The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: decide

How Does Decision Empower?

Decision has not always been my strong suit.

I have been notorious for being indecisive.  Well, maybe occasionally I fail to make decisions.  Or, maybe I agonize over decisions, and consequently choose not to choose anything, or…

DecisionSo there’s that.  Lately, though, I have been working on doing better with making choices and deciding things for my life.

For example, with the move we are making, many things have been discarded.  Do I need this?  If the answer has been no, then away it goes.  Once the move is complete, when I begin to go through boxes that have previously lived in storage, I will most certainly toss out more things.

I have been something of a pack rat most of my life.  However, as I have come to value more esoteric and intangible things, I find much of the stuff I have doesn’t need to remain with me.  So, look at that, I discard what I don’t need.

This has been a part of my decision issues, I also recognize.  How?  By keeping stuff that no longer serves me, I am not deciding to let go of it.  Stuff accumulates, and before I know it I have all this crap I no longer need.

In working on crossing the bridges between my worlds, one decision that was really important to me was using my name on all the different forms of writing I do.  Fiction or non-fiction, Steampunk or Fantasy, blog or other copy, I use MJ Blehart.  For a while I was having a very hard time with bridging the gaps between the worlds I perceive for myself.  I needed to decide if I should create multiple personae, or bridge the gaps with just the one name.

Decision is seldom set in stone.

Because I have often feared the outcome of a given decision, I have chosen not to decide, or to delay a decision, or to otherwise hedge my bets.  However, they would regularly bring me to a crossroads on the paths I was walking, Pathwalking or no, and something would have to give.

My indecision, over the years, has cost me opportunities, jobs, relationships, even friends.  Mind you, I am not saying that with rancor or regret, just a statement of fact.  Everything that happens along the way is a growth opportunity.  My indecision, as much as my decisions, are how I have come to this place in my life.  Overall, even while seeking improvements, I am happy to be in this place with my life.

One of the reasons behind all my indecision has been fear of change.  As I wrote both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, change is inevitable.  Everything changes, and that is the most constant constant in the universe.  Nothing is truly stable or stagnant, change is a given.

Changes can be pretty scary.  I think it’s the human nesting instinct that causes us to be so resistant to change.  We want to curl up in our comfortable nests, and watch the world go by. At least for a while.  But then, oh, this is kind of boring…and we change our way.

Another important thing about decision and change is that very little of what I decide is permanent.  Jobs can be changed, new opportunities can be sought, there are always new people to meet and things to learn.  Just because I decide a certain way today, it does not mean I am trapped in that way forever.  Or very long at all, really.

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

Decision is empowering.

Pathwalking is about choosing a destiny for myself.  I see the world I want to live in, see what I want for myself, so I choose a path that I believe will get me where I want to go.  There are good days and bad days.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what I choose, my decision could be wrong.  But because I have made a choice, and I have decided, I have empowered myself.

To decide is to define choice.  I am doing this.  When I choose in this manner, I am empowering myself, because I am the one living my life.  Nobody else can choose what is best for me, so when I have gone ahead and chosen, I can get to wherever I want to go.

It’s important for me to remember the power of this.  When I am having moments of indecision, I need to better take action, and decide instead of not.

One of the reasons I created Crossing the Bridges was in order to make a specific decision.  As mentioned before, I wanted all of my writing under my single name.  I still struggle with this at times, but I believe that I made the right choices.

Decision can change the world.  I am working to decide on a more regular basis, and choose the life I most desire to lead.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 47:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this still.

 

This is the sixty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Do I Interfere With My Path?

There are always things which will interfere with your chosen path.

Many of these things are beyond our control.  I can’t do anything about current government stupidity, hurricanes, foreign wars, and the overall negative attitude of other people.  Yes, I can write letters to the leadership, support hurricane relief funds, and take other proactive actions.  However, it’s important to recognize that this is limited, and needs to be proactive rather than reactive.

Why proactive?  Because if we are constantly reacting to the world around us, this reflects our subconscious being in control.  Consciousness creates reality, and if we are allowing our subconscious to do the driving, then we’re not taking control as we can.

This is where we get into the other things interfering with your chosen path.  You and me.  We will often do things, say things, think things that are actually contrary to the path we’re walking.  This is generally subconscious, which makes it more challenging to overcome.

I have written before about self-sabotage.  This is when I will prevent myself in some way from achieving a desired goal.  I get in my own way, and interfere with my path.  This will come from my fears of success and failure, and ultimate abandonment.

Even knowing, logically, what this is and where it comes from, it is rather easy to let the subconscious get control.  How does that happen?  Let’s say I am scrolling through Facebook, and I see an article about another terrible thing the government is doing.  This gets me upset, and if I don’t consciously release it, it lingers.  Anger, frustration, and subconsciously I am questioning, why bother?  If it’s all going to hell anyhow, what’s the point?

We allow things to interfere with us.

Before I know it, I find myself in front of the keyboard, and uninspired.  I am frustrated, I can’t focus.  Take a break, find a distraction, and then suddenly my day has flown by.  If I begin to question whether I accomplished what I wanted, and the answer is not what I desire, this may upset me.  If I don’t take hold of that, it can spiral out, and the next thing I know I am angry, questioning my purpose, skills, abilities, and worth…and my path has gotten away from me.

Does this strike a chord for you?  This is one of the largest forms of interference in our paths.  Rather than being kind and forgiving to ourselves, we are hyper-critical, self-doubting, and feel as if there is no worth in the path – or worse, no worth in ourselves.

As Admiral Ackbar would say, “It’s a trap!”  Getting stuck in your own head, subconsciously, can be detrimental to your path.  If we allow our subconscious to drive the bus, we cede our control, and interfere with the path we wish to walk.

Consciousness Creates Reality.  This is why it’s so important to be aware of our world.  When we don’t take an active role in being open and aware of the world around us, we inadvertently allow our subconscious to run the show.  Over time, this can cause us a great deal of distress, and will get in the way of any given day, let alone a desired path.

Yes, outside influences can effect this, but only if we let them.  Whether it’s personal, such as a loved one pissing you off; or societal, such as American politics, this can create negativity which the subconscious uses as fuel.

We can control our subconscious.

What it all comes down to is the majority of that which interferes with us is on ourselves.  We control how angry, upset, and how long we hold onto negativity.  When we believe things are bad, and that we are unworthy subconsciously, we interfere with manifesting our desires.

How do we deal with this?  First and foremost, we need to work on our awareness.  Yes, this is going to be somewhat challenging, but the more we do this, the easier it will become.  We tend to be all go go go, and thus seldom pause to analyze.  Many of us tend to be even less conscientious of this when it comes to ourselves.

I have mentioned previously the value in asking questions of ourselves.  How am I feeling?  What am I thinking?  What am I doing?  All of these simple questions of ourselves bring us to the here-and-now, and ultimately tap into our awareness.  When we are aware, we become more capable of seeing and dealing with any interference in our paths.

One of the problems with this is taking the time to actually ask these questions of ourselves.  Isn’t it amazing how quickly a day can just slip on by?  You’re working on things, or trying to work on things, and before you know it, the day is through.  Yet if we take a few moments, maybe once every two hours, to ask these quick questions, we can better be aware, and consciously create desired realities.

Is it really that simple?  I believe that it is.  Trouble is, in the interest of deep thought we humans seem to love adding unnecessary complexities.

There are things that interfere we will have to deal with.

Sometimes things happen that will interfere with your path, totally out of your control, that you won’t be able to just use awareness to rid yourself of.  Car accidents, a nasty headcold, getting fired from a job, dumped by a relationship, someone’s death, and the like happen.  They cannot be denied, and they can have unexpected consequences which might alter your chosen path.

How much any such thing interferes with life can still be your choice.  Recovering from injury and illness will take time, but attitude can help.  Modern medicine is incredible in many ways, but having a good attitude and keeping positive rather than negative can assist in healing.  Also, if you are feeling bad, do you really want to do anything that makes you feel worse?

When we are aware of our feelings, and we take the time to be conscious, we can manifest amazing things.  Any interference can be dealt with, when we take hold of it and choose to do so.  This can often be a challenge, but I believe that this can also lead to new and incredible realities which will make us feel good.  Let’s not let ourselves interfere with ourselves.

Do you recognize when you interfere with yourself?

 

This is the three-hundred-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

What Do I Choose?

What I choose is what is best for me.

Nobody but me can choose what I want for my life.  Why?  Because there is nobody else inside my head.

People question people’s life choices all the time.  I don’t know if it’s a schadenfreude thing, or a judgement thing, or something else.  We talk about it all the time, and we frequently discuss how we might have chosen differently, or comment about disagreeing with choices that have been made.

It’s important to recognize that nobody can choose for us.  Period, end of story.  I am the only one who can recognize what’s best for me, and I have to live with the choices I make, and don’t make.

Why do we frequently question other people’s choices?  I think sometimes it’s a matter of self-reflection.  Other times, it simply feels easier to look at what other people choose, and comment on it, rather than examine our own choices.

Many people are terrible at choosing and deciding about their lives.  I am certainly guilty of this myself.  Going back over my life, there were numerous times I decided not to decide, or didn’t make a choice because I feared the outcome.

What have I been afraid of?  Ultimately, I feared being abandoned, shunned, and rejected by almost everyone.  I feared success and failure equally, because I thought either would leave me forsaken by everyone.

I am still struggling with this.  While I strive to put on a confident exterior, inside I still fight the demons of my fears.  While I could put the blame on my combat with depression, that feels like a cop-out.  I have chosen to walk my own path, and though others might question this, I still believe in it.

Choose for you.

Deciding is something that can be scary.  Why?  Because when we analyze any given choice, it’s possible to see multiple angles and various outcomes.  To decide literally means in the Latin it originates from “to cut off.” A decision cuts off many, if not all alternatives, and directs you in one way.  In especial when there is more than one choice, knowing if you made the right decision becomes a concern.

Maybe that’s why we question the choices other people make.  Perhaps we’ve made a similar choice and got an unsavory outcome.  It’s possible that we had a similar choice, and in our own analysis of it saw no good coming of it.  Or maybe we had that choice, did not make it, and regret that.

Our society strives to undo that which we dislike.  Again, while I hate to get political, let’s look at Congress.  Rather than fix the Affordable Care Act in a reasonable way, they keep trying to undo it.  Instead of taking forward steps, they are going backwards.  Sadly, tons of progress made in the past decade is being undone all because of spite on the part of petty politics.

