The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: ask (Page 1 of 2)

Why the “How” of things trips me up.

Why does the “how” of it all continue to get in my way?

Two weeks ago I discussed the block I encounter between idea and end goal.  I want to be a bestselling author.  The “how” of the process is what keeps tripping me up, and I think it’s time to dig deeper into why that is.

Conscious reality creation works.  I’ve done it many times, and I intellectually understand it.  One of my greatest issues, though, is emotions, which is part of how I keep stumbling.

exploring the howIn no regard do I blame my parents, certainly not after all this time.  When they divorced nearly four decades ago, to protect myself from feeling hurt and taking undue blame for their divorce, I shunted off my emotions.  I was a smart enough kid to tell the psychologist what the feelings should feel like…but I didn’t actually feel them.  This would go on for over twenty-five years, until a different therapist and I unlocked this matter.

Feelings…nothing more than feelings.

Once I recognized my intellectualization of emotions, rather than feeling them, I was able to start changing things.  Thus I began to work on actually feeling, and from there my life changed.  I started to feel a passion for manifesting what I wanted, I started to approach relationships differently, and this is where I began to build the life I have today.

I have come to believe that while thought and intentional action are important to manifesting things, the key is feeling.  You can’t just think and act on something, you have to FEEL it.  You have to feel certain, sure that it will be.  It is necessary to feel that my thought has been made manifest, and let the Universe deliver.

I always want to know how.

I am a curious person.  Understanding how things work has always been a part of my nature.  There has always been a drive to uncover the truth of things, and to really know “how” the universe works.

There are any number of instances where knowing how things work is useful.  I like knowing how an airplane flies, how my circulation system works, how to change a tire and other information.  But when it comes to manifesting through conscious reality creation, figuring out “how” it works gets in the way.

Simply put, every single book I have read or listened to says the same thing.  You begin with thought, then give that thought feeling, and from there take intentional actions to move things forward.  Simple enough, except often exactly HOW this will work is unknown.

I want to be a bestselling author.  That’s my thought.  I strive to feel what that will feel like, feel how it will affect my life, my moods, my thinking, my finances.  I work to feel it in the now, to really be truly aware of what it feels like.  Then, I take actions that tie in, with the intent of making it manifest.

Questioning how.

How is this going to work?  Then how will I turn my existing work into bestsellers?  How do I make money from this?  Then how do I promote myself to get known?  All of these questions begin with the same word – HOW.  Because I cannot see how to get from where I am to where I want to be, I move forward at a snail’s pace, or less.

The Secret sums up the conscious creation process thus: Ask, Believe, Receive.  Ask for what I want, Believe I already have it, and then Receive it.  I know this is how manifestation works…but I still seek to know more detailed HOW.

Is this a lack of faith?

I am a proponent of logic.  Science and reason offer truth.  However, I am all for faith, but not to the exclusion of reason.  Blind Faith was a great band, but is not a great way to approach life, the universe and everything.

The universe is full of infinite possibility.  My faith in this comes from proof I’ve witnessed with my own eyes, and is not blind.  But my need to understand how, seeking logic and reason in the illogical, causes a paradox that complicates my work to live the life I most desire to.

It all ties into my need to feel more thoroughly.  Faith is a feeling.  I need to have faith that this is possible, and that how it will come about is not something to concern myself with.  I need to feel that this is real, that I have achieved it, and believe that it’s mine.  There needs to be faith that I am capable of manifesting this.  Conscious reality creation.

I know that this will not supplant my need to understand how.  That’s a part of my nature.  But knowing that my preoccupation with “how” interferes with my paths is an important step.  I have become aware of this matter.  Awareness is part of conscious reality creation, so I can work with this to move forward.

Think.  Feel.  Actions.

More meditation.  I need to take more pauses in the day to be truly aware of what I am thinking and feeling, and work on keeping my eye on the prize.  I know I can do this.  There is no need for me to know how, I just need to feel it through.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.


GOAL LOG – Week 31:

The goal log has not been fully maintained this week, as I am attending the Pennsic War.


This is the forty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

What Happens When the “Other Shoe” Drops?

When the other shoe drops, do you pick it up?

I have been anticipating this situation for several months now.  I had hoped to depart on my own terms, but I suspected this was coming.  So it was not much of a surprise.

The job I have held for the past year, and been duly grateful for, has come to an end.  Now my eight hours a day in a place where I was all-too-often bored, and frequently unhappy, is no more.

I am not upset nor angry about this.  Rather, I am seeing it as an opportunity to move my life forward.  Consciousness creates reality, and I know what it is I want to create.  There are bridges I want to cross, and cross them I will.

Since I was let go from the job, I have made excellent use of my time.  A while back I created a schedule I called A Day in the Life – The Life I Most Desire.  In that schedule I laid out my work day (starting at 8:30am), giving myself time for writing and editing, exercise, reading, lunch.  I even gave myself time to goof off in the morning, play games, put my brain in gear at my own pace.

