The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: pathwalking (Page 1 of 33)

What’s Your Opinion?

Everyone is capable of having an opinion.

Being entitled to an opinion, however, has frequently been carried to a dangerous and unhealthy extreme.

What’s the difference?  Let’s say that it is my opinion that the moon is made of green cheese.  We know of course that it’s not.  We have physical evidence returned from the moon to disprove me.  When you show me a moon rock, and explain to me that the composition of the moon is not cheesy, I should be capable of accepting that my opinion has been disproven.

Our modern society, however, believes in being entitled to your opinion, and as such denies fact.  How else do you explain flat earthers?  Science deniers?  Anti-vaxxers?  Facts to the contrary are being blatantly disregarded in favor of “popular” opinion.

Yes, some opinions are mostly harmless.  If you are five foot two and want to believe that you are tall, or you are old and want to believe you are young, it doesn’t cause harm.  The trouble comes when you try to force an opinion on others and inflict damage.

Look at American politics.  This administration ignores science and economic fact for opinion on numerous topics, and seems to be striving to return us all to the dark ages.  Despite a broad lack of support for eliminating the Affordable Care Act, the Senate very nearly succeeded at taking it down.  Opinion is overwhelming fact.

How did we get here?  When did we leave the age of reason behind and allow for faulty opinion to be the basis for policy and directing our society as a whole?

I have no answer.  However, I have thoughts on how to begin to change the conversation.

You can only control your own opinion.

This can be really hard to accept.  Why?  Because if our particular opinion is based in fact – for instance, it’s my opinion that the Earth is round.  Science agrees with me.  I admit that I cannot fathom how anyone in the 21st century believes otherwise.  For centuries now the vast majority have accepted the reality of a round planet.  How can anyone possibly deny this and believe otherwise?

Because some people feel they are entitled to their opinion, they are unwilling to let it go even when disproven.  They think they are right, and they will not hear or accept otherwise.  They get stubborn, even belligerent when you try to show them they are factually mistaken.  You can’t talk to them, and you won’t change them.

When we have fact on our side we tend to get into arguments with these people.  Why?  Probably because we cannot fathom how they can hold onto a ludicrous, non-factual notion.  Of course, to add insult to injury, usually arguing with people “entitled” to their opinions only causes them to dig in their heels.

This is why it’s important to recognize the only opinion over which you have control is your own.  I am the only one who can make up my opinions, and that is that.  I can argue until I am blue in the face, but when someone has decided their opinion is a fact, even with irrefutable proof otherwise, I will fail to change their mind.

Of course, this can get particularly ugly sometimes.  White supremacist marches, disempowering a protest with false patriotism, or name-calling and expressions of anger over a difference of opinion gets ugly.  More so in the face of opinions contrary to facts.

Working around false opinions can be done.

It’s not easy, but it’s possible.  How?  By working with others who believe in fact.  Marching for Science, for Women’s Rights, standing up peacefully against the KKK and white supremacists are all steps in that direction.

We tend to take a stand against the thing we do not want, including opinions.  While resistance is not futile, and often vital, it’s imperative that we stand FOR something.  The more of us who stand together in support of a thing rather than against a thing, the more we can affect the collective consciousness.

When we argue with those who hold opinions lacking in fact, we allow them to empower their opinion.  We end up giving them a forum to spout their non-factual opinion, and strive to legitimize it.

Recently, an acquaintance wrote an attack against a community I am part of with an opinion counter to fact.  Rather than argue with that person’s opinion, the majority of the community stood up for the fact of the matter.  From there, friends and acquaintances of the community also stood up for the fact.  Rather than an outpouring of anger and argument against the attacker, we’re seeing positive support for the attacked.

Sure, there is still anger and hurt over this opinion that was expressed.  Yet I think the outpouring of support for the attacked rather than countering the attacker with fact goes much further in generating a better outcome.

How does opinion matter to your path?

We all form opinions.  It’s human nature, because we believe in things.  We have faith in things.  The important thing is to recognize that while you are capable of having an opinion, you are not entitled to it, even when you are factually correct.  When we let go of our entitlement to opinion, I think we open ourselves up more to spreading fact and changing opinions that are held which are counterfactual.

This is challenging, but I believe it’s totally worthwhile.

What’s your opinion on holding opinions?

 

This is the three-hundred-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a free gift with your subscription.

Will Your Path Make You Happy?

What is important to me is that I live a good life, and am happy more often than not.

We all have different priorities.  Nobody’s emotions are exactly the same.  While we may give our emotions the same names, odds are how they feel to each of us differs.

Taking that another step, what makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy.  Not just because of how it may feel differently to each of us, but because the what of happiness is such a wide perspective.

Right now our society is beset by people who care about nobody but themselves.  Business leaders and government officials have been particularly selfish and uncaring.  Many see the world as a pie, but a singular, small, limited pie, with only a few slices to go around.  Rather than use their ability to produce unlimited pie, they hoard what they have and try to convince everyone else that this is the truth.

