The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: loving (Page 1 of 10)

Will Your Path Make You Happy?

What is important to me is that I live a good life, and am happy more often than not.

We all have different priorities.  Nobody’s emotions are exactly the same.  While we may give our emotions the same names, odds are how they feel to each of us differs.

Taking that another step, what makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy.  Not just because of how it may feel differently to each of us, but because the what of happiness is such a wide perspective.

Right now our society is beset by people who care about nobody but themselves.  Business leaders and government officials have been particularly selfish and uncaring.  Many see the world as a pie, but a singular, small, limited pie, with only a few slices to go around.  Rather than use their ability to produce unlimited pie, they hoard what they have and try to convince everyone else that this is the truth.

There is not enough pie to go around.  I am going to take this all for myself, and none for you.  Of course, if they viewed this as limitless instead, we would all have more to share, more to give, more in general.

The Universe is vast beyond our ability to comprehend it.  Further, the Universe is abundant.  This is not a place of lack and want, it is a place of more than enough and plenty.  It’s important to recognize this because I believe that a tremendous amount of our unhappiness comes from feeling lack.

We all want to feel.

This is something we often deny.  I think one of the reasons for the popularity of the notion of Vulcans in Star Trek is the lack of emotion.  When you don’t feel emotion, you don’t feel want, and as such you don’t feel lack or loss.  Emotions are viewed as weakness, and showing them often is considered socially unacceptable.

Thing is, like it or not, we are emotional creatures.  Humans feel things.  Good and bad, happy and sad, ecstatic and angry, and everything in between – having emotions is part of the human experience.  Taking this out further, I believe that the thing we most want from our lives is to feel positive emotions.

Why do you do the things you do?  Because at the end of the day, you want to feel good.  Yes, this is a generalization, but I believe that most of us want to experience good things in our lives.  We want to be happy, or at least content, with the lives we lead.

It’s all well and good to just be.  If that makes you happy, then more power to you.  But if you are displeased with life more often than otherwise, I am pretty sure that you are probably working to find ways to be more content.  Means to be happier.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves how our lives are to be.  Yes, that involves working towards goals, some of which are material.  But even the material goals are meant to be part of something more, something greater.  My goal may be to become a best-selling author, but WHY I want to achieve that is because in the end, I believe that that will make me happy.

Happy and nature versus society.

We have been presented with a pretty standard expectation of what life should be.  There is a widespread belief on the part of our society for what we should be doing, how we should be living, and what we should expect.  While on the one hand we encourage people to dream and strive to grow bigger than they are, on the other hand we discourage them from stepping away from the common.  Often we tell them that taking their own path is fraught with risk, and an unacceptably low chance of reward.

Is it any wonder our society often seems kind of schizophrenic?  We tell you that this is the land of opportunity, but then we advise you not to take a chance.  You get told that you should strive to be more than you are, but then people tell you they’re afraid you’ll fail.  We play on fear so frequently that we find that state of being to be perfectly ok.

I for one do not want to live in a state of fear.  Life is too short and too full of possibilities for me to accept that fear should dominate me.  Yes, things can happen to you when you take a risk…but things can also happen to you when you DON’T take chances.  We often are lead to believe that it’s better not to try at all than to try and fail.

Do you know what our world would be like today if many of the great innovators had accepted that?  If they had not tried and failed and tried again, so many modern conveniences we take for granted just would not exist.  Sometimes failure is the best teacher.

In the end it’s all about emotions.

Frequently the things we want are material.  From the physical like cars and homes and jewelry to the abstract like good jobs, great relationships and wealth, these are tangible things.  Yet why do you think you want the tangible things you want?  Because you believe they will make you happy.

This is part of why we all want different things.  What makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy, him happy, her happy, them happy, and so on.  We all want different things, and even when we want similar things they may be for different reasons.  My point is, the things we want are actually manifested tangibles of the intangibles we truly desire.

I do not know anybody who wants to be unhappy.  Even the people I know who seem to take some sort of pleasure in being frequently miserable do not actually desire for that to be their state of being.  In the end, the paths we walk are lead to a good emotional place.

Acknowledging this can go a long ways towards understanding ourselves better.  When we recognize that we have emotional needs, I believe we can do better with our self-care.

