The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: Crossing the Bridges (Page 1 of 6)

What Am I Thinking?

I am always thinking.  But then, really, who isn’t?

Our entire reality as we perceive it is based on thought.  We see this life in our own, individual ways, which differ as they do because of our thinking.

ThinkingWhile it’s true that at our core, we are all energy, and thus all the same, as I have been writing about this week both in Positivity and Pathwalking, how we think defines our individuality.  Not simply what we think, but how we think.  And this is the single most variable thing between me, you, those people, and the often referenced “them” and “they.”

It’s not just a matter of the what of our thoughts.  That’s complicated enough as it is.  HOW we think, the manner in which we begin our thought process, is dramatically different.

Take clouds for example.  I might look up in the sky, see a triangular cloud, and think, oooo, Star Destroyer.  You might see the same cloud and think, cool, racing horse and rider.  Another person might see race car raising dust behind it.  Someone is going to see it and think, huh, cumulous. Same cloud, completely different perspectives on it.

This is where the difference between conscious and subconscious thought comes into play.  When we are more aware in the here-and-now, we become conscious.  Once we are conscious, we are more aware, and being aware we can take control of our thinking.

The subconscious also is built on thought.  In some respects it’s easier to let the subconscious do the driving.  Unfortunately, when we do, often we will find dissatisfaction in where we are, because we didn’t do all we could to control that.

Is conscious thinking harder to do than subconscious thought?

Simple answer – no.  More complex answer, and given my deep and abiding love for all things Star Wars, let’s borrow a quote from Yoda.  It was about the Dark Side, but it also could be applied to subconscious thinking.  Luke asks, “Is the dark side stronger?”  Yoda replies, “No.  Quicker.  Easier.  More seductive.”  Subconscious thought is just like that.  More seductive, simply because it is easier to just fall into the pattern and routine of the subconscious.

We do more subconsciously than consciously.  Breathing, blinking, swallowing, etc.  Thinking also happens subconsciously, because we are always thinking.  Conscious reality creation is a matter of choosing how we think.

I am at an interesting place in my life right now.  I know what I want to be doing.  Crossing the bridges between the worlds I live in and the worlds I create is important to me.  I am aware of my own tendencies to self-sabotage, get in my own way, and let completely intangible fears derail me.

When I was almost five years old, Star Wars came out.  Yes, I know it’s now referred to as Episode IV – A New Hope – but it was and probably always will be The Original Star Wars for me.  There are a lot of missing memories from my childhood, but I remember watching that Corellian Corvette flying past, pursued by a Star Destroyer, lasers blazing back and forth.  I was instantly hooked.

To some degree, Star Wars inspired me to become a writer.  I spent a lot of hours creating my own adventures for the heroes of the Rebellion in my backyard with my action figures.  From there, I began to create my own original stories, and my love of science fiction and fantasy blossomed.

I am always thinking of new story ideas.

There is a near-constant stream of characters, starships, swords, sorcery and ideas careening through my thoughts.  When I went on my first hike through Sedona, I took pictures of rock formations that instantly sent my brain to fantasy worlds or far-away planets.  One of the things I most love about a good hike in general is discovering unusual landscapes to inspire me.

With the completion of my recent move, I uncovered my old journals.  I started keeping a paper journal in 1992.  There are eight books full of my thoughts.  Some are pretty interesting, and some are just reflections of my struggles with depression.  Physical journaling gave way to LiveJournal, some of which I began to share, some of which was kept private.  Then I created this blog, and almost six years ago began weekly posts with the creation of Pathwalking.

While to some degree I write these things for my own edification, I also share them because I know I am not the only one thinking in these ways.  The how of our thought processes are different, of course.  Many of the actual thoughts are dissimilar…but if you are seeking to be more empowered, and to consciously create reality, then we’re going in similar directions.

It is all too easy to get discouraged.  Let’s face it, these are chaotic, surreal, frequently distressing times we live in.  Yet on the other side, there is unbelievable possibility.  We are capable of manifesting incredible things.  To do so, we have to be aware of how we are thinking.

We can control only our own thinking.

The single most important thing to remember about the idea of thought is that we can only control our own thinking.  We cannot think for anyone else.  We can tell people how to think, but they will only do so by their own choice.

So why bother sharing my thought processes with you?  I am striving to empower myself to manifest a better reality.  My belief that Consciousness Creates Reality is strong, and how I am thinking is constantly testing it.  I share because I know I am not alone with these challenges, testing my steps.  Maybe in sharing the journey, I can help you on yours.

We are always thinking.  Consciously or subconsciously.  If Consciousness Creates Reality, then we need to be more aware of how and what we are thinking.  Conscious thinking gives us more control, and with control we can manifest almost anything.  That’s what I am striving for.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

This is the sixty-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Am I Manifesting?

Manifesting frequently happens subconsciously.  This is why being present and aware in the here-and-now is so very important.

I know that on more than one occasion, I manifested what I wanted without giving it much thought.  Sometimes this was a thing I desired, other times not-so-much.  What I can tell you is that conscious reality creation is the most ideal form of manifestation.

ManifestingWhen I was younger, I was pretty high-strung.  I was frequently tense, subconsciously anxious, often unsure of myself.  What I wanted from life was a mystery.  Part of that was because who I wanted to be was an unknown, too.

