The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: March 2016 (Page 1 of 2)

Pathwalking 222

It is important to leave the past in the past.

As much as I am never one to hold a grudge, I do still hold onto many things from my past.  And unfortunately, not in a good way.

We always can learn from the past.  The key, however, is to not take it with you into the present and on to the future.

Let me explain in more detail.

When I went to college I began with zero direction.  I jokingly told my father I intended to major in procrastination and hesitation with a minor in bureaucratic red tape.  Despite choosing an actual major and a couple minors along the way, I do believe I may have gone with the hesitation aspect of that jest.

I majored in theatre.  Didn’t enter that particular job market.  I minored in art history and audio production, focused on radio.  Tried to enter professional radio, but I was unwilling to relocate to the boonies for any-old job I might get as a DJ.  Apart from interesting trivial facts, only made some use of the art history minor in my hobby.

I bounced from job to job after college.  Never really found a niche for myself that made me happy.  One or two jobs felt they have had potential but they either didn’t pan out for some reason or turned out to be something otherwise.  My resume is a hodgepodge of experience that to some potential employers shows a multitasking mastermind while to others it’s an erratic generalist who might be a jack of all trades but a master of none.

Over four years ago I began to explore this concept of Pathwalking.  I decided I was done just going along and doing whatever and being unhappy and I wanted to make my own way.  A lot of good has come of that.  I got into a stable relationship and am now married, for example.  I have completed and published several books.  Overall I have been happier with my life than I had been for a long time.

Recently I have been struggling some.  Last week I mentioned my anxiety issues.  I’ve written about dealing with depression.  I am coping with a couple situations that are causing me considerable consternation, and I think one of the reasons for this is past outcomes I am not letting go of.

My work history, for example.  Apart from one job, I have never really worked in the same place for more than two years.  The one job that is the exception I have been at for 12 years.  However, that involved long periods of being part time or on-call, consulting with them, but also about 3 years full time.  Relatively sporadic.

I have written out what to me would be the perfect job.  And low and behold I actually landed it, or so I thought.  Started out as I envisioned, but quickly turned to something very different.  My supposed conscious creation was not what I wanted, and while its ending upset me, it was for the best.

I’ve manifested what I needed and wanted before, because in those instances I wholly focused on the present and let go of the past.  There was only the now, and the outcome I wanted.

What about the past is blocking me right now?  Let’s look at what I think it is.

Imposter Syndrome.  In certain circles there are people who see me as a success.  In others I am viewed as knowledgeable and capable.  I have won respect and good will from disparate people who see what I believe to be a façade.  What if they see me for my past inconsistencies?  What if they take a closer look and call me out as an imposter?  Why yes, this is a fancy disguise for fear.  Fear of rejection, fear of pain, fear of failure, and I would even suspect fear of success.

Second-guessing.  Was leaving the higher-paying job I disliked such a good idea?  Should I have gone with the business opportunity I didn’t?  Should I have put more energy into the partnership that didn’t work out than I did?  What if?  Past mistakes and past perceived failures cause me to get stuck in the present and not move forward.

Anger.  How dare she fire me?  What was that BS all about?  Why did she expect me to be a mindreader?  Nobody will be good enough, but I wasn’t either.  How come when you knew what I wanted from this gig and I could do it you still didn’t offer it to me?  The vast amount of anger and resentment I find myself holding onto seriously cripples me in the here and now, and I need to let go of it all.

The conclusion I have reached is that in the present I am dragging along with me the three-ton weight that is these three past matters.  I know they are having a negative impact on my present, and they are effecting my attempts at conscious creation.  Between imposter syndrome, second-guessing and anger stemming from my past, it’s no wonder I’m feeling stuck here in the present.

So what do I do with this?  First and foremost – I have to forgive myself.  I write weekly about this Pathwalking thing, and then get displeased with myself for failing to live up to it completely.  Hey, self, nobody’s perfect, dust yourself off and move forward.  You are allowed to not live up to your own standards, just accept that you’ve done that and LET IT GO.

Second, now that I’ve identified it, take the steps I know to fix it.  Imposter syndrome?  Just don’t.  Put on the suit, armor up, and be that guy they think you are.  Alright, Titanium Don, be that successful, knowledgeable and respectable guy.  Second-guessing?  Just don’t.  Can’t undo the past, asking what-if will just frustrate you, so stop analyzing it and take the lessons learned and leave it behind.  Anger?  Write letters to those people who have angered you and burn them.

