We are obsessed with time.
Time factors into our lives in ways we hardly pay attention to, but there it is. We are constantly exploring matters of time, events, dates, appointments, past, present, future, and on and on. Time is everywhere, and we are frequently coping with a perceived shortage or overage of it.
Why am I going on about this? Because I am sitting here, spending my time doing nothing. On the plus side, as I write this, I am getting paid to do nothing. Some people might tell me I am looking a gift horse in the mouth, and I should take more advantage of this situation.
However, my own moral code makes me feel rather guilty about that. Not a useful emotion, guilt. But I do not like taking money from people when I am not really doing any work for them. Sure, I do work when it comes my way, but otherwise, what do I do with my time?
Here I am, in this office, killing time before I go to somewhere else for my “lunch” break; I will spend half an hour taking a walk or reading, making some productive use of time; then I will return to the office, and if I have little work still I will continue killing time before I go home where I have some time to spend having dinner with my wife before I go to fencing practice.
I am perceiving much of this as time being wasted, misspent, abused. And yet…those paychecks every-other week really make life much sweeter. But I have a certain level of work ethic, and would much rather be doing things related to my job while at my job, then spending time feeling as if my self-worth is irrelevant.
This is a matter of perception, I know. I see this a certain way not everyone might agree with. All of us mark time in our own manner. We all have different values of time, and our perception of time well spent versus time wasted or time misused or time saved vary wildly. Einstein told us long ago now that time is an illusion. “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” – Albert Einstein.
We are all painfully aware that our time in these bodies is limited. While our beings are made of energy, this particular consciousness, this perception of reality, this body will only exist for (hopefully) the better part of a century. In the grand cosmic scheme of time, that’s not long.
This is why, when we perceive time as past, present and future, short and long, abundant and lacking, light and dark, good and bad – and every single possibility between these extremes – we allow ourselves to obsess about it.
While I have not been successful this week in getting to the gym in the morning, I have been meditating daily. I find that the time I take to meditate is really helpful, and gives me focus and clarity and calm…for a little while. The trick with this now will be to carry it with me.
The questions before me in regards to my current situation are thus: How do I make the most of my time? Where is my personal ethical, responsible line in regards to how I use the time I have? How can I turn the feelings of wasting time, killing time, or any other negative sense of time into a positive? How is any of this doable?
That’s the biggest question of them all. How do I do this? I do not know a process nor a procedure to alter my perceptions of, and obsession with, time. Since I do not have the option, just now, of being somewhere not right here, what will help me to not feel negative about the measure of time I am here for?
If I have any answer at all to the questions I am posing, it’s this: I need to adjust my focus. I need to keep to the end goal. I want to be a best-selling writer. I need to focus on what it will feel like to be somewhere other than here, doing something I want to be doing, and making the most of my time, rather than feeling like time is slipping away. Time, like the universe, is made of abundance. If I perceive lack, I get lack. Perceive abundance, get abundance.
It always seems to come back to this same thing, doesn’t it? Abundance. I need to do better at focusing on and seeing abundance in my life. It’s not just about love and money and space and peace, but also time. I need to see that there is more than enough time, and not time wasted, abused, or lacking. Focus.
Think. Feel. Act. Ask. Believe. Receive. Abundance. Think and act abundant. Feel and ask for abundance. Believe and receive abundance. It might seem like hooky-spooky mumbo-jumbo BS, but if consciousness truly creates reality – and I thoroughly believe that it does – then I know what it is I should do.
“Do or Do Not. There is no try!” – Yoda.
Have I got this? Only time will tell…however that time is perceived by me. As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!
GOAL LOG – Week 17:
Diet: Still continuing with the lower carb, lower sugar diet overall.
Exercise: I fenced Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, took a walk around the lake Thursday.
Writing: The three blog posts were done.
Meditation: Five days last week, one day for 6 minutes, otherwise 9-14 minutes a day.
Gratitude: I have expressed gratitude for 5 things five of seven days last week.
This is the thirty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.