The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: judgement

How Does Praise Empower?

Everybody likes to receive praise.

When you do a thing, and you do it well, receiving praise for it feels amazing.  It is incredibly empowering, and it serves as an affirmation of the choices you make along the way.

For whatever reason, though, our modern society eschews praise.  We have an almost surreal talent for criticism, but when it comes to praise, we seem to display something of an aversion to it.

PraiseI suspect that one of the reasons for this is because there is a backlash borne of false praise.  When we over-emphasize the celebration of mediocrity, and heap praise for simple participation, we disempower in the interest of inclusion.  We praise all, or we praise none.

Yet we are almost obsessed with criticism.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are situations where this is completely called for, like politics.  An example of where this is over-the-top is when it comes to celebrities.  There is an entire industry of media focused on what they wear, their level of fitness, whom they are dating, and so on.  Snarking at celebrities is accepted as the price they pay for being public figures.

Unfortunately, this carries over to everyone else.  People tend to criticize and comment on the people in their lives with far more negativity than positivity.  What we forget is that, while we don’t actually do these things maliciously, they impact the people around us and lower all of our frequencies.

Consciousness creates reality.  When you are focused on the flaws and negatives of the people around you, that is what you draw more of to you.  It does bounce back.  Heap criticism and comments at people, and they will be returned to you.  This, in turn, makes nobody feel terribly empowered.

Praise raises our frequencies.

Everything in the universe is based in energy.  All energy has a frequency.  Low frequencies are made of low feelings, low energy.  High frequencies are made of high feelings and high energy.  The low makes us feel bad, the high makes us feel good.

This is why praise matters.  A lot of work environments people experience involve trying to avoid criticism and disapproval, thus cultivating low vibrations and frequencies.  Avoiding getting judged by our bosses and coworkers is not empowering, and doesn’t feel good.

When we work in an environment where praise is given for jobs well done, achievements that are made, and good performance, we are empowered.  This type of environment cultivates high vibration and frequencies.  Working for reward is empowering, and feels good.

I can’t think of anyone who does not prefer to be rewarded over being penalized.  Being given an accolade feels good and empowers us to continue to perform at high energy.  When we receive penalties and judgements if we do not meet a given standard, we are disempowered, and likely to continue to find little or no satisfaction in what we do.

Is it easier to criticize than to praise?  No.  However, I think because a lot of energy was given to praising for simply participation and averageness, praise comes less easily.

Again, it’s important to look at our society.  Everywhere you look people are being criticized and judged for anything you can imagine.  While some is justifiable, like in the case of our government, much of it is not.  While the majority is not intended to be mean, it still lowers the vibrational frequencies of our energy.  Thus, we are great at making ourselves and others feel bad.

Like pretty much everything in the world, starting small can snowball.

Be aware of whether you are offering praise or judgement.

It starts with us.  How often do you wind up talking about someone you care about or love critically?  Does it come rather easily?  Is your criticism more observational than malicious?  How does it make you feel?

I love my friends and family, but I am frequently being critical of things they do.  It doesn’t come from a place of spite or intentional meanness.  I think it’s a matter of comparison to my own thought processes on a given situation.

The challenge is to be aware.  Oh, look, something else that comes down to awareness of the here-and-now.  When I am thinking about the people in my life, when I am critical of their actions, I am lowering all of our frequencies.  Ergo, it is up to me to consider this, and change my reactions consciously.

One of the best ways to do this is to find reasons and means to praise.  If I can offer praise I am raising all of our frequencies.  Praise makes everyone feel good, and when we feel good, we choose more wisely, and I believe consciously, our thoughts, feelings and actions.

Recognize false praise and constructive criticism.

Two words of caution here.  First – false praise.  Praising for mediocrity can be as disempowering as criticism.  Wow, you got out of bed this morning – good for you! is rather mocking.  This is where we lose the power praise can generate.  Praise can still be for simple things, such as you look good today or I like that shirt on you or you are raising incredible kids.

Second – constructive criticism.  This is a real thing, and can actually be empowering.  Criticism feels bad.  That pie you baked wasn’t very good makes you feel lousy.  Thank you for baking that pie.  Could I offer some flavoring suggestions? might still be awkward, but opens the door to dialogue rather than judgement.  There are times people need help to improve in some way or other.

Praise can be incredibly empowering.  When you are walking a path you have chosen for yourself, praise goes a long ways to make the journey better.  Consider how criticism and praise make you feel, be aware of how you are thinking and speaking about people around you.  Raise everyone’s frequency by offering praise.

Like I said in Positivity this week – You are amazing.  No matter if we know one another or not, I want you to know that I believe you are amazing, and can do incredible things.

What praise have you offered of late?

 

This is the three-hundred-fifteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

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Pathwalking 87

I have come to realize that if I am having doubts and issues and struggles along MY path, it is certain you are too.  Pathwalking began as a challenge to myself to post something to the blog weekly, and has evolved into a lifestyle choice, and a philosophy that I think can be beneficial to practically everyone.

But with any lifestyle choice that encourages going “against the grain” or outside of the “status quo”, there are unique challenges. Many of these have to do with external forces, some personal like friends, family and coworkers…some are more abstract and impersonal, like government officials and business moguls and the economy.

Introvert or extrovert, we are social creatures.  I have yet to meet anyone who did not, in some form or other, seek comfort or validation or some other type of acknowledgement from other people.  Praise or scorn, approval or ridicule, love or hate, we need to get at least some recognition from outside of our own heads.

We all measure success and failure in different ways.  So, too, do those around us.  And when we look to them for acknowledgement, when we receive none, or worse, the opposite of what we are seeking, our energy can be sapped and forward momentum halted.

Yes, it is important that we realize how much more of our issues are internal rather than external.  Yes, we need to be more accountable for our own lives, emotions, and actions.  However, we cannot discount the influence of the world around us, or our need for outside input.

I want to share with you the path I am currently choosing to walk.  There are several reasons why I am going to get this personal, most of which have to do with my own clarity of thought.

I have gotten two short stories published in anthologies.  I have self-published the first year of Pathwalking in book form.  I have written numerous magazine articles, content for websites, press releases, and business-related texts.  I have four completed but as-yet unpublished novels, and another four novelettes.  I am a writer, and at least some kind of writing finds its way from my mind through my fingers across the keyboard and into readable form daily.

Meanwhile, I work at a small retail shop and spa as a manager with several different hats.  My hours are somewhat funky, but I like my job and my coworkers.  I do not dread going to work like I have during my experience in Corporate America, but I DO miss the pay and benefits that lifestyle provided me.  I do NOT, however, miss the stress, the corporate politics, and often ludicrous rules and restrictions.

I also am administrator for a couple different websites, and pick up occasional odd jobs for a small business I created for myself.  I am additionally an officer of a local Chamber of Commerce.  Suffice it to say, answering the question “What do you do for a living?” changes depending on who is asking…or my mood…or which group I am a part of…or other factors at the time.

I am currently unmarried, but in a loving and stable relationship.  We have a home and cat together.

While I see many aspects of my life as successful, there are certainly others out there who see differently.  Some see my relationship and question our remaining unmarried.  Some see my job, and question why I accept strange hours and a low salary.  Some see my writing, and question how I can believe in its strength.  Some people see my abilities with computers and technology, and question why I have not pursued this further.

It can be difficult to explain to people that while I am working on making changes in my life to certain aspects of it, I have made the choices that have brought me here.  More than that, I am happy to be on this path of my own choosing.  Yes, it is imperfect, but it is mine.  And more than that, it is not static, it can be and is constantly being changed.

The relationship grows.  Jobs transform.  My writing evolves.  I can choose to pursue skills with technology further.

My point is that even when outside influences cause me to question my choices, my actions, and my plans, I can ask myself if what they are offering me is valid and helpful, or baseless and unconstructive.  Either way, it is a matter of social interaction, which is essential to my overall wellbeing.  How I react to that interaction is, you guessed it, a choice.  And because I am only human, some days I choose better than others.

Pathwalking is a constant, ever-evolving choice.  But I have come to believe it is an outstanding choice.  I learn new things along my path every day – don’t you?

 

This is the eighty-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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