The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: March 2015

Positivity: Positivity Matters

Positivity matters because how you are feeling will make or break your day.

Some days it’s really hard to see how this can be done. When you are working on a problem with few or undesirable solutions or when you give too much focus to the news media and see a dark and dismal world it is difficult at best to find and feel positivity.

Sometimes it just feels like it will take too much work, too much effort, and so it is easier to just sink into depression, give up the effort it takes to find and create positivity. Let all your negativity wash over you, and let that dominate your feelings.

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Does anyone want to feel bad? I don’t believe so. As I often say – nothing worth having is ever easy. You are going to have bad feelings, you are going to be blue and you are going to be frustrated and angry and negative. It is part of our nature.

How long do you let the negativity linger? This is the key. I have the power to control how I feel. I can choose to allow my negative feelings to be dominant and to take me off on a dark and unpleasant journey…or I can acknowledge them, address them as necessary, and then let them go.

Because we have nostalgia for the past and an equally powerful affinity for goal setting for the future, the here-and-now is often left to just happen. We go along with the current of the happenings around us, and we allow the positivity or negativity around us infuse us. Why take control when you don’t have to?

Why? Because like attracts like. Because if you are feeling negative you will attract more negativity and negative situations to your day. We’ve all experienced this…you get out of bed feeling disillusioned, you read another news article about government lunacy, you get caught in traffic on the way to work, you get into an argument with a coworker, you spill your coffee on yourself…and so on and so on and down it goes.

Rather than allow these things to build up and generate even more negativity, we need to take stock of them, acknowledge them…and move past them. Easier said than done, but not impossible. When you awake feeling disillusioned, question why and explore that. Don’t focus on the stupidity of the government. Use time in traffic to listen to music or take the time for yourself. Either avoid the argument with the coworker or seek common ground between yourselves and if you do argue don’t leave the matter unresolved. Laugh at the spilt coffee but don’t berate yourself for being a klutz.

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There is no perfect solution. Positivity often seems to take a lot more work than negativity…but building is more fulfilling than destroying, and positivity feels better than negativity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that positivity matters, we can choose how we focus on our day, and to find ways to empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the sixty first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 169

I am particularly adept at identifying my own faults.

I can see what I am doing wrong, I can see how I am choosing poorly, I am completely aware of my errors and mistakes. I am my own greatest critic.

While there is validity in being able to see and own up to your imperfections, it is of greater importance that you do not let them linger.

It is very easy to berate myself. It takes as little effort to blame myself as it is to blame anyone else for my woes. It is very easy to be angry with myself, to reproach myself, to let myself become depressed over the faults I allow to entrap me.

It is hard enough when outside influences interfere with your Pathwalk. It is even harder when you are in your own way, and continue to be your own greatest obstacle.

This is another aspect of self-sabotage. But more than giving in to my fears, this is about allowing my perceived shortcomings overwhelm my paths.

I have spent a great deal of my life dealing with depression. I have used many methods to cope with this, including medication, meditation, and therapies. By-and-large I have this in check, but once in a while the depression gets the better of me, and I find myself down.

When this happens every single mistake, every flaw, every imperfection in my choices and my paths becomes crystal clear. I become angry, lethargic, and resentful. Negative emotions are quickly magnified, and I become the single largest obstacle along my path.

In addition to seeing my own issues, it becomes very easy to let situations that are outside of my control further distract me, and to drive my anger and other negative emotions to far higher levels. I manage as well to make villains out of people, upon whom I can cast aspersions I might otherwise never so empower.

This happens to pretty much everyone. To a lesser or greater severity, I have never met anyone who did not have moments of this sort of doubt and disappointment in themselves. The hard part is to break free of this negativity, and to shake it off rather than to linger upon it and examine it ad nauseam.

How do you move past this, and not give the negativity all your focus? This is what I am working on now. How do I let go of this feeling, rather than give it my focus and attention? How do I move past and beyond this?

Here are the steps I am going to take in this process. Bear with me if this seems rough, this is an unrefined notion, and this is on-the-spot analysis to find answers.

First – I need to deal with the part I have least control over. I need to take my focus off of the things that are outside of my control. I need to stop giving energy to my perceived villains, and I need to instead take back my power, and disempower them and take back the power I am giving them to distract me from my paths. This part should be easiest to achieve.