How will this make me money?  That is not what I am currently focused on.  I am concerned with living life in the manner I have long desired, and from this action find everything I need to live as fully as I can.

Can I sustain this?  That remains to be seen.  I am striving to find a way, because this is how I want my life to be.

Can I make money doing what I love?

This is the elephant in the room, the question that most needs to be answered.  Can I work this all out so that I will make money doing this?  How can I make this happen?  Is there a way I can get this blog to make money; more books to sell; other options that involve writing for money?

The first step in manifestation is believing.  Faith, which I mentioned before, is important to conscious reality creation.  Most of all, faith in myself as a creator, and from there faith in the Universe.  Faith in my belief in conscious reality creation and manifestation.

I know that this works, as I have made it work before.  I need to apply it to now, to my life as it currently is, and to become whom I want to be.  To do that I have to think it, feel it, take actions like following this schedule I created to make it so.

The Secret approaches conscious reality creation with different words – Ask, Believe and Receive.  Action for the thought – ask; for the feeling, believe; for the intentional action, receive.  In thinking about this life I want to live, I am asking of myself to become a professional, full-time writer.  When it comes to feeling, I am believing that I have made this manifest.  Lastly, my actions are a reflection of my receiving what I have asked for.

Where do I go from here?

Now that I am not spending most of my waking hours in a place where I was unhappy, I am better able to feel positive, to feel how it feels to succeed at what I want.  Yes, I could dwell on the loss of my salary and changes to my benefits, but in what way will that be healthy?  I instead am making a choice to take this situation and make the very best of it that I can.

Life is too short to spend so much of it unhappy.  How come we accept so readily that this is what work is meant to be?  I know that I need to make money to pay for the things I want and need in life, but do I have to miserable making it?  Why do we so easily accept that at face value?

I think somewhere along the way we, as a society, have lost sight of what we work for.  We are not on this planet for the limited time we get to be here just to go through the motions, we are here to live.  We are here to experience life, good and bad, up and down, in all its amazing glory.  Spending eight or more hours every day in a place that leaves us exhausted, unhappy and stressed does not make any sense.

Yet we all know that we have to earn money, and to earn money we have to work.  The goal is often to earn as much money as possible, and that being the case we will take the jobs that pay the most and offer the best benefits, even when they do not make us happy.  That’s the standard way we do it.

I am not a standard person.

I have never been “normal”, whatever that means.  My life has regularly involved partaking of a different path, a unique way of being – sometimes by choice, but in my youth more often by circumstance.  For example, I didn’t choose for my parents to divorce when it was an uncommon thing in the 1980’s.  It was not my choice to be a part of the relatively small Jewish community in the ‘burbs of Minneapolis, surrounded by a majority of Lutherans.  I chose to pursue theatre in my high school rather than with the local JCC.  Then I chose to be the only graduate of my HS to attend Ithaca College in New York State.

Before I understood intentional actions and conscious reality creation, I frequently did unusual things.  I made choices that were entirely my own.  But due to my lack of understanding about conscious reality creation, I frequently have experienced being the square peg attempting to fit into the round hole.  I need to leave no room for doubt, and create the life I most desire.

Sometimes this is more challenging than not, but I am going to make it work.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!


GOAL LOG – Week 30:

Diet:  I’ve been pretty good this week overall, following a weekend of not as good.

Exercise:  Fencing one day, four days of various exercise at the gym, and an afternoon of swimming.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred; I did some work on my sci-fi novel.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 5 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on five days last week.


This is the forty-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Please take a moment to click the subscribe button (even if you did so before the blog was reformatted) and sign up for my newsletters!  Thank you!

Pathwalking 145

Pathwalking is not just an intellectual concept, it is also a spiritual and an emotional endeavor. I have stated rather frequently that to walk any given path you have to not only think about it, but you have to feel it, and you have to desire it.

What’s the difference between the intellectual, spiritual and emotional?

The intellectual is the easiest to examine. This is your thought process, this is your continued education. Intellect is a matter of learning, it is how you develop and grow in your world, and it is how you change from one way of being into another. It is all about how you think, and what you think about.

The emotional is the next easiest to examine. This is your feeling process, this is how you react to the world around you every day. Emotion is a matter of feeling, it is how you know happy from sad, good from bad, love from hate. Emotion is all about your feelings, and your ability to not only hold them to yourself but to share them with others.

The spiritual is the most complex to examine, yet may actually be the simplest. This is your belief system, this is your faith. I am not talking about religion – that is a wholly other institution. Spirituality is about your ability to see a larger, wider, deeper, more layered world around you. Spirituality is believing in yourself, it is faith, whether that faith is in yourself, your friends, a higher power, the universe or what-have-you.

