The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: July 2016 (Page 2 of 2)

Pathwalking 237

Everyone is familiar with the phrases quitters never win and winners never quit.  However, I think everyone also knows this is not always the truth.

There are numerous things that need to be quit.  Plenty of less-than-stellar habits like smoking, excess drinking, overeating, being overly judgmental and such.  There are other behaviors that one might consider quitting, like always talking over others, low self-opinion, inactivity and such.

What is the relation of quitting to Pathwalking?  Accepting that, sometimes, you need to quit one thing to start another.

This is not a simple notion, however.  Before you quit something, unless you know it’s a habit that gets in your way of living the fullest life, or a relationship that makes you miserable, you need to consider if you are quitting because you are afraid, if you are quitting because you have tried and failed too many times, or if you are quitting because you know it is time to move on.

Quitting when you are afraid is surprisingly common.  Every single self-help, holistic book I have read or listened to has addressed just this.  At the cusp of realizing one’s dream, at that point where, despite not seeing results you are just about to manifest what it is you have been striving after…you call it quits.  You throw up your hands, and get angry and declare, “This stuff is crap!  I give up!”  Often, this is the result of fear.

Twin fears are usually at play here.  The fear of failure, equal to the fear of success.  You are afraid to fail, and when you have put a lot of time and effort and heart and soul into something and you are not seeing any results, it can be hugely frustrating.  You become discouraged, and you get tired of all the effort.  Despite knowing you have made good choices, despite feeling it to your core that this is where you are supposed to be going…you call it, and walk away.  Instead of failing, you end it on your own terms, and quit.

This seems like an emotionally solid option, but it’s not.  In time, you will probably find yourself wondering what could have been…or even restarting the process and having to work to and through that same point again.

On the other side of this coin, you are at that same point, so close to victory you can almost taste it, but so frustrated with all the effort you’ve expended…and yet, you begin to question what happens if you succeed?  How will other people react?  How will this affect my relationships?  How might this change me?  How will this REALLY make me feel?  What if I prove I am right, and I get what I want?  Oh no, I might succeed, and with success there might be consequences…so you call it, and walk away.  Instead of succeeding and experiencing the change success might bring, you end it on your own terms, and quit.

This may bring emotional relief to the fear of what might have been, but odds are you will soon find yourself questioning why you gave up.  Why didn’t you see it through?  What were you afraid of?  The fear of success is less familiar than the fear of failure to most people, but it can be equally if not more crippling.

Quitting out of fear is no reason to quit.  Especially when most of your fears are intangibles that can do little to no harm.

Quitting when you have failed too many times is a double-edged sword.  Similar to quitting out of fear, just because you have tried and failed a dozen times doesn’t necessarily mean you should quit.  Many of the greatest minds in this world tried and failed dozens of times before they succeeded.  Sometimes it’s a matter of changing your approach, sometimes it’s a question of timing, and sometimes you are missing that one, small necessary thing, but on the five-thousandth try you will make it fly.

I have had my writing rejected by at least two or three dozen agents and publishers.  I didn’t quit writing, and instead turned to self-publishing to put my work out there.  Now I am trying to promote my work and increase sales, but though I have tried many many methods to make this happen, I have not quit, and have no intent of doing so.

Now here’s the other edge of that same sword.  Albert Einstein is credited with saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”  You keep taking the same steps, thinking the same thoughts, putting forth the same actions, and making the same efforts over and over again, and over and over again you do not get the result you desire.  Maybe you give it a small tweak here, a slight adjustment there, but nonetheless you are doing the same exact thing again and again and again.

This takes a great deal of self-awareness.  You have to really analyze this thing you have been doing, and decide if maybe, just maybe, it is time to call it quits and move on.  This is a very hard action to take, because it may ultimately make you feel like you’ve expended a lot of effort for nothing…but sometimes it is the best choice, in order to take a new and more useful path.

Which leads to quitting because you know it is time to move on.  Maybe that job is just not right for you anymore.  Maybe this relationship is no longer healthy.  Maybe you’ve come to realize that the goal you have been striving for is not really what you want.  Maybe being happy is more important to you than being acceptable to others.  Whatever the case may be, situations can arise where it is in your best interest to quit.  Often this gets drawn out, and frequently we seriously question if this is wise, but in general when you quit in this manner you become relieved, and you open up new channels to the life you most want.

Quitting should seldom be the first answer.  But there is no shame in walking away from a path that will not suit you, and that will not make you happy.  Sometimes winners win because they quit something that, ultimately was in fact a loss.