I know how this works.  Instead of getting mad at myself for failing to live in the now and let the past stay in the past, take these actions and MOVE FORWARD.  The past only effects the present for me if I allow it to.

I’ve got this.  The biggest obstacle in the way of my path is me.  Suck it up, buttercup, and be present and just make it happen.

Do you leave your past in your past, or carry it with you?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 12:

Diet: I continue tracking my intake, and am working to cut back my carbs and sugars.

Exercise: Fencing happened, and I got to the gym three times.  I also took a walk around my complex.  I exceeded my goal, and am happy about that.

Writing:  Six days of writing and editing.  Goal exceeded!

Meditation: I spent at least 3 minutes meditating seven days last week. I am working to keep this a daily practice.

I am going to add one more process to the log.  Gratitude.  I need to use the app on my phone to express gratitude for 3 to 5 things a day.

 

This is the two-hundred twenty second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Tears

Tears, you may not realize, are a surprising tool for positivity.

Whether tears are being shed in happiness or in joy, or in sorrow and sadness, they are still a tool for Positivity.  Because tears cleanse.

When you are so filled with joy that you could burst and you begin to cry, it is an experience of ultimate release.  So powerful that you are overwhelmed, and so moved.

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When you are sorrowful or sad and you begin to cry, it is an experience of ultimate release.  So powerful that you are overwhelmed, and so moved.

Release, relief, whether from sadness or happiness, is still positive.  Why?  Because once you have had that release, you are now free and open to tremendous amounts of positivity.

There is nothing like the release that tears can bring.  So much pent up energy that your system has to give.  While there are many vents we have to release that pent-up emotion, tears are particularly powerful.

Yes, you can shout, scream, throw punches, break stuff to release that energy.  But tears cleanse like nothing else can.  Tears open you up in a way that no other physical act can.  They are an ultimate creator of freedom.

Why is positivity important?  Because we all want to feel good.  We all want to be hopeful.  We all want to experience exceptional things in life.  But there are going to be instances that create emotions in us so strong that we can’t just hold onto them.

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it just changes form.  Emotions are a part of that energy, but they can create a build-up that needs to be released.  That’s tension.  Sometimes the release is obvious, like a laugh, or a sneeze, or that moment when you are with a partner and realize they want to be kissed as much as you want to kiss them.  These are releases of energy.

Tears are an energy release.  The body becomes so full of either positive or negative energy that it must be released.  Like any overpowered engine, something has to give so that the system does not break down.  That is what tears are.

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Once tears flow, the energy is released.  It does not matter whether that was positive or negative energy that caused the tears, now that they are released you can start anew.  Positivity can be created, and you can renew your efforts and change your direction.

There are going to be times when we all need release.  Letting go of any overage of energy opens us to more possibilities for positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that we all need to liberate excess energy, whether from joy or sorrow, we can be freer in doing so.  When we accept the need for that release, and we allow the tears to flow, once the energy excess has been released we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred thirteenth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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Pathwalking 221

Lately I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety.

This is not a regular sensation for me, I don’t get anxious easily.  But I am well aware that anxiety, as a disguise for fear, gets in the way of Pathwalking.

So what am I feeling anxious about?

The first step in dealing with anxiety is identifying it.  I know that there are several things giving me anxiety, some of which I can deal with directly, some less so.

Current anxiety producing things that are something I can deal with directly: my finances, my fitness, my productivity, my time management.

Every one of these is directly within my control to be dealt with.  Some more, some less, but nonetheless I can take actions to handle these causes of anxiety.

Finances – looking for a new job.  Working on promoting and increasing sales of my published works.  Refocusing my attention away from the fear aspect of having insufficient finances to pay my bills and instead envisioning abundance.  Money and fear do not go together, so this is something I REALLY need to change my focus on.

Oh great, this hooky-spooky bs.  I don’t believe so.  If, as I frequently postulate, consciousness creates reality, then if I am focusing on lack and letting the fear of consequences from that overwhelm my reason – which is where anxiety comes from, frankly – then guess what I am creating more of?

And really, even if I am wrong about what I believe, building fear and anxiety does not help with any actions I want or even need to take.  I can control how I feel, why do I want to feel anxious?  Simpel answer – I don’t.

My fitness – I am trying to change my diet, and increase my exercise.  I need to not let my fear and anxiety lead to stress eating, or loafing on the couch or any other excuses that keep me from getting into better shape.  Anxiety about my fitness gets in the way of doing something to improve it.

