The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Category: Pathwalking (Page 1 of 30)

How does Finding Good in Bad Things Make Life Better?

Even when things look really bleak, we can still find good in them.

We are living in interesting times, in many ways like the Chinese curse.  There are a lot of people who seem hell-bent on messing with social order, let alone taking away good things for people in the name of politics and money.

Yes, this is mostly a pretty terrible thing.  And yet, there has been good to have come of it.  People are taking more notice, taking more action, and striving to have their voices heard.  We are seeing effort participating in the dialogue, and maybe from there we will see positive change of it.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind.  If we focus on the bad, and we focus on anger, and the things that are negative out there, we will draw more of them to us.  That’s the way conscious reality creation works.  What you focus on, think about, feel about, and act on – you bring out more of.

It’s far too easy to get caught up in this madness.  What terrible thing did the President say or Tweet today?  How much further will Congress erode our democracy?  What is North Korea up to?  If we give this our attention, we energize it, and that will only amplify it, and draw more of it to us.

I know I don’t want that.  I can’t imagine anyone who does.

While it’s hard enough to not let national and international matters steal our attention, what do we do when we have more personal negativity to contend with?  What can we do to find good things in problems we are encountering on a more direct level?

Is there good to be found?

There is always something good to be found in bad things.  Flat tire on the way home from work?  Maybe that kept you from being part of a far worse accident.  Lost your job?  Perhaps it was not a great job for you, and now you can get something better.  Family member dying from cancer?  When they pass, they will no longer be suffering.

Jen Sincero, in You Are A Badass (I CANNOT recommend this book enough), writes about the notion of exploring unexpected and unwanted situations by stating, “This is good because” and taking it from there.  Certainly there will be times this is more of a struggle than other times, but that does not lessen its power to change how you are thinking and feeling.

I am in no way advocating for denial of bad feelings.  We are only human, we are going to have experiences that make us feel bad, and that we would rather not endure.  Everybody gets broken up with, loses a job, fails a test, gets injured, loses family and friends due to anything from disagreements to death.  We are going to have miserable experiences.  Full stop.  However, when this happens – if we dwell on them, keep our focus on them and let them dictate further emotions, we are more likely to gain more bad feelings similar to them.

Another issue with modern society is our tendency to not bother with accountability.  We love to blame, we love to pass the buck, we love to make excuses rather than take responsibility.  You hurt me and you made me feel this way and you make me so angry are all-too-common statements.  Without a doubt, other people can be the catalyst for our feelings, but only we can feel them for ourselves.

Focus on that which you can control.

I cannot do anything about what our government is doing, except to write letters, make phone calls, and vote in elections.  I can spread awareness about injustices, but if I am wholly focused on that negativity, I will only get angrier, frustrated, and draw more ways to feel angry, frustrated and negative overall.

The challenge is to be active, do something productive and constructive, but keep focus on that which you can directly effect.  I can share my own thoughts, try to persuade you to my way of thinking, but I cannot control how you will feel.  Period, end of story.  You, and you alone, feel what you feel, and the same applies to me.

That being written, it’s important to tighten our focus, and take an approach to work with the things we do have control over.  Our individual corners of the universe may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but they are the only aspects of life we have total control over.

Pathwalking is about finding and traversing our own ways in life.  This is not the simplest idea, and there are challenges and obstacles and curves along the way.  Yet rather than letting life happen around us, we are choosing to take charge, and be aware of those things we can control.

We have no control over anyone else’s life choices.  This is why it’s important to be more aware of our own lives, our own existence, and to focus on working with what we have to make the best of the lives we are living.

This is Good Because…

…we get to choose.  This is Good Because we can find almost any path we desire, and take the journey of our life upon it.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  I want to manifest the most joyful, amazing, fulfilling life I can.  I am not a slave to anyone else, I am not beholden to anyone but me when it comes to my feelings.

Yes, it is important to be aware of what’s going on out there.  We need to be aware of this world to participate in it.  But there is a line between being aware and being overwhelmed, and it is so, so easy to cross that line.

Be the best you that you can be.  Walk the path that makes you feel the most good, the most happy, the most accomplished that you can.   When you experience unpleasant, unwanted and negative things in life, choose to process them and let them go; or hold onto them and let them dominate your life, and draw more similar negatives to you.

We are far more powerful than many would want us to be believe.  We are all creators, and we are all capable of manifesting incredible things.  Try to keep that in mind the next time you despair.

What good can you find in bad things you are experiencing?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What is Well-Intentioned Resistance?

As you walk your chosen paths, you will meet well-intentioned resistance.

Well-intentioned resistance is when people give you news and information that is “for your own good” or to “tell it like it is” or to otherwise offer advice, in order to keep you from making “poor” choices.  This comes from those closest to you, and can be very disconcerting.

Society has certain norms and expectations of us.  We are supposed to go through the motions.  You work five days a week, at least eight hours a day.  Get a job that pays the most money you can make, and expect that it might be soul-sucking and lacking in fun.  Have a romantic partner, because you’re not supposed to be alone.  Get a college education. 

When you break from those expectations, those who are closest to you may not understand.  They think that because you are doing something different and possibly risky, you don’t recognize the dangers.  They may well believe in you, but they also are firmly rooted in that which is considered “normal”.  What you are doing is alien, unusual, and thus suspect.

