Many of the obstacles I encounter in life are of my own creation.
Everybody encounters obstacles along the way. Some are out of our control, such as weather and traffic. Many, however, only exist because we allow them to.
This blog has evolved since its initial creation, in order to focus on how consciousness creates reality. I share my ideas because I know I am not alone in doing what I do. But I also share because I believe that it empowers my journey along the way.
This week I have written about the empowerment that comes from caring, and how anticipation can be used to help us along our paths. Crossing the bridges is my most personal weekly post, so please bear with me while I get into this.
The vast majority of the obstacles I run into are of my own making. I have written about my tendency to self-sabotage, or to let my fear of rejection stay my hand, but the biggest obstruction I regularly encounter is my own inner-dialogue.
Everybody has an inner-dialogue. I have referred to this before as self-talk. Frequently, when we say I AM we follow it with unkind things. This is a conscious creator, which is why it’s important to be so aware of it.
Beneath the conscious use of I AM, there is a subconscious inner-dialogue that runs on. It is that voice which I find presents the greatest obstacle to me, at least. Why? Because that voice is one of doubt, of second-guessing, and of inner criticism.
It’s that nagging little voice that tells me that I am unworthy. That I am undeserving of the life I want to create. That my mantra of mightiness is bullshit. This nagging voice is frequently unkind, skeptical and cynical.
Self-created obstacles are infuriating.
A great deal of what I share in this blog is a part of my work in being more aware of what I am thinking. Awareness of thought in turn leads to better awareness of emotion. When we give our thoughts feeling, this in turn helps us manifest what we want. That’s conscious reality creation in action.
I know a lot of people who think this is bunk. More hooky-spooky new-agey BS. Because I have used this successfully, I know that it can be done. And yet, I still have doubts.
Some among my friends are supportive of this. It’s not that other friends and family members aren’t supportive; they just view my belief as different from their own. Mostly, I think, they live in a more specific reality, where you have to do certain things in life, and some dreams are too impossible to make into realities.
Everyone experiences the opinions and ideas of others, all their lives. In time, this will embed itself into your subconscious. This is where that inner-asshole takes root.
Please note – I am not blaming anyone for this. I am an adult, and I know that my thoughts are my own. It’s wholly up to me to not just recognize this and its origin, but to change it. Or not.
That voice inside my head is fearful, frequently negative and full of disbelief. You want to be a best-selling author? Almost nobody succeeds at that. You want to be wealthy? Maybe you should have become a Doctor or Lawyer like your mom has suggested. Look at all the time you waste in a given day. How can you think you are worthy of success, you keep doing stupid things and making mistakes. You suck at rolling dice. See why this is such an obstacle?
Obstacles of my own creation are mine to remove, too.
Friends refer to these sorts of thoughts and feelings as brain weasels. Little annoying rodents running about, mucking everything up. Silencing them, or removing them is a major challenge. Yet I know it is the key to manifesting the life I am striving to create. I know that that inner-dialogue needs to be evicted from my brain.
How? How do I stop it? What can I do to remove this obstacle to my life’s works? Currently I am employing daily meditation, frequent recitation of a powerful mantra, and writing these blog posts to address this.
All good, and it helps me be more aware…but I find that this horrid inner-dialogue is still running. Telling me all the mistakes, failures, poor choices and time-wasting I have done in the past or present is all that really matters. It tells me my intentions, successes, good choices and work achieved in the past or present cannot make-up for that. I should stop trying to consciously create reality, because it’s impossible, I should get over myself, and accept my place in life.
How do I combat that? Normally I would write that I do not know. However, that’s just an excuse. “Do or Do Not, there is no try.”
First – I thank that inner dialogue. Thank you for trying to protect me from myself. I know that you are scared that I cannot handle the change that this will bring about. But in truth, I want and need this. I can do this.
Second – I have to listen for that voice, and shut it down when it comes. Trap those brain weasels and turn them loose into the wild.
Third – I need to truly release this. It is up to me to cry, to scream, to talk to myself and talk it out.
Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
Every self-help and new-age book about the law of attraction and its ilk that I have read or listened to says the same thing. Our subconscious is programmed in our youth. Though we take a lot of that on as our own, in truth it belongs to our parents, our teachers, our relatives and our friends from childhood. That is where this awful inner voice comes from. This is how we create most of our self-made obstacles when we work to consciously create reality.
I have my work cut out for me. Thank you for reading about my struggles. Please know that I am here for you if you are coping with the same. Together, we can remove these obstacles we create for ourselves.
As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.
This is the seventy-fourth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.
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