Last and certainly not least – you deserve to be happy.  Really, truly, you do.  You are worthy of having a good and happy life.  I know that may be hard to believe sometimes – I certainly struggle with it.  But it is unequivocally true.

How do you think the things you want from your path will make you happy?

 

This is the three-hundred-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription!

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What is Well-Intentioned Resistance?

As you walk your chosen paths, you will meet well-intentioned resistance.

Well-intentioned resistance is when people give you news and information that is “for your own good” or to “tell it like it is” or to otherwise offer advice, in order to keep you from making “poor” choices.  This comes from those closest to you, and can be very disconcerting.

Society has certain norms and expectations of us.  We are supposed to go through the motions.  You work five days a week, at least eight hours a day.  Get a job that pays the most money you can make, and expect that it might be soul-sucking and lacking in fun.  Have a romantic partner, because you’re not supposed to be alone.  Get a college education. 

When you break from those expectations, those who are closest to you may not understand.  They think that because you are doing something different and possibly risky, you don’t recognize the dangers.  They may well believe in you, but they also are firmly rooted in that which is considered “normal”.  What you are doing is alien, unusual, and thus suspect.

Meeting well-intentioned resistance is deeply frustrating.

The challenge of finding and choosing your own path, and breaking away from the societal norm is difficult enough.  When your loved ones question your choices, and your actions, it adds a whole layer of difficulty you don’t need.  Working on being more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, then employing consciousness to create a new reality is huge.  Breaking from the expected is scary enough, but having other people add their fears to your work isn’t helpful.

Pathwalking is about taking control of life, choosing your own adventures.  When you come to terms with the notion that consciousness creates reality, it feels almost crazy.  Can it really be THAT easy to break away from a life that leaves me flat and build one that excites me?  Of course the answer is both yes and no, because becoming AWARE of how and what you are thinking, feeling and acting upon takes a lot of adjustment.

Adding outside influences to this mix is inevitable.  Unless you are completely alone in the world, or cut-off from news and social-media and whatnot, you will encounter outside influences.  It can be tough to avoid general outside influences, but it’s really hard to avoid loved ones, be they family or friends.

Don’t let the other people’s fear become your fear.

Because nobody but you can know what is in your head, explaining the path you are walking may feel futile.  Try though you might to show in detail how you are striving to manifest a life you want, some people simply won’t get it.  This is especially true when those people love you, and you love them, and they only want what they think is best for you.

This is one of the key issues, of course.  What THEY think is best for YOU.  How do they know?  How can they know?  Answer – they don’t.  But in their own experiences, what you are doing might seem unusual, might seem overly optimistic, might even seem crazy.  Because they don’t want you to be hurt, they offer you their own point-of-view, which is resistance to the change you are working to make.

It is human nature to protect those we love.  Whether that means standing between your child and a hungry lion, or trying to dissuade that child from an idea you don’t understand and fear might maul them in the same manner, it is viewed as protective, and a part of love.  Of course that makes it all-the-more insidious.

How do you accept that love without letting it affect you?

While our loved ones are throwing a wet blanket over our path in an attempt to stop us from being hurt, we, in turn, don’t want to hurt them.  Yet we generally won’t tell them to back off, or thanks but no thanks, or what-have-you.  Further, if they are the type to harp on a topic long enough, no matter how strong your psyche, it will wear you down and complicate the path you are walking.

What can you do about this?

First: Don’t take it in unless it REALLY resonates with you.  Sometimes, this outside perspective may show that you actually SHOULD step away from the path you are on.  Maybe the well-intentioned resistance opens a new path showing that which you are on won’t work.  However, once you’ve reached the point of meeting this resistance, this likely won’t be the case.

Second: Don’t argue.  It’s part of our nature to meet resistance with resistance.  This won’t dissuade the well-intentioned, they will take it as a sign that they are right.

Third: Don’t fully engage.  Thank them for their advice, but don’t really engage them to go further.  Change the topic.  Walk away.  Make an excuse to get off the phone or stop texting or whatever.

Fourth: Don’t discuss it with them in the future.  The people offering well-intentioned resistance have shown that they are not a good sounding board, so it might be best to steer clear of the topic as often as possible.

