The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: October 2015 (Page 1 of 2)

Pathwalking 200

What is normal?

I have been asking this question for most of my life. I haven’t the foggiest idea of what it is to be normal.

Society is constantly talking about the “norms”, the things that are acceptable for people to do and be, and we judge people based upon where in this artifice they fit.

Everyone has a different definition of what is normal. These definitions get applied to different things in our lives based on our jobs, our families, our communities, our affiliations and so on and so forth. We use the term normal frequently.

A normal family. A normal job. A normal day at work. The normal drink at the coffee shop.

Normal is based on perception, but mostly it’s based on the perception of others. We view outside things as normal or abnormal or weird or freaky or simply off based on what society tells us it should be.

I believe that a lot of the conflicts we experience in our lives are due to attempts to achieve the societal perceptions of normalcy. When we fail to be normal, we draw attention to ourselves, and as such we create conflict where none should exist.

What do I mean? Let’s take relationships as an example. For a very long time a “normal” marriage was between a man and a woman. Marriage between two men or two women was not considered normal, and conflict ensued. Even when we accept same-sex marriage as normal, what about polygamy, polyamory and other such concepts of family, relationships and marriages? What makes any one more normal than the other?

This is where the problem lies. When we create what we consider a “normal”, we inadvertently also create not-the-normals. Once upon a time the “normal” family was a husband, a wife and a kid or two. Single-parent families were not normal, let alone single-gender parent families. We judged the normalcy of the people we encountered because society told us they did not meet the standard.

I grew up outside of the normal pretty much all my life. Normal family unit? Nope, single-parent family. Normal religious affiliation? Nope, raised Jewish in a predominantly Lutheran community. Played football or baseball or some sport? Nope, acted in plays and sang in choirs – even lettered in both in High School.

All my life I have been told that I am a little off. A little unusual. Weird. Geeky. Nerdy. An odd looking fellow (seriously, some random dude in Santa Fe, NM came up to me on the street out of the blue to shake my hand and tell me this). However you add it up, I have always been perceived as some flavor of unusual.

I am not what anyone would call normal. But rather than adjust myself to meet the norms, or to live up to anyone else’s judgement of normal…I embrace my abnormal existence.

I cannot begin to tell you how freeing it is to not be constrained to be “normal”. I am a much happier, more grounded soul because rather than try to make core changes against my own nature to meet someone else’s artificial understanding of what is normal, I strive to just be myself.

Pathwalking is my personal process for working to be my most genuine self. Rather than being held back to the societal norm, I am choosing instead to create my own destiny, to make my own way, to do my own thing.

It has been almost four years since I began this process. While there are still improvements to be made and room for growth, that is simply what life is all about. I have come a very long way from where I was and who I was, and I believe that I am better for it. I am overall calmer, happier, in a better place in my life, and as such more capable of receiving the things I most want to manifest for myself.

There is nothing wrong with not being normal. It gets joked about, it is the point of numerous movies and tv-shows, it’s the impetus for any number of hero’s journeys in any number of stories. The thing is, rather than take this to heart and use it to our advantage, we still attempt to place ourselves and others into what is considered “normal”.

It is not easy to break from the norm. I get asked a lot of questions by a lot of people about the how of my life that I find I am sometimes uncomfortable answering. I am not uncomfortable because I feel I have chosen poorly…I am uncomfortable because I am only human, and sometimes the fear of being judged by others can be rather disheartening. This is a part of my work in progress.

I am a Pathwalker. I have chosen and continue to create the direction of my own life. I know what I do is not “normal” in a myriad of ways…and I embrace this. I believe that if more people embrace their own weirdness, their own geekiness, abnormalities, and more importantly their own uniqueness…we all can live better, happier, more fulfilling lives.

Consider this the next time you are in a discussion or reading about the notion of “normal”. Maybe the whole concept should be abandoned, and instead we should embrace a new normal – the normal of the individual and all the quirks therein.

If you prefer to do your own thing and not be constrained by the expectations of normal, take that into consideration before you declare something, someone or some situation to be normal or otherwise.

What do you consider normal, and does normalcy restrict what you want to do and be in life?