My productivity – I need to not distract myself from job hunting and writing and seeking means to promote and better sell my work.  I need to also not become anxious if I fail to meet self-imposed quotas.  This goes to my fitness at well, frankly.  Productivity or a lack thereof is wholly in my wheelhouse to be dealt with.  And hand-in-hand with that matter…

My time management – I get up somewhere between 6:30 and 7:30am every morning.  I putz around online, play some games on Facebook.  I make my coffee, I start to consider what I need to do.  I cannot tell you how frequently it’s 10am and I get flustered that my morning is almost gone.  Time gets away from me, I do not manage it to my greatest advantage, and then I get anxious because my intent for the day slips or I don’t complete the things I want and need to get done.

All of these are in my direct control to deal with.  I can choose to work with the anxiety, which is actually fear, that this is causing me.  I can take steps using any number of tools to overcome this and take better care of myself.

Now what about the things outside of my control that are making me anxious?

This is bit more complex.  There are two categories for this – the things I CAN identify, and the things I can’t.  The former is pretty easy, and I know I am very much not alone when it comes to anxiety about horrid business practices, government, the insane national election, world terrorism and the effects it causes, racism, hatred, bigotry, misogyny – I can go on and on here.  I don’t even watch network news or read deep beyond headlines much anymore because I know how these things make me feel, and I don’t want that anxiousness.

The latter, however, it particularly hard to deal with.  What about that anxiety you just can’t put your finger on?  We’ve all sensed it, we’ve all experienced it…that sense of dread.  The heaviness in our hearts.  That sinking feeling.  Try as you might, there is no obvious cause, you just feel anxious.

Well, what can you do about this stuff outside of your direct control?

This is where you need to take actions that will change how you are feeling.  Might need to meditate, write out an angry note, write out a hopeful blog post, go for a run, watch something funny, put on music, chat with a friend, scream, skip rocks off a lake…whatever it takes to release the anxiety, the fear.

Yes, this is easier said than done.  What works this time might not work next time.  First attempt to take an action to release anxiety may fail and require a different attempt.  You may need a combo of things.  You might need therapy, you might even need to take an SSRI.

The important thing in all of this is not letting your anxiety and the fear it’s hiding overwhelm you.  You need to find a way to get ahold of it, you need to work on actions to change how you are feeling.  You need to alter your focus on what you are thinking about.

I struggle with this.  But I know I am not alone in this matter.  And neither are you.  Together, we can overcome fear and anxiety, and we can live the life of abundance and contentment and joy that is our right to have.  This is not an entitled statement, this is the nature of a universe where consciousness creates reality.  I believe this to be true, I’ve proven it before…I just have to work with, instead of against, the anxiety and release it to make room for better feelings.

How do you cope with anxiety?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 11:

Diet: Still tracking my intake, and looking to cut back my carbs and sugars.  So much easier said than done.

Exercise: Fencing happened, but I never got to the gym.  I did spend a day chasing a toddler around.  I have begun to make use of the Fitbit I was gifted by my wife and joined a group tracking steps to a goal.

Writing: Five days of writing.  Figured out the plot for the sci-fi novel I’ve been working on.  Yes, now you know that I write stories without a complete plot as they come to me.

Meditation: I spent at least 5 minutes meditating four days last week. I am getting better at taking the time for myself to do this, now I just need my cat to stop helping.

This is taking shape as a helpful tool.

 

 

This is the two-hundred twenty first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Repetition is not Insanity

Albert Einstein said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

This is so very simple.  If you try the exact same thing time and again with no variations, you will get the same results.  That’s a big part of what scientific testing is all about.

Every single week I post Positivity.  Is it insanity?  No.  Why?  Because I am not doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

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I am always looking for new things to be positive about.  I am constantly exploring new ways in which to create positivity.  I am trying variations on the theme every week because I think we need more positivity in the world, and I strive to present some.

I will concede that this could be considered insanity.  I post this every single week, and have been for more than two years now.  Has the world become more positive?  I think you could easily argue the exact opposite.

That’s not important, however.  I have not given up.  I work every week to introduce some positivity into this world because even if I make myself feel more positive, that improves the world.  Every.  Single.  One.  Of.  Us.  Counts.

