The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: doubt (Page 1 of 3)

Are You Kind?

Be kind to yourself.  Give kindness to others.

I am sitting here this morning, trying to come up with words for this post, and I have been doing my usual routine.  I go to Facebook, I play a couple games, and I read through a bunch of posts.

KindThere are a lot of discouraging things going on out there.  So much anger, so much fear, such unbelievable negativity.  Is this really the world we want to live in?

I don’t know about you, but I am not a fan of this.  Of course it’s important to stay informed, but the volume of bad news is just thoroughly distressing.  It overwhelms, and I can’t help but wonder what good, if any, I can do here?

I can be better to myself.  I can treat myself like I want to be treated by others, and then I can extend that out to the people around me.

Positivity this week covered taking one step at a time, while Pathwalking covered the power of tenacity.  I have been having a hard time coming up with a topic for Crossing the Bridges, because I have a lot in my head, and am having a difficult time centering.

Anger and anxiety have been clouding my mind this morning. I am feeling somewhat helpless in the face of all the negativity I have been reading.

It is, of course, ok to feel angry, to feel bad, to get annoyed by these things.  The problem is holding onto them too tightly.  If I allow my feelings to stay here and fester, I will lower my frequency, and I will have an ever-increasingly difficult time getting where I want to go.

Pause.  Breathe.  Refocus.  Most of all…be kind.  I need to be kind to myself.

Being kind is a key to conscious reality creation.

I know that like many people, I am often the least kind to myself.  There is a lot of self-doubt, criticism, uncertainty that crops up in my life.  When I am focused on these things, they cause me to not think so well of myself.  This is not a terribly useful approach to life.

So I need to be more kind to myself.  It’s all well-and-good to be kind to others, but if I do not show myself kindness, then I actually have less to share, too.  Like pretty much everything in the universe, it all starts with the individual.

Consciousness creates reality.  If I am focused on negative things, on unkind things, what do you think I am drawing into my life?  No surprise here – more things I would prefer not to draw to myself.  Thus it’s really important that I remember to treat myself kindly, and to be gentle towards my heart and mind.

When I am more kind to me, I build more ability to be kinder to others.  Positivity begets positivity.  The best way to empower anyone else is to empower myself.

This past month has been rough.  Sure, I can dwell on this…or I can acknowledge it, and strive to make every day a good day.  One step at a time, one day at a time.  Frequently that really is the best approach.

Sometimes the toughest things to do are the simplest.  Self-love and kindness towards self should be really easy.  Yet often, they are the most challenging act to take part of.  It is important to remember that being kind to others is great, but being kind to myself is also extremely important.

Remember that kind acts beget kindness.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.


This is the seventieth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Is Tenacity?

Tenacity, like patience, has never been my strongest suit.

One of the keys to succeeding at reaching the destination of any given path, though, is tenacious resolve.

What does it mean to have tenacity?  It is best described as the ability to stick-to whatever you are trying to make happen.  I often picture this as a dog with her jaws fastened to a stick she just will not relinquish.  She would rather hold onto it then let it go, even to be thrown.  That is tenacious resolve.

TenacityIn the steps of conscious reality creation (thought, feeling and action), tenacity is particularly important to feeling.  This is where unwavering resolve in feeling the desired goal, as though it is already complete, is so incredibly important.

Most of the great inventors who have changed the world had a singular vision.  They saw the thing they wanted to create.  Maybe they knew how it could come about, but likely they didn’t.  Still, they believed.  They felt it in their soul as being real.  Nothing would derail them from their feeling that they could make their invention happen.  That’s what it is all about.

Manifestation of anything we desire begins with thought.  I have this idea.  Then, we have to give that thought feeling.  It feels amazing to see this idea become reality.  Having the idea in my possession improves my lifeThis idea makes me happy.  Yes, the initial feeling is going to likely look ahead.  But visceral feelings in the here-and-now are how we consciously create reality and make the idea manifest.

From the thought and feeling there will be intentional action.  I am making a list of all the cool things the idea, manifested, will let into my life or I am inspired to take this action for the idea.

Tenacity is the difference between “Try” and “Do”.

How often do I refer to this quote from Yoda?  “Try not…do, or do not…there is no try!”  The reason Yoda tells Like this is because he needs to fully believe in no other outcome but what he is aiming for.  To mentally prepare to try can leave room for doubt.  Try is soft, and opens us up to letting go.  Well, I tried becomes an excuse to quit.

Doing is much more solid.  I did it is a bold, solid statement.  Even if it takes multiple attempts, I did it a dozen times before I got it done is still completion.

Even if, at the conclusion, you didn’t get the end result you intended, you did the thing.  Failure still teaches.  Yoda states this rather plainly, too.  “The greatest teacher, failure is.”  Often we learn more from failing than we do from succeeding.

How does that work?  When I started working after college, over my career I have worked for a lot of different companies.  In multiple instances, I watched them make mistakes and do things poorly, so I was unsurprised when they failed.  It is my belief that I learned more about how to run a business and manage people by seeing how NOT to run a business and mange people.  Those failures were excellent teachers.

Still, for a long time I continued to bounce from job to job.  Often something about a given job just wasn’t the right fit for me.  I recognized that I should probably be my own boss.

Over the years I played with numerous business ideas.  I even started a small business for a multitude of small business consulting options.  I can come up with a lot of reason why it didn’t work out, but the truth is – I lacked the tenacity.

Tenacity gets the job done.

Because I didn’t give my business the attention it deserved, it didn’t go anywhere.  It didn’t fail, it just didn’t do anything.  I had a job here and there, but I didn’t push.  There was some attempts to promote and market myself, but in truth all I can say here is that I tried.  And because that was all the energy I gave this idea, and I didn’t just DO for my business, it faded out.

It has now been six years since I began Pathwalking.  This has caused some very positive changes in my life.  Yet I am still not exactly where I want to be.  Why?  Tenacity.  I try a lot, but I don’t do as frequently.  This inaction keeps me where I am…not quite where I want to be.

I have the thought.  I know how it should feel.  That is where I get stuck.  Sometimes this is self-sabotage, rooted in my long-time fear of abandonment due to success or failure.  There are times I lack the necessary ambition to push when I know that I should.  There are as many excuses as drops of water in the ocean, but the truth is I need more tenacity.

To that end, I am blogging here three times a week, and have redesigned the concept of the entire blog.  Every other week I am writing up some sort of blog post to my author website, too.  Still, I could be writing more than I am, and researching options to better promote and sell my novels.  This is where I need to work on being more tenacious.

If I am going to walk the path to becoming a best-selling author, I know what I need to do.

No room for doubt, be tenacious!

Recently, I completed a 21 day course from Jen Sincero for changing a habit.  As she points out, 80% of the people who pay for such a course do not complete it.  Why?  They do not use their tenacity to see it through.

Pathwalking to achieve conscious reality creation requires a lot of stick-to-itiveness, or rather, tenacity.  Recognizing this, I can see what more I need to do to manifest my desires.  I know where I need to focus my feelings with more willfulness.

I am writer.  Which means that I need to work on everything that will hone my craft.  Tenaciously.

What have you pursued tenaciously?


This is the three-hundred-seventeenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted).  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

How Does Self-Doubt Impact You?

Self-doubt and indecision will complicate Pathwalking.

I strive to be less doubtful about who I am, and to do better with making decisions about my life.  Pathwalking is about choosing for myself, rather than letting random chance just happen.

Yet I still question if I am deserving of this.  I doubt myself, my abilities to do the things I want to do.  This in turn can make me indecisive, and I get stuck in uncertainty.

Self-doubt comes from many places.  Perceived failures, discipline or lack thereof, wrong choices, disproven beliefs, mistakes, miscommunication, and a lack of outside validation.  It is unfortunately easy to blame those outside forces for causing self-doubt, but this is totally an inside job.

If I am doubting myself, then it’s all on me.  The only person inside my head is me.  Nobody else can think for me, unless I give up my free will and let them.

As if that’s not enough of a complication, focusing on the things that I am doubting about myself draws more things.  The self-talk in my head is too negative, and as such not very productive.  I berate myself, see my flaws, get upset with mistakes and missteps and perceived failures too easily.

This complicates Pathwalking, because I get focused on things I don’t want for myself, and then of course that will create more of those.  I get more doubtful, and then get frustrated when I am unproductive, and become distracted because I can’t focus.

Self-doubt is a liar.

This is a hard truth to accept.  Your self-doubt is a lie.  It is that nagging voice in your head telling you that you are unacceptable.  This is the voice saying you are worthless.  It’s the brain weasels running around aimlessly, probably giving you a headache.

When we believe the worst of ourselves, we don’t feel terribly good.  This is where depression is born, and the lying black wolf will make us indecisive about all kinds of things.  You start to question decisions, ideas, plans and goals when you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt may be a wholly internal matter, however its cause can be rooted in outside forces and influences.  When you do not receive validation, whatever form that may take, it can be disheartening.  If you are not recognized for your skills and contributions, you may begin to question your value and worth.

This gets even more complicated when the outside forces are loved ones.  If your own family makes you question your value and worth, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.  When your friends tell you things “for your own good” that might upset you, this too can make you doubtful.  That’s particularly rough when they are questioning your choices, and causing you to question them in turn.

Self-doubt can lead to indecision.

When you doubt yourself, you start to doubt your choices.  You begin to wonder if you are making good choices, or bad choices.  As such, this can lead you to either not make a choice, or to be particularly indecisive.

I have spent a great deal of my life in indecision.  Rather than choose wrong, I either didn’t choose at all, or hmmmed and hawed until I either had no choices remaining, or only one choice available.  I didn’t choose to pursue professional radio after college because I doubted I would be able to build a similar life to that which I had in Podunk, Middle America.  No pursuit of a professional theatre career was every truly initiated by me, because there is huge amounts of uncertainty when it comes to theatre and success.  I didn’t put my focus into turning my writing into a career in my twenties because I listened to those who said that it didn’t pay.

The indecision of my twenties and thirties was fueled by my self-doubt, and unsurprisingly my self-doubt was fueled by my indecision.  Because I spent nearly two decades constantly doubting myself and being indecisive, I did not find financial, career, or relationship successes.  I came to believe that I was a failure, and that I didn’t deserve to succeed because of my mistakes along the way.

I began to believe my own doubts were true.  Maybe I was a failure, maybe I was unworthy of respect.  How could I turn this around and change the dialogue?

Turn self-doubt into self-worth.

I have begun to see now that I am a worthwhile individual.  I contribute to the world around me, helping friends and family and even strangers when I can.  There is worth in what I do, and rather than get hung up on long-term and overarching success, I need to see success in the small things in life.

Often this is still easier said than done.  I am currently striking out on my own to find freelance writing jobs and take my existing work to the next level.  With my desire to be a bestselling author, I am working on finding ways to increase sales of my work, and get myself out there.

Now I have the opportunity to live what I have been writing about for almost six years.  Pathwalking is choosing my own destiny, making choices and deciding to have the life I most want.

Self-doubt is a saboteur.  I know that some days I am going to feel like I am not able to do this, and that I lack the discipline.  I allow those who mean well but say upsetting things to get inside my head; negative news well outside my control impacts my thoughts.  This needs to be acknowledged because it is there, and unavoidable.  But, once I have done that, I need to them proceed to let it go.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.  I need to be bold, make decisions, and not let my self-doubt interfere with the paths I am walking.

What do you do when faced with self-doubt and indecision?


This is the two-hundred ninety-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Awesome Are You?

You are awesome.  Yes, I am talking to YOU.

We are not told frequently enough how incredible we are.  You are awesome.  For real, you are an amazing, incredible person, and you have a lot to offer to this world.

Self-doubt has the unfortunate power of stopping us from becoming what we want to be.  Some of the doubt is due to outside influences, but the majority is on each and every one of us.  We are our own worst enemies and harshest critics.

It’s easy to question the choices we have made.  Society is pretty judgmental, so it doesn’t take much to view the verdicts of those around us as our own.

I have made choices that were less-than stellar.  Decisions were made and not made that have placed me in my life where it is now.  I am a master of doubting myself, and I allow my doubts to manifest into fears.  When doubt becomes fear, guess what happens?  Yup, I sabotage myself and continue to build up more and more doubt.

How many of you do the same thing?

Don’t doubt how awesome you are.

You are an incredible person.  No matter what errors you have committed, what mistakes you have made, you are awesome.  You are the one and only you that there is.  When we each accept ourselves for how awesome we truly are, we can move mountains and create amazing things.

Consciousness creates reality.  When we focus on our doubts and perceived shortcomings, guess what we tend to create more of?  Reasons to doubt and see our shortcomings.  Focus instead on how awesome you are, and all that you care capable of.  When we do this, we generate incredible positivity, and that in turn makes us happier.

Positivity - How Awesome Are You?Do you want to be happy in this life?  I do.  Look, the world is imperfect.  Some is the result of people and their various machinations.  Some are nature, as in nobody can be blamed for the hurricane ravaging Texas.  What matters is that we take our awesomeness and use it to do good and offer necessary resistance to our fear-based society.

Don’t doubt how awesome you are.  I believe in you.  I may not be anyone of consequence in your life, but if I believe in you, shouldn’t you be able to believe in yourself?  Do not doubt how awesome you are.  Know that YOU are awesome!

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that you are awesome, you can let go of your self-doubt and use your awesomeness to manifest an amazing life.  When we let go of our self-doubt and recognize how awesome we are, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.


This is the one hundred eighty-seventh entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.


Pathwalking 243

We all experience things that cause us to have an immediate, negative emotional response.

Last week I wrote about not holding onto that and letting it take hold of you.

So, what are some means by which to cope with a negative emotional response?

Everyone can employ something different, and there is of course no one true response.  Also, situationally, different matters may call for a different response.  Some options for releasing that immediate negative response could include meditation, crying, screaming, taking it out on a punching bag, kicking a can across the lawn, and so on.

Depending on intensity, and what the emotion is and how deep it runs, combinations of actions may be required to allow for release.

I need to clarify a couple points before I go on.  First – this is specifically about that immediate, negative emotional response to something that has happened.  That gut-wrenching, upsetting, intense emotional feeling, whether it is anger, upset, sadness, rage, jealousy, or some other visceral reaction to something.  High-energy negativity, which could easily spiral into more, deeper negativity along the way if it is not acknowledged and then redirected.

Second – it is absolutely impossible to avoid this.  Congratulations, we are all human, and as such we all are susceptible to experiencing deep feelings, both positive and negative.  Because that is the case here, I want to acknowledge that this happens, and that it presents you choices to be made, despite the belief that such deep emotion can feel like it is impossible to stop.

Third – Negative emotions can be useful.  When you are in danger, when you have been used and/or abused by someone, when you finally realize that a situation you are in no longer works for you and this immediate negative emotion occurs, that can powerfully move you onwards.  This can be the inciting incident that helps you to see a situation of some sort might need to be changed, and as such can serve a purpose.

Fourth – To know positive emotions, we need to know the negative as well.  This is a dichotomy.  The opposite sides of the same coin.  The yin to the yang.  We can’t understand feeling good if we don’t understand feeling bad.  Believe me, having very little good emotion but an overbalance of negative is rough and unsustainable.

Finally – this idea is about control.  Rather than letting that immediate, powerful negative emotion take control of you and send you into a tailspin or downward spiral of further negativity, be it sadness, depression, guilt, anger or what-have-you, this is about taking back control of the matter and processing it so that you move on, rather than have your purpose and you plans derailed.

Because that immediate, negative reaction and emotional response can be so powerful, it can cause you to proceed in a direction you do not want to go.  Nobody I know wants to feel more anxious, more depressed, more guilty, more angry and so forth.

Rather than let that happen, action is required in order to release the negativity, so that you can move on.

It begins with acknowledging that something has happened.  Feel that feeling, this is in no way about denying or repressing the negative emotion.  It is good to feel it, the matter at hand here is letting it linger.

Once you recognize that it might be lingering, you need to examine that negative emotion or emotions, and determine what it might take for you to let them go.  What action can you take that will help you to feel better, and to seek out more positive experiences?

Suggestions I made previously include crying it out, ranting and screaming, meditating, punching or kicking something (preferably something that won’t cause you or someone else injury), going for a walk or a run, writing out a letter you won’t necessarily send, finding something you can break, and so on.  This needs to be an action, because action is the best means of transition from one place to another, even when those places are emotional.

It is important to note here that, just because you take actions to release the negative emotions, they may not simply be gone.  Depending on what triggered this, you may need to take a daily action to expand upon the release, you might need to use a different action to also give you release, etc.  Further, things may happen along the way that bring the initial negative emotional response back to the surface.  The idea here is that we can’t not feel negative emotions, but we can work on not allowing them to take root, and to be our way of approaching life, the universe and everything.

Shit happens.  We all have good days and bad days, and every single one of us will experience something where, emotionally, we will get hurt.  This is part of the human condition.  The question is, will you let that hurt make you a victim of life, or will you choose a different path?

Lastly, please know that you are not alone.  You might feel like you are, you may feel as if you are enduring far too much negativity, but no matter how intense it is, you are not alone.  I’ve been there.  So has almost everyone else.  We can get past these moments, and we can still choose and walk the paths we desire.

How do you release negative emotions?


GOAL LOG – Week 33:

Diet:  Overall, decent.  I think I still need fewer carbs, but I continue to mostly avoid sugar.  Summer is nearly over, and I’ve had NO ice cream!

Exercise: Fencing happened one day last week, and that was pretty much it for exercise.  I need to adjust this a lot.

Writing:  Apart from the blogs, zilch.  I totally need to get back into writing and editing daily.

Meditation:  Four days last week, at least 4 minutes each of those days.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for every day last week.


This is the two-hundred forty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 242

Ultimately, when it comes to how I feel, I am the only one who has any say.

For a lot of people, this seems hard to believe, I don’t doubt.  Why?  Because things happen that elicit an emotional response we have no control over.

Which is not true.

I agree that things happen that cause an emotional response.  Yes, we get into car accidents, we spill food on our clothes, we get hurt by someone we love, we do something we feel bad about later.  The immediate emotional response is a thing that happens, and that we cannot necessarily alter.

What we can change, however, is the emotion after that initial response.

The real issue I see in both myself and in others is how long I let that initial emotional response take hold of me.  Yes, I might feel sad, or angry, or insignificant, or hurt, or whatever negative matter you care to insert when whatever happens, happens.  However, it is what I do with that initial response that is important.

There are several ways in which we can and likely do handle that initial emotional response.  The challenge is in whether we gain control of the emotion, or let the emotion control us.

Most people simply go with it.  They feel whatever emotion has come up, they probably dwell on it for a time, and eventually it fades away.  This process will take variable amounts of time depending on the person, and how they manage themselves and their state of being.  There is nothing wrong with this response, and it’s pretty natural.

Some people, however, let that initial emotional response become a downward spiral.  She broke up with me!  I am obviously no good.  Clearly I don’t deserve to be happy.  I am worthless.  I am unlovable.  The downward spiral leads to deeper negativity, sadness, and quite possibly depression.

Depression is bad enough.  But what’s more problematic is when people allow their negative emotional responses to dictate their lives.  They suffer from depression, they have panic attacks, they might even allow themselves to become a victim.

I want to clarify the meaning of victim in this context.  I am not talking about someone who has been attacked or raped or otherwise victimized in some way.  I am talking about emotional victimization.  I am not even talking about emotional abuse, I am talking about when a person allows themselves to be victimized by their own emotional response and the downward spiral it has triggered.

To be fair, almost everyone goes through this at some point in their life.  Someone hurt you emotionally, you got upset and felt bad about it, but then you got angry and started questioning why me? and over time you were the victim because of how that person hurt you.  Probably this happened when you were still in middle school or high school.

Some people, however, do not learn a better response, and they continue to be victimized emotionally every time they get dumped, lose a job, don’t get invited to a party, and so on.  They let their hurt become their life, and they are constantly a victim.

After we have the initial emotional response to whatever situation we are facing, we get to choose how we will handle it from there.  Yes, I am upset or hurt or sad, but what do I do with it now?

This is why I say that when it comes to how I feel, I am the only one who has any say.  I can linger in the initial negative emotional response of whatever situation I am dealing with, or I can choose to find a way to let it go and move on.

No, this is not easy, in especial if you are an emotional person.  When you are the type of person who lives more in their heart than in their mind, I suspect that this is particularly challenging.  Yet ultimately I am the one who feels what I feel.

Additionally, people who have clinical depression and anxieties and similar issues have this challenge further magnified.

Nobody else feels what you feel, or how you feel it.  Period.  Oh sure, we give common names to feelings like happy, sad, love, hate, fear, joy and whatnot.  But how they feel is different for each and every one of us, which is where how we understand the intensity of emotions between one another gets particularly broken down.

This is why after we have that initial intense emotional response to a situation, it is important to check in with ourselves and determine if we really want to hold onto it, or work it out in some way.

This is not about forgetting something bad has happened.  Life is full of ups and downs, and I do not deny bad things happen.  But how long we hold onto those bad feelings is entirely under our control.  We need to develop coping mechanisms that will help us to release those bad feelings, and move on with our lives lest we become victims of our own emotions.

How?  That’s a challenge worthy of further exploration.  The short answer is that we need to choose means to release the way we are feeling so that we can change it.  Meditation, crying, screaming, taking it out on a punching bag, kicking a can across the lawn can all work, depending on intensity, and what the emotion is and how deep it runs.

This does not make the emotional response go away, but it does make it easier to not hold onto it, and be ruled by bad feelings.  Next week I will further explore means to change our emotional responses.

How do you handle things that make you feel bad?


GOAL LOG – Week 32:

Note – I did not maintain my goal log during my vacation.  Restarted it this week, so it will be back next week.


This is the two-hundred forty-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 241

It’s that time of the year again.  As you are reading this, I am on vacation.

I wanted to look back and see what I wrote last year at this time.  That, in turn, led me to read what I had written the previous year during this same week.

I didn’t stop there.  I paused and took a quick look back to all of my previous Pathwalks that were posted while I was on my annual vacation.  This year is my fifth.

Why does it matter that I still Pathwalk while on my vacation? This is the question I find I must pose to myself.

The first thing I should mention is that this is the twenty-first year I am attending the Pennsic War.  I have been to every consecutive one of these grand events during that time, alongside ten to fifteen-thousand others, for the past twenty years.

The Pennsic War is a two-week long event of the Society for Creative Anachronism, a world-wide medieval re-creation society I have been a part of since college, twenty-five years total this fall.  I have made amazing friends across the world in the years I have participated in this game, and this event is one of the biggest and most colorful.

I generally attend for about ten days total, and spend those days walking all over the place, fencing, shooting archery, and enjoying the company of some of my favorite people.  Many of you who read this might even be with me, or possibly facing me across the field.

When I created Pathwalking, it began as part of a New Years’ Action.  Rather than a resolution, when 2011 became 2012, I determined that I would take an action, and that action was a weekly blog.  It has been more than four-and-a-half years, and I continue these weekly posts, exploring this philosophy I continue to develop and work to improve upon.

Ok, so what?  Well, one of the things I most enjoy about attending Pennsic is that, being medieval re-creation, we dress in time-period appropriate garb, and use the event to escape the pressures of our modern society.

Twenty years ago this was quite a lot easier.  They used to bring in banks of pay-phones, for which there were still usually lines, to accommodate ten-thousand people checking in at home from time-to-time.

With the popularization of cellular phones, which themselves have evolved into incredible micro-computers, it is easy to remain connected to the real world, and still keep tabs on the wonders of social media, and of course the news.

Personally, I choose to use this vacation to escape from the modern world.  This is why, while yes you are reading a new post, I wrote this ahead of time and set it up to post on this day, while I am offline resting, relaxing, and having a good time with friends.

Yes, I have an iPhone and can totally connect to Facebook and G+ and Twitter.  I could even connect a larger wireless device and still write this on my vacation for posting.  However, I choose to disconnect, because this is part of my reset process.

In a past year I wrote about how disconnecting from time to time is a very helpful thing.  I mean, looking at the awful political climate here in the United States, let along other world happenings; it is rather soothing to be able to disconnect and escape from the insanity.

Yet it is important to me that I keep up with my action, and these weekly posts still go on.  It is extremely important to me that I maintain this unbroken chain, and that I keep the action I took for myself going.  Four and a half years on, I have not missed a week, and strive to keep going with that.

So what’s the point of this rambling post this week?  I want to say thank you.  Thank you for continuing to travel with me on my path.  I created Pathwalking for my own need to find my own way in life, and decided to share because I thought it might be a helpful notion for others.

However, as I have continued this through the years, knowing that I have touched others with these posts, and my ideas, I am even more grateful that I have you to bounce this concept off of.  You are why it is important to me that this post is still here, even when I am taking a break from the so-called real world.

I have written a lot across these posts.  Two-hundred and forty-one weeks, as many posts, a lot of different topics of focus, sometimes a different angle on a previously discussed matter.  While I take my vacation from my job and from the instantly-connected world, and social media, this is too important to me to let go, because you are so important to my path.

This might be a bit sappy, I suppose, but I still feel I need to express to you my gratitude.  Thank you for reading, and I hope you will continue to travel these paths with me, as you explore your own.

What do you do on your vacations?


GOAL LOG – Week 31:

Note – I am not maintaining my goal log during my vacation, but still want to leave this here.

Diet: I am probably not eating my best, but likely burning it off with the walking alone.

Exercise: If this is a typical Pennsic, I am walking miles every day, and fencing, and shooting archery, and getting a ton of exercise in.

Writing:  Likely little of this is happening.

Meditation:  Unknown.

Gratitude: I hope to be maintaining this.


This is the two-hundred forty-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 240

I frequently write about energy.

I believe that everything, at its core, is energy.  That is the center of the Universe, that is the point of origin for all.  We begin and end as energy, neither created nor destroyed, frequently transmuted.

Over the past half a year plus, I have been working to meditate more frequently.  Why?  Because meditation is the ultimate means to connect to source energy.

What is source energy?  Source energy is pure energy in the air, surrounding us, penetrating us, binding the galaxy together.  Yes, it is The Force, but it is still a very real thing.  Nevertheless, source energy, or universal energy, is the ultimate.

We are made of energy at our deepest, most intricate level.  Everything we can see, touch, smell or otherwise engage with is made of energy.  And of course, the devices that connect us across the world utilize energy in a wholly different form.  It is everywhere, and it is constant, and it cannot be created nor destroyed, just transmuted and repurposed.

Meditating, as I explained earlier this week in Positivity, is a great means to allow one to connect and disconnect with the universe.  On the one hand you can seek out your own inner thoughts and manage them in new ways, while on the other you can utterly lose yourself and join source energy for a time.

However you choose to meditate, this is an ultimate chance to pause, to get ahold of yourself, to experience the world while connected with everything at its most base existence…and yet be disconnected from it all.

Why does connecting with source energy matter?  Because it provides us with an opportunity to ultimately examine ourselves.  Not just the past and present, and not the immediate, touchable here-and-now, but our core, true, intentional selves.

What does that mean?  In Billy Joel’s The Stranger, the opening line is “Well we all have a face that we hide away forever, and we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone.”  The thing is, we don’t just wear faces for other people, we wear them for ourselves, too.

Sometimes this is a necessary evil.  When you get out of bed after a restless night of insomnia, stub your toe, then drop the cap of your toothpaste down the drain and burn your tongue on the first cup of coffee,  chances are you might just spiral into a terrible day.  However, if you work to leave that all behind and put on a different face, you don’t show up to work carrying with you that crazy, no good, terrible morning.

You choose to put on a different face in part for yourself, so that you can do what needs to be done, and in part for everyone else, so that you don’t present to them a bitter, angry, flustered person nobody would want to be around, yourself included.

So we are constantly putting on different faces, different attitudes, and as such leaving behind our genuine selves.  Frequently, who we really are is covered under a different persona that has been cultivated to help you walk the path you have chosen.

Connecting with source energy allows us to get ourselves beneath the faces we wear, under the surface and deep into our core.  We get to venture to a place where, merging into Universal energy, we needn’t wear even our skin, so we can be our most real, most genuine, most true self.

This is not always easy.  Sometimes when I meditate, getting into the zone is challenging.  There are times I can neither focus nor unfocus, and I might just sit there quiet for more time than truly getting to merge into that source energy.  But I strive to achieve this goal, because I love the ultimate freedom deep mediation opens me up to.

When you go to source energy, you become energy.  This is where we begin, it is where we will end, we simply have transmuted into this meat suit we present to the world, fat, thin, short, tall, black, white male, female, or what-have-you.  The real, core you and me is energy, and meditating connects us back to source energy, back to the core of it all.

By converging with source energy, we allow ourselves to be fully, completely and totally open to endless possibilities.  We are ultimately free to experience both the little and the grand things.  We can find the answers to almost all of our questions, because when we are one with Universal energy everything is possible.

This is why energy is so important.  When we recognize that we are pure energy at our own core, and we seek to connect to the energy at the core of the universe, we can find calm, peace, contentment, and all the answers we could possibly desire.

I am striving to meditate daily because I find that the sensations I experience when connecting to Universal energy are incomparable.  I find that if I mediate in the morning my day feels more connected, and I feel as though I am better able to manage everything the comes my way.  If I mediate in the night I find that my sleep is more restful, and I am better able to do things like write these posts or work on other necessary projects.

When we recognize that we are energy, and that energy is the root of it all, we can make better choices and more happily traverse the paths we have chosen for our lives.

Do you connect yourself to core energy?


GOAL LOG – Week 30:

Diet: I am still eating fairly decently.  Had more sugar this past week, feel I need to cut back further on that and on carbs still as well.

Exercise: I was a bit of a slug this week, apart from a night of packing up the car after a day up and down many stairs.  Otherwise, not my week for exercising.  Next week is Pennsic, so TONS of walking, fencing and exercise on the horizon.

Writing:  See above.  And next week will probably be little-to-no writing, as I will be away and focused on other things.

Meditation:  Seven total days of meditation, no less than 5 minutes each day.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 things to be grateful for every day.


This is the two-hundred fortieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 239

While you, and you alone, can choose and walk a given path, you don’t necessarily need to do so on your own.

The key is to know the difference between allowing someone to offer guidance, advice and help versus control, obstruction and discouragement.

Nobody knows everything.  Plain and simple, nobody knows everything.

Because that’s the case, everyone needs to seek help, advice and assistance from time to time.  While we may each have our own expertise, there will always be something we do not have familiarity with, and we may need to learn.

One of the best things about this life we have is that there is always something new to be learned.  There is always something I don’t already know, which I can study and learn and gain new experiences from and with.

So how do you find assistance, and determine if it is helpful or hurtful?

There are three distinctly different ways in which you may be aided in the path you are working on.  To be fair, I am generalizing here, but this is still an important consideration.

First – help from a person.  You look for an expert in the field, a guide, a coach, or an assistant.  You take an inspired action, and you choose someone to provide the help you need.

This can take several forms.  You hire a coach, you have a sit-down conversation with a confidant, you engage a contemporary, you dive into a philosophical discussion with a stranger at the pub.  Whatever form it takes, you have actively sought out this help, and are trying to get answers, assistance, and maybe even direction.

The challenge is to not give away your power to another.  Sometimes the answer you receive will not be the answer you need.  How will you know?  You will know by how it makes you feel.

If you feel that the information the helper you commiserated with does not resonate with you, consider seeking other advice.  But if you didn’t get the answer you wanted, but your gut tells you it’s still the right info, consider what to do with it.

When you choose to seek help in this manner, you have to keep in mind that some people will have their “best intentions” for you, and in the process attempt to control, obstruct or discourage whatever it is you are working on.  You alone are inside your own head, so only you can decide if the advice you receive in any way aligns with your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.

When you seek out help in whatever manner you do, remember that you are still the one walking the path, you just needed information to continue, or options to make the best choices, or an alternative perspective to your own, or something else of this nature.  If you are seeking help in order to let someone else control your path, it’s a question of how strongly you believe in the path you have chosen, and whether the time has come to choose another.

Second – help from a passive source.  I have read any number of books on all kinds of different topics.  Some have been in the holistic self-help pantheon, some have been more business oriented and professional.

There is a vast wealth of information out there, and as such numerous tomes have been written about nearly every topic you can imagine.  However, some of that information is wildly speculative, some of it is outright incorrect, and some of it may not resonate with you.

I have read or listened to any number of books on the concept of consciousness creating reality.  Some have had a greater impact than others, and some have been in a language that resonated more with my own thought process.  Each has value, and each has given me assistance on my chosen paths in different ways.

I only want to caution you in giving all your power to the ideas of another.  When you read something that makes sense to you and speaks to you in whatever manner it does, just check to make sure you are empowering yourself, not passing your empowerment away.  How does what you have read make you think, feel, and want to act?  That will tell you where you are at.

Third – help from random sources.  This is the trickiest to make use of, and this sometimes requires a leap of faith.

How do random sources work?  You put your trust in the universe to give you guidance.  An omen, signs and portents.  For example, you are watching TV, and a commercial for a product that you really could use on your path comes on.  Less obvious, a character on a program makes a statement that resonates with you, and opens a new channel of information.  As you are driving down the highway a billboard inspires you, or the name on a semi-truck somehow answers a question you’ve been asking.  A random phone call from a friend shifts your path as you needed.

Once again, the caution here is to be careful not to disempower yourself.  Pathwalking is about empowering ourselves, choosing where we want to direct our lives and the destiny we want to walk to.

Seeking for help is not a weakness.  Everyone needs assistance from time to time.  Know that you have choices, and you can get what you need to achieve the goals you’ve set along your path.

Where do you turn when you want aid and advice?


GOAL LOG – Week 29:

Diet: I am still eating pretty decently.  The only downside was having a sugary cereal in the house, and not wholly resisting its sweet crunchiness.  Onwards and forwards.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week.  I need to increase my activity, as apart from some walking that was pretty much it.

Writing:  Two days of writing.  Working to ramp this back up, though I’ll be largely off for a week-and-a-half when I go on vacation.

Meditation:  Six days of meditation, at least 4 minutes each day.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 or 6 things to be grateful for six out of seven days.


This is the two-hundred thirty-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 238

My path is good for me, but probably not for you.  As we are not in competition, I would be happy to help you along your path in whatever way I can.

Competition is a fine thing in certain respects.  My baseball team versus your team, track stars running for the best time, fencers fighting to best one another, and for that matter most competitive sports.  Competition in the everyday, for the most part, is unhealthy.

This is not just a straight-up notion, either.  We become competitive on a number of different issues, in a number of different ways that are disempowering.

First there is the obvious.  Competing for jobs, competing for food, competing to be classier, richer, smarter than anyone else.  This is the fruit of lack mentality, of the belief that there is not enough of insert-object-x-here for everyone, so we have to struggle to get it for ourselves.  I would bet that your social media channels are as clogged with this sort of competition as mine are.

Then there is the somewhat less obvious forms of competition.  They got ‘x’, so now I should have ‘x’.  I had to struggle to accomplish ‘y’, how come they didn’t have to work half as hard?  Why do I get paid two-thirds of what he gets paid for the same work?  This is the competition of resentment, of wanting our own slices of the same pie but seeing the pie as finite rather than infinite.

What it all boils down to is the same issue.  We live in a society of lack mentality.  The people whom we place in positions of power, and the media empires bombarding us with so-called news and information, are continuously telling us that we have to get it now before supplies run out! and such.  We see this world as being full of limitations, we see that there is not enough of this, tha,t or the other thing, and we are set-up to struggle to have the things we want.

Why?  Because this disempowers us.  If we are disempowered, they can control us.  Or, at the very least, they can work hard to direct how we think, how we feel and how we might act as such.

Look at the elections in the United States at the moment.  Or for that matter, look at the vote on remaining in the EU or not that happened in Great Britain.  People in power play on our fears, play on the things we are concerned the most about, like jobs and money and security, by telling us how we need to take back what already belongs to us, and that if we do not make or unmake these changes or avoid these people we will have even less.  They present us with a tiny pie and claim this is all there is, and there is certainly not enough to go around.  Grab it, any way you can, and never mind the consequences.  They’ll handle everything for us.

How incredibly disempowering is that?  And yet a stunning number of people believe it to be true.  There just is not enough, we’re all in competition, get out of my way because I WILL get what is mine before you can take it from me!

This is not the truth.  This is the lie that could unravel our entire society if we let it.  We compete where competition is unnecessary because we allow ourselves to be disempowered, and we believe that this is a universe of lack, insufficiency, and exclusion.

The truth is very much the opposite of this.  We live in a universe of more-than-enough, we live in a world of abundance, and we have the power to receive whatever we want.  But we have to start empowering ourselves, and we need to recognize that this is not a competition.

Your path varies from mine because you are experiencing this life differently from how I am.  You want to do things that I do not want to do.  You find fun where I don’t.  You may hold any number of beliefs that vary from mine.  That is ok.

The universe is full to bursting with abundance.  Any lack or deficiency is our own making.  We are not in competition to outdo each other.  We can have all the wealth, love, happiness and even power that we might desire.  To get it, we have to empower ourselves.

What do you want from your life?  What makes you happy?  What makes you feel full?  From the spiritual to the physical, the intangible to the tangible, we have different needs and desires, and there is no need to compete for them.  In an abundant universe they are already out there, waiting for us to take hold of them.

How?  By taking back our own empowerment.  We have to stop going with the masses, stop allowing a very small few tell us how it is or how it should be, and we need to consider what we individually want, and how we might achieve it.  Instead of searching without for the things that will make us feel safe, secure and happy we need to turn within.  We need to recognize that each and every one of us has the power to create the world as we most want it to be, and that doing so does not need to deny anyone else their wants and needs.

Look at the things you think about and talk about during the day.  How often are you focused on the concerns of others instead of your own?  How often do you give away your empowerment to another, to an issue outside of yourself, to concerns and fears and anger?  Are you focusing on things that you can take control of to better your own life, or are you focusing on things you can really do little to nothing about?

Be your own empowerer.  Don’t be concerned so much with the paths of others, and focus instead on your own.  This is how we can change the course of our society, by working from within instead of trying to force change from without.  We are not in competition…unless you care to duel in the fencing lists with me.  We can strive for our hearts’ desires without having to compete to get them.

Are you focused on your own paths, or the paths of others?


GOAL LOG – Week 28:

Diet: I am still eating pretty well, still eating less bread and pasta and the like.  Had some ice cream once last week, and am happy to report I don’t really feel like returning sugar to my diet.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, as did archery one day.  I do need to get back to the gym and to increase my overall exercise.

Writing:  Two days of editing.  Finished what I was working on, but I need to continue to work on writing and editing.

Meditation:  Four days of meditation, at least 6 minutes each day.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 or 6 things to be grateful for every day last week.


This is the two-hundred thirty-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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