There is not enough pie to go around.  I am going to take this all for myself, and none for you.  Of course, if they viewed this as limitless instead, we would all have more to share, more to give, more in general.

The Universe is vast beyond our ability to comprehend it.  Further, the Universe is abundant.  This is not a place of lack and want, it is a place of more than enough and plenty.  It’s important to recognize this because I believe that a tremendous amount of our unhappiness comes from feeling lack.

We all want to feel.

This is something we often deny.  I think one of the reasons for the popularity of the notion of Vulcans in Star Trek is the lack of emotion.  When you don’t feel emotion, you don’t feel want, and as such you don’t feel lack or loss.  Emotions are viewed as weakness, and showing them often is considered socially unacceptable.

Thing is, like it or not, we are emotional creatures.  Humans feel things.  Good and bad, happy and sad, ecstatic and angry, and everything in between – having emotions is part of the human experience.  Taking this out further, I believe that the thing we most want from our lives is to feel positive emotions.

Why do you do the things you do?  Because at the end of the day, you want to feel good.  Yes, this is a generalization, but I believe that most of us want to experience good things in our lives.  We want to be happy, or at least content, with the lives we lead.

It’s all well and good to just be.  If that makes you happy, then more power to you.  But if you are displeased with life more often than otherwise, I am pretty sure that you are probably working to find ways to be more content.  Means to be happier.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves how our lives are to be.  Yes, that involves working towards goals, some of which are material.  But even the material goals are meant to be part of something more, something greater.  My goal may be to become a best-selling author, but WHY I want to achieve that is because in the end, I believe that that will make me happy.

Happy and nature versus society.

We have been presented with a pretty standard expectation of what life should be.  There is a widespread belief on the part of our society for what we should be doing, how we should be living, and what we should expect.  While on the one hand we encourage people to dream and strive to grow bigger than they are, on the other hand we discourage them from stepping away from the common.  Often we tell them that taking their own path is fraught with risk, and an unacceptably low chance of reward.

Is it any wonder our society often seems kind of schizophrenic?  We tell you that this is the land of opportunity, but then we advise you not to take a chance.  You get told that you should strive to be more than you are, but then people tell you they’re afraid you’ll fail.  We play on fear so frequently that we find that state of being to be perfectly ok.

I for one do not want to live in a state of fear.  Life is too short and too full of possibilities for me to accept that fear should dominate me.  Yes, things can happen to you when you take a risk…but things can also happen to you when you DON’T take chances.  We often are lead to believe that it’s better not to try at all than to try and fail.

Do you know what our world would be like today if many of the great innovators had accepted that?  If they had not tried and failed and tried again, so many modern conveniences we take for granted just would not exist.  Sometimes failure is the best teacher.

In the end it’s all about emotions.

Frequently the things we want are material.  From the physical like cars and homes and jewelry to the abstract like good jobs, great relationships and wealth, these are tangible things.  Yet why do you think you want the tangible things you want?  Because you believe they will make you happy.

This is part of why we all want different things.  What makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy, him happy, her happy, them happy, and so on.  We all want different things, and even when we want similar things they may be for different reasons.  My point is, the things we want are actually manifested tangibles of the intangibles we truly desire.

I do not know anybody who wants to be unhappy.  Even the people I know who seem to take some sort of pleasure in being frequently miserable do not actually desire for that to be their state of being.  In the end, the paths we walk are lead to a good emotional place.

Acknowledging this can go a long ways towards understanding ourselves better.  When we recognize that we have emotional needs, I believe we can do better with our self-care.

Last and certainly not least – you deserve to be happy.  Really, truly, you do.  You are worthy of having a good and happy life.  I know that may be hard to believe sometimes – I certainly struggle with it.  But it is unequivocally true.

How do you think the things you want from your path will make you happy?

 

This is the three-hundred-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription!

What Do You Take-Away From This?

What you take-away from a less-than-desirable situation is important.  Seeing the good you learned from the bad is the key to this.

We all have bad experiences.  There are going to be things that happen that are infuriating, complicated, difficult and unpleasant.  Life cannot always be perfect.  Frankly, if it was, I think we’d all get really really bored of it.

When bad things happen – and they will – what you take away from them is important.  If you find yourself angry, resentful, distressed or feeling otherwise negative, that will impact you negatively.  However, if you can find good that has come of it, you can generate positivity instead.

What you take-away from any given situation is actually totally yours to control.  Since you are the only one inside of your own head, you get to choose how you feel after anything good or bad happens.

Certainly there are automatic and gut reactions to things.  You get angry, you get hurt, you feel annoyed by what happened.  In the moment, hard not to feel such.  But, after that, you choose how long you hold onto it.  You get to choose how far you take that feeling.