I don’t present these posts on positivity every week hoping for a great big, universal epiphany.  Sure, I would love to garner thousands of followers and lucrative writing deals from my work, but this is more important than that.  Even on the days when this beacon of positivity is submerged in the depths of negativity, it is still a beacon, and it is still something to be shared and to do my part to help make more people feel good.

I may be doing this thing over and over again, but never in quite the same manner, and I have no expectations of results.  So perhaps it is insanity, or even folly to post positivity every week, but I do not believe that is so.

We can always find things to be positive about.  We can break free of the shackles of negativity, we can be a ray of hope in the sea of despair.  I know that seems hard to believe sometimes, but it doesn’t make it any less true.  Finding positivity lets us be empowered, and when we are empowered we can feel good, and when we feel good we can spread that to those around us.

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I have no intent of stopping giving you thoughts on positivity every week.  Partially because this is selfish – I need to remind myself to be more positive, too.  I believe that this is a service to my friends and loved ones to show us all that as bleak as things may appear, there are bright things that we can feel good about, and we deserve to feel positive and feel good.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that it’s not insanity to try something like finding positivity to better our lives, we can continue to take new approaches to the same issue.  When we accept that it can be repetitive, and that the results may not be grand but are still worthwhile and important, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred twelfth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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An open letter to fellow Americans

Dear America,

When did we accept hatred as the standard?  When did we decide that after almost a century of progress it was perfectly ok to allow unrestrained racists, sexists, bigots, misogynists, warmongers and fearmongers to be our leaders again?  When did we decide that it was better to praise and follow the blindly faithful and ignorant rather than the logical and intelligent?

How did we get to this place where our choices for leadership from one party includes a zealot and a narcissist and the other side is a corporate shill and an idealist?

The one side became polarized over the past 30 years or so because they allowed special interests, religious fanatics and closeted bigots gain control.  And they wonder why they cannot stop this monster Dr. Frankenstein has unleashed on us?

The other side became polarized over the past 30 years or so because they allowed special interests, a lack of conviction and an unclear agenda gain control.  And they wonder why so many distrust the party leaderships’ Chosen One and prefer the idealist?

Do you want this country to return to segregation, to the failed principles of separate but equal?  Do you want the corporate bosses to be your slave masters again?  Do you really want to see those who are poor and disabled and hurting simply left to die?  Do you want to allow the greedy to destroy this planet so they can turn ludicrous profits that never trickle down to anyone else?  Do you want to live your life in fear?

This is what you have to take into consideration when it comes to the election this year.  I am not just talking about the Presidency, I am talking about ALL of those up for reelection.  Congress has become an obstructionist mouthpiece of those who pay for their elections.  Special interests and corporate hacks have taken control, and they will not stop until the rich are so rich that they can afford to leave the planet they are destroying, while the rest of us let them take everything we hold dear and wonder where it all went wrong.

Fear is not a healthy basis for a system of government.  Hate, exclusionism, greed, racism, bigotry, misogyny and sexism are all just alternate versions of fear.  Fear enslaves us to the will of others, and those who have the power continue to make it clear that they want only to garner more power.

Please stop being afraid, America.  Please stop fearing change, stop fearing the unknown, stop being afraid of anyone and anything different from you.  Please remember that our Declaration of Independence that was the blueprint for the forming of this nation says,  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

America is not a land of Christians only.  It is not a land of Whites only. America is not a land of men only.  It is not a land of rich only.  It is NOT a nation of exclusion – American was founded on the principles of inclusion.

Building walls to keep out those who are different is not American.  Creating laws that forbid marriage is not American.  Creating laws that belittle ANY citizen, black or white, man or woman, gay or straight, religious or atheist is NOT American.  We are a nation of tolerance, we are a nation of freedom, we are a nation of inclusion…and it is time that we reclaim that.

Please release the fear, America.  Isolating ourselves, registering those who hold different beliefs and limiting resources for only the wealthy is what this nation was founded to stand against.  What we choose this year will reverberate very differently from our past choices.  We can reclaim our nation from the greedy, from the special interests, from those who don’t care about us but only about themselves…or we can give them even more power, and disempower ourselves and let America truly cease to be great.

Fear is not the answer.  Fear is un-American.  Please, please examine this and consider if you want to empower the people who only take, and are giving nothing back to you but fear, death, poverty, and war.

Is being American about being afraid?  No.

Please stop being afraid, America.  For the sake of us all, for the sake of our children, do not let fear make your decision in these elections.

With Respect,

A concerned American.

Pathwalking 220

Trying to align my beliefs, emotions, thoughts and actions is an interesting challenge.