Fifth: Consult with a confidant for reassurance.  We are only human, and when our loved ones show that they don’t believe in our goals, well-intentioned or not, it hurts.  Talking with someone who supports your path can restore your confidence.

Keep walking your own path.

Pathwalking is a challenge.  However, I believe that manifesting the life I most desire, and being happy in what I do and how I spend my days is more important than going with the flow and being discontent.  This is why I am striving to choose for myself, and walk the best path for me that I can.

Have you met well-intentioned resistance along the way?

 

This is the two-hundred ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How to Make Monday YOUR Day

Today will be whatever you make it be.

It’s far too easy to approach Monday and the traditional start of the work week with distress, trepidation, displeasure, and unhappiness.  There is an entire culture of Monday woe in this society, which has been and continues to be capitalized on, and as such gets reinforced.

Does anyone want Monday to suck?  I am pretty sure the answer is NO.  I don’t really know anyone who wants to be miserable, who wants to have a bad day and a bad week, or who craves feeling powerless and unhappy.

We are all so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.  For real, we are the creators of the world in which we live.  My favorite line from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has always been, “We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams.”  In other words, we have control over the lives we live.  We choose the beat we dance to in this life, and the dreams we experience.

Keeping this in mind, why do we so readily ascribe lousiness to Monday?  Because that’s our culture.  We have this wide-ranging belief that Monday, as the beginning of the new work week, is going to probably be no fun, distressing, and generally unpleasant.

If like attracts like, and consciousness creates reality, what do you think approaching Monday with dread is going to do?  Further, why perpetuate this negative, frankly depressing approach to a day in our lives?  We are only on this earth for a limited time.  Yeah, there are going to be days that suck, and there are going to be issues and problems and challenges to be had, and sometimes it really is easiest to just go with it, go with the flow, let it be as it will be.

However, we have a choice.  Rather than fall into this notion and allow for another lousy Monday, another set-up for a less-than-desired work week, why don’t we seek better?  Why don’t we use the tools we have available to us like gratitude and positivity generators to change the station, tune in more desirable music?

Yes, we will need to expend some effort to break from the norm.  It could make people look at us askance, and wonder why we aren’t doing things in the same way they are.  So what?  If like attracts like, and consciousness creates reality, if we approach the week from a positive perspective, then we are apt to attract more positives our way.

Monday needn’t start us off in deficit, we have the ability instead to begin in abundance.  Wouldn’t you rather look to be content and happy than distraught and unhappy?  Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we have the power to choose how to approach the start of the work week, we can work on choosing to approach it from a place of abundance.  When we see the day for possibility rather than for impossibility, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-sixth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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How do you recognize if you’re walking the right Path?

How do I know if I am on the right path?

This is probably the most basic, yet most challenging question to ask.  The answer is both amazingly simple, and yet fairly complicated.

Pathwalking is making choices about living life, in order to work to consciously create our personal reality as we want it to be.  Rather than simply going along with life and letting whatever happens, happen; as we walk our chosen paths we strive to be present and aware.  We don’t want to let life just occur, we are working on living life to its fullest.

There is always more than one path.  That’s how the universe works.  If consciousness creates reality, as this blog asserts, then we can choose virtually any path we might desire.  As such, there is more than one “right” path for us.

It’s important to recognize that the idea of “right” is fairly loaded.  Right is often the extreme opposite of wrong, but in this context right is a matter of feeling, desire, and drive.  Further, today’s right choice could be wrong for us tomorrow.

I recognize that that’s pretty vague.  This is because the specifics of what is right for me are not going to necessarily be right for you, or for anyone else for that matter.  “Right” in this particular context is a matter of feeling, belief and faith.

How do I recognize the right path?

The short answer is that the right path will feel good.  It will almost seem like its too easy, and the work you do along the right path feels less like work, and more like play.  It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of time when you are on the right path, because you get so caught up in it you just take action because it’s what you need to do.

For example, when I am writing, and really getting into my work, whether it’s my blog or my fiction or even writing for business, I often just flow with it. Time loses meaning, and I come away from a project feeling complete, content, and like I wasn’t working at all, just doing what feels good to me.

