The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: February 2012

Pathwalking 9

One of the main keys to this entire process is feeling.

It is necessary to start by thinking about how I want to walk my path.  Thought is the beginning.  But the real key to this is FEELING.

If all I do is think about it – I cannot generate enough power to manifest it.  To consciously create my reality, I cannot simply give it thought – it requires feeling.  It demands feeling.  If I cannot feel it, I cannot create it.

I am very aware of this limitation in the process.  And yes, it is limiting – as my own, personal ability to feel has proven time and again to be quite limited.

This could easily take me off on a completely separate topic.  Emotion, feeling – this is something I can utterly tangent to.  But this post is about walking the path, and in order to make the choices on how I wish to walk the path, I need to be able to feel.

Feelings can be tricky.  Feelings can be scary.  But it has been apparent in more than one way, on more than one occasion that feelings are more powerful than logic, than thought, and even reason.  Feelings can and will dominate any given situation, positively or negatively.  And I would argue that feelings are the hardest aspect of our sentience for us to control.

We can direct our thoughts relatively easily, if we just put forth a little effort to do so.  We can see logic, we can know reason.  But controlling our feelings is far trickier.  In especial when outside influences can so easily overwhelm them.

How many times do we feel anger over an injustice?  Feel pity for the sick?  Feel jealousy when we see something we want that someone else has?  Feel love overwhelm reason?  Feel fear overwhelm logic?  How often do feelings spring up, unbidden, and dominate the rest of our day?

This is the hardest part of pathwalking, in many respects.  At least for me.  I can work to direct how I am thinking, but feeling?  That is challenging.  And not simply because of outside influence on feeling…I, personally, am also fighting a natural impulse to block feeling entirely.

Once more I could go off on a tangent on this topic, but that’s not going to get me to my point.  More than once I have had the ability to feel, and to control HOW and WHAT I feel – and create the reality I desired.  The problem is – I intellectually know how I did it…it’s recreating the feeling that proves difficult.

For a VERY long time now, I have been really good at intellectually knowing WHAT I should feel.  I have long understood the concept of emotion, but to actually FEEL it has been a much trickier proposition.  This, in turn, makes the entire concept of pathwalking that much more difficult.

I know what I want.  I know how to choose my own path.  But to actually get there, to actually be able to well and truly WALK the path, I have to feel my way to it.  And that is the challenge.

Feeling can be scary.  Feeling opens up all sorts of things that are, frankly, counter to the notion of pathwalking.  And yet, without feeling, my best efforts to choose and walk the path I want fail.  Not for lack of desire, not for lack of planning, but for lack of proper feeling.

SO – the issue at hand is to recall how I felt when I did this successfully before.  What feelings did I feel when I was successful in walking the path?  How do I get to those feelings?  How do I hold onto those feelings, and not be distracted by all the things distracting?

This is the question I need to answer now.  I know where the problem is, I know what the solution is, logically, intellectually.  But the problem now is figuring out how to make the step and FEEL.  Because that, ultimately, is where my answer lies.

Thought alone hasn’t enough power to for conscious creation of reality.  Feeling is required.  Intent, focus, and feeling combined are the elements for successfully pathwalking.  But feeling is at least, if not more than half of the sum total.

What am I thinking?  What am I feeling?  What are YOU thinking?  What are YOU feeling?


This is the ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

Pathwalking 8

Why do I believe that choosing my own path is possible?  How can I think that conscious pathwalking can be realistic?  Why do I so vehemently believe this?  Because I have seen it in action.  Because I have experienced it first hand.  Because I have done it.

As I stated in the last entry to this blog – Pathwalking is about finding the path, really experiencing the here and now of it, and understanding that we have the ability to be in control of our own lives.  It is the notion that there is truth in The Law of Attraction, the notion that Consciousness Creates Reality, or The Secret.