In order to manifest anything, I know that I have to combine thought with feeling and then take intentional actions.

That’s a major oversimplification of the process, however.  It is much more involved, and the pitfalls can be overwhelming.

What am I going on about?  Let me explain.

I have successfully manifested things in my life.  I have managed to make things happen through a combination of factors, but I know that I was still at the core of the manifestation of these things.

I healed fully from injuries that didn’t just leave me scarred, but could have left me disabled.  I was able to get a car when it looked from every angle like that would be impossible.

These are, admittedly, two very different things – yet they are still connected.  It is in figuring out HOW they are connected that I can work on manifesting again.

Recently I came across a new resource, which takes a more in depth look at Universal Laws.  I don’t need to get into detail about that here, but there was one point in particular that struck a chord with me.

Manifesting things is not what anyone really wants.

As I analyze the unconnected healing and acquisition of my car, how are they related?

When I was injured, I did not accept any outcome but total recovery.  I would get back full usage of my body, I would be as capable as I was before I was hurt and partially made out of titanium.  I persevered, I pushed, and I made a recovery so complete that unless I show you the scars or tell you what happened to me, you would not know.

Here’s the new factor in this.  Why did I accept no other outcome?  Because I wanted to feel good.  I wanted to still have the freedom to fence, to hike, to explore the world around me.  I wanted to have experiences similar to those I was able to have before I was badly injured.

When I needed to replace my dying car, I knew that I could make it happen.  Despite financial woes, despite no apparent way to make it happen, I knew without a doubt that I could.  And as such I wound up with a newer, more efficient and mechanically sound car, and payments not much higher than I’d been making for the dying car.

Here’s the new factor to this.  Why did I know I could make this happen even when it looked impossible?  Because I wanted to feel free.  I wanted to be able to go to work, go to spend time with friends and go places I needed to go without concern.  I wanted to be free of an unwanted association the old car trapped me in.  I wanted to experience things that a lack of reliable transportation would deny me.

What I am seeing anew is that it was not about acquiring the thing nor about recovering from the injury so much as it was about what having those things would mean.  I didn’t just want to heal completely because I wanted to be without the injuries I had taken, I wanted to remain capable of being free and able to have new experiences I might not otherwise be able to have.  I didn’t just want to replace my car for the sake of a newer car, I wanted to remain capable of being free and able to have new experiences I might not otherwise be able to have.

The connection, ergo, is that manifestation is not about the material or immaterial thing I am trying to manifest.  It goes much deeper than that.  It is really all about underlying feelings, desires, and actions.

Why do I want the things I want?  Because having them will offer me more freedom, joy, happiness, contentedness, space for creativity and building positivity.

For example – I would like a new job.  On the surface this is because I want to earn more money, and I want to work somewhere that utilizes any number of my skills and where I feel appreciated.

Why?  On the surface because I will be more able to pay bills and contribute to my household, and I will experience being part of a team, making use of my abilities and taking pride in my work.

But when I go deeper, the why leads me to being freer to create, being more able to do things I enjoy with friends and family, and have new adventures and explore new experiences on any number of levels.

Even knowing this, however, the challenge of aligning my beliefs, emotions, thoughts and actions remains.  But knowing that the end result is by no means the end, maybe I can better coordinate my process.

I have done this before successfully.  I know I can do it again, I just need to consider the pieces on the board, and move them around in the best way I can to achieve my goals.  Knowing that the goals are themselves steps to new goals and ideas and options, I think I might have more to work with.

Have you manifested things material or immaterial for your life?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 10:

Diet: I am keeping with tracking my diet.  I can see where I need to make changes, now it’s just a matter of making them.

Exercise: Fencing happened, got to the gym only once, but I took a 2.5 mile walk on one day and did some pretty aerobic hiking on another.

Writing: Four days of writing.  A day short of my goal, but writing happened.

Meditation: I spent at least 3 minutes meditating five days last week. This is a good thing.

I need to continue to work with using the goal log to improve my choices and get into the mental and physical shape I want to be in.

 

This is the two-hundred twentieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Holidays and Celebrations

Everyday can be a holiday.

That means that every day we can find something to celebrate.

There are so many holidays out there that have very specific meanings.  Beyond that, there are feast days for Saints every single day.  So why do we only choose to celebrate on these specific days?

