that much).  Everyone develops concepts, ideas, intentions, notions and questions about life.  Thought is how everything starts, big or small, and no manifestation can begin without it.

This is why awareness is of so much import.  When you are not conscious of your thoughts, your subconscious is still thinking about things.  The subconscious will act upon a thought you lost track of, but never intended to make manifest.  Being aware of what you are thinking about is conscious reality creation, and intentional manifestation.

From thought there must be emotion.  If you do not feel anything into your thought, you will not give the thought enough power to be turned into anything but an idea.  That idea will gain no traction without thought.  Think of it this way…thought is the car, feeling is the fuel to make it go.

Again, it is good to be aware of your feelings in order to take the wheel from your subconscious.  When you read bad news, and start giving it a lot of thought and feeling, subconsciously you might create something you don’t actually want.  This is why awareness, or consciousness, is so valuable to building the life we most desire.

Action versus inaction.

You’ve had a thought, felt it out and given it power.  Now you need to take an intentional action.  If thought is the car, and feeling the gasoline, intentional action is putting the car in gear.  That’s the difference between action and intentional action.  Taking the action of putting your foot down on the gas pedal without putting the car in gear won’t move you at all.

By the same token, if you take no action, chances are you will also fail to move anywhere with your conscious reality creation.  However, considered and intentional action might require time before it happens.

We live in a society of go go go.  We want it NOW, we want it FAST.  Remember when your internet connection was dial-up, and it could take a few minutes to log in?  Nowadays, how do we feel when we aren’t instantly online?  We demand incredible speed, we want it blazingly fast, and it all has to happen as close to instantaneously as possible.

Time is an illusion.

Einstein told us that time is an illusion.  Yet we are obsessed with it, and we accept nothing less than immediate action.  But the Universe does not recognize human expectations of time.  It will move in its due course, sometimes as fast as we demand, but sometimes not.

The issue here is taking action for the sake of action.  We recognize that action is necessary, but rather than be intentional in how we act, we simply DO.  And then, when the result is not what we wanted, we become frustrated and wonder why we’re not manifesting what we set out to create.

Again, because our society tends to be reactionary, we frequently see action taken that is either insufficient to what it is addressing, half-assed, or otherwise less effective than wanted.  Demanding instant gratification will not always produce the desired effect.

What is the difference between action and intentional action?

Returning to the car analogy, if I stomp on the gas pedal without bothering to put the car in gear, the engine will rev and the exhaust might belch…but I won’t move where I want to.  If I put the car in gear and then step on the gas, now I am getting somewhere.  That’s intentional action versus action.

The action you take has a purpose.  There is intent, resolve, decision in that action.  It is not action for the sake of action, it is intended to take the thought and feeling and start moving it forward.  The thought and feeling can only begin the manifestation process.  To consciously create reality there must be action, too.

The biggest complication to this process is the how.  When we have that thought, and we know what we want to see our reality turn into, often we just do not see how it will come about.  Getting caught up in the how will invariably trip us up, and confuse this process.  Sometimes, in the process of working out the how, we take action because we think it will help.  However, if there is not intent behind that action…if we do not believe that this action is a must-have part of the conscious reality creation, it will not be helpful.

How does intentional action feel?

Any action taken in the process of conscious reality creation should feel good, it should feel right, it should almost feel effortless.  If it feels like a struggle, or a chore, or a complexity, it might not be what you need.  Fortunately, it’s not necessary to get this perfect to get it right.  Failure just provides us with another opportunity to succeed.

What intentional actions have you taken along your path?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Important is Communication to Pathwalking?

There needs to be communication.  Even an empath is not a mindreader.

Some people are better at reading people than others.  The definition of how one reads people, though, it rather broad.

Multiple factors go into reading people.  Some are surface, some more in depth.  On the surface there is body language, gestures, stances, facial expressions and other visual cues that will inform you as to what someone is thinking.

Reading someone’s emotional state is a lot trickier.  Some people “wear their heart on their sleeve”, and all of their emotions are expressed in an obvious, readable way.

Certain emotions are physically expressed so as not to be missed.  Screaming in anger or frustration, yelling at someone, crying, laughing, smiling, and similar such expressions convey emotion to anyone in range.

