The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: choices (Page 1 of 38)

How Does Decision Empower?

Decision has not always been my strong suit.

I have been notorious for being indecisive.  Well, maybe occasionally I fail to make decisions.  Or, maybe I agonize over decisions, and consequently choose not to choose anything, or…

DecisionSo there’s that.  Lately, though, I have been working on doing better with making choices and deciding things for my life.

For example, with the move we are making, many things have been discarded.  Do I need this?  If the answer has been no, then away it goes.  Once the move is complete, when I begin to go through boxes that have previously lived in storage, I will most certainly toss out more things.

I have been something of a pack rat most of my life.  However, as I have come to value more esoteric and intangible things, I find much of the stuff I have doesn’t need to remain with me.  So, look at that, I discard what I don’t need.

This has been a part of my decision issues, I also recognize.  How?  By keeping stuff that no longer serves me, I am not deciding to let go of it.  Stuff accumulates, and before I know it I have all this crap I no longer need.

In working on crossing the bridges between my worlds, one decision that was really important to me was using my name on all the different forms of writing I do.  Fiction or non-fiction, Steampunk or Fantasy, blog or other copy, I use MJ Blehart.  For a while I was having a very hard time with bridging the gaps between the worlds I perceive for myself.  I needed to decide if I should create multiple personae, or bridge the gaps with just the one name.

Decision is seldom set in stone.

Because I have often feared the outcome of a given decision, I have chosen not to decide, or to delay a decision, or to otherwise hedge my bets.  However, they would regularly bring me to a crossroads on the paths I was walking, Pathwalking or no, and something would have to give.

My indecision, over the years, has cost me opportunities, jobs, relationships, even friends.  Mind you, I am not saying that with rancor or regret, just a statement of fact.  Everything that happens along the way is a growth opportunity.  My indecision, as much as my decisions, are how I have come to this place in my life.  Overall, even while seeking improvements, I am happy to be in this place with my life.

One of the reasons behind all my indecision has been fear of change.  As I wrote both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, change is inevitable.  Everything changes, and that is the most constant constant in the universe.  Nothing is truly stable or stagnant, change is a given.

Changes can be pretty scary.  I think it’s the human nesting instinct that causes us to be so resistant to change.  We want to curl up in our comfortable nests, and watch the world go by. At least for a while.  But then, oh, this is kind of boring…and we change our way.

Another important thing about decision and change is that very little of what I decide is permanent.  Jobs can be changed, new opportunities can be sought, there are always new people to meet and things to learn.  Just because I decide a certain way today, it does not mean I am trapped in that way forever.  Or very long at all, really.

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

Decision is empowering.

Pathwalking is about choosing a destiny for myself.  I see the world I want to live in, see what I want for myself, so I choose a path that I believe will get me where I want to go.  There are good days and bad days.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what I choose, my decision could be wrong.  But because I have made a choice, and I have decided, I have empowered myself.

To decide is to define choice.  I am doing this.  When I choose in this manner, I am empowering myself, because I am the one living my life.  Nobody else can choose what is best for me, so when I have gone ahead and chosen, I can get to wherever I want to go.

It’s important for me to remember the power of this.  When I am having moments of indecision, I need to better take action, and decide instead of not.

One of the reasons I created Crossing the Bridges was in order to make a specific decision.  As mentioned before, I wanted all of my writing under my single name.  I still struggle with this at times, but I believe that I made the right choices.

Decision can change the world.  I am working to decide on a more regular basis, and choose the life I most desire to lead.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 47:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this still.

 

This is the sixty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Changes Do You Want to Make?

Choosing what changes we make for our lives is a key goal of Pathwalking.

The entire cosmos is in a constant state of change.  I think probably one of the only constants in the universe is that everything changes, constantly.

Human nature seeks stability.  We like to know who we are, where we are, and what we are.  As such, there is resistance to change, which can even get pretty violent at times.  Yet no matter how much we want things to just BE a certain way…they will change.

Why is this true?  Because if everything stayed the same, we’d never grow.  Mankind wouldn’t even exist if the ecosystem of Earth hadn’t changed along the way.  There are numerous points of human history that it is best we left behind as we grew and learned along the way.

Recognizing this truth for what it is would probably make the entire world a far better place.  I know I keep bringing this up, but the current positions of a huge number of American political leaders are entirely founded on undoing already-completed change.  They refuse to accept that you can’t go back, in especial to a time and place that only existed in certain-people’s minds.

Other examples include the whole Brexit debacle in Britain, Islamic State extremists across the globe, and climate-change and science deniers.  They see certain changes as scary, economically unsound, or in opposition to their desires, and resist with obstructionism.  Change is stull occurring, and we all get to choose to obstruct or work with it.

In Pathwalking, we look to make choices for the life we want to lead, and as such choose changes to be made.  It’s important to acknowledge that we can change who we are, what we are, and everything else about our individual lives.

 Choosing changes for ourselves is empowering.