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Halloween, Presidents’ Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Arbor Day, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Barthdays…these are just some of the familiar holidays.  Then there are more obscure ones like Talk like a Pirate Day and today being Pi Day.

Why do we reserve celebration for holidays?  Why do we feel the need to slog through the rest of our days, hour by hour, in order to celebrate during just those specific times?  Why do we take such pains to reserve joy?

When all is said and done, I think we all want the same thing, but via different routes.  We all want to be happy.

I don’t mean euphoric, out-of-body, head-in-the-clouds happy, I mean happy as opposed to depressed, sad, low, discontent.  I mean that sense that you are content, lacking anxiety, pleased with life, feeling positive.

Everybody wants to feel good.  Everybody wants to be loved.  Somehow we have been taught that love, joy, celebration, and happiness all come in limited quantities, and we need to hold to them tightly.  Somehow we have come to believe that there is not enough happiness for everyone, so we need to be greedy with ours, and not share because there’s not enough.

This is untrue.  The universe is abundant, and there is more than enough happiness to go around.  Happiness is probably the one thing that EVERYONE is entitled too.  But it’s not something limited, something that has to be earned, it is something to be shared, to be spread, to connect and unite us.

No, you can’t be happy all the time, and that is partially because we need to feel the opposites in order to have balance.  But that does not mean we should only feel happy rarely.  We have the right to feel happy more often than not.  Why do we accept so easily that we need to put limits on this?

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You don’t need a holiday to be happy.  You can celebrate the littlest things if that brings you joy.  Happiness is not to be reserved only for the rich, or only for those who earn it – it is for everybody, and there is more than enough to go around.

So let’s all eat pie this Pi Day to celebrate.  And then Saint Patrick’s Day later this week.  And then Random Happiness Day Just Because – whenever.  Celebrations create positivity, and with positivity we create happiness.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that we don’t need a holiday in order to have a celebration, we can celebrate whatever whenever we want.  When we find more things to celebrate, we build more good feelings and when we feel good we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eleventh entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 219

Anger is a fascinating subject.

I have a lot of anger in me.  Some is, at least as far as I am concerned, completely rational and likely justified.  Some, however, is old, long ignored, semi-forgotten…but still there.

While fear is probably the biggest obstacle I face as I walk my path, anger is a close second.

I have not written much about anger before because I work very hard to keep my anger in check.

Unfortunately, that does not release it.  That just redistributes it elsewhere.

Yoda said it well.  “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

The connection between fear and anger is easy to disregard, but it is still problematic nonetheless.  I am realizing that I have to release my anger in some form or other, because much like my fear, it cripples me.

As with fear, I am not saying that we can and should be without anger.  Anger is a natural experience, and we are all going to get angry at times for different reasons.  It’s important to not deny the feeling, but equally important to do something about it.  Holding on to it does not get us anywhere useful, and generally worsens the feeling.

Hard to avoid the current election insanity in the United States.  There is so much fear and anger being wielded like forks and spoons at a banquet that it’s just become accepted that this is how we should feel.  It is hard not to look at it and be disturbed by it.

We get mixed signals when it comes to fear and anger.  We’re expected to hold onto them, to let them dictate our actions and influence our choices.  The thing is, both fear and anger tend to rob us of rational thought.

How do you let go of anger?

This is the question I am looking into here.  I am very surprised just how much anger I am holding onto.  Some is recent events, some is based on expectation of future events, and some is old, old stuff from the distant past.  I never really explored the depths of my anger, and didn’t realize just how tied in with my fear it actually is.

The what of my anger is not important to this discussion.  The important aspect of this is acknowledging that I have this pent up anger, and that I really need to figure out how to let it go.

One of the reasons this is as pent up as it is goes back to my past.  I used to release my anger in some relatively unhealthy ways.  I feel it important to point out here that I was never abusive to anyone, but inanimate objects were known to get tossed around.  I smashed a couple cordless phones.  I punched a few walls.  I used to rage at traffic (and sometimes I still do, actually).  I would get VERY loud and very threatening.

I don’t like this about myself.  So I worked on means to calm myself.  Meditation, redirection, finding ways to keep my anger in check.  What I am realizing now is that while I have for the most part not reacted to my anger as I used to, I am bottling it up more than I realized.  As such it is causing me as much anxiety and dis-ease as any fears I contend with.

I need to find an outlet to release my anger.

These are the options I am going to be exploring.