Some people do not share so easily.  Maybe it’s because they have been hurt, maybe because they prefer to keep their feelings to themselves…it really doesn’t matter.  They prefer to not show their emotional state, and that is something to be respected.

As an empath, I can still usually read someone’s emotions, even when they are not in any way obvious.  But reading emotions has limitations, and may not be appreciated.

Reading people’s emotions is no substitute for communication.

Communication is often taken for granted.  In particular with the people we get closest to.  We have our familiars, those whom we frequently share with and know and understand.  One of the intimate aspects of this is subtle, passive, frequently non-verbal tells.

It can become very easy to “know someone’s mind”, and to expect certain behaviors, actions, attitudes and emotions from them.  This is a particular matter with the people we are closest to.  We get comfortable with one another, and we get into a pattern and a flow and familiarity.

People change.  Pure and simple, everyone and everything changes.  Most change is slow, subtle, practically invisible.  But the nature of the universe is change.  Yet we are frequently resistant to change because it is the unknown, it can be scary, unfamiliar, and possibly uncomfortable.

Somewhere along the way much of our society began to view change as something bad.  We even have romanticized the notion of freezing time, holding everything in place so that perfection can be achieved.  Of course, perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and change is going to happen because that is how nature functions.

The caterpillar becomes a butterfly.  The dinosaurs became petroleum.  Children become adults.  The sun rises and sets.  All of this is incontrovertible, it is how the universe functions.  Without change, we could not grow, we would not learn, we would not be able to be more than we are.

No two people change in the same way.  We talk about growing together and growing apart; yet we never do these things in the same way.  Even twins learn and think differently, no matter how connected or telepathically linked-up they might be.

Direct Communication Is Important.

No matter how emotionally connected we become with people, it is still vitally important that we communicate with one another.  So many of the problems we encounter in this society, not to mention among our interpersonal relations, are due to a lack of communication.

As I am choosing the paths I wish to walk, I know that nobody else can see inside my head.  What I am thinking, the notions I am working on, the plans I am making are mine and mine alone.  I strive to grow, to change, to learn all the time, and I am working to embrace change.

Pathwalking is not just about embracing change.  It is about accepting and working on controlling change.  Rather than letting things just happen, you are working on making them happen.  You are seeking to consciously create reality, so that you can have the best, most amazing life possible.

This is going to change you.  Directed change, but change none-the-less.  As such, those who love you and whom you love might not understand this.  They might be confused, they might get upset with you, they might resist because you are changing, and they can feel it.

This is why communication is so, so important.  We need to share with our loved ones what we are doing, why we are doing it, and where our thought process is going.  Yes, we might meet well-intentioned resistance in the process, but that does not lessen the need for open, honest communication.

Conscious communications.

Even when we are not talking about Pathwalking, we need to be more conscious of what we share with those we care about.  Being aware does not just apply to ourselves, in particular when we have people we share this life with in whatever form that takes.  This is why communicating what we are doing and how we are changing with one another empowers everyone.

When we work to be better communicators, we become better at sharing who we are, as well as who we want to be.  Knowing those we care for as best we can will bring us closer, and that is always a good thing.

How do you communicate with those you care about?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How does Finding Good in Bad Things Make Life Better?

Even when things look really bleak, we can still find good in them.

We are living in interesting times, in many ways like the Chinese curse.  There are a lot of people who seem hell-bent on messing with social order, let alone taking away good things for people in the name of politics and money.

Yes, this is mostly a pretty terrible thing.  And yet, there has been good to have come of it.  People are taking more notice, taking more action, and striving to have their voices heard.  We are seeing effort participating in the dialogue, and maybe from there we will see positive change of it.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind.  If we focus on the bad, and we focus on anger, and the things that are negative out there, we will draw more of them to us.  That’s the way conscious reality creation works.  What you focus on, think about, feel about, and act on – you bring out more of.

It’s far too easy to get caught up in this madness.  What terrible thing did the President say or Tweet today?  How much further will Congress erode our democracy?  What is North Korea up to?  If we give this our attention, we energize it, and that will only amplify it, and draw more of it to us.