 

 

This is the two-hundredth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Intentions

How do you want your day to be? What are your intentions?

The power of intent is something we take for granted. We fail to see that we have the ability to manifest not just once in a while, not just on a special occasion or due to a dire need, but all day, every day.

One of the key elements of manifestation is intention. Intent is not the starting point so much as it is the direction. What begins as an idea becomes energized when you add an intention to make it more than just a thought.

IMG_0547

This process works on a lot of different levels, great and small. Trouble is, we don’t often realize how powerful intention is, and so we allow our minds to wander and our intent to track to the negative.

If you get caught up in negativity, your intent is often to get out of negativity. This can be a problem, because your dominant thinking is on a negative thing, and as such you are putting your energy and your intentions into it even further.

I feel sad. I intend to stop feeling sad. Ok, great…but you have just stated that you are all about feeling sad. This means that you have already limited your emotional response, and you are trying to undo what is already about.

Truth be told, this does not work. Don’t believe me? How well did Prohibition work? The war on drugs? Violent upheaval in answer to violence? Never does what it intends to do, because the intent makes manifest the thing you don’t actually want.

Change your intent not to stop or undo or reverse what you have, but to focus on the opposite. I feel sad. I intend to feel happy. It’s best to take a strong statement, not simply I intend to feel better, which is kind of mushy and rather subjective. Also – better than what? This statement lacks clarity, and clarity in intention helps make the intent manifest.

This may strike you as overly simple, but you’ll be surprised how much more powerful creating a new and positive intent is over trying to un-make what you already have.

clover

This is not just spiritual mumbo-jumbo, this is science. How? Science tells us that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it just changes form. Intention is energy, so what kind of energy you are playing with and putting out to the universe matters. When what you have is not what you want, focusing on undoing it just keeps it around. Change the intent, change the focus to the things you DO want.

Can you see that what you intend will go a long ways towards creating Positivity?

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that you can choose your intentions, you can use this to manifest more and greater positivity in your life. When we use intentions to give energy to the good things we desire and the way we want to feel, we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the ninety-first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Positivity: Intentions

How do you want your day to be? What are your intentions?

The power of intent is something we take for granted. We fail to see that we have the ability to manifest not just once in a while, not just on a special occasion or due to a dire need, but all day, every day.

One of the key elements of manifestation is intention. Intent is not the starting point so much as it is the direction. What begins as an idea becomes energized when you add an intention to make it more than just a thought.

IMG_0547

This process works on a lot of different levels, great and small. Trouble is, we don’t often realize how powerful intention is, and so we allow our minds to wander and our intent to track to the negative.

If you get caught up in negativity, your intent is often to get out of negativity. This can be a problem, because your dominant thinking is on a negative thing, and as such you are putting your energy and your intentions into it even further.

I feel sad. I intend to stop feeling sad. Ok, great…but you have just stated that you are all about feeling sad. This means that you have already limited your emotional response, and you are trying to undo what is already about.

Truth be told, this does not work. Don’t believe me? How well did Prohibition work? The war on drugs? Violent upheaval in answer to violence? Never does what it intends to do, because the intent makes manifest the thing you don’t actually want.

Change your intent not to stop or undo or reverse what you have, but to focus on the opposite. I feel sad. I intend to feel happy. It’s best to take a strong statement, not simply I intend to feel better, which is kind of mushy and rather subjective. Also – better than what? This statement lacks clarity, and clarity in intention helps make the intent manifest.

This may strike you as overly simple, but you’ll be surprised how much more powerful creating a new and positive intent is over trying to un-make what you already have.

clover

This is not just spiritual mumbo-jumbo, this is science. How? Science tells us that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it just changes form. Intention is energy, so what kind of energy you are playing with and putting out to the universe matters. When what you have is not what you want, focusing on undoing it just keeps it around. Change the intent, change the focus to the things you DO want.

Can you see that what you intend will go a long ways towards creating Positivity?

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that you can choose your intentions, you can use this to manifest more and greater positivity in your life. When we use intentions to give energy to the good things we desire and the way we want to feel, we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the ninety-first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Coming soon: Finder – The Source Chronicles Book II

A year ago I decided that I had waited long enough; it was time to publish my fantasy series.