Intellect and emotion have a more finite number of expressions to them than spirituality. As such they are a lot easier to quantify. I can see not only in myself but in others how they think and feel. But spirituality? That is something so vastly different for each of us that this may well be what causes the greatest divide amongst humanity.

People who share a similar spirituality often form communities together, and these have become religions. I have nothing against the idea of organized religion, where I take exception is when you decide your way is the ONLY way, and the rest of us either must convert, die, or go somewhere extremely unpleasant after we’ve died. This is a perfect example of an outside influence trying to tell you what path to follow.

Spiritual is not religious. It is all about your faith and belief in something. It might be simply yourself. I am constantly amazed by how many of us suffer a fairly substantial lack of faith in ourselves. I can readily believe in my friends, and I believe in a universe with far more impressive power than we easily see or can comprehend. But myself? I don’t always hold great faith in myself.

This aspect of Pathwalking is difficult to put into words. It is also of far more import than most people will give it. The intellectual aspects of Pathwalking can be easily explained, and the emotional, though they require being felt, the idea of that is easy to parse out. But the spiritual is at a level that is much harder to make reason of.

A lot of people get turned off by this idea. Spirituality has been too often linked to religion and morality and as such becomes a hot-button issue. Faith and belief are not simply matters of any of the religious institutions of the world, they are far more personal and tied into both intellect and emotion.

Spirit is in many ways always encompassing the intellectual and the emotional. Logic and reason can often waylay feeling and emotion, often stand in opposition to one another. Sometimes the balance is struck by spirit. When you have faith in whatever your faith is in, that will provide the deciding factor when intellect and emotion are in conflict.

It is fascinating just how incredibly simple this really all is. But we love to make things complex. We want to break things down so thoroughly that we wind up ignoring the simplicity inherent in the universe. In our quest for understanding we lose touch with the beauty and simplicity of it all.

We quest to learn more about our world. We want to feel our experiences throughout life. These often cause us to lose sight of our faith and our beliefs, and as such throws us off balance. Recognizing this will help us to better seek, understand, and ultimately walk our paths.

My personal faith has changed and shifted over the course of my life. For me, focus on the here-and-now has become more important to my existence, and rather than worry about the past or work on the future, I need to put greater emphasis on now. I believe in the idea of walking my own path, and I have faith that I am able to find and choose it for myself.

I could go into far greater depth about my own personal spirituality – but mine is NOT the same as yours. More than that, I respect that your faith is not the same, whatever it is. But having a spiritual base along with the intellectual and the emotional will allow you to truly make choices for the best paths you can travel upon.

What do you consider your own faith to be in?


This is the one-hundred forty fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 144

Even though Pathwalking is for yourself, sometimes you will encounter guides along your way.

Yes, I recognize that this is an inherent paradox. I often have talked about how Pathwalking is a solo process. And yet now I am putting it out there that from time to time you will encounter guides.

What about being wary of outside influences?

Not every outside influence is a bad thing. The issue with outside influences comes when you allow them to dominate your thought process and to have the control of your life that Pathwalking is intended to take. Your destiny is yours to control, and that is where wariness of outside influence becomes so important.

Sometimes, though, outside influences provide context, provide new viewpoints and direction you cannot find on your own.

This is particularly true when we come to the topic of guides.

What is a guide, and how is a guide different from a negative outside influence?

A guide is someone or something that helps you make your choices and assert your own empowerment of your life. Guides come in a number of different and unrelated forms.

There might be an informative book, which gives you new avenues and new ideas to help you along your way. It might be a blog, like this one, offering helpful suggestions and ideas to assist you to find, experience, and ultimately navigate your path.

I have taken elements of many different guides such as this as I have walked my path. The ideas from The Secret and from Tony Robbins and Paulo Coelho and many others have helped me to learn that there is a broader, more incredible universe than I could possibly have imagined on my own, beyond my own rather expansive imagination. THIS world holds wonders even more incredible than those I have dreamed up for my fictional worlds, and I have been shown this in unique ways by different writers and philosophers.

These guides helped me to create my own philosophy, and to choose to begin my own walk along my own path. From these resources I have created Pathwalking, with which I want to live the life I would most desire to choose for myself.

Another guide might be a teacher, a close friend, a family member, a lover, a guru. There might be some mentor to whom you can turn for guidance, who might provide you with insights you have not come across on your own. There might be someone who can open you up to new worlds, show you their own ways and help you to uncover your own.

This can take several forms, from going to a teacher in order to learn a specific thing to a casual comment that unlocks something previously hidden to even an argument that can open your eyes to a new path. A guide may be someone completely unexpected, who may even be initially perceive as being a negative outside influence, yet who helps you on your path.

