The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: peace (Page 1 of 35)

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Why I take Racism and the Like Personally

Though what happened in Charlottesville last weekend did not have a direct effect on me, it is still something I take personally.

Taking it personallyCrossing the Bridges is where I get the most personal, and this week in particular I need to address what I am seeing in this country.

I was born and raised Jewish.  Though I don’t practice the religion at this time, I DO culturally consider myself a Jew.  I am proud of my heritage, and it means a lot to me to be a part of the tribe.

The marchers in Charlottesville represent hate towards me for no reason other than the culture I was born into.  Full stop, that’s the simplicity of this.  And I am not the only one that their message is targeting.

My brother-in-law is black.  My niece is thus bi-racial.  I do not want to see her suffer because she is Jewish, black, and female.  The haters who marched and those who support them will not look too kindly upon her.

That’s the reality of this situation.  The so-called “alt-right”, and their allies in the KKK and neo-Nazis want to watch my family burn because we are not like them.  That is the ugly, unvarnished truth of this matter.  And I cannot help but take this personally.

Five to six million Jews were slaughtered in the Holocaust.  That is a fact.  I will not stand idly by and watch this happen again, not to anyone.  That is why I am writing these words today.

Take a stand.

The United States of America is a land of freedom.  The first amendment protects the right to free speech.   As such, these haters can march and they can protest.  They can assemble and do everything in their power to make people like me fear them.

Yet free speech applies to all of us so-called minorities, too.  We can march and we can protest.  We can assemble and do everything in our power to show these terrible people they will not make us live in fear.

The white supremacists and their allies are NOT the majority.  They are loud, they have monetary sources, and many of them are armed.  Yet the rest of us are the actual majority.  Those of us they stand against – black, Jew, Muslim, Hispanic, Indian, female, transgendered – we are the majority.

Non-violent protest has been proven effective time and again.  So we need to take our stand and unite against this angry, bitter, fearful foe.  We need to counter their protests with sit-ins, non-violent marches, peaceful rallies, and messages such as this empowering us.

We cannot just allow what is happening to continue and to snowball into something darker and more dangerous.  It is up to each and every one of us to express how we feel, and stand up for our rights.  We cannot meet their hate with hate, we need to meet it instead with honor and respect for ourselves.  We need to be empowered to tell them we will not tolerate their intolerance.

If we need to take to the streets and shout them down, together we should do this.  We need to put out more blog posts expressing ourselves and our rights to not be persecuted by these intolerant, self-righteous persons.

Come together.

All of us who are targets of these hate groups need to work together to build better.   We need to come together to show them they cannot take our nation away from us, that it belongs to us ALL, and not just their narrow belief system.  We need to stay strong, we need to work together to educate those who do not understand the danger this represents.

Today I am standing up and saying I am not afraid of you.  I will not be intimidated by your hate.  I am not alone, and my allies and I will show you that we cannot be silenced.  Let’s work together and stop these angry, fearful, intolerant people from doing more harm to our country.

It does not matter if you are male, female, black, white, brown, straight, gay, transgendered, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindi, Buddhist, atheist, Satanist, American, Canadian, Russian, insert-label-of-choice-here – this world belongs to us ALL.  The laws apply to all of us, and we cannot allow them to be usurped and twisted by loud minority groups intent on erasing us.  We have to speak up, and we have to express that we do not accept intolerance.

The blame does not fall on both sides of this argument.

Last, and certainly not least – you cannot equivocate one side with the other.  The “alt-right”, white supremacists, KKK and neo-Nazis have made it very clear that their goal is to eliminate the rest of us in whatever fashion they can do that.  They want to disempower us in every way they can, up to and including murdering us.  We who stand opposite them are not calling for their destruction, which is why one is not the same as the other.

The President is wrong about this, there is not blame on both sides when one side’s stated goal is to destroy the other.   I identify as part of the side that these people want to destroy, and I take that personally.  I will not accept this, and I know that I am not alone.

Join me.  Take a stand.  Be heard.  Let’s show them that hate is not the answer, and we will not live in fear of their intolerance.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 33:

The goal log has not yet been restarted following the Pennsic War.

 

This is the forty-seventh entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Can Positivity Make You Happy?

Ultimately, everybody wants to be happy.

I believe that’s what we all most want.  Happiness.  When we are happy, we are more capable of living a complete, satisfying life.

Positivity is a direct path to happiness.  Happiness is one of the ultimate in positive feelings, which is why it’s so important that we find and cultivate it as much as we can.