Second – I need to acknowledge my faults, but not focus on them. While nobody is perfect, truly that is what makes everybody perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect, and that is what makes us each unique individuals. If we all shared in the same perfection, why would we have any need to interact with any but ourselves? How could we develop and grow not only as individuals, but as a race of intelligent beings?

Imperfections and faults are a part of who I am. I need to do what I can to fix those I can, to embrace and manage those I cannot, and to not let my faults take away my empowerment. I am not my past, I am not my mistakes and imperfections…unless I choose to be.

Third – mindfulness. It is so easy to neglect the things I put upon my own path as I share it to help you as well as myself. I do not meditate daily as I desire to do, I do not always remember to write out and feel gratitude for at least three to five things daily, I do not ask myself the necessary questions that will keep me focused on my path choices.

The important thing about this is not to let this anger and upset me…it is for me to take a deep breath, not regret my choices or poor choices or lack of choices, and move on. If I linger here, if I hold my focus to these errors and mistakes I continue to empower them. I need to not just work on acknowledgment and being less negligent…I need to wholly change my internal dialogue.

So long as I view myself as a failure, overweight, idiotic, negligent buffoon – this is the reality I will perpetuate. I need to change my inner dialogue, and instead talk to myself about the successful, healthy, wise, empowered wit – this will help draw in a new self-image. Because when all is said and done we are all our own greatest critics, and it is the image we hold of the self that we project not only outwards, but inwards.

The ideas are here – so how do I enact them? Every day is a new day…so I need to remember, daily, to empower myself, use the tools I have available to me, and to think more highly of myself and know I am worthy.

New day. Do I face it expecting new problems, or new challenges? What do I see before me? What do you see before you?

 

This is the one-hundred sixty-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Today

Today is not yesterday.

Today is a new beginning. Today is unique, and there will be no other day like today.

You have an opportunity to do something new, something different. You have a new day with which to explore the world, to make time for yourself, for friends and family, to create something different.

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Yesterday is the past. It happened, it is done. It may have been a fantastic day, it may have been an awful day, but it is done. You have reached today, and you can approach this new day with positivity or negativity. Either way, you get to choose.

This is why I started exploring the idea of Positivity one Monday morning. All over social media I was reading the groans and complaints and doubts and other negative thoughts towards the start of the work week. I decided that I wanted to share a different approach, and to see today for all its possibility. Yes, the weekend is over, but why does that necessarily mean we are on a sad and unwanted path today? We have a choice…so I choose to find Positivity.

It is easy to get caught in remembering and even yearning for the past. But the past is passed. It can and likely will hold a place in your memory, good or bad. But yesterday and the day before that and the week before that and the month before that and so on are behind us.

There is so much potential in living for today. I don’t mean doing something wild and out-of-character, I mean seeing the possibility that the new day represents instead of its challenges. I’m writing about looking for good instead of bad, possible instead of impossible, unity instead of division, positivity instead of negativity. Each and every day we get to make choices, and if we focus more on today and less on yesterday or tomorrow we can find more Positivity, and feel better overall.

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This is why it is equally important to acknowledge that today is not tomorrow, either. All too often we get caught up on looking ahead and doing things like “working for the weekend” or “slogging through the work week” or similar, and today passes by unmarked. Every single day has potential – not just potential to be “magical” per se, but potential to be good and positive. Today can be more than just a work day, more than just a day in the routine, it has endless possibility.

This needn’t be grand and glorious. This can be a simple matter of approach. Take on today with hope, not disdain. Try to smile instead of frowning. Look for the positive around you instead of the negative. Use attitude shifters or find something to make you smile. Let go of yesterday, leave tomorrow for tomorrow and find the potential in this day, today.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that we can leave yesterday behind we can use this new day, today, to find ways to empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the sixtieth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 168

You are not unsupported.

Even when you are walking your own path, you are never completely alone. You have supporters, you have resources available to you.

I have spent a great deal of time with people not understanding my choices. There have been many along the way who did not nor could not understand what I was about. And I will be the first to admit that it may have behooved me in the past to have paid greater heed to some of those inquiries. I may have come to recognize sooner that I was choosing more often than not to not choose at all.

Since I began to formulate and work with the notion of Pathwalking, I have come to understand who I am and better who I want to be. I have learned that when I make choices for myself I get better and more satisfying results. I am learning that my path is for me, but I do not have to take it alone.