Guides will invariably turn up along your path. You will know the difference between a guide and a negative outside influence by how they make you feel. Yes, even if the guide seems to be showing you a negative, when you have taken in what they have shared, you will know. A guide gives you information that makes you want to say “Yes! That’s it! I’ve got it! That’s right!” and similar positive affirmations. A negative influence makes you want to say “No, that’s not right. That can’t be it. This feels wrong. I don’t think so,” and similar negative statements.

When you are immersed in walking your path, and you are wholly aware not only of the goal, but of the journey along the way, you will be attuned to your destiny. When your heart and mind and soul are in sync, you will know the difference in how you feel if you are dealing with a guide versus a negative outside influence. The information will resonate with you, and it will make perfect sense, as though you have always known it…even when you didn’t.

Sometimes we seek guides. You might be stuck and in need of a new idea or a different direction when you come across a program or the works of some writer, or when a friend posts something online that provides guidance. There is always something new to be shared, and guides can help us to learn what we might need and want.

Though I walk this path on my own, and only I can choose my destiny and control my actions and emotions, I am not alone. I have found different guides from different sources, and I use these to enrich my path and to help me find what is best for me. I know that this can and will change, and I know that I might encounter a different guide along the way to help me choose a new direction.

So long as you are the decision maker, a guide can be unbelievably helpful along your path. When you are calm, relaxed and at peace you will best know if you are in the presence of a guide or otherwise.

What guides will help you along your path?


This is the one-hundred forty fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 143

Why are you on this path?

The path you are on, right now, as you read this, why are you on it?

Did you choose this path for yourself? Did someone else choose it for you? Did you stumble upon this path, or was there effort and conscious direction when you decided to travel upon it?

I have probably asked all of these questions before. If they are being repeated, that is because they are so deeply important. If you want to be a conscious Pathwalker, then these are questions you need to ask.

Everybody is a Pathwalker. Yes, everybody. We are all on paths, sometimes singular, sometimes numerous, but everyone everywhere is on a path.

The difference between calling yourself a Pathwalker and being a pathwalker is choice. Did you make a conscious decision about the path you wish to be on, or did the path choose you? Are you the architect of your own destiny, or are you letting life live you as it will?

This is the reason it is so important to ask – Why are you on this path?

The notion of Pathwalking is to choose your destiny. It is about choosing what you are doing in this life, where you are going to, and more importantly where you are now.

It is so very easy to just let life live you. Go with the flow. Fall into the pattern. Find and live the routine. Choose your own paradigm or metaphor, but making the conscious choice for your own path is difficult. There are more challenges, and more obstacles, and more complications when you choose your own path.

At least, that is how it seems. The truth is, there are fewer challenges, the obstacles are less seemingly insurmountable, and the complications are more manageable when you are choosing your own path. Why? Because when you have chosen a path for yourself, you know what it is you want, and you know why “this” path in particular.

Why are you on this path? The answer is usually because you want to take control of your life, and you want to ultimately be happy. No one would consciously choose a path that will deny them control of their life and ultimately make them miserable. Even the most self-sacrificing person doesn’t truly want that for themselves. The self-sacrificing do what they do in the interest of the happiness of others, that’s true…but the happiness of others, they believe, is what, when all is said and done, will bring THEM happiness.

You cannot make other people happy when you are not happy. It really is that simple. Again, this is why no one would choose a path to misery consciously.

There are as many paths as you can conceive. Pretty much any limitations you encounter are there because you have allowed them to be.

You cannot just have, be or do ANYTHING. There are ALWAYS limits. Not everyone can be President of the United States!

This is totally true. But that is because not everyone wants to BE President. Very few people well and truly want the grandiose. Many people say they want to be famous, or they want to be someone everybody knows. But I believe that what most people want is, relatively speaking, simple. We want to be comfortable, we want to be loved, we want to be happy.

Pathwalking is about figuring out what it is you want. If you want something grandiose and incredible, if you really want it and can put the effort and the energy and the passion and desire and willpower into it, it is possible. Easy? Probably not. But that does not mean it is not worth having – if that is the path you want to take.

Why are you on this path? Is the journey satisfying you? Is the path you are walking across now leading to a goal or goals you truly wish to achieve? These are the questions we must ask ourselves, to truly find and walk the trails we most desire.

There are days this is really hard. There are days where I question everything, I debate if I have chosen well or poorly, I wonder why I am on this path. When I ask why, I give myself the necessary nudge to contemplate and analyze my path, and determine if the answer continues to suit me.

When you can answer why you are on the path you are on, and you find that the answer makes you feel content, makes you feel right, seems to be correct…you have chosen a good path. When the answer makes you feel distressed, makes you feel wrong, seems to be off…you may not have chosen a good path for you, and it may be time to reevaluate, and consider another option.

Why are you on this path? The answer will be different for everyone, but chances are the bones remain the same. You want to choose for yourself, you want to take control over your own destiny, you want to ultimately enjoy your journey and find happiness along the way.

Why are you on this path?


