The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Crossing the Bridges: Manifesting

Mind over matter.

I am constantly seeking new and better ways to get control over my mental and emotional state.  I know, from the ever-increasing number of books I have read on the subject, that to truly manifest anything I want, I have to absolutely focus on it, without fear or doubt.

I have had success at this process a few times.  I know why, I know how…and yet I struggle to succeed regularly.

Why?  Because I let my inner skeptic have too much say.  Because I have doubt, and fear, and they often overwhelm or at least overshadow my reason.  No matter how hard I try to stay focused on what I want to create, I have become rather talented at getting to a certain point, and then…either nothing further, or it all comes tumbling down.

I am constantly working on improving this.  I read new and different books on the topics of the Law of Attraction and manifesting and consciousness/awareness and being your genuine self. Much of it sticks, and yet I still have doubt and uncertainty managing to hold me back.

When I recovered from my numerous injuries so totally, it was because there was NO doubt, no uncertainty, and no other option allowed to take hold.  I accepted no other scenario, no other possibility but total and complete recovery.  And I got it.  If I don’t tell you about what happened to me, or I don’t show you any of the scars, you’d have no idea the extent of the damage my body took.

When I acquired my current car, against seemingly impossible odds, I simply saw the outcome and knew, without doubt or uncertainty, that the situation was going to work itself out in my favor.  I accepted no other scenario, no other possibility but replacing my dying car with a better car.  And I got it.  It may not be my dream car, but I am deeply grateful that I have it, and it’s pretty awesome.

So how come I have succeeded at this idea a time or two, but cannot manage to do it more frequently?  I believe this boils down to a large number of different factors.  Might be depression, might be skepticism, might be a lack of focus.  It’s most likely a combination of many different things when all is said and done.

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So, what do I do with this information?  How do I improve my mindset, change my thoughts so that my feelings are more positive and less negative?  Besides using the Pathwalking in Practice items I have recently begun to create (gratitude, awareness questions, journaling thus far) I need to get clearer on what I want when all is said and done.  And more than that, I need to not worry about the how.

I like to know how things work.  Even when my knowledge is fairly general and not specific, like the workings of cars and airplanes but not enough that I can be any kind of mechanic, I like knowing.  I love learning.  Learning is everything, and I am striving every single day to learn things.

Unfortunately, when I cannot see just how I might get from here to there, from my current situation to my dream, I want to examine how.  I want to know what steps I need to take, and I want to be aware of all the workings.

The problem with this, however, is that I also know that to truly consciously create reality, I have to trust the Universe.  I have to focus on the outcome, not the how.  Yes, the path is just as, if not more, important…but it I don’t believe completely the outcome is real, then I sabotage it every step of the way.

I see my future in the future.  And I know, because I have traveled these paths before, that I have to see it in the here and now.  I cannot be thinking about the crossing of the bridges – I need to think about what I get on the other side.

This is a process.  There are always new questions, always different answers.  I need to become less fearful, less skeptical, more sure and more focused.  I need to stop getting partway there, I need to get all the way in.  I need to see my life as I want it, not as I would hope it to be.  I need to be more positive in the here and now, less fearful, less skeptical.

As such – it may be time for me to back off social media.  I want to stay informed of our current disastrous political climate…but the constant barrage of all the awfulness is getting to me.  It makes me sad, angry, frightened, and overall unhappy.  I will do what I can to combat this awfulness, but I cannot let these things so very far from my control dominate my existence.  I just can’t.  Nor should I.  I need to live for my life, my happiness, my goals…and where I can help out along the way, in whatever ways that I can, I will.

I have seen this work.  I know I can use this, I know I can create the life I want and manifest my own destiny.  Consciousness creates reality…and I have the power to ask for what I want, believe that I can have it and make it manifest, then receive it into my life (yes, I know that  I just used The Secret there.)  I know I have this in me.  I just need to pull the things I see ahead of me into the now, and KNOW they are mine.  How this will work…is not for me to figure out.

Life is a work in progress.  Thanks for reading these ramblings.  Thank You for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 4:

Diet:  Continuing with being mindful about what and how much I am eating.

Exercise: One day of fencing, one day at the gym.

Writing:  The three blogs got written, and I did some major work on the sci-fi story over 2 days.  Also wrote a couple unpublished pieces that may wind up here eventually.

Meditation:  Only 1 day of mediation, but for nearly 30 minutes with a group.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for every day this week.

 

This is the eighteenth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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