I can’t make choices for anyone else, I cannot control anyone else’s life. I don’t want anyone else to make my choices for me, either.

What I do want, however, is support. I want to have resources I can turn to in order to help me better understand, choose, and walk my path.

It is important to distinguish between the need for support, and the need for recognition or even validation. Support is having a sounding board or a confidant or some other resource I can use to help me along my way, whereas recognition and validation are more about end results.

Support can come in a number of forms. I have many options to choose from.

I can find my support amongst the people in my life. My friends, my family, my coworkers, my acquaintances, even from time to time random strangers. There may be someone who will hear me out when I want to bounce ideas off of them, or there may be someone who will brainstorm with me to find solutions to problems.

It is imperative when turning to people for support to be aware of influence. Support is working with others to achieve your goals, and outside influences can sometimes misdirect you. Sometimes your support will actually redirect you when you are on the wrong path. When you turn to someone for support they might show you a need to do things differently than you are currently doing them.

Another form of support might come from more abstract resources. A book you read, an interview you listen to, a podcast, a blog. I may be a source of support on your path as I share mine.

I have often warned about outside influences, and it may seem rather frequently that I am suggesting allowing people outside of yourself to be a part of your path is a bad thing. Yet here I am telling you that you have support and can turn to people for support. Another paradox?

Yes, and no. We are social animals. Human beings need other human beings. We need and want companions, we desire communication. Yes this is a vast generalization, your own experience may be otherwise. But for the most part it is essential we have other people in our lives.

This is where it is good to know you have support. You need support. You need to have resources available to you in order to better find, understand, and walk your given paths in this life. You don’t have to go it alone, but it is important that you be the one making your choices.

This is where the difference between a supporter and an outside influencer come into play. If I am allowing another to make my choices for me, then I need to reconsider where my path might be going. If, however, I am conferring with a resource to make better choices for myself it is much more likely that I will be the maker of my own destiny.

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference between a supporter and an outside influencer. The key to knowing what you have, whether a person or an object you have turned to, is asking the right questions. Is this what I want? Is this who I am? Is this where I want to be or go? Is this what I want to do with my life?

There are other questions I can ask, but the point is that I have support I can turn to, and so do you. We are not alone as we walk our paths, and we can and will find our way to taking and having control over our lives, and to discovering and making our own destinies.

I have some amazing people who support my paths. I have found and read and listened to numerous resources that have helped me to learn and grow. I am learning new things every day, and I believe that the path I am walking will let me find and create the person I most wish to be in this world.

Thank you for YOUR support.

Who and/or what supports you along your path?

 

This is the one-hundred sixty-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Appreciation

Appreciation is an important aspect of gratitude.

Yes, appreciation can be another word for gratitude, but it can also be a separate aspect of gratitude. While one can be grateful for things, having appreciation for them and being appreciated are amazing builders of positivity.

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What’s the difference? Appreciation is more specific than just gratitude. You can give and receive both, but there is a more focused understanding of appreciation. Feeling grateful is about expressing happiness with a person, a thing, an intangible, while feeling appreciation is about expressing a real recognition of a greater depth of happiness and satisfaction for the person, thing or intangible. Appreciation is not just gratitude, it is extra-valued gratitude.

Giving appreciation for something is very powerful for building positivity. When you express your appreciation, you open up greater channels of energy that can really elevate a given situation. The act of appreciating is always a positive act.

Appreciation can be for something small, like that person holding the door for you when your hands are full; it can be for something large, like the sun rising every morning. More than simple gratitude, appreciation is a focused sense of thankfulness, it is powerful positivity.

It is somewhat easier to understand the difference in the receipt of appreciation. Gratitude is the simple thank you received. Appreciation is the comment about how helpful, how useful, how valued what you are being thanked for is. Appreciation is not just thankfulness, it is an expression of worth and value towards whatever is being appreciated.

A very recent accolade in my life has made me feel an intense sense of appreciation. I have been told that my work is valued, and as such appreciated. It goes way beyond a thank you, it has been expressed to me that my worth is grand.

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In return, I am feeling an amazing sense of appreciation. I am more than grateful for this, I feel a sense of incredible empowerment, and an outpouring of positive energy. The positivity this has created is almost impossible to express, but it is as though gratitude has been magnified exponentially.

