The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: loss (Page 1 of 4)

Life is Energy

Life is energy, and energy is life.

When we lose people dear to us, their energy has not gone…it has been transmuted back to the Universe.

Life is EnergyWe will miss the people we care about when they leave us.  Their energy may be gone from our lives, but it is not truly gone.  Energy can never be created nor destroyed, just transformed into a new form.

As I am sitting at my desk writing this, I am witnessing the sun rising outside my window.  Its light and energy are comforting, but also inspiring.  Like the sun, I am also capable of rising above the horizon and making my way across the sky.

This has been a particularly trying week.  My friends and family and I are all hurting because we have suffered loss.  Two people who held very different places in my heart are gone.  I will never experience their energy in my own life again…but I take comfort in knowing that their energy is not really gone.

When I work to consciously create my reality, I am striving to manifest a life that makes me happy.  To do that, I have to manipulate my own energy, so that I can be attuned to a higher frequency.  The higher the frequency I am tuned in to, that better things I can consciously create for myself.

The losses I have experienced make me sad.  I grieve for those who have passed…but I also am comforted in knowing that their energies are still out there.  When I think of the two amazing men who have passed, I remember that they lived lives that were filled with passion, inspired people around them, and made them both happy.  In their memory, as I work on manifesting my life, I hope to work from their examples.

Life is where we are right here, right now.

In this moment I feel sadness not just for those who are lost, but for all those grieving their losses.  I don’t believe that we can ever be prepared to say goodbye to those we love.  Unfortunately, this life, in these meat-popsicles, is finite.  The energy that is our root will continue always, but it will change form when our time on this planet is over.

Our society has a particular obsession with looking forward and looking backwards.  Seldom do we work in the here-and-now.  I fall prey to that a lot myself, and have been actively working on changing it.

The two men that we have lost were very different, but had one thing in common.  They lived fully every day.  They were, as far as all reports go, happy.  The happiness they expressed in their lives inspired people around them.  Both of them impacted a lot of lives, and both have left holes in the hearts of many.

They may be gone…but their energy is not.  They showed us that life is precious, and from their examples we can choose to live big, do what we can to be good people, and find what makes us happy.

Over the next couple of days both men will be memorialized.  Tears will be shed, and the memories of the impressions they made will flood over us.  But when this process is over we will go on.  In their memories, I am going to work even harder to use their examples and be the best person I can be.

Neither of these men did anything specifically to be an example.  They simply lived, every day, as best they could.

I can live life, or let life live me.

Too often I have let life live me.  It’s pretty easy to do…you just go with the flow, let the patterns of every day carry you.  There are people who find satisfaction in this.  But I desire to have more than just an everyday existence.  I want every day to learn new things, to live with all the passion I can, and to be the best me that I can be.

Consciousness creates reality.  If I am conscious of what I am thinking, feeling, and the actions that I take, I am able to be in control over my life.  Admittedly, this is not always easy.  When I spend too much time caught up in the goings-on across Facebook and other social media, or getting angry at the things I have no control over, I let my subconscious do the driving.

The memory of those I lost, and how they lived, can inspire me to be more aware.  Though I miss them in this moment, and I feel sad at their loss, I know that they both would want me to go on, and live well.  No matter who we lose in this life, I believe that they want us to keep living as fully as possible.

Wakes, funerals and memorials are not for the dead…they are for the living.  This is where and how we say goodbye.  Yes, it is an ending…but the energy of these lost souls is not gone, just transmuted, and spread further across the Universe.  Our loss is the Universe’s gain.  I don’t know if that gives you comfort, but it inspires me to live the best I can.

Energy is life, and life is energy.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.


This is the sixty-ninth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How Does Loss Effect You?

Loss is a part of Pathwalking.

Because life is ever changing, and because we are not static creatures, we will experience losses along our paths.  Some are good for us, some less so.  The hardest loss to take is that of a friend or loved one.

When we lose people, grief is different for every one of us.  In a society where we often look at the “norms”, how we grieve is one of those things that no two people manage the same.

LossSome people go numb.  Others get really angry.  Depression and sadness are typical.  Almost any emotion you can think of may come from loss.  There is no right or wrong way to feel this, even when you might feel nothing.

This week has been a challenge because I have lost two people who held different places in my heart.  The world has dimmed some due to their absence from it.

I know how I handle grief is unique to me.  Overall, I think about the impression people have made on me when they were here.  Yes, I will miss them, but I tend to give most of my energy to remembering the good moments I was fortunate enough to share with those I have lost along the way.

For me, there is a detachment that comes of my grief.  I tend to take a more clinical approach to my losses, and while I am sad that someone is gone from my life, I think because of how I see everything as energy, I don’t think of them as truly lost.

“Luminous beings are we…not this crude matter,” Yoda said.  And I believe that is the truth.  When we leave these earthly vessels, we become a new form of energy.  As such, nobody is truly lost.

Grief over loss, whatever form it takes, can alter our paths.

Often, when we suffer a loss, it will cause a certain amount of reflection.  When it is a permanent loss, such as death, this can shift how we approach our path in life.