It was at the end of college that I began to understand the concept that we are all energy.  Everyone and everything at its most base root is energy.  Energy produces vibration, and vibrations have frequencies.  All the energy in the universe vibrates at frequencies all across the spectrum.

The Law of Attraction posits simply that like attracts like.  Energetically, a like frequency attracts a like frequency to itself.  Hence, manifesting when consciousness creates reality.

If you are logical and scientifically minded, this may seem like just a new-agey notion with spurious scientific backing at best.  While I am a tremendous supporter of the sciences, I still believe there are inexplicable aspects of our reality, beyond the scope of science.

Let me make one thing about my personal beliefs clear.  Any higher-power, if there is such, doesn’t just make things happen.  Good and evil are human constructs, despite what religions postulate.  People gain the most when we are empowered, and our empowerment derives from the self.  Empowerment comes from within, not from other people, leaders, or some God/Goddess or such.  When we empower ourselves, we become capable of manifesting all sorts of possibilities.

Manifesting happens, consciously or subconsciously.

As I strive to be more aware of myself and the world around me, I am frequently astounded by how many people make no effort in this area.  I mean, really, how can so many people support liars, cheaters and outright scum if they are at all aware of the world around them, and themselves?  Because the subconscious is doing the work, they’re reaching a given frequency aligning with a portion of the collective consciousness.

Everyone needs a break from time to time, to escape from responsibilities and stressors and the like.  While remaining aware of the here-and-now can seem exhausting, it beats being a victim of circumstance.  Because that’s what letting your subconscious manifest your reality tends to get you.

Manifestation of reality can be epic or microscopic.  For example, in my life I’ve created both wanted and unwanted realities.  When I am conscious I tend to manifest what I want.  Yet when my subconscious is driving, it’s much iffier.

For example, I knew my last employment was going to end.  The writing was on the wall.  Sure, it got dragged out for several months, but it wasn’t a surprise that it came to an end.

Had I chosen to take conscious actions in regards to that job, likely I could have made it stick.  I could have kept it, probably even improved it.  But I chose not to.  I kept in the back of my mind that the job was going to be lost, and because subconsciousness creates reality as much as consciousness does, I ceased to be employed there.

That job didn’t make me happy.  Overall, wasn’t all that fond of the people I was working with and for.  I could have consciously chosen to leave, or I could have chosen to fix it.  I chose neither.

Am I manifesting what I want for my life?

This is a work in progress.  Last week I wrote all about change, because we moved to a new home.  With this change I have a real home-office space to work from.  I have a much better set-up to create and write and edit with fewer distractions.

Yes, I have some concerns about my ability to succeed at this.  Do I have sufficient discipline to make the most of my time?  Will I take advantage of this space to be more creative and prolific as a writer?  Am I capable of manifesting more than enough money to pay bills and live with the abundance I desire?  Will I actually get caught up with my daily reading, resume meditating regularly, and catch up with my online coursework?

Nobody has the answers but me.  I am empowered to be successful on whatever level I choose to measure success.

That, by the way, is as true for me as it is for you.  Manifesting reality is arguably our greatest gift as human beings.  The other animals on this planet follow their instincts to survive, while we can build amazing tools to not just survive, but thrive.  It is not just the purview of the “great minds” or inventors of the world – every single one of us has conscious reality creation ability.

I think I can manifest the life I want to have.  I need to believe it, feel it as if it’s already done.  Then, with intentional actions, I will be manifesting the amazing life I know I can have.

Thought, feeling, action.  Awareness of the here-and-now.  I have the tools.  Now it’s time to use them.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 48:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  It may be done for the time being.

 

This is the sixty-third entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How Does Decision Empower?

Decision has not always been my strong suit.

I have been notorious for being indecisive.  Well, maybe occasionally I fail to make decisions.  Or, maybe I agonize over decisions, and consequently choose not to choose anything, or…

DecisionSo there’s that.  Lately, though, I have been working on doing better with making choices and deciding things for my life.

For example, with the move we are making, many things have been discarded.  Do I need this?  If the answer has been no, then away it goes.  Once the move is complete, when I begin to go through boxes that have previously lived in storage, I will most certainly toss out more things.

I have been something of a pack rat most of my life.  However, as I have come to value more esoteric and intangible things, I find much of the stuff I have doesn’t need to remain with me.  So, look at that, I discard what I don’t need.

This has been a part of my decision issues, I also recognize.  How?  By keeping stuff that no longer serves me, I am not deciding to let go of it.  Stuff accumulates, and before I know it I have all this crap I no longer need.

In working on crossing the bridges between my worlds, one decision that was really important to me was using my name on all the different forms of writing I do.  Fiction or non-fiction, Steampunk or Fantasy, blog or other copy, I use MJ Blehart.  For a while I was having a very hard time with bridging the gaps between the worlds I perceive for myself.  I needed to decide if I should create multiple personae, or bridge the gaps with just the one name.

Decision is seldom set in stone.

Because I have often feared the outcome of a given decision, I have chosen not to decide, or to delay a decision, or to otherwise hedge my bets.  However, they would regularly bring me to a crossroads on the paths I was walking, Pathwalking or no, and something would have to give.