I am more than grateful for you. I thoroughly appreciate each and every one of your who reads these weekly posts, and who strives to find and experience more positivity in this world. I appreciate you and your desire to experience more positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that we can use the power appreciation to take gratitude to the next level, we can empower ourselves to express appreciation for more things in our lives. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be appreciative of. Appreciation leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the fifty-ninth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 167

Your mileage may vary. The twists and turns and obstacles and successes and failures we endure as we walk our paths may be similar, but will not be the same.

No one but me is inside my own head. I’m all alone in here, and I am in control of this body, I am in control of the choices available to me. When all is said and done I am empowered to do good or bad, be happy or discontent, to discover and walk a given path.

I often write here about issues with outside influences. There are people along the way who more often than not unintentionally provide obstructions along your path. They have their own opinions, they have their own ways and paths different from yours and mine.

The thing about outside influences is that sometimes they are good for you. While the ability to gain knowledge inside my own head is infinite, there is only a limited amount of information I have. There is always room to learn something new, to discover something more. To do so is not necessarily a singular matter, often it requires gleaning information from outside influences.

As with everything Pathwalking, this is about choice. When I encounter an outside influence do I choose to let it effect me, or am I better off ignoring it? Is this influencer for better or worse? Does the outside influence serve my paths?

Let me present you with a very personal example of this. I am getting married in a couple of months. There are certain parties who have rather strong opinions about just how my bride-to-be and I are planning out our ceremony and our many non-traditional elements. Certain outside influences feel that our choices of attendants and even choice of theme are not well thought-out, and could cause hurt in others.

We want a small ceremony, and while we are taking certain elements of our upbringings into this, we are invoking no religion. We are having a family-style dinner following the ceremony, no reception, no dancing, and that’s it. This is what we both want, and this is what we have chosen.

If the outside influences had their way, we’d have at least another twenty-five to thirty people to invite, we’d have probably another couple attendants, and we’d be paying more direct homage to the religious elements that have more dominance in our families. Rather than choosing our desired path, we’d be letting the outside influences choose it for us.

In this instance, there is one other influence that is outside of myself but that has been empowered to effect choices in this particular manner. That of course is my fiancé, since this is about us both as individuals and as a couple. This does, however, provide the perfect segue way into probably the most important element of how this relates to Pathwalking:

You may be alone inside your head, but that is not a bad thing. It is good to have companions, friends, lovers, family, acquaintances, coworkers – but no one but you can choose your own path, and validate your own existence.

I know a lot of people who do not do well ‘alone’. They constantly need to have companionship, they talk about feeling ‘incomplete’ or ‘lacking’ if they are not in a relationship or constantly surrounded by others. I used to feel that way myself, and in fact have recently discovered (as previously discussed the last few weeks) that my fear of loss has massively influenced my ability to succeed or fail.

Let’s face facts – human beings are social animals. We need interactions with others, we need contact, we need validation – specifically validation that we are recognized as existing, such as “Oh look, there you are”. What we need to know, what I need to remember, is that we have to each individually validate ourselves, evaluate ourselves, and make and accept our own choices for the lives we want to live.

I may be alone inside my head, but that means that I can have conversations with myself in order to ask the necessary questions about who I am and who I want to be in order to choose and walk my own path. As I stated last week, I need to ask myself daily – what is it I need to do today so that ultimately I will feel happy? I need to additionally remember that today’s answer may differ from tomorrow’s. Still the question needs to be asked, because the answer will let me change my focus so that any intangible fears can be eliminated and replaced instead by opportunities. I should also add here that I can determine what outside influences, if any, I can and should seek to help me achieve my goals.

Because my mileage varies from yours, even if our ultimate goals are similar, the paths cannot and will not be. But you can take my examples and my ideas for the mechanics of Pathwalking and use them in your own path. Or not. I am an outside influence except within my own head. I am working on my own Path, but I share that work with you because I think the how of my process can be useful to not just me alone. Sharing these notions are part of the path I am walking.

What influences do you take, and which do you ignore?

 

This is the one-hundred sixty-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Expectation

Expectation is a powerful means for positivity.

If consciousness creates reality, than it goes to follow that expectation will create positivity or negativity, depending on what outcome you think will occur.