Expected or unexpected, losing a loved one can create a pretty major change in how you continue on.  Everybody needs time to adjust to such a change, and when we are understanding of this we can be of the most help in these times.  Some adjust quickly, some not so much.

Whether or not a loss alters the paths you are walking, it is important to keep moving forward.  It is my belief that the people we care about and lose would most want us to keep on in their absence.  They would want us to continue living, growing, and choosing paths for ourselves.

Again, I am not in any way discounting grief.  My point here is that it’s important to still go on, keep living our own lives, and let the memories of those we have lost strengthen us.

It is my belief that everyone we encounter in our lives serves some purpose.  Friends, lovers, acquaintances, coworkers, even random drivers who cut us off on the highway teach us things.  They enter into our lives for a finite period of time, and have some sort of impact on us.

Losing the people we care about also impacts us.  The light that they shared with us is gone.  But I like to remember that the fire has only dimmed, because they will live on in my memory.  Whether this will impact my path or not, I will occasionally turn my eye to that fire, and let the memories warm me.

Loss can provide strength.

In the immediate aftermath of a loss, we feel grief, hurt, anger, numbness, frustration, rage, depression, fear, and/or any combination of these.  We can and will experience almost any conceivable emotion.  When we accept this, and let the feeling flow through us, we can let go of what we do not need and hold onto what we do.

Consciousness creates reality.  Because we have control over only our own individual existences, things can and will happen that will throw us off.  We will find ourselves focused on things that are negative.  These feelings are no less valid, unless we let them dominate and control us.

Nobody’s life is entirely absent of negativity.  In part this is because we need to feel the bad to appreciate the good, and everything in between.  Whatever form grief takes for you, in time it will fade.  It may always leave a pang, because there is a hole in our hearts from these losses.  But we can and will go on.

Sometimes loss will strengthen our resolve.  We want to do better than we are now.  It can cause us to choose to live bigger, love deeper, and take on the world in order to best effect it.  In the memory of those who are gone, we can improve ourselves, and feel more empowered to control our lives.

I will miss the two I lost this week.  But I know that both would encourage me to continue on with my dreams, my goals and aspirations.  I will do everything I can to be the best me I can be, and honor their memories.

How do you handle loss?


This is the three-hundred-sixteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted).  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

Pathwalking 197

Hindsight is not always twenty-twenty.

We often look to the past, look to what has come before, and we think we see it in perfect clarity, now, after all that has occurred.

But in truth, more often than we probably realize, hindsight gets colored by nostalgia, by wistfulness, by a sense that it was oh-so-good and can’t ever be that good again, but it really should be.

The past is past. Period. What was is done, gone, and no more. Yes, we can get nostalgic for “simpler, happier times” as we may think we remember them. But have you ever noticed how remembering those times we ignore the less salient aspects of them?

I have been doing medieval reenactment for more than twenty years. I enjoy getting dressed up in the garb of a long-past era. We celebrate some cool activities and ceremonies and arts and sciences. Sometimes we joke about having been born in the wrong era, even.

What we are ignoring, however, was the vast number of people that lived in poverty, the horrific, untreated diseases that wiped out an unbelievable amount of the population, discrimination and hatred and religious intolerance that led to crusades across two continents, and a truly massive gulf between the rich and the poor.

It’s fun to play in the positive aspects of a bygone era. Lots of different reenactors out there spending weekends being someone from a long-past time.

In our everyday lives, however, we need to let the past stay in the past, and we need to focus on the now. This is how we can choose the paths we want to take, and manifest the life we want to have.

Looking back, we often see a rose colored view of what was. Yes, sometimes hindsight is twenty-twenty in how we learn what we should not have done. Sometimes the lesson learned allows us to see completely clearly how to avoid erring in the same manner in the now, and that aspect of twenty-twenty hindsight serves us well.

It is all too easy to get caught up in looking to the past for the good, inspiring things that have happened in our lives, and wistfully wish for the same in the now, and the future.

This gets slightly more complicated when we recognize that who we are right now, at this very moment, is a product of who we were. Yes, really.

What I was thinking about, how I was perceiving myself last month, last week, yesterday goes into making me the person I am today. What and how I thought of myself consistently over an unspecified amount of past time is what makes me who I am at this exact moment in time.

How does that work? If you manifest your life based on a combination of thought, feeling and intentional actions it only logically goes to follow that the you in existence right this moment was made from material in the past.

That being the case, it makes very little sense to use materials of the past, such as old thoughts and feelings and actions, in present awareness to make the future you. That’s not to say you can’t take lessons from your past to better build the future with present awareness…the caution is to not try to go back to what was.

Because the past needs to remain in the past, it is in our best interest in the here-and-now to create something new for the future. Nostalgia is all well and good, but you can’t live off of it, and you can’t bring it back because it will not be like it was before.

Certain members of our society are obsessed with the notion of remaking our world to be as it was before. They want to go back to a time some fifty or sixty years ago in a world they think was happier, simpler, fuller of faith and family and goodness and wholesomeness. What they are ignoring is the rather massive negative aspects of that era, such as the vast inequality, the fear mongering, xenophobia, racism and other ugly truths.