I desire to be writing more frequently.  I am driven to write, and that is how I am certain that this is the path that is right for me.

It feels good.  It feels like it is what I am supposed to do.  That is how I know my path is the right path.  But to really be travelling upon that path, it’s important to believe and have faith.

What’s the difference between belief and faith?

In many respects these are similar concepts, but not in this context.  How does this work, then?  Belief is important to Pathwalking, because if you don’t believe that consciousness can create reality, and that you can choose your own destiny, your own path in life, then you are going to be incapable of living this way.

I believe that I can create the life I desire.  I have made this work before, more than once.  And that is where faith comes into play.

I believe in this…but I don’t necessarily have faith.  I believe, in the abstract, but my faith in my own belief is open to scrutiny, questioned by my own skepticism.  But more than that, what this boils down to is my faith in myself.  I believe that consciousness creates reality, but I have no faith in myself to consciously create it.

If I am responsible for consciously creating my reality, then I need to have faith in myself.  I am the only one who can make MY life what I want it to be.  But if I lack faith in myself, what can I do?

How do you create faith in yourself?

When you believe in yourself, you believe you are capable of almost anything.  We nearly all feel this way as children, but as we get older and we are exposed to certain “realities”, this fades.  We can regain our ability to believe in abstracts, but after that we have to have faith – faith in ourselves.

Skepticism, cynicism, self-doubt, self-recrimination, second-guessing and self-deprecation are all born of a lack of faith.  Despite what you might believe about conscious reality creation, you don’t have sufficient faith in yourself to achieve it.  This is evident if your self-talk is frequently negative, such as I am no good; I am unimportant; I am fat; I am lazy; I fail more often than I succeed; if I don’t joke about myself everyone else will; and so on.  When you speak ill of yourself, it shows a lack of faith in who you are capable of being.

You may not be who you want to be right now.  That’s ok.  One of the reasons to choose Pathwalking is to become the person you most want to be, even if that is not who you are now.  To do that you have to think about it, feel it out, take inspired, intentional actions – and believe in the possibility; have faith in your ability to succeed.  When it feels like you can conquer the world, and you believe in conscious reality creation and have faith in yourself, you will know that are on the right path for you.

Do you have faith in yourself and your ability to choose your own destiny?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Five Quick-and-Easy Positivity Generators

Everyone prefers to feel good over feeling bad.

Finding positivity is about finding ways to feel good.  We live in a society that feeds on a steady diet of negativity.  Fear is a tool employed by many differently “leaders” to keep people in line, and sensationalism sells and gets more clicks on social media.  This can make it far easier to live in fear and negativity than to find positivity.

Also, it’s Monday…so most of us are going to work after a weekend off.  It is widely accepted that Mondays should be loathed.  I figure, why start the work week in negativity and set that tone for the week, when we can create positivity and allow ourselves to feel better.

There are many, many things that generate positivity, but the follow five are things you can do with little or no effort, more than once in a given day, and they will help.

  1. Smile. Seriously, just take a minute and smile.  You don’t need to laugh, you don’t need to have anything in particular to smile about, simply smile for a minute or so, and see how you feel.
  2. Breathe deeply. Take at least two minutes to breathe deeply, intentionally.  Really focus on the breathing, and let the air in.  You’d be surprised how just breathing and not doing anything else will make you feel.
  3. Sit or stand more erect. Consider your posture.  When you slouch and slump, there is no energy flow.  When you stand up straight or sit up straight, you energize your core, and you would be surprised how that will improve your mood.
  4. Stretch. Roll your neck, roll your shoulders, stretch out your arms and legs for a minute or two. These are the only bodies we have, and we tend to abuse them.  Stretching doesn’t just keep our joints and muscles strong, it also helps us relax and feel more flexible.
  5. Disconnect. Go offline for a few minutes.  Take a short walk.  Step away from whatever you are doing and reset yourself.  This can be less than five minutes, and I always have suspected this is part of the allure for smokers.  You get away from it all a few minutes to get your nicotine fix.  Well, for non-smokers, we also need a few minutes to get away and break from things.  Leave your computes, tablets and phones behind for 1 to 5 minutes, and free yourself.

