The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Pathwalking 18

When fear interferes with your attempt at Pathwalking, how do you overcome it?

This is a really difficult question.  Fear, an intangible, never quite feels the same.  Different fears produce different reactions.  But I believe it can still be overcome by any number of processes.

The first step is to analyze it.  What am I fearing?  Why am I fearing it?  Is my fear warranted, or nothing but a visceral reaction?  What should I do about the fear?  Can this fear be ignored, disregarded, or does it need to be heeded?

The next step is to apply some logic and reason.  What is the root of the fear?  Is this really something I should be fearful of, or should I work to disregard it?  Rational or irrational?  Is the thing I am afraid of really the origin of my fear, or is it something else?  Do I fight, or do I flee?

I’ve analyzed it, I’ve applied logic and reason to it, so the next step is – what do I do about it?  Fight it, give in to it, or flee from it?  Not an easy question.  And, unsurprisingly, not easy to answer.

This is a particularly raw topic for me.  I have been asking exactly this question for some time now.  And it has recently been REALLY driven home for me.  I am writing these pathwalking entries to help others with this idea, and also to help guide myself in the process.  It is hard to walk the walk as much as I can talk the talk (or, as the case is here, write the thought).

From my own experience, most of my fear comes from a fear of failure, a fear of success, and a fear of rejection (and, tagged onto the rejection, abandonment).  These are utterly intangible fears, and overcoming them requires a combination of leaps of faith, distractions from the fear, and assertion over the fear that logic is correct.  I have to fight back against the fear.

Yes, of course, fear is a natural human mechanism to help us be safe.  But there is a large difference between tangible things to be afraid of (like wild animals threatening to attack you in the jungle), and the intangible things like failure and success.  The former is a something we need to be mindful of, while the latter is a completely invisible entity.

And yet it is the intangible that most of us are going to face today.  It is the invisible boogey-men that make the heart palpitate, the palms sweat, and that gives you that sad, debilitating pit-of-your-stomach-dropping-out sensation.  It is one of the most overwhelming sensations you can feel.

Again, there are really three options for dealing with this (ever notice how so very many things in life are in threes?)  Each of these options has certain pros and cons to it, but really only one will truly bring satisfaction:

Give in.  Sure, let that fear paralyze you.  Let the fear overwhelm you, drive you to your bed in your cave under the covers, hiding from everyone and everything.  Of course, if you make this choice, you will always be a victim of your fear, and there will be no other response to it available to you.  This becomes a vicious circle.

Flee.  Run away.  Find all the distractions you can to avoid the fear.  Do whatever it takes to drive the fear away.  The trouble with this, though, is that while you might escape for a time, you will have to confront and deal with the fear eventually.  This can work, but it is fraught with uncertainty, and can lead to being overwhelmed, and giving in.  A continuation of the previous vicious circle.

Fight.  Face your fear.  As the Litany against Fear from Frank Herbert’s Dune says, “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”  Confront the fear, overcome the fear, and then you can move forward.  This alone is the one way to truly take control, and not have the obstacle of fear dissuade you from your path.

Brave words.  Easy to read, easy to consider…not so easy to practice.  I want to walk my own path, and I will not let my fears stand in my way.  I am worthy of the challenges, of success, and I WILL NOT FAIL.  This is the key.  This is MY means to fight the fear.

Practice makes perfect.

 

This is the eighteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

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