As such, if you are feeling negative about something initially, when you focus on that, you’ll get more.  Consciousness Creates Reality, so focus on what you don’t want, you will create more of it.  This will manifest further bad feelings, and complicate whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

A thing happened.  It produced a negative response and emotion in you.  The take-away is entirely yours to choose.  Acknowledge it, then let it fester and likely draw more negatives…or acknowledge it, and figure out what you can learn from it that’s a positive.

Initial reaction is not what you take-away, unless you choose that.

First, let’s make note of a couple things.  We all make mistakes.  Everybody screws up from time to time.  What’s perfect about everybody is that nobody is perfect.

The bad or annoying or unfortunate thing has happened.  Made me feel negative.  Yup, that’s how it is.  Now, what have I learned from it, and what can I take away from it?

Let’s explore a couple examples:

  • You have credit cards in collections because you rang up too much debt. What is your take-away?  Negative: I am a total screw-up, and a failure.  Positive: I now know I need to be more responsible with my money. 
  • Your relationship/marriage/partnership failed. What is your take-away?  Negative: I suck at relationships.  I never get it right, I am unworthy.  Positive: I learned what does not work in a partnership for me, and can work to avoid that in the future.  I am wiser and worthwhile.
  • You have a crisis, great or small, to deal with. What is your take-away?  Negative: Why do I always have to deal with this crap?  Why me?  Can I just live without an emergency?  Positive: I am the eye in the middle of the storm.  I can handle anything, and am stronger because I know what I am capable of.  I’ve learned something useful from this.

You get to choose just what it is you take-away from everything that happens to you.  That being the case, you get to decide if you want to hold onto and create more negativity, or let-go of the negative and create positivity.

Take-away what you want to manifest.

Conscious Reality Creation means that we strive not to be a victim of circumstance.  Things can and will happen outside of our control, but that does not mean we have no ability to react to them at all.

Emotions are entirely on you and me.  Nobody but you can feel what and how you feel, and as such nobody can make you feel a certain way or no.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves.  I know that I prefer to have some modicum of control over the life I am living.  Every situation is going to present you with a chance to have a take-away, but what that will be is up to you.

This week, for whatever reason, has been rough for me.  Not sure why, but I have had a hard time focusing and achieving what I want to.  I was sleepy, and could not easily concentrate on writing and editing.  Some things got done, but not as much as I wanted.

That was Monday.  When Tuesday rolled around, and I felt much the same, I began to get upset.  I was angry at myself for being lazy.  This in turned led to self-annoyance with my inability to achieve what I had intended to do, and I was getting down on myself for ever perceived misstep.

Last night I reconsidered what my take-away was.  Rather than berate and ultimately self-sabotage myself, I now know I can work on means to improve my focus, and to accept that we all have off days.  I can choose to stop seeing what is not working in my life, and focus instead on what is.

Conscious reality creation goes deep into one’s core.

To manifest what you want from life, it can’t just be a side thought, it has to be your only thought on the matter.  When I was recovering from injuries all I focused on was total healing.  All conscious reality creation works from complete, hyper-focus.

Today I am feeling the best I have in a while.  Staying mindful of the take-away from my situation is doing wonders for my psyche.

What have you taken-away from your life situations?

 

This is the three-hundredth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

What Makes For Success?

You name it, I will write it.   Does this let me be a success?

I love to work on fiction.  I began writing sci-fi at age nine, and I have been working on my fantasy series, The Source Chronicles, for about twenty years.   There is something about fantastic worlds that I just love to write out.  It’s exciting, and frequently invigorating.

Crossing the Bridges 52Almost six years ago I began regularly blogging.  One weekly post has become three, and the theme of the blog more pointedly conscious reality creation.  I love working on my blog posts, Positivity, Pathwalking and Crossing the Bridges, as much as I enjoy writing fiction now.

Then, for added fun, I do different types of professional writing.  I do SEO and web content, resumes, and other business writing like press releases and marketing materials.  While this is not my favorite kind of writing, it is still writing, and still makes me happy.

Currently, I am working on finding new means to promote my works, and to write professionally for more money.

This is a challenging step.  One of the reasons why I call this post Crossing the Bridges is because I see myself writing in three separate worlds.  In one, I write novels and stories of sci-fi, Fantasy, Steampunk and more.  The next world I work on this blog, the three posts to it per week, and now at least bi-weekly posts to my recently revised Author website.  Last, there is the professional writing work, the stuff I do pretty much only for money, because I can.

To write or not to write?  There is no question.

There is, to my mind, a gap between each of these worlds.  They are three totally separate concepts.  Not simply different genres, but my whole approach to each is going to be unique.  How I work on novels is quite different from how I work on these blog posts.  The professional writing is almost entirely unrelated, but it’s still writing.

It is my desire that all three of these forms of writing should earn me money.  I want to maximize my potential, and I want to be able to show the world that I am a successful writer.

Of course, this leads to a wholly different problem.  How do you define success?  This is something that has caused me no end of problems.  Why?  Because all too often my equation of success has been based on what others have implied, suggested, expected, or otherwise told me.