None of these things need to take more than five minutes, and can take as little as one minute.  All of them will allow us to feel better, and I know that I prefer to feel good over feeling bad.  It seems so very simple, and yet we tend to neglect this all too easily.

There are other options out there, but I suggest rather than getting caught up in the negativity of the world at large, each of us can generate positivity for ourselves, and from there we might find we can do much, much more than we think.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that there are little things we can do to feel good, we have tools at our disposal to improve our days.  When we make the effort to use these tools to check and alter our feeling, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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What are challenges vs struggles with Pathwalking?

Pathwalking can be fraught with many challenges.

I long ago came to believe that nothing worth having is ever easy.  But there is a difference between challenge and struggle.  Challenge involves growth and proactive change, while struggle is stagnation and reactive change.  Challenge is deciding to change, while struggle is forced.

Many of the challenges in Pathwalking are due to outside influences, some which we can control and some which we cannot.  Recognizing this is the first step towards working with it, and keeping challenges from becoming struggles.

Further, when you recognize that you are struggling, it is possible to transmute your struggle into a challenge.  This is where taking control of the matters which you can control comes into play.

What is outside of your control?  Other people, situations that are not of your making, world news and such.  Let’s face it…we live in tumultuous times.  There is a tremendous amount of upheaval and reactionary measures happening because people are either making poor choices or no choices due to fear of change.  We can protest, we can vote more wisely, we can choose where and how to spend our money, but we cannot change these people, their actions or how they think, no matter how badly we want to do that.

What is inside of your control?  Everything that is yours in your life.  Your thoughts, feelings and actions, your situations, your mental state, how you use your time and so on.  You are the only person who can think for you, feel for you, act for you.  Nobody else can make you think, feel or do anything you do not allow yourself to think, feel and do.

We frequently give this away without realizing that we are doing that.  They influenced my thinking and she made me feel that way and I only did that thing because you made me do it.  Easy enough to give that power away, but that is a choice, a decision.  The power is yours, but you get to choose if you will take hold of it, or not.

Looking out for yourself is not selfish.

We live in a society obsessed with polar opposites.  Black and white, rich and poor, conservative and liberal, gay and straight, fat and thin, etc.  We are inundated with choices of either/or, when the truth is most people in every way fall somewhere between extremes.

One of these is the notion that if you are not selfless, you are selfish.  As such, we often find ourselves believing that self-care is selfish, so we neglect it to care for others.  Then we wonder why we are struggling, when we have accepted this notion and let ourselves take a second-rate place in our own lives.

When we do not hold onto things for ourselves, and we do not care for ourselves, we actually take away our ability to give to others.  We have to be full in order to have enough to share, and because this is an abundant universe that is not a selfish notion.  We are all unique individuals, and we all have different needs and wants, but no matter what those may be, we all need to care for ourselves.  Putting yourself first is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t ignore that there is a world apart from yourself.  You are the center of your own world, but you are also a part of rather than apart from the rest of the world. That’s an important distinction to remain clear on.

Choose challenge.  Choose change.

Change is inevitable.  It will happen, because that is part of life and growth.  Even when you are standing perfectly still, the air around you is changed by your body heat and your breath.  That is the nature of all things.  So rather than struggle from resisting change, accept the challenges that may come from change.

The challenges of Pathwalking will be different for everyone.  Things I find simple and easy you may find unbelievably difficult, and vice versa.  I am a thinker, and while I am empathic, I have often struggled to understand people who are true feelers.  However, while I can be logical about my feelings, actually understanding the meanings of my feelings can be difficult for me.  Then there are people who are doers – they take actions with seemingly little thought or feeling going into them, sometimes with extreme wisdom and sometimes less so.

Many of the challenges thinkers, feelers or doers will experience may be similar, but they may also vary rather widely.  The thing is to make the choices and decide to work on challenges we face, rather than to let choices and decisions out of our control, and work on struggles that drain us and disempower us.

Pathwalking is empowering.

Despite challenges and occasional struggles, Pathwalking, ultimately, is empowering.  Choosing your own path means that you are working on deciding how you want life to be.  When we decide this for ourselves, we open ourselves to discovering our happiness, and that, I believe, is the thing we most want to know.

When you are struggling, it is always possible to face it head-on and turn it into a challenge.  It may not be easy, but I believe empowering the self is always worthwhile.  Choosing my own destiny and deciding how I want to be I believe is key to living the best life I possibly can.

What challenges do you work with regularly, and how do you approach them?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Where can you find Positivity?

Positivity can be found anywhere we look.

There are all sorts of thing, big and small, that can bring about positivity.  Sometimes they are easier to see than others.

We are alive and breathing.  We have amazing technology at our fingertips.  We are capable of loving and being loved.  We can have, do or be pretty much anything we desire.  There is sky above us and earth beneath our feet.

I know that it can feel like an impossible struggle to find positivity out there.  Sometimes the weather is upsetting, at times those we love and respect are disappointing us, and don’t even get me started on the state of politics in the world today.  And yet, even with all that taken into account, there are still ways to uncover and relish in positivity.

Sometimes we just need to slow down, take a breath, and maybe step away from things that are giving us more negativity than we desire.  Sometimes we need distractions, finding things to make us smile and laugh or otherwise redirect our thought processes.

Gratitude and inclusion can go a very long ways towards generating positivity.  Doesn’t it feel good to hear someone say “thank you?”  Do you know that saying “thank you” can be just as powerful, if not more so?  Expressing gratitude in our lives builds positive energy like nothing else can…and it’s really, really easy.

Perfect example – today in the United States is Memorial Day.  I want to say Thank You to everyone who has given of themselves to serve the country and protect and defend what we believe in.  Thank you, also, to those who offer the closest support to these men and women.  Thank you.

Our society is currently experiencing a real problem with exclusion.  We are being artificially divided by race, color, creed, religion, gender, and any other artifice one could devise so that those who feel they are in power can stay there.  When we work to be inclusive instead, however, we can generate an unbelievable amount of positivity, and when we work together we all benefit.

Yes, finding positivity can feel pretty hard.  But finding and generating positivity is good for our overall wellbeing, and it is always available to us – we just have to seek it out, and keep ourselves open to it.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we can find positivity almost anywhere that we look for it, we can open ourselves up to new ways to feel good and be happier.  When we make the effort to uncover and partake of positivity, we make ourselves feel healthier, and as such we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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Why Walk Your Own Path? You Control More Than You Think

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.

This can be a particularly difficult concept to believe, but that doesn’t lessen the truth of it.  You are in control over how you think, how you feel, and how you act.

I know that sometimes it feels like that control is really, really limited.  Truth is, however, that the only limitations are those that you yourself place.  Otherwise, you have far more power and capability to change your life as you would most desire than you probably believe.

I created Pathwalking with the intent of taking control over my life, and creating the destiny I believe I am meant for.  I have long known that the standard courses in life were not for me, and overall I have not taken those particular paths.

One career since college?  Nope, not at all.  I have held numerous jobs, but not followed a single career path until fairly recently.  Marriage in my late twenties or early thirties and raise kids?  Nope, didn’t get married until my early forties, and we’re not going to produce children.  Buy a house, use it to build equity and maintain stability?  While I have been a homeowner, the current plan is to not buy again anytime soon, and rent for the purpose of mobility.

Why am I pointing these out?  Because it is way too easy to let society dictate control over our lives.  We live in a society that discourages us from striking out on our own path, rather than choosing something not-the-normal.  Rather than empower the individual, our society prefers to keep us underfoot, at the whim of our bosses, our religious and political leaders, our supposed superiors.

You are In Charge of You

Nobody is superior to anybody else.  It does not matter if they have more education, more money, more experience or are older than you or more specialized, the only person you answer to, when all is said and done, is you.  The only power anyone else enjoys over you is in place because you have given it away.

That is a particularly hard pill to swallow.  We are so indoctrinated into this idea that other people can control us, that other people can be responsible for our emotions and actions, that we cannot believe this is only true because we allow it to be.  Other people are only able to affect us as much or as little as we allow them to.

For example, let’s say you were in a relationship, but then your partner unceremoniously dumped you.  Yes, you feel hurt, probably betrayed, and upset…but chances are you blame them for hurting you.  They caused you to be hurt, they treated you poorly, and in all likelihood your feelings and opinion of your former partner will only spiral downwards from there.

Yes, it was the action on the part of your former partner that caused those bad feelings.  Yes, it is perfectly normal and totally human to feel hurt, betrayed and upset.  But, you are the one feeling these feelings. As such, you get to choose how long you will hold onto them, and how far along the downward spiral you care to travel.

You are the only one who can feel how you feel.  While there are uncountable outside influences that can and will effect how you feel, you are the only one who actually feels what you feel.  As such, the person who has caused you to hurt only hurts you for as long as you allow them to have that power over you.

Taking another step from here, you and only you are responsible for your actions.  Nobody can make you do anything you do not choose to do.  Yet because our society is so keyed into not being accountable for anything, it is easy to place the blame for bad actions we have taken -outside of ourselves.

Take Back Your Power

When you understand that you are the one in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, you get to choose how much of that control to exert.  You will feel upset for as long as you hold onto it, and you will not take an action that is not of your own accord, unless you choose to and blame it on another.  You are the one who gets to decide.  You get to choose.

You will notice over the coming weeks changes to this blog.  I am studying new ideas to improve what I share here, and that means things will be changing.  Since change is inevitable, happens whether we want it or not, I am exerted control over change, and choosing to alter this how I desire the change to be.

Last week I explained how intention is the reality of control.  Intention is composed of thought and feeling and action, and you are the only person who can control all of your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.  Nobody else can choose for you, nobody else can be in control, unless you allow them to be.  You can keep the power over your thoughts, feelings and actions, or you can give it away in part or total.  That is your decision.

Consciousness creates reality.  Recognizing our own control over the vast majority of our lives, we can be empowered to make almost anything we can imagine of them.  We are free thinkers; we are the only ones who feel the things we feel, however we feel them; we are the only ones who can act on our own thoughts and feelings.

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.  When you recognize this, embrace it and see just how endless the possibilities are before you.

What feels out of your control that you can take back for yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

How to Build Positivity: Getting into Better Shape

Taking steps to get in shape can generate massive positivity.

Getting in shape can also take a number of different forms.  Health is not simply measured as physical, but also mental, spiritual and emotional.  Giving attention to any one of these can improve our quality of life and be massively positive, while working on more than one or all of them can be hugely empowering.

Everyone is familiar with processes for getting into shape physically.  Diet and exercise, skin care, and other activities to maintain and improve ourselves are where the majority of the focus tends to go when we strive to get in shape.  We eat better, we exercise more, we work on taking better care of these physical vessels where we will exist for our whole time on earth.

Getting into shape mentally can take several different forms.  Reading books and listening to lectures or taking other steps to improve our knowledge base, playing games to sharpen our minds, getting enough rest…anything that provides the mind stimulus or flexibility gets us into mentally better health.  Mental health also involves dealing with matters such as anxiety and depression, and working on keeping ourselves together in the best manners possible.

Getting into spiritual shape is easy to neglect.  Everyone has different types and degrees of faith, whether we are talking about a belief in God, or the Universe, or even in yourself.  This is not about religion, that’s a wholly separate idea.  Spiritual health is believing that we can do great things, that we can find and create the impossible, and that we recognize and care for our inner light, the energy that is our core being, our souls.  This is the least tangible aspect we possess in ourselves, but one that should not be neglected.

Emotional health is separate from mental health, in that our feelings and state of mind can differ.  Granted, when we feel low, when we are down or sad or depressed we will have a harder time creating the things we most desire.  Yet we are completely able to take ahold of and change our emotional state at will.  Exercising this particular ability really helps us to get into the best possible shape emotionally we can.

There are two particular activities that can help us get into better physical, mental, emotional and spiritual shape.  The first is simply breathing.  Pausing to breathe intentionally from time to time heightens our awareness, draws more oxygen into our bloodstream, can clear the mind and help get ahold of our emotions, and raises the spirit.  The second is meditation.  Taking the time to be still and enter into the place of no mind provides even more stimulus and shaping up than intentional breathing.

Working on getting into better shape is always a matter of positivity, no matter what aspect you are working on to that end.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that we can work on getting into better shape mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as well as physically, we gain an amazing tool for building positivity.  When we work on improving our state of being within any of these realms, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventy-third entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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