Meeting well-intentioned resistance is deeply frustrating.

The challenge of finding and choosing your own path, and breaking away from the societal norm is difficult enough.  When your loved ones question your choices, and your actions, it adds a whole layer of difficulty you don’t need.  Working on being more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, then employing consciousness to create a new reality is huge.  Breaking from the expected is scary enough, but having other people add their fears to your work isn’t helpful.

Pathwalking is about taking control of life, choosing your own adventures.  When you come to terms with the notion that consciousness creates reality, it feels almost crazy.  Can it really be THAT easy to break away from a life that leaves me flat and build one that excites me?  Of course the answer is both yes and no, because becoming AWARE of how and what you are thinking, feeling and acting upon takes a lot of adjustment.

Adding outside influences to this mix is inevitable.  Unless you are completely alone in the world, or cut-off from news and social-media and whatnot, you will encounter outside influences.  It can be tough to avoid general outside influences, but it’s really hard to avoid loved ones, be they family or friends.

Don’t let the other people’s fear become your fear.

Because nobody but you can know what is in your head, explaining the path you are walking may feel futile.  Try though you might to show in detail how you are striving to manifest a life you want, some people simply won’t get it.  This is especially true when those people love you, and you love them, and they only want what they think is best for you.

This is one of the key issues, of course.  What THEY think is best for YOU.  How do they know?  How can they know?  Answer – they don’t.  But in their own experiences, what you are doing might seem unusual, might seem overly optimistic, might even seem crazy.  Because they don’t want you to be hurt, they offer you their own point-of-view, which is resistance to the change you are working to make.

It is human nature to protect those we love.  Whether that means standing between your child and a hungry lion, or trying to dissuade that child from an idea you don’t understand and fear might maul them in the same manner, it is viewed as protective, and a part of love.  Of course that makes it all-the-more insidious.

How do you accept that love without letting it affect you?

While our loved ones are throwing a wet blanket over our path in an attempt to stop us from being hurt, we, in turn, don’t want to hurt them.  Yet we generally won’t tell them to back off, or thanks but no thanks, or what-have-you.  Further, if they are the type to harp on a topic long enough, no matter how strong your psyche, it will wear you down and complicate the path you are walking.

What can you do about this?

First: Don’t take it in unless it REALLY resonates with you.  Sometimes, this outside perspective may show that you actually SHOULD step away from the path you are on.  Maybe the well-intentioned resistance opens a new path showing that which you are on won’t work.  However, once you’ve reached the point of meeting this resistance, this likely won’t be the case.

Second: Don’t argue.  It’s part of our nature to meet resistance with resistance.  This won’t dissuade the well-intentioned, they will take it as a sign that they are right.

Third: Don’t fully engage.  Thank them for their advice, but don’t really engage them to go further.  Change the topic.  Walk away.  Make an excuse to get off the phone or stop texting or whatever.

Fourth: Don’t discuss it with them in the future.  The people offering well-intentioned resistance have shown that they are not a good sounding board, so it might be best to steer clear of the topic as often as possible.

Fifth: Consult with a confidant for reassurance.  We are only human, and when our loved ones show that they don’t believe in our goals, well-intentioned or not, it hurts.  Talking with someone who supports your path can restore your confidence.

Keep walking your own path.

Pathwalking is a challenge.  However, I believe that manifesting the life I most desire, and being happy in what I do and how I spend my days is more important than going with the flow and being discontent.  This is why I am striving to choose for myself, and walk the best path for me that I can.

Have you met well-intentioned resistance along the way?

 

This is the two-hundred ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What Did You Learn Today?

You learn something new every day.

This is not just some cliché phrase, it’s literally true.  Some things we learn are huge and life changing, but most are minute and easy to overlook.

One of the greatest joys of life is that there is always something new to be learned.  Because there is always something new to learn, virtually no situation is impossible or irreparable.  We simply may be lacking in the necessary knowledge.

Learning is often tied in with change.  As we learn new things, we change our opinions, we change our technologies, our lives shift.  It is as inevitable as change itself, so it’s no surprise learning and change are linked.

One of the oddest things about people is our paradoxical resistance to change and desire to change.  We get comfortable with the world as it is, and dislike change.  Yet, at exactly the same time, we want to be happier, healthier, more centered, and that is a product of change.

Controlled change versus uncontrolled change.

While this is not a black and white, either/or concept, change generally happens in these two forms.  Controlled change, when we make choices like new jobs, new diets, new relationships and such.  Uncontrolled change is not in our hands, involves things like natural disasters, being dumped by a lover, getting fired from our jobs, breaking bones and being unable to exercise, and so forth.

Most people seek changes in their lives.  Some huge, some small, some subtle and some drastic.  In order to make changes, we usually have to learn something.  Examples of this include new dietary techniques, new job skills, new exercise routines, etc.

I suspect that because change can be so scary, and change is tied to learning, that this is where the current anti-intellectualism streak we’re seeing comes from.  All these new ideas we have available to us signify change, and people fearing change resist.  This partially explains science deniers, because science is all about learning and learning leads to change.

This is where choice is important.  When we choose to change, we increase our knowledge and learn more.  When we resist it, we still learn something, but it might not be the lesson we think it is.

