The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: reactions

What Do You Take-Away From This?

What you take-away from a less-than-desirable situation is important.  Seeing the good you learned from the bad is the key to this.

We all have bad experiences.  There are going to be things that happen that are infuriating, complicated, difficult and unpleasant.  Life cannot always be perfect.  Frankly, if it was, I think we’d all get really really bored of it.

When bad things happen – and they will – what you take away from them is important.  If you find yourself angry, resentful, distressed or feeling otherwise negative, that will impact you negatively.  However, if you can find good that has come of it, you can generate positivity instead.

What you take-away from any given situation is actually totally yours to control.  Since you are the only one inside of your own head, you get to choose how you feel after anything good or bad happens.

Certainly there are automatic and gut reactions to things.  You get angry, you get hurt, you feel annoyed by what happened.  In the moment, hard not to feel such.  But, after that, you choose how long you hold onto it.  You get to choose how far you take that feeling.

As such, if you are feeling negative about something initially, when you focus on that, you’ll get more.  Consciousness Creates Reality, so focus on what you don’t want, you will create more of it.  This will manifest further bad feelings, and complicate whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

A thing happened.  It produced a negative response and emotion in you.  The take-away is entirely yours to choose.  Acknowledge it, then let it fester and likely draw more negatives…or acknowledge it, and figure out what you can learn from it that’s a positive.

Initial reaction is not what you take-away, unless you choose that.

First, let’s make note of a couple things.  We all make mistakes.  Everybody screws up from time to time.  What’s perfect about everybody is that nobody is perfect.

The bad or annoying or unfortunate thing has happened.  Made me feel negative.  Yup, that’s how it is.  Now, what have I learned from it, and what can I take away from it?

Let’s explore a couple examples:

  • You have credit cards in collections because you rang up too much debt. What is your take-away?  Negative: I am a total screw-up, and a failure.  Positive: I now know I need to be more responsible with my money. 
  • Your relationship/marriage/partnership failed. What is your take-away?  Negative: I suck at relationships.  I never get it right, I am unworthy.  Positive: I learned what does not work in a partnership for me, and can work to avoid that in the future.  I am wiser and worthwhile.
  • You have a crisis, great or small, to deal with. What is your take-away?  Negative: Why do I always have to deal with this crap?  Why me?  Can I just live without an emergency?  Positive: I am the eye in the middle of the storm.  I can handle anything, and am stronger because I know what I am capable of.  I’ve learned something useful from this.

You get to choose just what it is you take-away from everything that happens to you.  That being the case, you get to decide if you want to hold onto and create more negativity, or let-go of the negative and create positivity.

Take-away what you want to manifest.

Conscious Reality Creation means that we strive not to be a victim of circumstance.  Things can and will happen outside of our control, but that does not mean we have no ability to react to them at all.

Emotions are entirely on you and me.  Nobody but you can feel what and how you feel, and as such nobody can make you feel a certain way or no.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves.  I know that I prefer to have some modicum of control over the life I am living.  Every situation is going to present you with a chance to have a take-away, but what that will be is up to you.

This week, for whatever reason, has been rough for me.  Not sure why, but I have had a hard time focusing and achieving what I want to.  I was sleepy, and could not easily concentrate on writing and editing.  Some things got done, but not as much as I wanted.

That was Monday.  When Tuesday rolled around, and I felt much the same, I began to get upset.  I was angry at myself for being lazy.  This in turned led to self-annoyance with my inability to achieve what I had intended to do, and I was getting down on myself for ever perceived misstep.

Last night I reconsidered what my take-away was.  Rather than berate and ultimately self-sabotage myself, I now know I can work on means to improve my focus, and to accept that we all have off days.  I can choose to stop seeing what is not working in my life, and focus instead on what is.

Conscious reality creation goes deep into one’s core.

To manifest what you want from life, it can’t just be a side thought, it has to be your only thought on the matter.  When I was recovering from injuries all I focused on was total healing.  All conscious reality creation works from complete, hyper-focus.

Today I am feeling the best I have in a while.  Staying mindful of the take-away from my situation is doing wonders for my psyche.

What have you taken-away from your life situations?

 

This is the three-hundredth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

Pathwalking 90

We all want to be appreciated.

Whether it is something little or something big, we all want to be acknowledged.  We all want to feel that our efforts and works are appreciated.