I need to do a better job of recognizing that there are many things happening in the world today I can do little or nothing about.  When I get upset about awful things I see happening, my focus goes to negativity, and I disempower myself.  Pathwalking is conscious reality creation, and choosing for myself the life I most want to manifest.

If you are a decent human being, it’s pretty hard to ignore what’s happening to the world at large.  I would not suggest we should ignore it, but we should alter our focus.  Write letters, make phone calls, march in protests, but then work on your own life.  Do the things that will empower you.  Find happiness, joy, and manifest positivity for yourself.

This is NOT a selfish act.  In this fear-based society filled with anxiety, surreal greed and other negatives, it can be challenging to see the difference between selfish and self-care.  When we neglect to care for ourselves, we have far less to give than we realize.  This contributes to stress, dis-ease, illness, and general unhappiness.

I have things in my life I am striving to change.  Rather than just let them happen, I want to choose for myself.  When I work on changes for myself, I am empowered.  When I am empowered, I can do more to empower other people in the world around me, directly or indirectly.

Nobody can change anybody else, unless they allow themselves to be changed.  You can’t help people who do not want to be helped.  But we can do for ourselves, strive to be the best people we can be.  Each of us can choose paths to empowerment, and do more good from those places.

Pathwalking directs changes to manifest better.

Consciousness creates reality.  Rather than just let the world turn around me, I want to have a direct impact on this.  My life is mine, and mine alone.  Yes, I choose to share it in many ways with many different people.  When faced with change, I want to choose for myself where that can and will take me.

I long ago saw three distinct ways to live life.  The first, and most pervasive, is to let life live you.  You go with the flow, things happen around you in their own time, and you do little to choose changes along the way.  The second is to curl up in a ball and wait for death.  This is sometimes literal, but more often than not involves waiting for others to do for you.  It’s about avoiding living in the here-and-now in any number of different ways.  It involves placing lots of blame and letting life totally pass you by.

The third way is where Pathwalking was born.  Grab life like the bull by the horns, and take it for a ride.  You strive to choose what you want for life, decide where to go and what to do.  Changes are made to empower conscious reality creation.  Effort is made to get the most out of life, see if for all its wonders and possibilities.  Live life, rather than let life live you.

There are times this is not easy.  But then, truly, nothing worth having is ever all that easy.  I want to manifest the most joyful, interesting life that I can.  I know that change happens, and even when I am content and want things to just be as they are, changes will occur.  By choosing my paths, I decide the forms this can take.

Make the changes you want for you.

As you are reading this, I am working from Boxhenge.  We are about to move, and this is going to be a pretty big change in my life.  I am moving two hours south, to somewhere rather new to me in many ways.  After over twenty years somewhere within an hour of NYC, now I will be less than an hour from Philadelphia.  Also, for the first time, I will have a full home-office space, and a fairly unfamiliar locale to explore and get to know.

This is both exciting and scary.  It’s a major change, but a welcome one.  We chose it for ourselves.  I can hardly wait to see what new paths will open before me, and what else I can manifest from here.

These are changes I want to make.  I believe they will help me to create the life I most want for myself.  I decided to choose them for myself, and am looking forward to where they will take me.

What changes do you want to make in your life and for your paths?

 

This is the three-hundred-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

Why Might You Set Aside Your Path?

Once in a very great while, your path will need to be set aside for that of another.

I know that I am constantly writing about how, to consciously create reality, we have to choose for ourselves.  This is always true.  But every now and then our own path is not as important as the path of another.

How does that work?  We all have people in our lives who are important to us.  They are loved ones, close friends, people we care about who we will take actions to help when needed.  Because we are human beings, and we are social animals, this means that occasionally we may find our own path shunted off to a side for theirs.

This is the kind of thing that will happen in very specific circumstances.  We need to care for someone who is ill.  There is a move happening, and either we are going along or assisting with completing that.  Something has happened to our loved one that requires our support, and that cannot be ignored or neglected.

This is why Pathwalking is not a selfish act.  Because while each and every one of us has our own paths to choose, we seldom are completely alone in this life. There will be times that our own paths take a back seat to reality.

The important thing to know about this is that the path is not being abandoned.  Rather, we are placing it further back in our agenda of activities we partake of day to day.  Instead of the paths we walk being the primary activity in our life, they are relegated to secondary or even tertiary, depending on the situation.

No path is greater than any other.

My path is not yours.  Nobody can choose the path of another, unless you cede the choice away.  Most importantly of all, nobody’s path is greater than anyone else’s.  What this comes down to is that every path anybody can walk is equally important to any other.

I am walking a path towards becoming a more influential and financially prosperous writer.  That’s probably not yours.  Maybe your path is to create a household of love and joy.  Perhaps it is to be the best at the job you do.  Yours could be to travel to a specific exotic locale.  It’s entirely possible your path is to complete your daily to-do list.

No matter how seemingly grand or miniscule the path is, it’s not more or less important than any other.  Paths differ because people differ.  I am not you, you are not me, and so on.  Because that’s the case, this is where I at least see proof that we live in an abundant universe.