Seeker – The Source Chronicles Book I was begun in 1998. After several reworks and a professional editor, I tried to find representation for many many years.

BookCoverImage

Welcome to the 21st century. I determined it was time to self-publish. Thus I created Argent Hedgehog Press, and I formatted the book and Seeker was released into the wild.

The Source Chronicles began as a quartet of books, until book three, Harbinger, became far larger than anticipated. So The Source Chronicles is to be five books (Seeker, Finder, Harbinger, Guardians, Healers).

When I published Seeker last year, I promised that I would be publishing Finder this year. Well, it has taken a tad longer than I had wanted it to, but Finder is currently being edited!

I am still planning to publish Finder before the end of November.

Thank you everyone for your patience, and for your wonderful reviews! I hope that you will enjoy Finder as much as you enjoyed Seeker.

If you have not yet read Seeker, by all means, please go get a copy and read! If you have, and you are eagerly awaiting Finder, let me give you a little teaser preview…

sourcemapwebsm

 

 

Here there may be spoilers if you did not read Seeker…be forewarned…

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am pretty sure that there might be spoilers if you didn’t read Seeker. This is your second to last warning…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, you have been duly warned.

 

 

 

 

Three years have passed since Cam Murtallan helped to bring about peace and stability between Sharron and Medaelia. In the interveneing years he served both King Varlock-Sharron Anduin of Sharron and Queen Lyrra-Sharron Anduin of Medaelia as a companion and advisor. He studied from their libraries all that he could, and discovered clues that set him back on his path as Seeker to uncover the mystery that is The Source.

Cam has left his companions and journeyed across the sea to the continent of Nortamia and the nation of Vilcarr. Cam once more takes up his prophetic role as The Seeker, as he works to discover The Source.

Cam will make new friends and allies, and for the first time encounter other sorcerers. He is drawn to meet his destiny, but that will not happen without new challenges, perils and more!

Finder – The Source Chronicles Book II will be available soon. Keep watching for more information!

 

Thank you for all of your support!

Coming soon: Finder – The Source Chronicles Book II

A year ago I decided that I had waited long enough; it was time to publish my fantasy series.

Seeker – The Source Chronicles Book I was begun in 1998. After several reworks and a professional editor, I tried to find representation for many many years.

BookCoverImage

Welcome to the 21st century. I determined it was time to self-publish. Thus I created Argent Hedgehog Press, and I formatted the book and Seeker was released into the wild.

The Source Chronicles began as a quartet of books, until book three, Harbinger, became far larger than anticipated. So The Source Chronicles is to be five books (Seeker, Finder, Harbinger, Guardians, Healers).

When I published Seeker last year, I promised that I would be publishing Finder this year. Well, it has taken a tad longer than I had wanted it to, but Finder is currently being edited!

I am still planning to publish Finder before the end of November.

Thank you everyone for your patience, and for your wonderful reviews! I hope that you will enjoy Finder as much as you enjoyed Seeker.

If you have not yet read Seeker, by all means, please go get a copy and read! If you have, and you are eagerly awaiting Finder, let me give you a little teaser preview…

sourcemapwebsm

 

 

Here there may be spoilers if you did not read Seeker…be forewarned…

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am pretty sure that there might be spoilers if you didn’t read Seeker. This is your second to last warning…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, you have been duly warned.

 

 

 

 

Three years have passed since Cam Murtallan helped to bring about peace and stability between Sharron and Medaelia. In the interveneing years he served both King Varlock-Sharron Anduin of Sharron and Queen Lyrra-Sharron Anduin of Medaelia as a companion and advisor. He studied from their libraries all that he could, and discovered clues that set him back on his path as Seeker to uncover the mystery that is The Source.

Cam has left his companions and journeyed across the sea to the continent of Nortamia and the nation of Vilcarr. Cam once more takes up his prophetic role as The Seeker, as he works to discover The Source.

Cam will make new friends and allies, and for the first time encounter other sorcerers. He is drawn to meet his destiny, but that will not happen without new challenges, perils and more!

Finder – The Source Chronicles Book II will be available soon. Keep watching for more information!

 

Thank you for all of your support!