Write it out.  I need to accept the things that have been, are, and will be making me feel angry.  That’s first.  Once I accept this, I should sit down and type out in detail what I am angry about.  Shout via the keyboard, rage, release.  Angry letters written to people I feel wronged by, angry rants about these issues.  FOR ME.  These should not be shared, because this is wholly my own issue.  But putting words to it should draw it out.  Might need to print this and burn it or tear it to shreds to release it.

Shout it out.  Primal screaming can be really useful.  I can find somewhere I can scream and rage until my throat is raw and I feel spent.  I can go into an entire rant to myself about the things angering me to get them out of my system.  Again, this is something to be done on my own, but I think it would go a long ways towards getting this negativity from my system.  The important thing is to verbalize to release.  Probably best done when I am all alone in a safe environment.

Run it out.  I need to do something physical specifically to release my anger.  Might need a punching bag.  Might need to run at the gym.  Might need to skip rocks off a lake.  Might need to swing a sword around and drive out the anger.  Anything that will release this pent-up emotion and let me move forward.  Physical action specifically to clear away anger can be done.

Anger cannot be avoided, it should not be denied.  But it should not be allowed to simmer and linger and fester because then you wind up down the line with issues that will make any path you are trying to traverse more complicated.  Anger, like fear, is a destructive negative emotion that we need to experience, but we also need to release as soon as we can to make way for constructive positive emotions.

I have some work to do.

How do you cope with anger?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 9:

Diet: I am still tracking what I am eating daily.  I really need to be more conscious of my choices.

Exercise: Fencing happened, got to the gym twice and broke out the Wii Fit one day.  I still need to increase my exercise routine.

Writing: Five days of writing.  Goal reached.

Meditation: I spent no less than 3 minutes meditating three days last week.  It’s a start.

Now I need to work on using the goal log to improve my choices and get into the shape I want to be in.

 

This is the two-hundred nineteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

New book – Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better

I have an idea.

What would happen if we decided to think before we speak more frequently? Further, this being the 21st century and all, what if we decided to think before we post?

Why? To change the discourse of our society for the better.

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All too often we are inundated with anger, with hate, with negativity. What’s more, we tend to spread it out further by talking about these terrible things and posting about them online.

What if instead we change the conversation to more constructive things? What if we don’t spread our anger across the internet, but instead spread messages of encouragement and hope and love?

That is the entire premise of Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better. This short book I have created explores just that – taking five easy steps to think before we speak and post in order to change the course of our world.

Please check it out in Kindle and print format. My hope is that this simple idea can spread and improve things for everyone.

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Positivity: Be Happy

I want to be happy.

Don’t you? Doesn’t that sound like a fantastic idea?

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What do we have to do to feel happy?

That’s the challenge we all face. In especial when we’re inundated with conflict and messages of exclusion and hate and fear. Hard to find happy when there are so many messages that are the opposite.

It is time to take back our power and do what it takes to be happy.

It might be something grand, like taking a vacation or relocating to another country or selling off all your possessions and walking the earth. To each their own.

It might be a bit easier than that. Go online and look for silly cat pictures. Watch dogs and other animals do ridiculously cute things. Go outside and sit in the sun. Go outside and sit in the rain. Walk in the woods. Do anything physical. Put on a movie or TV show or any video that makes you feel good, that makes you feel happy. Spend time with loved ones. Eat chocolate. Read a book.

Why do we deny ourselves opportunities to be happy? Because we have come to believe that we don’t deserve it.

We have been taught that happiness is something earned. You can’t just have it, it is not your right it is a privilege. You have to work to be happy. You have to put out effort and struggle and sacrifice to be happy.

This is completely backwards. Happiness shouldn’t just be some reward, it is everybody’s right. We all deserve happiness, we all should be able to find happiness in whatever forms we can. It doesn’t need to be some reward for a job well done or hard work, it should just be something we are all worthy of. We are all deserving of happiness.

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What makes me happy is probably different from what makes you happy. Nothing wrong with that, but we have to recognize that nobody’s happiness should be at the expense of anyone else’s. You being happy does not detract from my being happy, so we should all have opportunities, means and options to be happy.

Positivity builds happiness. Feeling positive leads to feeling good, which is a key to feeling happy. It’s pretty close to impossible to feel happy when you are dealing in negativity.

Claim your happiness. Don’t be afraid, do whatever you can to feel happy.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that we all want to be happy, and it is not something we need to earn, we should take steps to do things that make us feel happy. When we work on being happy, we make ourselves feel good, and in the process we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred tenth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

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