The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: change (Page 1 of 39)

How Does Decision Empower?

Decision has not always been my strong suit.

I have been notorious for being indecisive.  Well, maybe occasionally I fail to make decisions.  Or, maybe I agonize over decisions, and consequently choose not to choose anything, or…

DecisionSo there’s that.  Lately, though, I have been working on doing better with making choices and deciding things for my life.

For example, with the move we are making, many things have been discarded.  Do I need this?  If the answer has been no, then away it goes.  Once the move is complete, when I begin to go through boxes that have previously lived in storage, I will most certainly toss out more things.

I have been something of a pack rat most of my life.  However, as I have come to value more esoteric and intangible things, I find much of the stuff I have doesn’t need to remain with me.  So, look at that, I discard what I don’t need.

This has been a part of my decision issues, I also recognize.  How?  By keeping stuff that no longer serves me, I am not deciding to let go of it.  Stuff accumulates, and before I know it I have all this crap I no longer need.

In working on crossing the bridges between my worlds, one decision that was really important to me was using my name on all the different forms of writing I do.  Fiction or non-fiction, Steampunk or Fantasy, blog or other copy, I use MJ Blehart.  For a while I was having a very hard time with bridging the gaps between the worlds I perceive for myself.  I needed to decide if I should create multiple personae, or bridge the gaps with just the one name.

Decision is seldom set in stone.

Because I have often feared the outcome of a given decision, I have chosen not to decide, or to delay a decision, or to otherwise hedge my bets.  However, they would regularly bring me to a crossroads on the paths I was walking, Pathwalking or no, and something would have to give.

My indecision, over the years, has cost me opportunities, jobs, relationships, even friends.  Mind you, I am not saying that with rancor or regret, just a statement of fact.  Everything that happens along the way is a growth opportunity.  My indecision, as much as my decisions, are how I have come to this place in my life.  Overall, even while seeking improvements, I am happy to be in this place with my life.

One of the reasons behind all my indecision has been fear of change.  As I wrote both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, change is inevitable.  Everything changes, and that is the most constant constant in the universe.  Nothing is truly stable or stagnant, change is a given.

Changes can be pretty scary.  I think it’s the human nesting instinct that causes us to be so resistant to change.  We want to curl up in our comfortable nests, and watch the world go by. At least for a while.  But then, oh, this is kind of boring…and we change our way.

Another important thing about decision and change is that very little of what I decide is permanent.  Jobs can be changed, new opportunities can be sought, there are always new people to meet and things to learn.  Just because I decide a certain way today, it does not mean I am trapped in that way forever.  Or very long at all, really.

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

Decision is empowering.

Pathwalking is about choosing a destiny for myself.  I see the world I want to live in, see what I want for myself, so I choose a path that I believe will get me where I want to go.  There are good days and bad days.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what I choose, my decision could be wrong.  But because I have made a choice, and I have decided, I have empowered myself.

To decide is to define choice.  I am doing this.  When I choose in this manner, I am empowering myself, because I am the one living my life.  Nobody else can choose what is best for me, so when I have gone ahead and chosen, I can get to wherever I want to go.

It’s important for me to remember the power of this.  When I am having moments of indecision, I need to better take action, and decide instead of not.

One of the reasons I created Crossing the Bridges was in order to make a specific decision.  As mentioned before, I wanted all of my writing under my single name.  I still struggle with this at times, but I believe that I made the right choices.

Decision can change the world.  I am working to decide on a more regular basis, and choose the life I most desire to lead.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 47:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this still.

 

This is the sixty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Changes Do You Want to Make?

Choosing what changes we make for our lives is a key goal of Pathwalking.

The entire cosmos is in a constant state of change.  I think probably one of the only constants in the universe is that everything changes, constantly.

Human nature seeks stability.  We like to know who we are, where we are, and what we are.  As such, there is resistance to change, which can even get pretty violent at times.  Yet no matter how much we want things to just BE a certain way…they will change.

Why is this true?  Because if everything stayed the same, we’d never grow.  Mankind wouldn’t even exist if the ecosystem of Earth hadn’t changed along the way.  There are numerous points of human history that it is best we left behind as we grew and learned along the way.

Recognizing this truth for what it is would probably make the entire world a far better place.  I know I keep bringing this up, but the current positions of a huge number of American political leaders are entirely founded on undoing already-completed change.  They refuse to accept that you can’t go back, in especial to a time and place that only existed in certain-people’s minds.

Other examples include the whole Brexit debacle in Britain, Islamic State extremists across the globe, and climate-change and science deniers.  They see certain changes as scary, economically unsound, or in opposition to their desires, and resist with obstructionism.  Change is stull occurring, and we all get to choose to obstruct or work with it.