There are more than seven billion people on this planet alone.  There may be similarities amongst our desires, but how they feel to us, what it takes to achieve them, and the why likely differs dramatically.

It’s for this reason that, while we certainly cannot alter anyone else’s path unless they let us, we can still influence them.  When someone sees you do good, or succeed at a similar goal to their own, they can be encouraged or discouraged by that.  You may not even intend to have an influence, but since nobody can feel emotions like anyone else, this is outside of all control.

This is why we sometimes set our own path aside to help someone else on theirs.

There are a couple of important things to keep in mind if this occurs.

There needs to be no bitterness, hostility, anger, upset, or negativity about setting your own path aside.  If you make this choice but feel badly about it, then chances are you will resent the person whom you are setting yours aside for.

Perfect example.  This particular Pathwalk has appeared later in the day than I normally post.  Why?  Because it was more important that I help someone I love with a path they must walk.  I am in no way upset about this, it was more important to be there for my loved one than to do what I felt that I needed to do.  I set aside mine for a bit, but now I am returning to it.

This is the other major thing about this process.  While it is a good thing to be there for those we love and to set our own paths aside for a time to do that, it is important that we do not forget those we desire.  I am not advocating allowing loved ones to suffer or be in distress, but it’s important that you not neglect your own path.

This is why it’s key to set aside your path out of love, and with the intent to return to it.  It should not be for long, unless it happens that you need to change it anyhow.

No one is on a path completely alone.

Because we have people in our lives that matter to us, we’re never truly walking a given path alone.  From time to time we will walk along the path of another without having to set our own aside.  But there are also times where ours takes a backseat.  This is part of regular human interaction, and how we help our loved ones with the paths they are walking.

Have you had to set your path aside from a loved one?

 

This is the three-hundred-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

How Do You Choose To Feel Today?

Do you want to feel good or bad today?  Positive or negative?  Empowered or disempowered?

How do you choose to feel?Despite the insanity of the world at large, or our jobs, or our families and friends, or any other outside influences, WE get to choose how we want to feel.  It’s our decision to feel good or bad, strong or weak, empowered or disempowered.

This feels like a lie, doesn’t it?  Welcome to Monday, the start of the work week.  Oh look at the continued insanity in Washington, DC.  What’s the deal with this unbelievable weather?  End of the month, bills are coming due…overwhelming, right?  Only if you allow it to be.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in this.  Social media is all over bad news, and not just bad news but sad, frustrating, infuriating news.  It’s almost like there is this unspoken challenge to see how angry or sad or otherwise negative they can make people feel.  History says it can go a long ways.

When we allow this to affect us, it can be really difficult to see that we are still in control.  That’s because if we are disempowered, we cede control.  When we cede control, the infamous “they” take it for themselves.

Sometimes it’s really easy to just give in.  All the negativity in media can seriously overwhelm even the most positive person.  We’re bombarded by it, and being emotional creatures, it’s hard not to have it phase us.  Yet the more we allow for the negativity to soak into our psyche, the more disempowered we become.

We can choose how to feel.

I am in no way saying that you’re never going to feel negative feelings.  One of the driving forces of our existence is using a negative thing to inspire a positive thing.  The challenge is not allowing it to overwhelm us.  We can empower ourselves to take these negative things, feel them out, then release them in some form or other.

Choose to feelI know that I sometimes lose track of how I am feeling, and allow negativity to linger.  Holding onto that is going to disempower me.  When I feel disempowered, I will succeed at finding more things to make me feel bad.  Sound familiar?

Take a deep breath.  Allow yourself to feel negativity, let it flow through you, and then LET IT GO.  Release negativity, and do what you can to bring in positivity.  In this way we can empower ourselves, and the forces that strive to disempower us lose their potency.  I know I prefer to feel good, don’t you?

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that we are inundated by negative, disempowering messages, we can choose how to take them in, and whether we allow them to disempower us.  When we feel the disempowering negativity, but choose to release it rather than hold onto it, ultimately we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we frequently spread that feeling to others around us; as such, we can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred ninety-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

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How Do I Interfere With My Path?

There are always things which will interfere with your chosen path.

Many of these things are beyond our control.  I can’t do anything about current government stupidity, hurricanes, foreign wars, and the overall negative attitude of other people.  Yes, I can write letters to the leadership, support hurricane relief funds, and take other proactive actions.  However, it’s important to recognize that this is limited, and needs to be proactive rather than reactive.

Why proactive?  Because if we are constantly reacting to the world around us, this reflects our subconscious being in control.  Consciousness creates reality, and if we are allowing our subconscious to do the driving, then we’re not taking control as we can.

This is where we get into the other things interfering with your chosen path.  You and me.  We will often do things, say things, think things that are actually contrary to the path we’re walking.  This is generally subconscious, which makes it more challenging to overcome.

I have written before about self-sabotage.  This is when I will prevent myself in some way from achieving a desired goal.  I get in my own way, and interfere with my path.  This will come from my fears of success and failure, and ultimate abandonment.

