The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: living

Life is Energy

Life is energy, and energy is life.

When we lose people dear to us, their energy has not gone…it has been transmuted back to the Universe.

Life is EnergyWe will miss the people we care about when they leave us.  Their energy may be gone from our lives, but it is not truly gone.  Energy can never be created nor destroyed, just transformed into a new form.

As I am sitting at my desk writing this, I am witnessing the sun rising outside my window.  Its light and energy are comforting, but also inspiring.  Like the sun, I am also capable of rising above the horizon and making my way across the sky.

This has been a particularly trying week.  My friends and family and I are all hurting because we have suffered loss.  Two people who held very different places in my heart are gone.  I will never experience their energy in my own life again…but I take comfort in knowing that their energy is not really gone.

When I work to consciously create my reality, I am striving to manifest a life that makes me happy.  To do that, I have to manipulate my own energy, so that I can be attuned to a higher frequency.  The higher the frequency I am tuned in to, that better things I can consciously create for myself.

The losses I have experienced make me sad.  I grieve for those who have passed…but I also am comforted in knowing that their energies are still out there.  When I think of the two amazing men who have passed, I remember that they lived lives that were filled with passion, inspired people around them, and made them both happy.  In their memory, as I work on manifesting my life, I hope to work from their examples.

Life is where we are right here, right now.

In this moment I feel sadness not just for those who are lost, but for all those grieving their losses.  I don’t believe that we can ever be prepared to say goodbye to those we love.  Unfortunately, this life, in these meat-popsicles, is finite.  The energy that is our root will continue always, but it will change form when our time on this planet is over.

Our society has a particular obsession with looking forward and looking backwards.  Seldom do we work in the here-and-now.  I fall prey to that a lot myself, and have been actively working on changing it.

The two men that we have lost were very different, but had one thing in common.  They lived fully every day.  They were, as far as all reports go, happy.  The happiness they expressed in their lives inspired people around them.  Both of them impacted a lot of lives, and both have left holes in the hearts of many.

They may be gone…but their energy is not.  They showed us that life is precious, and from their examples we can choose to live big, do what we can to be good people, and find what makes us happy.

Over the next couple of days both men will be memorialized.  Tears will be shed, and the memories of the impressions they made will flood over us.  But when this process is over we will go on.  In their memories, I am going to work even harder to use their examples and be the best person I can be.

Neither of these men did anything specifically to be an example.  They simply lived, every day, as best they could.

I can live life, or let life live me.

Too often I have let life live me.  It’s pretty easy to do…you just go with the flow, let the patterns of every day carry you.  There are people who find satisfaction in this.  But I desire to have more than just an everyday existence.  I want every day to learn new things, to live with all the passion I can, and to be the best me that I can be.

Consciousness creates reality.  If I am conscious of what I am thinking, feeling, and the actions that I take, I am able to be in control over my life.  Admittedly, this is not always easy.  When I spend too much time caught up in the goings-on across Facebook and other social media, or getting angry at the things I have no control over, I let my subconscious do the driving.

The memory of those I lost, and how they lived, can inspire me to be more aware.  Though I miss them in this moment, and I feel sad at their loss, I know that they both would want me to go on, and live well.  No matter who we lose in this life, I believe that they want us to keep living as fully as possible.

Wakes, funerals and memorials are not for the dead…they are for the living.  This is where and how we say goodbye.  Yes, it is an ending…but the energy of these lost souls is not gone, just transmuted, and spread further across the Universe.  Our loss is the Universe’s gain.  I don’t know if that gives you comfort, but it inspires me to live the best I can.

Energy is life, and life is energy.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

This is the sixty-ninth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Do I Want To Give The World?

I want to give back to the world.

One of my greatest desires is to give something of value to the world.  Whether it’s entertainment in the fiction that I write, insight from this blog, lessons in medieval rapier combat, or a pun to make someone crack a smile, I want to be a giver.