Knowing can be a dangerous thing.

Knowledge is power.  The more we know, the more tools we have available to us.  One of my first self-help/spiritual reads was Shunryu Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.  While it’s an excellent introduction to Zen practices, it also makes some interesting statements about learning and knowledge.  For example, “We should not hoard knowledge; we should be free from our knowledge.”  This might be open to interpretation, but I view it this way: what we know is not set in stone, we should always be open to knowing more.

We live in a society where people mistake demagogues for the wise.  The “knowledge” they impart has no basis in fact, but they claim to “know” things.  While I do not like to get political in this blog, the perfect example is climate change.  Science has shown us that mankind is effecting climate change in an unnatural way, but many of our leaders prefer to ignore science for their own “beliefs” on the topic.  They “know” better.

While I know a lot of things, most, if not all, are open to reexamination.  Because there are new things to learn, what I know today is probably going to be different from what I will know tomorrow.

Recognizing that knowing is ever-changing is a part of learning.  When we recognize this, we can choose to learn things in order to take control of change.

Wisdom is learning, not knowing.

The use of the words “I know” frequently close us off from change.  In especial when we take them as truth from outside influences without giving them a thorough examination.  The primary notion of Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind is that the “beginner” is always learning.  We gain experience, we gain knowledge, but so long as we keep our minds open like the beginner, we continue to learn and grow.  The wisdom of Zen practice is knowing that there is plenty you don’t know.

Stating “I know” with absolute certainty when it comes to self-actualization can be empowering, however.  Statements of this nature include I know I am amazing and I know I am the conscious creator of my reality and I know I am worthwhile and I know I am loving and lovable and such.  This is not conceit, its self-awareness.   Saying “I know” in this context is a matter of defining the self in positive, generative terms.

It has been long argued that human beings use only a fraction of our mental capabilities.  True or not, we can still conceive of and create amazing, incredible things that we have not created before.  Ergo, new learnings.  Only a hundred years ago global communications, computer technology, transatlantic flight and other modern conveniences were almost unimaginable.  But here we are, a century later, and look what all we have learned?  Science fiction postulates faster-than-light interstellar travel and other fantastical notions; but who’s to say we won’t learn these things in time?

Learning is joy.

I love to learn new things.  I also love to share the things I have learned with others.  This is why I write these posts, this is why I teach fencing, this is why I read self-help and spiritual books.  I love to learn, and there is always something new to be discovered and revealed and shared.

The world is pretty big.  The solar system is bigger.  Larger still is the galaxy.  On the same scale, the Universe is nearly infinite.  Great or small, there is always something new to learn, always experiences to be had.  Pathwalking is choosing to learn, to grow, to effect change for ourselves.

Every single day I learn something new.  This is what excites me most about life.  Everything new I learn opens up possibilities.  Consciousness creates reality, so there is always learning to be had.

What did you learn today?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Where do you find your Path?

Where do you find your path?

This can be a daunting question.  Finding the path you want to walk is a matter of necessity.

No two paths are the same.  Similar in some respects, but not the same.  For example, it is my personal goal to become a bestselling author.  While there are lots of bestselling authors out there, each of us will traverse different paths to that goal.

Knowing my path, where did I find it?  The simple answer is that I have found it in joy.  When I get the most lost in what I am doing, and I am happiest, that is where I found my path.

There are several universal means to finding the where of your own paths.  As such, where you find your path, different though it may be, originates from the same point.

Where do you feel most joyful?

This is the first question.  What do you do that brings you the most joy?  What makes you feel the happiest?  It is there you can find your path.

For me, there are two particular things that bring me absolutely tremendous joy.  Fencing and writing.  Whenever I get the chance to attend a fencing practice or weekend event, I fight with all the energy I can muster.  I absolutely love the game, love the feeling of swords in my hands, the difference in choice of weapons.  Learning a new move, or employing something unusual is exciting.  The joy I feel from the game moves me.

Writing is how I best express myself.  I can wrestle words into submission in any form I choose.  I love writing sci-fi and fantasy, but I also absolutely love writing my blog.  Sharing my thoughts on Positivity and Pathwalking and Crossing the Bridges makes me unbelievably happy.  It feels good to reach out to and support other people striving to live their fullest lives.

Even writing brochures and advertisements and web content is still fun for me.  Where mathematical equations frustrate me, creating with words to me is almost as easy as breathing.

Thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Everything begins in thought.  Every invention, every manmade notion began in thought.  You wouldn’t even have a path to consider traveling without a thought.  So the thought is the beginning.

To turn the thought into a thing, you have to feel it.  Feeling what it would be like to have your thought made manifest is important.  You need to power your thought with emotion, or you won’t create much of anything.  Feeling drives the thought into being.

From the thought, to the feeling, you move to intentional action.  Taking a step based on the feeling from the thought is where you begin your Pathwalking.  So you find your path in the thought, the feeling points you in the right direction, and the intentional actions you take move you along it.

We choose to walk our own paths because we want to control our own destinies.  There will always be new paths to walk, because life, the Universe, and everything changes.  While this can be somewhat daunting, it’s also pretty exciting.

Where do you lose track of time?