Pathwalking 199

Catharsis is important to being able to walk a chosen path.

It never ceases to amaze me how easily emotional baggage accumulates. No matter how much we think we are purging as we go, we still manage to hold on to outdated materials.

What’s more, often you don’t even realize you are still holding onto things that you are, and they are still effecting current actions.

I don’t know what it is about human nature that we generally cling to the past. For some reason, we are loathe to simply move forward without dragging along with us that which is behind us.

Some past matters cannot just simply be let go of. We need to actually take actions to let them go. Sometimes we don’t recognize this right away, but when we do I think it’s a good idea to act to get rid of them.

What kinds of actions are you talking about? Since we cannot erase memories we do not want or that no longer help us, ala Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, we have to take certain other actions to achieve catharsis.

Dictionary.com defines Catharsis thus:

The purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, especially through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music.

Ergo, this can be applied not only to ridding ourselves of past baggage, but also of current emotional issues.

These are some actions we can take to help us to achieve this end:

Writing. Journaling can be really useful in purging our emotional states, and tracking how we feel and what we want to achieve and accomplish. This has been a primary component in Pathwalking for me, which is why I write this weekly. However, another helpful thing you can do is to write a letter you will never deliver.

If there is a person who you feel wronged by, or hurt by, or let down by; or an institution, an organization, or what-have-you – writing out an emotionally charged letter to get matters off your chest can go a long ways towards releasing tensions and finding catharsis. I have done this before, and even in one case shared the letter I wrote not because it was hurtful, but because we needed to clear the air between us. This is especially helpful when the hurt or anger or sadness is particularly rooted deep, and you need to metaphorically dig it out to clear the ground to plant something new and better.

Drawing. I am not much of an artist myself, but I know a lot of people for whom drawing things brings relief and is a particularly cathartic act. It may not even have to do directly with a particular emotional tension, but it is a good general idea to help relieve tension and combat stressful emotions.

Doodling is drawing. I had in almost every high school and college notebook doodles all over the margins. Some were to alleviate boredom, but some were to stave off emotional tensions. I often doodled almost sub-consciously.

Coloring. There is a current trend for adult coloring books. This is a really cathartic idea. As children, most of us loved to color, so it is perfectly logical that as adults we still find relief from pressure in this act. There is something in putting the colors into the lines and watching art unfold that is extremely calming. I am rather amazed, frankly, that we didn’t figure this idea out sooner.

It does not matter what medium you choose, be it crayons or colored pencils or markers. It is a powerful act to create art in any form, be it drawing or just coloring or painting, and the catharsis is worthwhile.

Making music. Are you a singer? Do you play a musical instrument? Either way, taking some time to practice this art, whether you sing in the car or the shower or play a guitar during your lunch break, can provide huge emotional release. There is nothing like singing your heart out to relieve tension, or playing whatever instrument you play to work through and bring out emotions. The energy of this act is very cathartic.

Even if you do not sing or play an instrument, just immersing yourself in music can be a powerful tool. Nothing like blasting an angry rock anthem as you cruise down the highway to envelop yourself in a feeling. Most of the time when I am writing I have music in the background that offers inspiration, and helps to build emotion. Music is particularly powerful for awakening the senses and evoking feelings.

These are just a few suggestions for ways to get control of our emotions. Pathwalking is about taking control of my own destiny, and making my own way in this world as I wish to make it. Having control over how I feel is a large part of this, and that is why finding catharsis is very useful.

I don’t normally use Pathwalking to make any sort of political or social commentary, but this topic in my mind demands it. Catharsis is why we need art and music in our schools. Tests and athletics have their place, but human beings need the arts in our lives. Cutting funding for these threatens to emotionally cripple ourselves in ways I don’t think we’ve begun to consider. Appreciating art is important, but making art is too.

We all have things we hold onto that we need to let go of. Using cathartic things is a great way to do that. We have a lot of options to make this happen, and really this is the very definition of taking inspired action. Who knows where else this type of thing could lead you?

What do you do to find catharsis?

 

This is the one-hundred ninety ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 199

Catharsis is important to being able to walk a chosen path.