GiveOne of the risks of this, though, is focusing more on giving than receiving anything in return.  When in the course of day-to-day life one needs to earn a living, this can present a particular challenge.

I am working on reconciling this idea.  How?  By seeing and acknowledging the difference between being a giver and taker.

This has been covered both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, but to reiterate, giver’s give from a place of abundance, with no real expectation of anything in return.  Takers may give from time to time, but it is with a demand for something in return.

That something can take a bunch of different forms.  Money, favors, praise, etc.  A giver does what they do to assist, help, and often empower.  A taker does what they do to curry favor, gain for themselves, and usually in order to disempower.

Yes, I want to get paid to be a writer.  My books are not available on Amazon for free.  This in part because this is how I want to cross the bridges between writing for fun and writing for a living.  Writing for a living is still fun for me, but I’d like to earn money doing it.

I have studied some ways with which I could monetize this blog.  Yeah, I would really like to make some money writing these posts.  But it is more important to me to maintain my principles and be a giver.

To give is not to sacrifice.

I think this is one of the issues I have to work with.  I’m aware of a lot of artist types like myself that hold onto several beliefs about money and integrity.

That’s one issue.  The other is how often we are told that you can’t make money as a writer/painter/sculptor/actor and so forth.  Only the very lucky few, such as Steven King, Salvador Dali, Leonardo DaVinci or Will Smith make it big.  Everyone else is struggling.

Earning an income can be difficult in the best of times.  Job security is pretty laughable in this day-and-age.  Even people in industries known to make good money find challenges.  Taking that into account, trying to cross the bridges between where I am now and where I want to be, it comes as no surprise that I feel rather conflicted.

I want to give, but not sacrifice in the process.  This is why there are certain types of writing I only do for money.  There was a small magazine I wrote three or four articles for, to put my name out there.  Free press.  But after one of my articles was the cover story, I said, “Hey, I am a writer.  I don’t normally just give this stuff away, so please pay me.”  Suffice it to say, they didn’t want any more articles for me.

Did I sacrifice something?  Truth is, no.  Continuing to write without pay would have made me angry.  Sure, I would have gotten my name out a few more times as a published writer, but I would have sacrificed my time and my energy, and gotten nothing in return.

Does that make me a taker?  No.  Why?  Because this is not a matter of selfishness, it is a matter of self-care.

Selfish versus selfless is the difference between take and give.

Do you expect a plumber to come into your home, fix a leak, install a toilet, and not get paid?  Would you expect a doctor to perform a surgery on you free of charge?  Of course not.  So how come people expect artistic types to give away our work for free?

Yes, I want to give value to the world.  Yes, I want to get paid to do this thing I love.  How do I reconcile being a giver versus being a taker?  To a large degree, it all comes down to intent.

To receive fair value for services rendered is how our society works.  The problem comes in when we get confused between levels of value, fair versus unfair, and greed.  Presently, a great deal of what we see in regards to the wealthy is a staggering level of greed.  The unfortunate, unintended trickle-down from this is a blurring if the lines.

As such, wanting to receive fair value for my writing while still giving something back is not a selfish act.  It doesn’t mean I am ending my blog, nor am I about to start charging you to read it.  But in the process of consciously creating reality, I want to manifest a career as a professional writer.  This is my ultimate goal.

The why of my goal, however, is because I want to give something more to the world.  Whether I take you away to a fantasy world, make you laugh, or help you manifest a better life with conscious reality creation, it all is about my greatest desire to give.

Give from a place of abundance.  Do so with joy and passion.  Give because it feels incredible.  That is my intent in manifesting the life I most desire to live.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

This is the sixty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Happens When the “Other Shoe” Drops?

When the other shoe drops, do you pick it up?

I have been anticipating this situation for several months now.  I had hoped to depart on my own terms, but I suspected this was coming.  So it was not much of a surprise.

The job I have held for the past year, and been duly grateful for, has come to an end.  Now my eight hours a day in a place where I was all-too-often bored, and frequently unhappy, is no more.

I am not upset nor angry about this.  Rather, I am seeing it as an opportunity to move my life forward.  Consciousness creates reality, and I know what it is I want to create.  There are bridges I want to cross, and cross them I will.

Since I was let go from the job, I have made excellent use of my time.  A while back I created a schedule I called A Day in the Life – The Life I Most Desire.  In that schedule I laid out my work day (starting at 8:30am), giving myself time for writing and editing, exercise, reading, lunch.  I even gave myself time to goof off in the morning, play games, put my brain in gear at my own pace.

How will this make me money?  That is not what I am currently focused on.  I am concerned with living life in the manner I have long desired, and from this action find everything I need to live as fully as I can.

Can I sustain this?  That remains to be seen.  I am striving to find a way, because this is how I want my life to be.

Can I make money doing what I love?

This is the elephant in the room, the question that most needs to be answered.  Can I work this all out so that I will make money doing this?  How can I make this happen?  Is there a way I can get this blog to make money; more books to sell; other options that involve writing for money?

The first step in manifestation is believing.  Faith, which I mentioned before, is important to conscious reality creation.  Most of all, faith in myself as a creator, and from there faith in the Universe.  Faith in my belief in conscious reality creation and manifestation.

I know that this works, as I have made it work before.  I need to apply it to now, to my life as it currently is, and to become whom I want to be.  To do that I have to think it, feel it, take actions like following this schedule I created to make it so.

The Secret approaches conscious reality creation with different words – Ask, Believe and Receive.  Action for the thought – ask; for the feeling, believe; for the intentional action, receive.  In thinking about this life I want to live, I am asking of myself to become a professional, full-time writer.  When it comes to feeling, I am believing that I have made this manifest.  Lastly, my actions are a reflection of my receiving what I have asked for.

Where do I go from here?

Now that I am not spending most of my waking hours in a place where I was unhappy, I am better able to feel positive, to feel how it feels to succeed at what I want.  Yes, I could dwell on the loss of my salary and changes to my benefits, but in what way will that be healthy?  I instead am making a choice to take this situation and make the very best of it that I can.

Life is too short to spend so much of it unhappy.  How come we accept so readily that this is what work is meant to be?  I know that I need to make money to pay for the things I want and need in life, but do I have to miserable making it?  Why do we so easily accept that at face value?

I think somewhere along the way we, as a society, have lost sight of what we work for.  We are not on this planet for the limited time we get to be here just to go through the motions, we are here to live.  We are here to experience life, good and bad, up and down, in all its amazing glory.  Spending eight or more hours every day in a place that leaves us exhausted, unhappy and stressed does not make any sense.

Yet we all know that we have to earn money, and to earn money we have to work.  The goal is often to earn as much money as possible, and that being the case we will take the jobs that pay the most and offer the best benefits, even when they do not make us happy.  That’s the standard way we do it.

I am not a standard person.

I have never been “normal”, whatever that means.  My life has regularly involved partaking of a different path, a unique way of being – sometimes by choice, but in my youth more often by circumstance.  For example, I didn’t choose for my parents to divorce when it was an uncommon thing in the 1980’s.  It was not my choice to be a part of the relatively small Jewish community in the ‘burbs of Minneapolis, surrounded by a majority of Lutherans.  I chose to pursue theatre in my high school rather than with the local JCC.  Then I chose to be the only graduate of my HS to attend Ithaca College in New York State.

Before I understood intentional actions and conscious reality creation, I frequently did unusual things.  I made choices that were entirely my own.  But due to my lack of understanding about conscious reality creation, I frequently have experienced being the square peg attempting to fit into the round hole.  I need to leave no room for doubt, and create the life I most desire.

Sometimes this is more challenging than not, but I am going to make it work.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 30:

Diet:  I’ve been pretty good this week overall, following a weekend of not as good.

Exercise:  Fencing one day, four days of various exercise at the gym, and an afternoon of swimming.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred; I did some work on my sci-fi novel.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 5 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on five days last week.