We can learn from the past, but we cannot return to it. Nor should we. Every day our world changes, most often subtly, but from time to time drastically. Individually, we may each be a product of our past thoughts, feelings and actions, but in the here-and-now we can be conscious of these and choose today who we will be tomorrow.

Now if I am perfectly content with who I am right here and now, then I should probably continue to use these same thoughts and emotions and actions. But if I want something different of my life, then I need to use this moment in the here-and-now to shift what I am thinking, how I am feeling and the actions I am intentionally taking therein.

Why is this always so complicated? Truth is, it’s not. Sometimes it is certainly easier to just let life happen, and to not take control of the things that allow us to choose the life we actually want. Mindfulness and awareness can require some extra focus, but the reward is that if we are discontent with our present circumstances we can work on changing them for tomorrow.

Time is the reef upon which all our frail mystic ships are wrecked.” Noel Coward’s mystic Madame Arcati utters this phrase in the play Blithe Spirit, and it houses one central truth. All of our ideas, all of our plans and goals and intentions will crash upon our personal perceptions of time. When we accept this truth, we have a better ability to understand the importance of present awareness in choosing our paths and manifesting our personal destinies.

Hindsight is not always twenty-twenty. The past is past, and though it goes into making our now, this moment we have the ability to use our awareness to better create ourselves for tomorrow. Pathwalking is choice, and choice empowers us to find what we want for our lives.

Are you aware of yourself in the here-and-now?


This is the one-hundred ninety seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 196

Energy is the root of everything.

Everything you can see, touch and experience begins with energy. That is what we are at our ultimate core; this is what everything in the universe begins with.

Because of this fact, energy can be neither created nor destroyed, it simply changes form. Some forms are visible, some are not. Energy can be transmuted and manipulated to achieve different things at various times, but is always present.

Science explains the universe in this manner. So do most religions and spiritual ideals. The difference between these concepts is language. Beyond that it’s a matter of approach and understanding.

Working with unseen forces to transmute energy into reality, for some, is far-fetched. Magic. New age hooky-spooky mumbo-jumbo. An impossible dream championed by people who are way out there.

In reality, we wield that sort of power for more frequently than we realize. Our thoughts, when we mix them with our feelings and our actions DO create our reality. However, it is far easier to not take direct control of these things and to simply let them happen.

I know that I fall into my own routines. I have patterns I repeat subconsciously, and in letting the patterns carry me along – change, when it does come, comes slowly.

Except there have been times where I have broken my patterns and routines and taken a different path. I have made a choice or choices to directly focus my attention, my intentions, and to work on putting my thoughts, emotions and actions into manifesting something I wanted.

I healed from injuries because my entire focus was on total recovery and healing. I was able to acquire a car when I saw no actual means to the end because I put my entire focus onto it simply happening. I had a relationship with a lover because I put the focus and energy into creating the relationship.

This is one of the key factors of this process. Manifesting what you want from the universe is not about things, it’s usually about feelings. Things won’t bring us happiness and good feelings, it actually works the other way around. Happiness and good feelings will help us bring about the things.

When I was working on healing from injuries I didn’t get depressed or upset or angry about the process. I envisioned nothing but total recovery, complete healing. I felt how good that would make me feel, how happy I would be when everything was returned to normal and I was whole again. No alternative, I would allow for no doubt.

When and if I had moments of doubt, because I am only human and that’s how we are, I didn’t allow the negativity to linger. I accepted it for what it was, I let it happen, but then I let it pass.

Fast forward to my life as it is today. Knowing what I know, experiencing what all I have experienced, I still get caught up in the minutiae of the process. I have forgotten that the things I am trying to manifest are not what will make me happy, I need to find happiness within if I want to manifest these things.

It’s all a complete load. You’re full of it. We all experience this life differently. A lot of people know what they know and only believe in the things they can see and touch and feel. They might accept the premise that energy is the root of all, but they do not believe they can be empowered to move that energy.

All of us have this power. We are all able to change our world, to manifest our lives. Unfortunately, we also live in a world where we are frequently disempowered. We are fed streams of negative energy, we see lack and disaster and horror and pain and suffering far more than we are shown abundance, achievement, love, pleasure and relief. We see complaint more than we see praise. We see blame more than we see taking responsibility.

Everything is energy. We do not need to be unhappy, we do not need to be dismayed by troubling visions. We have the power to change this energy, and to change the negative to the positive.

I am putting a greater focus on the things I want, rather than letting my attention by drawn to the things I don’t want. I am working on remembering that the things I want will not be where I find happiness and joy, but rather happiness and joy will bring me the things I want.

Everything at its core is energy. Everything. We are transmitting and receiving energy all the time. This may seem like it’s rather a daunting concept, but the truth is that we can have far more control of the kind of energy we give and receive, and ultimately empowerment. We can improve our lots in life, we can be how we choose to be.

While everything began from some sort of null space, none of this can be formed in the vacuum. An incredible number of scientific and spiritual factors drew all the energy together that formed each and every one of us, and all the things we are aware of. We have cumulative experiences and the capacity for growth and learning that can be used to choose how we give and receive the energies of the world around us. We are not merely the play things of the energy that makes everything up, we can control it. We are so empowered.

