Planning is all well-and-good. It’s the actions that I find frequently challenging.
The purpose of this particular blog is to share personal accountability as I do the things I do to live the life I most desire to live. Positivity is specifically sharing positive things to combat negativity while Pathwalking is more specifically about the mechanics of my conscious reality creation process. Crossing the Bridges is my personal journey, and the challenges as I take it.
I have written about challenges in the process of crossing the bridges, figuratively getting stuck, literally self-sabotaging and such. One of the other challenges I face with this is taking the inspired actions in order to complete the manifestation process.
I have written before about my great skill in planning. I can make plans ‘til the cows come home. Yet when it comes to acting on plans, I frequently find myself coming up short, and then getting distressed because of that.
Conscious Reality Creation involves thought, feeling and action. For the longest time I was really, really good at the thought process. This is where the planning comes in. I thought my way through what I wanted, plotted things out…and then stopped. Some of this was the self-sabotage, and some was my past inability to FEEL what I needed to feel for manifestation. To this day, feeling is still a challenge, but I am beginning to see that with difficulty in feeling, I am also having difficulty in acting.
I have currently placed several plans on the table, some more than once. For example, I have been keeping my Goal Log for more than a year in an effort to be better accountable for what I am eating, exercise, meditation and gratitude. I specifically set goals with the use of that log – daily gratitude, daily meditation, and either fencing or a trek to the gym 3-5 days a week.
It was a great plan. The execution of the plan? There has been some movement on this, but it has still been less than intended, and so the desired goal has not been achieved.
What do I want from these things? Tracking my diet makes me accountable to myself for what I am putting in my body. In theory, this should have me examining what I am eating for trends and habits, so that I might make changes to improve my health. In practice? I write down what I consume, but don’t make use of my own tool I have created.
Meditation? I intend to meditate daily. Why? To improve my mental health. For a while I was a champion at this…and then it just sort of fell to the wayside. Maybe once a week I practice.
Exercise? I am fencing at my usual practice once a week at least. Other than that, I might get to the gym once or twice. The grand and glorious plan to get up in the morning, change my habits and go workout? So far, that’s not happened. Why? Partially laziness, partially a long list of excuses, and in part because while I want to improve my health, I am loathe to change my wake-up routine and pursue this action. I believe this may also be a form of self-sabotage.
Gratitude? I have probably done best writing out at least 5 things I am grateful for most days of the week. Yet they might get written out, but I do not necessarily take sufficient time to FEEL them, and to really EXPRESS my gratitude. I half-ass the process, paying it lip-service, but not really applying it as I should be.
It is important that I state here that this is not about pity, self-deprecation, self-loathing or any such negativity. This is simply an honest look at how I have made plans without adequate follow-through. This is not about getting mad at myself for perceived failure, this is about an analysis of what I have already done, and consideration of what I need to do to improve upon it.
How do I follow-up my plans with more actions? That’s the challenge I am facing right now. I am, as you are reading this, on vacation. I am away from my usual routines in many different ways while on this trip, and because there is a lack of familiarity in many aspects of this, I am living very much in the now. I am hoping I can use the energy of that in-the-nowness of this to reset my mindset, and restart.
Because I can’t fully plan for this trip I am on, I will be totally living in the moment. There will be almost no time to build a routine, so this can serve as a perfect conduit to step outside of my regular activities, and create some new habits afterwards.
I have been writing for some time about needing to change my habits. Taking a week away from my usual routines is the perfect opportunity to break from them, and when I return home start something new, rather than fall back into the old habits.
When I am back to my regular activities, will I be able to use this reset to create new habits? That is the plan…now I need to give it the actions.
As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!
GOAL LOG – Week 11:
This week’s log has not been maintained due to vacation.
This is the twenty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.