 

This is the forty-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How do I Deal With a Test of Faith?

My faith is being tested.

I am facing a test of my belief in conscious reality creation.  Do I believe in myself, and my own ability to consciously create the reality I want to live in?  Do I believe I am manifesting the life I really want to experience?

I have always been the best at sabotaging myself.  There is no need for anyone else to interfere, I can do it just fine, thanks.  I always manage to find the right excuse, or the right issue, or what-have-you to keep small, to maintain the light, but not to increase its intensity.

Why do I sabotage myself?  Because change is scary.  Because my subconscious mind disbelieves I am deserving of the dreams I have.  There is an equal fear of success as there is of failure.  As much as I want to manifest a different life, there is comfort in what I currently have.

I know what I want, and I know that I have to trust the universe that I can manifest it.  The problem I run into is that my inner skeptic resists, and the challenge I experience from that is a lack of faith in consciousness creating reality.

How is my faith being tested?

I have a job that pays me a decent salary, and offers me some decent benefits, too.  I also get paid time off, PTO, which I have not had for quite some time.  This is something I’ve taken advantage of, and so I’ve enjoyed several long weekends, as well as a week at an SCA war in Mississippi, and gotten paid while not working.

Our timekeeping system at this job is wildly inaccurate.  As such, I was led to believe that I had considerably more PTO than I actually do.  In fact, I have so little PTO left that it will pretty much go to the remaining holidays of the year (yes, our system makes no distinctions, PTO is PTO).

This being a holiday week, the office was closed Monday and Tuesday.  To travel to an SCA event, I took today off.  Except, now, I cannot request to be paid for any of these three days.  Thus, I will only be paid for two days this week.

Will this hurt me financially?  Currently, I am happy to report that it will not.  And yet, I am slightly uncomfortable, and debating changing my plans.

In what way is this testing my faith?

I have written here before about my desire to move on from this job, and to write full time.  I write constantly about consciousness creating reality…but as soon as something uncomfortable happens, I shy away.  To be free to travel to events at will and choose how to spend my days is a major component of the reality I am striving to make manifest.  Do I have enough faith in my conscious reality creation to go with my original plan, and continue on the path I have chosen?

Every single self-help and spiritual book I have read or listened to says the same thing.  To manifest the life I want, I have to step outside of my comfort zones.  I have to get uncomfortable, I have to take chances and risks.  It is imperative that I have faith in the Universe to take my thought, feeling and action and make it real.  This is particularly important when the how is unknown…and frequently, the how is a mystery.

Yes, my job is stable, the pay is decent, and the dress code at the office is outstanding.  But this is not who I am, and this is not where I want to spend most of my waking hours.  I want to live the fullest, most joyful life I can.

Can I surrender to the Universe?

There is no denial that I am a bit of a control freak.  Hell, one of the points of Pathwalking is to take control of my destiny.  I have succeeded in consciously creating my reality before, when I had total faith in only one possible outcome.  Some of these experiences were enormous, and some far more minute.  But I know, logically, that I am able to manifest what I desire.  Yet emotionally, I have a much harder time accepting this.  Thus, this test of faith.

Do I truly believe that I can have the goal I am striving towards?  Am I deserving of this?  Can I succeed at manifesting the life I most desire?  Am I willing to get uncomfortable in making the life I want to make?  These are the questions of faith before me, and together they all boil down to this last question.  Can I surrender it all up the Universe?

Is my faith that consciousness creates reality as strong as I wish it to be?  Can I put out the thought, feel the emotion, and act intentionally without knowing all of the how of it, and let the Universe do its thing?  That’s the question with the glowing eyes boring into me.

Expressing my faith.

In showing my faith in the Universe, I am not changing my plans.  Uncomfortable is but a step when it comes to change.  I move forward, eyes wide open, trusting in my faith.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 27:

Diet:  I was lax over the past weekend, but apart from a higher carb intake, not so bad.

Exercise:  Fencing one day, two days of a single lap around the small lake.  One day with a ton of walking.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done.

Meditation:  Four of seven days last week, never less than 4 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on four days last week.

 

This is the forty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

 

 

 

Pathwalking 149

How do you remain optimistic and focused on the path in the face of injustice?

When you see that the world seems to be going mad, and the bliss of ignorance seems to be reigning supreme, how do you keep at it?

The short answer is – you simply do. You have a path. You have made a choice. Keep at it.

The longer answer is – some days it feels as though nothing you do will matter. You watch the struggles of friends and families and even perfect strangers across the world, and you can easily begin to feel defeated and overwhelmed.

The important thing is to remember that Pathwalking is about only you. This is about your choices and your decisions, and the life you are working on creating for yourself.

I created this notion for me, but I am sharing it because I believe it is larger than I am. This idea that we can live our lives and be in control, rather than letting life live us and having no choices is not new by any stretch of the imagination. Others have shared this idea in different packaging, often much slicker than mine and sold at a premium. However you view it, one of the hardest things to keep in mind is that you cannot do anything about anyone else’s path.

We are dominated by largely disturbing news. Our so-called leaders are much more fond of ruling through fear, more often overblown concepts of only slightly problematic issues, than effective problem-solving governance. Our leaders prefer us ignorant and afraid because it makes us better followers.

Pathwalking is about the individual struggle to control my own destiny. I do not want some smarmy politician or some fanatical religious zealot or anyone else for that matter to be choosing my life for me. I also believe that I can have a pretty amazing life full of wonder and excitement when I do this. My ideas made manifest through my thoughts, my feelings and my actions.

This past week or so has been a reminder of how influential outside forces can be. I have been witness to situations that have caused me to be disappointed in people, both as individuals and as a society, on a personal and a philosophical level.

I have to remind myself that while I share Pathwalking with the world, I cannot expect anything more than for people to join me on this journey, and take their own path. As much as I talk about the dangers of outside influences I want to BE one. Even though that would, I believe, be a positive influence, I am still striving for something that I can’t actually have any control over, and that is dangerous.

Part my chosen path is to share this idea, to help you to see paths and make decisions about choosing them. I struggle with this, as I share regularly, but persevere. I have had many compliments about the work I am doing, and the ideas I share. And yet part of what I want to accomplish is to be someone people look to in order to lead. The issue this causes is that I get disappointed and forget the importance of not taking things personally when I read the news and see the backlash against free thinking and it gets to me.

I am one man. I cannot influence anyone else, I cannot choose another’s path. I have to live MY life, for myself, and I can only control my own thoughts, emotions and actions. I cannot do more than share the concepts and ideas with you, I cannot make you take them into your life and share them with others and thus spread the concept further.

I have to remember that Pathwalking is an idea that everyone everywhere can use. I can share the sense of empowerment it enables, I can show how manifestation is possible and that we can make our lives better. I can only control how I feel, and as such I need to do a better job.

I am letting negative outside influences effect my emotions. I am allowing my feelings of disappointment overwhelm my ability to focus on positive feelings, and that is in turn making me feel even more frustrated. I have to take a step back, take a breath, and take back control.

My path is not yours. Your path is not mine. I alone have the power to choose for me, nobody else can do that. When I began to take this journey I found that I am a more well-adjusted, overall happier and more mentally fit person when I choose my own way. I have to remember that, and I have to take a deep breath, and alter my focus.

I cannot ignore what is happening outside of me. Nor, frankly, should I. But I can choose how much or how little I can let things influence my day, influence my thinking, and I can choose how this makes me feel. Breathe deep, slow down, think it through, and while still acknowledging the things that make me feel bad, do not absorb them into myself.

Easier said than done. But it is up to me to decide, and up to me to choose how I let the world outside of myself influence my own life. I would rather take control of my emotions than let the world harden, upset, and defeat me. I am making the choices.

Do you control your feelings, or do your feelings control you?

 

This is the one-hundred forty ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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