Our society, for example, frequently equates wealth with success.  If one is successful, one has money.  How much money is often a matter of degree, really.  Doctors, lawyers, high-powered financiers, moguls, entrepreneurial business professionals are whom we usually associate as successes.

You are, no doubt, familiar with the notion of the starving artist?  You probably also have heard that writers don’t make a lot of money, in particular novel writers.  Unless, of course, you become a best-seller, or you manage to sell the movie or TV rights to one of your works.  Many well-meaning people throughout my life have told me this.  Often, it’s been meant as “realistic” and “good” and “helpful” advice.

I have written before about well-meaning and well-intentioned resistance.  Naysayers who think and feel that they are looking out for that which is best for you throw a wet-blanket over your dreams.  This certainly makes conscious reality creation particularly challenging.

You get to define success.

The thing is, if you believe that success includes endless money, a big house, a fancy car, any or all of the above, you’re seriously limiting yourself.  When I have made this my main focus, I have found it massively difficult to find satisfaction in anything I have done.

Redefining success can go a long ways towards bringing more satisfaction.  This has, I am sure you won’t be surprised, been a challenge for me.  I have to overcome my rather skewed expectation of success in order to not just say this, but to feel it.

What is success?  For me, I still believe what I grew up believing.  Wealth, which included money and things.  What do I want to be success?  Achievement.  I have had two short stories published in anthologies.  I have self-published two fantasy novels, one Steampunk novel, the first year of Pathwalking, the humorous narrative of the time surrounding my accident, and a novelette written much in the style of Paulo Coelho.  That is eight publications!

Beyond that, I had published many articles for Patch.com, back when they hired writers more than relied on bloggers.  I also had a couple articles published for a magazine, and several advertisements.

Does that say successful writer to you?  Maybe I am not on a best-seller’s list, and maybe I have not sold the movie-rights to something I wrote…as of yet.  But I have published, and I have two more works completed, one of which awaits me editing it, the other is actually with an editor now.  That brings me to ten completed works.  If that’s not success, then what is?

The final challenge: believe it.

Deep down, I still struggle with this.  Why?  Because I still believe the notion that without the lucrative contract or far-broader sales of my work, I am not a success.  I still am listening to the messages of society, and struggling to disbelieve them.

It is important for me to accept that I am a success.  I am a published author, I have incredible friends, an amazing wife, a roof over my head, a decent car, technology and freedom.  I am truly grateful for the things I have and the people in my life.  Feeling successful will empower me to more and greater success.

Every day is a new day.  And every day is a chance for new success.  There is work to be done.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 37:

Diet:  Mostly back on track and writing it out again.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, three days at the gym, one exceptional hike.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; several days of writing in the sci-fi story.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things a day, over 5 days.

 

This is the fifty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

Who Gives You Permission?

You need nobody’s permission to walk your own path in life.

But you will receive an awful lot of advice, and help both useful and not from people.

When you decide to walk your own path, if, like mine, it is in any way unconventional, people will question it.  When enough people question what you have chosen, inevitably YOU will begin to question it, too.

We all have people in our lives who feel they have carte blanche in regards to advising and giving permission for us to live our lives a certain way.  Some are at a completely surreal level, so remote and removed from our lives that, truly, they have only as much power as we give to them.

A perfect example, and I mean this with no offense or disrespect, is God.  It does not matter if you view God from a religious standpoint of Judaism, Christianity, Islam or any other mono-theistic practice – some will argue you need his/her/its permission to do pretty much anything you might choose.  Without God’s blessing, some might argue, you have nothing.  Don’t even get me started on how some religious leaders will use some form of permission from God to oppress, be intolerant, deny science, or whatever meets their personal agenda.

This leads to the next surreal level, still remote and removed, where permission might be passed down or not.  Leaders in government, religion, and business love to tell us what we can and cannot do.  Sometimes they use the law to do this; other times they use tradition or obscure rules.  Many workplaces have specific rules about what we can and cannot wear, some of which is logical while some it just arbitrary and controlling.  For some, to feel empowered, they do all they can to disempower all others.

You don’t need to seek anyone’s permission.

The plain and simple truth is that when you are choosing your own path, you don’t need to seek anyone else’s permission to do so.  This is YOUR life, and nobody but you can live it.

Now we come to the people who are not-so-far removed.  Friends and loved ones.  The people who are directly a part of your life often feel they have every right to opine about your choices.

If what you are choosing is in any way unusual, people may feel the need to remark about it.  Unusual, by the way, is a loaded term.  For some it is about anything we choose that is well outside the norm, such as a career choice requiring some major life changes or a big move or doing something unlike anything you have done before.  For some, it’s as simple as not within their worldview perspective.