I have a friend I have been fencing with for quite some time now.  He and I will frequently fight at practice for a ludicrous amount of time.  Multiple passes, each of us attacking and defending, and on more than one occasion we’ve only stopped because we realized we had been at it for some time.  We’ve been known to go anywhere from thirty to forty-five minutes.  When each bout on average lasts less than a minute, this equates to a whole lot of fighting.

It is the joy of the game that makes us lose track of time.  Our bodies get tired, we perspire a whole lot, but we are having so much fun that we just don’t notice the time pass.  It is that feeling that will tell you where your path can be found.

Writing works the same for me.  Often, when I get going on a story or editing, I will completely lose track of time.  I won’t stop for anything because I am excited to get the idea out of my head and onto the page.  The words flow through me, and I have to put them out there.

Sometimes I will go back and read something I wrote, and I was so caught up in the moment that it’s almost unfamiliar.  Losing yourself to joy is a sure sign you’ve found your path.

Beware of outside influences “accepting” you.

I don’t know about you, but I have been told more than once that work is not supposed to be fun.  Work is something you do because you need to earn money.  You take the best paying job with the most benefits you can get, and you do it because that’s what society expects of you.  Do your job, earn your pay, take your joy in the little things but suck-it-up, because that’s how it works.

I have a very hard time accepting this notion.  Why?  Most adults in our society spend from six to twelve hours, a third to half of their time awake, every day, at work.   If your job bores you, leaves you dissatisfied, or worse stresses you out completely, is it worth it?  Is money and benefits but spending most of the day somewhere you are not joyful worthwhile?

We are only in this life for a limited time.  To spend the majority of that time unhappy is utterly illogical.  Yet we readily accept the notion that to participate in our society, we have to suck-it-up and do the job.  Take that commute, work for and with people you’d rather not spend time with, earn the money.  That is how we gain acceptance from society at large.

Find your path, find your joy, live huge.

This is why I have chosen to Pathwalk.  I don’t want to spend the precious time I am on this planet, in this body, unhappy.  Living the fullest life I possibly can is what I desire, and I want to manifest awesome things and contribute what I can to the world at large.  I want to live in joy, and I want to choose for myself what that means.

Consciousness creates reality, and I want to create the best reality I can.

Do you know where you will find your paths?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

How does Pathwalking Help Other People?

You cannot help the world if you don’t help yourself.

Pathwalking is about seeking out your own destiny.  Walking your own path in life.  Pathwalking is about living life to the fullest, striving for the best experiences.

It can be very hard not to feel that this idea is selfish.  It is even more difficult when you see the state of the world today.  The constant deluge of information, specifically negativity, greed, and selfishness, can be disconcerting.

I try not to get political in Pathwalking, but I feel the need presently.  The so-called “Health Care” bill the US Senate has proposed is beyond horrific.  It’s the ultimate in selfish, greedy, surreal cruelty.  The ACA may be imperfect, but this “replacement” is nothing short of inhuman.  If this legislation passes, millions will needlessly suffer.

Why is this?  Because these people in power care for nobody but themselves.  I’m sorry if you find this generalization offensive, but that’s how I see this.

How come I am taking this unusual approach?  Because when we are inundated by news of unbelievable egotism, greed and indecency, it’s hard to see the line between self-care and selfishness.

Self-help is not selfish.

Doing things to take care of yourself is not selfish.  When we don’t put ourselves first, we leave ourselves with little, if anything, to give to anyone or anything else.

I understand this feeling all-too-well.  Knowing that we need to resist, to protest, to speak out against this ugliness, it feel like the self shouldn’t be a priority.  It’s even tougher when we have jobs and maybe employer health insurance and possibly even good health not to feel like we need to give more.  We have good things, shouldn’t we accept it as sufficient and keep giving more?

The simple answer is no.  If we are not completely satisfied with our own paths and self-care, we need to continue striving to help ourselves.  This works directly with the Law of Attraction, and conscious reality creation.  The more we have, the more we have to give.

I believe that it’s easy to tell the difference between self-care and selfishness.  How?  How it feels.

Self-Care is Abundance.  Selfishness is Lack.

When we take the time to live the best life we can, to be happy with who we are and what we do, we feel abundant.  We feel good, we feel positive, and when we feel that way we want to share.  That is what helping yourself with self-care feels like.  You want to give because you have more than enough.

This is not just about tangibles like time and money.  This is also about intangibles like friendship, love and support.  I share this blog because I don’t just want to find my own paths, I want to help you do the same.  If I help you in any way, I feel good about doing that.

Selfishness hoards your time, your money, your energy.  Being selfish means you feel like there is not enough.  You don’t want to share because you are afraid things will become depleted if you do.  Selfishness comes from fear, entitlement, and a feeling of insufficiency, among other places.  Selfish feels lacking, and cares for nobody else.

The ability to help others comes from abundance.

Plain and simple, you help because you have more than enough to do so.  Even if you do not have everything you need, or even want, you still feel abundant.  From that place of abundance you have the strength to give, to lend that helping hand.  That is why self-care matters.  You have to have enough for yourself to give.

If you are driving your car from one end of the country to the other, along the way you will need to fill the tank.  You can only go so far before your fuel is depleted.  This is completely true of the self, too.  When you don’t care enough for yourself, you deplete what you have, and won’t be able to give easily or joyfully to others.