THIS is why I believe.  This is the explanation for how I know it is possible:

Tuesday, November 30th, 1999 started out as a day like any other.  I got out of bed, went about my routines.  In the afternoon, the quarter-mile walk I chose to make from my house to the post office would change my life forever.

I was the victim of a hit-and-run.  I was clipped and thrown into a curb.  My right tibia (the large bone between your knee and ankle) was shattered, my fibula (the slimmer bone between your knee and ankle), broken in two places.  My right clavicle was also shattered, and the brachial plexus (the nerve bundle the runs from the neck to the armpit under the clavicle) stretched and damaged.

Suffice it to say – I was a mess.  The resulting damage made it impossible to bear weight on my leg, and my arm was not completely functional.  And the prognosis the doctors presented to me was not terribly encouraging.

This is what the doctors told me:  My arm may or may not recover.  I might get back feeling completely, or I might not.  I may get back full use, but there is no guarantee.  And it could take months, possibly YEARS, if ever.  My leg may take quite some time to heal, possibly require multiple surgeries to repair, and I will probably walk with a limp the rest of my life.  I should be able to walk again, but that will probably take from 1 to 3 YEARS.

Many people, presented with this, would accept it, and adjust accordingly.  I, however, did not.  I wanted better.

The next year I found the most profound focus I have ever had.  I concentrated on no other outcome but total and complete healing.  My arm?  I would have it back, just like before.  My leg?  I would heal so completely that if I didn’t show you the scars, you would never know how bad the damage was.  I accepted nothing else.  I believed in no other possibility but total recovery.

On my website is a humorous, yet complete version of the story of my recovery.  Head over and check out The Journey of a Thousand Miles…Begins with a Trip to the Post Office.  The names are changed – but the story of my recovery is completely true.

Suffice it to say – I succeeded.  Medical science says the fused tibia/fibula in my right leg should force me to walk with a limp – I do not.  I should be unable to run – I can run.  My right arm is fully functional.  If I do not show you my scars or tell you this story – you would NEVER know I experienced this.

My belief was total.  My focus, unwavering.  No doubt, no possibility of anything but the outcome I desired.  And I got it.

Yes, I had excellent doctors.  Yes, medical science did wonders to rebuild me.  But even they were at a loss for the swiftness and completeness of my recovery.  They could not explain how I defined expectations as I did.

But I know.  I consciously created my reality – I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, what the outcome would be.  I wanted it, I believed it, I felt it…and that, I believe now, is the key.

I didn’t just logically hold to the notion.  It wasn’t just something I gave thought to.  I gave it emotion.  I gave it power.  I gave it feeling.  And THAT is what I seek to reclaim now.  The ability to FEEL my desire into being.

I know this can work.  I’ve done it before.  I can do it again.  I can overcome the FAR lesser obstacles of my present circumstances…and have what I want.  I can make my life as I want it to be.

That is what these posts are about.  I put this here, I put the focus here.  The intent.  The key now is the hardest aspect of this –

I need to FEEL it.


PS: The name of this blog is a result of this accident.  The doctors, to heal me, placed three titanium plates around my right clavicle, to take the pressure off the brachial plexus.  Additionally, having fenced in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) for the past 20 years, I have earned an award that accepts my use of the title of ‘Don’.  But I digress.


This is the eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

Religious Freedom and Government

You want religious freedom?  Well, if you live in America, technically, you’ve got it.

Your religious freedom, however, DOES NOT in any way, shape, or form give you the right to impose YOUR views on the rest of us.

Because you see – I have religious freedom, too.

You are free to practice any religion you want – Christianity in its many forms, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Scientology, Paganism, Shintoism, Satanism, Hinduism…there are many, many and more to choose from.  OR – you are free to practice NO RELIGION AT ALL.  That’s one of the beauties of this nation we live in – we have it all, we can do it all.

But for some reason, there is this absurd push among government forces to take their religious views and throw them onto everyone else.  Whether the issue is about birth control, abortion, gay marriage, or what-have-you – there are people in power who have strong opinions on these topics – and they are attacking them, and trying to control them.