Is there anything you have quit, or might need to quit to create the life you most desire to live?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 27:

Diet: I am still eating well, and still eating far less bread and pasta and the like while continuing to keep away from candy and other sugars of that sort.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week.  Dog sitting continues, which meant there were several, daily long walks, of two to four miles each.  Much exercise, but no trips to the gym.

Writing:  One day of editing.  It’s better than none at all.

Meditation:  Two days of meditation, at least 5 minutes each day.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 things to be grateful for every day last week.

This is the two-hundred thirty-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Celebrate our Similarities

We should celebrate our sameness more.

The things that make us all similar, our basic humanity and our universal desires for love and happiness, are not something to be ignored.  These things that we all share are amazing, and we should celebrate them.

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We need to deemphasize our differences and the things that divide us, and make a bigger deal about our commonalities.  There is tremendous positivity in unity and in our sameness.

We put too great importance on physical differences like hair color, skin color, height, weight, and gender.  Beneath it all we have the same internal organs and skeletal structures, these meat suits we define ourselves by are just the vessels of our souls.  The substance beneath is a very different thing, and it is pretty amazing.

Even more than our physical differences, we give far too much focus and attention to our intangible differences.  Nationality, religion, sexual orientation, political affiliations and similar unseen identifiers are given so much power, and yet do not truly define us.

What makes us different makes us unique, and it is good to have qualities tangible and intangible to self-identify.  But the things that make us the same, the desires we have for happiness and for love, are the ultimate generators of positivity.

The things that divide us, the differences between us, are so readily used to incite anger, violence, injustice.  We look at different races, religions, genders and sexual preferences and we fear the things that are separate about us.  Why do these things matter so much to anyone other than ourselves?  We are only effected by the differences if we focus on them and see them not as unique identifies, but as vehicles for our fear of the unknown, and fear of the different.

I do not know a single human being who does not want to be happy.  I do not know any individual who does not want to love and be loved.  Rather than seeking out and defining and fighting over the things that make us different, we need to celebrate that we are all the same.  We need to work together to help one another find happiness and to love and be loved, because that would generate tremendous positivity.

When you see a person of a different skin color or gender than you; when you observe practitioners of a religion different from your own; when you are faced with someone who loves differently from how you love, don’t get caught up so much in what makes you different, and insubstantial fears about those differences – remember that, like you, they want to find happiness and love and to live a good life, too.

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Stop dividing and conquering, and start uniting and encouraging.  Division is rife with negativity, whereas unity is full of positivity.  We need to come together more than we need to take apart.  Celebrate what makes us the same, and make more positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that when we are more similar than we are different, we can celebrate our affinities.  When we choose to recognize that everyone, like us, wants love and happiness we forge powerful bonds, and in so doing so we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred twenty eighth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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Pathwalking 236

Why do we seem so much better at expressing negativity than positivity?

This question has been on my mind for a while now, and is part of why I began my other weekly posts about Positivity.

Almost every Monday I’d open up Facebook or Twitter and the first thing I would see is complaints.  Weekend’s over, here we go again, another toilsome workweek, fun’s over, and so on.  Heaps of negativity, enough to undo any good the weekend might have done for rest and rejuvenation.

The world can be a dark and scary place, it appears.  Terrorists bombing people, sex slaves being trafficked, political upheaval in the United States and abroad, fear of strangers and refugees and multiculturalism dominate news feeds across social media.  People are constantly focusing on and spreading news of bad world happenings.

So much negativity.  So much anger, fear, and outright hatred.  The internet, a font of information and connectivity is being constantly used to perpetuate the bad feelings, and to make us angrier, more fearful and, frankly, sadder.

It is so easy to let negativity dominate our world view.  I hate my job.  That person really upsets me.  Why are they running that person for public office?  Why does my mouse keep getting lost and my computer freezing up?  How come that person got a raise instead of me?  I hate Mondays.

Everything we say carries weight, often far more than we realize.  And it is really, really easy to get caught up in negativity due to its prevalence on social media.

I can’t avoid the news.  I need to know what is going on out there.  I agree, it is wise to be informed.  However, there is no need to swim into the deepest depths of all the terrible news around the world.  Informed is one thing, inundated and swept beneath the waves is quite another.

What can we do in the face of this?  The first thing is both the simplest and the hardest at the same time.  Mind what you think about.  If you are all focused on that negative thing, if you are caught up in exploring how bad those people are or that situation is, consider what that is doing to you.  Is it helping or hindering your path?   Are your thoughts advancing your goals or holding them back?

The second thing is to mind what we are saying.  Are you talking about your dislike of that person, place or thing?  Are you complaining about something or someone?  Are you discussing how horrid a thing is, how bad it is making you feel, how disempowered you are feeling?  Are you using the phrase I hate?