Even knowing, logically, what this is and where it comes from, it is rather easy to let the subconscious get control.  How does that happen?  Let’s say I am scrolling through Facebook, and I see an article about another terrible thing the government is doing.  This gets me upset, and if I don’t consciously release it, it lingers.  Anger, frustration, and subconsciously I am questioning, why bother?  If it’s all going to hell anyhow, what’s the point?

We allow things to interfere with us.

Before I know it, I find myself in front of the keyboard, and uninspired.  I am frustrated, I can’t focus.  Take a break, find a distraction, and then suddenly my day has flown by.  If I begin to question whether I accomplished what I wanted, and the answer is not what I desire, this may upset me.  If I don’t take hold of that, it can spiral out, and the next thing I know I am angry, questioning my purpose, skills, abilities, and worth…and my path has gotten away from me.

Does this strike a chord for you?  This is one of the largest forms of interference in our paths.  Rather than being kind and forgiving to ourselves, we are hyper-critical, self-doubting, and feel as if there is no worth in the path – or worse, no worth in ourselves.

As Admiral Ackbar would say, “It’s a trap!”  Getting stuck in your own head, subconsciously, can be detrimental to your path.  If we allow our subconscious to drive the bus, we cede our control, and interfere with the path we wish to walk.

Consciousness Creates Reality.  This is why it’s so important to be aware of our world.  When we don’t take an active role in being open and aware of the world around us, we inadvertently allow our subconscious to run the show.  Over time, this can cause us a great deal of distress, and will get in the way of any given day, let alone a desired path.

Yes, outside influences can effect this, but only if we let them.  Whether it’s personal, such as a loved one pissing you off; or societal, such as American politics, this can create negativity which the subconscious uses as fuel.

We can control our subconscious.

What it all comes down to is the majority of that which interferes with us is on ourselves.  We control how angry, upset, and how long we hold onto negativity.  When we believe things are bad, and that we are unworthy subconsciously, we interfere with manifesting our desires.

How do we deal with this?  First and foremost, we need to work on our awareness.  Yes, this is going to be somewhat challenging, but the more we do this, the easier it will become.  We tend to be all go go go, and thus seldom pause to analyze.  Many of us tend to be even less conscientious of this when it comes to ourselves.

I have mentioned previously the value in asking questions of ourselves.  How am I feeling?  What am I thinking?  What am I doing?  All of these simple questions of ourselves bring us to the here-and-now, and ultimately tap into our awareness.  When we are aware, we become more capable of seeing and dealing with any interference in our paths.

One of the problems with this is taking the time to actually ask these questions of ourselves.  Isn’t it amazing how quickly a day can just slip on by?  You’re working on things, or trying to work on things, and before you know it, the day is through.  Yet if we take a few moments, maybe once every two hours, to ask these quick questions, we can better be aware, and consciously create desired realities.

Is it really that simple?  I believe that it is.  Trouble is, in the interest of deep thought we humans seem to love adding unnecessary complexities.

There are things that interfere we will have to deal with.

Sometimes things happen that will interfere with your path, totally out of your control, that you won’t be able to just use awareness to rid yourself of.  Car accidents, a nasty headcold, getting fired from a job, dumped by a relationship, someone’s death, and the like happen.  They cannot be denied, and they can have unexpected consequences which might alter your chosen path.

How much any such thing interferes with life can still be your choice.  Recovering from injury and illness will take time, but attitude can help.  Modern medicine is incredible in many ways, but having a good attitude and keeping positive rather than negative can assist in healing.  Also, if you are feeling bad, do you really want to do anything that makes you feel worse?

When we are aware of our feelings, and we take the time to be conscious, we can manifest amazing things.  Any interference can be dealt with, when we take hold of it and choose to do so.  This can often be a challenge, but I believe that this can also lead to new and incredible realities which will make us feel good.  Let’s not let ourselves interfere with ourselves.

Do you recognize when you interfere with yourself?

 

This is the three-hundred-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

Is This Writer’s Block?

Not sure if I am dealing with writer’s block, or just simply having issues creating a topic today.

Writer’s block can take on many different forms.  Sometimes it’s just a lack of ideas.  Other times a lack of inspiration.  From time to time, it’s a lack of motivation.  Certainly it can be a combination of all of the above, too.

Writer's block?For me, there are times I just get distracted.  Might be a useful distraction, or it might be nothing but a plain, unadorned, pointless distraction.  Whatever the case, it’s important that I recognize when this is happening, and take steps to get away from it.  Letting myself be overcome by distraction is a form of self-sabotage.

Occasionally it’s a matter of self-doubt that is blocking me.  When it’s the blog, for example, I wonder if anybody cares about what I put here?  Does any of this matter to anybody, myself included?  Am I just spinning my metaphoric wheels and not gaining anything from this?

It never ceases to amaze me how one question leads to the next which in turn leads to the next.  There are always more questions than answers.  Of course, that’s life.  When we have no questions, we have nothing to learn, and learning is how we grow.  Learning is how we gain new knowledge, and new tools to let us consciously create reality and manifest our dreams.