There was put in the constitution a separation of church and state which is being eroded more and more every year.  The various religious zealots in power have a lot of money, and they are LOUD – and they gain more and more traction all the time.

Those of us who do not hold such strong views, and believe that there are freedoms which religion should not dictate in our government policy are, realistically, IN THE MAJORITY.

You may disagree with me.  You have your own morals, your own views.  Pro-life, pro-choice, pro-gay-marriage or not – you are entitled to your opinion.  The federal government, however, should not be dictating policy based on ANY ONE morality or religious viewpoint.  PERIOD.

Women should not have their health and welfare dictated by men.  Period.  Women should be free to choose to take birth control, terminate unwanted pregnancies, or have any other procedure or take any medications THEY want, because IT IS THEIR BODIES, AND THEIR RIGHTS.  PERIOD.  Why in 2012 is this even up for debate?

If a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, and they want to marry – IT IS THEIR RIGHT.  This is a civil rights matter, my friends – this is women’s suffrage and the rights of black people to have the same things as white people all over again.  All kinds of people who should not get married can and do – and they marry over and over and divorce again and again – so what makes them any more special than same sex couples that wish to marry?  This is a private matter, NOT a government one!

The current debates in our government are intolerable – and that’s ironic, since tolerance is part of the issue at hand.  But while we can place the blame on the government, the blame actually lies with US – because WE put these people in power.

So – REMEMBER THIS:  Those in power, making these unbelievably biased, misogynistic, homophobic, rights violating decisions are in power because WE PUT THEM THERE.

REMEMBER THIS, because come November, we need to REMOVE THEM and place the power in more reasonable hands.

Don’t keep watching to see what rights will be taken from you or denied next – TAKE ACTION.  PAY ATTENTION.  Stop the backwards slide and inaction of our government, and let’s TAKE BACK WHAT IS OURS.

Think about it.  Please.

Pathwalking 7

What IS pathwalking, specifically, anyhow?

It occurs to me that I haven’t yet explained what this is, and why I think it is so very important.

The Australian Aborigines use the term ‘Walkabout’ to denote an adolescent journey through the wilderness as a rite of passage.  It has been borrowed in more common culture over the years to refer to a spiritual journey, often taking the form of some kind of physical adventure.

Pathwalking, as I call it, is taking the notion of this special journey – and applying it to day-to-day life.

Why?  Because I have come to believe that life itself is a great big spiritual journey.  But more than that – it is an adventure.  Every day presents new possibility, new ideas, new notions.  There are new people to meet, new things to be learned, new ideas to be discovered.

Trouble is – too many days are similar.  We get stuck in this pattern – as mentioned previously – and that pattern winds up carrying us along.  But worse than that, the pattern causes us to lose sight of aspirations, dreams, goals…and our own sense of self.  And from this loss of sense of self, I think we find ourselves in the world as it is today.

What does that mean?  To me, that means that we live in a world where people are content to be discontent.  We live in a world where we are focused on the material, where we are constantly influenced by outside forces, and where we choose to give away our personal power.  Why should we be accountable when the people we have placed in power over us are not?  It is easier to cast the blame and seek the quickest, easiest solutions, rather than to take the time to learn who we are, and what we want for our lives.

If we lose consciousness of our path, we lose the ability to choose it.  And we make the cycle a vicious one, with no way in or out, just a spiral further and further into the void.  This, I believe, takes us further away from any control of our own destiny.

I believe that if we are more self aware, our lives can be greater.  And greater can mean a great many different things to different people.  But I think what we all want, when the day is done, is the same:  To feel important.  To feel empowered.  To feel happy.  To feel in control.  Maybe, simply. TO FEEL.

The concept of pathwalking I am getting at is an attempt to do exactly this.  To make choices, to observe not only where I WANT to go, but where I AM going.  And, more importantly – to observe where I AM.

