The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: publishing

How Do I Express All My Appreciation?

I am not sure I can fully express just how much appreciation I have for each and every one of you who follows my journey.

When I began The Ramblings of the Titanium Don, I had no real direction, and just randomly posted from time to time.  Almost six years ago I started Pathwalking, and with that developed some direction.  Now this entire blog has a purpose, and it is my hope that you’ll stick with me as I explore it.

AppreciationI have spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out who I am.  Identity has always been an interesting challenge for me.  As a small child, I remember spending a tremendous amount of my time alone.  I am not blaming anyone for this, and probably because I was alone I developed the imagination I possess.  With my imagination, I turned that to writing.  My first completed work of sci-fi, Wildfire, was 50 pages and illustrated when I was 9 years old.

When I was a teenager, and finally began to develop a group of friends, I shunted parts of my true self in order to be accepted.  I saw the interactions between everyone, and altered how I acted in order to belong.  Over the years I would lose myself in striving to find acceptance amongst people. As such, my identity got clouded and somewhat confused.

After the accident that caused me to be partially made of titanium, I received an outpouring of support from my friends and loved ones.  The appreciation I have for those who supported me at that time is immeasurable.  After that life-changing event, however, I truly began to explore my identity.  I started to seek out my genuine self in ways I’d never done before.

Self-appreciation is important.

I saw a lot of pieces of myself in this time that I was not so fond of.  There were things I did that were fairly douchey, selfish, and unfair to many people.  Check out The Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office if you want to see just what I am talking about.  Over the next decade-and-a-half I began to seek my true-identity out, and to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

There were many paths I took in order to get to know myself.  I went into therapy (certainly not for the first time) and made use of anti-depressants like Prozac.  There was Zen study, meditation and I did active journaling.  I worked to come to grips with both my good and bad qualities.  Rather than place blame, I worked to take responsibility for all the ways in which I was messed-up.  I have tremendous appreciation for the therapist I was seeing at the time, and the friendships I developed.

For a long time I have had no appreciation for myself.  Frankly, I have often been really critical of who I am.  I criticize my weight, my odd job history, my many failed relationships, my temper, my impatience, and all the rest of my faults.  Focus on my faults of course would depress me, and depression is a miserable feeling.

I began to see that it was of greater import to me to be happy.  Nearly everything I do with my life is part of an effort to find happiness and joy.  With that realization I began to put more effort into knowing my self-identity, and finding new ways to improve my self-appreciation.

Appreciation appreciates.

This is why gratitude is so key to conscious reality creation.  When I have stopped focusing on my faults and imperfections, and instead worked on appreciating my good qualities, my life improved immensely.  I developed the most stable relationships I’ve ever had, solidified friendships, held some good jobs, and have been writing more frequently.

One of the main issues I have had over the years has been insufficient gratitude for the things I have in my life.  I love the people in my life, whether my friends and/or family.  I want to share my appreciation for you all.  As I work on conscious reality creation, I am extremely grateful to have you along for this ride with me.

Crossing the bridges between my worlds lets me have the life I most want to have.  I want to lead a life of joy.  Yes, there are some pretty awful things happening in the world today, but I won’t allow them to overcome my thoughts and feelings.

Feeling grateful for all the people and things I have in my life will generate more positivity,.  This allows for more things to express appreciation for to be brought forth.  I have made this work before, and I know that I can make it work again.

It is important to not get hung up on the things I can’t do anything about.  I need to say thank you, focus on the good things I have, material or immaterial.  I need to seek out more good things.  Doing this will allow for conscious reality creation, and that is important to living the life I most desire to live.

My appreciation for you is a part of this.

I thank you for joining my on this crazy trip.  I hope that by coming along with me on this ride, your own journey across the bridges of your life is a more joyous event.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 46:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this going forward.

 

This is the sixty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Have I Done With Challenges?

Some challenges are better than others.

As I have mentioned before, the reason why this blog is called The Ramblings of a Titanium Don is due to two reasons. A title I get to assume from the Society for Creative Anachronism (the medieval re-enactment society I’ve been a part of for over 25 years); and the three titanium plates holding together my right clavicle.

Me, NYE 1999/2000. I am in a wheelchair in this picture.

In case you missed this: On the last day of November, 1999, I was struck by a car crossing a street a quarter-mile from home.   I suffered pretty severe injuries to my right leg, right clavicle, and nerve damage to my right arm.  What followed was a year of serious recovery and therapy, and some pretty wicked scars.