In Pathwalking, we look to make choices for the life we want to lead, and as such choose changes to be made.  It’s important to acknowledge that we can change who we are, what we are, and everything else about our individual lives.

 Choosing changes for ourselves is empowering.

I need to do a better job of recognizing that there are many things happening in the world today I can do little or nothing about.  When I get upset about awful things I see happening, my focus goes to negativity, and I disempower myself.  Pathwalking is conscious reality creation, and choosing for myself the life I most want to manifest.

If you are a decent human being, it’s pretty hard to ignore what’s happening to the world at large.  I would not suggest we should ignore it, but we should alter our focus.  Write letters, make phone calls, march in protests, but then work on your own life.  Do the things that will empower you.  Find happiness, joy, and manifest positivity for yourself.

This is NOT a selfish act.  In this fear-based society filled with anxiety, surreal greed and other negatives, it can be challenging to see the difference between selfish and self-care.  When we neglect to care for ourselves, we have far less to give than we realize.  This contributes to stress, dis-ease, illness, and general unhappiness.

I have things in my life I am striving to change.  Rather than just let them happen, I want to choose for myself.  When I work on changes for myself, I am empowered.  When I am empowered, I can do more to empower other people in the world around me, directly or indirectly.

Nobody can change anybody else, unless they allow themselves to be changed.  You can’t help people who do not want to be helped.  But we can do for ourselves, strive to be the best people we can be.  Each of us can choose paths to empowerment, and do more good from those places.

Pathwalking directs changes to manifest better.

Consciousness creates reality.  Rather than just let the world turn around me, I want to have a direct impact on this.  My life is mine, and mine alone.  Yes, I choose to share it in many ways with many different people.  When faced with change, I want to choose for myself where that can and will take me.

I long ago saw three distinct ways to live life.  The first, and most pervasive, is to let life live you.  You go with the flow, things happen around you in their own time, and you do little to choose changes along the way.  The second is to curl up in a ball and wait for death.  This is sometimes literal, but more often than not involves waiting for others to do for you.  It’s about avoiding living in the here-and-now in any number of different ways.  It involves placing lots of blame and letting life totally pass you by.

The third way is where Pathwalking was born.  Grab life like the bull by the horns, and take it for a ride.  You strive to choose what you want for life, decide where to go and what to do.  Changes are made to empower conscious reality creation.  Effort is made to get the most out of life, see if for all its wonders and possibilities.  Live life, rather than let life live you.

There are times this is not easy.  But then, truly, nothing worth having is ever all that easy.  I want to manifest the most joyful, interesting life that I can.  I know that change happens, and even when I am content and want things to just be as they are, changes will occur.  By choosing my paths, I decide the forms this can take.

Make the changes you want for you.

As you are reading this, I am working from Boxhenge.  We are about to move, and this is going to be a pretty big change in my life.  I am moving two hours south, to somewhere rather new to me in many ways.  After over twenty years somewhere within an hour of NYC, now I will be less than an hour from Philadelphia.  Also, for the first time, I will have a full home-office space, and a fairly unfamiliar locale to explore and get to know.

This is both exciting and scary.  It’s a major change, but a welcome one.  We chose it for ourselves.  I can hardly wait to see what new paths will open before me, and what else I can manifest from here.

These are changes I want to make.  I believe they will help me to create the life I most want for myself.  I decided to choose them for myself, and am looking forward to where they will take me.

What changes do you want to make in your life and for your paths?

 

This is the three-hundred-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

How Can Change Generate Positivity?

Change is inevitable, but can be a huge source of positivity.

Let’s face it.  Everything changes.  The world evolves, and whether you want to admit it or no, change is going to occur.

ChangeSeasons change.  The weather changes.  We humans have a unique ability to change our clothes, our homes, our lives, and our minds.  Changes just are.

Often we just let change occur.  The world is turning, things happen.  Sometimes we accept this.  Other times, we resist it.

It’s important to recognize positive resistance versus negative resistance.  There is a difference.  Marching to protest unjust policy, writing and calling members of Congress, petitioning and other forms of resistance are positive, and a focus for directing changes.

Holding onto the past, trying to force matters into an unnatural shape, standing against progress, or holding tightly to a disproven belief and similar forms of resistance are negative, and present obstacles to change.  Obstructing will seldom, if ever, get you where you want to go.

Renowned psychologist Carl Jung said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”  Or, to sum up, What you resist, persists.  This is rather pertinent to change.  When we resist changes, as in the form of obstruction, we will get more of what we don’t want.