It never ceases to amaze me how easily emotional baggage accumulates. No matter how much we think we are purging as we go, we still manage to hold on to outdated materials.

What’s more, often you don’t even realize you are still holding onto things that you are, and they are still effecting current actions.

I don’t know what it is about human nature that we generally cling to the past. For some reason, we are loathe to simply move forward without dragging along with us that which is behind us.

Some past matters cannot just simply be let go of. We need to actually take actions to let them go. Sometimes we don’t recognize this right away, but when we do I think it’s a good idea to act to get rid of them.

What kinds of actions are you talking about? Since we cannot erase memories we do not want or that no longer help us, ala Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, we have to take certain other actions to achieve catharsis.

Dictionary.com defines Catharsis thus:

The purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, especially through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music.

Ergo, this can be applied not only to ridding ourselves of past baggage, but also of current emotional issues.

These are some actions we can take to help us to achieve this end:

Writing. Journaling can be really useful in purging our emotional states, and tracking how we feel and what we want to achieve and accomplish. This has been a primary component in Pathwalking for me, which is why I write this weekly. However, another helpful thing you can do is to write a letter you will never deliver.

If there is a person who you feel wronged by, or hurt by, or let down by; or an institution, an organization, or what-have-you – writing out an emotionally charged letter to get matters off your chest can go a long ways towards releasing tensions and finding catharsis. I have done this before, and even in one case shared the letter I wrote not because it was hurtful, but because we needed to clear the air between us. This is especially helpful when the hurt or anger or sadness is particularly rooted deep, and you need to metaphorically dig it out to clear the ground to plant something new and better.

Drawing. I am not much of an artist myself, but I know a lot of people for whom drawing things brings relief and is a particularly cathartic act. It may not even have to do directly with a particular emotional tension, but it is a good general idea to help relieve tension and combat stressful emotions.

Doodling is drawing. I had in almost every high school and college notebook doodles all over the margins. Some were to alleviate boredom, but some were to stave off emotional tensions. I often doodled almost sub-consciously.

Coloring. There is a current trend for adult coloring books. This is a really cathartic idea. As children, most of us loved to color, so it is perfectly logical that as adults we still find relief from pressure in this act. There is something in putting the colors into the lines and watching art unfold that is extremely calming. I am rather amazed, frankly, that we didn’t figure this idea out sooner.

It does not matter what medium you choose, be it crayons or colored pencils or markers. It is a powerful act to create art in any form, be it drawing or just coloring or painting, and the catharsis is worthwhile.

Making music. Are you a singer? Do you play a musical instrument? Either way, taking some time to practice this art, whether you sing in the car or the shower or play a guitar during your lunch break, can provide huge emotional release. There is nothing like singing your heart out to relieve tension, or playing whatever instrument you play to work through and bring out emotions. The energy of this act is very cathartic.

Even if you do not sing or play an instrument, just immersing yourself in music can be a powerful tool. Nothing like blasting an angry rock anthem as you cruise down the highway to envelop yourself in a feeling. Most of the time when I am writing I have music in the background that offers inspiration, and helps to build emotion. Music is particularly powerful for awakening the senses and evoking feelings.

These are just a few suggestions for ways to get control of our emotions. Pathwalking is about taking control of my own destiny, and making my own way in this world as I wish to make it. Having control over how I feel is a large part of this, and that is why finding catharsis is very useful.

I don’t normally use Pathwalking to make any sort of political or social commentary, but this topic in my mind demands it. Catharsis is why we need art and music in our schools. Tests and athletics have their place, but human beings need the arts in our lives. Cutting funding for these threatens to emotionally cripple ourselves in ways I don’t think we’ve begun to consider. Appreciating art is important, but making art is too.

We all have things we hold onto that we need to let go of. Using cathartic things is a great way to do that. We have a lot of options to make this happen, and really this is the very definition of taking inspired action. Who knows where else this type of thing could lead you?

What do you do to find catharsis?

 

This is the one-hundred ninety ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Autumn

The beauty of nature is particularly poignant in autumn.