I know I don’t want that.  I can’t imagine anyone who does.

While it’s hard enough to not let national and international matters steal our attention, what do we do when we have more personal negativity to contend with?  What can we do to find good things in problems we are encountering on a more direct level?

Is there good to be found?

There is always something good to be found in bad things.  Flat tire on the way home from work?  Maybe that kept you from being part of a far worse accident.  Lost your job?  Perhaps it was not a great job for you, and now you can get something better.  Family member dying from cancer?  When they pass, they will no longer be suffering.

Jen Sincero, in You Are A Badass (I CANNOT recommend this book enough), writes about the notion of exploring unexpected and unwanted situations by stating, “This is good because” and taking it from there.  Certainly there will be times this is more of a struggle than other times, but that does not lessen its power to change how you are thinking and feeling.

I am in no way advocating for denial of bad feelings.  We are only human, we are going to have experiences that make us feel bad, and that we would rather not endure.  Everybody gets broken up with, loses a job, fails a test, gets injured, loses family and friends due to anything from disagreements to death.  We are going to have miserable experiences.  Full stop.  However, when this happens – if we dwell on them, keep our focus on them and let them dictate further emotions, we are more likely to gain more bad feelings similar to them.

Another issue with modern society is our tendency to not bother with accountability.  We love to blame, we love to pass the buck, we love to make excuses rather than take responsibility.  You hurt me and you made me feel this way and you make me so angry are all-too-common statements.  Without a doubt, other people can be the catalyst for our feelings, but only we can feel them for ourselves.

Focus on that which you can control.

I cannot do anything about what our government is doing, except to write letters, make phone calls, and vote in elections.  I can spread awareness about injustices, but if I am wholly focused on that negativity, I will only get angrier, frustrated, and draw more ways to feel angry, frustrated and negative overall.

The challenge is to be active, do something productive and constructive, but keep focus on that which you can directly effect.  I can share my own thoughts, try to persuade you to my way of thinking, but I cannot control how you will feel.  Period, end of story.  You, and you alone, feel what you feel, and the same applies to me.

That being written, it’s important to tighten our focus, and take an approach to work with the things we do have control over.  Our individual corners of the universe may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but they are the only aspects of life we have total control over.

Pathwalking is about finding and traversing our own ways in life.  This is not the simplest idea, and there are challenges and obstacles and curves along the way.  Yet rather than letting life happen around us, we are choosing to take charge, and be aware of those things we can control.

We have no control over anyone else’s life choices.  This is why it’s important to be more aware of our own lives, our own existence, and to focus on working with what we have to make the best of the lives we are living.

This is Good Because…

…we get to choose.  This is Good Because we can find almost any path we desire, and take the journey of our life upon it.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  I want to manifest the most joyful, amazing, fulfilling life I can.  I am not a slave to anyone else, I am not beholden to anyone but me when it comes to my feelings.

Yes, it is important to be aware of what’s going on out there.  We need to be aware of this world to participate in it.  But there is a line between being aware and being overwhelmed, and it is so, so easy to cross that line.

Be the best you that you can be.  Walk the path that makes you feel the most good, the most happy, the most accomplished that you can.   When you experience unpleasant, unwanted and negative things in life, choose to process them and let them go; or hold onto them and let them dominate your life, and draw more similar negatives to you.

We are far more powerful than many would want us to be believe.  We are all creators, and we are all capable of manifesting incredible things.  Try to keep that in mind the next time you despair.

What good can you find in bad things you are experiencing?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What is Well-Intentioned Resistance?

As you walk your chosen paths, you will meet well-intentioned resistance.

Well-intentioned resistance is when people give you news and information that is “for your own good” or to “tell it like it is” or to otherwise offer advice, in order to keep you from making “poor” choices.  This comes from those closest to you, and can be very disconcerting.

Society has certain norms and expectations of us.  We are supposed to go through the motions.  You work five days a week, at least eight hours a day.  Get a job that pays the most money you can make, and expect that it might be soul-sucking and lacking in fun.  Have a romantic partner, because you’re not supposed to be alone.  Get a college education. 