The Universe is pretty consistent in using consciousness to create reality.  However, the Universe does not recognize don’t, do not, don’t want, or undo.  The Universe recognizes only item and desire.  So if you say I do not want this, the Universe only gets the message of want this.

Because many people fear change, we tend to resist in the obstructionist manner.  It takes very little thought to see this for what it is.

Change happens.

Positivity 199 - ChangeWhen we accept that change is going to happen, like it or not, we can choose how to work with it.  Stand against it, or with it?  Resist by trying to redirect, or resist by obstruction?  The choice is more in or hands than we generally recognize.

When we choose change, we get to choose to make it positive.  If things are not how we want them to be, we can choose to change them for the better.  I know sometimes it feels hopeless, but it really isn’t.  This can be an incredible source for positivity in this world.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that change happens whether we like it or not, we can choose to work with change to generate positivity.  When we strive to direct it instead of resist it with obstructions, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we frequently spread that feeling to others around us; as such, we can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred ninety-ninth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

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What Is Reality?

Reality is how we perceive the world around us.  It both is and isn’t that simple, of course.

No less an authority than Albert Einstein said, “Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one.”  What that means is that what we perceive as our reality is different for everyone.

To me, this thoroughly supports the notion that consciousness creates reality.  Since the reality we perceive is completely individual, and a persistent illusion, isn’t it completely logical that we can create our own?

We can all agree that our perception of the world around us is what we name reality.  We can see it, smell it, feel it, touch it, hear it, even taste it.  Yet there is more to the world than just that which we can sense.  Everything is energy, and energy is constantly flowing all around us.  This is also, I would argue, real.

As children, we are less invested in accepting the reality we’re presented with.  How many kids have imaginary friends that are almost completely real to them?  The wonder that children view the world with, before we tell them the what of things, is impressive.  The world a child considers to be real encompasses numerous illusions that, as they get older and “educated”, fade away.

I am in no way saying education is bad.  Quite the contrary, the more we know, the more we gain.  The issue is not education, it’s losing a sense of wonder with the world around us.

So many people feel “trapped”, or “stuck” or otherwise held back from things they want by the reality they perceive.  They have lost sight of wonder and joy be becoming entrapped by a world they think is beyond their control.

Conscious reality creation transmutes the illusion.

I am always seeking new wonders in this world.  I love hiking in nature and coming across a beautiful, tree-lined path or rocky river offering me never-before-seen vistas.  It is from these experiences that I still believe in a wondrous world, full of endless possibility.

When we lose sight of that, and get caught up in the world as we currently perceive it, we are disempowered.  Once that happens, it’s difficult at best to move past, and regain a sense of curiosity and possibility for what could be.

Pathwalking is my ideal for creating a life I most want to live.  Rather than let the world as I currently perceive it be that which I live in, I want to consciously create a better reality.  It is my desire to change how I perceive my world, and manifest one more to my liking.

If this which I already perceive is but an illusion, then changing it is a matter of practice.  It’s up to me to change what I sense, and create something even better.

I know you might be thinking to yourself, what is it with this hooky-spooky mumbo-jumbo?  Einstein meant something totally different with that statement.  Sure, I’ll give you that is possible.  But then, consider this:

Just over a hundred years ago, the first commercial airline came into being. Horse drawn vehicles still outnumbered cars.  There were no satellites, cellular phones or fitness trackers.  That reality was long ago changed, arguably far more drastically than any prior hundred year period.  The illusion of our world shifted considerably into what we have today.

Anyone can change their world.  Anyone.  Some changes are going to be colossal, wide-ranging, and life-changing.  Most, though, will be individual, but could be equally life-changing.

Whose illusion of reality is it?

Relationships change our reality.  So do new places we live, jobs we work, and locations we visit.  How we each perceive these things is wholly unique.  The way I see the world differs from your way, or that of any other.

This is why we can choose our illusion.  You and I possess the ability to consciously create our reality.  When we empower ourselves, and recognize this for the truth, there’s a lot more that we can do than we currently believe there to be.

Unfortunately, one of the big challenges with this is our fear-based society.  Everywhere we turn we see lack, are told there is not enough, and that we need to be afraid of *insert racial group or religious entity or other nonconformists here*.  To add to this, whenever someone violates or otherwise does something that is not the “social norm”, we tend to scoff at it.  Rather than support the new, frequently we warn of dangers and pitfalls.

Everyone makes poor life choices.  This is part of the human experience.  Frequently, we believe that our choices are more limited than they actually are.  We get worn down by the lack and fear of our culture, and accept the illusion before us as truth.

The world has been changed before.  It will be changed again.  Change is inevitable.  We have the power within us to direct change, rather than be a pawn of it.  We do it all the time, but much of it we take for granted.