Yes, it was a hit-and-run.  No, they never caught the driver.  Now, nearly 18 years later, unless I show you the impressive scars (or you manage to hit the titanium plate with a sword while fencing against me) you wouldn’t know how broken I was.

Important life lessons were learned.

As I was starting my recovery, I discovered that there were three primary ways to live life.

  1. Go with the flow.  Let life live you.  Go about the routine, let time have its way with you and the natural ebb and flow of life carry you along.
  2. Curl up in a ball and wait for death.  Don’t experience life, complain about everything, blame everyone else, pray for the afterlife but mostly avoid this lifetime.
  3. Grab life like the proverbial bull by the horns, and take it for ride.  Make choices, take chances, fight and push and manifest what you desire.

I quickly learned that I preferred option 3.  My recovery surprised and delighted my therapists, my doctors, and my family and friends.  I defied expectations of both the speed of my recovery, and the totality of it.  It was during this period of my life that I came to recognize the power of consciousness creating reality.  I knew only one option.  There was no other choice.  I would walk again normally, I would fence again.  Hell, I would even run again with a fused tibia/fibula in my right leg.

This incident would redefine my life.  Over the course of the next decade and a half I shaped my life philosophy, and majorly embraced conscious reality creation to manifest my desires.  It’s not been without its struggles, and challenges, but it has redefined me in all sorts of unexpected ways.

Using the past to improve the present and future.

Every November there is a wonderful contest called National Novel Writer’s Month (NaNoWriMo).  The challenge: Compose a 50,000 word novelette in 30 days.  The prize:  The satisfaction of completing such a work.  I have faced this challenge several years, and completed a couple works (such as Vortex Pilgrimage).

In 2006, my second attempt at NaNoWriMo, I was debating what to write.  Several friends suggested that I should write out the story of my accident and recovery.  In particular many of the bits that had become some pretty funny stories years later.  I think we determined it might be an inspirational and humorous read for people.

This took my out of my comfort zone in several ways.  I was working a genre I did not normally do.  At that time I wrote sci-fi and fantasy more-or-less exclusively.  I also determined, because of the nature of the tale, to write in first person.  I normally work in third person perspective.

Most of all…there was a LOT of potential for embarrassment.  Yes, on the one hand I had this amazing recovery going on.  On the other, I was doing some rather uncool things (like cheating on my girlfriend).  How would this be received, not only by those involved in the story (even with the names changed), but by anyone who read it?

The very definition of Crossing the Bridges.

Suffice it to say, I wrote the story out.  I gave it an edit or two, and when I put up my author page, I included it in PDF for download.  When we first started dating my wife read it…and despite my less-than-chivalrous actions portrayed in the story, she stayed with me.

For a long time I have resisted sharing this.  Even though I have been told by several who read it this is one of my best works, I’ve been uncomfortable with taking it to a wider audience.  One reason is because I feared it might actually BE one of my best works.

What’s that all about?  Well, for a long time I was a sci-fi and fantasy writer.  It was these genres in which I most wished to be known.  I had a hard time wrapping my head around the notion of becoming known for anything else.

I am getting over that.  Hence this blog, and hence why I have finally have edited, and subsequently published The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office.

A sordid, funny, hopefully inspirational tale.

I hope you will consider getting a copy of my book, read, enjoy, and please review it!  I poured more of my heart and soul into this particular work, and told the story as truly as I could.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 28:

Diet:  Onwards and forwards.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, two days of a single lap around the small lake.  One day with a ton of walking.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 6 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on three days last week.

 

This is the forty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

My next novel

I am in the process of editing my next full-length novel.

This is a follow up to the 2nd short story I wrote that was published in the anthology Spells and SwashbucklersThe Vapor Rogues is my Steampunk/Fantasy story, for which I built a really detailed world.

Stampunkfinal-MW

The world I created was so rich that I felt the need to expand upon it.  As such, I have completed a first novel for a Steampunk series.  Clouds of Authority – A Vapor Rogues Novel will be available in early May.  Further, I will be doing a reading from the novel at the Steampunk Worlds Fair in Edison, NJ on the weekend of May 13th – 15th.

I will be sharing more details about this here, soon, though there is some information on the world (along with some crude drawings and other art) to be found at my Vapor Rogues website.

Here’s the thing.  This is a traditional novel, and will probably be in the neighborhood of 450 or so pages long.  I have come to realize, though, that I could easily split it into two parts and share it that way.

SO, I am asking, as readers, what would YOU like to see?  Please take a moment and fill out this poll:

Thank you for your continued support!

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