When you break from those expectations, those who are closest to you may not understand.  They think that because you are doing something different and possibly risky, you don’t recognize the dangers.  They may well believe in you, but they also are firmly rooted in that which is considered “normal”.  What you are doing is alien, unusual, and thus suspect.

Meeting well-intentioned resistance is deeply frustrating.

The challenge of finding and choosing your own path, and breaking away from the societal norm is difficult enough.  When your loved ones question your choices, and your actions, it adds a whole layer of difficulty you don’t need.  Working on being more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, then employing consciousness to create a new reality is huge.  Breaking from the expected is scary enough, but having other people add their fears to your work isn’t helpful.

Pathwalking is about taking control of life, choosing your own adventures.  When you come to terms with the notion that consciousness creates reality, it feels almost crazy.  Can it really be THAT easy to break away from a life that leaves me flat and build one that excites me?  Of course the answer is both yes and no, because becoming AWARE of how and what you are thinking, feeling and acting upon takes a lot of adjustment.

Adding outside influences to this mix is inevitable.  Unless you are completely alone in the world, or cut-off from news and social-media and whatnot, you will encounter outside influences.  It can be tough to avoid general outside influences, but it’s really hard to avoid loved ones, be they family or friends.

Don’t let the other people’s fear become your fear.

Because nobody but you can know what is in your head, explaining the path you are walking may feel futile.  Try though you might to show in detail how you are striving to manifest a life you want, some people simply won’t get it.  This is especially true when those people love you, and you love them, and they only want what they think is best for you.

This is one of the key issues, of course.  What THEY think is best for YOU.  How do they know?  How can they know?  Answer – they don’t.  But in their own experiences, what you are doing might seem unusual, might seem overly optimistic, might even seem crazy.  Because they don’t want you to be hurt, they offer you their own point-of-view, which is resistance to the change you are working to make.

It is human nature to protect those we love.  Whether that means standing between your child and a hungry lion, or trying to dissuade that child from an idea you don’t understand and fear might maul them in the same manner, it is viewed as protective, and a part of love.  Of course that makes it all-the-more insidious.

How do you accept that love without letting it affect you?

While our loved ones are throwing a wet blanket over our path in an attempt to stop us from being hurt, we, in turn, don’t want to hurt them.  Yet we generally won’t tell them to back off, or thanks but no thanks, or what-have-you.  Further, if they are the type to harp on a topic long enough, no matter how strong your psyche, it will wear you down and complicate the path you are walking.

What can you do about this?

First: Don’t take it in unless it REALLY resonates with you.  Sometimes, this outside perspective may show that you actually SHOULD step away from the path you are on.  Maybe the well-intentioned resistance opens a new path showing that which you are on won’t work.  However, once you’ve reached the point of meeting this resistance, this likely won’t be the case.

Second: Don’t argue.  It’s part of our nature to meet resistance with resistance.  This won’t dissuade the well-intentioned, they will take it as a sign that they are right.

Third: Don’t fully engage.  Thank them for their advice, but don’t really engage them to go further.  Change the topic.  Walk away.  Make an excuse to get off the phone or stop texting or whatever.

Fourth: Don’t discuss it with them in the future.  The people offering well-intentioned resistance have shown that they are not a good sounding board, so it might be best to steer clear of the topic as often as possible.

Fifth: Consult with a confidant for reassurance.  We are only human, and when our loved ones show that they don’t believe in our goals, well-intentioned or not, it hurts.  Talking with someone who supports your path can restore your confidence.

Keep walking your own path.

Pathwalking is a challenge.  However, I believe that manifesting the life I most desire, and being happy in what I do and how I spend my days is more important than going with the flow and being discontent.  This is why I am striving to choose for myself, and walk the best path for me that I can.

Have you met well-intentioned resistance along the way?

 

This is the two-hundred ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What Did You Learn Today?

You learn something new every day.

This is not just some cliché phrase, it’s literally true.  Some things we learn are huge and life changing, but most are minute and easy to overlook.

One of the greatest joys of life is that there is always something new to be learned.  Because there is always something new to learn, virtually no situation is impossible or irreparable.  We simply may be lacking in the necessary knowledge.