Living in the Northeastern US, I get to see a dramatic changing of the season. The leaves turn the most amazing shades of gold and red and orange, and the foliage is impressive during this time of the year.

fall 2015

Unfortunately, for many, this marks the beginning of a less pleasant season. Fall leads to winter, and winter for a lot of us does not lend itself to feeling happy. The cold, the grey and white and other drab colors of the approaching season, plus often less sunlight, can be unpleasant for some of us.

Rather than dwell on what is coming, I choose instead this year to focus on what we have now. Amazing colors, generally reasonable and pleasant weather, that smell in the air that speaks of warm hearths and opportunities to cuddle with loved ones.

This is a time of renewal. Yes, I can see it sometimes as death and decay, but rather than look at this as a negative, let’s focus instead on the positive. Summer’s sometimes oppressive heat and humidity are largely done, the colors of the trees as they turn can be breathtaking, and the world gets to reset and restart.

Life is like this for every living creature. We go through times of change, we go through sometimes drastic alterations in our lives. It is not that anyone in particular is a victim of anything at all, it is that we strive so hard for good things in our lives that often when bad things or less-than-positive things happen, they get magnified. We get so close to them, we get stuck on them even.

Human life goes through change as well. We resist change because there is a comfort in the familiar. What we have and know brings us peace and contentment. Trouble is, life will change. It’s inevitable. So rather than resist and rail against it, we should work more to accept it, and to see the good that can come of it.

fall 2015 apple picking 1

It is easy to disbelieve that we are in control of our own feelings. Things happen, and those things effect how we feel. But we have the power to choose if we are going to let feelings pass through us, or linger. The changing of the seasons of nature work the same way. They approach, they begin, they are in process, they end. New season approaches, begins, processes, ends. Yes, they overlap.

Because they overlap, we should focus less on what is coming and more on what is here. This is why living in the here and now can be so rewarding. When we stop and take stock of what we are experiencing now, rather than focusing on what is to come or what has passed, we might find a brighter, more colorful and more positive world to live in.

Fall is not necessarily an ending. It’s a new beginning. This can be an amazing tool for positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that you can focus on things being renewed instead of ending, you can alter how things like changing seasons make you feel. When we look at the beauty that autumn has to offer, we can take the feelings that creates and use them to empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the ninetieth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 198

It is of the utmost importance that we be aware of how and what we communicate to people.

Whether we are talking about indirect forms, direct talk or body language, communication can make a tremendous difference in how we feel, and as such how we are directing our lives.

We are currently living in a society positively obsessed with communication. The amazing thing about that, though, is how impersonal and thoughtless this idea has become.

I know that historically this argument has been made before. ‘Why get together when we can pick up the phone and chat?’ has become ‘why call when we can e mail and text?’ But even that is not entirely what I am talking about.

In addition to a major lack of accountability societally, we have ceased to have real, honest communications. We have talking heads, we have people spouting slogans and propaganda and telling outright lies rather than communicating. We have become reliant on text and e mail and utterly impersonal modes of communication because they are convenient, but they are cold and one dimensional.

I believe that this takes matters even further in that we have become ok with half-assed communications. We find it easy to send that text or tap out that e mail and neglect that they only convey words. Communication is not just words, it is body language and emotion, which while a good writer can convey this in mere words, still lacks overall.

People whom we see ‘in power’ are beginning to communicate in the same manner as the texts and e mails. Have you ever heard so many people convey so many pointless and meaningless platitudes with so little sincerity and such obvious disdain? I believe this is because what looked great to them on paper is garbage when they attempt real communications.

Regular people like you and me enjoy modern conveniences. You are reading this on a computer or a tablet or even a phone, and I can certainly spin my words to convey my emotions, but this is still indirect and one-dimensional. If we were holding a conversation you’d see my body language, and hear and possibly feel my emotions.

I am not discarding e mails and texts as forms of communication. They really are extremely helpful and very useful. The point I am getting at here is that we need to do better at remembering what communicating with each other can entail.

Are you having a bad day? Am I having a bad day? Are you angry? Am I upset? Are you having a good day? Am I happy? Do we communicate about how we are feeling and what we are thinking directly, or do we beat about the bush? This is the important part of communication that is most neglected.