My indecision, over the years, has cost me opportunities, jobs, relationships, even friends.  Mind you, I am not saying that with rancor or regret, just a statement of fact.  Everything that happens along the way is a growth opportunity.  My indecision, as much as my decisions, are how I have come to this place in my life.  Overall, even while seeking improvements, I am happy to be in this place with my life.

One of the reasons behind all my indecision has been fear of change.  As I wrote both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, change is inevitable.  Everything changes, and that is the most constant constant in the universe.  Nothing is truly stable or stagnant, change is a given.

Changes can be pretty scary.  I think it’s the human nesting instinct that causes us to be so resistant to change.  We want to curl up in our comfortable nests, and watch the world go by. At least for a while.  But then, oh, this is kind of boring…and we change our way.

Another important thing about decision and change is that very little of what I decide is permanent.  Jobs can be changed, new opportunities can be sought, there are always new people to meet and things to learn.  Just because I decide a certain way today, it does not mean I am trapped in that way forever.  Or very long at all, really.

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

Decision is empowering.

Pathwalking is about choosing a destiny for myself.  I see the world I want to live in, see what I want for myself, so I choose a path that I believe will get me where I want to go.  There are good days and bad days.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what I choose, my decision could be wrong.  But because I have made a choice, and I have decided, I have empowered myself.

To decide is to define choice.  I am doing this.  When I choose in this manner, I am empowering myself, because I am the one living my life.  Nobody else can choose what is best for me, so when I have gone ahead and chosen, I can get to wherever I want to go.

It’s important for me to remember the power of this.  When I am having moments of indecision, I need to better take action, and decide instead of not.

One of the reasons I created Crossing the Bridges was in order to make a specific decision.  As mentioned before, I wanted all of my writing under my single name.  I still struggle with this at times, but I believe that I made the right choices.

Decision can change the world.  I am working to decide on a more regular basis, and choose the life I most desire to lead.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 47:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this still.

 

This is the sixty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Do I Express All My Appreciation?

I am not sure I can fully express just how much appreciation I have for each and every one of you who follows my journey.

When I began The Ramblings of the Titanium Don, I had no real direction, and just randomly posted from time to time.  Almost six years ago I started Pathwalking, and with that developed some direction.  Now this entire blog has a purpose, and it is my hope that you’ll stick with me as I explore it.

AppreciationI have spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out who I am.  Identity has always been an interesting challenge for me.  As a small child, I remember spending a tremendous amount of my time alone.  I am not blaming anyone for this, and probably because I was alone I developed the imagination I possess.  With my imagination, I turned that to writing.  My first completed work of sci-fi, Wildfire, was 50 pages and illustrated when I was 9 years old.

When I was a teenager, and finally began to develop a group of friends, I shunted parts of my true self in order to be accepted.  I saw the interactions between everyone, and altered how I acted in order to belong.  Over the years I would lose myself in striving to find acceptance amongst people. As such, my identity got clouded and somewhat confused.

After the accident that caused me to be partially made of titanium, I received an outpouring of support from my friends and loved ones.  The appreciation I have for those who supported me at that time is immeasurable.  After that life-changing event, however, I truly began to explore my identity.  I started to seek out my genuine self in ways I’d never done before.

Self-appreciation is important.

I saw a lot of pieces of myself in this time that I was not so fond of.  There were things I did that were fairly douchey, selfish, and unfair to many people.  Check out The Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office if you want to see just what I am talking about.  Over the next decade-and-a-half I began to seek my true-identity out, and to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

There were many paths I took in order to get to know myself.  I went into therapy (certainly not for the first time) and made use of anti-depressants like Prozac.  There was Zen study, meditation and I did active journaling.  I worked to come to grips with both my good and bad qualities.  Rather than place blame, I worked to take responsibility for all the ways in which I was messed-up.  I have tremendous appreciation for the therapist I was seeing at the time, and the friendships I developed.

For a long time I have had no appreciation for myself.  Frankly, I have often been really critical of who I am.  I criticize my weight, my odd job history, my many failed relationships, my temper, my impatience, and all the rest of my faults.  Focus on my faults of course would depress me, and depression is a miserable feeling.

I began to see that it was of greater import to me to be happy.  Nearly everything I do with my life is part of an effort to find happiness and joy.  With that realization I began to put more effort into knowing my self-identity, and finding new ways to improve my self-appreciation.

Appreciation appreciates.

This is why gratitude is so key to conscious reality creation.  When I have stopped focusing on my faults and imperfections, and instead worked on appreciating my good qualities, my life improved immensely.  I developed the most stable relationships I’ve ever had, solidified friendships, held some good jobs, and have been writing more frequently.

One of the main issues I have had over the years has been insufficient gratitude for the things I have in my life.  I love the people in my life, whether my friends and/or family.  I want to share my appreciation for you all.  As I work on conscious reality creation, I am extremely grateful to have you along for this ride with me.

Crossing the bridges between my worlds lets me have the life I most want to have.  I want to lead a life of joy.  Yes, there are some pretty awful things happening in the world today, but I won’t allow them to overcome my thoughts and feelings.

Feeling grateful for all the people and things I have in my life will generate more positivity,.  This allows for more things to express appreciation for to be brought forth.  I have made this work before, and I know that I can make it work again.

It is important to not get hung up on the things I can’t do anything about.  I need to say thank you, focus on the good things I have, material or immaterial.  I need to seek out more good things.  Doing this will allow for conscious reality creation, and that is important to living the life I most desire to live.

My appreciation for you is a part of this.

I thank you for joining my on this crazy trip.  I hope that by coming along with me on this ride, your own journey across the bridges of your life is a more joyous event.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 46:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this going forward.

 

This is the sixty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

How Does Being Aware Take Me Across The Bridges?

For me, being aware of my mindset, mindful of what I am thinking and feeling, is the key to creating what I truly desire from this life.

Conscious reality creation is the ultimate gift humankind has.  The other animals on this planet, no matter how intelligent they may be, don’t have the same capacity to create as we do.  We are the only animals that can build tools to allow us to travel anywhere across the globe, infinitely expand our knowledge base, and live in any environment.

AwareTo create anything at all, I have to begin with thought.  I have to think of an idea, and bring it into existence.  This applies to characters and worlds for my writing; a job I envision working; relationships with friends and lovers; ideas to make life better.

Great or small, thoughts are the starting point of everything.  I have had some pretty cool thoughts and ideas, but if I did not go to the next steps, they never got past this first point.

This is where I usually face the greatest challenge.  Feeling.  To consciously create reality, you cannot just think of a thing, you have to feel it.  I have been struggling with feeling for most of my life.

Let me get really personal here.  I was a smart, sensitive kid.  Didn’t know it back then, but as an empath I was good at feeling the feelings of others.  Due to things that happened in my youth, mostly around my parents’ divorce (and for the record, I am NOT blaming my parents here) I went into therapy.  Because this was the early 1980’s, there were no drugs like Prozac and such.  It was a difficult time, and I was hurting.  Some thirty years later, I learned that I had shut down.

I was aware of feelings, but not feeling them.

Logically, I reasoned out what these emotions were supposed to feel like.  I shared that with my therapists, and they thought I was adjusting.  For the most part, I was.  But…my ability to truly feel emotions was less developed than anybody realized until much later.

In my thirties, I found the best therapist I have ever had.  Together, we realized what I had done, and started the process of repairing it.  With that work, I became more aware of my emotions.  For the first time in my life, I was truly mindful of both thoughts and feelings.

Important tangent here.  I know a lot of people who have had traumas both emotional and physical, greater and less than my experiences.  In this week’s Pathwalking I wrote about accountability.  Thing is, while I could blame any number of people and factors for the issues I had in regards to emotions, I recognize that ultimately I did this to myself.  Blame could not fix it.  So I made a choice to acknowledge and then repair the damage, rather than get angry or depressed about it.

Once I became aware of the issues I had regarding emotions, I did the work to learn how to truly feel them.  It was in this process that I began to truly understand the idea of conscious reality creation.  I saw how I had healed from my accident faster and more completely than expected, because my thoughts and feelings wholly supported, expected, and worked towards that outcome.

Still, this has been an ongoing struggle for me.  Because the emotions I have recognized and expressed the longest are negative ones, like depression, anger, jealousy, and other fears, when I am not mindful and fully aware, guess where my subconscious goes?

Being aware will take me across all the bridges.

Because I am an empath, I feel the emotions of other people around me.  Due to spending probably too much time on social media, I get inundated with a whole lot of negativity.  Our fear-based society is being pushed around in new and horrifying ways.  Those in power are hiding their selfish agendas less and less, yet still enjoying control over a huge swath of the collective consciousness.

I am working to better recognize when I allow my subconscious to drive the bus.  I set myself up in my Pathwalking post to regularly ask at least two questions about my mindset, so that I am better aware of what I am thinking and feeling.

When my thoughts and feelings are aligned, taking intentional actions to manifest what I am desiring is virtually effortless.  When I allow doubts, or the negativity of the collective consciousness to get between my thoughts and feelings, I am like an inverted bicycle.  You can pedal the wheel round and round as much as you like, but you are not going to get anywhere at all.

I challenged myself to ask at least two of these questions several times a day.  What am I thinking?  What am I feeling?  How am I feeling?  Where is my mind?  What am I thinking about?  What am I focused on?  I know that when I ask these questions, I become aware of the here-and-now, and allow my conscious self to take the wheel.

One additional challenge with this that I tend to get down on myself when I do not live up to my own standards.

I need to be more aware of how I think about myself.

For most of my life I have chewed my fingernails off.  Trust me, I know this is a terrible habit.  For a while, I mostly stopped.  There they were, fingernails, and I actually needed to clip them like a normal person from time to time.  Recently, I have found myself chewing them off again.  If I do not make a conscious effort to restrain myself, when I am bored or nervous or frustrated I find myself removing a fingernail with my teeth.

It does not matter how aware of this, or any other emotion I am.  What matters is what I do with that knowledge.  Do I stop from biting my nails?  Will I acknowledge the negative feeling, and do something to change it?  Am I going to get mad at myself for not doing this, that or the other thing, or will I make the necessary change?  Being aware is only the beginning.  What I do with that mindfulness is the difference between manifesting the life I want, or never quite going to the places I desire to be.

I am aware.

What will I do with this awareness?  Stay tuned.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 45:

Diet:  I was very conscious of what I was consuming, but not so good about writing it down.

Exercise:  Fenced once, did a bunch of walking.  Need to up this game.

Writing:  Three blog posts, and some other writing work.

Meditation: I really need to resume this.  One day this week, about 8 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude again.

 

This is the sixtieth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

Why Create Reality?

I love to create.

I began to write fiction when I was nine.  Even with some breaks here and there along the way, I have continued to create characters, worlds, and stories to tell about them.

Why Create Reality?Then, about six years ago, I began to post to this blog weekly.  Pathwalking on Wednesdays was the starting point.  Two years later, I added Positivity every Monday.  Just over a year ago, these posts called Crossing the Bridges came into being.

All three of these posts cover different things.  Pathwalking is my personal philosophy for living the best life I can.  Through Pathwalking, I discuss striving to choose the life I desire most, and consciously create reality as I most want to see it manifest.

Positivity was in reaction to an abundance of negative posts to social media.  With everyone feeling down on a Monday morning, I wanted to post something upbeat to change the collective consciousness towards something better, and positive.

Crossing the Bridges came into being as sort of a self-check-in.  I view my life to some degree as existing on these separate islands.  One is the real world, trying to earn money in a desirable fashion to cover living expenses and more.  The next is the fantasy world I spend most of my weekends in, running around the Kingdom of the East and fencing, heralding, and hanging out with friends.  Then there is my creative worlds, the writing I want to spread further and sell more of.

An online course I took about six months ago changed how I view this blog overall.  Instead of three individual posts that are unrelated, now they are part of the greater package.  The Ramblings of the Titanium Don took on a new direction, a blog exploring aspects of working on consciously creating reality.

There is always more to create.

I am exploring new creations all the time.  Whether I am composing a blog post, writing my sci-fi novel, or even working on a resume or other business copy, I enjoy the creative process.  When I get to create, I am enormously alert, aware, and content with the life I have.

Even when I struggle with a topic for one of the three weekly posts, the process of getting to create something still keeps it worthwhile.  I am making something new, and sharing it with you.  The positivity, joy, and wonder in that is rather awesome.

All three posts this week have been focused on the main orientation of the blog.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  I believe this.

Consciousness can also be defined as awareness, recognition, or even realization.

Create stands on its own, but could also be interpreted to mean to build, discover, or even establish.

Reality is the trickiest.  Yet without going into a philosophical debate about it, reality can be defined as existence, actuality, or even tangibility.

Why do these redefinitions matter?  If consciousness creates reality, then that means awareness discovers tangibility; recognition establishes existence; realization builds actuality.  We can even rearrange them to fit in any way.  Awareness establishes actuality.

When we are conscious of the thoughts, feelings and actions we take, we can create, build or establish a tangible reality.  This is manifestation of dreams into reality.  It is from this we can have virtually anything we want.

If this is so simple, how come everyone isn’t doing it?  Because we live in fear-based, lack-mentality society.  We are frequently told there is not enough to go around.  Then the greedy hoarders constantly paraded before us add to the negativity, causing us to second-guess if we can have the things we want, and remain a good person.

It takes effort to create.

We are a society of easy.  It has to be fast.  Instant gratification is barely fast enough.  Consciously creating reality can be quick, but seldom instantaneous.  Taking thought, putting feeling behind it, then intentional action requires some processing.  Thus, in order to manifest reality, we have to expend some effort.

This can cause any number of frustrations for people.  When we don’t see the results quickly enough, we get frustrated, and our power to manifest weakens with our resolve.  To consciously create reality, we have to believe it, completely, and know without doubt that it is come to pass.

It is hard to believe that right now we have what we desire.  In especial when, in the current illusion of our reality, we don’t.  Conscious reality creation works best when we presuppose the desired outcome is in the now.  See it as ahead, not quite there yet, it tends to stay ahead and not quite there.  A further challenge to the process.

I have made this work.  When the outcome was the only reality that could be, I achieved the goal intended.  I healed, got the girl, got the car, etcetera.  If I can apply my love to create things to the reality I most desire, I will be capable of crossing any bridge I encounter.

Consciousness creates reality.  I know this to be true.  Anything I want to create is mine for the making.  It’s up to me to use this and manifest the life I most desire to live.

Let’s see what I do next.

As always, thanking you for crossing the bridges between the worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 44:

Diet:  I resumed mostly tracking my food intake this week, and was more conscious of it.

Exercise:  Fenced twice, did a bunch of walking.

Writing:  Three blog posts, and some other writing work.

Meditation: Three days this week, never less than 5 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude again.

 

This is the fifty-ninth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Why Don’t I Understand?

There will always be things I just don’t understand.

Some are emotional.  I know people who feel certain ways about certain things that I simply cannot fathom.  No judgements, this is just a statement of fact.

Understand - Crossing the Bridges 58Some are logical.  Some judgement here, given notions like flat-earthers and racists and misogynists and the like.  I just don’t understand how logic and reason can go out the window for easily disproven beliefs.

For a long time I have said that life is about learning new things.  There is always something new to be learned, and mysteries to understand.  Things happen that need to be explored, good and bad, in order to be dealt with, understood, and in some instances prevented from recurring.

Despite this, there are things that I know I just won’t understand.  I can apply all the logic and reason I know, and it still won’t make any sense to me.  Yet because of my empathic nature, I not only want to understand it, but in some cases I want to fix it.