Everybody has a different view about how life works, yet we readily ignore this fact.  Since we are constantly inundated in our society with black or white, good or bad, either/or, up or down, Republican or Democrat, and nearly any other extreme you can think of – we find ourselves set in competition against one another.  Realistically, of course, the majority fall somewhere in the middle between any two extremes.

In many ways, because of this, people feel they have a duty to keep us in the expected path.  Society says you go to school, get a degree, get a job.  From there you get married, have kids, send them to school, then retire to a warmer clime.  Deviation from that path is deviant, and suspect, and you have permission to warn people when they stray.

Well-meaning permission changes nothing.

The thing is, because we all make our own choices in life, the only person we have to get permission from is ourselves.

Please keep in mind, I am not advocating for breaking any laws, outright anarchy, or blowing-off loved ones.  What I am saying is that you, and you alone, know what will make you happy in this life.  That being said, it’s entirely up to you to choose what will be best for you.

It can be very useful to get advice and consult with friends and loved ones.  It certainly is helpful when you have people to support you when you strive to take control over your own destiny.

I believe, to some degree, the need for permission comes from our childhood.  As children we have to get permission from our parents to do something different, to borrow the car, to stay out past curfew and such.  This gets so ingrained in us that we still feel an inherent need to seek permission when we take on something new and/or different.

Your path belongs to you, and you alone.  You may feel that you should get somebody’s permission to do whatever it is you are doing, but in truth, you don’t.  The only person who needs to approve of you and your life is you.

We are social creatures.  Even the most introverted still seek validation and comfort from without from time to time.  When our choices go outside of comfort zones, ours or those of others, it can be scary.  It can be pretty daunting, too.  Know that you are not alone, and you don’t need to get approved by anyone else.

Permit yourself to be all you want to be.

Our time on this planet is finite.  I want to experience it as fully as possible.  In order to do that, I am consciously creating my reality by making choices I intend to allow me to manifest a great life.  Even when I am faced with naysayers and well-meaning negativity, I know what I want to manifest.  I give myself permission to pursue my passion and strive to live my dream.

This, in turn, will not have a negative impact on anyone else.  The Universe is abundant, and my achieving goals will not deny anyone else the chance to do so, too.  There is plenty of what we want, since we all want different things.  We do not need approval or permission from anyone outside of ourselves.

Do you feel a need to get permission to walk the paths of your choosing?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Joy Empowers Us

Living in joy is the ultimate goal.

I don’t want to spend my time at a desk, working for someone I might not entirely respect, doing something that bores me.  Life is just too short for that.  Rather, I want to do something that makes me happy.

Have you ever been told that “You have to work for a living” or “you gotta do what you gotta do” or “you have to make ends meet” or similar?  Likely, I suspect you have.  How come we so readily accept that work should be joyless and soul-crushing?

Crossing the Bridges 51Think about it.  Even if you are not working at something that isn’t ideal, how many people do you know that do?  How many friends and loved ones complain more about where they work than not?

How come we accept this?  Why have we decided that it’s perfectly ok to spend the majority of our waking hours being unhappy?

Yes, we can argue about “responsibility” and “being an adult” and on and on.  But consider this: we are only in these bodies, on this planet, for about a century – give or take a decade or two.  While our essence is energy, and will not be destroyed when we pass away, in these meat-popsicles our time is finite.

Not only is our society fear-based, but it’s also lack-minded.  We are inundated with messages that there is not enough, that we have insufficient supplies, that things are lacking.  This in turn leads some to hoard all kinds of things, and deny others because of this mentality.

Joy is a matter of abundance.

The universe is abundant.  Despite our being constantly told that it’s not, it actually is.  We are capable of manifesting pretty damned amazing things, when we get out of our lack mindset.

This is something I have been working on for some time.  I tend to get caught up in the lack mentality, and because of this I have spent a great deal of my life indecisive.  I couldn’t decide what I actually wanted, so frequently made no choice at all.  In my possession are many old journals, where entries from my thirties are all about being down, lacking satisfaction and joy and so on.

For years, I would tell you that my theme song was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.  This applied to my home, job, relationships, spiritual state, financial state, yadayadayada.  I complained a lot,  questioned everything, and felt very alone.

What changed?  I started to take action.  As I have mentioned many times, Pathwalking was borne of a New Year’s Action, to begin to write weekly.  From there, I began to take on this idea of conscious reality creation and making choices.  Lo and behold, I started to experience changes I wanted to see.

I got into a stable relationship.  There was a job I mostly enjoyed.  The SCA continued to provide me with an outstanding social outlet.  I was writing, and began to see works published.  I began to truly pursue my joy.

How come I didn’t do this sooner?  In part, because I believed when I was told “writers don’t make much money” and “you can’t make a decent living as a writer” and similar.  Most of these statements were made to me not maliciously, but “for my own good” and to help me make choices along the way.

Joy is too important to ignore.

We tend to give our pursuit of happiness and joy a lot less attention than we should.  We have accepted the narrative of our society that happiness and joy come in small doses.  While I acknowledge that it’s impossible to live in joy all the time, I still want to experience it more frequently than its negative opposites.

