The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: October 2016 (Page 2 of 2)

Crossing the Bridges: Life in Multiple Worlds

I feel as if I live in multiple worlds sometimes.

See if this is familiar for you in any way.

First, there is Professional Me.  I hold a job, I pay my bills, I do the necessary things one does to live in this society.  I also happen to be involved in civics, as I serve as President of a local Chamber of Commerce.

Second, there is Author Me.  I keep this blog, I write and edit novels.  I constantly dream up new and interesting worlds.  Then I strive to write them out.  Then I work on ways to promote and increase sales of my works.

Third, there is Medieval Me.  As much as playing in the SCA is a hobby, it still manages to occupy a large amount of my time.  Fortunately, it’s mostly weekends, save fencing practices.  Also, I will be taking on a new office soon that will require my attention.

Fourth, there is Social/antisocial Me.  Sometimes my friends and I get together to hang out, do crafty things, play games and such.  Further, I enjoy spending time with my spouse, watching TV or movies, goofing off online, going to the gym, meditating and reading.

Striking a balance between living in these worlds can be somewhat challenging.

I will be the first to confess that I have not always been the most organized person.  Despite being a Virgo, I tend not to make and keep lists, or place regular entries on my calendar and such.  So coordinating my worlds and giving them each necessary time can be tricky.

So I think the important question here is – how do I value my time?  I live in all four of these worlds, but I can only be in one place at one time, and certain things will take priority over other things.  I need to spend time in all four of these worlds, but how often and how much is something that I can quantify.

I tend to be awake from about 6am – 12,12:30am.  Yes, I know that means I generally sleep less than 6 hours a night, it works, thanks for asking.  Anyhow, this means I have about 18 hours a day to live in all these worlds.

Some of my time is non-negotiable.  For example, Professional Me.  I have to work 8.5 hours a day, Monday-Friday.  I also need to give a few hours to Chamber business a week and sometimes to my old job as well.  That’s a rather large chunk of my day.

This leaves me with about 6-8 hours a day I can use for my other three worlds.  Knowing this, how do I currently use that time?  What are my habits?  Are they good habits or bad?  If bad, can I improve upon them?

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Right now I have a rather regular pattern.  I am going to focus on weekdays for the time being.  I get up in the morning, and usually go online and goof off.  I check my e mails, read posts on Twitter and G+, read posts and play a couple games on Facebook as well.  Sometimes I write one of the blog posts, or work on fiction.  Then I usually make breakfast and prep lunch.  Shower and go to work.  This is a 2 to 2.5 hour routine.  Then I am at work for the next 8.5 hours.

After work I either go to the gym or go home, though anywhere from one to three days a week Medieval Me goes to a fencing practice.  Generally after that I either spend an hour or two doing whatever, maybe engaging Author Me, or I simply go to bed.

This means I have from 1 to 6 hours for Social/antisocial Me and Author Me.  Frequently these two worlds duel with one another.  I want to give more time to Author Me, but sometimes I lack the necessary focus for this.  Then the best intentions leave me feeling as if I wasted more time than I should have on Social/antisocial Me.

As I analyze my patterns and the habits they’ve created, It appears to me that I need some new patterns and habits.  Author Me seems to be getting the least amount of time, and Social/antisocial Me too much.  Since I have stated frequently that I want to further Author Me, I need to give that world more time.

It is time to interrupt my pattern and change my habits.  And I have a plan to make this happen.

My spouse wants to hit the gym in the morning.  Both she and I are working to be healthier.  As a means to encourage one another in this endeavor, I intend to join her.  This means getting to work about a half hour earlier.  Since I cannot leave earlier, that means I take a longer lunch break.  This presents me with an opportunity to devote specific time, daily, to Author Me.

Why am I even writing about all this here?  Because in recognizing established habits in my day, I also can see those that don’t build more of what I want.  Social/antisocial Me needs time, that’s for sure…but he doesn’t need quite as much of my time as I am giving him.  Maybe, by making better use of my time and creating a new and healthier habit, I can build a bigger, better and greater life and balance of my worlds.

This is part and parcel with creating bridges between my worlds.  Let’s see what this does for me as I step across them.

Thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

Pathwalking 249

How do you want to feel?

This is an important question I do not think we ask of ourselves enough.  Not only do we not ask of ourselves, How do I feel?  But neither do we ask, How do I want to feel?

It is easy to forget that when all is said and done, I and I alone am responsible for how I feel.  Period.

Whether or not I feel good or bad, happy or sad, anxious or excited, frustrated or stimulated, I am the only one who can feel what I am feeling as I am feeling it, and I am the only one who can decide if I want to feel it.

Despite this, we still readily believe that others have the power to affect our feelings. You make me so mad; that crazy politician enrages me; you’ve made me happier than I ever thought possible; you make me feel joy and so on and so forth.  While others can most certainly influence the way we feel, they are unable to make us feel anything at all.

It all falls upon each of us individually.  Nobody but me makes me feel happy, sad, anxious, tense, excited and so on.  If I am feeling contented, that is what I am experiencing for myself.  If I am feeling anxious, that is not because someone else placed that feeling upon me, it is simply my current emotional state of being.