You think the earth is flat?  Let me show you all the reasons why this is untrue.  Do you believe that women are somehow inferior to men?  I want to help you to see how this is not the case.  Think trickle-down economics will work?  Allow me to find you the forty years worth of evidence that this is not so.

Because I don’t understand how people believe these things, I want to help them understand that they need to open themselves up to more reason and logic.  Unfortunately, a closed mind, or a resolved mindset cannot be dissuaded, forced open, or changed without a desire for change.

When I don’t understand, and want to fix that, I have to recognize that I can’t.

Why don’t you understand?

Asking this question can only effect one single person.  Me.  I am the only one who can answer this.  Why?  Because the only person who’s mind I can actually change is my own.  It’s imperative that I recognize that when I don’t understand someone or something else, I cannot change THEM, I can only change me.

I’m going to get really personal here a moment.  My wife’s family has a wholly different dynamic from my own.  It is so different, in fact, that in many respects it feels actually alien to me.  The way they care for one another, how they react to crisis, and how they relate to one another frequently makes no sense to me.

I try to understand this.  Because this is an emotional issue, and I might have a few issues of my own when it comes to emotions, this is often almost incomprehensible to me.  The hows and whys of their dynamic is completely different from anything I have experienced before.

Don’t misunderstand me, I love my in-laws.  Because my own family has a whole lot of different dynamics on all these levels, the way they are is wildly different from what I already know.

This is a key to understanding.  Our experiences throughout our lives are going to color how we perceive the world.  I was raised Jewish in the suburbs of Minneapolis, and my parents divorced when I was five.  My family is small, each parent has a single sibling, and they are not all that close.

My wife was raised Catholic in New Jersey, and her parents have been together for over forty years.  Her family is humungous, one parent has I think five siblings, and her family is very close.  Almost the polar opposite of what I know.

Understanding grows from experience.

The thing to realize is that I simple won’t ever fully understand some things.  That’s the nature of the world.  There are over seven billion people on this planet, speaking hundreds of different languages, coming from countless family dynamics, each with unique knowledge, experience, and their own understandings.

When we recognize this, we can do better with knowing what we understand.  Why?  Because we learn that there are things we just won’t understand.  Further, recognizing that you can’t necessarily make someone else understand what you do, you have more to work with.

As I work on crossing the bridges between my worlds, it occurs to me that the number of worlds I visualize for my life are pretty numerous.  Some of the worlds, those of my own creation, I completely understand.  Others, though, in particular those I share with other people, I will probably never completely get.

One of the most important things to recognize about this notion is that we all understand different things.  We cannot force anyone else to understand what we do.  Even when we are dealing with logical and reasonable matters, our differences will color what we define as logic and reason.

I believe that the more I understand about myself, the more I can help people gain their own understanding via my example.  When I consciously create reality, walk my own path, and manifest the life I desire, in my example I can help others do the same.

There are always new worlds around me.  I can build and cross bridges between them, even when I don’t understand everything about them.  Yes, it can be frustrating sometimes.  Yet, rather than see it negatively, we can see it as a challenge.  This can be a growth opportunity.  It’s a matter of what you understand.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 43:

Diet:  I have not been keeping track yet again this week.

Exercise:  Fenced twice, but that was it.  Knee injury is still lessening my exercise more than I should let it.

Writing:  Three blog posts, and some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only a couple days this week.  I have to improve on that.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude again.

This is the fifty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Who Are My People?

I love my people.

Who are my people?  My people are the ones who I turn to for support, whom I look to for guidance, and whom I share a great many commonalities.

Crossing the Bridges 57I have found the majority of my people in the SCA.  Twenty-six years in the Society for Creative Anachronism has introduced me to a lot of people who are as into history and fantasy as I am.  My geeky tribe, frequently of fellow misfits.

Yes, I was one of those dorky/geeky kids in High School who existed either in the choir room, on or behind the stage, never amongst the popular kids.  I played no sports, my friends and I played Dungeons and Dragons.  I didn’t drink alcohol, but I consumed an ungodly amount of Mt. Dew.  My letter jacket was for letters earned in choir and theatre.

In college, when I moved halfway across the country, I made a good circle of equally geeky friends.  I also discovered the SCA, but didn’t truly dive in until I had graduated.  But when I did, I found my people.

I have previously written about the difference between persons and people.  While today I am referring to my people, they are my persons.  They are not the random world population that can often be incredibly frustrating.  My people, however, might not be your people.  By the same token, your people might not be my people.

This harkens to my favorite George Carlin routine about stuff.  Your stuff is stuff while other people’s stuff is shit, and vice versa.

Our people are like our stuff.  While we might have ever increasing circles of people, not all meet the same criteria.

Variations of my people.

There are several thoughts I have on how I categorize my people.  There are those I am closest to.  These are the people I want to spend the most time with, and whom I share the most about myself with.  We have connections on a lot of different levels, and I would move mountains for these people.

Then there are the people whom I consider friends, but am not as close to.  There is still a great deal of myself I share with these people, and I care about them as well.  Our connections are likely fewer than those I am closest to, but I would still take a great many actions for these people.