It is so very easy to get stuck in the past, or caught in the rush to achieve a goal or reach a specific outcome; but we ultimately become more lost than we would have thought possible, and the path loses all clarity.

I know that I am not alone in this thought.  I am certainly not the only one seeking to walk my own path, my own way.  And that is why I am presenting this weekly series, and sharing my thoughts on this process.

As mentioned in the beginning – this is somewhat selfish of me.  I am placing this here in order to help remind myself of the path.  But I hold the hope that, perhaps, in sharing this I am helping others seeking the same as I.  And maybe, just maybe, if more of us are aware, and more of us are conscious of the choices that we make…maybe we can spread this further, and influence the world.

It’s not about money.  It’s not about power.  It is not about blame.  It is not about intelligence.  It is about choice.  It is about empowerment.  It is about making our own way, and not letting anyone else make it for us.  It is about a healthy giving to the self, to make it better to give to others.

Pathwalking is about finding the path, really experiencing the here and now of it, and understanding that we have the ability to be in control of our own lives.  It is the notion that there is truth in The Law of Attraction, the notion that Consciousness Creates Reality, or The Secret.

Why do I so vehemently believe this?  Because I have seen it in action.  Because I have experienced it first hand.  Because I have done it.  In the next entry to this series, I will tell you how.


This is the seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

Pathwalking 6

Not only is the path not straight – neither does it run smoothly and evenly.

There are hills, dips, twists, turns, ruts and potholes.  There are points from which you can see the goal, only to be turned almost completely around.  And sometimes the path seems to leap across incredible distances, defying all logic.

This is part of the overall frustration in trying to choose one’s own path.  I know what I want, I know how I want my life to be – and yet, twist, turn, dip…and I am in a rut I never saw coming, and wonder how I got here…and how to get out.

It is, for obvious reasons, very frustrating to hit these points along the path.  You focus on your desire, you focus on making choices and being conscious of your path – and yet, there you are, stuck again.  Seriously?

So what do you do?  How do you not get overwhelmed?  How do you not give up?  It’s so easy to say, “This isn’t going to work.  I am foolish for thinking I can choose my own path.  I quit – I’ll just take it as it happens!”  And of course, once you start THAT sort of thought process – it is even harder to move forward.

This is another question that often plagues me.  How DO I continue?  How can I possibly continue to believe I have ANY say in my existence, and any control over the path I wish to be on?

My answer takes a bunch of different angles.  And it’s usually all about the situation, which will determine what I do.

First answer:  Stop.  Pause.  Assess the situation.  Analyze how I got where I am, and what my options are for getting out of it.  Meditate.  Consider if I am in a bad situation, a nuisance, a REALLY bad situation – or something else.  Prioritize.  Explore my options, and try to make my OWN way out, rather than just sitting back and seeing what happens next.

This, of course, it the hardest option.  It requires something of a leap of faith – holding to the belief in the notion that ‘consciousness creates reality’, and that I can control the choice of my path.  And that, on darker days in deeper ruts, presents an even greater challenge.  But if I recall that I have done this before – and remember and focus on HOW I did it – I can find my way again.  Not easy, though.

Second answer:  Divert.  Find something ELSE to put focus into, and find a distraction to take my mind off the problem/disappointment/whatever.  Sometimes, in going on some diversion from my situation, I can once again find my path.  I can reclaim my direction, and regain my bearings.

This can, of course, have unforeseen consequences.  Sometimes the diversion takes on a life of it’s own.  And sometimes it starts you down a wholly different path from that which you were on.  That can be good – or not.  But if you are back to purpose, you’re at least making the effort.

Third answer:  Fight.  Push.  Climb out of the rut, push back against the distraction and the depressions and soldier on.  Take up arms against the distress, struggle to overcome the obstacles, let nothing get in your way.

This can be nearly as difficult as stopping.  It can also be problematic, as sometimes these imperfections are, in fact, meant to get you OFF this path you are on, because it is not actually a good choice.  If you are fighting the wrong fight, you set yourself back as far, if not farther, than the unexpected might.

Fourth answer:  Give in.  Give up on taking this path.  Start over.  Look for other options.

The problem this presents is really about degrees.  Giving in is NOT giving up.  This is about compromise, not surrender.  You acknowledge that something about the path you are attempting is not going to work for you – so you start anew.  The danger is in letting feelings of failure stop you from trying to choose – and denying the ability to walk the path you wish to take.

Fifth answerMultitask.  A combination of stopping, diverting, fighting, and giving in.  The path is nuanced and complicated, and sometimes the simple is complicated and the complicated is, in fact, simple.  So the answer may be any combination of these.  This is, of course, most complex, as it requires a firm conviction in the goal of pathwalking, and that all the bumps, ruts, twists and turns are just a part of the path, and can be overcome and dealt with.

This brings me to the point of this entire series.  Choosing to walk the path is a conscious decision.  Not easy, not simple, and in some ways, really, not for the feint-of-heart.  The quick-and-easy path is to just not fight, not try, not work to choose your own path – let life live YOU.  But I believe that nothing worth having is ever easy – and so I will choose my path, and I will make MY way.

How about you?


This is the sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

Pathwalking 5

I am not my job.  My job does not define me.

How many of us, along the path, fall into this trap?  I mean, our job is the place where we spend 7 – 12 of our waking hours A DAY.  It is very easy to let our job define us – and, as such, to define our path.

Now for a lucky few, their job DOES define them – because is it a chosen part of their path.

But for a lot of us – probably too many of us – we do the job we do because we have no choice but to be a Responsible Adult™.  We have rent/mortgage, car and credit card payments, groceries…we all know this routine.  To live a life of independence, we have to work a job, and we have to work a job because we have to earn money to live the independent life.  This, of course, is a vicious circle.

And with this circle, we wind up in a dangerous repetitive pattern.  Wake up, go to work, go home, take a few hours to do things you can’t do while at work, go to bed.  Rinse, repeat.  Five, sometimes 6 and 7 days a week this is our cycle.  And as the pattern repeats, we find ourselves carried along, doing things automatically.

It is very, very hard to choose your path when so much of your daily routine is…well…routine.

I currently work more than one job, for various reasons.  But my Monday through Friday usually goes as such:  Get out of bed, putz around the house, play with my computer, check Facebook, make coffee.  Prepare breakfast and lunch.  Take a shower.  Go to work.

Work 11:30 to 8pm.  At work – answer calls, surf safe sites on the internet or write stuff like this on my computer between calls.

After work, go home, lounge around the house some more, play games on Facebook, watch some TV.  Off to bed between 11:30 and 12:30.  Repeat Tuesday through Friday.

Some days this gets slightly altered.  A meeting before or after work, another job before or after work.  Fencing one night a week.  See my family one night a week.  And if I can find the motivation, go to the gym before or after work.  Rinse.  Repeat.

It is so very easy to let this routine carry me, to control me.  To let the routine dictate my life.  To let the job that dominates 40+ hours a week define me.  I do not WANT to wind up in this pattern – but I do.

How do I break my pattern?  How do I choose my own path, and not let the routine dictate my life?  This is the question I have been asking a long time now.  This is the question that leads me to do this weekly blog.

There are many answers to this.  Some are practical.  Some, clearly, less so.  The impractical are the most fun:  Quit my job, sell all my ‘things’, go on walkabout.

The practical – find a more fulfilling job.  Focus on my writing, my small business.  Do things that break my cycle – be it the gym, taking a walk, or some other activity that is DIFFERENT.

But most of all – do things that MAKE ME HAPPY.  Because, when all is said and done – isn’t that all any of us are seeking?  Isn’t the main purpose of walking on our own path to find and do what will make us happy?


This is the fifth in my weekly posts. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

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