When you change your clothes, hair, job, or car, you alter the illusion of your reality.  It is a small alteration, but everything is built up from the small stuff.  If you find yourself dissatisfied with larger matters, you have the power to take control over it.

What do you want your reality to look like?

 

This is the three-hundred-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Joy Empowers Us

Living in joy is the ultimate goal.

I don’t want to spend my time at a desk, working for someone I might not entirely respect, doing something that bores me.  Life is just too short for that.  Rather, I want to do something that makes me happy.

Have you ever been told that “You have to work for a living” or “you gotta do what you gotta do” or “you have to make ends meet” or similar?  Likely, I suspect you have.  How come we so readily accept that work should be joyless and soul-crushing?

Crossing the Bridges 51Think about it.  Even if you are not working at something that isn’t ideal, how many people do you know that do?  How many friends and loved ones complain more about where they work than not?

How come we accept this?  Why have we decided that it’s perfectly ok to spend the majority of our waking hours being unhappy?

Yes, we can argue about “responsibility” and “being an adult” and on and on.  But consider this: we are only in these bodies, on this planet, for about a century – give or take a decade or two.  While our essence is energy, and will not be destroyed when we pass away, in these meat-popsicles our time is finite.

Not only is our society fear-based, but it’s also lack-minded.  We are inundated with messages that there is not enough, that we have insufficient supplies, that things are lacking.  This in turn leads some to hoard all kinds of things, and deny others because of this mentality.

Joy is a matter of abundance.

The universe is abundant.  Despite our being constantly told that it’s not, it actually is.  We are capable of manifesting pretty damned amazing things, when we get out of our lack mindset.

This is something I have been working on for some time.  I tend to get caught up in the lack mentality, and because of this I have spent a great deal of my life indecisive.  I couldn’t decide what I actually wanted, so frequently made no choice at all.  In my possession are many old journals, where entries from my thirties are all about being down, lacking satisfaction and joy and so on.

For years, I would tell you that my theme song was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.  This applied to my home, job, relationships, spiritual state, financial state, yadayadayada.  I complained a lot,  questioned everything, and felt very alone.

What changed?  I started to take action.  As I have mentioned many times, Pathwalking was borne of a New Year’s Action, to begin to write weekly.  From there, I began to take on this idea of conscious reality creation and making choices.  Lo and behold, I started to experience changes I wanted to see.

I got into a stable relationship.  There was a job I mostly enjoyed.  The SCA continued to provide me with an outstanding social outlet.  I was writing, and began to see works published.  I began to truly pursue my joy.

How come I didn’t do this sooner?  In part, because I believed when I was told “writers don’t make much money” and “you can’t make a decent living as a writer” and similar.  Most of these statements were made to me not maliciously, but “for my own good” and to help me make choices along the way.

Joy is too important to ignore.

We tend to give our pursuit of happiness and joy a lot less attention than we should.  We have accepted the narrative of our society that happiness and joy come in small doses.  While I acknowledge that it’s impossible to live in joy all the time, I still want to experience it more frequently than its negative opposites.

I know that I have to earn a living, that I need to contribute to society in a productive manner, and always strive to do my best.  What I do not accept is that I should spend most of that time discontent.  Must I accept that the majority of my day should be spent doing something that is unsatisfying, and leaves me unable to experience much joy?  I say no.

You can go ahead and call me irresponsible.  I accept that society largely will think I am crazy for working on conscious reality creation to manifest a joyful life.  But when all is said and done, the ultimate goal I believe everyone is in pursuit of is joy.

Changing the lack mentality and fear-based society we live in can feel really daunting.  This is why it starts with each and every one of us.  When I stop feeding the lack and fear machines, and instead empower the abundance and contentment engines, I believe I can help empower others.  It is not selfish to seek abundance and joy for ourselves when we act on sharing it.

Abundance for joy.

I am working on taking a new approach to my day.  When I start to feel like I am lacking, I will actively work on focusing on abundance.  I will use gratitude for the things I have, and see the abundances of my life.  Even the little, easy to take for granted things are a matter of abundance.  Rather than focus on things I don’t have, I will work on focusing on gratitude for the things I have.

Viewing the world as abundant instead of lacking is something we can all do to change it.  We can’t ignore the problems of the world, but instead of lamenting them, we can work on making our own individual lives abundant and joyful.  I think this is totally a worthwhile goal, don’t you?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 36:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, writing it out again.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, one day at the gym, one energetic hike.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; a couple days of writing in the sci-fi story.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 10 minutes.

Gratitude:  I was grateful for 5 things a day, over 5 days.