This is the one-hundred forty third entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 142

During the course of Pathwalking, I have frequently spoken about creating your own life.

In walking your own path, one of the ideas is to control your destiny, and manifest the life you most want.

There are obstacles, distractions, problems, complications, bumps and twists and turns along any given path. The journey, I have often stressed, is of equal if not greater import than the goal. Living in the here and now is vitally important to the end goal of your paths.

The Universe is an abundant, impossibly immense, unpredictable place. As we are all one, we are attuned to The Universe, and it speaks to us in many ways. There are messages, sometimes obvious, sometimes softer than a whisper, telling us that we can have the things we want.

As we have evolved, we have actually lost our ability to hear The Universe. We are just tool-using animals, but when all is said and done our basic needs are food, shelter and propagation of the species. All the rest of nature has instincts, which are based in part on the messages The Universe is delivering constantly.

The point I am trying to make here is that we have to be conscious of what it is we really want. We can manifest pretty much anything we desire, but there are several factors we have to take into consideration that are not so much limitations as fixed variables beyond our control.

Most importantly, we cannot change other people. We cannot force anyone to do our bidding, to think as we think. The world is filled with people who want nothing less than to ultimately control every aspect of the lives of others, usually through fear. People want you to be whom they want you to be, and they might even go to outrageous extremes to achieve that.

Whether on a grand scale or a smaller one, we have no control over how other people think, how other people act, and how other people live. Yet we still often want to manifest things that are dependent on the actions of others, and that is the danger I am explaining here.

I can choose for me, and for me alone. I can share my journey as I walk my path. I can make choices on that journey that will undoubtedly change how those around me think, but what I have no control over is the what of that change. I cannot think for anyone else, and I should not be focused on influencing anyone and their choices.

When I share Pathwalking, I am not in any way trying to get you to live as I do. My paths are not your paths. What I do hope is that I might be opening up your mind to all the possibilities I can see with mine.

When I go about working to create my own life, I do have to take into account the people who are in it. My friends and my family have their own paths, and while I would not do anything to interfere with them, I know that some of my choices may be seen as such. I also know that yes, my choices of paths may not align with theirs, and that may be the cause of friction. That does not mean that my choices should be unduly influenced by the choices of others.

It is important to remember that we need to be more tolerant, and frankly more accepting of the differences between us. We all want different things, different people, different goals from one another. It is easy to get caught up in the idea of the “normal” and “society”. But when all is said and done, no matter what the tangible or intangible goal of the path might be, we want to be free. We want to be happy.

I believe that ultimately we seek happiness. Every path, every goal is to find happiness, joy, passion, fulfillment. When the day is done we want to feel successful, we want to feel accomplished, and we want to be happy. That is what we want to feel more than anything else.

Evolution of the species is a good thing. There is always something new to learn, there will always be a way to grow and change. We can think and act and perform way beyond the basic instincts of the rest of the animal kingdom, but in so doing we should also try to keep in touch with the messages that The Universe is trying to deliver to us. The messages for me are not the same as those for you, but in either case they are communicating abundance, hope, love, and happiness.

That is how you know you are on a good Path. You feel it. You know you are receiving that message from The Universe. There is no struggle, within or without. You are energized, content, and happy to be taking on the challenges before you.

When you are working on manifesting your goals, remember to be specific about what you really want. Make certain what you are trying to manifest is about you, and not about other people around you. That will go a long ways towards creating your own destiny, and taking control over your own paths.

Are your current goals about yourself?


This is the one-hundred forty second entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 141

It never ceases to amaze me how readily I can lose my focus.

For a while I can be a champion. I can successfully manifest what I want, no question, no difficulty, I can do it. I can see all the possibility, all the probability, all the reality of what I am capable of. I am amazed, excited, enthusiastic, and ready to tackle the world and everything that could possibly get in my way.

And then it is gone. I am lethargic, I am weary, I am out of cope. I cannot decide what I want, I am full of questions and difficulties and I cannot see how to do it. I can see possibility, but not probability, and I question the how of it all. I am frustrated, unenthused, and wondering if I have it all wrong and the world will defeat me when all is said and done.

Why am I unable to remain the former, and so often mired in the latter? How come it is so much harder to find and hold onto that feeling of empowerment than to let the weight of the world weigh you down?

I think it boils down to focus. When I take control of my life, and I work on my focus and sharpening it to crystal clear precision I can walk the path of my choosing. But when I let my focus wane, or I let myself drift and get caught up in worries and concerns I should not, I lose my power and find myself right where I began.

Except I am not where I began. I am a Pathwalker. I know how this can work, I know what I can do with it. I have made numerous choices in who I am and what I do and how I do these things for my life, and I know I can have it how I want it. I just have to regain my focus and not let myself be diverted.

I am sure it comes as no surprise when I say that this is easier said than done.