Science and religion and spiritual practices all express this concept, just with different languages and approaches. No matter what you do or do not ascribe to, you are empowered to manifest your own destiny. Be aware of what you are thinking, what you are feeling and what actions you are taking from there, because you can take control and choose your own path to walk.

Energy is the root of everything. Do you know how much more power we have than we choose to wield for our own betterment?


This is the one-hundred ninety sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 195

What am I afraid of?

How come I constantly find myself uncertain, unsure and lost? Why can’t I break out of this pattern?

I know how this goes, and yet I still find that I cannot get out of my own way. I am afraid I will disappoint. I am afraid of disapproval. I am afraid of letting people down. I am afraid to succeed. I am afraid to fail.

Fear is the loudest message being broadcast to us. Every single day we are inundated with messages about the things we need to be afraid of.

Fear foreigners. Fear the rich. Fear the poor. Fear disease. Fear the unknown. Fear the known. Fear that guy. Fear this guy. Be afraid, because when you are afraid we can control you.

I have mentioned many times that I suffer from very abstract fears. I am not afraid of tangible things, I am fearful of intangibles. Fear leads me to anger, and now my mind is in darkness and I dig myself deeper and deeper into a pit of despair that is VERY hard to escape from.

I have been practicing Pathwalking for nearly four years now. In the process I have experienced some of the greatest highs I could imagine. My life has been colorful, it has been interesting, and it has really, honestly been good. I have experienced largely positive changes in my world, and I am so immensely grateful for that fact that I can barely conjure the proper words to express it.

Yet underneath it all there has been a current of disassociation. I question whether I really know what I am doing, or if I am a fake. Do I have any actual knowledge and experience, or am I just making this up as I go along? When everyone else figures out I am full of it and I haven’t the foggiest idea about what I am talking about, will they just abandon me or will they seek to destroy me in the process?

Have I actually learned anything, or am I just spinning my wheels? I need to really get ahold of my emotional state, and I need to stop letting that sense of dread, that feeling of inadequacy rule my emotions. I have done this before, I have manifested many things in my life. This needs to have the same importance, and be given the same attention so that I can create it too.

There are two questions that are utterly fundamental to my life whether I am walking my own path or not. Who am I? What do I want?

Who am I? We are not just these meat suits running around, working jobs, connecting with other meat suits and directly experiencing this world. We go way beyond that, we are at our core energy. EVERYTHING is energy, which is why all are one.

Each of us has carved out a little niche of energy we call ourselves. That is not just the body we walk around in, it is the heart, the soul, the mind, the emotions, the thoughts, the actions that make us into who we are. We label things, body parts internal and external, and we give ourselves names. We identify ourselves with our names, but this is just the surface.

Getting to know myself, deep down, at the core of my being is an interesting challenge. Why? Because no one but me can see me at that level. I alone know who I am beneath the surface. Past the name, past the outside actions no one but me knows me.

I know who I am at this moment. But who I am, who you are is in a constant state of flux. The very core of our beings does not change, yet we are always changing because life is not static. This is probably why I can get ahold of myself for a while…but then manage to slip again.

What do I want? There are several things I want, and I know what they are. Part of the problem is that I am either too specific about what I want, or not specific enough. I either have sort of a vague idea of what I want the thing to be, or I have a far-too-detailed and involved knowledge of what I want.

I am constantly finding myself focusing on the how. How is this going to happen? How can I possibly get from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’? How will that work? How does the machine operate? When it comes to manifesting your life, working out the how just causes you to go nowhere. Why? Because the workings of the Universe are mysterious and complex.

There is no fairy godmother granting wishes. The Universe may contain a lot of vacuum, but it doesn’t just bring things out of nothing, per se. You have to have thought, followed up with intent, then emotional energy and intentional actions. But a detailed, step-by-step guide is not a part of that, because it shows a lack of faith and trust and belief.

Blind faith is just that – blind. You cannot go through life praying away things or praying for things and hoping through blind faith you will create something amazing. You have to put energy into it, and you have to act on intent. This is where people who do not know what they want sometimes err the most. They don’t know what they want, so they instead focus on what they don’t want. Because thought, intent, emotion and action manifest reality, guess what you wind up creating?

Knowing what you do not want is as important as knowing what you DO want. The key is to know it, and release it. Focusing on what you don’t want will bring it about.

This is one of my biggest issues with my own path. Faced with something I don’t want, I sometimes find it hard NOT to focus on it. I know I need to put my intention, my attention elsewhere. Knowing and acting, however, sometimes miss one another.

I know who I am. I know what I want. I need to apply the techniques I know to release my fears, and I need to hold my head up and be certain that I have chosen paths to walk that are the right ones for me.

Do you know who you are and what you want?


This is the one-hundred ninety fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 194

How do your beliefs effect the paths you are walking?

Short answer – considerably. Long answer – what do you believe?

First and foremost, this has NOTHING to do with religious, faith or spiritual beliefs. This is all about the specific beliefs we hold when it comes to ourselves, our lives, and our understanding of how the Universe works.