 

This is the fifty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Is Change Good or Bad?

Change is a good thing.

Yet this terrifies us.  Change leads to the unknown, and in our fear-based society, the unknown frightens us.

Crossing the Bridges 50I know that to some degree, this is a survival instinct.  When we lived in caves, and had a limited knowledge of anything but the immediate geography, the unknown beyond was almost unimaginable.  What kind of creatures are over that mountain?  Are there monsters in the sea?  Does that village we see smoke from contain cannibals?

Some among our ancient ancestors didn’t leave the immediate area.  But others did, they ventured out, faced the fear, changed the world they knew.  From that shift we evolved from hunter-gatherers to farmers, and change happened.

Our world evolved.  We crossed the sea, we went over the mountain, and we met the people of that village.  We swallowed our fear, we became explorers, and our world grew.

Change is how we got to our modern society.  Do you realize that a hundred years ago the idea of instantaneous global communications would have been totally unbelievable?  Because of changes in our technology, here we are.  The moment I post this it can be read anywhere in the world.

Yet deep down, the majority of us fear change.  And many of those who act as our “leaders” love to do whatever they can to exploit that fear.  They use that to maintain whatever status quo holds their so-called power.

Change happens whether you like it or not.

This is the truth.  Everything changes.  Every single day things move, shift, evolve.  This is inevitable.  It is also unavoidable.

I am at the cusp of some pretty major changes in my life.  Several matters are about to shift, ranging from my employment, to my home, to my physical, emotional and mental health.  Rather than just let these transitions happen, I am working on controlling them, and embracing them.

For example…we will be moving at the end of the fall.  While we are only moving two hours away from where we currently live, it will be the first time in over twenty years I will be relocating to a substantially different locale.  I’ll be less than an hour from a different major city than I have lived near for over two decades.

We have chosen this change.  Why?  Because transmutaion is good.  Change is growth, evolution, and opportunity.  Without these, we face stagnation.  The lack of growth can lead to staleness, like a standing pool of water, and a stagnant life can lead to enormous dissatisfaction.

Even if you are content with how things are, no matter how long they remain constant, they will still change.  A lot of this stuff is beyond our control.  How we react to it, however, is entirely up to each and every one of us.

Further, some change is unwanted.  I am going to get political here, because it is really hard not to.  Look at the effort our President is putting into obliterating everything his predecessor did.  Look at how, rather than fix the issues with the ACA, congress keeps trying to tear it down.  Millions of lives will be effected by some pretty selfish, thoughtless acts, and changes to policy.  A transition will happen, whether we want it to or not.

Accept change, or change it.

We can choose to just let this happen, or we can fight to alter matters for the better.  Marches, rallies, non-violent protests, blog posts and other actions can be implemented to change the negative to something positive.  Elections happen, and we can work on getting rid of the dead weight in congress.  We can inundate all of these so-called leaders with letters, e mails and phone calls reminding them who they work for.  We can choose how coming change will impact us.

This is true of change on every level.  Personal, political, global, even universal.  The thing is, simply resisting is not enough, we need to have a blueprint to change for the better.  We need to not fear the change is happening, but rather embrace change that we want.  We can and should resist the fear, but to move forward we need to strike out courageously towards positive tranformations.

I am looking at a lot of variation ahead of me.  There is some fear, and I need to acknowledge it, then let it go and replace it instead with confidence in myself, and setting out to create change as I want it.  I see the bridges of change before me.  Some are a little scary, you know, those rope bridges over huge chasms that look none-too-stable?  But I want to get to the change at the other side, so crossing the bridges is my only option.

Change is growth.  It is the new. This can be exciting if I choose to make it so.  That’s what lies ahead, and I am embracing change to create the life I most desire to live.

Embrace change, resist it, or cower in fear.  The choice is wholly up to me.  Embracing change is the only way to have any control of it.  What would you prefer to do?

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 35:

Diet:  Mostly back on track, but I have not been writing it down.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, two days at the gym.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; a blog post to my author website; editing of Harbinger was completed as well.

Meditation:  Four of seven days last week, but I did not write anything down.

Gratitude:  I did not maintain the physical log, so this was not done.

 

This is the fiftieth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself?

This is not a trick question.  How do you feel about yourself?

Modern society tends to look askance at self-love.  Why?  Because our society frequently deals in extremes, and on this scale the extremes are selfishness and selflessness.

A great deal of our fear-based society focuses on greedy, intolerant, ignorant, selfish people.  Government, religious and business leaders frequently show us exactly that.  Selfishness in the extreme, to the detriment of everyone else.

Because that’s such a huge part of our societal conversation, it is necessary to counter the selfishness with selflessness.  Giving, helping, reaching out in whatever way we can to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us.  We work tirelessly to assist the less-fortunate.

The thing is, the vast majority of us do not live on the extreme ends of any given spectrum.  We are all, for the most part, centrists of one ilk or another.  Very few people are any given extreme, because that simply is not human nature.

The thing is, in order to be more selfless, we need to care for the self.  This is why it’s important to ask whether or not you love yourself.  If you do not take care of your own emotional, spiritual and of course physical needs, how can you expect to give to anyone else?

To love yourself is not selfish.

Plain as that, self-love is not selfish.  The problem, though, is that in a society focused on extremes, self-love frequently gets miscast as selfishness, narcissism, egomania and other negative connotations.

Loving yourself is not selfish.  To love yourself is not an inflation of the ego, or bragging about things you are doing, it is about caring for who you are.  It is about respecting the things that make you a good person.  Self-love is acknowledging your abilities, skills, talents, and the good you can do.

I have struggled with this for a large portion of my life.  For many years I barely liked myself, let along loved myself.  I saw a fat, uncertain, frequently indecisive man who couldn’t hold down a job or a relationship for squat.  Didn’t like who I was, and I did not like my life all that much.

Pathwalking began as an attempt to follow-through with something.  A decision was made to blog weekly.  It is nearly six years now I have been writing this, and along the way I began to like myself.  I saw what I was capable of, and I saw what I could do.  Then I strove to find ways to love myself, to see what makes me an incredible person who can share this incredible journey with you.

There are days this is easy, and there are days I still struggle.  Last job I worked turned out to be increasingly unsatisfying in multiple ways, and then it was gone.  Still struggling to get my weight down to a healthier level.  I am working on keeping a schedule for writing, editing and exercise to create the path I want to walk in this life.  Some days it works better than others, and remains a work in progress.

Love yourself and you give yourself fuel.

To drive your car from point “a” to point “b”, you have to put gas in the tank.  If you don’t have enough gas, you will stall out and get stuck somewhere, quite possibly in the middle of nowhere.  Self-love is the fuel in your gas tank.  This is equal parts spiritual, emotional and physical.  If you have insufficient self love, you will get stuck somewhere.

Love is the ultimate generator of positivity, of good, of growth and energy and happiness.  When you do not love yourself, you have little fuel to do much of anything.  If you want to do more than just let life happen around you, if you want to take control and make changes and grow, you have to love yourself.

How do you learn to love yourself?  I am still working on this regularly, but this is what I have come up with thus far.  First, you have to accept that to love yourself is different from narcissism, selfishness and other negatives.  To love yourself is healthy.

Second, you have to find the things that are good about you.  A friend inspired my writing of this with a Facebook post asking us to name one thing we love about ourselves.  We all have something that we can love about ourselves.  There is some talent, some ability, some thing that we can do which we love about ourselves.

Third, you have to express your love for yourself.  Take an action that will make you feel good.  Eat the cake, get the massage, watch the movie, have sex, read the book, tell the joke, do something that makes you feel that love for yourself, and use that energy to fill the tank.

To like yourself is to love yourself.

Starting with things you like about yourself can lead you to find love for yourself.  What is it about you that you like?  What makes you feel good?  Are there particular talents and skills of that you like having?  Do you choose to share with others something you like about yourself?

It is not a huge leap to get from liking yourself to loving yourself.  One of the biggest hurdles, though, is recognizing the difference between self-love and selfishness.  Love for yourself is not narcissism.  When you love yourself, you develop a huge resource of tools and options to not only live the best life you can, but to give the most you can to others.

I know we live in interesting times.  We need to be kinder and nicer and better to others.  However, in order to do that, we need to be kinder and nicer and better to ourselves.  When you do not love yourself, you haven’t got enough fuel to give to others.  Recognizing this can lead us all to improve the world around us.

What do you love about yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How Important is Communication to Pathwalking?

There needs to be communication.  Even an empath is not a mindreader.

Some people are better at reading people than others.  The definition of how one reads people, though, it rather broad.

Multiple factors go into reading people.  Some are surface, some more in depth.  On the surface there is body language, gestures, stances, facial expressions and other visual cues that will inform you as to what someone is thinking.

Reading someone’s emotional state is a lot trickier.  Some people “wear their heart on their sleeve”, and all of their emotions are expressed in an obvious, readable way.

Certain emotions are physically expressed so as not to be missed.  Screaming in anger or frustration, yelling at someone, crying, laughing, smiling, and similar such expressions convey emotion to anyone in range.