Learning is often tied in with change.  As we learn new things, we change our opinions, we change our technologies, our lives shift.  It is as inevitable as change itself, so it’s no surprise learning and change are linked.

One of the oddest things about people is our paradoxical resistance to change and desire to change.  We get comfortable with the world as it is, and dislike change.  Yet, at exactly the same time, we want to be happier, healthier, more centered, and that is a product of change.

Controlled change versus uncontrolled change.

While this is not a black and white, either/or concept, change generally happens in these two forms.  Controlled change, when we make choices like new jobs, new diets, new relationships and such.  Uncontrolled change is not in our hands, involves things like natural disasters, being dumped by a lover, getting fired from our jobs, breaking bones and being unable to exercise, and so forth.

Most people seek changes in their lives.  Some huge, some small, some subtle and some drastic.  In order to make changes, we usually have to learn something.  Examples of this include new dietary techniques, new job skills, new exercise routines, etc.

I suspect that because change can be so scary, and change is tied to learning, that this is where the current anti-intellectualism streak we’re seeing comes from.  All these new ideas we have available to us signify change, and people fearing change resist.  This partially explains science deniers, because science is all about learning and learning leads to change.

This is where choice is important.  When we choose to change, we increase our knowledge and learn more.  When we resist it, we still learn something, but it might not be the lesson we think it is.

Knowing can be a dangerous thing.

Knowledge is power.  The more we know, the more tools we have available to us.  One of my first self-help/spiritual reads was Shunryu Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.  While it’s an excellent introduction to Zen practices, it also makes some interesting statements about learning and knowledge.  For example, “We should not hoard knowledge; we should be free from our knowledge.”  This might be open to interpretation, but I view it this way: what we know is not set in stone, we should always be open to knowing more.

We live in a society where people mistake demagogues for the wise.  The “knowledge” they impart has no basis in fact, but they claim to “know” things.  While I do not like to get political in this blog, the perfect example is climate change.  Science has shown us that mankind is effecting climate change in an unnatural way, but many of our leaders prefer to ignore science for their own “beliefs” on the topic.  They “know” better.

While I know a lot of things, most, if not all, are open to reexamination.  Because there are new things to learn, what I know today is probably going to be different from what I will know tomorrow.

Recognizing that knowing is ever-changing is a part of learning.  When we recognize this, we can choose to learn things in order to take control of change.

Wisdom is learning, not knowing.

The use of the words “I know” frequently close us off from change.  In especial when we take them as truth from outside influences without giving them a thorough examination.  The primary notion of Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind is that the “beginner” is always learning.  We gain experience, we gain knowledge, but so long as we keep our minds open like the beginner, we continue to learn and grow.  The wisdom of Zen practice is knowing that there is plenty you don’t know.

Stating “I know” with absolute certainty when it comes to self-actualization can be empowering, however.  Statements of this nature include I know I am amazing and I know I am the conscious creator of my reality and I know I am worthwhile and I know I am loving and lovable and such.  This is not conceit, its self-awareness.   Saying “I know” in this context is a matter of defining the self in positive, generative terms.

It has been long argued that human beings use only a fraction of our mental capabilities.  True or not, we can still conceive of and create amazing, incredible things that we have not created before.  Ergo, new learnings.  Only a hundred years ago global communications, computer technology, transatlantic flight and other modern conveniences were almost unimaginable.  But here we are, a century later, and look what all we have learned?  Science fiction postulates faster-than-light interstellar travel and other fantastical notions; but who’s to say we won’t learn these things in time?

Learning is joy.

I love to learn new things.  I also love to share the things I have learned with others.  This is why I write these posts, this is why I teach fencing, this is why I read self-help and spiritual books.  I love to learn, and there is always something new to be discovered and revealed and shared.

The world is pretty big.  The solar system is bigger.  Larger still is the galaxy.  On the same scale, the Universe is nearly infinite.  Great or small, there is always something new to learn, always experiences to be had.  Pathwalking is choosing to learn, to grow, to effect change for ourselves.

Every single day I learn something new.  This is what excites me most about life.  Everything new I learn opens up possibilities.  Consciousness creates reality, so there is always learning to be had.

What did you learn today?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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