The power of gratitude is important to our own ability to do and to have things, but we cannot deny the power of appreciation.  We need to be grateful for things, but we also need to be acknowledged and appreciated for the things we do.

I know no one who does not appreciate hearing “Thank you!” or “I appreciate that” or “That was really great of you” or “Dude, you rock!”  The appreciation, whether for an act you have performed or a job you have done or simply for you being you goes a long ways towards how you feel on a daily basis.

I have said many times throughout Pathwalking that we are each responsible for our own feelings.  No one “makes” us feel a certain way, though it is undeniable that the actions of others and outside influences will affect how we feel.  We can choose how to let things phase us, and we can choose whether to let a feeling an outside influence produces linger or be let go.

One of the worst feelings you can have is feeling unappreciated.  In especial when others around you are being shown appreciation, and you are not.  Whether you watch someone you consider a peer receive some sort of award or recognition that you feel you also deserve, or whether someone you have been partnered with is thanked and you are not, there is nothing more disconcerting than feeling unappreciated.

Worse, the feeling of being unappreciated can very easily spiral into darker, even more negative places.  It is not hard to go from feeling unappreciated to feeling disconnected to feeling unloved to feeling unimportant to feeling sad to feeling angry to feeling hopeless…you get the idea.  And we have all been there, haven’t we?

The first thing we have to acknowledge about this is this:  You can do nothing to change how others appreciate you, or don’t.  Once the act of appreciation or neglect has happened, it is done.  Attempting to change it is a waste of time and energy.  All we can do is accept it and move on.

Hold the phone.  No.  I worked hard on ‘x’ or I gave an incredible amount of effort to ‘y’ and I want that acknowledged!  I will not accept this disregard!  I know that feeling, and I am here to tell you that, sorry, this instance is over.  It has happened, and you cannot go back and change it.  All you can do is accept it, and move on.

Now that is not to say that you do not have the right to feel hurt, to feel angry, to feel dismissed, to feel neglected, to feel unappreciated.  We are human beings, and this is a part of our nature.  And since we need appreciation, when we do not get it it hurts.  That sinking, disquieting sensation in your chest is extremely unpleasant, and it feels awful.  I am not telling you to ignore the feeling, because you simply cannot.

What I am suggesting here is not to hold onto it for too long.  We have control over how long we will let that terrible feeling linger, and we can choose to let it settle into our being and fester for hours, or days, or weeks, or months, or what-have-you.  Holding onto that unhappy, negative sensation does not serve you.  It does not let you move forward, it is a roadblock, an iceberg, a canyon with no way across, and it will make your path non-traversable.

Let the feeling happen, because you cannot stop it.  But you can choose to not hold onto it for too long.

What comes next, though, is key to continuing to walk your own path.  What do you do with regards to the person or persons who did not appreciate you?  Do you continue to do good work even though you are not feeling appreciated for what you do?  Do you do less?  Do you do more?  Do you lash out, and seek retribution for the hurt you have received?

Here are my thoughts on these important questions.  First, and most importantly, whether you receive appreciation or no, you should not stop being you.  You should continue to act as you act, within your own nature, no matter if you receive acknowledgement or no.

What if what I was doing I was doing FOR the person who did not appreciate me?  Do I have to keep doing what I was doing?  If it no longer makes you feel good, and it no longer serves your path in life, then by all means move on.  What you should NOT do is lash out.  You should not belittle or show a lack of appreciation in retaliation for the slight you have received.  That will only make things worse.  Remember, negative acts beget negative acts.  You have to break the cycle or it will continue.

In that vein comes the even more important part of this.  If negative begets negative, then conversely positive begets positive.  If you want to get appreciation, SHOW appreciation.  And we circle back to gratitude.  But this is not gratitude for your own things, you own place in life, this is gratitude for other people.  This is showing the same appreciation you wish to receive.

Remember to thank people.  Remember to compliment people.  Remember to show people that you appreciate them for what they do, and who they are.  Appreciation is a two-way street, and when we give it, we get it.  Yes, this is much harder after you have been slighted, but that does not mean it should be neglected.

Let me conclude with this:  I sincerely appreciate you.  Whether I know you personally or otherwise, whether you agree with the things I write here or not, I appreciate you.  Thank you for reading, thank you for letting me share these thoughts and ideas with you.  You are wonderful, and I cannot express to you enough how grateful I am for your time.  You, dear reader, are an awesome person.

THANK YOU!

 

This is the ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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