Some people do not share so easily.  Maybe it’s because they have been hurt, maybe because they prefer to keep their feelings to themselves…it really doesn’t matter.  They prefer to not show their emotional state, and that is something to be respected.

As an empath, I can still usually read someone’s emotions, even when they are not in any way obvious.  But reading emotions has limitations, and may not be appreciated.

Reading people’s emotions is no substitute for communication.

Communication is often taken for granted.  In particular with the people we get closest to.  We have our familiars, those whom we frequently share with and know and understand.  One of the intimate aspects of this is subtle, passive, frequently non-verbal tells.

It can become very easy to “know someone’s mind”, and to expect certain behaviors, actions, attitudes and emotions from them.  This is a particular matter with the people we are closest to.  We get comfortable with one another, and we get into a pattern and a flow and familiarity.

People change.  Pure and simple, everyone and everything changes.  Most change is slow, subtle, practically invisible.  But the nature of the universe is change.  Yet we are frequently resistant to change because it is the unknown, it can be scary, unfamiliar, and possibly uncomfortable.

Somewhere along the way much of our society began to view change as something bad.  We even have romanticized the notion of freezing time, holding everything in place so that perfection can be achieved.  Of course, perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and change is going to happen because that is how nature functions.

The caterpillar becomes a butterfly.  The dinosaurs became petroleum.  Children become adults.  The sun rises and sets.  All of this is incontrovertible, it is how the universe functions.  Without change, we could not grow, we would not learn, we would not be able to be more than we are.

No two people change in the same way.  We talk about growing together and growing apart; yet we never do these things in the same way.  Even twins learn and think differently, no matter how connected or telepathically linked-up they might be.

Direct Communication Is Important.

No matter how emotionally connected we become with people, it is still vitally important that we communicate with one another.  So many of the problems we encounter in this society, not to mention among our interpersonal relations, are due to a lack of communication.

As I am choosing the paths I wish to walk, I know that nobody else can see inside my head.  What I am thinking, the notions I am working on, the plans I am making are mine and mine alone.  I strive to grow, to change, to learn all the time, and I am working to embrace change.

Pathwalking is not just about embracing change.  It is about accepting and working on controlling change.  Rather than letting things just happen, you are working on making them happen.  You are seeking to consciously create reality, so that you can have the best, most amazing life possible.

This is going to change you.  Directed change, but change none-the-less.  As such, those who love you and whom you love might not understand this.  They might be confused, they might get upset with you, they might resist because you are changing, and they can feel it.

This is why communication is so, so important.  We need to share with our loved ones what we are doing, why we are doing it, and where our thought process is going.  Yes, we might meet well-intentioned resistance in the process, but that does not lessen the need for open, honest communication.

Conscious communications.

Even when we are not talking about Pathwalking, we need to be more conscious of what we share with those we care about.  Being aware does not just apply to ourselves, in particular when we have people we share this life with in whatever form that takes.  This is why communicating what we are doing and how we are changing with one another empowers everyone.

When we work to be better communicators, we become better at sharing who we are, as well as who we want to be.  Knowing those we care for as best we can will bring us closer, and that is always a good thing.

How do you communicate with those you care about?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

Can Positivity Make You Happy?

Ultimately, everybody wants to be happy.

I believe that’s what we all most want.  Happiness.  When we are happy, we are more capable of living a complete, satisfying life.

Positivity is a direct path to happiness.  Happiness is one of the ultimate in positive feelings, which is why it’s so important that we find and cultivate it as much as we can.

There is more than enough anger, intolerance, unhappiness and outright hatred in the world.  Adding to that only generates more.  Since consciousness creates reality, when that’s our focus, that’s what we create more of.  Getting inundated with and overwhelmed by all this negativity just draws more of it in.

This is why it’s important to look for and find things that make us feel happy.  Positivity, in any form that it takes, is a lead-in to happiness.  Positive is equal to good, and good is a feeling that can evolve into happy.

Happy is simpler than we make it out to be.

This is not about that blissful, euphoric, overindulgent happy that movies and TV try to sell us; nor is it the Happily Ever After of a fairy tale.  No, this is that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that sensation that makes you want to smile, maybe even laugh.  Honest, simple, happiness.

Rather than allow the sheer volume of negativity across social media, and all the insanity of politics and religion and such of modern society dominate us, we need to remain aware.  We need to be more familiar with our state of mind, our state of being.  From there, we will be better able to combat all the negative messages, and create better.

We cannot change the world if we do not change our small corners of it.  If you don’t feel good, how can you help anyone else feel good?  I fall into this trap myself from time to time, which is part of why I write about this frequently.  These Positivity posts were created to remind myself about the necessity of finding means to feel good, as much as they were created to help you do the same.

Want rather than DON’T want.

Last but very much not least, remember that the Universe doesn’t recognize messages like I don’t want to feel this way or that…it only registers want to feel this way or that.  This is why focusing on positivity to create more of it is imperative.  It is one of the keys to happiness.  Awareness of thought, feeling and action leads to conscious reality creation; ergo we are all cable of creating amazing, happy lives – and share them.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.  Knowing that ultimately, we all want to be happy, and positivity is a key to this, we can work on our awareness of positivity, and seek more of it.  When we find positivity, and we use positive things to make ourselves feel good, this can lead to us feeling happy; ultimately we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eighty-first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

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What Will be the Rewards and Consequences of my Decisions?

Conscious reality creation takes place in the now.

We cannot undo the past, and as Yoda says, “Always in motion is the future.”  The only part of reality we truly control is the present.

This week has marked several changes on my part.  All of them involved decisions.  One was in regards to changing this blog for its growth, one will close a long-standing issue I’ve spent more than half-a-decade trying to resolve.  In both instances I had to make a choice, to decide to take an action, each with consequences both real and perceived.

As I was writing Pathwalking this week, I had a moment where a lightbulb went off in my head.  Yes, I long ago recognized that I am the most successful at sabotaging myself, but this is not a matter of sabotage, but of perception.  That matter of perception is a large part of the why behind my not yet manifesting the reality I desire.

To reiterate that point, I constantly feel like I am on the cusp of creating what I want, on the verge of consciously creating my desired reality…and because I keep it just ahead of me, just about to happen, it never manages to actually happen.  So close…but not yet here.

Consciously creating reality requires being aware and present in the here-and-now.  When I am aware, I am able to think what I want, to feel what it will feel like, and take the necessary actions and make the decisions to do it.

Changes and decisions made.

I spent more money than I was comfortable spending shifting this blog from being hosted with the limitations of wordpress dot com to a new host and using the tools of wordpress dot org.  I spent even a bit more because I set-up the ability to move more of my domains to WordPress, so that I can make them better and more powerful, too.  The consequences of that choice were both tangible and intangible.  The former being the money spent is spent, the intangible being the concern of losing what I had already created.  I am pleased to note that, thus far, that does not appear to be the case here.

I took steps to resolve a long-standing matter both personal and financial.  An investment I am no longer benefitting from has been hanging over my head for some time.  The investment is not mine alone, it is shared with family.  We have had different priorities in regards to this, and it’s been the cause of some strife for several years.  The other party has taken action to resolve this, and while I requested specific remuneration, they disagreed.  I disagreed with their reasoning, but rather than draw this out even further, I chose to accept what was offered and move ahead.  The consequences of this choice were both tangible and intangible.  The former being getting less than I feel I should be, the intangible being lost respect between myself and the other party.  This is not yet complete, but I expect no further issues in finally getting resolution.

In both instances there were choices to make.  Though they are vastly different matters, they are the same in being steps forward versus remaining in the comfort zone I am existing in.  Both involved being in the now, and accepting the consequences, good or bad, of my actions.

Being present to manifest.

The point has been driven home this week multiple times how important it is for me to be in the present.  I can only work in the here-and-now to consciously create my reality, and that will only be accomplished when I take my choices and make decisions for action.

I need to stop viewing the manifestation of the reality I desire as being just slightly ahead of me, on the cusp of actually BEING.  I need to see it NOW, here and present and happening.  Last week I discussed the power of I AM in crossing the bridges, but this is exactly that.  By thinking, feeling and saying, “I am on the cusp of making this happen!” I am leaving the reality I want to live in just ahead of myself.  There it us, just out of my grasp, almost, nearly visible through the haze.  So.  Close.

I need to decide that “I am manifesting my reality.”  In the present, in the here-and-now, I am creating the reality I want and manifesting the life I believe I am capable of having.  This is a decision no different from the others I have made this week, albeit composed of more intangibles.

I need to choose to think in the here and now, “I am consciously creating my reality.  I am doing it.  It is manifesting all around me, right here, right now.”  The consequences of this choice are both tangible and intangible.  The former is getting to do what I really want to be doing with my life and truly practicing what I write about.  The latter is the concern that the people I care about will think I am off my rocker, that they will abandon me and I will fail.

I think this is a decision I will ultimately be happy with.  I know that, here and now, I am.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 24:

Diet:  Overall I have been good on my food intake.

Exercise:  Fencing three days, one to four laps around the small lake three different days.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on my modern alchemist story one day.

Meditation:  Every day last week, never less than 5 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things every day last week.

 

This is the thirty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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