I know that I have to earn a living, that I need to contribute to society in a productive manner, and always strive to do my best.  What I do not accept is that I should spend most of that time discontent.  Must I accept that the majority of my day should be spent doing something that is unsatisfying, and leaves me unable to experience much joy?  I say no.

You can go ahead and call me irresponsible.  I accept that society largely will think I am crazy for working on conscious reality creation to manifest a joyful life.  But when all is said and done, the ultimate goal I believe everyone is in pursuit of is joy.

Changing the lack mentality and fear-based society we live in can feel really daunting.  This is why it starts with each and every one of us.  When I stop feeding the lack and fear machines, and instead empower the abundance and contentment engines, I believe I can help empower others.  It is not selfish to seek abundance and joy for ourselves when we act on sharing it.

Abundance for joy.

I am working on taking a new approach to my day.  When I start to feel like I am lacking, I will actively work on focusing on abundance.  I will use gratitude for the things I have, and see the abundances of my life.  Even the little, easy to take for granted things are a matter of abundance.  Rather than focus on things I don’t have, I will work on focusing on gratitude for the things I have.

Viewing the world as abundant instead of lacking is something we can all do to change it.  We can’t ignore the problems of the world, but instead of lamenting them, we can work on making our own individual lives abundant and joyful.  I think this is totally a worthwhile goal, don’t you?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 36:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, writing it out again.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, one day at the gym, one energetic hike.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; a couple days of writing in the sci-fi story.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things a day, over 5 days.

 

This is the fifty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Does Self-Doubt Impact You?

Self-doubt and indecision will complicate Pathwalking.

I strive to be less doubtful about who I am, and to do better with making decisions about my life.  Pathwalking is about choosing for myself, rather than letting random chance just happen.

Yet I still question if I am deserving of this.  I doubt myself, my abilities to do the things I want to do.  This in turn can make me indecisive, and I get stuck in uncertainty.

Self-doubt comes from many places.  Perceived failures, discipline or lack thereof, wrong choices, disproven beliefs, mistakes, miscommunication, and a lack of outside validation.  It is unfortunately easy to blame those outside forces for causing self-doubt, but this is totally an inside job.

If I am doubting myself, then it’s all on me.  The only person inside my head is me.  Nobody else can think for me, unless I give up my free will and let them.

As if that’s not enough of a complication, focusing on the things that I am doubting about myself draws more things.  The self-talk in my head is too negative, and as such not very productive.  I berate myself, see my flaws, get upset with mistakes and missteps and perceived failures too easily.

This complicates Pathwalking, because I get focused on things I don’t want for myself, and then of course that will create more of those.  I get more doubtful, and then get frustrated when I am unproductive, and become distracted because I can’t focus.

Self-doubt is a liar.

This is a hard truth to accept.  Your self-doubt is a lie.  It is that nagging voice in your head telling you that you are unacceptable.  This is the voice saying you are worthless.  It’s the brain weasels running around aimlessly, probably giving you a headache.

When we believe the worst of ourselves, we don’t feel terribly good.  This is where depression is born, and the lying black wolf will make us indecisive about all kinds of things.  You start to question decisions, ideas, plans and goals when you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt may be a wholly internal matter, however its cause can be rooted in outside forces and influences.  When you do not receive validation, whatever form that may take, it can be disheartening.  If you are not recognized for your skills and contributions, you may begin to question your value and worth.

This gets even more complicated when the outside forces are loved ones.  If your own family makes you question your value and worth, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.  When your friends tell you things “for your own good” that might upset you, this too can make you doubtful.  That’s particularly rough when they are questioning your choices, and causing you to question them in turn.

Self-doubt can lead to indecision.

When you doubt yourself, you start to doubt your choices.  You begin to wonder if you are making good choices, or bad choices.  As such, this can lead you to either not make a choice, or to be particularly indecisive.

I have spent a great deal of my life in indecision.  Rather than choose wrong, I either didn’t choose at all, or hmmmed and hawed until I either had no choices remaining, or only one choice available.  I didn’t choose to pursue professional radio after college because I doubted I would be able to build a similar life to that which I had in Podunk, Middle America.  No pursuit of a professional theatre career was every truly initiated by me, because there is huge amounts of uncertainty when it comes to theatre and success.  I didn’t put my focus into turning my writing into a career in my twenties because I listened to those who said that it didn’t pay.

The indecision of my twenties and thirties was fueled by my self-doubt, and unsurprisingly my self-doubt was fueled by my indecision.  Because I spent nearly two decades constantly doubting myself and being indecisive, I did not find financial, career, or relationship successes.  I came to believe that I was a failure, and that I didn’t deserve to succeed because of my mistakes along the way.

I began to believe my own doubts were true.  Maybe I was a failure, maybe I was unworthy of respect.  How could I turn this around and change the dialogue?