Which leads to an important distinction.  Sacrifice.  Sacrifice is a lack mentality.  Why?  Because sacrificing says, “Since there is not enough, I will go without.”  If you deny your own good to do good for others, you will do less good than you desire.  If in the process of helping someone else achieve something you do not, that can build resentment.  Resentment in turn can lead to selfishness, because due to feeling lacking and previous sacrifice, now you feel a need to take for yourself and share nothing.  Hence, perpetuating lack mentality.

Compromise is not sacrifice.

Another important distinction needs to be made here.  Compromising means you accept certain conditions that may not be exactly what you want.  Yet, this is not due to feeling lack, but rather to satisfy some other condition.  For example, let’s say you and a partner agreed to sell something you jointly own.  You think the proceeds should be split 50/50, your partner believes they should get 70% of the profit.  You point out why the proceeds should be split evenly, your partner concedes only a little bit, but still believes they should get 65%.

Maybe you are right that things should be split evenly, and while you could argue and drag out matters, to keep the peace you decide to compromise, and accept.  You choose compromise because keeping the peace and being happy matters more than being right.  It might stick in your craw some, but in the end your choice will keep everyone happier.  This is also a matter of self-care, and something to consider when walking your chosen paths.

You cannot help the world if you don’t help yourself.  Self-care is not selfish, and allows you to have even more to give.  What matters of self-care have you done lately?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

How do you Pathwalk with a Partner?

How do you and a partner walk your paths together?

This question came to mind as I considered that my wife and I have different goals and aspirations for our professional lives.  I want to share why for us this is not problematic, and how I think we strengthen and reinforce one another in walking our separate paths together.

There are some important points to keep in mind here.  No matter who you are, you cannot walk anyone’s path but your own.  Only you can think, feel and act for you, and you cannot do so for anyone else.

People often think that one person holds sway over another.  This is only going to be true if someone allows their own thoughts, feelings and action to line up with those of someone else.  I believe that because many people prefer to not make choices and to just go with what comes their way, they give the appearance of being under another’s dominion.  But in truth, they just put no energy into choosing what they might truly want.

When you have a business partner, a romantic partner, a spouse or any other dependent or co-dependent, I think it’s of vital importance to recognize that even as a singular entity, like a couple or partnership, you are still both individuals.

I am no expert, but what I have come to believe is this: Any good, solid relationship is not two people coming together and becoming of one mind, but rather two people whose combined individuality makes each other stronger.  When both of you are looking to choose your own paths to walk in life, you improve each other by working together.

Partners on separate paths can share their lives.

One of the key elements of this is that every single one of us has our own path in life.  People will come in and out of our lives, and our relationships over time will change.  Some will grow, some will fade.  Some people will be in your life forever, while some will be there for a limited time.

When we choose along our path to take on a partnership, romantic or platonic, we choose to share some aspect of our path.  One of the keys to recognizing this as a good thing is feeling that this is not some diversion from your path, but rather a part of it.

We are social creatures.  Even the most introverted among us need other people, albeit sometimes in very small and intimate doses.  Humans energetically feed off one another, sharing our experiences to provide us with connection.

Even when we partner with someone, we are still on our own path.  The strongest partnerships, whether we are discussing lovers or business partners, are the ones where each individual works with the strengths of their partners.  They help one another through difficulties and their real and perceived weaknesses.

Partners break us out of our limitations

My wife knows what I want from my life, what my goals are, what the path is I am walking.  One of the best things she will do for me is act as a sounding board, point out when I am having limiting beliefs, and remind me when my thoughts are getting in the way of my feelings.  I am not always as good about heeding her suggestions as I should be, but she supports me, which I appreciate thoroughly.

I support and encourage my wife in doing what she needs to for her path.  I will suggest things and offer to be a sounding board for her, and do whatever I can to help her along her way.

We do not have the same professional goals.  Yet we are still able to appreciate what we each do and want, and how that will effect our life together.  We are a couple, yes, but we are also two individual people, on our own unique paths, striving to create amazing, consciously created realities.

Partners support and encourage.

I think one of the reasons for the failure certain partnerships is a lack of working as individuals on them.  When you force a convergence of your lives, but there is resentment due to sacrifice real or perceived, the partnership can’t hold.

One of the things that used to scare me about relationships was giving up pieces of myself.  I am all for compromise, but not in the name of sacrificing hopes and aspirations.   If consciousness creates reality, and we live in an abundant universe, then even having a partner should be a source of joy and accomplishment along our paths in life.

Our culture tends to romanticize partnerships, even platonic ones.  There is a big “ah-ha!” moment that brings them together, and they sync up perfectly, and often become a single entity.  But in reality, the best partnerships are in sync, but they are still individuals, moving along their own unique paths.

How do you and a partner walk your paths together?  By recognizing, sharing, encouraging, and helping each other travel your chosen paths.  By accepting that while you will have things that will be totally and completely shared, you remain individuals with your own dreams and desires.  You have a cheerleader, a confidant, and at least one person who understands you in nearly the same way you understand yourself.

Can you see how everyone walking our own paths makes us all stronger, together or separately?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

If you have not already done so, please click on the link to subscribe to my new mailing list!

What do you do when the path gets scary?