There is more than enough anger, intolerance, unhappiness and outright hatred in the world.  Adding to that only generates more.  Since consciousness creates reality, when that’s our focus, that’s what we create more of.  Getting inundated with and overwhelmed by all this negativity just draws more of it in.

This is why it’s important to look for and find things that make us feel happy.  Positivity, in any form that it takes, is a lead-in to happiness.  Positive is equal to good, and good is a feeling that can evolve into happy.

Happy is simpler than we make it out to be.

This is not about that blissful, euphoric, overindulgent happy that movies and TV try to sell us; nor is it the Happily Ever After of a fairy tale.  No, this is that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that sensation that makes you want to smile, maybe even laugh.  Honest, simple, happiness.

Rather than allow the sheer volume of negativity across social media, and all the insanity of politics and religion and such of modern society dominate us, we need to remain aware.  We need to be more familiar with our state of mind, our state of being.  From there, we will be better able to combat all the negative messages, and create better.

We cannot change the world if we do not change our small corners of it.  If you don’t feel good, how can you help anyone else feel good?  I fall into this trap myself from time to time, which is part of why I write about this frequently.  These Positivity posts were created to remind myself about the necessity of finding means to feel good, as much as they were created to help you do the same.

Want rather than DON’T want.

Last but very much not least, remember that the Universe doesn’t recognize messages like I don’t want to feel this way or that…it only registers want to feel this way or that.  This is why focusing on positivity to create more of it is imperative.  It is one of the keys to happiness.  Awareness of thought, feeling and action leads to conscious reality creation; ergo we are all cable of creating amazing, happy lives – and share them.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that ultimately, we all want to be happy, and positivity is a key to this, we can work on our awareness of positivity, and seek more of it.  When we find positivity, and we use positive things to make ourselves feel good, this can lead to us feeling happy; ultimately we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eighty-first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

 

 

Why Does the World Need More Positivity?

The world needs more positivity.

Why?  Because when we feel positive, we feel good.  When we feel good, we enhance the ability to draw more good to ourselves.  As such, we empower ourselves.  When we are empowered, we are capable of almost anything.

Unfortunately, we are living in a fear-based society.  We are inundated with negativity, we are told that there is lack and scarcity, and that we should fear the unknown, the untested, and the unfamiliar.  We sensationalize things to fear, and we continue as such to draw more to us.

The downside of instantaneous global communications is that we are hyper-aware of every single thing that happens.  Trouble is, what we are kept the most informed about is bad news.  Natural disasters, terrorist attacks, war and various atrocities dominate the news media.  As if that weren’t enough, to score higher ratings they strive to sensationalize these negative things, which just gives them more power.

And just to add insult to injury, the rise of fake news and opinion and blind faith in place of science and research makes it worse.  Fear mongers, religious leaders and conspiracy theorists have become all-too-readily accepted.  The negativity they are spewing fuels society’s fires.

We can overcome them, however.  But to do this, we can’t fight fire with fire.  We need to fight fire with water, dark with light.  We need to find and express more positivity.  We need to turn away from the negativity, and stop empowering it.  We need to overcome the fear with every positive tool we can muster.

The key is Positivity.

If we can focus more on finding the good in the world, we can use it to supplant the bad.  Like attracts like, that’s the Law of Attraction.  When we focus on positivity, we can attract more of it to us.  We can empower ourselves, and when we feel empowered we are capable of helping to empower others.

Even if you think the notion of the Law of Attraction is bunk, what harm is there in creating more positivity?  Does anyone really enjoy living in fear?  Does anyone really want to be lacking?  Does anyone want to feel bad, hurt, sad, or otherwise negative?  If we strive more to feel positive and good, we can disrupt the fear.

I am not suggesting ignoring the world around us.  But instead of feeding the hate, the fear, the lack…we need to find the love, the peace, the abundance.  We are better than this.  We each are empowered to discover that.  That is where positivity comes in, and that is why the world needs more of it.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that we live in a fear-based society, we can choose if we want to feed the fear, or overcome it.  When we create more positivity in the world, we can break from the negativity, we can disempower the fear and in turn empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-eighth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe (or re-subscribe) to this blog, and receive your bonus content!

How to Make Monday YOUR Day

Today will be whatever you make it be.

It’s far too easy to approach Monday and the traditional start of the work week with distress, trepidation, displeasure, and unhappiness.  There is an entire culture of Monday woe in this society, which has been and continues to be capitalized on, and as such gets reinforced.

Does anyone want Monday to suck?  I am pretty sure the answer is NO.  I don’t really know anyone who wants to be miserable, who wants to have a bad day and a bad week, or who craves feeling powerless and unhappy.

We are all so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.  For real, we are the creators of the world in which we live.  My favorite line from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has always been, “We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams.”  In other words, we have control over the lives we live.  We choose the beat we dance to in this life, and the dreams we experience.

Keeping this in mind, why do we so readily ascribe lousiness to Monday?  Because that’s our culture.  We have this wide-ranging belief that Monday, as the beginning of the new work week, is going to probably be no fun, distressing, and generally unpleasant.

If like attracts like, and consciousness creates reality, what do you think approaching Monday with dread is going to do?  Further, why perpetuate this negative, frankly depressing approach to a day in our lives?  We are only on this earth for a limited time.  Yeah, there are going to be days that suck, and there are going to be issues and problems and challenges to be had, and sometimes it really is easiest to just go with it, go with the flow, let it be as it will be.

However, we have a choice.  Rather than fall into this notion and allow for another lousy Monday, another set-up for a less-than-desired work week, why don’t we seek better?  Why don’t we use the tools we have available to us like gratitude and positivity generators to change the station, tune in more desirable music?

Yes, we will need to expend some effort to break from the norm.  It could make people look at us askance, and wonder why we aren’t doing things in the same way they are.  So what?  If like attracts like, and consciousness creates reality, if we approach the week from a positive perspective, then we are apt to attract more positives our way.

Monday needn’t start us off in deficit, we have the ability instead to begin in abundance.  Wouldn’t you rather look to be content and happy than distraught and unhappy?  Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we have the power to choose how to approach the start of the work week, we can work on choosing to approach it from a place of abundance.  When we see the day for possibility rather than for impossibility, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-sixth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Five_Easy_Steps_to_C_Cover_for_Kindle(1)

How do you recognize if you’re walking the right Path?

How do I know if I am on the right path?

This is probably the most basic, yet most challenging question to ask.  The answer is both amazingly simple, and yet fairly complicated.

Pathwalking is making choices about living life, in order to work to consciously create our personal reality as we want it to be.  Rather than simply going along with life and letting whatever happens, happen; as we walk our chosen paths we strive to be present and aware.  We don’t want to let life just occur, we are working on living life to its fullest.

There is always more than one path.  That’s how the universe works.  If consciousness creates reality, as this blog asserts, then we can choose virtually any path we might desire.  As such, there is more than one “right” path for us.

It’s important to recognize that the idea of “right” is fairly loaded.  Right is often the extreme opposite of wrong, but in this context right is a matter of feeling, desire, and drive.  Further, today’s right choice could be wrong for us tomorrow.

I recognize that that’s pretty vague.  This is because the specifics of what is right for me are not going to necessarily be right for you, or for anyone else for that matter.  “Right” in this particular context is a matter of feeling, belief and faith.

How do I recognize the right path?

The short answer is that the right path will feel good.  It will almost seem like its too easy, and the work you do along the right path feels less like work, and more like play.  It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of time when you are on the right path, because you get so caught up in it you just take action because it’s what you need to do.

For example, when I am writing, and really getting into my work, whether it’s my blog or my fiction or even writing for business, I often just flow with it. Time loses meaning, and I come away from a project feeling complete, content, and like I wasn’t working at all, just doing what feels good to me.

I desire to be writing more frequently.  I am driven to write, and that is how I am certain that this is the path that is right for me.

It feels good.  It feels like it is what I am supposed to do.  That is how I know my path is the right path.  But to really be travelling upon that path, it’s important to believe and have faith.

What’s the difference between belief and faith?

In many respects these are similar concepts, but not in this context.  How does this work, then?  Belief is important to Pathwalking, because if you don’t believe that consciousness can create reality, and that you can choose your own destiny, your own path in life, then you are going to be incapable of living this way.

I believe that I can create the life I desire.  I have made this work before, more than once.  And that is where faith comes into play.

I believe in this…but I don’t necessarily have faith.  I believe, in the abstract, but my faith in my own belief is open to scrutiny, questioned by my own skepticism.  But more than that, what this boils down to is my faith in myself.  I believe that consciousness creates reality, but I have no faith in myself to consciously create it.

If I am responsible for consciously creating my reality, then I need to have faith in myself.  I am the only one who can make MY life what I want it to be.  But if I lack faith in myself, what can I do?

How do you create faith in yourself?

When you believe in yourself, you believe you are capable of almost anything.  We nearly all feel this way as children, but as we get older and we are exposed to certain “realities”, this fades.  We can regain our ability to believe in abstracts, but after that we have to have faith – faith in ourselves.

Skepticism, cynicism, self-doubt, self-recrimination, second-guessing and self-deprecation are all born of a lack of faith.  Despite what you might believe about conscious reality creation, you don’t have sufficient faith in yourself to achieve it.  This is evident if your self-talk is frequently negative, such as I am no good; I am unimportant; I am fat; I am lazy; I fail more often than I succeed; if I don’t joke about myself everyone else will; and so on.  When you speak ill of yourself, it shows a lack of faith in who you are capable of being.

You may not be who you want to be right now.  That’s ok.  One of the reasons to choose Pathwalking is to become the person you most want to be, even if that is not who you are now.  To do that you have to think about it, feel it out, take inspired, intentional actions – and believe in the possibility; have faith in your ability to succeed.  When it feels like you can conquer the world, and you believe in conscious reality creation and have faith in yourself, you will know that are on the right path for you.

Do you have faith in yourself and your ability to choose your own destiny?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Five Quick-and-Easy Positivity Generators

Everyone prefers to feel good over feeling bad.

Finding positivity is about finding ways to feel good.  We live in a society that feeds on a steady diet of negativity.  Fear is a tool employed by many differently “leaders” to keep people in line, and sensationalism sells and gets more clicks on social media.  This can make it far easier to live in fear and negativity than to find positivity.

Also, it’s Monday…so most of us are going to work after a weekend off.  It is widely accepted that Mondays should be loathed.  I figure, why start the work week in negativity and set that tone for the week, when we can create positivity and allow ourselves to feel better.

There are many, many things that generate positivity, but the follow five are things you can do with little or no effort, more than once in a given day, and they will help.

  1. Smile. Seriously, just take a minute and smile.  You don’t need to laugh, you don’t need to have anything in particular to smile about, simply smile for a minute or so, and see how you feel.
  2. Breathe deeply. Take at least two minutes to breathe deeply, intentionally.  Really focus on the breathing, and let the air in.  You’d be surprised how just breathing and not doing anything else will make you feel.
  3. Sit or stand more erect. Consider your posture.  When you slouch and slump, there is no energy flow.  When you stand up straight or sit up straight, you energize your core, and you would be surprised how that will improve your mood.
  4. Stretch. Roll your neck, roll your shoulders, stretch out your arms and legs for a minute or two. These are the only bodies we have, and we tend to abuse them.  Stretching doesn’t just keep our joints and muscles strong, it also helps us relax and feel more flexible.
  5. Disconnect. Go offline for a few minutes.  Take a short walk.  Step away from whatever you are doing and reset yourself.  This can be less than five minutes, and I always have suspected this is part of the allure for smokers.  You get away from it all a few minutes to get your nicotine fix.  Well, for non-smokers, we also need a few minutes to get away and break from things.  Leave your computes, tablets and phones behind for 1 to 5 minutes, and free yourself.

None of these things need to take more than five minutes, and can take as little as one minute.  All of them will allow us to feel better, and I know that I prefer to feel good over feeling bad.  It seems so very simple, and yet we tend to neglect this all too easily.

There are other options out there, but I suggest rather than getting caught up in the negativity of the world at large, each of us can generate positivity for ourselves, and from there we might find we can do much, much more than we think.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that there are little things we can do to feel good, we have tools at our disposal to improve our days.  When we make the effort to use these tools to check and alter our feeling, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Five_Easy_Steps_to_C_Cover_for_Kindle(1)

What are challenges vs struggles with Pathwalking?

Pathwalking can be fraught with many challenges.

I long ago came to believe that nothing worth having is ever easy.  But there is a difference between challenge and struggle.  Challenge involves growth and proactive change, while struggle is stagnation and reactive change.  Challenge is deciding to change, while struggle is forced.

Many of the challenges in Pathwalking are due to outside influences, some which we can control and some which we cannot.  Recognizing this is the first step towards working with it, and keeping challenges from becoming struggles.

Further, when you recognize that you are struggling, it is possible to transmute your struggle into a challenge.  This is where taking control of the matters which you can control comes into play.

What is outside of your control?  Other people, situations that are not of your making, world news and such.  Let’s face it…we live in tumultuous times.  There is a tremendous amount of upheaval and reactionary measures happening because people are either making poor choices or no choices due to fear of change.  We can protest, we can vote more wisely, we can choose where and how to spend our money, but we cannot change these people, their actions or how they think, no matter how badly we want to do that.

What is inside of your control?  Everything that is yours in your life.  Your thoughts, feelings and actions, your situations, your mental state, how you use your time and so on.  You are the only person who can think for you, feel for you, act for you.  Nobody else can make you think, feel or do anything you do not allow yourself to think, feel and do.

We frequently give this away without realizing that we are doing that.  They influenced my thinking and she made me feel that way and I only did that thing because you made me do it.  Easy enough to give that power away, but that is a choice, a decision.  The power is yours, but you get to choose if you will take hold of it, or not.

Looking out for yourself is not selfish.

We live in a society obsessed with polar opposites.  Black and white, rich and poor, conservative and liberal, gay and straight, fat and thin, etc.  We are inundated with choices of either/or, when the truth is most people in every way fall somewhere between extremes.

One of these is the notion that if you are not selfless, you are selfish.  As such, we often find ourselves believing that self-care is selfish, so we neglect it to care for others.  Then we wonder why we are struggling, when we have accepted this notion and let ourselves take a second-rate place in our own lives.

When we do not hold onto things for ourselves, and we do not care for ourselves, we actually take away our ability to give to others.  We have to be full in order to have enough to share, and because this is an abundant universe that is not a selfish notion.  We are all unique individuals, and we all have different needs and wants, but no matter what those may be, we all need to care for ourselves.  Putting yourself first is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t ignore that there is a world apart from yourself.  You are the center of your own world, but you are also a part of rather than apart from the rest of the world. That’s an important distinction to remain clear on.

Choose challenge.  Choose change.

Change is inevitable.  It will happen, because that is part of life and growth.  Even when you are standing perfectly still, the air around you is changed by your body heat and your breath.  That is the nature of all things.  So rather than struggle from resisting change, accept the challenges that may come from change.

The challenges of Pathwalking will be different for everyone.  Things I find simple and easy you may find unbelievably difficult, and vice versa.  I am a thinker, and while I am empathic, I have often struggled to understand people who are true feelers.  However, while I can be logical about my feelings, actually understanding the meanings of my feelings can be difficult for me.  Then there are people who are doers – they take actions with seemingly little thought or feeling going into them, sometimes with extreme wisdom and sometimes less so.

Many of the challenges thinkers, feelers or doers will experience may be similar, but they may also vary rather widely.  The thing is to make the choices and decide to work on challenges we face, rather than to let choices and decisions out of our control, and work on struggles that drain us and disempower us.

Pathwalking is empowering.

Despite challenges and occasional struggles, Pathwalking, ultimately, is empowering.  Choosing your own path means that you are working on deciding how you want life to be.  When we decide this for ourselves, we open ourselves to discovering our happiness, and that, I believe, is the thing we most want to know.

When you are struggling, it is always possible to face it head-on and turn it into a challenge.  It may not be easy, but I believe empowering the self is always worthwhile.  Choosing my own destiny and deciding how I want to be I believe is key to living the best life I possibly can.

What challenges do you work with regularly, and how do you approach them?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Where can you find Positivity?

Positivity can be found anywhere we look.

There are all sorts of thing, big and small, that can bring about positivity.  Sometimes they are easier to see than others.

We are alive and breathing.  We have amazing technology at our fingertips.  We are capable of loving and being loved.  We can have, do or be pretty much anything we desire.  There is sky above us and earth beneath our feet.

I know that it can feel like an impossible struggle to find positivity out there.  Sometimes the weather is upsetting, at times those we love and respect are disappointing us, and don’t even get me started on the state of politics in the world today.  And yet, even with all that taken into account, there are still ways to uncover and relish in positivity.

Sometimes we just need to slow down, take a breath, and maybe step away from things that are giving us more negativity than we desire.  Sometimes we need distractions, finding things to make us smile and laugh or otherwise redirect our thought processes.

Gratitude and inclusion can go a very long ways towards generating positivity.  Doesn’t it feel good to hear someone say “thank you?”  Do you know that saying “thank you” can be just as powerful, if not more so?  Expressing gratitude in our lives builds positive energy like nothing else can…and it’s really, really easy.

Perfect example – today in the United States is Memorial Day.  I want to say Thank You to everyone who has given of themselves to serve the country and protect and defend what we believe in.  Thank you, also, to those who offer the closest support to these men and women.  Thank you.

Our society is currently experiencing a real problem with exclusion.  We are being artificially divided by race, color, creed, religion, gender, and any other artifice one could devise so that those who feel they are in power can stay there.  When we work to be inclusive instead, however, we can generate an unbelievable amount of positivity, and when we work together we all benefit.

Yes, finding positivity can feel pretty hard.  But finding and generating positivity is good for our overall wellbeing, and it is always available to us – we just have to seek it out, and keep ourselves open to it.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we can find positivity almost anywhere that we look for it, we can open ourselves up to new ways to feel good and be happier.  When we make the effort to uncover and partake of positivity, we make ourselves feel healthier, and as such we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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Why Walk Your Own Path? You Control More Than You Think

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.

This can be a particularly difficult concept to believe, but that doesn’t lessen the truth of it.  You are in control over how you think, how you feel, and how you act.

I know that sometimes it feels like that control is really, really limited.  Truth is, however, that the only limitations are those that you yourself place.  Otherwise, you have far more power and capability to change your life as you would most desire than you probably believe.

I created Pathwalking with the intent of taking control over my life, and creating the destiny I believe I am meant for.  I have long known that the standard courses in life were not for me, and overall I have not taken those particular paths.

One career since college?  Nope, not at all.  I have held numerous jobs, but not followed a single career path until fairly recently.  Marriage in my late twenties or early thirties and raise kids?  Nope, didn’t get married until my early forties, and we’re not going to produce children.  Buy a house, use it to build equity and maintain stability?  While I have been a homeowner, the current plan is to not buy again anytime soon, and rent for the purpose of mobility.

Why am I pointing these out?  Because it is way too easy to let society dictate control over our lives.  We live in a society that discourages us from striking out on our own path, rather than choosing something not-the-normal.  Rather than empower the individual, our society prefers to keep us underfoot, at the whim of our bosses, our religious and political leaders, our supposed superiors.

You are In Charge of You

Nobody is superior to anybody else.  It does not matter if they have more education, more money, more experience or are older than you or more specialized, the only person you answer to, when all is said and done, is you.  The only power anyone else enjoys over you is in place because you have given it away.

That is a particularly hard pill to swallow.  We are so indoctrinated into this idea that other people can control us, that other people can be responsible for our emotions and actions, that we cannot believe this is only true because we allow it to be.  Other people are only able to affect us as much or as little as we allow them to.

For example, let’s say you were in a relationship, but then your partner unceremoniously dumped you.  Yes, you feel hurt, probably betrayed, and upset…but chances are you blame them for hurting you.  They caused you to be hurt, they treated you poorly, and in all likelihood your feelings and opinion of your former partner will only spiral downwards from there.

Yes, it was the action on the part of your former partner that caused those bad feelings.  Yes, it is perfectly normal and totally human to feel hurt, betrayed and upset.  But, you are the one feeling these feelings. As such, you get to choose how long you will hold onto them, and how far along the downward spiral you care to travel.

You are the only one who can feel how you feel.  While there are uncountable outside influences that can and will effect how you feel, you are the only one who actually feels what you feel.  As such, the person who has caused you to hurt only hurts you for as long as you allow them to have that power over you.

Taking another step from here, you and only you are responsible for your actions.  Nobody can make you do anything you do not choose to do.  Yet because our society is so keyed into not being accountable for anything, it is easy to place the blame for bad actions we have taken -outside of ourselves.

Take Back Your Power

When you understand that you are the one in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, you get to choose how much of that control to exert.  You will feel upset for as long as you hold onto it, and you will not take an action that is not of your own accord, unless you choose to and blame it on another.  You are the one who gets to decide.  You get to choose.

You will notice over the coming weeks changes to this blog.  I am studying new ideas to improve what I share here, and that means things will be changing.  Since change is inevitable, happens whether we want it or not, I am exerted control over change, and choosing to alter this how I desire the change to be.

Last week I explained how intention is the reality of control.  Intention is composed of thought and feeling and action, and you are the only person who can control all of your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.  Nobody else can choose for you, nobody else can be in control, unless you allow them to be.  You can keep the power over your thoughts, feelings and actions, or you can give it away in part or total.  That is your decision.

Consciousness creates reality.  Recognizing our own control over the vast majority of our lives, we can be empowered to make almost anything we can imagine of them.  We are free thinkers; we are the only ones who feel the things we feel, however we feel them; we are the only ones who can act on our own thoughts and feelings.

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.  When you recognize this, embrace it and see just how endless the possibilities are before you.

What feels out of your control that you can take back for yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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