Turn self-doubt into self-worth.

I have begun to see now that I am a worthwhile individual.  I contribute to the world around me, helping friends and family and even strangers when I can.  There is worth in what I do, and rather than get hung up on long-term and overarching success, I need to see success in the small things in life.

Often this is still easier said than done.  I am currently striking out on my own to find freelance writing jobs and take my existing work to the next level.  With my desire to be a bestselling author, I am working on finding ways to increase sales of my work, and get myself out there.

Now I have the opportunity to live what I have been writing about for almost six years.  Pathwalking is choosing my own destiny, making choices and deciding to have the life I most want.

Self-doubt is a saboteur.  I know that some days I am going to feel like I am not able to do this, and that I lack the discipline.  I allow those who mean well but say upsetting things to get inside my head; negative news well outside my control impacts my thoughts.  This needs to be acknowledged because it is there, and unavoidable.  But, once I have done that, I need to them proceed to let it go.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.  I need to be bold, make decisions, and not let my self-doubt interfere with the paths I am walking.

What do you do when faced with self-doubt and indecision?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Do I Break the Pattern?

I am the only one who can break the pattern.  But I don’t have all the answers.

More often than not what I have is more questions.

I believe that this is one of the things, though, that makes life worth living.  New questions, new things to learn, answers to be found for questions asked.

I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately.  That’s what I do when I find myself on unfamiliar ground.  Here I am, between jobs, with a real idea of what it is I want to create for my life.

Before I was let go from my last job, I wrote out a schedule for myself.  I set up my day for the ideal job of writing full time.

In this schedule I allowed myself a somewhat flexible wake-up time.  I set aside time to write and edit, time to workout, time to read.  The plan that I created would allow me to get a whole bunch of work done, and really set me up to generate the life I most desire.

Consciousness creates reality.  That means to me that I am capable of manifesting the life I want to live.  Rather than get stuck in another so-so job; instead of working somewhere for eight hours a day that does not make me happy, I actively pursue the life I want, work for myself and spend more time in a good headspace.

Have I managed to do this?  Yes…and no.  I am still not entirely following my schedule, and I am coming up with distractions and excuses to carry it out completely.  Why am I failing at this?

Questions and answers.

I need to be completely honest with myself here.  I have had issues with ambition for a long time now.  There are ideas I have.  Plans get made.  Yet, time moves forward, and I continue to return again and again to the same issues.

Stay with me here, this might be something of a wild ride.  There is a pattern to my life, and I think I am only now acknowledging how much power I have given it.  In an ironic twist, I have been blogging for some time now about how we are the only ones who have control over our emotions.  Nobody but me feels what I feel.  How often do I take control of what I am feeling?  When am I most aware of the thoughts, feeling and action in regards to consciously creating my reality?  When do I let myself just go with the flow?

I see this pattern before me.  I plot out a new idea to work for myself, either with the writing of my novels or starting some new kind of writing-related business, or somehow working for myself.  Then I start up, I get a little traction…and then it falls apart.  Distractions overwhelm me, I half-ass my plan, I get disenchanted…then I stop believing in myself.  The conclusion is reached that I am incapable of making this happen, and it’s time to once again take another job working for someone else…and hopefully this time it won’t bore me, make me miserable, or otherwise feel like a total waste of time.

The pattern repeats.

Rinse, repeat.  I created Pathwalking in 2012, the idea being that I took a New Years Action, and started to blog weekly.  Pathwalking almost instantly became my life philosophy.  From there, I have further developed this idea of working on active conscious reality creation.  Overall, my life has been pretty excellent since I started this.  I’ve achieved a lot of different things and seen my life advance in some rather awesome ways.

Yet here I am today, without a job again, and I am questioning my purpose in life.  I am questioning my motivation, my ambition, my willpower.  Am I willing to do what needs to be done to consciously create my reality?  Do I believe in myself enough to manifest this?

The pattern must be broken.

I am the only one who can change this.  The pattern can only be broken by me.  It is up to me to use my own mind, to become truly aware of what I am feeling and to do something with that.  There is no magic pill, there is no single answer to this, except that I have to take action.  I have to break this pattern.

Tony Robbins writes a lot about breaking patterns.  To do that, you have to be aware of the words you choose to describe your emotions and situations you find yourself in.  Rather than self-sabotage by allowing myself to get distressed with the process or depressed or failing to keep to my plan, I need to change my self-talk.  I need to get impressed by the possibility, and I need to allow a momentary setback instead of depression; I need to not be failing at keeping my plan, I need to change my approach to the plan.  Break my habits, break my patterns, redirect the language in my head.

Only I have the answers.

I am never going to have all the answers…nor do I want to.  Life is about questions, learning, exploring, and gaining new knowledge and insight.  I am capable of conscious reality creation, and I can manifest the life I desire.  I see the pattern I do not want to follow before me, and I alone can break it.