What we believe is often tied into what we think we do and don’t know, and how we are feeling. Unfortunately, we often do not take a close look at our core beliefs, and as such we may not fully know what exactly they are.

Getting straight to the point, what this means is that we may hold beliefs that are contrary to what we are working to achieve, and may in fact be counter to what we need to walk the paths we might choose.

Let me be more specific about what I mean here. The beliefs I am talking about are personal. This isn’t I believe in god or I believe the world is round. This is I believe I am capable or I believe I cannot do this or I am fat or I am thin or I have abundance or I am lacking.

What we believe is often deeply buried in our subconscious. Because of this, we experience a disconnect that can present an obstacle along our given paths. We are striving for one thing, yet because deep down we do not believe we can have that thing we have placed a barrier in our way.

Let me use a personal example. I want to get into better shape, lose some weight. Now to do that, I need to watch my diet, I need to get more exercise, I need to be aware of my sugar and caloric intake and all kinds of other matters along that line.

However, taking that into consideration, I also need to know what I believe. Do I think I am fat? Do I think I am capable of getting into better shape? Do I think I am able? Do I think I am getting older and more damaged or staying young and improving?

What I believe is as important as what I do. As I often point out, manifestation comes from thought, emotion and inspired action. Sure, I can pay close attention to my diet and exercise, I can make a conscious effort to be more aware of and attentive to them. But if I am holding onto the belief that I am fat and I cannot get into shape and I am going to have to struggle…it should come as no surprise that I am not getting the results I want.

This is new-age hippy-crunchy mumbo jumbo. No, the problem is that it’s really not. If consciousness creates reality, then what I believe is going to have a pretty big impact on the reality I am creating.

What is belief? Belief is deeper than thought, because it is a subconscious understanding of the universe. This is the core of how I think the world works. Some of what I believe, for example. I believe that consciousness creates reality, and I believe that I can manifest the life I would choose to have. I believe that Pathwalking allows me to control my destiny, and to choose for myself what I want my life to be.

But these beliefs are surface beliefs. These are the things I am putting conscious work into. What lies beneath? What beliefs are at my core? This can be a scary question, because this often digs into places I long ago abandoned. I am working on changing what I believe on the surface…but what do I believe to my core?

This is a question that, like How am I feeling? goes unasked. I have built my beliefs over my lifetime, and while there are always new beliefs that get learned, the old beliefs long created and ignored are still there, sometimes contrary to the new.

What can you do about that? I am working on this now. The device I am employing is to really consider what I believe, and to give it voice. This is surprisingly simple. Working with this today, two beliefs very contradictory to my current actions surfaced for me – I am fat. I never have enough money.

I used meditation to really dive into the depths of my soul, and used a method learned from Boni Lonnsburry’s The Map: To Our Responsive Universe, Where Dreams Really Do Come True. Without giving away her work, to summarize: I visualized written papers with these beliefs, saw them being destroyed and replaced with new papers containing positive new beliefs. I am thin. I always have more than enough money.

Once again I have to stress that thinking things like this are insufficient for conscious reality creation. But thoughts are a big step in the process, and beliefs are deeply rooted thoughts. If we believe contradictions to what we want to create, we make creation far more difficult than it should be.

When we identify the deep, often ignored beliefs we have established, they can come back to haunt us when we are working on new beliefs that are contrary to them. Thus we need to take the time to learn what, deep down, we believe, so that if it is against what we are trying to make manifest we can do something with and about it.

I have been amazed by what I have found as I look into my own beliefs. As much as I have been working on Pathwalking and getting control over my destiny, I am intrigued by how many deep beliefs I possess that are standing against how I want my life to be. This is why being awake and aware and in the moment is so important. You miss quite a lot when you let things just happen, and you forget where you put what you believe. It is almost akin to losing your keys in your own house and forgetting where they are.

How do you think your core beliefs effect the paths you are walking?


This is the one-hundred ninety fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 193

Why have you chosen the path you are on?

Whether or not you are consciously Pathwalking, why have you chosen whatever path you are on?

This is a surprisingly important question that all-too-often gets waylaid. We know there are paths we want to walk in life, but why do we want to walk them?

Pathwalking is about choosing your own destiny. It is about taking control over your life and finding what makes you happy. Because, when all is said and done, finding happiness and joy is really what most people are after in this life.

So the question of why this path is important. Did you choose this path because you thought it would make you happy? Or did you choose this path because of someone else, or some outside influence?

Yes, I recognize that there are necessities in life. We need to work jobs to make money so that we can have places to live and food to eat and all that important stuff. What I am constantly surprised by is how readily we accept mediocrity, how we do not resist control exerted by forces way, way outside of our general scope.

What does that mean? As I skim through Facebook and Twitter, I am constantly reading negative posts all about government injustice, religious intolerance, hatred, bigotry, inequality and many other terrible things. In the United States we have an important election coming up in fourteen months or so, and it is already being hijacked by levels of partisanship and outright insanity that can nearly cause physical pain.

