Loss is a part of Pathwalking.
Because life is ever changing, and because we are not static creatures, we will experience losses along our paths. Some are good for us, some less so. The hardest loss to take is that of a friend or loved one.
When we lose people, grief is different for every one of us. In a society where we often look at the “norms”, how we grieve is one of those things that no two people manage the same.
Some people go numb. Others get really angry. Depression and sadness are typical. Almost any emotion you can think of may come from loss. There is no right or wrong way to feel this, even when you might feel nothing.
This week has been a challenge because I have lost two people who held different places in my heart. The world has dimmed some due to their absence from it.
I know how I handle grief is unique to me. Overall, I think about the impression people have made on me when they were here. Yes, I will miss them, but I tend to give most of my energy to remembering the good moments I was fortunate enough to share with those I have lost along the way.
For me, there is a detachment that comes of my grief. I tend to take a more clinical approach to my losses, and while I am sad that someone is gone from my life, I think because of how I see everything as energy, I don’t think of them as truly lost.
“Luminous beings are we…not this crude matter,” Yoda said. And I believe that is the truth. When we leave these earthly vessels, we become a new form of energy. As such, nobody is truly lost.
Grief over loss, whatever form it takes, can alter our paths.
Often, when we suffer a loss, it will cause a certain amount of reflection. When it is a permanent loss, such as death, this can shift how we approach our path in life.
Expected or unexpected, losing a loved one can create a pretty major change in how you continue on. Everybody needs time to adjust to such a change, and when we are understanding of this we can be of the most help in these times. Some adjust quickly, some not so much.
Whether or not a loss alters the paths you are walking, it is important to keep moving forward. It is my belief that the people we care about and lose would most want us to keep on in their absence. They would want us to continue living, growing, and choosing paths for ourselves.
Again, I am not in any way discounting grief. My point here is that it’s important to still go on, keep living our own lives, and let the memories of those we have lost strengthen us.
It is my belief that everyone we encounter in our lives serves some purpose. Friends, lovers, acquaintances, coworkers, even random drivers who cut us off on the highway teach us things. They enter into our lives for a finite period of time, and have some sort of impact on us.
Losing the people we care about also impacts us. The light that they shared with us is gone. But I like to remember that the fire has only dimmed, because they will live on in my memory. Whether this will impact my path or not, I will occasionally turn my eye to that fire, and let the memories warm me.
Loss can provide strength.
In the immediate aftermath of a loss, we feel grief, hurt, anger, numbness, frustration, rage, depression, fear, and/or any combination of these. We can and will experience almost any conceivable emotion. When we accept this, and let the feeling flow through us, we can let go of what we do not need and hold onto what we do.
Consciousness creates reality. Because we have control over only our own individual existences, things can and will happen that will throw us off. We will find ourselves focused on things that are negative. These feelings are no less valid, unless we let them dominate and control us.
Nobody’s life is entirely absent of negativity. In part this is because we need to feel the bad to appreciate the good, and everything in between. Whatever form grief takes for you, in time it will fade. It may always leave a pang, because there is a hole in our hearts from these losses. But we can and will go on.
Sometimes loss will strengthen our resolve. We want to do better than we are now. It can cause us to choose to live bigger, love deeper, and take on the world in order to best effect it. In the memory of those who are gone, we can improve ourselves, and feel more empowered to control our lives.
I will miss the two I lost this week. But I know that both would encourage me to continue on with my dreams, my goals and aspirations. I will do everything I can to be the best me I can be, and honor their memories.
How do you handle loss?
This is the three-hundred-sixteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life. I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.