I can send a text message that says simple, ‘hi’. Now if, after an hour, I get no response, I can do one of several things. I can presume, huh, maybe you’re busy. I can guess that you may be in a situation where you are unable to respond to my text, or you are not with your phone, or what-have-you. No harm, no foul.

However, sometimes we start to see worst case scenarios. Maybe you are doing something I would not want to know about, so you are ignoring me. Maybe you are displeased with me, thus not responding. Maybe you are hurt, or lost, or something is wrong.

Have you done this? I know that I have. We humans, though some of us try pretty hard to deny this, are emotional creatures. We also have imaginations, and sometimes they run wild. Because the impersonal one-dimensional communication didn’t elicit a response, suddenly we have an issue which you are completely unaware of because that issue is wholly in my mind.

Our society is not overly fond of asking questions. All you have to do is to look at the so-called people of faith whom you cannot question lest they will do nothing but shout you down. Questions are not welcome, because seeking truth and having discussion is unwelcome against blind faith and arrogant contradiction.

We as individuals, however, can choose to buck this trend. We can and should ask questions. I am not talking about big questions, I am talking about simple ones. How do I feel? Why do I feel like I am feeling? How do YOU feel? What can I do to help you?

We have different levels of communications, and we need to learn to better employ them when it comes to how we choose to live our lives. Texts and e mails are great, but lack emotional context. Verbal communications over the phone convey thoughts and ideas and emotions, but not body language. Skype and actual personal interaction can give us the full experience, and convey the most direct and meaningful communications.

No matter what forms our communications take, we need to presume less and ask more. Assumptions lack in anything but speculation. Ask questions and you will have answers to give you understanding. This applies not just with communications between people, but even with ourselves.

In Pathwalking, as you choose your own way in this world, you have to communicate with yourself. When you do better at communicating with yourself, your ability to communicate with others improves too. Do you make assumptions about your own feelings, your own thoughts and your own actions? Granted, sometimes that may be true, but when you realize that you likely work to correct it. So why make assumptions about the feelings, thoughts and actions of others?

It is of the utmost importance that we be aware of how and what we communicate not just to other people, but to ourselves. If we have better communications, I think we can have more productive, better and happier lives overall.

How do you communicate with yourself and others?

 

This is the one-hundred ninety eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Change the Scenery

Sometimes you need a change of scenery.

This can be a small process, or it can be rather immense, depending on the time and situation. A change of scenery, however slight, can go a long ways towards building Positivity.

IMG_4462

This can be a simple thing. Clean off your desk, rearrange your furniture, change out your décor, look at some digital images you have on your computer or phone or on the internet, reposition and move about the small things around you that you can.

This can be simple but involve more movement. Get up and take walk. Go look out a window, go stand in the sun, go stand in the rain, get up and stretch. Go grab a cup of coffee, go chat with a neighbor for a few minutes. Go pet a cat or dog. Just do something small to shift your environment.

This can involve more time and effort. Go for a hike, go to a movie, go see a concert or a play, take a drive to look at the foliage, go to the gym, go for a swim, take a walk around your neighborhood, go for a bike ride, go eat lunch at a park, find and hug a tree.

This can be much more involved. Take a trip somewhere other than where you call home. Go on an extended walkabout. Fly across an ocean. Drive across the country. Follow a pilgrimage route. Start learning something that you have never done before.

Of course, this can also be rather drastic. Move across the country. Quit your job and move to Europe. Sell everything you own and relocate and totally start over somewhere new.

Whether subtle or drastic, a change of scenery, literal or figurative, can make a huge difference towards your Positivity. The rote routine can be mind numbing, and it can frustrate and infuriate and lead you towards negativity in your world. An environmental shift, a change of scenery can really clear cobwebs and help you gain new focus and perspective.

IMG_0537

It’s amazing how a subtle change of scenery can shift your mood, and help you to find more positivity.

I know that sometimes we get stuck in a situation where this is difficult. Finding a subtle change can go a long ways towards altering how you are feeling, and finding and building Positivity. Subtle change can also help prevent unwanted and drastic changes down the line.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that you can change your scenery, whether subtly or drastically, you can shift how you are feeling. When we actively do things that will change our surroundings, we take more control over our emotions, and we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the eighty-ninth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Page 1 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén