The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: self (Page 1 of 20)

What Changes Do You Want to Make?

Choosing what changes we make for our lives is a key goal of Pathwalking.

The entire cosmos is in a constant state of change.  I think probably one of the only constants in the universe is that everything changes, constantly.

Human nature seeks stability.  We like to know who we are, where we are, and what we are.  As such, there is resistance to change, which can even get pretty violent at times.  Yet no matter how much we want things to just BE a certain way…they will change.

Why is this true?  Because if everything stayed the same, we’d never grow.  Mankind wouldn’t even exist if the ecosystem of Earth hadn’t changed along the way.  There are numerous points of human history that it is best we left behind as we grew and learned along the way.

Recognizing this truth for what it is would probably make the entire world a far better place.  I know I keep bringing this up, but the current positions of a huge number of American political leaders are entirely founded on undoing already-completed change.  They refuse to accept that you can’t go back, in especial to a time and place that only existed in certain-people’s minds.

Other examples include the whole Brexit debacle in Britain, Islamic State extremists across the globe, and climate-change and science deniers.  They see certain changes as scary, economically unsound, or in opposition to their desires, and resist with obstructionism.  Change is stull occurring, and we all get to choose to obstruct or work with it.

In Pathwalking, we look to make choices for the life we want to lead, and as such choose changes to be made.  It’s important to acknowledge that we can change who we are, what we are, and everything else about our individual lives.

 Choosing changes for ourselves is empowering.

I need to do a better job of recognizing that there are many things happening in the world today I can do little or nothing about.  When I get upset about awful things I see happening, my focus goes to negativity, and I disempower myself.  Pathwalking is conscious reality creation, and choosing for myself the life I most want to manifest.

If you are a decent human being, it’s pretty hard to ignore what’s happening to the world at large.  I would not suggest we should ignore it, but we should alter our focus.  Write letters, make phone calls, march in protests, but then work on your own life.  Do the things that will empower you.  Find happiness, joy, and manifest positivity for yourself.

This is NOT a selfish act.  In this fear-based society filled with anxiety, surreal greed and other negatives, it can be challenging to see the difference between selfish and self-care.  When we neglect to care for ourselves, we have far less to give than we realize.  This contributes to stress, dis-ease, illness, and general unhappiness.

I have things in my life I am striving to change.  Rather than just let them happen, I want to choose for myself.  When I work on changes for myself, I am empowered.  When I am empowered, I can do more to empower other people in the world around me, directly or indirectly.

Nobody can change anybody else, unless they allow themselves to be changed.  You can’t help people who do not want to be helped.  But we can do for ourselves, strive to be the best people we can be.  Each of us can choose paths to empowerment, and do more good from those places.

Pathwalking directs changes to manifest better.

Consciousness creates reality.  Rather than just let the world turn around me, I want to have a direct impact on this.  My life is mine, and mine alone.  Yes, I choose to share it in many ways with many different people.  When faced with change, I want to choose for myself where that can and will take me.

I long ago saw three distinct ways to live life.  The first, and most pervasive, is to let life live you.  You go with the flow, things happen around you in their own time, and you do little to choose changes along the way.  The second is to curl up in a ball and wait for death.  This is sometimes literal, but more often than not involves waiting for others to do for you.  It’s about avoiding living in the here-and-now in any number of different ways.  It involves placing lots of blame and letting life totally pass you by.

The third way is where Pathwalking was born.  Grab life like the bull by the horns, and take it for a ride.  You strive to choose what you want for life, decide where to go and what to do.  Changes are made to empower conscious reality creation.  Effort is made to get the most out of life, see if for all its wonders and possibilities.  Live life, rather than let life live you.

There are times this is not easy.  But then, truly, nothing worth having is ever all that easy.  I want to manifest the most joyful, interesting life that I can.  I know that change happens, and even when I am content and want things to just be as they are, changes will occur.  By choosing my paths, I decide the forms this can take.

Make the changes you want for you.

As you are reading this, I am working from Boxhenge.  We are about to move, and this is going to be a pretty big change in my life.  I am moving two hours south, to somewhere rather new to me in many ways.  After over twenty years somewhere within an hour of NYC, now I will be less than an hour from Philadelphia.  Also, for the first time, I will have a full home-office space, and a fairly unfamiliar locale to explore and get to know.

This is both exciting and scary.  It’s a major change, but a welcome one.  We chose it for ourselves.  I can hardly wait to see what new paths will open before me, and what else I can manifest from here.

These are changes I want to make.  I believe they will help me to create the life I most want for myself.  I decided to choose them for myself, and am looking forward to where they will take me.

What changes do you want to make in your life and for your paths?

 

This is the three-hundred-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

How Do I Express All My Appreciation?

I am not sure I can fully express just how much appreciation I have for each and every one of you who follows my journey.

When I began The Ramblings of the Titanium Don, I had no real direction, and just randomly posted from time to time.  Almost six years ago I started Pathwalking, and with that developed some direction.  Now this entire blog has a purpose, and it is my hope that you’ll stick with me as I explore it.

AppreciationI have spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out who I am.  Identity has always been an interesting challenge for me.  As a small child, I remember spending a tremendous amount of my time alone.  I am not blaming anyone for this, and probably because I was alone I developed the imagination I possess.  With my imagination, I turned that to writing.  My first completed work of sci-fi, Wildfire, was 50 pages and illustrated when I was 9 years old.

When I was a teenager, and finally began to develop a group of friends, I shunted parts of my true self in order to be accepted.  I saw the interactions between everyone, and altered how I acted in order to belong.  Over the years I would lose myself in striving to find acceptance amongst people. As such, my identity got clouded and somewhat confused.

After the accident that caused me to be partially made of titanium, I received an outpouring of support from my friends and loved ones.  The appreciation I have for those who supported me at that time is immeasurable.  After that life-changing event, however, I truly began to explore my identity.  I started to seek out my genuine self in ways I’d never done before.

Self-appreciation is important.

I saw a lot of pieces of myself in this time that I was not so fond of.  There were things I did that were fairly douchey, selfish, and unfair to many people.  Check out The Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office if you want to see just what I am talking about.  Over the next decade-and-a-half I began to seek my true-identity out, and to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

There were many paths I took in order to get to know myself.  I went into therapy (certainly not for the first time) and made use of anti-depressants like Prozac.  There was Zen study, meditation and I did active journaling.  I worked to come to grips with both my good and bad qualities.  Rather than place blame, I worked to take responsibility for all the ways in which I was messed-up.  I have tremendous appreciation for the therapist I was seeing at the time, and the friendships I developed.

For a long time I have had no appreciation for myself.  Frankly, I have often been really critical of who I am.  I criticize my weight, my odd job history, my many failed relationships, my temper, my impatience, and all the rest of my faults.  Focus on my faults of course would depress me, and depression is a miserable feeling.

I began to see that it was of greater import to me to be happy.  Nearly everything I do with my life is part of an effort to find happiness and joy.  With that realization I began to put more effort into knowing my self-identity, and finding new ways to improve my self-appreciation.

Appreciation appreciates.

This is why gratitude is so key to conscious reality creation.  When I have stopped focusing on my faults and imperfections, and instead worked on appreciating my good qualities, my life improved immensely.  I developed the most stable relationships I’ve ever had, solidified friendships, held some good jobs, and have been writing more frequently.

One of the main issues I have had over the years has been insufficient gratitude for the things I have in my life.  I love the people in my life, whether my friends and/or family.  I want to share my appreciation for you all.  As I work on conscious reality creation, I am extremely grateful to have you along for this ride with me.

Crossing the bridges between my worlds lets me have the life I most want to have.  I want to lead a life of joy.  Yes, there are some pretty awful things happening in the world today, but I won’t allow them to overcome my thoughts and feelings.

Feeling grateful for all the people and things I have in my life will generate more positivity,.  This allows for more things to express appreciation for to be brought forth.  I have made this work before, and I know that I can make it work again.

It is important to not get hung up on the things I can’t do anything about.  I need to say thank you, focus on the good things I have, material or immaterial.  I need to seek out more good things.  Doing this will allow for conscious reality creation, and that is important to living the life I most desire to live.

My appreciation for you is a part of this.

I thank you for joining my on this crazy trip.  I hope that by coming along with me on this ride, your own journey across the bridges of your life is a more joyous event.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 46:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this going forward.

 

This is the sixty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How Does Self-Doubt Impact You?

Self-doubt and indecision will complicate Pathwalking.

I strive to be less doubtful about who I am, and to do better with making decisions about my life.  Pathwalking is about choosing for myself, rather than letting random chance just happen.

Yet I still question if I am deserving of this.  I doubt myself, my abilities to do the things I want to do.  This in turn can make me indecisive, and I get stuck in uncertainty.

Self-doubt comes from many places.  Perceived failures, discipline or lack thereof, wrong choices, disproven beliefs, mistakes, miscommunication, and a lack of outside validation.  It is unfortunately easy to blame those outside forces for causing self-doubt, but this is totally an inside job.