Yes, all of these things ARE important. We need to know when we are being swindled, when there is injustice and the people we should be cautious of. However, these are, when you get down to it, distractions from our paths.

When you focus on these big picture events, when you get upset about these national and global problems, you give away your empowerment. You cede your thoughts and emotions over to faceless, nameless powers that will do nothing, when all is said and done, to better your life and help you to choose a path.

What has this got to do with the why of the path you choose? Are you aware of the path you are on, or are you focused on these other, seemingly bigger things? I think most of us let ourselves be distracted by these larger-than-life matters, and as such ignore our own paths, our own lives and the choices that matter.

Utter selfishness. No, actually, it’s not. Who knows me better than I do? Who knows you better than you? We alone know ourselves, and as such we alone know that we want to choose paths for ourselves, and more importantly WHY we want to choose the paths we are on.

We all need to step back, and stop letting these immense insanities dominate our processes. We need to tighten our focus on finding our own, individual joy and happiness, because when all is said and done that is the only thing we truly can take control over.

You can write letters to the people “in charge”, you can choose to vote for certain politicians in the election, and you should at least have awareness of what all is going in out there. But focusing so much energy on these matters that we have next to no control over does nothing but distract us from Pathwalking.

So – why have you chosen the path you are on? Will this path make you happy? Because the most important thing we can do is to find ways to discover and experience joy. Yes, we need to “earn a living” and to “contribute to society” and other such matters, but we cannot ignore ourselves. It is not selfish to desire to be happy, to look for joy in life.

Why isn’t it selfish? Because when we are happier and more joyful, we can more easily make those around us more happy and joyful. When we are more able to find contentment and satisfaction over discontent and dissatisfaction, we empower ourselves. When we are more empowered, people will take notice, and we can then help them to empower themselves.

When we focus on these larger-than-life situations out there, we are just distracting ourselves and those who are reading along with us from walking our paths, and from discovering what we truly want to have in life.

I cannot deny that it is a challenge to walk the line between being informed and being deluged in information. When you find that you are researching situations you can do nothing about instead of working on your own paths, you will find that you are inattentive to your own emotional and probably spiritual needs.

So I should just ignore all that stuff and it will go away? No, but unless you can take some form of action, why focus on these things? Know about them, but like negative emotions you can choose whether or not to let them linger. Do what you can if you feel the need. Write a letter, fire off an angry e mail to those politicians, and vote for better leaders when the election comes. Otherwise, does putting focus on these things help you walk your path?

When you have clarity, and you know why you are choosing the paths you choose, you will find that uncovering happiness and joy and satisfaction in life is easier. It is also more fulfilling, and more empowering. I don’t know anyone who does not want to feel accomplished and in control of their life and their choices, so knowing why you want what you want is as important as walking the path to get to the end goal.

Do you know why you have chosen the path you are on?


This is the one-hundred ninety third entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 192

Today is my birthday. My birthday is my personal New Year’s Day.

So what? What does that have to do with Pathwalking? If this is the start of a new year, then it is the perfect opportunity to set new actions to take.

I have written before that I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions, but rather New Year’s actions. Resolving is a passive concept, while taking action is direct. It is through one of my first new year’s actions that this blog came into being.

So why this year treat my birthday as a new year? I am in the middle of some pretty heavy life transitions at the moment. Nothing bad, just a lot of change, and I have control over what that will be and what it will mean. As such, I am putting extra effort into manifesting the things I want from this life.

There are goals I want to achieve along this path, and I have to overcome the obstacles placed in my path by myself. Yes, I am my own greatest obstacle, but being aware of that gets me more than halfway towards overcoming these.

As this new year begins for me, I am taking stock of what this previous year wrought. What things do I have from this past year to be grateful for?

The past year has been amazing. I have had multiple incredible experiences for which I am nothing but grateful. I had some excellent once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and many firsts not to be ignored. As my own personal years go, this has been one of the best.

Time is relative. How we measure time is personal, whether cyclical, linear or some combination therein. While we all acknowledge minutes, hours, days, weeks, years and the like, we still have different understandings of the mechanics of time. Some experiences feel as though they occur quicker than others and the like.

I want to celebrate the year that was and express all my gratitude for the people, the things and the experiences I enjoyed this past year. It has been utterly amazing, and I hope that it is the sign of things to come!

Now it’s time to review the path I am on, the goals I want to attain and manifesting over the next year the life I most want to live.

With the transition I am experiencing at the moment, I have been hard pressed to keep my focus. Matters are very unpredictable, and I do not always cope as well as I should with such. What’s more, I have to work even harder to keep positive against my uncertainty.

I know life is all about change. I am all for change. Sometimes change can be really scary.

So – what are the actions I will take with this new year? There are three I am going to set out there. Yes, by putting this here I am working to remind myself that these must be done.

Mind my intentions daily. If does not take a ton of effort to go over the intentions I have set. This also helps me to renew and change them as some are reached and others need to be altered.

  • 1. Mind my intentions daily. If does not take a ton of effort to go over the intentions I have set. This also helps me to renew and change them as some are reached and others need to be altered.
  • 2. Daily gratitude. I often try to do this, but somehow it gets neglected. Every day, 3-5 items for which I am grateful; I cannot just write these out, I need to feel them, too.
  • 3. Be kinder to myself. I need to stop judging myself as harshly as I do. I am my own worst critic, and I need at least daily to remind myself that I should treat myself better. When I am feeling out-of-sorts more often than not this is because of how I am looking at myself.

Ok, so what? What does this have to do with MY path? If I can do this, anyone can do this. We are not alone in choosing to find and walk paths, and yet it’s amazingly easy to forget this. So many outside influences, so many perceived failures and missteps and false starts. You do not need to select the start of the calendar new year or your birthday new year – you can use the new month, the new week, even the new day to start fresh and review where you have come and where you wish to go.

The point of this is that we write our own paths in life. We are the makers of our own destinies, and we alone can manifest our own dreams. How this works is not the same for everyone, what works for me may not work for you or anyone else, and vice versa. But I know, because I have witnessed it, that this does work.

Since I began Pathwalking almost four years ago, my life has been enriched. I have enjoyed more control over my destiny, and I have felt happier overall. My life has changed quite a bit since then, and upon analysis I have to say that those changes have been for the better.

This is not an ending, this is a beginning. I am taking this lifetime milestone to look ahead to what more I want to create, and to put out the effort to make even greater and better things for myself. I also want to express my gratitude for all that I have manifested, because with gratitude you can make even more along the way.

Milestones and holidays should not be the only days we celebrate. Everyday can be amazing, if we create it to be. Yes, this might sound hokey or otherwise ludicrous, but that does not make it any less true. We choose more than we believe that we do, and we can make more choices for ourselves along the way.

Last but not least, a shameless self promotion. In celebration of my birthday, today and tomorrow my fantasy novel – Seeker (The Source Chronicles Book I) is free for the Kindle. I am very proud of this work, and want to promote it (Book II should be coming out in November).

Thank you for your continued support!

What do you do to celebrate your birthday?


This is the one-hundred ninety second entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 191

Do you have a tendency to second-guess yourself?

I do. It has often been, as far as I can tell, one of the main causes of my indecisive moments. I make a decision, sure…but then I second guess it.

Pathwalking is about choosing a path and making your own way. I have the idea, I have the notion I know what I want to do with the given path. But…but what if I have it all wrong?

It was recently pointed out to me that I do this subconsciously. As we were travelling somewhere this past weekend, Google Maps suggested a route I was wary of. I took it, but kept wondering if I should have chosen a different option, as there were three available.

I didn’t simply let it go, I questioned it for some time. How much longer will this take if I chose wrong? How bad will these roads be? What if we were better off going one of the other ways? I somehow let that really drill into my brain.

Why did I second guess? What difference might the other routes have made? As was pointed out to me, even if I chose a bad route, we would still get to our destination. Sure, it may be slightly longer or slightly shorter, but we were on the road and the destination would be reached.

This opened up some thought processes that I had not really given proper attention to. How many times have I been on the path but wondered if I should have chosen another? How often along the path I am walking do I wonder if an alternate path to the same goal may have been better?   What’s more – how often does my questioning cause me to neglect the path I have chosen as I fret about missed paths and the goal at the end?

This is one of the places where I stumble the most in my life. I do not live as thoroughly in the now as I should, and as such I may be on a given path – but am I just going along with it while letting my mind drift to think about the goal or to think about the other path options I could have chosen? Or am I neglecting this path by considering other goals I should have striven for or…or…or…can you see how this can spiral out of control?

I start with a path, I make my choice…and then question what I have chosen. I do this far too often, and it was a simple question about an unrelated matter that made me analyze this. Why do I so frequently second guess myself?

Part of this is confidence. Am I confident in the choices I have made? I would like to be able to say yes, but the truth of the matter is, no, I am not confident about my choice. Even when I am working on a path I am certain is the path I SHOULD be working on, I still do not feel confident. I often find myself frustrated because I have a hard time just deciding and going with it.

Where does this come from? I can’t entirely be sure. I don’t know that there is some deep-seated matter of something in my past that serves to explain this problem. This may however be related to one of the Four Agreements I often get tripped up on:

Don’t take things personally. I know that I have a tendency to worry about how my choices and my actions might effect those around me. I might cause them hurt, or I might cause them disappointment. I might fail to live up to their expectations of who and what I am.

That’s a problem. I do not need to live up to anyone’s expectations but my own. I alone know who I am and what path I should care to walk. It is for me alone to figure out what that means and where that might take me. Those outside influences cannot know what is best for me because what they know of me is limited by their interactions and experiences with me.

I have long struggled with this particular issue. This stems from not just fears of success and failure, but fear of abandonment. What if I succeed? What if I fail? Will the people I care about abandon me over my foolishness?

This is the thing I most need to learn to let go of. I am walking my own path, and rather than be worried what negative effects this might produce, I should instead be focusing on the positive. I am choosing my own destiny, not allowing another to do that for me. I am taking control of my own life instead of allowing someone else that power. I can have more freedom to be the most genuine me I can be, and rather than be concerned about how this could go badly, I should be focused on how this WILL go well.