We live all-too-frequently in this residual experience.  Because we often neglect to simply live in the now, we are a product of who we were then, whether then is minutes, hours, days or even years ago.  Often right now what we are feeling about ourselves is a residual matter based on the past.

If you don’t believe me, let me illuminate the concept for you.  At some point in the past let’s say you went to your mom and dad to ask for more allowance money.  Let’s say that not only did they say no, they also yelled at you for not keeping your room clean.  Fast forward years later to your first job.  You think you are deserving, and go ask the boss for a raise.  Not only does he say no, he yells at you about a project that isn’t even yours, but gives you no chance to get a word in edgewise, and denies you.

Today you woke up feeling anxious.  The butterflies are making your stomach queasy, and you are feeling completely off.  Today is the day your current boss is having that meeting with you, and that promotion and subsequent pay raise are on the line.  Given the previously mentioned past events, why do you think you are feeling this anxiety?  Is it really about today’s situation, or is it based on your past experiences?

When we are able to recognize this for what it is, we can begin to ask How do I want to feel? of ourselves.  We can see that the feelings we are having, if they do not suit us, can be changed, if we make the choice to change them.

This, however, can be a very difficult process.  Most of us are so used to simply having the feelings we are having and rolling with them that the notion of taking ahold of and actively CHANGING them seems rather foreign.

It certainly feels easier to give the power of how we’ve been made to feel over to others, rather than to take control for ourselves.  Part of this is because it feels easier to place blame than to take responsibility.  Part of this is that believing we can be in control of our own feelings at any time is an alien concept.

How do you get hold and take control of how you are feeling?  That’s part of the challenge.  For me, the process works best with the following steps

  1. Ask – How am I feeling? Get clear on the specific emotion(s) I am experiencing at this moment.
  2. Ask – How do I want to feel? Usually if I am feeling negative, I would prefer to feel positive.
  3. Quiet my mind – I need to reflect on what has brought me to this state, in order to adjust it. This could take just a moment’s pause, or may require a longer meditation.
  4. Release – Rather than hold onto the emotion I do not want, I have to take an action to release it. Wave it goodbye, thank it for protecting me, visualize it sinking into the ground or flying away; some sort of mental action needs to occur to achieve release.
  5. Take action – I choose the emotion I would prefer to feel, and take some sort of action to replace what I don’t want.  That action could be a brisk walk, a brief cry, a primal scream, singing a song, finding something that makes me laugh, etc.  Action is absolutely necessary to drive any change.

Important note: This is NOT a surefire means to an end.  This is the process I work to employ, and it may not work for you.  However, any attempt you do make to take hold of and control your feelings will require some combination of thought, feeling and action.

Everything we want to manifest requires a mix of thought, feeling and action.  We have the gift of these complex emotions, but with it we have the empowerment to be in control of them for ourselves.  Take that into consideration the next time you are not feeling as you might wish to feel.

How do you want to feel?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 39:

Diet:  I continue to mostly avoid sugar, and I am still working at portioning.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, and I got to the gym once and shot archery.

Writing:  Three days of writing.

Meditation:  I meditated five days, for a minimum of at least 5 minutes.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for four of seven days last week.

 

This is the two-hundred forty-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Words Matter

Words matter.

What that means is that what you write or say can have an impact, positive or negative.  Do you build or destroy with your words?  Inspire or terrorize?  Spew love or hate?  Give or take?

People often forget just how important the words we use are.  Sometimes we fear the power of certain words and phrases, but neglect that there are always options.

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There are more than 200,000 words in the English dictionary, when you include the obsolete words some people won’t let die.  New words and slang words and words in other languages and such also exist, so the choices are many.  There are words for nearly everything, at least on the surface.

I know that there are feelings that are difficult to put words to.  There are plenty of words that have multiple meanings as well, so that just adds another layer of complexity.  That is why words are so very important.

The thing is, we sometimes pay little heed to the words we are using.  We often throw away a word here or there, and while we may attach nothing to it, because of the complexities of language we shift an intent or emotion or even a whole situation to something other than what we thought.  That is why words matter, and we should choose with more care than we frequently use.

Why?  Because when there is a big, overwhelming negative situation, adding on to it with our own negativity makes it grow.  Something vast and overwhelming only gets more vast and overwhelming the more we give it focus, attention, and support.

When your friend posts to Facebook about that terrible awful thing, and you agree it’s terrible and awful, you are actually empowering it further.  So rather than simply agree about this terrible awful thing, change the tone.  Yeah, that’s terrible and awful, so let’s leave it there and instead look at this delightful pleasing thing.  Use your words not to further the negativity, but rather to encourage positivity.

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No, we can’t just ignore bad things and walk around in rose-colored glasses, but we can choose whether to dwell on and empower the negativity, or instead release and seek positivity.  I don’t know anyone who truly enjoys feeling miserable, so why do we not use the power of our words to find more ways to feel good?

Words matter.  Consider the power of what you put out there and what words you use to express your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that words matter as they do, we can choose more consciously what words we use to express ourselves.  When we employ our words more thoughtfully, we gain control over how we want to think, feel and act, and of course as such we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred fortieth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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