If I am doubting myself, then it’s all on me.  The only person inside my head is me.  Nobody else can think for me, unless I give up my free will and let them.

As if that’s not enough of a complication, focusing on the things that I am doubting about myself draws more things.  The self-talk in my head is too negative, and as such not very productive.  I berate myself, see my flaws, get upset with mistakes and missteps and perceived failures too easily.

This complicates Pathwalking, because I get focused on things I don’t want for myself, and then of course that will create more of those.  I get more doubtful, and then get frustrated when I am unproductive, and become distracted because I can’t focus.

Self-doubt is a liar.

This is a hard truth to accept.  Your self-doubt is a lie.  It is that nagging voice in your head telling you that you are unacceptable.  This is the voice saying you are worthless.  It’s the brain weasels running around aimlessly, probably giving you a headache.

When we believe the worst of ourselves, we don’t feel terribly good.  This is where depression is born, and the lying black wolf will make us indecisive about all kinds of things.  You start to question decisions, ideas, plans and goals when you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt may be a wholly internal matter, however its cause can be rooted in outside forces and influences.  When you do not receive validation, whatever form that may take, it can be disheartening.  If you are not recognized for your skills and contributions, you may begin to question your value and worth.

This gets even more complicated when the outside forces are loved ones.  If your own family makes you question your value and worth, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.  When your friends tell you things “for your own good” that might upset you, this too can make you doubtful.  That’s particularly rough when they are questioning your choices, and causing you to question them in turn.

Self-doubt can lead to indecision.

When you doubt yourself, you start to doubt your choices.  You begin to wonder if you are making good choices, or bad choices.  As such, this can lead you to either not make a choice, or to be particularly indecisive.

I have spent a great deal of my life in indecision.  Rather than choose wrong, I either didn’t choose at all, or hmmmed and hawed until I either had no choices remaining, or only one choice available.  I didn’t choose to pursue professional radio after college because I doubted I would be able to build a similar life to that which I had in Podunk, Middle America.  No pursuit of a professional theatre career was every truly initiated by me, because there is huge amounts of uncertainty when it comes to theatre and success.  I didn’t put my focus into turning my writing into a career in my twenties because I listened to those who said that it didn’t pay.

The indecision of my twenties and thirties was fueled by my self-doubt, and unsurprisingly my self-doubt was fueled by my indecision.  Because I spent nearly two decades constantly doubting myself and being indecisive, I did not find financial, career, or relationship successes.  I came to believe that I was a failure, and that I didn’t deserve to succeed because of my mistakes along the way.

I began to believe my own doubts were true.  Maybe I was a failure, maybe I was unworthy of respect.  How could I turn this around and change the dialogue?

Turn self-doubt into self-worth.

I have begun to see now that I am a worthwhile individual.  I contribute to the world around me, helping friends and family and even strangers when I can.  There is worth in what I do, and rather than get hung up on long-term and overarching success, I need to see success in the small things in life.

Often this is still easier said than done.  I am currently striking out on my own to find freelance writing jobs and take my existing work to the next level.  With my desire to be a bestselling author, I am working on finding ways to increase sales of my work, and get myself out there.

Now I have the opportunity to live what I have been writing about for almost six years.  Pathwalking is choosing my own destiny, making choices and deciding to have the life I most want.

Self-doubt is a saboteur.  I know that some days I am going to feel like I am not able to do this, and that I lack the discipline.  I allow those who mean well but say upsetting things to get inside my head; negative news well outside my control impacts my thoughts.  This needs to be acknowledged because it is there, and unavoidable.  But, once I have done that, I need to them proceed to let it go.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.  I need to be bold, make decisions, and not let my self-doubt interfere with the paths I am walking.

What do you do when faced with self-doubt and indecision?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How do you recognize if you’re walking the right Path?

How do I know if I am on the right path?

This is probably the most basic, yet most challenging question to ask.  The answer is both amazingly simple, and yet fairly complicated.

Pathwalking is making choices about living life, in order to work to consciously create our personal reality as we want it to be.  Rather than simply going along with life and letting whatever happens, happen; as we walk our chosen paths we strive to be present and aware.  We don’t want to let life just occur, we are working on living life to its fullest.

There is always more than one path.  That’s how the universe works.  If consciousness creates reality, as this blog asserts, then we can choose virtually any path we might desire.  As such, there is more than one “right” path for us.

It’s important to recognize that the idea of “right” is fairly loaded.  Right is often the extreme opposite of wrong, but in this context right is a matter of feeling, desire, and drive.  Further, today’s right choice could be wrong for us tomorrow.