Walking along the path of your choosing can sometimes be scary.

This is frequently because in choosing your own path in life, you will incur both internal and external criticism.  The internal is the result from when you step out of your comfort zone; the external is the reaction you get from those around you as you break from the accepted norm.

Pathwalking is about choice.  It is about consciously creating our own reality, and seeking out our own destiny.  This type of choice is something many people decide not to make, and because it’s not the tried and true, it’s going to cause some disconcerting and possibly negative feelings.

In Into the Woods, one of Stephen Sondheim’s lyric goes, “Though it’s fearful, though it’s deep, though it’s dark and though you may lose the path, though you may encounter wolves, you can’t just act, you have to listen. You can’t just act, you have to think. “

This is quintessential to Pathwalking.  When you encounter that fearful, dark bit along the path you can’t just take action.  There has to be thought.  You have to pay attention to what is happening, and feel what the outcome is going to be.  You have to decide if what you are feeling is a warning for your protection…or rather, if it’s a reaction to breaking from your comfort zone.

Fear of the unknown.

Recently, walking my own path, I came across a situation.  A choice.  I moved this blog from the nice, comfortable host it was with to a new host, where I can take it to a whole new level, and do far, far more in the way of customizing and optimizing it.  I have been taking an online course, and reached a point where it was suggested I create content that required the more advanced hosting option.

This presented me with two concerns.  The first, in changing things over I might lose what I already have created and worked so hard with for the last five-and-a-half years.  The second was a somewhat substantial (to me) financial outlay.

To grow, this change was absolutely necessary.  I had spent a couple weeks researching this shift, figuring out the best host and the best deal, researching creating options to make changes to some of my other domains down-the-line, and investigating how to maintain the existing content.  I lamented about it, checked, rechecked, and checked out all the options again.  I hesitated.  I debated.

Did I want to truly walk the path of my choosing?  Was I ready to make this change?  Was I in the right place to go ahead and do something different?

Take a leap of faith.

I went ahead and took the steps I knew were necessary for this.  I realized that my fear was not a warning that I was in some form of danger, it was the familiar expressing fear of the unknown.  It was my comfort zone reacting to perceived discomfort.  It was the me I was fighting the me I am, and the me I want to be.

Who we are, in the here-and-now, is a result of our thoughts, feelings and actions of the past.  Really.   This is why thinking about, feeling out, and then taking intentional actions in the present is so powerful.  We cannot undo the past; if we see what we want as the future, it will remain in the future.

That is the concept I find hardest to grasp.  I constantly feel like I am on the cusp of creating what I want, on the verge of consciously creating my desired reality…and because I keep it just ahead of me, just about to happen, it never manages to actually happen.  So close…but not yet there.  Or rather…not yet here.

This time I recognized the fear for what it was.  It was the self-sabotaging reaction to change.  I took a deep breath, and I ignored it and made the change.  You may have noticed the blog looks a bit different today, as such.   This is just the beginning!

Disempower the fear.

When you reach one of those scary moments along your path, you are the only one who can feel or not feel the fear.  Nobody else is in your head but you, so you are the only one who can make the choices about what you want your reality to look like.

In this instance, you can’t ignore and neglect the fear, you have to look at it, get to know it.  Only by acknowledging it can you determine if this fear is truly present to protect you from harm, or if this fear is a reaction to change, and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

It’s actually easy to tell the difference between real fear and perceived fear, which is what I’m writing about here.  Real fear is certain knowledge that there is danger.  It’s generally tangible, like being an antelope on the Serengeti surrounded by lions. A real intangible fear will feel the same, a clear and present, immediate danger.

Perceived fear is not in the present.  How can you tell?  It is usually attached to the words What If?  What if I choose this and I fail?  What if I succeed?  What if I get it wrong?  What if I get it right?  When you recognize this, you will see that it’s about fearing change.  Because it is an intangible, and not an immediate danger, you get to choose to disempower the fear, and move forward past it.

Walking along the path of your choosing can sometimes be scary.  But when you are consciously creating your reality, you are manifesting a life that is exciting, fulfilling, and full of endless potential.

What have you done when you encountered scary moments upon your path?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

 

How do you recognize if you’re walking the right Path?

How do I know if I am on the right path?

This is probably the most basic, yet most challenging question to ask.  The answer is both amazingly simple, and yet fairly complicated.

Pathwalking is making choices about living life, in order to work to consciously create our personal reality as we want it to be.  Rather than simply going along with life and letting whatever happens, happen; as we walk our chosen paths we strive to be present and aware.  We don’t want to let life just occur, we are working on living life to its fullest.

There is always more than one path.  That’s how the universe works.  If consciousness creates reality, as this blog asserts, then we can choose virtually any path we might desire.  As such, there is more than one “right” path for us.

It’s important to recognize that the idea of “right” is fairly loaded.  Right is often the extreme opposite of wrong, but in this context right is a matter of feeling, desire, and drive.  Further, today’s right choice could be wrong for us tomorrow.

I recognize that that’s pretty vague.  This is because the specifics of what is right for me are not going to necessarily be right for you, or for anyone else for that matter.  “Right” in this particular context is a matter of feeling, belief and faith.

How do I recognize the right path?