Apologies for the rambling of this particular post.  There is a lot on my mind, and for some reason this one has been really hard to compose.  There are bridges I intend to cross, and I need to get the hell out of my own way.  That’s what this is about.  Nobody but me feels what I feel, I alone can ask the questions and seek the answers.  Only I can break my pattern, change my habits, and manifest my desires.

Your support, reading these disjointed paragraphs today, is greatly appreciated.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 34:

Diet:  I did not fully track my diet last week.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, no trips to the gym.  One walk.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 8 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things only once last week.

 

This is the forty-ninth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Do I Give My Intention Attention?

Do I have enough intention and desire to go where I truly want to go?

That’s the question I am trying to answer currently.  As I am walking my chosen path, I have to examine if I have sufficient conviction.

Why is that important?  Because if I do not put enough thought, feeling and intentional action into this, I will remain stationary.  I have to give this more than just lip-service in order to achieve my goals.

It is my belief that I can manifest what I want from my life.  I have done it before, as I have stated in many previous posts.  The main issue is focus.  If I do not focus my attention on my intention, I will move at a snail’s pace, if at all.

I have gotten really good at seeing the path I want to take, envisioning the conclusion, and then beginning my trek.  Except then, as I start along my journey, I get distracted, or I spread out my focus, or I don’t give enough time and effort as I should into making the desired thing happen.

A perfect example – my business idea.  Several years ago I started Off the Compass Solutions, which I set-up as small-business consulting.  I leveraged my IT knowledge, writing skills and general office capabilities as a business.

Rather than focus on one specialty, I multitasked across several fields.  Because my attention was divided, my intention was unclear…and my business barely twitched and went nowhere.

Give your intention attention.

One of the biggest obstacles to Pathwalking I have encountered along the way is my own indecision.  I have often been wishy-washy about my desires, I have split up my focus, and I haven’t always given my 100% attention to…well…anything.

I pride myself professionally on my ability to multitask.  Hell, on more than one occasion it has been the necessity to switch roles at a given job that has kept that job interesting for me.  I sometimes have a short attention span, which is not helpful to conscious reality creation.

In addition to my sometimes insufficient attention span, my fear of failure and equal fear of success often prove able saboteurs.  So many times I have decided to not decide, or made a very soft and ineffectual decision.  This has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve encountered.

I recognize my issue here.  I see that I need to give my intention more attention.  The challenge before me is how to do that.

Logically, I understand what I need to do.  I look at how I have manifested my desires before.  The trouble I encounter, though, is maintaining my focus.  Shutting out the distractions and the doubts and making this thing happen.

Thought is intention.

I have several ideas for the path I most want to walk.  This has usually been my experience.  Choosing only one at a time has frequently been a challenge.  What if I choose wrong?  Then, what if I put all my energy into this one thing, and I fail?  What if I give this my all and I succeed?  Then, what if I screw it all up somehow?

Because of that reaction, I split my attention.  I have a back-up plan, I have an alternative path to choose when and if this one becomes unnavigable.  I have another idea I can try, and I am always considering the alternatives.

Talk about divided attention.  Is it any wonder I struggle with this like I do?  Because my intention is fragmented, I find myself facing the same issues over and over.

What am I ultimately afraid of?  Disappointment.  If I fail/if I succeed, I might disappoint people, myself included.  Abandonment.  If I fail/if I succeed, I might be abandoned by those who love me.  Ultimately, it’s a fear of the unknown and not being entirely willing to accept it and still act.

I want to walk my own path in life because I don’t just want to exist, I want to experience life.  I want to learn new things, have interesting experiences, and ultimately be happy.  Further, I want to share that with others, which is part of why I write about my work on conscious reality creation.  I don’t want to continue to work meaningless jobs, wasting most of my day…I want to be, have, and do more than that.

Intention requires action.

When I was healing from my injuries, I gave my entire attention to the process.  There was never an alternative.  I would heal, completely, no question.  Every step of the way, through therapy and recovery, the only outcome I saw was complete healing.  My intention got my whole attention, and it worked.  If I don’t show you my scars or tell you about it, you would never know the extent of the damage to my body.

I intend to earn my living as a writer.  I want to write these blogs, my novels, and perhaps television and movies.  It would be completely acceptable to work on freelance copywriting, copyediting, web content and SEO writing.    I am a writer, and I intend to put my energy into writing.

The biggest obstacle to this path is my attention.  I need to stop distracting myself with thoughts of inadequacy.  My fears need to be acknowledged, but not allowed to rule me and my actions.  I need to hyper-focus on seeing myself as a successful writer, no matter what genre I work in.  It’s important that I see this as the only possible outcome.

No contingencies, no back-up plans.  I can have other paths in mind, but I cannot walk more than one path at a time…nobody can.  I need to focus my attention on this intention.  From there, I believe I can consciously create reality, and manifest the life I most desire.

Do your intentions get your attention?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

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