This is important to not just Pathwalking, but to living a happy, fulfilling and enjoyable life.  When your focus is on negative things, when you are constantly thinking about and talking about them, if consciousness creates reality, guess what you are creating?

My thinking and feeling more positive is not going to get me better Presidential candidates.  It is not going to stop terrorists from murdering people.  It is not going to make a difference.  Actually, that’s where we are all mistaken.  It can and will make a difference, but not in the manner we think is most important.

All that I can control is how I am thinking, how I am feeling, and how I am acting.  I cannot control anyone else.  I could have all the money and influence and power in the world, and I would still only be able to effect myself.  Period.

Why does this matter?  Because when you see and accept this fact, you empower yourself.  You take back control, and you determine how you are going to think, to feel, and to act.

When we all click on those links to those horrid news stories, the people who control those particular media outlets determine that clearly they should put out more of the same.  When we get into heated debates about things with our friends, we perpetuate the things we don’t want to give power to.  When we talk about the things we hate and dislike and do not want, we empower them instead of the things we love, we enjoy, and that we DO want.

It seems selfish, and small.  I recognize that.  However, the truth is that it’s not.  When we change the conversation, when we stop giving the attention to all the negativity and bad news, when we change our focus to positivity and good news we can and will create more of it.  That empowers us, and when we feel empowered we in turn empower others.  It may seem insignificant, it may seem too personal to have a wider range effect, but I believe that if consciousness creates reality, even the small ideas have the potential to become worldwide phenomena.

Here is my suggestion for a means to experiment with this premise.  Consider what you are thinking about RIGHT NOW.  Is it good or bad?  Are you thinking about something you want, or something you don’t want?  Are you feeling anxious, or excited?  When you take this into account, take a moment and focus on something positive.  Remember the power of the words I AM, and think of something good, not bad, to follow them with.

Before you post to G+, Twitter or Facebook, consider if you are contributing something good or something bad to the feeds.

Try these for a day, and see how much better a day focused on positives is over a day focused on negatives.  I think you might be pleasantly surprised.

Do you feel empowered?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 26:

Diet: My extreme diet is partially over with the start of July.  I am still eating well, still eating far less bread and pasta while keeping away from candy and other sugars of that sort.

Exercise: Fencing happened only 1 day last week, but I have been dog sitting.  This means there have been several, daily long walks, plus I spent my weekend hiking, both in an urban and rock-scrambling setting.  Much exercise, but no trips to the gym.

Writing:  No writing but the blogs happened last week.  I need to get back on track with this.

Meditation:  Three days of meditation, at least 3 minutes each day. This, too, needs to be increased.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 or 6 things to be grateful for every day last week.

 

This is the two-hundred thirty-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Independence

Everyone desires independence.

Certainly there are times when having someone else to make decisions for you might be appealing, but overall I cannot think of anyone who doesn’t want independence.

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Today is Independence Day in the United States.  While this is a national holiday celebrating our declaration of independence from Great Britain two-hundred and forty years ago, the concept of independence is far broader.  All of us, as individuals, are independent of thought, of action, and of feeling.  No one can think, feel, or act for you, unless you let them do so.

Independence is important because when we are surrounded by negativity, or by people who are constantly down, or when we get caught up in deep, socio-political conversations, we independently get to choose for ourselves how to think, how to feel, and how to act.

There are plenty of people who will tell you how to think, how to feel and how to act in this life.  Some are well-meaning, others are manipulative and controlling.  But your independence means that you are ultimately able to make these choices, and to control how your life will go.

It is easy to lose sight of this.  People are constantly giving up their ability to make these choices, sometimes because it feels easier to let someone else tell you how to think and feel and what to do, and sometimes they are choosing not to choose for themselves.

But no matter how we allow others control, we are still independent.  We can analyze what we are doing and how we are doing it, and then we can decide in what areas, if any, we need to take back control of our thoughts, our feelings and our actions.

Independence means we can choose whether to be positive or negative in our thoughts, our feelings and our actions.    Today is the celebration of a whole people declaring their independence, and striving to make a new life for themselves.  Individually we all have the power to do this.  Make today your personal independence day, and take that independence to find the things that make you happy, and seek out positivity.

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Be who you are, the magnificent, independent individual.  Don’t let anyone else tell you who you are, who you should be, or how you are supposed to think and feel.  You are independent.  Celebrate it.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that when we declare our independence we assume control of our thoughts, feelings and actions, and thus we have all the power.  When we choose to think, feel and act on our independence, and make positive choices for ourselves, ultimately we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred twenty seventh entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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