The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: love (Page 1 of 33)

Am I Being Proactive?

You may have noticed that by-and-large I only post positive, proactive thoughts.

Part of the reason why I choose this is because I feel horridly inundated by negativity.  There are so many things happening in the world right now that are upsetting.  Sometimes it is really hard to stay focused on creating good, because it feels increasingly futile.

Crossing the Bridges 55I began writing Positivity on Mondays to combat frequent negative messages at the start of the work week.  This has been really useful both for myself and others.  Pathwalking always takes a positive spin on the world, because the primary reason I choose to walk my own path is to create good in my life.

Consciousness creates reality.  So, when I continue to get angry over what the dumbass-in-chief does, or the inaction of Congress, or people denying science, logic and reason, is it any surprise I keep finding more?  Is it at all shocking that my motivation slips away?

I am frustrated.  This sinking feeling I often get as I browse Facebook and other social media is not useful.  Of course, the more attention and energy that I give to being concerned over where the world is heading distracts me from what I can control.

This is a systemic problem.  I know I am not the only one who, in the interest of staying in the know, winds up overwhelmed.  There are people I care about who are going to be, if they are no already, effected by a lot of these awful things.

What good does working on being proactive and positive do in the face of this insanity?

Proactive and positive are a force for good.

Because we manifest what we focus on with conscious reality creation, we have a choice.  I get to decide if I want to contribute to the feelings of anger, futility and hopelessness I am inundated with…or if I want to try to change the message.

This is not easy.  Maintaining my motivation to be proactive and positive is challenging.

I have mentioned before that I have long battled depression.  With the current state of the world as it is, and my empathic sensibilities, it’s been difficult.  I read and listen to a LOT of various self-help, motivational and similar works to build up my strength and fight off depression.

Because I have been working extra hard to combat depression, I am having trouble taking advantage of the opportunity right in front of me.  All my writing about conscious reality creation, and here I am in the midst of the perfect opportunity to make it go…and I am finding it difficult to be motivated to do so.

I recognize that there are steps I can take to work with this.  I just need to motivate myself to take them.

A friend recently asked me if I re-read my own work.  Truth is, once I have written and posted to the blog, I seldom go back to it.  I am great at offering insight into conscious reality creation, but not so good about going back and heeding my own advice.

I can write about actions I will take all day.  Motivating to take them, though, is another thing.

Proactive means taking the initiative.

Posting to the blog became a regular thing when I took an action on New Year’s rather than make a resolution.  I didn’t resolve to do something, I did something.  Action was taken.  I made a conscious choice to do, not to try.

Yoda said it best.  “Do or Do Not, there IS no try!”   I need to take ahold of my emotional state, follow my own words and be responsible for my own feelings.  It is time to take the initiative, stop letting myself be inundated by the negativity, and create the reality I want.

How?  Well, first, I need to spend less time online.  I already stopped visiting Twitter regularly because I didn’t need that volume of unnecessary and upsetting information.  The time has come to do the same to Facebook.  Keep messenger active so I can communicate with my friends, but close Facebook itself most of the time.

Second – I need to go back and reread what I have written.  I know that my writing impacts others.  That being the case, it’s really proactive of me to see if what I write can serve its primary purpose and impact ME.  This isn’t a selfish matter at all…it is an acknowledgment of the multi-purposefulness of what I write here.

Third – I need to stop getting down on myself when I get distracted, get upset over matters beyond my control that are happening, and so on.  I need to forgive myself for not living up to my own expectations of myself.  When I am feeling unmotivated, I need to allow myself a moment to feel it, but then I need to use an attitude shifter or another tool to be proactive and better consciously create reality.

Being proactive is empowering.

Finally, I must keep at it.  I cannot give up on myself, my goal to manifest the life I want, and using my consciousness to create my reality.  I alone can feel my feelings, and take actions appropriate or inappropriate.

Crossing the bridges is me consciously creating my reality.  I’ve got this.  I have done it before, and I will do it now.  The life I want and desire is mine to manifest, and I am deserving of it.  I know this.  It’s on me, and me alone to work with it.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 40:

Diet:  Mostly on track, but not writing it out

Exercise:  Fenced twice, but I did something to my right knee, so I’ve not been hitting the gym.

Writing:  Three blog posts, some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only two days last week, for 9 and 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things three days last week

 

This is the fifty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How Are Our Persons Different From People?

The people who become our persons in this life can be an amazing source of Positivity.

If, like me, you find that overall people make you crazy, you understand this distinction.  What it boils down to is those who we get close to in various ways are persons, as opposed to those who are the faceless masses we refer to as people.

Positivity 192People in this sense tend to drive us nuts.  They cut you off on the road, they elect idiots to office, they disbelieve in scientific facts, etcetera.  Most of us, at least my persons, generally agree that people suck.

Trouble is, we live in a world with more than 7 billion people.  If we all have even a dozen persons, that means that we are surrounded by people.  And we tend not to think well of people.

Dehumanization has been a tactic used to divide and conquer for time immemorial.  All across human history peoples go to war, disagree about religion, possessions, social stratifications, and so on.  Look at the whole NFL protest business happening now.  The protesters are attempting to call attention to injustice and social inequality…but to dehumanize them, their detractors want you to think they are disrespecting men and women in the military.

While it is a great source of positivity to have our persons, looking at people in opposition creates more negativity.  Consciousness creates reality.  What we focus on and think about we tend to draw more of to ourselves.

When we think poorly of people in the general sense, we empower those awful things we don’t want.  We give it attention and energy, and we further expand the chasm between those we call our persons and the general people of the world.

Think better of people.

People vs personsThis is a challenge.  I often comment that people suck.  I get angry about the vast amount of greed, selfishness, foolishness and ignorance constantly brought to the forefront of our collective consciousness.  When we post memes on social media, read and watch news stories, and follow the tweets of the narcissist-in-chief, we get more deeply divided and as such, conquered.

We like, love and respect our persons.  We tend to dislike, loathe, and disrespect people.  I know that before I comment again about how much people suck, I am going to think about how disempowering that is, to both them and me.

Is it possible, if we extend the positivity we generate from our persons to people, we can make the world better?

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that we think much better of our persons than we do people in general, we can get a sense of how we generate a lot of negativity.  When we stop saying that people suck, and let ourselves be divided and disempowered, we can work on thinking about people more like our persons.  Thus we empower them, and empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred ninety-second entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before, and receive your bonus content.

 

Who Am I Disappointing?

Should I be concerned about disappointing myself?

I struggle with this pretty frequently, and I know I am not alone in this.

Who am I Disappoiting?Who am I?  I ask that question a lot.  Part of why I keep asking is because I am constantly changing – which is part of the human condition.  Another reason why I ask is because I know that you probably have a different impression of me than I have of myself.

Ever hear a recording of your voice and feel like, whoa, is that really how I sound?  If you hear enough recordings of your voice, you get used to how everyone else hears you.  It gives you an outside impression of an aspect of yourself.

Same thing applies to photos.  Ever look at a picture and wince at how you look?  Again, you are seeing yourself from without.

Inside my own head, I see myself differently than how you see me.  My voice is deeper, my body is stockier rather than flabby, and my hair is more pepper than salt.  If I feel good about myself, then these superficial aspects you see are not terribly important.

However, if I start to see the flabby guy with the greying hair and it makes me feel bad, and I become disappointed about myself, this can begin an ugly trend that might pick up speed and spiral out to further disappointment.

I am a social person.  I do a lot of things that put me out there.  Between publishing these posts weekly and teaching fencing and standing up in SCA courts, I present multiple facets of who I am.  Because I want people to think well of me, I worry about the impressions I make.

Is there anyone who I should worry about disappointing?

Yes.  Myself.  Because it’s a universal truth that you cannot please all the people all the time.  Some people are going to think I am pretty awesome.  Others are going to think I am not so awesome.  Still others probably think I’m an asshole.  I have no control over what you think about me.

Except I really wish that I did.  I don’t want people to think I’m an asshole.  I want people to think well of me.  It matters to me that I not be a disappointment to anyone.

Why?  How come this is important to me at all?  Because at the root of all my fears is the ultimate fear of abandonment.  The fear that I will be left to stand completely and totally alone in the world.  Fear of success, fear of failure are really just the surface concerns.  What I fear the most is being abandoned.

Subconsciously, I think if I disappoint you, in time you’ll give up on me, and walk away.  So long, and thanks for all the fish.  If I do not live up to my ideals, I will lose the people I have in my life.

Of course, in realty, this is ludicrous.  But the larger issue that this causes is that I have a certain ideal I strive to live up to.  In the pursuit of my goals and the bridges I am crossing, I have a standard I work to maintain.

When I do not keep control of my diet, or I don’t get to the gym, or meditate, or stick to my plan, I end up disappointed in myself.  I berate myself, I get annoyed with myself, and begin to think poorly of who I am.

Where does the disappointment come from?

I supposed I could blame certain outside influences for my feelings of disappointment.  I know that certain people close to me feel I have not made the most of my life.  There is worry that I might let down other people who are close to me, and that while they won’t tell me I am disappointing them, I am.  Of course, there is nobody to blame, because how I feel is all on me.

I think it’s a matter of validation.  Yet in truth, I think its more valuation than validation.  The difference is that approval is not indicative of worth.  Yet, if you look at Trump, to him approval is the sign of his worth, so maybe it’s not so surprising a thing.

I have been struggling a long time with feeling worthwhile.  Because I have spent so much of my life seeking validation in order to gage my valuation, I disappoint myself too easily.  When I become disappointed, I begin to feel worthless, and I question everything.

To better combat this issue, I need to re-evaluate what I think of myself.  I have mentioned how important self-talk is before, and it really is essential to think well of who I am.  When I don’t think good thoughts about myself, is inevitable that I will wind up disappointing myself instead.

While I sometimes find affirmations a little cheesy, that does not lessen their importance.  I need to remember when I begin feeling disappointment in myself I am worthwhile.  If I am disappointing other people, that’s not on me, because the person I need to not disappoint is myself.

Affirmation is valuation.

My new affirmation, whenever I begin feeling as if I am disappointing myself, is this:

I am worthwhile, skilled, loved, and I deserve good things in my life.

Consciousness creates reality.  I need to recognize when I am thinking poorly of myself, and actively turn it around.  When you find yourself in the same struggle, I encourage you to acknowledge your own worth, and know that you are not alone in this.

We’ve got this.  We will not be disappointing anyone, ourselves included.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 39:

Diet:  Back on track, writing it out.

Exercise:  Fencing one day, three days at the gym, two days where I took long walks.

Writing:  Three blog posts, some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Four days last week, never less than 8 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things five days last week

 

This is the fifty-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Will Your Path Make You Happy?

What is important to me is that I live a good life, and am happy more often than not.

We all have different priorities.  Nobody’s emotions are exactly the same.  While we may give our emotions the same names, odds are how they feel to each of us differs.

Taking that another step, what makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy.  Not just because of how it may feel differently to each of us, but because the what of happiness is such a wide perspective.

Right now our society is beset by people who care about nobody but themselves.  Business leaders and government officials have been particularly selfish and uncaring.  Many see the world as a pie, but a singular, small, limited pie, with only a few slices to go around.  Rather than use their ability to produce unlimited pie, they hoard what they have and try to convince everyone else that this is the truth.

There is not enough pie to go around.  I am going to take this all for myself, and none for you.  Of course, if they viewed this as limitless instead, we would all have more to share, more to give, more in general.

The Universe is vast beyond our ability to comprehend it.  Further, the Universe is abundant.  This is not a place of lack and want, it is a place of more than enough and plenty.  It’s important to recognize this because I believe that a tremendous amount of our unhappiness comes from feeling lack.

We all want to feel.

This is something we often deny.  I think one of the reasons for the popularity of the notion of Vulcans in Star Trek is the lack of emotion.  When you don’t feel emotion, you don’t feel want, and as such you don’t feel lack or loss.  Emotions are viewed as weakness, and showing them often is considered socially unacceptable.

Thing is, like it or not, we are emotional creatures.  Humans feel things.  Good and bad, happy and sad, ecstatic and angry, and everything in between – having emotions is part of the human experience.  Taking this out further, I believe that the thing we most want from our lives is to feel positive emotions.

Why do you do the things you do?  Because at the end of the day, you want to feel good.  Yes, this is a generalization, but I believe that most of us want to experience good things in our lives.  We want to be happy, or at least content, with the lives we lead.

It’s all well and good to just be.  If that makes you happy, then more power to you.  But if you are displeased with life more often than otherwise, I am pretty sure that you are probably working to find ways to be more content.  Means to be happier.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves how our lives are to be.  Yes, that involves working towards goals, some of which are material.  But even the material goals are meant to be part of something more, something greater.  My goal may be to become a best-selling author, but WHY I want to achieve that is because in the end, I believe that that will make me happy.

Happy and nature versus society.

We have been presented with a pretty standard expectation of what life should be.  There is a widespread belief on the part of our society for what we should be doing, how we should be living, and what we should expect.  While on the one hand we encourage people to dream and strive to grow bigger than they are, on the other hand we discourage them from stepping away from the common.  Often we tell them that taking their own path is fraught with risk, and an unacceptably low chance of reward.

Is it any wonder our society often seems kind of schizophrenic?  We tell you that this is the land of opportunity, but then we advise you not to take a chance.  You get told that you should strive to be more than you are, but then people tell you they’re afraid you’ll fail.  We play on fear so frequently that we find that state of being to be perfectly ok.

I for one do not want to live in a state of fear.  Life is too short and too full of possibilities for me to accept that fear should dominate me.  Yes, things can happen to you when you take a risk…but things can also happen to you when you DON’T take chances.  We often are lead to believe that it’s better not to try at all than to try and fail.

Do you know what our world would be like today if many of the great innovators had accepted that?  If they had not tried and failed and tried again, so many modern conveniences we take for granted just would not exist.  Sometimes failure is the best teacher.

In the end it’s all about emotions.

Frequently the things we want are material.  From the physical like cars and homes and jewelry to the abstract like good jobs, great relationships and wealth, these are tangible things.  Yet why do you think you want the tangible things you want?  Because you believe they will make you happy.

This is part of why we all want different things.  What makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy, him happy, her happy, them happy, and so on.  We all want different things, and even when we want similar things they may be for different reasons.  My point is, the things we want are actually manifested tangibles of the intangibles we truly desire.

I do not know anybody who wants to be unhappy.  Even the people I know who seem to take some sort of pleasure in being frequently miserable do not actually desire for that to be their state of being.  In the end, the paths we walk are lead to a good emotional place.

Acknowledging this can go a long ways towards understanding ourselves better.  When we recognize that we have emotional needs, I believe we can do better with our self-care.

Last and certainly not least – you deserve to be happy.  Really, truly, you do.  You are worthy of having a good and happy life.  I know that may be hard to believe sometimes – I certainly struggle with it.  But it is unequivocally true.

How do you think the things you want from your path will make you happy?

 

This is the three-hundred-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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How Do You Feel Positive?

You woke up today.  That is tremendously positive.

You have air in your lungs.  Your heart is beating.  You have thoughts in your head.  These are all filled with positive energy.

Positivity 191You are reading these words on a computer, tablet or phone.  The positivity of that is impressive.

It is very easy to forget that the positive exists in the smallest, most trivial things in our lives.  Just being alive and living every day is immeasurably positive.

I know that it can be easy to lose sight of this.  Reading the news will make almost anyone feel negative.  I know many people who are struggling with money, health, weight, relationships, work, time management, and other matters that make it hard for them to feel good about life.  It often feels as if the negativity outweighs the positivity, and that there is far more bad than good in our world.

I know it may not feel like the truth, but you and I can control this.  We get to choose, every day, if we want to let the negativity overwhelm us, or if we want to find positives in this world.

Feeling Positive IS stronger than feeling negative.

That feels like a lie.  Except, in an abundant universe, it’s the truth.  We are just so used to being inundated with negatives that it can feel like positivity is at a premium, and hard to come by.

This is why recognizing the positive in the small things that make up our everyday lives is so useful.  We are here.  We have choices each and every day.  Sure, there are times we get frustrated, and we are made to feel as though this life is pointless.  Except, I want you to know, it is not.

You are valuable.  You are important, and You matter.  This is the truest thing for you to know and recognize about your life.

We are energy at our core.  The entire universe is made up of energy.  From the smallest nanoscopic particle to galaxies across the cosmos itself, all of it boils down to energy.  Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it just changes form.  Energy in its most raw form is neutral.  We get to choose if we want to generate the negative or the positive in our lives.

Feel positiveWe get to choose if we want to live in a positive world, or a negative one.  The decision to only recognize things that make us feel bad is really, truly up to each and every one of us.  It takes very little to find positivity…if you make the effort to do so.

We should not ignore that negative things happen.  There are things which we need to actively work to better and things we can do little to nothing about.  Sometimes we are going to feel negative about the world…but it is up to us whether we feel it, or choose to sink into it and let it overwhelm our senses.

I know that I prefer to feel good rather than bad.  I think it’s worth it to seek every possible way to make this so.  How do you want to feel?

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that there is positivity in the littles, most mundane aspects of our lives, we get to choose if we want to acknowledge it or not.  When we seek out positivity in the little things, we can overcome the seemingly vast amounts of negativity the world presents us, and as such we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred ninety-first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

 

What Do You Do With Your Freedom?

If you are reading this, you probably have freedom.

Freedom means a great deal.  In the USA, freedom means the right to gather peacefully, to protest injustice, to love whom we choose, to worship as we wish, to express ourselves, and more.  The positivity of this is immeasurable.

Positivty 190 - FreedomHowever, there are things we are going to see in a free country that we do not approve of.  White supremacists and neo-Nazis waving flags and taking to the streets is not cool.  However, they still have the right in a free country to peacefully march.

On the other hand, a black football player taking a knee during the national anthem in protest of injustice is equally protected, and a right in a free country.  Despite certain assumptions, this is not disrespectful of veterans or anyone else who fought for our freedom – in fact, quite the opposite.  This is what veterans have fought to allow us to do.  This is what it means to live in a free country.

Blindly following a leader leads to tyranny.  When our leaders demand this, we have both a right and frankly an obligation to remind them that this is a land of freedom.  The false equivalency being narrated by some of that leadership needs to be overcome.

Freedom means a lack of oppression.

While I grant you both the white supremacists and the kneeling football places have the same right to protest, what they represent is utterly and completely different.  Neo-Nazis, the KKK and their ilk want to deny freedom to anyone different from them and their doctrine.  They want a “pure” race of people that, frankly, does not exist.  Worse, some support extreme measures up to and including the mass-execution of those whom they consider different.  After they protest, they remain dangerous.

FreedomThe football players kneeling to protest injustice want to call attention to a growing racial divide in our country.  They want to bring attention to intolerance, and an unfair system what treats them and other minorities as second-class, still.  They want greater understanding and safety from oppression.  No one is disrespecting the flag, as some are trying to claim, they are participating in a free country where we are subservient to nobody.  After they protest, they will do no harm.

One of the greatest aspects of freedom is the right to protest injustice.  That is why anti-fascists countermarch in response to the white supremacists.  If we simply allow injustice to go unchecked, then we do not engage in the freedom many have fought and died for.  Protest for greater tolerance and to create more freedom is an incredible generator of positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that the right to protest is a part of what gives us freedom, we can use this to gain more good for our world.  When we stand up for tolerance, freedom, and the rights of individuals to live the best they can, ultimately we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred ninetieth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

Who Gives You Permission?

You need nobody’s permission to walk your own path in life.

But you will receive an awful lot of advice, and help both useful and not from people.

When you decide to walk your own path, if, like mine, it is in any way unconventional, people will question it.  When enough people question what you have chosen, inevitably YOU will begin to question it, too.

We all have people in our lives who feel they have carte blanche in regards to advising and giving permission for us to live our lives a certain way.  Some are at a completely surreal level, so remote and removed from our lives that, truly, they have only as much power as we give to them.

A perfect example, and I mean this with no offense or disrespect, is God.  It does not matter if you view God from a religious standpoint of Judaism, Christianity, Islam or any other mono-theistic practice – some will argue you need his/her/its permission to do pretty much anything you might choose.  Without God’s blessing, some might argue, you have nothing.  Don’t even get me started on how some religious leaders will use some form of permission from God to oppress, be intolerant, deny science, or whatever meets their personal agenda.

This leads to the next surreal level, still remote and removed, where permission might be passed down or not.  Leaders in government, religion, and business love to tell us what we can and cannot do.  Sometimes they use the law to do this; other times they use tradition or obscure rules.  Many workplaces have specific rules about what we can and cannot wear, some of which is logical while some it just arbitrary and controlling.  For some, to feel empowered, they do all they can to disempower all others.

You don’t need to seek anyone’s permission.

The plain and simple truth is that when you are choosing your own path, you don’t need to seek anyone else’s permission to do so.  This is YOUR life, and nobody but you can live it.

Now we come to the people who are not-so-far removed.  Friends and loved ones.  The people who are directly a part of your life often feel they have every right to opine about your choices.

If what you are choosing is in any way unusual, people may feel the need to remark about it.  Unusual, by the way, is a loaded term.  For some it is about anything we choose that is well outside the norm, such as a career choice requiring some major life changes or a big move or doing something unlike anything you have done before.  For some, it’s as simple as not within their worldview perspective.

Everybody has a different view about how life works, yet we readily ignore this fact.  Since we are constantly inundated in our society with black or white, good or bad, either/or, up or down, Republican or Democrat, and nearly any other extreme you can think of – we find ourselves set in competition against one another.  Realistically, of course, the majority fall somewhere in the middle between any two extremes.

In many ways, because of this, people feel they have a duty to keep us in the expected path.  Society says you go to school, get a degree, get a job.  From there you get married, have kids, send them to school, then retire to a warmer clime.  Deviation from that path is deviant, and suspect, and you have permission to warn people when they stray.

Well-meaning permission changes nothing.

The thing is, because we all make our own choices in life, the only person we have to get permission from is ourselves.

Please keep in mind, I am not advocating for breaking any laws, outright anarchy, or blowing-off loved ones.  What I am saying is that you, and you alone, know what will make you happy in this life.  That being said, it’s entirely up to you to choose what will be best for you.

It can be very useful to get advice and consult with friends and loved ones.  It certainly is helpful when you have people to support you when you strive to take control over your own destiny.

I believe, to some degree, the need for permission comes from our childhood.  As children we have to get permission from our parents to do something different, to borrow the car, to stay out past curfew and such.  This gets so ingrained in us that we still feel an inherent need to seek permission when we take on something new and/or different.

Your path belongs to you, and you alone.  You may feel that you should get somebody’s permission to do whatever it is you are doing, but in truth, you don’t.  The only person who needs to approve of you and your life is you.

We are social creatures.  Even the most introverted still seek validation and comfort from without from time to time.  When our choices go outside of comfort zones, ours or those of others, it can be scary.  It can be pretty daunting, too.  Know that you are not alone, and you don’t need to get approved by anyone else.

Permit yourself to be all you want to be.

Our time on this planet is finite.  I want to experience it as fully as possible.  In order to do that, I am consciously creating my reality by making choices I intend to allow me to manifest a great life.  Even when I am faced with naysayers and well-meaning negativity, I know what I want to manifest.  I give myself permission to pursue my passion and strive to live my dream.

This, in turn, will not have a negative impact on anyone else.  The Universe is abundant, and my achieving goals will not deny anyone else the chance to do so, too.  There is plenty of what we want, since we all want different things.  We do not need approval or permission from anyone outside of ourselves.

Do you feel a need to get permission to walk the paths of your choosing?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Is Change Good or Bad?

Change is a good thing.

Yet this terrifies us.  Change leads to the unknown, and in our fear-based society, the unknown frightens us.

Crossing the Bridges 50I know that to some degree, this is a survival instinct.  When we lived in caves, and had a limited knowledge of anything but the immediate geography, the unknown beyond was almost unimaginable.  What kind of creatures are over that mountain?  Are there monsters in the sea?  Does that village we see smoke from contain cannibals?

Some among our ancient ancestors didn’t leave the immediate area.  But others did, they ventured out, faced the fear, changed the world they knew.  From that shift we evolved from hunter-gatherers to farmers, and change happened.

Our world evolved.  We crossed the sea, we went over the mountain, and we met the people of that village.  We swallowed our fear, we became explorers, and our world grew.

Change is how we got to our modern society.  Do you realize that a hundred years ago the idea of instantaneous global communications would have been totally unbelievable?  Because of changes in our technology, here we are.  The moment I post this it can be read anywhere in the world.

Yet deep down, the majority of us fear change.  And many of those who act as our “leaders” love to do whatever they can to exploit that fear.  They use that to maintain whatever status quo holds their so-called power.

Change happens whether you like it or not.

This is the truth.  Everything changes.  Every single day things move, shift, evolve.  This is inevitable.  It is also unavoidable.

I am at the cusp of some pretty major changes in my life.  Several matters are about to shift, ranging from my employment, to my home, to my physical, emotional and mental health.  Rather than just let these transitions happen, I am working on controlling them, and embracing them.

For example…we will be moving at the end of the fall.  While we are only moving two hours away from where we currently live, it will be the first time in over twenty years I will be relocating to a substantially different locale.  I’ll be less than an hour from a different major city than I have lived near for over two decades.

We have chosen this change.  Why?  Because transmutaion is good.  Change is growth, evolution, and opportunity.  Without these, we face stagnation.  The lack of growth can lead to staleness, like a standing pool of water, and a stagnant life can lead to enormous dissatisfaction.

Even if you are content with how things are, no matter how long they remain constant, they will still change.  A lot of this stuff is beyond our control.  How we react to it, however, is entirely up to each and every one of us.

Further, some change is unwanted.  I am going to get political here, because it is really hard not to.  Look at the effort our President is putting into obliterating everything his predecessor did.  Look at how, rather than fix the issues with the ACA, congress keeps trying to tear it down.  Millions of lives will be effected by some pretty selfish, thoughtless acts, and changes to policy.  A transition will happen, whether we want it to or not.

Accept change, or change it.

We can choose to just let this happen, or we can fight to alter matters for the better.  Marches, rallies, non-violent protests, blog posts and other actions can be implemented to change the negative to something positive.  Elections happen, and we can work on getting rid of the dead weight in congress.  We can inundate all of these so-called leaders with letters, e mails and phone calls reminding them who they work for.  We can choose how coming change will impact us.

This is true of change on every level.  Personal, political, global, even universal.  The thing is, simply resisting is not enough, we need to have a blueprint to change for the better.  We need to not fear the change is happening, but rather embrace change that we want.  We can and should resist the fear, but to move forward we need to strike out courageously towards positive tranformations.

I am looking at a lot of variation ahead of me.  There is some fear, and I need to acknowledge it, then let it go and replace it instead with confidence in myself, and setting out to create change as I want it.  I see the bridges of change before me.  Some are a little scary, you know, those rope bridges over huge chasms that look none-too-stable?  But I want to get to the change at the other side, so crossing the bridges is my only option.

Change is growth.  It is the new. This can be exciting if I choose to make it so.  That’s what lies ahead, and I am embracing change to create the life I most desire to live.

Embrace change, resist it, or cower in fear.  The choice is wholly up to me.  Embracing change is the only way to have any control of it.  What would you prefer to do?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 35:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, but I have not been writing it down.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, two days at the gym.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; editing of Harbinger was completed as well.

Meditation:  Four of seven days last week, but I did not write anything down.

Gratitude:  I did not maintain the physical log, so this was not done.

 

This is the fiftieth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Is Education Empowering?

Ignorance may be bliss, but education is empowerment.

The more we learn, the more we become capable of.  The more abilities we develop, the more skills we hone, the abler we are to change the world for the better.

Positivity 188One of the failings of many of our leaders is their desire to keep us ignorant.  It’s a matter of their retention of control to keep us reliant on them for our understanding of certain matters.  Rather than empower, they prefer to disempower us by slashing education and maintaining the false control that they get.  This applies to business leaders, religious leaders, and certainly government.

We are capable of astounding, amazing things.  We have split the atom, landed on the moon, mastered the internal combustion engine, created global information systems at the tips of our fingers.  Somebody had the imagination and the inspiration to design and create these wonders.  All of us have the ability to do the same.

Education is empowering.

Learning builds up our ability to not only acquire new information, but to better understand the world around us.  We become aware of the infinite possibilities of any number of topics the more we learn.  This is why education is so, so very important.  We can be far greater and far more self-sufficient if we educate ourselves.

Education is EmpoweringLife is all about learning.  The more we learn, the more we grow.  The more we grow, the more we become able to consciously create our realities, and manifest a world that is incredible.  But you have a choice to make, whether or not to follow along with the bouncing narrative, or to research and study for yourself just what reality can be.

Most people choose to believe, because frankly it’s easy, that this is how it is.  The world we live in today, with our fear-based society and ever-growing greed and intolerance, is how it is.  Yet it does not have to be this way.  As we educate ourselves we can create something greater, something better than the reality we are finding ourselves in.  We can empower ourselves, and from there empower one another to make the world a better place, and change the narrative away from fear.

Education is positivity.

The bliss of ignorance does not last.  Ignorance is a bubble that is easily popped, intruded upon, or otherwise intruded upon.  Education is armor.  Yes, learning new things can break away that armor, but then you build new and better armor, and you reinforce your empowerment even better.  I cannot deny that sometimes we will learn things that make us angry, or sad, or otherwise feel negative…but that knowledge empowers us to turn it around, and create in its place positivity.

Knowledge is power.  True power is the empowerment of the self.  When we are empowered, we can build unbelievable amounts of positivity, and better the world around us.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that we can choose to better educate ourselves about the world around us, we can use our education to break the cycle and build positivity in the world.  When we use our knowledge to build up positivity and strive to change our lives for the better, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eighty-eighth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

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