After that, there are the people whom I may not know as well, but share a commonality with me.  Some are SCAdians like me, and we have the hobby we participate in in common.  We may only be friends on social media, or we may only encounter one another at events from time to time, but we do not really know each other well.  These are still my people, overall, though while there are actions I will take for them, they are fewer.

Along the same line are the writers I know.  I am a part of several different writing communities online.  Because we all strive in the craft and arte of writing, we have something pretty amazing in common.  We share ideas and tricks and standards for our writing on a large number of different topics.  Mostly we only know each other online.  Yet these are my people, overall, and there are things I will do to be of help to them.

Why do all these people matter?

As I work on crossing the bridges between the worlds I perceive, some real, some imagined, recognizing that my people are rather numerous can be a huge source of hope.

Hope matters, particularly in the face of a lot of what is going on in the world around us.  So much negativity, so many terrible things of varying degrees, it’s really easy to lose hope.  Why bother?  Will any of it matter if any of these possible worst case scenarios before us come to pass?

Yes.  All of it matters.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  As such, if we allow ourselves to be drawn down into the negativity happening in the world, guess what we create more of?  But if we have hope, and we have our people, and we can rely on our people in different ways, we can strive to manifest better.

This is why I love my people.  You keep me going when I look at the negativity of the world, and I cannot tell you just how much I appreciate that.  You are a source of strength, and I thank you for that.

Keep this in mind whenever you start feeling like it’s pointless.  There IS still hope for a better world.  We have our people, and while we cannot directly change how anybody feels, we can effect the sensitivity, and we can work to create better.

My people are circles around me, ever increasing in distance, but still counted among my people.  Where my people and your people might overlap, we have an opportunity to change the conversation with a greater circle.  When we can see this, we can see that hope is a good thing, and we can create almost anything we can imagine.

Appreciate all your people.

Gratitude is a major source of positivity.  When we are grateful for people and things, we tend to discover more to be grateful for.  Gratitude feels good.

These bridges I want to cross may be for me alone, but I never truly cross them on my own.  That may be totally cheesy, but that doesn’t make it any less true.  Thank you for taking the journey with you.  Thank you for being my people.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 42:

Diet:  I have not been keeping track again this week.

Exercise:  Fenced twice, one day with a bunch of walking, but that was it.  Knee injury is still lessening my exercise.

Writing:  Four blog posts, and a lot of work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only two days last week, for 5 and 6 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude again.

 

This is the fifty-seventh entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Is This Writer’s Block?

Not sure if I am dealing with writer’s block, or just simply having issues creating a topic today.

Writer’s block can take on many different forms.  Sometimes it’s just a lack of ideas.  Other times a lack of inspiration.  From time to time, it’s a lack of motivation.  Certainly it can be a combination of all of the above, too.

Writer's block?For me, there are times I just get distracted.  Might be a useful distraction, or it might be nothing but a plain, unadorned, pointless distraction.  Whatever the case, it’s important that I recognize when this is happening, and take steps to get away from it.  Letting myself be overcome by distraction is a form of self-sabotage.

Occasionally it’s a matter of self-doubt that is blocking me.  When it’s the blog, for example, I wonder if anybody cares about what I put here?  Does any of this matter to anybody, myself included?  Am I just spinning my metaphoric wheels and not gaining anything from this?

It never ceases to amaze me how one question leads to the next which in turn leads to the next.  There are always more questions than answers.  Of course, that’s life.  When we have no questions, we have nothing to learn, and learning is how we grow.  Learning is how we gain new knowledge, and new tools to let us consciously create reality and manifest our dreams.

Another factor in being blocked is outside influences.  If I feel as though I am doing little to nothing to help the greater good, that can be ultimately disheartening.  In our current social climate, that’s a real challenge.

Like any emotion, how long I let myself be blocked is entirely up to me.

I can break my block.

Like any emotion I can feel, I alone can choose how long to let my block sit with me.  Do I want to lament being blocked and moan about it and let it fester?  Or do I acknowledge it, and try to work out of it somehow?

Life is about choices.  I have chosen to walk my own path in this life, and cross the bridges between the different worlds I perceive that I live in.  I decide how to deal with my block, and like any other feeling I can choose to move away from it.

Guess where this particular post is coming from?  I have spent hours trying to come up with a topic, but nothing has hit.  I haven’t done any other writing or editing today, because I am feeling blocked.  Well, one of the best ways to break a block is to write.  Stream-of-conscious writing may be raw, and not something I would necessarily share, but it will in time break me from my block.

It’s akin to running in place or jumping jacks or any other exercise you do to get your heart pumping.  Banging out words on the keyboard is a mental exercise, and will stimulate the brain and clear out blockage.  It may be just a single step in the process, but it’s better than wallowing in self-pity over being blocked.

Other options for overcoming a block include meditation, some form of exercise to literally get the blood flowing, or maybe grabbing something to eat or drink, because sometimes that’s the problem.  Any combination of these options might also be the answer.

A writing block is something you feel.

It’s imperative to acknowledge that blocked is a feeling.  It feels a lot like frustration, annoyance, disappointment, distress, and even anger all combined to various degrees.  It can feel like guilt, too, because often being blocked is completely nonsensical.  There is often no why, it just is.

Hence why breaking a block is like taking control of and changing a feeling.  Because that’s precisely what it is.  If I feel blocked, I have to take steps to break the block.

I have more than one project in the works currently.  The sci-fi epic I’m really enjoying working on continues apace.  I need to continue to work on Guardians, and I need to return to the edits on Harbinger.  There is my modern alchemist story I started that I should continue.  I blog 3-4 times a week, and it never hurts to get ahead.  There are ideas in my head for some other new short stories I should begin to work on.

There is something new I’m doing to further my goals.  I am joining a group and taking some courses online to help me define myself better as a writer, and as a business.  There are several bits of literature I have downloaded as companions to this, and reading them can help break my block.

I think I have gotten past this now.  I am excited about the possibilities before me, and I think I have new means to create stronger bridges to cross between my worlds.

No room for doubt, I have work to do.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 41:

Diet:  I have not been keeping track this week.

Exercise:  Fenced twice, but that was it.  Knee injury is now identified, and I have let it sideline me a bunch this week.

Writing:  Three blog posts, some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only two days last week, for 8 and 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude.  I have to get back to this.

 

This is the fifty-sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

Am I Being Proactive?

You may have noticed that by-and-large I only post positive, proactive thoughts.

Part of the reason why I choose this is because I feel horridly inundated by negativity.  There are so many things happening in the world right now that are upsetting.  Sometimes it is really hard to stay focused on creating good, because it feels increasingly futile.

Crossing the Bridges 55I began writing Positivity on Mondays to combat frequent negative messages at the start of the work week.  This has been really useful both for myself and others.  Pathwalking always takes a positive spin on the world, because the primary reason I choose to walk my own path is to create good in my life.

Consciousness creates reality.  So, when I continue to get angry over what the dumbass-in-chief does, or the inaction of Congress, or people denying science, logic and reason, is it any surprise I keep finding more?  Is it at all shocking that my motivation slips away?

I am frustrated.  This sinking feeling I often get as I browse Facebook and other social media is not useful.  Of course, the more attention and energy that I give to being concerned over where the world is heading distracts me from what I can control.

This is a systemic problem.  I know I am not the only one who, in the interest of staying in the know, winds up overwhelmed.  There are people I care about who are going to be, if they are no already, effected by a lot of these awful things.

What good does working on being proactive and positive do in the face of this insanity?

Proactive and positive are a force for good.

Because we manifest what we focus on with conscious reality creation, we have a choice.  I get to decide if I want to contribute to the feelings of anger, futility and hopelessness I am inundated with…or if I want to try to change the message.

This is not easy.  Maintaining my motivation to be proactive and positive is challenging.

I have mentioned before that I have long battled depression.  With the current state of the world as it is, and my empathic sensibilities, it’s been difficult.  I read and listen to a LOT of various self-help, motivational and similar works to build up my strength and fight off depression.

Because I have been working extra hard to combat depression, I am having trouble taking advantage of the opportunity right in front of me.  All my writing about conscious reality creation, and here I am in the midst of the perfect opportunity to make it go…and I am finding it difficult to be motivated to do so.

I recognize that there are steps I can take to work with this.  I just need to motivate myself to take them.

A friend recently asked me if I re-read my own work.  Truth is, once I have written and posted to the blog, I seldom go back to it.  I am great at offering insight into conscious reality creation, but not so good about going back and heeding my own advice.

I can write about actions I will take all day.  Motivating to take them, though, is another thing.

Proactive means taking the initiative.

Posting to the blog became a regular thing when I took an action on New Year’s rather than make a resolution.  I didn’t resolve to do something, I did something.  Action was taken.  I made a conscious choice to do, not to try.

Yoda said it best.  “Do or Do Not, there IS no try!”   I need to take ahold of my emotional state, follow my own words and be responsible for my own feelings.  It is time to take the initiative, stop letting myself be inundated by the negativity, and create the reality I want.

How?  Well, first, I need to spend less time online.  I already stopped visiting Twitter regularly because I didn’t need that volume of unnecessary and upsetting information.  The time has come to do the same to Facebook.  Keep messenger active so I can communicate with my friends, but close Facebook itself most of the time.

Second – I need to go back and reread what I have written.  I know that my writing impacts others.  That being the case, it’s really proactive of me to see if what I write can serve its primary purpose and impact ME.  This isn’t a selfish matter at all…it is an acknowledgment of the multi-purposefulness of what I write here.

Third – I need to stop getting down on myself when I get distracted, get upset over matters beyond my control that are happening, and so on.  I need to forgive myself for not living up to my own expectations of myself.  When I am feeling unmotivated, I need to allow myself a moment to feel it, but then I need to use an attitude shifter or another tool to be proactive and better consciously create reality.

Being proactive is empowering.

Finally, I must keep at it.  I cannot give up on myself, my goal to manifest the life I want, and using my consciousness to create my reality.  I alone can feel my feelings, and take actions appropriate or inappropriate.

Crossing the bridges is me consciously creating my reality.  I’ve got this.  I have done it before, and I will do it now.  The life I want and desire is mine to manifest, and I am deserving of it.  I know this.  It’s on me, and me alone to work with it.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 40:

Diet:  Mostly on track, but not writing it out

Exercise:  Fenced twice, but I did something to my right knee, so I’ve not been hitting the gym.

Writing:  Three blog posts, some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only two days last week, for 9 and 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things three days last week

 

This is the fifty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

 

 

 

 

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