Another factor in being blocked is outside influences.  If I feel as though I am doing little to nothing to help the greater good, that can be ultimately disheartening.  In our current social climate, that’s a real challenge.

Like any emotion, how long I let myself be blocked is entirely up to me.

I can break my block.

Like any emotion I can feel, I alone can choose how long to let my block sit with me.  Do I want to lament being blocked and moan about it and let it fester?  Or do I acknowledge it, and try to work out of it somehow?

Life is about choices.  I have chosen to walk my own path in this life, and cross the bridges between the different worlds I perceive that I live in.  I decide how to deal with my block, and like any other feeling I can choose to move away from it.

Guess where this particular post is coming from?  I have spent hours trying to come up with a topic, but nothing has hit.  I haven’t done any other writing or editing today, because I am feeling blocked.  Well, one of the best ways to break a block is to write.  Stream-of-conscious writing may be raw, and not something I would necessarily share, but it will in time break me from my block.

It’s akin to running in place or jumping jacks or any other exercise you do to get your heart pumping.  Banging out words on the keyboard is a mental exercise, and will stimulate the brain and clear out blockage.  It may be just a single step in the process, but it’s better than wallowing in self-pity over being blocked.

Other options for overcoming a block include meditation, some form of exercise to literally get the blood flowing, or maybe grabbing something to eat or drink, because sometimes that’s the problem.  Any combination of these options might also be the answer.

A writing block is something you feel.

It’s imperative to acknowledge that blocked is a feeling.  It feels a lot like frustration, annoyance, disappointment, distress, and even anger all combined to various degrees.  It can feel like guilt, too, because often being blocked is completely nonsensical.  There is often no why, it just is.

Hence why breaking a block is like taking control of and changing a feeling.  Because that’s precisely what it is.  If I feel blocked, I have to take steps to break the block.

I have more than one project in the works currently.  The sci-fi epic I’m really enjoying working on continues apace.  I need to continue to work on Guardians, and I need to return to the edits on Harbinger.  There is my modern alchemist story I started that I should continue.  I blog 3-4 times a week, and it never hurts to get ahead.  There are ideas in my head for some other new short stories I should begin to work on.

There is something new I’m doing to further my goals.  I am joining a group and taking some courses online to help me define myself better as a writer, and as a business.  There are several bits of literature I have downloaded as companions to this, and reading them can help break my block.

I think I have gotten past this now.  I am excited about the possibilities before me, and I think I have new means to create stronger bridges to cross between my worlds.

No room for doubt, I have work to do.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 41:

Diet:  I have not been keeping track this week.

Exercise:  Fenced twice, but that was it.  Knee injury is now identified, and I have let it sideline me a bunch this week.

Writing:  Three blog posts, some work on the sci-fi story.

Meditation: Only two days last week, for 8 and 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was not tracking gratitude.  I have to get back to this.

 

This is the fifty-sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

What Do I Choose?

What I choose is what is best for me.

Nobody but me can choose what I want for my life.  Why?  Because there is nobody else inside my head.

People question people’s life choices all the time.  I don’t know if it’s a schadenfreude thing, or a judgement thing, or something else.  We talk about it all the time, and we frequently discuss how we might have chosen differently, or comment about disagreeing with choices that have been made.

It’s important to recognize that nobody can choose for us.  Period, end of story.  I am the only one who can recognize what’s best for me, and I have to live with the choices I make, and don’t make.

Why do we frequently question other people’s choices?  I think sometimes it’s a matter of self-reflection.  Other times, it simply feels easier to look at what other people choose, and comment on it, rather than examine our own choices.

Many people are terrible at choosing and deciding about their lives.  I am certainly guilty of this myself.  Going back over my life, there were numerous times I decided not to decide, or didn’t make a choice because I feared the outcome.

What have I been afraid of?  Ultimately, I feared being abandoned, shunned, and rejected by almost everyone.  I feared success and failure equally, because I thought either would leave me forsaken by everyone.

I am still struggling with this.  While I strive to put on a confident exterior, inside I still fight the demons of my fears.  While I could put the blame on my combat with depression, that feels like a cop-out.  I have chosen to walk my own path, and though others might question this, I still believe in it.

Choose for you.

Deciding is something that can be scary.  Why?  Because when we analyze any given choice, it’s possible to see multiple angles and various outcomes.  To decide literally means in the Latin it originates from “to cut off.” A decision cuts off many, if not all alternatives, and directs you in one way.  In especial when there is more than one choice, knowing if you made the right decision becomes a concern.

Maybe that’s why we question the choices other people make.  Perhaps we’ve made a similar choice and got an unsavory outcome.  It’s possible that we had a similar choice, and in our own analysis of it saw no good coming of it.  Or maybe we had that choice, did not make it, and regret that.

Our society strives to undo that which we dislike.  Again, while I hate to get political, let’s look at Congress.  Rather than fix the Affordable Care Act in a reasonable way, they keep trying to undo it.  Instead of taking forward steps, they are going backwards.  Sadly, tons of progress made in the past decade is being undone all because of spite on the part of petty politics.