How do I regain my focus after it has been lost? I have been asking that question for some time now, and the answer really boils down to practice. There are practices that I can do that will help in this department. The trick of course is actually doing them, and not just paying them lip service.

Equally important is to cease practices that are detrimental to focus. I would LOVE to play any number of online multi-person video games…but as I already have issues with maintaining focus, this would be a TERRIBLE idea. I’d never get anything else done again, I’d become focused on my distraction.

This brings up another issue – false focus. There are all sorts of things upon which I can lavish my attentions, but if they are not the things that will let me focus on creating the life I want to live and the world I want to live in, it’s no wonder I wind up back in that place of defeatism.

The question becomes – what practices should I work at to reclaim my focus? I am going to share what I need to do in order to get back my focus. The things that are taking my attention away are going to be different from the things that might be taking YOUR attentions away, but the concept is similar.

There is one primary idea that will help you achieve this.

Rewrite the internal dialogue. This is HUGE, and the most difficult but of course most important idea for reclaiming focus. The inner dialogue is often deeply imbedded, and highly sub-conscious. It just lingers in the background. However, it is ALWAYS there, always running, always in motion. I am always in communication with myself, and there is always stuff going on inside my head.

It is very easy to let the internal dialogue simply run its course unchecked. However, it is HERE that the loss of focus begins. Also, it is here the lack of focus begins. The reasons are many, but I believe they largely stem from outside influences. World news, family matters, coworker difficulties, financial challenges, negative reinforcements bombarding us constantly. If we do not pay attention to what is affecting us, the subconscious might get focused on problems instead of solutions.

The internal dialogue starts to feed on the negativity, and lo and behold I am feeling disempowered again. So I need to not let the internal dialogue run free, I need to leash it up and redirect it to walk the path. I need to consciously take control over my subconscious inner dialogue, and start focusing on what I want.

How do you rewrite the inner dialogue? Positive practices. I know several positive practices that work for me. I write Pathwalking and Positivity weekly. But I need to return to reading daily, and to writing fiction daily. I was really good with that for a while – and then I got distracted, and it fell away. I need to take back control of my diet, and start being conscientious of what I am eating again. I need to exercise more regularly, and even if I don’t hit the gym or have fencing I need to be doing stretches and crunches daily. I need to take at least two minutes a day to meditate.

These positive physical practices help the mental practices. The mind, body and spirit are interconnected. Positive practices will help your subconscious to stay focused on what it is you want. When you keep your focus, and your internal dialogue is all about CAN DO and positive reinforcement instead of negative, you can change the world.

It may only be your small corner of the world, but hey, in theory, if I am running more positive and you see it, and decide that you want to run more positive, and then your friends see it, and then they decide to run more positive…we CAN change the world. It will take time, it will not work for anyone who does not want to change. But the most important thing to remember here is that your life, your path, is yours to be lived…and you should be capable of great things, and ultimately happiness.

I know what I have to do. Now comes the hardest part. Doing it.

Do or do not…there is no try.” – Yoda.

What positive practices will help you reclaim lost focus?


This is the one-hundred forty first entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 140

Positivity is vitally important to Pathwalking.

Last week I began to explore this, and discussed at length when you know you are feeling predominantly negative what you need to do. After you identify the what and how and why, and determine which aspects of these you have any control over, you proceed to find a way to change the emotion you are feeling.

As I stated before, the means that works for dealing with this today may not work at all tomorrow. What works for me might not work for you. But like many aspects of our shared existence, there are universal archetypes we can delve into in order to explore and find solutions to this.

I touched on the idea of distractions. Sometimes you need a distraction to reset your emotions. It might be mental, like reading a book or playing a video game, it might be physical like a workout at a gym or eating something or taking a drive or such. It might be emotional, like sitting to meditate or closing your eyes and listening to music or sitting beside a body of water and watching and listening to it flowing. It can certainly be a combination of these.

Sadly, all too often a distraction is too momentary, and once you leave it the negativity you have been feeling reclaims you. Sometimes the positivity of a distraction will carry forward, but as nothing has been done about the root of the negativity, more than likely it will not. You were able to get away from the what and how and why that are making you feel negative, but you have not done anything to deal with it at its root.

How do you deal with the root? What can you do about the what and how and why? I have to admit here that I do not fully know the answer to this question. What’s more, as I have stated before, the answer today may very well fail me tomorrow. But there are some over-arching ideas that can be applied in order to achieve the intended goal of turning away from negativity to positivity.

Deal with the aspects of the what how and why you can control. Identify what you can claim control over. What aspects of the what how and why can you control? It may only be a part of one, or the whole of one, or aspects of all of these, but when you can identify what you have control of, you can do something with and about it.