The short answer is that the right path will feel good.  It will almost seem like its too easy, and the work you do along the right path feels less like work, and more like play.  It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of time when you are on the right path, because you get so caught up in it you just take action because it’s what you need to do.

For example, when I am writing, and really getting into my work, whether it’s my blog or my fiction or even writing for business, I often just flow with it. Time loses meaning, and I come away from a project feeling complete, content, and like I wasn’t working at all, just doing what feels good to me.

I desire to be writing more frequently.  I am driven to write, and that is how I am certain that this is the path that is right for me.

It feels good.  It feels like it is what I am supposed to do.  That is how I know my path is the right path.  But to really be travelling upon that path, it’s important to believe and have faith.

What’s the difference between belief and faith?

In many respects these are similar concepts, but not in this context.  How does this work, then?  Belief is important to Pathwalking, because if you don’t believe that consciousness can create reality, and that you can choose your own destiny, your own path in life, then you are going to be incapable of living this way.

I believe that I can create the life I desire.  I have made this work before, more than once.  And that is where faith comes into play.

I believe in this…but I don’t necessarily have faith.  I believe, in the abstract, but my faith in my own belief is open to scrutiny, questioned by my own skepticism.  But more than that, what this boils down to is my faith in myself.  I believe that consciousness creates reality, but I have no faith in myself to consciously create it.

If I am responsible for consciously creating my reality, then I need to have faith in myself.  I am the only one who can make MY life what I want it to be.  But if I lack faith in myself, what can I do?

How do you create faith in yourself?

When you believe in yourself, you believe you are capable of almost anything.  We nearly all feel this way as children, but as we get older and we are exposed to certain “realities”, this fades.  We can regain our ability to believe in abstracts, but after that we have to have faith – faith in ourselves.

Skepticism, cynicism, self-doubt, self-recrimination, second-guessing and self-deprecation are all born of a lack of faith.  Despite what you might believe about conscious reality creation, you don’t have sufficient faith in yourself to achieve it.  This is evident if your self-talk is frequently negative, such as I am no good; I am unimportant; I am fat; I am lazy; I fail more often than I succeed; if I don’t joke about myself everyone else will; and so on.  When you speak ill of yourself, it shows a lack of faith in who you are capable of being.

You may not be who you want to be right now.  That’s ok.  One of the reasons to choose Pathwalking is to become the person you most want to be, even if that is not who you are now.  To do that you have to think about it, feel it out, take inspired, intentional actions – and believe in the possibility; have faith in your ability to succeed.  When it feels like you can conquer the world, and you believe in conscious reality creation and have faith in yourself, you will know that are on the right path for you.

Do you have faith in yourself and your ability to choose your own destiny?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

What are challenges vs struggles with Pathwalking?

Pathwalking can be fraught with many challenges.

I long ago came to believe that nothing worth having is ever easy.  But there is a difference between challenge and struggle.  Challenge involves growth and proactive change, while struggle is stagnation and reactive change.  Challenge is deciding to change, while struggle is forced.

Many of the challenges in Pathwalking are due to outside influences, some which we can control and some which we cannot.  Recognizing this is the first step towards working with it, and keeping challenges from becoming struggles.

Further, when you recognize that you are struggling, it is possible to transmute your struggle into a challenge.  This is where taking control of the matters which you can control comes into play.

What is outside of your control?  Other people, situations that are not of your making, world news and such.  Let’s face it…we live in tumultuous times.  There is a tremendous amount of upheaval and reactionary measures happening because people are either making poor choices or no choices due to fear of change.  We can protest, we can vote more wisely, we can choose where and how to spend our money, but we cannot change these people, their actions or how they think, no matter how badly we want to do that.

What is inside of your control?  Everything that is yours in your life.  Your thoughts, feelings and actions, your situations, your mental state, how you use your time and so on.  You are the only person who can think for you, feel for you, act for you.  Nobody else can make you think, feel or do anything you do not allow yourself to think, feel and do.

We frequently give this away without realizing that we are doing that.  They influenced my thinking and she made me feel that way and I only did that thing because you made me do it.  Easy enough to give that power away, but that is a choice, a decision.  The power is yours, but you get to choose if you will take hold of it, or not.

Looking out for yourself is not selfish.

We live in a society obsessed with polar opposites.  Black and white, rich and poor, conservative and liberal, gay and straight, fat and thin, etc.  We are inundated with choices of either/or, when the truth is most people in every way fall somewhere between extremes.

One of these is the notion that if you are not selfless, you are selfish.  As such, we often find ourselves believing that self-care is selfish, so we neglect it to care for others.  Then we wonder why we are struggling, when we have accepted this notion and let ourselves take a second-rate place in our own lives.

When we do not hold onto things for ourselves, and we do not care for ourselves, we actually take away our ability to give to others.  We have to be full in order to have enough to share, and because this is an abundant universe that is not a selfish notion.  We are all unique individuals, and we all have different needs and wants, but no matter what those may be, we all need to care for ourselves.  Putting yourself first is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t ignore that there is a world apart from yourself.  You are the center of your own world, but you are also a part of rather than apart from the rest of the world. That’s an important distinction to remain clear on.

Choose challenge.  Choose change.