Anyhow, this is indicative of the state of our society.  We want to undo what we dislike, rather than do something different.  The Universe does not undo.

Consciousness Creates Reality.  I cannot stress this fact enough.  We might focus on undoing a thing, but the Universe doesn’t recognize this.  I don’t want x or we need to undo y the Universe translates as give me more of x and y.  Ever notice how when you focus on something you really do not want, you seem to get an abundance of it?  That is conscious reality creation.

Choose what you want to manifest.

You are the only one who can choose what is best for you.  Yes, it is almost habitual to comment on the choices other people make, but we can’t change anyone else’s choices.  The only person’s choices we effect are our own.

I know that there are people who do not understand what I want to do with my life.  Frankly, sometimes I get concerned about what I am choosing.  But I know that I am better off making choices and deciding on things for myself than just letting life live me.

I have never taken easy paths, but I have been so afraid of being rejected that I have frequently abandoned them.  Didn’t make use of my theatre degree, did not pursue a career in radio, never became a teacher.  After a long time, I have decided that I am a writer, and I will make my living doing that.

This is not an easy choice.  Working on my own requires me to be better at self-discipline, and making the optimum use of my time.  I would prefer not to return to the corporate world, because life is too short to spend most of my day somewhere sucking my soul dry.  Certainly if I can find the right environment in this respect, that is an option, however.

Because I alone can choose for me, it is up to me to take necessary actions to manifest the life I want.  I believe we live in an abundant universe.  As such, there is more than enough of everything I want to consciously create.  I am not taking anything from anyone else in doing this, and I am worthy.

Choose fearlessness.

FDR said “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  When I allow my fear of failure, fear of success, and ultimate fear of rejection to overwhelm reason, it is imperative I keep this in mind.  Our fear response is necessary when it comes to the tangible.  That’s how we avoid getting eaten by lions and mauled by bulls.  But the intangible is immaterial, and is not a fear to concern ourselves with.

I am the only one who can choose what is right for me.  Only I can decide to allow intangible fears to get in the way of my choices.  It would do us all well to keep that in mind, the next time we question a choice either made by ourselves or made by another, for whatever reason.  We can all work together to be better than we are.

What do you choose for your paths?

 

This is the three-hundred-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

What Do You Take-Away From This?

What you take-away from a less-than-desirable situation is important.  Seeing the good you learned from the bad is the key to this.

We all have bad experiences.  There are going to be things that happen that are infuriating, complicated, difficult and unpleasant.  Life cannot always be perfect.  Frankly, if it was, I think we’d all get really really bored of it.

When bad things happen – and they will – what you take away from them is important.  If you find yourself angry, resentful, distressed or feeling otherwise negative, that will impact you negatively.  However, if you can find good that has come of it, you can generate positivity instead.

What you take-away from any given situation is actually totally yours to control.  Since you are the only one inside of your own head, you get to choose how you feel after anything good or bad happens.

Certainly there are automatic and gut reactions to things.  You get angry, you get hurt, you feel annoyed by what happened.  In the moment, hard not to feel such.  But, after that, you choose how long you hold onto it.  You get to choose how far you take that feeling.

As such, if you are feeling negative about something initially, when you focus on that, you’ll get more.  Consciousness Creates Reality, so focus on what you don’t want, you will create more of it.  This will manifest further bad feelings, and complicate whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

A thing happened.  It produced a negative response and emotion in you.  The take-away is entirely yours to choose.  Acknowledge it, then let it fester and likely draw more negatives…or acknowledge it, and figure out what you can learn from it that’s a positive.

Initial reaction is not what you take-away, unless you choose that.

First, let’s make note of a couple things.  We all make mistakes.  Everybody screws up from time to time.  What’s perfect about everybody is that nobody is perfect.

The bad or annoying or unfortunate thing has happened.  Made me feel negative.  Yup, that’s how it is.  Now, what have I learned from it, and what can I take away from it?

Let’s explore a couple examples:

  • You have credit cards in collections because you rang up too much debt. What is your take-away?  Negative: I am a total screw-up, and a failure.  Positive: I now know I need to be more responsible with my money. 
  • Your relationship/marriage/partnership failed. What is your take-away?  Negative: I suck at relationships.  I never get it right, I am unworthy.  Positive: I learned what does not work in a partnership for me, and can work to avoid that in the future.  I am wiser and worthwhile.
  • You have a crisis, great or small, to deal with. What is your take-away?  Negative: Why do I always have to deal with this crap?  Why me?  Can I just live without an emergency?  Positive: I am the eye in the middle of the storm.  I can handle anything, and am stronger because I know what I am capable of.  I’ve learned something useful from this.

You get to choose just what it is you take-away from everything that happens to you.  That being the case, you get to decide if you want to hold onto and create more negativity, or let-go of the negative and create positivity.

Take-away what you want to manifest.

Conscious Reality Creation means that we strive not to be a victim of circumstance.  Things can and will happen outside of our control, but that does not mean we have no ability to react to them at all.

Emotions are entirely on you and me.  Nobody but you can feel what and how you feel, and as such nobody can make you feel a certain way or no.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves.  I know that I prefer to have some modicum of control over the life I am living.  Every situation is going to present you with a chance to have a take-away, but what that will be is up to you.

This week, for whatever reason, has been rough for me.  Not sure why, but I have had a hard time focusing and achieving what I want to.  I was sleepy, and could not easily concentrate on writing and editing.  Some things got done, but not as much as I wanted.

That was Monday.  When Tuesday rolled around, and I felt much the same, I began to get upset.  I was angry at myself for being lazy.  This in turned led to self-annoyance with my inability to achieve what I had intended to do, and I was getting down on myself for ever perceived misstep.

Last night I reconsidered what my take-away was.  Rather than berate and ultimately self-sabotage myself, I now know I can work on means to improve my focus, and to accept that we all have off days.  I can choose to stop seeing what is not working in my life, and focus instead on what is.

Conscious reality creation goes deep into one’s core.

To manifest what you want from life, it can’t just be a side thought, it has to be your only thought on the matter.  When I was recovering from injuries all I focused on was total healing.  All conscious reality creation works from complete, hyper-focus.

Today I am feeling the best I have in a while.  Staying mindful of the take-away from my situation is doing wonders for my psyche.

What have you taken-away from your life situations?

 

This is the three-hundredth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

How Does Self-Doubt Impact You?

Self-doubt and indecision will complicate Pathwalking.

I strive to be less doubtful about who I am, and to do better with making decisions about my life.  Pathwalking is about choosing for myself, rather than letting random chance just happen.

Yet I still question if I am deserving of this.  I doubt myself, my abilities to do the things I want to do.  This in turn can make me indecisive, and I get stuck in uncertainty.

Self-doubt comes from many places.  Perceived failures, discipline or lack thereof, wrong choices, disproven beliefs, mistakes, miscommunication, and a lack of outside validation.  It is unfortunately easy to blame those outside forces for causing self-doubt, but this is totally an inside job.

If I am doubting myself, then it’s all on me.  The only person inside my head is me.  Nobody else can think for me, unless I give up my free will and let them.

As if that’s not enough of a complication, focusing on the things that I am doubting about myself draws more things.  The self-talk in my head is too negative, and as such not very productive.  I berate myself, see my flaws, get upset with mistakes and missteps and perceived failures too easily.

This complicates Pathwalking, because I get focused on things I don’t want for myself, and then of course that will create more of those.  I get more doubtful, and then get frustrated when I am unproductive, and become distracted because I can’t focus.

Self-doubt is a liar.

This is a hard truth to accept.  Your self-doubt is a lie.  It is that nagging voice in your head telling you that you are unacceptable.  This is the voice saying you are worthless.  It’s the brain weasels running around aimlessly, probably giving you a headache.

When we believe the worst of ourselves, we don’t feel terribly good.  This is where depression is born, and the lying black wolf will make us indecisive about all kinds of things.  You start to question decisions, ideas, plans and goals when you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt may be a wholly internal matter, however its cause can be rooted in outside forces and influences.  When you do not receive validation, whatever form that may take, it can be disheartening.  If you are not recognized for your skills and contributions, you may begin to question your value and worth.

This gets even more complicated when the outside forces are loved ones.  If your own family makes you question your value and worth, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.  When your friends tell you things “for your own good” that might upset you, this too can make you doubtful.  That’s particularly rough when they are questioning your choices, and causing you to question them in turn.

Self-doubt can lead to indecision.

When you doubt yourself, you start to doubt your choices.  You begin to wonder if you are making good choices, or bad choices.  As such, this can lead you to either not make a choice, or to be particularly indecisive.

I have spent a great deal of my life in indecision.  Rather than choose wrong, I either didn’t choose at all, or hmmmed and hawed until I either had no choices remaining, or only one choice available.  I didn’t choose to pursue professional radio after college because I doubted I would be able to build a similar life to that which I had in Podunk, Middle America.  No pursuit of a professional theatre career was every truly initiated by me, because there is huge amounts of uncertainty when it comes to theatre and success.  I didn’t put my focus into turning my writing into a career in my twenties because I listened to those who said that it didn’t pay.

The indecision of my twenties and thirties was fueled by my self-doubt, and unsurprisingly my self-doubt was fueled by my indecision.  Because I spent nearly two decades constantly doubting myself and being indecisive, I did not find financial, career, or relationship successes.  I came to believe that I was a failure, and that I didn’t deserve to succeed because of my mistakes along the way.

I began to believe my own doubts were true.  Maybe I was a failure, maybe I was unworthy of respect.  How could I turn this around and change the dialogue?

Turn self-doubt into self-worth.

I have begun to see now that I am a worthwhile individual.  I contribute to the world around me, helping friends and family and even strangers when I can.  There is worth in what I do, and rather than get hung up on long-term and overarching success, I need to see success in the small things in life.

Often this is still easier said than done.  I am currently striking out on my own to find freelance writing jobs and take my existing work to the next level.  With my desire to be a bestselling author, I am working on finding ways to increase sales of my work, and get myself out there.

Now I have the opportunity to live what I have been writing about for almost six years.  Pathwalking is choosing my own destiny, making choices and deciding to have the life I most want.

Self-doubt is a saboteur.  I know that some days I am going to feel like I am not able to do this, and that I lack the discipline.  I allow those who mean well but say upsetting things to get inside my head; negative news well outside my control impacts my thoughts.  This needs to be acknowledged because it is there, and unavoidable.  But, once I have done that, I need to them proceed to let it go.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.  I need to be bold, make decisions, and not let my self-doubt interfere with the paths I am walking.

What do you do when faced with self-doubt and indecision?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Do I Break the Pattern?

I am the only one who can break the pattern.  But I don’t have all the answers.

More often than not what I have is more questions.

I believe that this is one of the things, though, that makes life worth living.  New questions, new things to learn, answers to be found for questions asked.

I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately.  That’s what I do when I find myself on unfamiliar ground.  Here I am, between jobs, with a real idea of what it is I want to create for my life.

Before I was let go from my last job, I wrote out a schedule for myself.  I set up my day for the ideal job of writing full time.

In this schedule I allowed myself a somewhat flexible wake-up time.  I set aside time to write and edit, time to workout, time to read.  The plan that I created would allow me to get a whole bunch of work done, and really set me up to generate the life I most desire.

Consciousness creates reality.  That means to me that I am capable of manifesting the life I want to live.  Rather than get stuck in another so-so job; instead of working somewhere for eight hours a day that does not make me happy, I actively pursue the life I want, work for myself and spend more time in a good headspace.

Have I managed to do this?  Yes…and no.  I am still not entirely following my schedule, and I am coming up with distractions and excuses to carry it out completely.  Why am I failing at this?

Questions and answers.

I need to be completely honest with myself here.  I have had issues with ambition for a long time now.  There are ideas I have.  Plans get made.  Yet, time moves forward, and I continue to return again and again to the same issues.

Stay with me here, this might be something of a wild ride.  There is a pattern to my life, and I think I am only now acknowledging how much power I have given it.  In an ironic twist, I have been blogging for some time now about how we are the only ones who have control over our emotions.  Nobody but me feels what I feel.  How often do I take control of what I am feeling?  When am I most aware of the thoughts, feeling and action in regards to consciously creating my reality?  When do I let myself just go with the flow?

I see this pattern before me.  I plot out a new idea to work for myself, either with the writing of my novels or starting some new kind of writing-related business, or somehow working for myself.  Then I start up, I get a little traction…and then it falls apart.  Distractions overwhelm me, I half-ass my plan, I get disenchanted…then I stop believing in myself.  The conclusion is reached that I am incapable of making this happen, and it’s time to once again take another job working for someone else…and hopefully this time it won’t bore me, make me miserable, or otherwise feel like a total waste of time.

The pattern repeats.

Rinse, repeat.  I created Pathwalking in 2012, the idea being that I took a New Years Action, and started to blog weekly.  Pathwalking almost instantly became my life philosophy.  From there, I have further developed this idea of working on active conscious reality creation.  Overall, my life has been pretty excellent since I started this.  I’ve achieved a lot of different things and seen my life advance in some rather awesome ways.

Yet here I am today, without a job again, and I am questioning my purpose in life.  I am questioning my motivation, my ambition, my willpower.  Am I willing to do what needs to be done to consciously create my reality?  Do I believe in myself enough to manifest this?

The pattern must be broken.

I am the only one who can change this.  The pattern can only be broken by me.  It is up to me to use my own mind, to become truly aware of what I am feeling and to do something with that.  There is no magic pill, there is no single answer to this, except that I have to take action.  I have to break this pattern.

Tony Robbins writes a lot about breaking patterns.  To do that, you have to be aware of the words you choose to describe your emotions and situations you find yourself in.  Rather than self-sabotage by allowing myself to get distressed with the process or depressed or failing to keep to my plan, I need to change my self-talk.  I need to get impressed by the possibility, and I need to allow a momentary setback instead of depression; I need to not be failing at keeping my plan, I need to change my approach to the plan.  Break my habits, break my patterns, redirect the language in my head.

Only I have the answers.

I am never going to have all the answers…nor do I want to.  Life is about questions, learning, exploring, and gaining new knowledge and insight.  I am capable of conscious reality creation, and I can manifest the life I desire.  I see the pattern I do not want to follow before me, and I alone can break it.

Apologies for the rambling of this particular post.  There is a lot on my mind, and for some reason this one has been really hard to compose.  There are bridges I intend to cross, and I need to get the hell out of my own way.  That’s what this is about.  Nobody but me feels what I feel, I alone can ask the questions and seek the answers.  Only I can break my pattern, change my habits, and manifest my desires.

Your support, reading these disjointed paragraphs today, is greatly appreciated.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 34:

Diet:  I did not fully track my diet last week.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, no trips to the gym.  One walk.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 8 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things only once last week.

 

This is the forty-ninth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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