If in the process of identifying what you have control of you realize that the answer is none, then you need to evaluate your feelings on the matter. Getting emotionally invested in something over which you have no real control starts you down a slippery slope, and you will find yourself working with things you can’t do anything about. Getting emotional and negative over things completely outside of your control can happen, but when it does you need to evaluate that, and take back your emotional state.

Seek out help for the aspects you cannot control. Let’s be blunt a moment here – you may be in need of therapy. If you realize you are emotional about things you have zero control over, you might be in need of help. While professional help is critical for many people, sometimes all you need is a sympathetic ear. You might just need to talk it all out with someone, so you can purge the negative emotions and start fresh.

Pathwalking, I state again and again, is an individual process. However, that does not mean you have no choice but to go it alone. There is no shame in admitting you need and then seeking out help. Frankly, there are numerous times that getting help would resolve matters more easily, and it should not be avoided.

Find and create shifters. There are concepts, ideas, and intangibles that should be stored in the memory which serve to “shift” your mood. I can think of no one who does not have a memory that instantly makes them smile. Have some of these readily available, so that you can call them up and examine them in the mind’s eye to shift your mood.

For some it helps to add another element. A taste, a smell, a visual, a touch, a sound that will awaken that memory, and help you to shift your emotional state. There are different shifters for different moments and moods, but this is something easily neglected but really helpful to have in place.

Change your path. Maybe your state of dissatisfaction is a sign. Maybe you are not on the path you should be. Maybe you are so focused on your current path you are not seeing other choices, or maybe you are wandering aimlessly and don’t even realize it. I have said before and will likely say again that paths are always fluid. However, it is REALLY easy to become so enamored of a given path, you put on blinders and walk it even when it is not working.

This can manifest as negativity. You become distraught, you get overwhelmed, you start feeling unhappy far more frequently than you feel happy. If you find this happening to you, you need to consider all of your options, and the path you are on now may be the problem.

The important thing to remember is that you have options…lots and lots of options. No one is trapped unless they allow themselves to become so. If you have fallen into the pit of negativity, and you are having difficulties in overcoming that feeling, remember that you are not alone and there is ALWAYS a way to be found.

Do you feel predominantly positive or negative?


This is the one-hundred fortieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 139

It is vitally important that you work on a positive attitude when Pathwalking.

I have mentioned rather frequently that positivity is terribly important. If you do not remain positive, you might find yourself easily trapped in any number of undesired matters.

Yet there are going to be days where remaining positive feels impossible. No matter what you do to restore your mindset, you just feel…off. You feel blue.

This is particularly rough if, like me, you might be known to suffer from depression from time to time.

Distractions can only do so much. I cannot tell you how much time I will give to a lame video game either on Facebook or my iPhone. For a time, it takes my mind away from the things that are making me feel negative. But that is not long enough, and the negativity returns.

Why is positivity better than negativity? Simply because like attracts like. “Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny,” Yoda told us. If you allow the negative to take root, it will continue to build and grow, and instead of a strong base of positive attitude, you have one of negative. Positivity is growth and development, while negativity is stagnation and decay. Which do you prefer?

What do I need to do in order to set these things aside and let positivity dominate my thoughts?

The first challenge is to identify the what. What is it that is making me feel like this? It can be as simple as sleepiness or hunger or such. But in all likelihood it is a thing, such as news that I have read or financial concerns or a tangible or semi-tangible outside influence having its effect on me.

Without a doubt the what can easily be more than one thing, or any combination of all of these. We are complex, multifaceted creatures, you and I. So while there may be a singular answer the odds are it’s a combination of matters. Determining the what is the first step.

Once I know the what, the next matter is determining the why. Why is this matter or these matters bothering me? Why are these things making me feel negative, and why are they dominating my attitude? Why?

Along this same line comes the determination of the how. How is this making me feel negative? Is it due to something I can or cannot control? Is it anger, fear, frustration or such? How is this negative thing making me feel negative?

The questions of what, why and how can really open up the root of the problem. Currently, it is a combination for me of fear and frustration. A situation I am in has triggered certain fear responses, and at the same time the what of the matter is a cause of consternation. These negative emotions are very very powerful, and the knowledge of the power of negativity over Pathwalking and my want to be happy actually magnifies the frustration.

So I know what, I know why, and I know how. I know what is causing me to feel negative, and I know how and why I am feeling this way. The trick now is to do something about it.

The first question is – is the what in this situation within my control? Whether partial or total control, this will help me determine if there is anything to be done about the matter of what.

Second question – is the why and how of this under my control? The why and how may be separate and apart, so while the one may be in my control the other may not. The why in my current situation is causing me to feel certain emotions, and those negative emotions are the how. I cannot control the why, but I can take charge over the how.

Which brings me to the third question – based on the what and why and how, what can I do? What am I empowered to do in this matter to change my mindset, escape from the negativity and return my focus to positivity?