I alone know what I want to make of my life, and I am being judged by no one who matters other than myself. I need to not be so judgmental of myself, because I would not want to be so harshly judgmental of others in the same way. That matters. Why do I treat myself as lesser than I might treat others?

I need to be more aware of my choices, and stop second guessing them. I know that I am on the right paths, and I know that my choices might be imperfect, but they are never permanent and always fluid. I can make of this life whatever I wish, and I need to be more decisive and less uncertain and walk my paths.

How do I stop second guessing myself? I need to make and stick with my choices more decisively. I need to be aware of my mindset AFTER the choice, and not rehash it over and over. I need to remember who I am, what I want, and that I can manifest the life I would choose with thought, emotion and intentional actions. Second guessing is of no good to choosing and walking my path, and I need to remain keenly aware of that.

I need to add a step to my Pathwalking. Thought. Feeling. Intentional actions. DECISIVENESS. No more second guessing – if I choose poorly, I just have to choose anew down the line.

What would you do if you found yourself second-guessing your plans?


This is the one-hundred ninety first entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 190

More than once I have reiterated that no one but you can choose your own path.

For some people this is really easy. They just KNOW without any doubts who they are and what they want to be. They answer whatever calling they receive – whether it’s to be a doctor, a member of clergy, a pro athlete, an artist, a teacher and so on.

For some, they go where they are pointed. Someone at some point told them that they should do ‘x’ or that opportunity ‘y’ was what they should choose. Though it was not exactly their heart’s desire, they went with it.

For some we just have doubts and uncertainty about which of our skills we should pursue. We may have different skills that present different callings, so we have a harder time choosing.

In college I found multiple avenues I wished to explore. I got really heavily into radio, I was majoring in theatre with a focus on directing, I was writing. When the four year ride was over, I looked at what I could do, and realized that I was filled with uncertainty about what I should choose.

This is something I have talked about before. I floundered for years because while on the one hand there were aspects of stability in my life, on the other I could not hold still if I tried. I chose for many years not to make any real choices, so I moved from home to home and job to job and relationship to relationship, finding occasional satisfaction but never truly settling.

True fact – I have never lived in one place for more than 10 years. A specific area, sure, but actual place I called home? Nope. I suppose having this even in my childhood made the notion of truly setting down roots sort of alien to me. But I digress.

This has been an amazing year for me thus far. I have received accolades, gotten married, published a couple books, finished another novel, continued Positivity and Pathwalking weekly. On numerous levels this year has been spectacular.

I have chosen this month to take a leap of faith, and focus on walking my own path. This is scary because my path is full of uncertainty, and I have been struggling with what this means to me.

I am, on the one hand, completely certain that I am supposed to be doing this. All of the signs and portents point this way, so I feel that I am on the right track, heading in the right direction, and doing what I should be.

On the other hand, though, my inner skeptic screams at me with doubts. You’re out of your mind if you think this will work. You can’t earn any money this way. You are not worthy of this. You are a failure and will never be able to do this. Do you really think you deserve to succeed here? All these negatives stand in my way, and have done so before.

There are paths others are pointing me towards. One I am certain I do not wish to take, despite the skills that I have in that direction. I know that I am able to do just about anything that I want to do, it’s just a matter of doing it.

Too long I have allowed my own doubts and indecisiveness dictate my life. I need to spend time with my inner skeptic, my negative self, let him say his peace – and then let him go. I don’t need to hold onto this part of myself, because it does not serve me.

How do you intend to do that? I need to meditate. I need to stop letting doubt and fear lead me to depression, and I need to take charge of how I am feeling and what distractions I allow to get in my way. I am the only one inside my own head, I am the only one who truly knows my mind, so this is on me.

I do not have to completely go this alone of course. I have my friends and family, and I have you. I know that sometimes this ride gets crazy, and my words get jumbled, but I share my experiences with Pathwalking because I have no doubt that you also go through these same issues.

Last week I talked about depression and how all-consuming coping with that can be. But it can be coped with, and we can find our way out when it hits us. We just have to acknowledge that there are issues in need of resolution.

I know how to make this work. I know how to manifest my desires into reality. Clarity of thought. Purity of emotion. Intentional action. I have to release my inner demons, I need to disperse my doubts and keep on track. I have to move past planning and act on what I know I want.

I need to take what I want out of the future and place it firmly in the now. I need to stop waiting for it to happen and see it as complete. That is the step I find hardest when I am in the space between, and I know full well what it is and what I need to do with it.

Is there a point to your ramblings here this week? Yes. The path before me is for me alone. Yes I share aspects of it with others in different ways, but it is still mine. Only I can choose it, despite the wants and desires of others. I know who I am, I know what it is I want, I just need to do the work and make it happen. I alone have the power here, so it is up to me to empower myself and walk this path.

This is my path. I have chosen it, and I am certain it is the right choice. I know what action is required on my part to go with the thoughts and emotions to truly live the life I want.

Thanks for following along in my ramblings this week.

Are you walking the path you wish to be on?


This is the one-hundred ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

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