I recognize that that’s pretty vague.  This is because the specifics of what is right for me are not going to necessarily be right for you, or for anyone else for that matter.  “Right” in this particular context is a matter of feeling, belief and faith.

How do I recognize the right path?

The short answer is that the right path will feel good.  It will almost seem like its too easy, and the work you do along the right path feels less like work, and more like play.  It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of time when you are on the right path, because you get so caught up in it you just take action because it’s what you need to do.

For example, when I am writing, and really getting into my work, whether it’s my blog or my fiction or even writing for business, I often just flow with it. Time loses meaning, and I come away from a project feeling complete, content, and like I wasn’t working at all, just doing what feels good to me.

I desire to be writing more frequently.  I am driven to write, and that is how I am certain that this is the path that is right for me.

It feels good.  It feels like it is what I am supposed to do.  That is how I know my path is the right path.  But to really be travelling upon that path, it’s important to believe and have faith.

What’s the difference between belief and faith?

In many respects these are similar concepts, but not in this context.  How does this work, then?  Belief is important to Pathwalking, because if you don’t believe that consciousness can create reality, and that you can choose your own destiny, your own path in life, then you are going to be incapable of living this way.

I believe that I can create the life I desire.  I have made this work before, more than once.  And that is where faith comes into play.

I believe in this…but I don’t necessarily have faith.  I believe, in the abstract, but my faith in my own belief is open to scrutiny, questioned by my own skepticism.  But more than that, what this boils down to is my faith in myself.  I believe that consciousness creates reality, but I have no faith in myself to consciously create it.

If I am responsible for consciously creating my reality, then I need to have faith in myself.  I am the only one who can make MY life what I want it to be.  But if I lack faith in myself, what can I do?

How do you create faith in yourself?

When you believe in yourself, you believe you are capable of almost anything.  We nearly all feel this way as children, but as we get older and we are exposed to certain “realities”, this fades.  We can regain our ability to believe in abstracts, but after that we have to have faith – faith in ourselves.

Skepticism, cynicism, self-doubt, self-recrimination, second-guessing and self-deprecation are all born of a lack of faith.  Despite what you might believe about conscious reality creation, you don’t have sufficient faith in yourself to achieve it.  This is evident if your self-talk is frequently negative, such as I am no good; I am unimportant; I am fat; I am lazy; I fail more often than I succeed; if I don’t joke about myself everyone else will; and so on.  When you speak ill of yourself, it shows a lack of faith in who you are capable of being.

You may not be who you want to be right now.  That’s ok.  One of the reasons to choose Pathwalking is to become the person you most want to be, even if that is not who you are now.  To do that you have to think about it, feel it out, take inspired, intentional actions – and believe in the possibility; have faith in your ability to succeed.  When it feels like you can conquer the world, and you believe in conscious reality creation and have faith in yourself, you will know that are on the right path for you.

Do you have faith in yourself and your ability to choose your own destiny?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

What are challenges vs struggles with Pathwalking?

Pathwalking can be fraught with many challenges.

I long ago came to believe that nothing worth having is ever easy.  But there is a difference between challenge and struggle.  Challenge involves growth and proactive change, while struggle is stagnation and reactive change.  Challenge is deciding to change, while struggle is forced.

Many of the challenges in Pathwalking are due to outside influences, some which we can control and some which we cannot.  Recognizing this is the first step towards working with it, and keeping challenges from becoming struggles.

Further, when you recognize that you are struggling, it is possible to transmute your struggle into a challenge.  This is where taking control of the matters which you can control comes into play.

What is outside of your control?  Other people, situations that are not of your making, world news and such.  Let’s face it…we live in tumultuous times.  There is a tremendous amount of upheaval and reactionary measures happening because people are either making poor choices or no choices due to fear of change.  We can protest, we can vote more wisely, we can choose where and how to spend our money, but we cannot change these people, their actions or how they think, no matter how badly we want to do that.

What is inside of your control?  Everything that is yours in your life.  Your thoughts, feelings and actions, your situations, your mental state, how you use your time and so on.  You are the only person who can think for you, feel for you, act for you.  Nobody else can make you think, feel or do anything you do not allow yourself to think, feel and do.

We frequently give this away without realizing that we are doing that.  They influenced my thinking and she made me feel that way and I only did that thing because you made me do it.  Easy enough to give that power away, but that is a choice, a decision.  The power is yours, but you get to choose if you will take hold of it, or not.

Looking out for yourself is not selfish.

We live in a society obsessed with polar opposites.  Black and white, rich and poor, conservative and liberal, gay and straight, fat and thin, etc.  We are inundated with choices of either/or, when the truth is most people in every way fall somewhere between extremes.

One of these is the notion that if you are not selfless, you are selfish.  As such, we often find ourselves believing that self-care is selfish, so we neglect it to care for others.  Then we wonder why we are struggling, when we have accepted this notion and let ourselves take a second-rate place in our own lives.

When we do not hold onto things for ourselves, and we do not care for ourselves, we actually take away our ability to give to others.  We have to be full in order to have enough to share, and because this is an abundant universe that is not a selfish notion.  We are all unique individuals, and we all have different needs and wants, but no matter what those may be, we all need to care for ourselves.  Putting yourself first is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t ignore that there is a world apart from yourself.  You are the center of your own world, but you are also a part of rather than apart from the rest of the world. That’s an important distinction to remain clear on.

Choose challenge.  Choose change.

Change is inevitable.  It will happen, because that is part of life and growth.  Even when you are standing perfectly still, the air around you is changed by your body heat and your breath.  That is the nature of all things.  So rather than struggle from resisting change, accept the challenges that may come from change.

The challenges of Pathwalking will be different for everyone.  Things I find simple and easy you may find unbelievably difficult, and vice versa.  I am a thinker, and while I am empathic, I have often struggled to understand people who are true feelers.  However, while I can be logical about my feelings, actually understanding the meanings of my feelings can be difficult for me.  Then there are people who are doers – they take actions with seemingly little thought or feeling going into them, sometimes with extreme wisdom and sometimes less so.

Many of the challenges thinkers, feelers or doers will experience may be similar, but they may also vary rather widely.  The thing is to make the choices and decide to work on challenges we face, rather than to let choices and decisions out of our control, and work on struggles that drain us and disempower us.

Pathwalking is empowering.

Despite challenges and occasional struggles, Pathwalking, ultimately, is empowering.  Choosing your own path means that you are working on deciding how you want life to be.  When we decide this for ourselves, we open ourselves to discovering our happiness, and that, I believe, is the thing we most want to know.

When you are struggling, it is always possible to face it head-on and turn it into a challenge.  It may not be easy, but I believe empowering the self is always worthwhile.  Choosing my own destiny and deciding how I want to be I believe is key to living the best life I possibly can.

What challenges do you work with regularly, and how do you approach them?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Why Walk Your Own Path? You Control More Than You Think

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.

This can be a particularly difficult concept to believe, but that doesn’t lessen the truth of it.  You are in control over how you think, how you feel, and how you act.

I know that sometimes it feels like that control is really, really limited.  Truth is, however, that the only limitations are those that you yourself place.  Otherwise, you have far more power and capability to change your life as you would most desire than you probably believe.

I created Pathwalking with the intent of taking control over my life, and creating the destiny I believe I am meant for.  I have long known that the standard courses in life were not for me, and overall I have not taken those particular paths.

One career since college?  Nope, not at all.  I have held numerous jobs, but not followed a single career path until fairly recently.  Marriage in my late twenties or early thirties and raise kids?  Nope, didn’t get married until my early forties, and we’re not going to produce children.  Buy a house, use it to build equity and maintain stability?  While I have been a homeowner, the current plan is to not buy again anytime soon, and rent for the purpose of mobility.

Why am I pointing these out?  Because it is way too easy to let society dictate control over our lives.  We live in a society that discourages us from striking out on our own path, rather than choosing something not-the-normal.  Rather than empower the individual, our society prefers to keep us underfoot, at the whim of our bosses, our religious and political leaders, our supposed superiors.

You are In Charge of You

Nobody is superior to anybody else.  It does not matter if they have more education, more money, more experience or are older than you or more specialized, the only person you answer to, when all is said and done, is you.  The only power anyone else enjoys over you is in place because you have given it away.

That is a particularly hard pill to swallow.  We are so indoctrinated into this idea that other people can control us, that other people can be responsible for our emotions and actions, that we cannot believe this is only true because we allow it to be.  Other people are only able to affect us as much or as little as we allow them to.

For example, let’s say you were in a relationship, but then your partner unceremoniously dumped you.  Yes, you feel hurt, probably betrayed, and upset…but chances are you blame them for hurting you.  They caused you to be hurt, they treated you poorly, and in all likelihood your feelings and opinion of your former partner will only spiral downwards from there.

Yes, it was the action on the part of your former partner that caused those bad feelings.  Yes, it is perfectly normal and totally human to feel hurt, betrayed and upset.  But, you are the one feeling these feelings. As such, you get to choose how long you will hold onto them, and how far along the downward spiral you care to travel.

You are the only one who can feel how you feel.  While there are uncountable outside influences that can and will effect how you feel, you are the only one who actually feels what you feel.  As such, the person who has caused you to hurt only hurts you for as long as you allow them to have that power over you.

Taking another step from here, you and only you are responsible for your actions.  Nobody can make you do anything you do not choose to do.  Yet because our society is so keyed into not being accountable for anything, it is easy to place the blame for bad actions we have taken -outside of ourselves.

Take Back Your Power

When you understand that you are the one in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, you get to choose how much of that control to exert.  You will feel upset for as long as you hold onto it, and you will not take an action that is not of your own accord, unless you choose to and blame it on another.  You are the one who gets to decide.  You get to choose.

You will notice over the coming weeks changes to this blog.  I am studying new ideas to improve what I share here, and that means things will be changing.  Since change is inevitable, happens whether we want it or not, I am exerted control over change, and choosing to alter this how I desire the change to be.

Last week I explained how intention is the reality of control.  Intention is composed of thought and feeling and action, and you are the only person who can control all of your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.  Nobody else can choose for you, nobody else can be in control, unless you allow them to be.  You can keep the power over your thoughts, feelings and actions, or you can give it away in part or total.  That is your decision.

Consciousness creates reality.  Recognizing our own control over the vast majority of our lives, we can be empowered to make almost anything we can imagine of them.  We are free thinkers; we are the only ones who feel the things we feel, however we feel them; we are the only ones who can act on our own thoughts and feelings.

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.  When you recognize this, embrace it and see just how endless the possibilities are before you.

What feels out of your control that you can take back for yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 281 – Intention

Intention is the reality of control.

When you take an intentional action, you have a purpose, and are not just doing some thing for the sake of doing the thing.  Intent means there is a plan to gain something from the action taken.

I have been writing more or less since I began Pathwalking that one of the main reasons to walk one’s own path is to take control of your own destiny.  I want to create a unique, interesting life that I wake up excited to partake of day in, day out.  I don’t want to just let life happen or let circumstances dictate who I can be.  That is why I am choosing my paths for myself.

A lot of people get hung up on the idea of control.  They want to control how things happen in their lives, and often become unhappy when that does not work out as intended.  The thing is, control means nothing if there is no intent behind it.

What does that mean?  What that means is that taking an action for the sake of acting is ineffectual.  It’s the equivalent of igniting the rocket engine but not bothering to steer, and hoping you’ll fly straight and true.  Sure, you’re moving…but are you moving where you want to?

Intentional action is igniting the rocket engine and then steering the rocket where you want it to go.  You are not just acting, you are acting with purpose, with a plan, with a goal in mind.

I want to be in control of my destiny.  That’s a pretty lofty idea.  Along the way there are going to be twists and turns and obstacles and other factors that will change my course, alter my plans, and maybe even shift the destiny I believe I want.  So it is important to work to control only the seemingly little bits that are, and always will be, mine to control.

This begins with thoughts.  You, and you alone, are responsible for your own thoughts.  Yes, you can read things that will give you ideas, and you can certainly talk to people who might influence your thoughts.  But when all is said and done, you are in control.  You are the only one who can think the thoughts in the way that you think them.

The same is true of feelings.  You, and you alone, are responsible for your emotions.  Yes, you can have encounters that will make you feel certain ways, and you will talk to and associate with people who will make you feel good and bad, superior and inferior.  But when all is said and done, you are in control.  You are the only one who can feel the feelings in the way that you feel them.

Frequently, we do not acknowledge this.  We blame society, leaders, teachers, parents, lovers, friends and enemies for making us think and feel certain things.  We give away our power, and we let unintentional thoughts and feelings dominate us.  This can lead to unintentional consequences, and before we know it we are reacting to problems and putting out fires and fighting to regain lost control more often than actually taking it.

This is where intention comes in.  Intention is about first directing your thoughts.  Intention might as well be the initial idea.  For example, mine: “I want to be a best-selling author”.

That is the idea.  So the thought that stems from there leads to other thoughts, which in turn lead to feelings and then to actions.  From the thought of “I want to be a best-selling author” to the feeling of “I will feel fulfilled and happy when I succeed,” then intentionally feeling how that feels; inspired, intentional actions are engaged and movement happens.

These are actions that have the idea behind them, the intent…and intentional action is, just to reiterate the point, not just accelerating down the highway in a rocket-powered car, but steering that car along the road.  That is what intention is, and intention is the key to taking control.

Intention is the reality of control.  This comes from having thought and feeling and direction leading into action.  Acting without intent might get you where you want to go, but still leaves an awful lot up to chance.  If you are seeking your own path, then you want to take every opportunity to traverse it as best suits you.  Being intentional takes in the control that we desire to have.

One important note of caution.  Intent is not the same as knowing how. I have written before about sometimes getting so caught up in the how of a process that I fail to manifest anything.  I have the thought, feel the feeling, take an intentional action, but then wonder how all this will actually get me to my goal.  I will constantly question how the frequency changes and shifts matters to me.  Intent is not knowing the how of the action, per se; it is putting energy into the action to generate the vibrational frequency necessary to attract the goal and manifest the desired outcome.

Conscious creates reality.  We have the power to manifest almost anything we want for our lives.  Once we see how true this really is, we gain an amazing amount of power over our world.  Intentional actions following our thoughts and feelings will let us achieve almost anything we can think of.  Intention truly is the reality of control.

Are your actions intentional?  What intentional actions would you like to be taking?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 280

Balancing living in the now with our overall perception of time is an interesting challenge.

As I concluded last week, I have been thoroughly indoctrinated into the societal obsession with time, and my work to withdraw from that perception is a challenge.  But because I desire to consciously create the reality I most want to have, I am doing anything and everything I can think of to more regularly live in the here and now.

What tools do I have to employ for this process?  That is the question.  Like many such things in life, this is a matter of trial and error.  No one of these works entirely by itself, it is combinations of these I strive to employ as warranted.  Different actions at different times will produce different effects.

What does that mean?  What that means is that while the goal is rather objective, the process is almost entirely subjective.  Situation, mood, weather, location, and all kinds of other factors are going to be a part of when and where tools can be applied.  Some are passive, some are active.

Let’s start with the most active tools.

Meditation.  When I meditate, I bring myself totally into the moment.  Not only am I in the here-and-now while meditating, I also get to connect directly to source energy.  The Powers-that-Be are most readily accessible, because I shut out the world around me and work to be present and still.

This does not require a lot of time, but of late I have been striving for 10 minutes or more per day.  Yet even taking 5 minutes a day can do a body good.

There are several ways to practice meditation.  My preferred method is to sit cross-legged, back against a wall, eyes closed and focused on my breathing.  I like to have some form of white-noise in the background, usually a flowing stream or ocean waves.  I put my attention on my breathing, slowing it as best I can…and when random thoughts flit about like squirrels in my brain I work on not grabbing ahold of them, but refocusing on my breathing.

Other ideas for meditation include visualizing connecting to some sort of internal or external energy source.  Or if you prefer not to close your eyes, focus on a single point, allowing yourself to drift.  Meditation is the ultimate tool to put yourself in the here-and-now.

Exercise.  Whether I lift weights, use an elliptical, walk around a lake, or attend fencing practice, exercising is a great means to put myself into the here-and-now.  I am doing something that is good for the body, which in turn is good for the soul.  Exercise changes breathing, changes heart rate, and frequently puts me in the moment.

Even fifteen minutes of exercise is good for you, while twenty to thirty is scientifically proven to be really beneficial.

Both meditation and exercise also can put you into the zone, or the void, or what Musashi called the “Place of No Mind”.  That is the space where you are entirely in the moment, enfolded within perfect harmony, where time loses meaning and you can almost see and feel everything in slow-motion.  This is the ultimate expression of being wholly in the here-and-now.

More passive tools include:

Questions.  I work to ask myself, several times a day, How Am I?  What am I thinking?  What am I feeling?  Am I thinking about things ahead of me, or in the now?  Am I feeling abundant?  Just asking these questions causes me to be aware, and awareness draws me into the present.  I write out my answers between three and five times a day.

Mantras and Affirmations.  Having a simple mantra, no more than a word or two, and repeating it several times a day opens awareness, and places you in the present.  Similarly, a longer affirmation can have the same effect.  The difference between these, as I understand it, is that a mantra is more general and over-arching, like Abundance or Om or Peace or Love and so forth.  Affirmations are more direct and specific statements, like I am a money magnet or I am a successful writer who inspires and empowers people.  Saying these, reading these places you in the present, which then allows you the best opportunities to successfully manifest whatever you are seeking.

Take time for yourself.  Get offline.  Step away from your desk.  Leave your mobile devices behind.  Go somewhere you can be entirely by yourself, preferably somewhere you can breathe deep and collect your thoughts.  Modern society keeps us constantly connected to one another, but this actually serves to distract and isolate us more than truly connect us.  Getting lost online or playing a game or conversing via text with a friend can be a nice distraction, but actually serves to mask our awareness.  It is not, in my opinion, dissimilar to using alcohol or opiates to mask pain.

I am not saying it’s not good to have occasional distractions.  It is important, however, to be aware of what they are, and the difference between awareness of the here-and-now and distraction.

Time is not our enemy.  Time is not a ravenous wolf that will one day catch us and destroy us.  Time is not against us.  Time is not beating us down…unless we choose to let it.  Time is only linear if we perceive it as such.  Living more in the here-and-now can help us escape the societal obsession with linear time, and when we better see that time is an illusion, we gain an incredible tool to allow us to consciously create reality.

We have plenty of tools to choose from, and we get to choose when and how to employ them.  How do you most frequently perceive time?

 

This is the two-hundred eightieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 279

Finding the balance between living in the now and setting goals for the future is uniquely challenging.

Pathwalking is about taking control of your destiny, and making choices along the path of life to manifest what you want from it.  This is not just living life come-what-may, like so many people do, but instead making decisions, making choices about raising your vibrational energy, and manifesting a life you want to live.

Why bother?  Because I don’t know about you, but I want to wake up in the morning excited to face my day.  I want to enjoy every moment of my day, not spend long periods of it wishing I were elsewhere, or doing something else, or being someone I am currently not, but could still become.  We are here in this reality to learn, to grow, to be the most we can be.

While one can certainly take an aimless journey along a given path, having a goal gives us a reason, gives us a purpose, gives us something to strive for.  Maybe it will make us better, maybe it will make us more abundant, but ultimately it’s probably something that will make us happy.

Yet, in order to get from here to there, it’s insanely important to live in the now.  While this may seem like a contradiction, it’s actually the key to success.

Let’s go with my goal.  I intend to be a best-selling author.  Great, I have the goal at the end of my path.  Now, here and now, what thoughts, feelings and actions can I take to get to that goal?  It is important I do not neglect the present, because this is where I am; yet it’s equally important that I do not get lost in the past, hashing over matters that I wanted to change or do differently.

Time is relative.  Einstein taught us that time is illusionary, and that our perception of it is unique to ourselves.  I got into this further in a recent Crossing the Bridges.  However, current reality is the product of past thought, feeling and action.  That’s simply the way it works, we are who we are based on how we thought, what we felt and how we acted before now.

To get to where we desire to be in the future, it’s important to be aware of how we are thinking, feeling and acting in the now.  This will allow us to direct our energy, to raise vibrational frequency, and to consciously create our desires.  The past is past, simple as that, and only by working with awareness here and now can we affect the outcome for the future we wish to manifest.

BUT, of course, the danger is focusing on that future and neglecting the present.  If you lose touch of where you are RIGHT NOW, because you are focusing on the outcome, life continues to live you, and you give control away.  Your subconscious can create your reality, but chances are you will not get what you most want.  This is why awareness, consciousness of here and now, is the key to manifesting the desired outcome.

Yes, we need to learn lessons from the past, because those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it.  Yes, we need to visualize the future as if it’s already here, but that is not about daydreaming as much as bringing the idea into your awareness, HERE AND NOW, to make it part of your consciousness.  Once we think and feel the desired outcome as though it is already a part of our here and now, a part of our current awareness, then we give it the vibration and energy to consciously create reality as we most desire it.

That’s crazy, right?  Except by living in the now, while envisioning the desired outcome in the future ALSO in the now, we empower our potential, and increase the energy needed to consciously create just that.  That is, of course, what Einstein was talking about.  When we understand, really understand, that time is wholly based on our individual perception of it, we get to choose to take control of it, or be a victim of it.

We frequently blame time for lack, for limitation, for failure.  But time is an illusion.  Any lack and limitations we put on time are entirely of our own doing.  Which means we have the power to choose for ourselves how best to use time.

One major issue in all of this is society.  Our society is absolutely obsessed with linear time.  Our entire culture frequently gets hyper-focused on matters of linear time, so much so that we have created precision atomic clocks in order to measure its’ passing.   We are always looking at time in straight lines, viewing yesterday, examining tomorrow, calling ourselves too old or too young, saying we are running out of time, time marches on, and so on and so forth.  Is it any wonder we are so easily distracted from living in the now?

Here’s the real kicker in all of this.  I do not know the best way to live in the now.  I have been thoroughly indoctrinated into the societal obsession with time, and my work to withdraw from that perception is a challenge.  But because I desire to consciously create the reality I most want to have, I am doing anything and everything I can think of to more regularly live in the here and now.

What tools do I have to employ for this process?  That is a question I will examine further next week.

Do you live in the past, future or present most frequently?

 

This is the two-hundred seventy-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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