Anyhow, this is indicative of the state of our society.  We want to undo what we dislike, rather than do something different.  The Universe does not undo.

Consciousness Creates Reality.  I cannot stress this fact enough.  We might focus on undoing a thing, but the Universe doesn’t recognize this.  I don’t want x or we need to undo y the Universe translates as give me more of x and y.  Ever notice how when you focus on something you really do not want, you seem to get an abundance of it?  That is conscious reality creation.

Choose what you want to manifest.

You are the only one who can choose what is best for you.  Yes, it is almost habitual to comment on the choices other people make, but we can’t change anyone else’s choices.  The only person’s choices we effect are our own.

I know that there are people who do not understand what I want to do with my life.  Frankly, sometimes I get concerned about what I am choosing.  But I know that I am better off making choices and deciding on things for myself than just letting life live me.

I have never taken easy paths, but I have been so afraid of being rejected that I have frequently abandoned them.  Didn’t make use of my theatre degree, did not pursue a career in radio, never became a teacher.  After a long time, I have decided that I am a writer, and I will make my living doing that.

This is not an easy choice.  Working on my own requires me to be better at self-discipline, and making the optimum use of my time.  I would prefer not to return to the corporate world, because life is too short to spend most of my day somewhere sucking my soul dry.  Certainly if I can find the right environment in this respect, that is an option, however.

Because I alone can choose for me, it is up to me to take necessary actions to manifest the life I want.  I believe we live in an abundant universe.  As such, there is more than enough of everything I want to consciously create.  I am not taking anything from anyone else in doing this, and I am worthy.

Choose fearlessness.

FDR said “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  When I allow my fear of failure, fear of success, and ultimate fear of rejection to overwhelm reason, it is imperative I keep this in mind.  Our fear response is necessary when it comes to the tangible.  That’s how we avoid getting eaten by lions and mauled by bulls.  But the intangible is immaterial, and is not a fear to concern ourselves with.

I am the only one who can choose what is right for me.  Only I can decide to allow intangible fears to get in the way of my choices.  It would do us all well to keep that in mind, the next time we question a choice either made by ourselves or made by another, for whatever reason.  We can all work together to be better than we are.

What do you choose for your paths?

 

This is the three-hundred-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Joy Empowers Us

Living in joy is the ultimate goal.

I don’t want to spend my time at a desk, working for someone I might not entirely respect, doing something that bores me.  Life is just too short for that.  Rather, I want to do something that makes me happy.

Have you ever been told that “You have to work for a living” or “you gotta do what you gotta do” or “you have to make ends meet” or similar?  Likely, I suspect you have.  How come we so readily accept that work should be joyless and soul-crushing?

Crossing the Bridges 51Think about it.  Even if you are not working at something that isn’t ideal, how many people do you know that do?  How many friends and loved ones complain more about where they work than not?

How come we accept this?  Why have we decided that it’s perfectly ok to spend the majority of our waking hours being unhappy?

Yes, we can argue about “responsibility” and “being an adult” and on and on.  But consider this: we are only in these bodies, on this planet, for about a century – give or take a decade or two.  While our essence is energy, and will not be destroyed when we pass away, in these meat-popsicles our time is finite.

Not only is our society fear-based, but it’s also lack-minded.  We are inundated with messages that there is not enough, that we have insufficient supplies, that things are lacking.  This in turn leads some to hoard all kinds of things, and deny others because of this mentality.

Joy is a matter of abundance.

The universe is abundant.  Despite our being constantly told that it’s not, it actually is.  We are capable of manifesting pretty damned amazing things, when we get out of our lack mindset.

This is something I have been working on for some time.  I tend to get caught up in the lack mentality, and because of this I have spent a great deal of my life indecisive.  I couldn’t decide what I actually wanted, so frequently made no choice at all.  In my possession are many old journals, where entries from my thirties are all about being down, lacking satisfaction and joy and so on.

For years, I would tell you that my theme song was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.  This applied to my home, job, relationships, spiritual state, financial state, yadayadayada.  I complained a lot,  questioned everything, and felt very alone.

What changed?  I started to take action.  As I have mentioned many times, Pathwalking was borne of a New Year’s Action, to begin to write weekly.  From there, I began to take on this idea of conscious reality creation and making choices.  Lo and behold, I started to experience changes I wanted to see.

I got into a stable relationship.  There was a job I mostly enjoyed.  The SCA continued to provide me with an outstanding social outlet.  I was writing, and began to see works published.  I began to truly pursue my joy.

How come I didn’t do this sooner?  In part, because I believed when I was told “writers don’t make much money” and “you can’t make a decent living as a writer” and similar.  Most of these statements were made to me not maliciously, but “for my own good” and to help me make choices along the way.

Joy is too important to ignore.

We tend to give our pursuit of happiness and joy a lot less attention than we should.  We have accepted the narrative of our society that happiness and joy come in small doses.  While I acknowledge that it’s impossible to live in joy all the time, I still want to experience it more frequently than its negative opposites.

I know that I have to earn a living, that I need to contribute to society in a productive manner, and always strive to do my best.  What I do not accept is that I should spend most of that time discontent.  Must I accept that the majority of my day should be spent doing something that is unsatisfying, and leaves me unable to experience much joy?  I say no.

You can go ahead and call me irresponsible.  I accept that society largely will think I am crazy for working on conscious reality creation to manifest a joyful life.  But when all is said and done, the ultimate goal I believe everyone is in pursuit of is joy.

Changing the lack mentality and fear-based society we live in can feel really daunting.  This is why it starts with each and every one of us.  When I stop feeding the lack and fear machines, and instead empower the abundance and contentment engines, I believe I can help empower others.  It is not selfish to seek abundance and joy for ourselves when we act on sharing it.

Abundance for joy.

I am working on taking a new approach to my day.  When I start to feel like I am lacking, I will actively work on focusing on abundance.  I will use gratitude for the things I have, and see the abundances of my life.  Even the little, easy to take for granted things are a matter of abundance.  Rather than focus on things I don’t have, I will work on focusing on gratitude for the things I have.

Viewing the world as abundant instead of lacking is something we can all do to change it.  We can’t ignore the problems of the world, but instead of lamenting them, we can work on making our own individual lives abundant and joyful.  I think this is totally a worthwhile goal, don’t you?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 36:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, writing it out again.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, one day at the gym, one energetic hike.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; a couple days of writing in the sci-fi story.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things a day, over 5 days.

 

This is the fifty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Does Self-Doubt Impact You?

Self-doubt and indecision will complicate Pathwalking.

I strive to be less doubtful about who I am, and to do better with making decisions about my life.  Pathwalking is about choosing for myself, rather than letting random chance just happen.

Yet I still question if I am deserving of this.  I doubt myself, my abilities to do the things I want to do.  This in turn can make me indecisive, and I get stuck in uncertainty.

Self-doubt comes from many places.  Perceived failures, discipline or lack thereof, wrong choices, disproven beliefs, mistakes, miscommunication, and a lack of outside validation.  It is unfortunately easy to blame those outside forces for causing self-doubt, but this is totally an inside job.

If I am doubting myself, then it’s all on me.  The only person inside my head is me.  Nobody else can think for me, unless I give up my free will and let them.

As if that’s not enough of a complication, focusing on the things that I am doubting about myself draws more things.  The self-talk in my head is too negative, and as such not very productive.  I berate myself, see my flaws, get upset with mistakes and missteps and perceived failures too easily.

This complicates Pathwalking, because I get focused on things I don’t want for myself, and then of course that will create more of those.  I get more doubtful, and then get frustrated when I am unproductive, and become distracted because I can’t focus.

Self-doubt is a liar.

This is a hard truth to accept.  Your self-doubt is a lie.  It is that nagging voice in your head telling you that you are unacceptable.  This is the voice saying you are worthless.  It’s the brain weasels running around aimlessly, probably giving you a headache.

When we believe the worst of ourselves, we don’t feel terribly good.  This is where depression is born, and the lying black wolf will make us indecisive about all kinds of things.  You start to question decisions, ideas, plans and goals when you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt may be a wholly internal matter, however its cause can be rooted in outside forces and influences.  When you do not receive validation, whatever form that may take, it can be disheartening.  If you are not recognized for your skills and contributions, you may begin to question your value and worth.

This gets even more complicated when the outside forces are loved ones.  If your own family makes you question your value and worth, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.  When your friends tell you things “for your own good” that might upset you, this too can make you doubtful.  That’s particularly rough when they are questioning your choices, and causing you to question them in turn.

Self-doubt can lead to indecision.

When you doubt yourself, you start to doubt your choices.  You begin to wonder if you are making good choices, or bad choices.  As such, this can lead you to either not make a choice, or to be particularly indecisive.

I have spent a great deal of my life in indecision.  Rather than choose wrong, I either didn’t choose at all, or hmmmed and hawed until I either had no choices remaining, or only one choice available.  I didn’t choose to pursue professional radio after college because I doubted I would be able to build a similar life to that which I had in Podunk, Middle America.  No pursuit of a professional theatre career was every truly initiated by me, because there is huge amounts of uncertainty when it comes to theatre and success.  I didn’t put my focus into turning my writing into a career in my twenties because I listened to those who said that it didn’t pay.

The indecision of my twenties and thirties was fueled by my self-doubt, and unsurprisingly my self-doubt was fueled by my indecision.  Because I spent nearly two decades constantly doubting myself and being indecisive, I did not find financial, career, or relationship successes.  I came to believe that I was a failure, and that I didn’t deserve to succeed because of my mistakes along the way.

I began to believe my own doubts were true.  Maybe I was a failure, maybe I was unworthy of respect.  How could I turn this around and change the dialogue?

Turn self-doubt into self-worth.

I have begun to see now that I am a worthwhile individual.  I contribute to the world around me, helping friends and family and even strangers when I can.  There is worth in what I do, and rather than get hung up on long-term and overarching success, I need to see success in the small things in life.

Often this is still easier said than done.  I am currently striking out on my own to find freelance writing jobs and take my existing work to the next level.  With my desire to be a bestselling author, I am working on finding ways to increase sales of my work, and get myself out there.

Now I have the opportunity to live what I have been writing about for almost six years.  Pathwalking is choosing my own destiny, making choices and deciding to have the life I most want.

Self-doubt is a saboteur.  I know that some days I am going to feel like I am not able to do this, and that I lack the discipline.  I allow those who mean well but say upsetting things to get inside my head; negative news well outside my control impacts my thoughts.  This needs to be acknowledged because it is there, and unavoidable.  But, once I have done that, I need to them proceed to let it go.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.  I need to be bold, make decisions, and not let my self-doubt interfere with the paths I am walking.

What do you do when faced with self-doubt and indecision?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What do I want from my Reality?

What do I want?

I have been asking this question of myself for most of my adult life.  It is both the single most basic question I can ask, as well as massively loaded.  This is a question that can be rooted in the past, awareness in the present, or looking to the future, which complicates things further.

One of the more complex issues I encounter with this question has long been its opposite.  I was less sure of what I DID want, than of what I DIDN’T want.  While that can be useful, it can also be distracting.  In many ways it becomes the ultimate procrastination.

I spent my twenties indecisively.  I went from relationship to relationship and job to job, always seeking the greener grasses.  While getting hit by that car shifted my thinking in many ways, I proceeded to spend my thirties in nearly the same indecision.  Relationships came and went, jobs came and went, and I never made a decisive choice about anything.

Now, in my forties, I am deciding my life.  I have begun to work with consciously creating my reality.  This has required me to undo a lot of long-held beliefs that no longer serve me, which in turn slows the process, sometimes seemingly to a crawl.

I have decided.

I have been posting to this blog at least weekly for over five-and-a-half years.  Twice weekly for almost three-and-a-half years.  Thrice weekly for forty weeks now.  This was the result of me deciding to do something.  It was one of the first solid, unquestioned decisions I made after decades of indecisions.

Now, in my forties, I have come to realize the importance of decision.  Rather than hmm and haw and deliberate endlessly, I am working with deciding.  This is not always easy, as I have spent most of my adult life afraid that the wrong decision would make me unhappy, so more often than not I decided not to decide at all.

One of the pitfalls of this realization for me is a vague sense of regret.  How much of my time did I waste on my lack of decisions?  However, the other side of the same coin is recognizing all that I learned from my previous, indecisive ways.

Now that I know how powerful working with decision is, I am forgiving myself for my past missteps and non-steps, and working more in the here-and-now on being who I want to be.

Present reality is a product of the past.

This concept is very hard for me to wrap my head around.  Yet every single self-help and spiritual book I have read or listened to espouses this same idea.  The life I have, right now, is the result of decisions made and not made in my past.  Because consciousness creates reality, decision is a product of conscious choice.  When I decide, I am the one responsible for the reality I am creating.

Knowing this, and not being entirely satisfied with my current reality, I am working on making more conscious decisions to create better.  I can take better care of my body and mind; I can do work that makes me happy rather than saps my energy; I can focus on abundance to bring more good into my life, and the lives of those I care about.

I am completely aware of this.  I know how this works.  Knowing what I want and making decisions in the here-and-now will build the life I most desire.  Yet I still struggle with indecision, and not letting outside influences upset me.

World news can be distressing.  The American political landscape is thoroughly upsetting.  Friends are struggling with all kinds of different issues.  Awareness of these things is important, so long as I don’t let them interfere with my decision making process.  The only life I can directly influence and effect is my own.  The only reality I can consciously create is mine.

Knowing what I want is just a step across the bridge.

Change is scary.  The unknown can be unsettling.  Stepping out of my comfort zone has always been particularly challenging, but I have done it before successfully.  I went to college halfway across the country all on my own, and restarted my life.  After college I moved to New Jersey, again restarting my life.  I completely recovered from serious injuries without ever considering any alternative.  So what is holding me back now?

Me.  I am holding me back.  I know what I want, but not how to make it happen.  Yet everything I know about conscious reality creation, every book I have read or listened to tells me the same thing.  To move out of my comfort zone I have to get uncomfortable.  I need to decide to get clear of my limiting beliefs, to take the necessary steps and go for it.

The how is not my concern.  It is the decisions that need to be made.  I need to let go of the uncertainty, the fear, the doubt, the indecision.  The time to decide is now.  I am not my past, and unless I work in the present I will not attain my desired future.  Nothing is holding me back, except of course for me.

What do I want?

I want to be decisive.  I want to live in the now.  I want to consciously create the reality that will have me waking up every morning with a sense of excitement for the day ahead.  I want to straighten my back, square my shoulders, and take steps across the bridges, head held high and confident.  I know what I want.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 26:

Diet:  Overall I have been good on my food intake, though slightly less so when in Knoxville last weekend.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, one lap around the small lake three different days, four laps around the small lake one day, and a trip to the gym.  Exercised four solid days last week.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done.

Meditation:  Four of seven days last week, never less than 7 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on four days last week.

 

This is the fortieth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment, even if you have done so before, to subscribe to my blog!

Why “To Decide” is Very Important to Crossing the Bridges of Life

If I don’t bother to decide, I leave my fate up to my subconscious.

Sure, I could blame outside influences or circumstances or what-have-you.  But the truth is that when I don’t make conscious decisions, my subconscious is driving the bus.

This can be a particularly complicated concept to grasp.  Probably the biggest reason why is because we live in a society that lacks accountability.

Our government is the perfect example of this fact.  At almost every level, nobody takes responsibility for their actions.  The blame gets tossed about and analyzed, but actual accountability is nil.  Because we see this on so many levels of our reality, we generally go with the flow and tend to also lack accountability.

That’s the first part.  The second is recognizing that we create our own reality.  Consciousness creates reality.  But when I do not consciously decide for myself, subconsciousness creates my reality.

I still find this concept difficult to grasp.  Yet I know that it’s the truth of the way the Universe functions.  Nobody but me can think what and how I think.  I alone feel what I feel, even when I allow outside influences to affect my feelings.  Only I can act on things I decide, or don’t, to do.  That being said, the reality in which I live now, for good or bad, is of my own making.

To decide is to take control.

A great deal of the issues I have with my current reality are products of past thought, feeling and action.  Every thought that you seat deeply enough into your psyche and put feeling behind has the power to create.  Even when you cease to attend to that thought/feeling, if it’s rooted deeply, it gets acted upon.  If you do not consciously create reality, you still create reality subconsciously.

Ever notice when you expect something to be terrible, and start visualizing it, you’re seldom disappointed?  You didn’t consciously want to create that – but you subconsciously DID.  And so you have.

When you work on being aware and in the here and now, you empower yourself.  You gain control of your decision.  Awareness of conscious creation makes for creating better realities.

As I am working on improving my reality, this is hugely important.

Don’t let your subconscious decide.

I want to choose my life.  I don’t want to let my subconscious and limiting thoughts do it.  Yet most of my life, that’s how it has been.  While I have created some pretty amazing stuff in my life, I know I am capable of manifesting even better.

That’s why I want to consciously create my reality.  I am walking the path of my own choosing.  I am crossing these bridges I am creating between the paths in my life.  If I choose to do so consciously, I gain the power to build amazing things.

I have done this before, more than once.  Yet I allow myself to cede control of my emotions to the media, or in reaction to outside influence too readily.  When I do that, I let my subconscious feelings mix with subconscious thoughts, and I create mediocrity where I want to manifest greatness for myself.

Decide to be aware.

This is the key.  I need to be aware of my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions.  I know that this comes down to decision.  I need to decide that this is my life.  I need to decide what to do. I need to decide what to keep, what to change, and what to act on.  Frequently, not occasionally.  As my current reading material points out, this is a muscle.  Like any muscle, you have to exercise it to make it stronger.

I know I can live in a better reality than this one.  I also know that I need to be grateful for this reality.  My life is good.  This is not me complaining about it.  Good, however, is not all I want.  I want great.  I want to be happier.  I want to enjoy how I spend my days more than I do now.  Life is too short to live halfway.  I want to live bigger.  I am capable of that, and I know it.  The key is conscious reality creation.

I ask myself questions several times a day to heighten my awareness.  Yet because most of my weekday hours are in a place that numbs me, I am still struggling.  I have to change this.  I need to decide to change this.  That’s the first step.

Decide to overcome the fear.

Deciding is scary.  I worry that if I decide wrong I will invite failure.  But the truth, and I know this, is that doing something and failing beats doing nothing and failing.  Make a decision.  Think, feel, act.  DECIDE.  Conscious reality creation is powerful, but I am the only one who can manifest for myself.

More decision.  More actions.  I know I can do this.  Let’s see what I do with this.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 25:

Diet:  Overall I have been good on my food intake.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, one lap around the small lake three different days, a walk with my friend and her dog, AND three days at the gym!

Writing:  The three blog posts were done.

Meditation:  Every day last week, never less than 6 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things every day last week.

 

This is the thirty-ninth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

What Will be the Rewards and Consequences of my Decisions?

Conscious reality creation takes place in the now.

We cannot undo the past, and as Yoda says, “Always in motion is the future.”  The only part of reality we truly control is the present.

This week has marked several changes on my part.  All of them involved decisions.  One was in regards to changing this blog for its growth, one will close a long-standing issue I’ve spent more than half-a-decade trying to resolve.  In both instances I had to make a choice, to decide to take an action, each with consequences both real and perceived.

As I was writing Pathwalking this week, I had a moment where a lightbulb went off in my head.  Yes, I long ago recognized that I am the most successful at sabotaging myself, but this is not a matter of sabotage, but of perception.  That matter of perception is a large part of the why behind my not yet manifesting the reality I desire.

To reiterate that point, I constantly feel like I am on the cusp of creating what I want, on the verge of consciously creating my desired reality…and because I keep it just ahead of me, just about to happen, it never manages to actually happen.  So close…but not yet here.

Consciously creating reality requires being aware and present in the here-and-now.  When I am aware, I am able to think what I want, to feel what it will feel like, and take the necessary actions and make the decisions to do it.

Changes and decisions made.

I spent more money than I was comfortable spending shifting this blog from being hosted with the limitations of wordpress dot com to a new host and using the tools of wordpress dot org.  I spent even a bit more because I set-up the ability to move more of my domains to WordPress, so that I can make them better and more powerful, too.  The consequences of that choice were both tangible and intangible.  The former being the money spent is spent, the intangible being the concern of losing what I had already created.  I am pleased to note that, thus far, that does not appear to be the case here.

I took steps to resolve a long-standing matter both personal and financial.  An investment I am no longer benefitting from has been hanging over my head for some time.  The investment is not mine alone, it is shared with family.  We have had different priorities in regards to this, and it’s been the cause of some strife for several years.  The other party has taken action to resolve this, and while I requested specific remuneration, they disagreed.  I disagreed with their reasoning, but rather than draw this out even further, I chose to accept what was offered and move ahead.  The consequences of this choice were both tangible and intangible.  The former being getting less than I feel I should be, the intangible being lost respect between myself and the other party.  This is not yet complete, but I expect no further issues in finally getting resolution.

In both instances there were choices to make.  Though they are vastly different matters, they are the same in being steps forward versus remaining in the comfort zone I am existing in.  Both involved being in the now, and accepting the consequences, good or bad, of my actions.

Being present to manifest.

The point has been driven home this week multiple times how important it is for me to be in the present.  I can only work in the here-and-now to consciously create my reality, and that will only be accomplished when I take my choices and make decisions for action.

I need to stop viewing the manifestation of the reality I desire as being just slightly ahead of me, on the cusp of actually BEING.  I need to see it NOW, here and present and happening.  Last week I discussed the power of I AM in crossing the bridges, but this is exactly that.  By thinking, feeling and saying, “I am on the cusp of making this happen!” I am leaving the reality I want to live in just ahead of myself.  There it us, just out of my grasp, almost, nearly visible through the haze.  So.  Close.

I need to decide that “I am manifesting my reality.”  In the present, in the here-and-now, I am creating the reality I want and manifesting the life I believe I am capable of having.  This is a decision no different from the others I have made this week, albeit composed of more intangibles.

I need to choose to think in the here and now, “I am consciously creating my reality.  I am doing it.  It is manifesting all around me, right here, right now.”  The consequences of this choice are both tangible and intangible.  The former is getting to do what I really want to be doing with my life and truly practicing what I write about.  The latter is the concern that the people I care about will think I am off my rocker, that they will abandon me and I will fail.

I think this is a decision I will ultimately be happy with.  I know that, here and now, I am.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 24:

Diet:  Overall I have been good on my food intake.

Exercise:  Fencing three days, one to four laps around the small lake three different days.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on my modern alchemist story one day.

Meditation:  Every day last week, never less than 5 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things every day last week.

 

This is the thirty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What do you do when the path gets scary?

Walking along the path of your choosing can sometimes be scary.

This is frequently because in choosing your own path in life, you will incur both internal and external criticism.  The internal is the result from when you step out of your comfort zone; the external is the reaction you get from those around you as you break from the accepted norm.

Pathwalking is about choice.  It is about consciously creating our own reality, and seeking out our own destiny.  This type of choice is something many people decide not to make, and because it’s not the tried and true, it’s going to cause some disconcerting and possibly negative feelings.

In Into the Woods, one of Stephen Sondheim’s lyric goes, “Though it’s fearful, though it’s deep, though it’s dark and though you may lose the path, though you may encounter wolves, you can’t just act, you have to listen. You can’t just act, you have to think. “

This is quintessential to Pathwalking.  When you encounter that fearful, dark bit along the path you can’t just take action.  There has to be thought.  You have to pay attention to what is happening, and feel what the outcome is going to be.  You have to decide if what you are feeling is a warning for your protection…or rather, if it’s a reaction to breaking from your comfort zone.

Fear of the unknown.

Recently, walking my own path, I came across a situation.  A choice.  I moved this blog from the nice, comfortable host it was with to a new host, where I can take it to a whole new level, and do far, far more in the way of customizing and optimizing it.  I have been taking an online course, and reached a point where it was suggested I create content that required the more advanced hosting option.

This presented me with two concerns.  The first, in changing things over I might lose what I already have created and worked so hard with for the last five-and-a-half years.  The second was a somewhat substantial (to me) financial outlay.

To grow, this change was absolutely necessary.  I had spent a couple weeks researching this shift, figuring out the best host and the best deal, researching creating options to make changes to some of my other domains down-the-line, and investigating how to maintain the existing content.  I lamented about it, checked, rechecked, and checked out all the options again.  I hesitated.  I debated.

Did I want to truly walk the path of my choosing?  Was I ready to make this change?  Was I in the right place to go ahead and do something different?

Take a leap of faith.

I went ahead and took the steps I knew were necessary for this.  I realized that my fear was not a warning that I was in some form of danger, it was the familiar expressing fear of the unknown.  It was my comfort zone reacting to perceived discomfort.  It was the me I was fighting the me I am, and the me I want to be.

Who we are, in the here-and-now, is a result of our thoughts, feelings and actions of the past.  Really.   This is why thinking about, feeling out, and then taking intentional actions in the present is so powerful.  We cannot undo the past; if we see what we want as the future, it will remain in the future.

That is the concept I find hardest to grasp.  I constantly feel like I am on the cusp of creating what I want, on the verge of consciously creating my desired reality…and because I keep it just ahead of me, just about to happen, it never manages to actually happen.  So close…but not yet there.  Or rather…not yet here.

This time I recognized the fear for what it was.  It was the self-sabotaging reaction to change.  I took a deep breath, and I ignored it and made the change.  You may have noticed the blog looks a bit different today, as such.   This is just the beginning!

Disempower the fear.

When you reach one of those scary moments along your path, you are the only one who can feel or not feel the fear.  Nobody else is in your head but you, so you are the only one who can make the choices about what you want your reality to look like.

In this instance, you can’t ignore and neglect the fear, you have to look at it, get to know it.  Only by acknowledging it can you determine if this fear is truly present to protect you from harm, or if this fear is a reaction to change, and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

It’s actually easy to tell the difference between real fear and perceived fear, which is what I’m writing about here.  Real fear is certain knowledge that there is danger.  It’s generally tangible, like being an antelope on the Serengeti surrounded by lions. A real intangible fear will feel the same, a clear and present, immediate danger.

Perceived fear is not in the present.  How can you tell?  It is usually attached to the words What If?  What if I choose this and I fail?  What if I succeed?  What if I get it wrong?  What if I get it right?  When you recognize this, you will see that it’s about fearing change.  Because it is an intangible, and not an immediate danger, you get to choose to disempower the fear, and move forward past it.

Walking along the path of your choosing can sometimes be scary.  But when you are consciously creating your reality, you are manifesting a life that is exciting, fulfilling, and full of endless potential.

What have you done when you encountered scary moments upon your path?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

 

Pathwalking 250

Decide to decide.

I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have found myself at some crossroads or other because I refused to decide to decide.

Decision making is only challenging if you choose for it to be so.

For a lot of my life, I was the King of Indecision.  I totally should have bought myself a crown.

When I made the decision to take action for the New Year, nearly five years ago now, it wasn’t just lip service or a soft, easily neglected resolution.  I chose an action, and I took it.  I made a plan, I spelled it out, and I acted upon it.

Creating and maintaining Pathwalking has been one of the best things I have ever done for my life.  I continue to share my journey because, despite bumps and twists and turns and changes of direction along the way, I continue to learn and grow and find more happiness in the life I want to live.

When I was younger, I tended to fear that if I made the wrong decision, I would regret it.  What if I chose to commit to her, and someone better comes along?  What if I move here, but I get a job offer there?  What if I take this job, when I should have taken that job?  And so on and so forth.

As such, I frequently chose not to decide.  I would hmmmm and haw for a while, and then either make no clear decision at all, or wait until the decision was somehow made for me.

I know there are people in this life who do well letting others decide for them.  Or simply going with the flow and not having to choose between many different things.  If you can have and be happy in that sort of life, more power to you.

Because I decided on more than one occasion not to decide, I sometimes have wondered just what I missed out on.  No regrets, per se, just considering the things I could have done but didn’t because I made no choice or didn’t reach a clear decision.

The thing of it is, by-and-large, no decision is permanent.  No decision is so utterly cast in the soul of the universe it cannot be changed.  Of course there are exceptions to this rule.  When you decided to leap off a cliff you can’t reverse the dive.  But apart from that, most decisions, even after they are made, can be altered.

Why does it matter if you decide to decide?  Because no path that is chosen will be tread upon if you don’t decide to traverse it.  I can think about, research, and map out numerous paths for myself.  But until I decide to decide upon a path, it’s nothing more than an idea, and there is no action.

This was why I decided to make New Year’s Actions rather than resolutions.  Resolving is an idea, but acting is a powerful decision.  I can resolve to lose thirty pounds of excess weight all I want.  Until I alter my diet and change my exercise routine or an act combining these plans, all it can be is an idea without purchase.

When we take action, we have generally reached a decision.  We have decided that this thing will happen, and so we act to make it so.

Manifestation, I am frequently pointing out, comes from a combination of thought, feeling and action.  If all I do is think about something but don’t feel it out and act upon it, I go nowhere.  Even if I think about it and feel it out, without action, I am still probably going nowhere.  When I act upon my thoughts and feelings, a decision has been made, and manifestation will be the end result.

It never occurred to me before that decision and action really are one.  Thinking about losing weight then feeling what it will be like to be lighter are all well and good, but until I have decided to take action to make this happen, I will remain exactly where I already am.

I still oftentimes neglect to make a decision.  I still will look at my options, and waffle between whatever they are, rather than acting upon them and deciding.  Recognizing this tendency in myself, and wanting to effect change in my life, I will consider that when next I might be feeling indecisive about a thing.

We all can choose paths for ourselves.  We all have nearly infinite choices of paths for our lives.  The thing is, we need to decide that we want to walk them for ourselves, rather than allow others to choose for us.

It’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes I will decide wrong.  First, this is perfectly normal.  We all make bad decisions.  The key is that I am deciding.

Even when the decision is wrong, action has been taken.  Now I have the opportunity for a new action, a new decision is made, and I move on.

Life changes.  We change.  That is how nature runs its course.  The thing is, we can decided if we want to curl up in a ball, wish everything remained as it was and await death; or we can just let it happen around us, and not choose for ourselves but just see where the current takes us; or we can grab the wheel and steer this life where and how we want it.

Sometimes not deciding is still a decision…just not a terribly solid one.

Think.  Feel.  Act.  In action, there is decision.  Decision is the difference between choosing and not choosing the lives we most desire to lead.

What decisions do you need to make that you might not be?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 40:

Diet:  Still going well.

Exercise: Fencing happened three days last week, and I got to the gym twice.

Writing:  One day of writing, plus the three blogs

Meditation:  I meditated four days, for a minimum of at least 6 minutes.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for five of seven days last week.

 

This is the two-hundred fiftieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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