This presents to me the single greatest challenge I routinely face. My mind gets trapped within negative thoughts and emotions, and I have to fight to focus on the positive I need to manifest the life I want, and walk my chosen path. I have been struggling with this all my life, really, and more so since I began Pathwalking.

The truth is that I have no definitive answer. What’s more, what works for me one day may not work on another. The means to return my mind to positivity today fails completely tomorrow. And just to add another complication, even if I had a surefire means that worked for me, chances are it might not work for you.

I skipped a workout at the gym today to sit outside at a picnic table and write this out. It has not wholly pulled me from the negativity I have been fighting, but it has given me perspective. That is important, because without perspective, I cannot begin to work on changing negativity to positivity, and more successfully walking my path.

I will continue this exploration next week. Thank you for continuing to be a part of my path, as you travel upon your own paths.

Do you see why positivity is important to Pathwalking?


This is the one-hundred thirty ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 138

There is some scary stuff happening in the world around us right now.

In the United States we have this surreal situation in Missouri. I had really thought we left the hatred and fear and racism of the 1960’s back in the 20th century, but we seem to have all of that back again here and now.

In the Ukraine we have separatists who are likely backed by the Russians stirring up nationalistic troubles.

The Israelis and Palestinians of the Gaza Strip cannot come to peace and are killing one another once again.

As if that wasn’t enough, we are inundated with news of various acts of nature like storms and wildfires and potential volcanic eruptions and such. To call it all disheartening is an understatement.

All of these awful things beg one question. Why bother? Why bother to make and choose a path in this life when so many random awful things can interfere and disrupt that path?

The simple answer – because we have no control over these things. I cannot control what is happening in the world, I cannot control the actions of others.

I CAN, however, control my own actions, my own choices, my own destiny. In fact, this is one of the few things in the world over which I have nearly absolute control.

So what? You might go on and question, Isn’t control over anything at all an illusion? Plain and simple – no. While there are a finite number of things in life we have control over, control is not just an illusion.

I can control my emotions. I can control where I place myself in the world at large. I can control whom I associate with, and what I do with the people I spend time with in my life. I can control what I do with my time, and I can control day to do who I am. Certainly there are times this is not so easy, and without a doubt sometimes these are difficult matters, but I am still in control of them none-the-less.

I know there are finer points and semantics to be argued on this topic. Sometimes controlling how you feel is difficult at best due to outside influences. If I am lacking in money where I will be might be limited. Despite the control we can choose to wield, sometimes we still do not, even arguably cannot take it for ourselves.

Pathwalking is about finding and choosing your own path in life. It is making your own way in the world, discovering and exploring your own destiny. I have reiterated the point time and again that Pathwalking is about taking control over who you are, and what you do in this life.

Being inundated by so much negative and unsettling news can really do a number on you. And while it is good to stay informed, it is not necessary to let ourselves be overwhelmed. There is ALWAYS something happening out there that will rile us up, make us angry, make us upset and frustrated. I am not stating that as a negative thing, just a fact. That’s simply the nature of the media and our modern instantaneous news cycle. But since we can control how we allow ourselves to feel, we can choose to not let this affect us.

Again, I am not at all suggesting anyone be ignorant of the world around them. But we all need to keep more open minds, and we need to focus less on what we cannot control, and more over what we can. It is certainly a possibility that some world event will directly effect a course you might choose. It may be part of your path to join a protest or start an organization to do something about a problem in this world. Pathwalking recognizes no limits to possibilities.

I also believe that if we focus more on the things we can control, and we spend more time on our own lives and our own happiness, that will have its own impact on the world. Many of the scary things out there have to do with disempowerment and misery and sadness. People caught up in terrible situations who have no control, swept up in situations that leave little to no room for personal control or escape. I believe that the more empowerment we take, the less we will be caught in out-of-control extremes.

Watching and reading and discussion all the dark and scary world events around us feeds them energy. Go ahead and learn about them, but don’t linger with them. If we take them into ourselves and let these things become a part of our paths, we are giving away empowerment. I know I do not like the feeling of being powerless, and I am pretty certain that neither do you. Nor does anyone.

Let’s focus on our own lives, and the paths we are walking. We can be mindful of the world around us, and all that is happening, but we should not allow those things to dominate our thoughts and actions…unless that IS our path.

Lastly – if you find you have been thrown from your path by an outside influence such as world events, don’t feed negativity and annoyance and anger and frustration at the problem, or more importantly at yourself. Remember, that negativity impacts your path and your ability to walk it. Let it go, and focus instead on empowering your life. We all have days that are bad, we all get distracted from our paths by various influences, and we all make choices that prove to be wrong. Don’t let that throw you off…take a deep breath, release it and keep moving forward.

We can control if we learn of these things and continue walking our paths, or if we let them overwhelm us and shake us from what we want to do.

How do you take your news, and how do you let it influence your Pathwalk?


This is the one-hundred thirty eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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