Change is inevitable.  It will happen, because that is part of life and growth.  Even when you are standing perfectly still, the air around you is changed by your body heat and your breath.  That is the nature of all things.  So rather than struggle from resisting change, accept the challenges that may come from change.

The challenges of Pathwalking will be different for everyone.  Things I find simple and easy you may find unbelievably difficult, and vice versa.  I am a thinker, and while I am empathic, I have often struggled to understand people who are true feelers.  However, while I can be logical about my feelings, actually understanding the meanings of my feelings can be difficult for me.  Then there are people who are doers – they take actions with seemingly little thought or feeling going into them, sometimes with extreme wisdom and sometimes less so.

Many of the challenges thinkers, feelers or doers will experience may be similar, but they may also vary rather widely.  The thing is to make the choices and decide to work on challenges we face, rather than to let choices and decisions out of our control, and work on struggles that drain us and disempower us.

Pathwalking is empowering.

Despite challenges and occasional struggles, Pathwalking, ultimately, is empowering.  Choosing your own path means that you are working on deciding how you want life to be.  When we decide this for ourselves, we open ourselves to discovering our happiness, and that, I believe, is the thing we most want to know.

When you are struggling, it is always possible to face it head-on and turn it into a challenge.  It may not be easy, but I believe empowering the self is always worthwhile.  Choosing my own destiny and deciding how I want to be I believe is key to living the best life I possibly can.

What challenges do you work with regularly, and how do you approach them?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Why Walk Your Own Path? You Control More Than You Think

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.

This can be a particularly difficult concept to believe, but that doesn’t lessen the truth of it.  You are in control over how you think, how you feel, and how you act.

I know that sometimes it feels like that control is really, really limited.  Truth is, however, that the only limitations are those that you yourself place.  Otherwise, you have far more power and capability to change your life as you would most desire than you probably believe.

I created Pathwalking with the intent of taking control over my life, and creating the destiny I believe I am meant for.  I have long known that the standard courses in life were not for me, and overall I have not taken those particular paths.

One career since college?  Nope, not at all.  I have held numerous jobs, but not followed a single career path until fairly recently.  Marriage in my late twenties or early thirties and raise kids?  Nope, didn’t get married until my early forties, and we’re not going to produce children.  Buy a house, use it to build equity and maintain stability?  While I have been a homeowner, the current plan is to not buy again anytime soon, and rent for the purpose of mobility.

Why am I pointing these out?  Because it is way too easy to let society dictate control over our lives.  We live in a society that discourages us from striking out on our own path, rather than choosing something not-the-normal.  Rather than empower the individual, our society prefers to keep us underfoot, at the whim of our bosses, our religious and political leaders, our supposed superiors.

You are In Charge of You

Nobody is superior to anybody else.  It does not matter if they have more education, more money, more experience or are older than you or more specialized, the only person you answer to, when all is said and done, is you.  The only power anyone else enjoys over you is in place because you have given it away.

That is a particularly hard pill to swallow.  We are so indoctrinated into this idea that other people can control us, that other people can be responsible for our emotions and actions, that we cannot believe this is only true because we allow it to be.  Other people are only able to affect us as much or as little as we allow them to.

For example, let’s say you were in a relationship, but then your partner unceremoniously dumped you.  Yes, you feel hurt, probably betrayed, and upset…but chances are you blame them for hurting you.  They caused you to be hurt, they treated you poorly, and in all likelihood your feelings and opinion of your former partner will only spiral downwards from there.

Yes, it was the action on the part of your former partner that caused those bad feelings.  Yes, it is perfectly normal and totally human to feel hurt, betrayed and upset.  But, you are the one feeling these feelings. As such, you get to choose how long you will hold onto them, and how far along the downward spiral you care to travel.

You are the only one who can feel how you feel.  While there are uncountable outside influences that can and will effect how you feel, you are the only one who actually feels what you feel.  As such, the person who has caused you to hurt only hurts you for as long as you allow them to have that power over you.

Taking another step from here, you and only you are responsible for your actions.  Nobody can make you do anything you do not choose to do.  Yet because our society is so keyed into not being accountable for anything, it is easy to place the blame for bad actions we have taken -outside of ourselves.

Take Back Your Power

When you understand that you are the one in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, you get to choose how much of that control to exert.  You will feel upset for as long as you hold onto it, and you will not take an action that is not of your own accord, unless you choose to and blame it on another.  You are the one who gets to decide.  You get to choose.

You will notice over the coming weeks changes to this blog.  I am studying new ideas to improve what I share here, and that means things will be changing.  Since change is inevitable, happens whether we want it or not, I am exerted control over change, and choosing to alter this how I desire the change to be.

Last week I explained how intention is the reality of control.  Intention is composed of thought and feeling and action, and you are the only person who can control all of your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.  Nobody else can choose for you, nobody else can be in control, unless you allow them to be.  You can keep the power over your thoughts, feelings and actions, or you can give it away in part or total.  That is your decision.

Consciousness creates reality.  Recognizing our own control over the vast majority of our lives, we can be empowered to make almost anything we can imagine of them.  We are free thinkers; we are the only ones who feel the things we feel, however we feel them; we are the only ones who can act on our own thoughts and feelings.

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.  When you recognize this, embrace it and see just how endless the possibilities are before you.

What feels out of your control that you can take back for yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Page 1 of 30

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén