The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: writing (Page 1 of 18)

How Does Decision Empower?

Decision has not always been my strong suit.

I have been notorious for being indecisive.  Well, maybe occasionally I fail to make decisions.  Or, maybe I agonize over decisions, and consequently choose not to choose anything, or…

DecisionSo there’s that.  Lately, though, I have been working on doing better with making choices and deciding things for my life.

For example, with the move we are making, many things have been discarded.  Do I need this?  If the answer has been no, then away it goes.  Once the move is complete, when I begin to go through boxes that have previously lived in storage, I will most certainly toss out more things.

I have been something of a pack rat most of my life.  However, as I have come to value more esoteric and intangible things, I find much of the stuff I have doesn’t need to remain with me.  So, look at that, I discard what I don’t need.

This has been a part of my decision issues, I also recognize.  How?  By keeping stuff that no longer serves me, I am not deciding to let go of it.  Stuff accumulates, and before I know it I have all this crap I no longer need.

In working on crossing the bridges between my worlds, one decision that was really important to me was using my name on all the different forms of writing I do.  Fiction or non-fiction, Steampunk or Fantasy, blog or other copy, I use MJ Blehart.  For a while I was having a very hard time with bridging the gaps between the worlds I perceive for myself.  I needed to decide if I should create multiple personae, or bridge the gaps with just the one name.

Decision is seldom set in stone.

Because I have often feared the outcome of a given decision, I have chosen not to decide, or to delay a decision, or to otherwise hedge my bets.  However, they would regularly bring me to a crossroads on the paths I was walking, Pathwalking or no, and something would have to give.

My indecision, over the years, has cost me opportunities, jobs, relationships, even friends.  Mind you, I am not saying that with rancor or regret, just a statement of fact.  Everything that happens along the way is a growth opportunity.  My indecision, as much as my decisions, are how I have come to this place in my life.  Overall, even while seeking improvements, I am happy to be in this place with my life.

One of the reasons behind all my indecision has been fear of change.  As I wrote both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, change is inevitable.  Everything changes, and that is the most constant constant in the universe.  Nothing is truly stable or stagnant, change is a given.

Changes can be pretty scary.  I think it’s the human nesting instinct that causes us to be so resistant to change.  We want to curl up in our comfortable nests, and watch the world go by. At least for a while.  But then, oh, this is kind of boring…and we change our way.

Another important thing about decision and change is that very little of what I decide is permanent.  Jobs can be changed, new opportunities can be sought, there are always new people to meet and things to learn.  Just because I decide a certain way today, it does not mean I am trapped in that way forever.  Or very long at all, really.

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

Decision is empowering.

Pathwalking is about choosing a destiny for myself.  I see the world I want to live in, see what I want for myself, so I choose a path that I believe will get me where I want to go.  There are good days and bad days.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what I choose, my decision could be wrong.  But because I have made a choice, and I have decided, I have empowered myself.

To decide is to define choice.  I am doing this.  When I choose in this manner, I am empowering myself, because I am the one living my life.  Nobody else can choose what is best for me, so when I have gone ahead and chosen, I can get to wherever I want to go.

It’s important for me to remember the power of this.  When I am having moments of indecision, I need to better take action, and decide instead of not.

One of the reasons I created Crossing the Bridges was in order to make a specific decision.  As mentioned before, I wanted all of my writing under my single name.  I still struggle with this at times, but I believe that I made the right choices.

Decision can change the world.  I am working to decide on a more regular basis, and choose the life I most desire to lead.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 47:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this still.

 

This is the sixty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How Do I Express All My Appreciation?

I am not sure I can fully express just how much appreciation I have for each and every one of you who follows my journey.

When I began The Ramblings of the Titanium Don, I had no real direction, and just randomly posted from time to time.  Almost six years ago I started Pathwalking, and with that developed some direction.  Now this entire blog has a purpose, and it is my hope that you’ll stick with me as I explore it.

AppreciationI have spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out who I am.  Identity has always been an interesting challenge for me.  As a small child, I remember spending a tremendous amount of my time alone.  I am not blaming anyone for this, and probably because I was alone I developed the imagination I possess.  With my imagination, I turned that to writing.  My first completed work of sci-fi, Wildfire, was 50 pages and illustrated when I was 9 years old.

When I was a teenager, and finally began to develop a group of friends, I shunted parts of my true self in order to be accepted.  I saw the interactions between everyone, and altered how I acted in order to belong.  Over the years I would lose myself in striving to find acceptance amongst people. As such, my identity got clouded and somewhat confused.

After the accident that caused me to be partially made of titanium, I received an outpouring of support from my friends and loved ones.  The appreciation I have for those who supported me at that time is immeasurable.  After that life-changing event, however, I truly began to explore my identity.  I started to seek out my genuine self in ways I’d never done before.

Self-appreciation is important.

I saw a lot of pieces of myself in this time that I was not so fond of.  There were things I did that were fairly douchey, selfish, and unfair to many people.  Check out The Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office if you want to see just what I am talking about.  Over the next decade-and-a-half I began to seek my true-identity out, and to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

There were many paths I took in order to get to know myself.  I went into therapy (certainly not for the first time) and made use of anti-depressants like Prozac.  There was Zen study, meditation and I did active journaling.  I worked to come to grips with both my good and bad qualities.  Rather than place blame, I worked to take responsibility for all the ways in which I was messed-up.  I have tremendous appreciation for the therapist I was seeing at the time, and the friendships I developed.

For a long time I have had no appreciation for myself.  Frankly, I have often been really critical of who I am.  I criticize my weight, my odd job history, my many failed relationships, my temper, my impatience, and all the rest of my faults.  Focus on my faults of course would depress me, and depression is a miserable feeling.

I began to see that it was of greater import to me to be happy.  Nearly everything I do with my life is part of an effort to find happiness and joy.  With that realization I began to put more effort into knowing my self-identity, and finding new ways to improve my self-appreciation.

Appreciation appreciates.

This is why gratitude is so key to conscious reality creation.  When I have stopped focusing on my faults and imperfections, and instead worked on appreciating my good qualities, my life improved immensely.  I developed the most stable relationships I’ve ever had, solidified friendships, held some good jobs, and have been writing more frequently.

One of the main issues I have had over the years has been insufficient gratitude for the things I have in my life.  I love the people in my life, whether my friends and/or family.  I want to share my appreciation for you all.  As I work on conscious reality creation, I am extremely grateful to have you along for this ride with me.

Crossing the bridges between my worlds lets me have the life I most want to have.  I want to lead a life of joy.  Yes, there are some pretty awful things happening in the world today, but I won’t allow them to overcome my thoughts and feelings.

Feeling grateful for all the people and things I have in my life will generate more positivity,.  This allows for more things to express appreciation for to be brought forth.  I have made this work before, and I know that I can make it work again.

It is important to not get hung up on the things I can’t do anything about.  I need to say thank you, focus on the good things I have, material or immaterial.  I need to seek out more good things.  Doing this will allow for conscious reality creation, and that is important to living the life I most desire to live.

My appreciation for you is a part of this.

I thank you for joining my on this crazy trip.  I hope that by coming along with me on this ride, your own journey across the bridges of your life is a more joyous event.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 46:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this going forward.

 

This is the sixty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

Is This Writer’s Block?

Not sure if I am dealing with writer’s block, or just simply having issues creating a topic today.

Writer’s block can take on many different forms.  Sometimes it’s just a lack of ideas.  Other times a lack of inspiration.  From time to time, it’s a lack of motivation.  Certainly it can be a combination of all of the above, too.

Writer's block?For me, there are times I just get distracted.  Might be a useful distraction, or it might be nothing but a plain, unadorned, pointless distraction.  Whatever the case, it’s important that I recognize when this is happening, and take steps to get away from it.  Letting myself be overcome by distraction is a form of self-sabotage.

Occasionally it’s a matter of self-doubt that is blocking me.  When it’s the blog, for example, I wonder if anybody cares about what I put here?  Does any of this matter to anybody, myself included?  Am I just spinning my metaphoric wheels and not gaining anything from this?

It never ceases to amaze me how one question leads to the next which in turn leads to the next.  There are always more questions than answers.  Of course, that’s life.  When we have no questions, we have nothing to learn, and learning is how we grow.  Learning is how we gain new knowledge, and new tools to let us consciously create reality and manifest our dreams.

Another factor in being blocked is outside influences.  If I feel as though I am doing little to nothing to help the greater good, that can be ultimately disheartening.  In our current social climate, that’s a real challenge.

Like any emotion, how long I let myself be blocked is entirely up to me.

I can break my block.

Like any emotion I can feel, I alone can choose how long to let my block sit with me.  Do I want to lament being blocked and moan about it and let it fester?  Or do I acknowledge it, and try to work out of it somehow?

Life is about choices.  I have chosen to walk my own path in this life, and cross the bridges between the different worlds I perceive that I live in.  I decide how to deal with my block, and like any other feeling I can choose to move away from it.

Guess where this particular post is coming from?  I have spent hours trying to come up with a topic, but nothing has hit.  I haven’t done any other writing or editing today, because I am feeling blocked.  Well, one of the best ways to break a block is to write.  Stream-of-conscious writing may be raw, and not something I would necessarily share, but it will in time break me from my block.

It’s akin to running in place or jumping jacks or any other exercise you do to get your heart pumping.  Banging out words on the keyboard is a mental exercise, and will stimulate the brain and clear out blockage.  It may be just a single step in the process, but it’s better than wallowing in self-pity over being blocked.

Other options for overcoming a block include meditation, some form of exercise to literally get the blood flowing, or maybe grabbing something to eat or drink, because sometimes that’s the problem.  Any combination of these options might also be the answer.

A writing block is something you feel.

It’s imperative to acknowledge that blocked is a feeling.  It feels a lot like frustration, annoyance, disappointment, distress, and even anger all combined to various degrees.  It can feel like guilt, too, because often being blocked is completely nonsensical.  There is often no why, it just is.

Hence why breaking a block is like taking control of and changing a feeling.  Because that’s precisely what it is.  If I feel blocked, I have to take steps to break the block.

I have more than one project in the works currently.  The sci-fi epic I’m really enjoying working on continues apace.  I need to continue to work on Guardians, and I need to return to the edits on Harbinger.  There is my modern alchemist story I started that I should continue.  I blog 3-4 times a week, and it never hurts to get ahead.  There are ideas in my head for some other new short stories I should begin to work on.

There is something new I’m doing to further my goals.  I am joining a group and taking some courses online to help me define myself better as a writer, and as a business.  There are several bits of literature I have downloaded as companions to this, and reading them can help break my block.

I think I have gotten past this now.  I am excited about the possibilities before me, and I think I have new means to create stronger bridges to cross between my worlds.

No room for doubt, I have work to do.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 41:

Diet:  I have not been keeping track this week.

Exercise:  Fenced twice, but that was it.  Knee injury is now identified, and I have let it sideline me a bunch this week.

Writing:  Three blog posts, some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only two days last week, for 8 and 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude.  I have to get back to this.

 

This is the fifty-sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Makes For Success?

You name it, I will write it.   Does this let me be a success?

I love to work on fiction.  I began writing sci-fi at age nine, and I have been working on my fantasy series, The Source Chronicles, for about twenty years.   There is something about fantastic worlds that I just love to write out.  It’s exciting, and frequently invigorating.

Crossing the Bridges 52Almost six years ago I began regularly blogging.  One weekly post has become three, and the theme of the blog more pointedly conscious reality creation.  I love working on my blog posts, Positivity, Pathwalking and Crossing the Bridges, as much as I enjoy writing fiction now.

Then, for added fun, I do different types of professional writing.  I do SEO and web content, resumes, and other business writing like press releases and marketing materials.  While this is not my favorite kind of writing, it is still writing, and still makes me happy.

Currently, I am working on finding new means to promote my works, and to write professionally for more money.

This is a challenging step.  One of the reasons why I call this post Crossing the Bridges is because I see myself writing in three separate worlds.  In one, I write novels and stories of sci-fi, Fantasy, Steampunk and more.  The next world I work on this blog, the three posts to it per week, and now at least bi-weekly posts to my recently revised Author website.  Last, there is the professional writing work, the stuff I do pretty much only for money, because I can.

To write or not to write?  There is no question.

There is, to my mind, a gap between each of these worlds.  They are three totally separate concepts.  Not simply different genres, but my whole approach to each is going to be unique.  How I work on novels is quite different from how I work on these blog posts.  The professional writing is almost entirely unrelated, but it’s still writing.

It is my desire that all three of these forms of writing should earn me money.  I want to maximize my potential, and I want to be able to show the world that I am a successful writer.

Of course, this leads to a wholly different problem.  How do you define success?  This is something that has caused me no end of problems.  Why?  Because all too often my equation of success has been based on what others have implied, suggested, expected, or otherwise told me.

Our society, for example, frequently equates wealth with success.  If one is successful, one has money.  How much money is often a matter of degree, really.  Doctors, lawyers, high-powered financiers, moguls, entrepreneurial business professionals are whom we usually associate as successes.

You are, no doubt, familiar with the notion of the starving artist?  You probably also have heard that writers don’t make a lot of money, in particular novel writers.  Unless, of course, you become a best-seller, or you manage to sell the movie or TV rights to one of your works.  Many well-meaning people throughout my life have told me this.  Often, it’s been meant as “realistic” and “good” and “helpful” advice.

I have written before about well-meaning and well-intentioned resistance.  Naysayers who think and feel that they are looking out for that which is best for you throw a wet-blanket over your dreams.  This certainly makes conscious reality creation particularly challenging.

You get to define success.

The thing is, if you believe that success includes endless money, a big house, a fancy car, any or all of the above, you’re seriously limiting yourself.  When I have made this my main focus, I have found it massively difficult to find satisfaction in anything I have done.

Redefining success can go a long ways towards bringing more satisfaction.  This has, I am sure you won’t be surprised, been a challenge for me.  I have to overcome my rather skewed expectation of success in order to not just say this, but to feel it.

What is success?  For me, I still believe what I grew up believing.  Wealth, which included money and things.  What do I want to be success?  Achievement.  I have had two short stories published in anthologies.  I have self-published two fantasy novels, one Steampunk novel, the first year of Pathwalking, the humorous narrative of the time surrounding my accident, and a novelette written much in the style of Paulo Coelho.  That is eight publications!

Beyond that, I had published many articles for Patch.com, back when they hired writers more than relied on bloggers.  I also had a couple articles published for a magazine, and several advertisements.

Does that say successful writer to you?  Maybe I am not on a best-seller’s list, and maybe I have not sold the movie-rights to something I wrote…as of yet.  But I have published, and I have two more works completed, one of which awaits me editing it, the other is actually with an editor now.  That brings me to ten completed works.  If that’s not success, then what is?

The final challenge: believe it.

Deep down, I still struggle with this.  Why?  Because I still believe the notion that without the lucrative contract or far-broader sales of my work, I am not a success.  I still am listening to the messages of society, and struggling to disbelieve them.

It is important for me to accept that I am a success.  I am a published author, I have incredible friends, an amazing wife, a roof over my head, a decent car, technology and freedom.  I am truly grateful for the things I have and the people in my life.  Feeling successful will empower me to more and greater success.

Every day is a new day.  And every day is a chance for new success.  There is work to be done.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 37:

Diet:  Mostly back on track and writing it out again.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, three days at the gym, one exceptional hike.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; several days of writing in the sci-fi story.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things a day, over 5 days.

 

This is the fifty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Joy Empowers Us

Living in joy is the ultimate goal.

I don’t want to spend my time at a desk, working for someone I might not entirely respect, doing something that bores me.  Life is just too short for that.  Rather, I want to do something that makes me happy.

Have you ever been told that “You have to work for a living” or “you gotta do what you gotta do” or “you have to make ends meet” or similar?  Likely, I suspect you have.  How come we so readily accept that work should be joyless and soul-crushing?

Crossing the Bridges 51Think about it.  Even if you are not working at something that isn’t ideal, how many people do you know that do?  How many friends and loved ones complain more about where they work than not?

How come we accept this?  Why have we decided that it’s perfectly ok to spend the majority of our waking hours being unhappy?

Yes, we can argue about “responsibility” and “being an adult” and on and on.  But consider this: we are only in these bodies, on this planet, for about a century – give or take a decade or two.  While our essence is energy, and will not be destroyed when we pass away, in these meat-popsicles our time is finite.

Not only is our society fear-based, but it’s also lack-minded.  We are inundated with messages that there is not enough, that we have insufficient supplies, that things are lacking.  This in turn leads some to hoard all kinds of things, and deny others because of this mentality.

Joy is a matter of abundance.

The universe is abundant.  Despite our being constantly told that it’s not, it actually is.  We are capable of manifesting pretty damned amazing things, when we get out of our lack mindset.

This is something I have been working on for some time.  I tend to get caught up in the lack mentality, and because of this I have spent a great deal of my life indecisive.  I couldn’t decide what I actually wanted, so frequently made no choice at all.  In my possession are many old journals, where entries from my thirties are all about being down, lacking satisfaction and joy and so on.

For years, I would tell you that my theme song was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.  This applied to my home, job, relationships, spiritual state, financial state, yadayadayada.  I complained a lot,  questioned everything, and felt very alone.

What changed?  I started to take action.  As I have mentioned many times, Pathwalking was borne of a New Year’s Action, to begin to write weekly.  From there, I began to take on this idea of conscious reality creation and making choices.  Lo and behold, I started to experience changes I wanted to see.

I got into a stable relationship.  There was a job I mostly enjoyed.  The SCA continued to provide me with an outstanding social outlet.  I was writing, and began to see works published.  I began to truly pursue my joy.

How come I didn’t do this sooner?  In part, because I believed when I was told “writers don’t make much money” and “you can’t make a decent living as a writer” and similar.  Most of these statements were made to me not maliciously, but “for my own good” and to help me make choices along the way.

Joy is too important to ignore.

We tend to give our pursuit of happiness and joy a lot less attention than we should.  We have accepted the narrative of our society that happiness and joy come in small doses.  While I acknowledge that it’s impossible to live in joy all the time, I still want to experience it more frequently than its negative opposites.

I know that I have to earn a living, that I need to contribute to society in a productive manner, and always strive to do my best.  What I do not accept is that I should spend most of that time discontent.  Must I accept that the majority of my day should be spent doing something that is unsatisfying, and leaves me unable to experience much joy?  I say no.

You can go ahead and call me irresponsible.  I accept that society largely will think I am crazy for working on conscious reality creation to manifest a joyful life.  But when all is said and done, the ultimate goal I believe everyone is in pursuit of is joy.

Changing the lack mentality and fear-based society we live in can feel really daunting.  This is why it starts with each and every one of us.  When I stop feeding the lack and fear machines, and instead empower the abundance and contentment engines, I believe I can help empower others.  It is not selfish to seek abundance and joy for ourselves when we act on sharing it.

Abundance for joy.

I am working on taking a new approach to my day.  When I start to feel like I am lacking, I will actively work on focusing on abundance.  I will use gratitude for the things I have, and see the abundances of my life.  Even the little, easy to take for granted things are a matter of abundance.  Rather than focus on things I don’t have, I will work on focusing on gratitude for the things I have.

Viewing the world as abundant instead of lacking is something we can all do to change it.  We can’t ignore the problems of the world, but instead of lamenting them, we can work on making our own individual lives abundant and joyful.  I think this is totally a worthwhile goal, don’t you?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 36:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, writing it out again.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, one day at the gym, one energetic hike.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; a couple days of writing in the sci-fi story.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things a day, over 5 days.

 

This is the fifty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How does Conscious Reality Creation effect my life?

Our souls are forever, but our bodies are finite.  We only get one shot at life.

I read and listen to a lot of self-help books.  I have read and/or listened to works by Tony Robbins, Jen Sincero, Rhonda Byrne, Stephen Covey, Wallace Wattles, Napoleon Hill, Boni Lonnsburry and more.  The topics range from ideas for how to live life to the fullest, manifestation, controlling our emotions, choosing our own destinies, making money through ways we love, and so on.

LifeAll of them at their core get to the same point.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  Every single one of these authors is saying their own thing, in much the same way most of the world’s religions have the same message.  Be good to yourself, be good to others, stay positive with your thoughts AND feelings, and you can have the world as your oyster.

If we focus on a great deal of the world around us, this feels like total bullshit.  I mean, really, how can we consciously create reality and still live in a fear based society? How, with people spewing hate and greed and intolerance like open spigots, can this possibly work?

That is both the super-complicated yet almost unbelievably simple question.  I have been chasing this question for quite a while now, which is why this blog exists in the first place.

Consciousness Creates Reality

I know, from my own experiences, that consciousness DOES create our reality.  I have managed on more than one occasion to make this work.  When my thoughts were wholly focused on only one possible outcome, it worked.

I healed faster and more completely from serious injuries than the doctors could explain.  I acquired a car when mine was dying and my credit was horrific.  The girl I wanted got naked with me, even though others more attractive, thin and muscular than I failed.  There are always parking spaces for me.

Some of the manifestations I consciously have created are, in the grand scheme of things, rather unimportant.  Except, and this is one of the harder aspects of this to grab, the seemingly unimportant things are usually most important.

We love grandiose stories.  The romance where, through impossible odds, the lovers come together; rags to riches; happy endings.  On the other hand, we accept certain truths about how life is supposed to work.  You work five days a week at a job that might leave you unsatisfied because you have to earn money; there are things not talked about in polite society; there are limits and lack all over.

These authors I read and listen to all point out that, with strong focus and iron will, anything is possible.  While that can feel very hard to believe, I still recognize that it is true, and I have been working on doing better at taking my life where I want it to be.

This life is meant to be abundant.

For much of my life I have decided not to decide, chosen to stand at a crossroads but not pick a path, let fears stay my hand.  Yes, there have been shining moments of brilliance where I broke free of this and decided, and the results were incredible.  Now I am working on making this more of a habit.

We live in an abundant universe, with infinite possibility.  We can have pretty much anything we believe we can have.  But society insists that there are limits, and because we’ve been indoctrinated into that idea, escaping it can be challenging.

All of the authors I read and listen to reject the limited universe.  They embrace unlimited potential, possibility, and passion for life.

Yes, some of what their works contain is a bit hard to swallow.  Some of their approaches are uncomfortable, seem like total crap, and to many espouse hippy-crunchy new-agey gobbledegook.  I agree that a lot of what they say is common sense, or aimed at persuading us to enlist in helping them make more money from what they “preach”.

However, the key tenets and ideas, the notion of conscious reality creation, is at the heart of it.  If you brand it as The Law of Attraction or The Secret or whatever, it’s the same thing.  We are all a part of something bigger, and this is part of what it is.

Beware of false equivalencies.

Conscious Reality Creation and the idea that it can make you wealthy is different from the Prosperity Gospel we hear a lot about these days.  Prosperity Gospel relies on the will of God; Conscious Reality Creation relies on ME.  The former is often blindly followed to the exclusion of many, whereas the latter requires ultimate awareness and self-care.

Frequently, Prosperity Gospel has come to imply that only the wealthy, who have gotten rich through faith and atonement offered to God, are worthy of anything.  It is being used to disempower a huge swath of our society, and furthers one of the divides among us.  Conscious Reality Creation is about self-empowerment, for our own good, and through our empowerment we can empower others.  Prosperity Gospel seems much more concerned with monetary wealth than overall abundance.  These are very different ideas.

This life, spent in this meat-suit, is a singular experience.  Since we are energy at our core, we cannot be destroyed, just transmuted to another form.  While I am here I want to experience all that I can, and I want to live joyfully and find illumination every day.  I continue to work at this daily.  And yes, some days are harder than others, but I believe this is worthwhile.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 33:

Diet:  Mostly back on track.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, time at the gym and a couple days of long walks.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred; I did some work on my sci-fi novel over the course of four separate days.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 6 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on four days last week.

 

This is the forty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How does a non-planner plan?

Making a plan has not always been my strong suit.

I tend to take actions as needed, but planning?  Not so much.

From time to time I will make a plan.  But more often than not, I just go along and do what I need to do.

This is not tremendously compatible with the notion of conscious reality creation.

Make a planTake my writing, for instance.  A friend once told me there are two kinds of writers in the world – planners and pantsers.  Planners will develop detailed worldbuilding, chapter outlines, character biographies and other information before they even start to write the actual story.  Pantsers write by the seat of their pants.  They sit down, and they begin to write out what is in their head.  Along the way you develop character information, the world, even plot information as you go along.

I am a pantser.  I start to write, and along the way I figure out the plot and details of my characters and my worlds and so on.  The Source Chronicles began with a single character and a scene (which in the end appears later in the story as a flashback), then another scene with another character, then another…and then I’m a hundred pages in and the story is developing.

With a few exceptions that is how I write.  One of the wild things about the world of The Vapor Rogues was that, to write the first short story, I had to build a pretty complex world.  The world of The Source Chronicles didn’t get fully fleshed out until I was in the middle of Finder, before Seeker was edited.

The trouble is, conscious reality creation requires planning.

How does a non-planner make a plan?

Despite Pathwalking, the first step I took in developing my conscious reality creation, for over five-and-a-half years, I only recently have started to analyze that my planning skills are lacking.  Sure, I have had ideas for things I want to manifest in my life, but true plans to effect their manifestation have been less forthcoming.

For me, this presents several complications.  I have mentioned before that I tend to get too caught up in figuring out HOW this will all come to pass.  How will I get from this thought I have – I want to be a bestselling author – to manifestation of my idea?  I am feeling it out, I have written the books and published them…so now what?

This is where I have been stuck for a while now.  I know what I want.  I have given it a lot of thought, I have considered and felt what it will feel like to be the success I dream of being.  There have been intentional actions taken, such as editing and publishing my works.  And yet, here I am, barely selling a book or two a week.

This is why it may be necessary for me to consider better my planning.  I can imagine that this will take two distinct forms, but that I need to be careful my planning does not contradict or restrict what the Universe may offer me along the way.

What steps will be involved in my planning?

The first plan has to do with how it will feel to be a success.  I need to sit down and write out what it will feel like to live the life I want.  I’ve written out for myself what it looks like, but not what it feels like.  How will it feel to be working in my home office at my craft?  What will conventions and book signings feel like?  How will seeing my name on the bestseller’s list make me feel?

Once I answer these questions, because of how manifestation works, it’s important that I don’t feel it in the future…I need to feel it NOW.  It has to feel like it’s done, it IS, and that this is the life I have.  That is key to consciously creating reality.

The second plan has to do with what I am doing in the here and now.  This will help me to determine further intentional actions that will allow me to manifest my goal.  I have to plan to take time every day to feel through my thoughts.  I need to envision what my life will look like as if this is the life I am living now.  In doing that I open myself to finding inspiration.  Thus inspired, I gain insight to intentional actions I can take, and from there I give the energy needed to manifest the reality I seek to create.

Writing it out.

Writing out plans and scheduling myself is something of a foreign concept to me.  Yet I can see that this is something that is totally necessary to my wellbeing.  What’s more, this is absolutely a part of the process of conscious reality creation.

The action necessary is to not just say I need to write this out – it’s time to make it happen.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 32:

The goal log has not been fully maintained this week, as I am attending the Pennsic War.

 

This is the forty-sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Why the “How” of things trips me up.

Why does the “how” of it all continue to get in my way?

Two weeks ago I discussed the block I encounter between idea and end goal.  I want to be a bestselling author.  The “how” of the process is what keeps tripping me up, and I think it’s time to dig deeper into why that is.

Conscious reality creation works.  I’ve done it many times, and I intellectually understand it.  One of my greatest issues, though, is emotions, which is part of how I keep stumbling.

exploring the howIn no regard do I blame my parents, certainly not after all this time.  When they divorced nearly four decades ago, to protect myself from feeling hurt and taking undue blame for their divorce, I shunted off my emotions.  I was a smart enough kid to tell the psychologist what the feelings should feel like…but I didn’t actually feel them.  This would go on for over twenty-five years, until a different therapist and I unlocked this matter.

Feelings…nothing more than feelings.

Once I recognized my intellectualization of emotions, rather than feeling them, I was able to start changing things.  Thus I began to work on actually feeling, and from there my life changed.  I started to feel a passion for manifesting what I wanted, I started to approach relationships differently, and this is where I began to build the life I have today.

I have come to believe that while thought and intentional action are important to manifesting things, the key is feeling.  You can’t just think and act on something, you have to FEEL it.  You have to feel certain, sure that it will be.  It is necessary to feel that my thought has been made manifest, and let the Universe deliver.

I always want to know how.

I am a curious person.  Understanding how things work has always been a part of my nature.  There has always been a drive to uncover the truth of things, and to really know “how” the universe works.

There are any number of instances where knowing how things work is useful.  I like knowing how an airplane flies, how my circulation system works, how to change a tire and other information.  But when it comes to manifesting through conscious reality creation, figuring out “how” it works gets in the way.

Simply put, every single book I have read or listened to says the same thing.  You begin with thought, then give that thought feeling, and from there take intentional actions to move things forward.  Simple enough, except often exactly HOW this will work is unknown.

I want to be a bestselling author.  That’s my thought.  I strive to feel what that will feel like, feel how it will affect my life, my moods, my thinking, my finances.  I work to feel it in the now, to really be truly aware of what it feels like.  Then, I take actions that tie in, with the intent of making it manifest.

Questioning how.

How is this going to work?  Then how will I turn my existing work into bestsellers?  How do I make money from this?  Then how do I promote myself to get known?  All of these questions begin with the same word – HOW.  Because I cannot see how to get from where I am to where I want to be, I move forward at a snail’s pace, or less.

The Secret sums up the conscious creation process thus: Ask, Believe, Receive.  Ask for what I want, Believe I already have it, and then Receive it.  I know this is how manifestation works…but I still seek to know more detailed HOW.

Is this a lack of faith?

I am a proponent of logic.  Science and reason offer truth.  However, I am all for faith, but not to the exclusion of reason.  Blind Faith was a great band, but is not a great way to approach life, the universe and everything.

The universe is full of infinite possibility.  My faith in this comes from proof I’ve witnessed with my own eyes, and is not blind.  But my need to understand how, seeking logic and reason in the illogical, causes a paradox that complicates my work to live the life I most desire to.

It all ties into my need to feel more thoroughly.  Faith is a feeling.  I need to have faith that this is possible, and that how it will come about is not something to concern myself with.  I need to feel that this is real, that I have achieved it, and believe that it’s mine.  There needs to be faith that I am capable of manifesting this.  Conscious reality creation.

I know that this will not supplant my need to understand how.  That’s a part of my nature.  But knowing that my preoccupation with “how” interferes with my paths is an important step.  I have become aware of this matter.  Awareness is part of conscious reality creation, so I can work with this to move forward.

Think.  Feel.  Actions.

More meditation.  I need to take more pauses in the day to be truly aware of what I am thinking and feeling, and work on keeping my eye on the prize.  I know I can do this.  There is no need for me to know how, I just need to feel it through.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 31:

The goal log has not been fully maintained this week, as I am attending the Pennsic War.

 

This is the forty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Happens When the “Other Shoe” Drops?

When the other shoe drops, do you pick it up?

I have been anticipating this situation for several months now.  I had hoped to depart on my own terms, but I suspected this was coming.  So it was not much of a surprise.

The job I have held for the past year, and been duly grateful for, has come to an end.  Now my eight hours a day in a place where I was all-too-often bored, and frequently unhappy, is no more.

I am not upset nor angry about this.  Rather, I am seeing it as an opportunity to move my life forward.  Consciousness creates reality, and I know what it is I want to create.  There are bridges I want to cross, and cross them I will.

Since I was let go from the job, I have made excellent use of my time.  A while back I created a schedule I called A Day in the Life – The Life I Most Desire.  In that schedule I laid out my work day (starting at 8:30am), giving myself time for writing and editing, exercise, reading, lunch.  I even gave myself time to goof off in the morning, play games, put my brain in gear at my own pace.

How will this make me money?  That is not what I am currently focused on.  I am concerned with living life in the manner I have long desired, and from this action find everything I need to live as fully as I can.

Can I sustain this?  That remains to be seen.  I am striving to find a way, because this is how I want my life to be.

Can I make money doing what I love?

This is the elephant in the room, the question that most needs to be answered.  Can I work this all out so that I will make money doing this?  How can I make this happen?  Is there a way I can get this blog to make money; more books to sell; other options that involve writing for money?

The first step in manifestation is believing.  Faith, which I mentioned before, is important to conscious reality creation.  Most of all, faith in myself as a creator, and from there faith in the Universe.  Faith in my belief in conscious reality creation and manifestation.

I know that this works, as I have made it work before.  I need to apply it to now, to my life as it currently is, and to become whom I want to be.  To do that I have to think it, feel it, take actions like following this schedule I created to make it so.

The Secret approaches conscious reality creation with different words – Ask, Believe and Receive.  Action for the thought – ask; for the feeling, believe; for the intentional action, receive.  In thinking about this life I want to live, I am asking of myself to become a professional, full-time writer.  When it comes to feeling, I am believing that I have made this manifest.  Lastly, my actions are a reflection of my receiving what I have asked for.

Where do I go from here?

Now that I am not spending most of my waking hours in a place where I was unhappy, I am better able to feel positive, to feel how it feels to succeed at what I want.  Yes, I could dwell on the loss of my salary and changes to my benefits, but in what way will that be healthy?  I instead am making a choice to take this situation and make the very best of it that I can.

Life is too short to spend so much of it unhappy.  How come we accept so readily that this is what work is meant to be?  I know that I need to make money to pay for the things I want and need in life, but do I have to miserable making it?  Why do we so easily accept that at face value?

I think somewhere along the way we, as a society, have lost sight of what we work for.  We are not on this planet for the limited time we get to be here just to go through the motions, we are here to live.  We are here to experience life, good and bad, up and down, in all its amazing glory.  Spending eight or more hours every day in a place that leaves us exhausted, unhappy and stressed does not make any sense.

Yet we all know that we have to earn money, and to earn money we have to work.  The goal is often to earn as much money as possible, and that being the case we will take the jobs that pay the most and offer the best benefits, even when they do not make us happy.  That’s the standard way we do it.

I am not a standard person.

I have never been “normal”, whatever that means.  My life has regularly involved partaking of a different path, a unique way of being – sometimes by choice, but in my youth more often by circumstance.  For example, I didn’t choose for my parents to divorce when it was an uncommon thing in the 1980’s.  It was not my choice to be a part of the relatively small Jewish community in the ‘burbs of Minneapolis, surrounded by a majority of Lutherans.  I chose to pursue theatre in my high school rather than with the local JCC.  Then I chose to be the only graduate of my HS to attend Ithaca College in New York State.

Before I understood intentional actions and conscious reality creation, I frequently did unusual things.  I made choices that were entirely my own.  But due to my lack of understanding about conscious reality creation, I frequently have experienced being the square peg attempting to fit into the round hole.  I need to leave no room for doubt, and create the life I most desire.

Sometimes this is more challenging than not, but I am going to make it work.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 30:

Diet:  I’ve been pretty good this week overall, following a weekend of not as good.

Exercise:  Fencing one day, four days of various exercise at the gym, and an afternoon of swimming.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred; I did some work on my sci-fi novel.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 5 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on five days last week.

 

This is the forty-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How does Finding Good in Bad Things Make Life Better?

Even when things look really bleak, we can still find good in them.

We are living in interesting times, in many ways like the Chinese curse.  There are a lot of people who seem hell-bent on messing with social order, let alone taking away good things for people in the name of politics and money.

Yes, this is mostly a pretty terrible thing.  And yet, there has been good to have come of it.  People are taking more notice, taking more action, and striving to have their voices heard.  We are seeing effort participating in the dialogue, and maybe from there we will see positive change of it.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind.  If we focus on the bad, and we focus on anger, and the things that are negative out there, we will draw more of them to us.  That’s the way conscious reality creation works.  What you focus on, think about, feel about, and act on – you bring out more of.

It’s far too easy to get caught up in this madness.  What terrible thing did the President say or Tweet today?  How much further will Congress erode our democracy?  What is North Korea up to?  If we give this our attention, we energize it, and that will only amplify it, and draw more of it to us.

I know I don’t want that.  I can’t imagine anyone who does.

While it’s hard enough to not let national and international matters steal our attention, what do we do when we have more personal negativity to contend with?  What can we do to find good things in problems we are encountering on a more direct level?

Is there good to be found?

There is always something good to be found in bad things.  Flat tire on the way home from work?  Maybe that kept you from being part of a far worse accident.  Lost your job?  Perhaps it was not a great job for you, and now you can get something better.  Family member dying from cancer?  When they pass, they will no longer be suffering.

Jen Sincero, in You Are A Badass (I CANNOT recommend this book enough), writes about the notion of exploring unexpected and unwanted situations by stating, “This is good because” and taking it from there.  Certainly there will be times this is more of a struggle than other times, but that does not lessen its power to change how you are thinking and feeling.

I am in no way advocating for denial of bad feelings.  We are only human, we are going to have experiences that make us feel bad, and that we would rather not endure.  Everybody gets broken up with, loses a job, fails a test, gets injured, loses family and friends due to anything from disagreements to death.  We are going to have miserable experiences.  Full stop.  However, when this happens – if we dwell on them, keep our focus on them and let them dictate further emotions, we are more likely to gain more bad feelings similar to them.

Another issue with modern society is our tendency to not bother with accountability.  We love to blame, we love to pass the buck, we love to make excuses rather than take responsibility.  You hurt me and you made me feel this way and you make me so angry are all-too-common statements.  Without a doubt, other people can be the catalyst for our feelings, but only we can feel them for ourselves.

Focus on that which you can control.

I cannot do anything about what our government is doing, except to write letters, make phone calls, and vote in elections.  I can spread awareness about injustices, but if I am wholly focused on that negativity, I will only get angrier, frustrated, and draw more ways to feel angry, frustrated and negative overall.

The challenge is to be active, do something productive and constructive, but keep focus on that which you can directly effect.  I can share my own thoughts, try to persuade you to my way of thinking, but I cannot control how you will feel.  Period, end of story.  You, and you alone, feel what you feel, and the same applies to me.

That being written, it’s important to tighten our focus, and take an approach to work with the things we do have control over.  Our individual corners of the universe may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but they are the only aspects of life we have total control over.

Pathwalking is about finding and traversing our own ways in life.  This is not the simplest idea, and there are challenges and obstacles and curves along the way.  Yet rather than letting life happen around us, we are choosing to take charge, and be aware of those things we can control.

We have no control over anyone else’s life choices.  This is why it’s important to be more aware of our own lives, our own existence, and to focus on working with what we have to make the best of the lives we are living.

This is Good Because…

…we get to choose.  This is Good Because we can find almost any path we desire, and take the journey of our life upon it.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  I want to manifest the most joyful, amazing, fulfilling life I can.  I am not a slave to anyone else, I am not beholden to anyone but me when it comes to my feelings.

Yes, it is important to be aware of what’s going on out there.  We need to be aware of this world to participate in it.  But there is a line between being aware and being overwhelmed, and it is so, so easy to cross that line.

Be the best you that you can be.  Walk the path that makes you feel the most good, the most happy, the most accomplished that you can.   When you experience unpleasant, unwanted and negative things in life, choose to process them and let them go; or hold onto them and let them dominate your life, and draw more similar negatives to you.

We are far more powerful than many would want us to be believe.  We are all creators, and we are all capable of manifesting incredible things.  Try to keep that in mind the next time you despair.

What good can you find in bad things you are experiencing?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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