A lot of people find the idea of “the power of positive thinking” to be hokey. Pie-in-the-sky absurdity. And if all you do is think positive, but you don’t feel it or act upon it, you cannot generate positivity.

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That being said, what you expect will often determine whether you get a positive or a negative outcome. Expectation is a form of consciousness that can and will create reality.

When you set out expecting bad things, such as a hellish Monday, in general you will find exactly what it is you were expecting. If, on the other hand, you set out expecting things to be good, expecting Monday instead to be full of promise and possibility – there is a far better chance you will find what you are expecting.

You cannot think about this alone, you have to feel it, and you have to act on it. Thought alone lacks the power to manifest. You have to feel it and you have to act as if it is. Certainly this can be complicated and it can be fraught with difficulty – but it can also allow you to find more positivity along the way.

The most important aspect of this is where you place your expectations. If you place your expectations on external forces, you have a greater chance of disappointment. Why? Because you have little to no control over outside influences. You cannot live anyone’s life but your own. You cannot make people do your bidding, you cannot expect anyone else to make your happiness. That simply is the way things are.

If you expect yourself to fail, if you expect problems, if you expect to be putting out fires all the time, in all probability that is exactly what you’ll get. If, instead, you expect yourself to succeed, you expect solutions, and you expect a day of productivity, you are on the right path to get that.

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Expectation is a feeling. So if you are expecting good things, you can think good things more easily. Then you have two of the three necessary aspects to build positivity, now you only need to act upon this.

Expectation is a powerful force. We often don’t realize that it can be used by each and every one of us to find more good things in the world, more positivity and thus more happiness. We have to learn to expect more from ourselves instead of less, and to find successes in the smaller steps along the paths of life.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that we can use the power of expectation to build positivity and find more happiness, we can empower ourselves to expect more good than bad. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the fifty-eighth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 166

What is it I want from my life? Where do I want to take this path to? Who do I really want to be?

Now that I have identified the real fear that causes me to sabotage myself, that being the fear of loss, what chances do I want to take that would lead to succeeding or failing? What is it I want to gain from my success or failure?

This is a very hard question for me to answer. Because I have lived so much of my life making moves on the perceived whims of other influences, and because I have allowed myself for so long to stand at crossroads or take minimal actions so as to avoid loss, the specific what of the path I wish to choose lacks simplicity. I know from my experience that I want to choose my own path, however.

Pathwalking is my philosophy for how I want to live my life. I choose my own path, I choose my own destiny. Pathwalking, as stated time and again, is about choice and control and not letting the outside influences dictate my life for me.

I have not just crafted my philosophy out of thin air. I have personal life experience of course, but I have also listened to and read a number of things that have influenced the formulation of this idea. My source materials include The Secret, Tony Robbins, The Four Agreements, Paulo Coelho, The Dali Lama, Neil deGrasse Tyson and many other philosophers, scientists and great thinkers. I have taken lessons learned from these sources and more, as well as my own experiences with and belief that Consciousness ultimately Creates Reality to create Pathwalking.

This is the abstract concept, the framework in which I want to live my life. The path, the journey itself is of equal or greater importance than the goal, because the majority of life happens in the journey. For that reason, the journey cannot be aimless and meandering, which is why we have goals.

I use a lot of metaphors in explaining the what of Pathwalking, but I seldom get into the specifics of the journey and the goals. What is it that actually makes up the path, and how is choosing to be a Pathwalker different from not making such a choice?

Back to my original questions. What is it I want from my life? Personally, I want to be happy. In order to be happy, I know that I want to feel free, I want to love and be loved, and I want to feel successful. These are the big, overarching intangibles I want to have in my life. While the most abstract concept is happiness, I have also identified that to feel happy I need to also feel free, to feel love and loved, and to feel successful.

Where do I want to take this path to, and in setting a goal who do I really want to be? That is the crux, because this is where there are specific and tangible concepts that will lead to the intangibles. What is it I need to do daily in order to feel free, to feel love and loved and to feel successful so that ultimately I will feel happy? This last question is one I should not just ask today, I should ask it EVERY SINGLE DAY because the answer will change. Despite patterns that are repetitive, no two days are precisely alike. Ever. The pattern feels repetitive and lacking in freshness and choice when I do not ask these questions.

What is it I need to do daily in order to feel free, to feel love and loved and to feel successful so that ultimately I will feel happy? My daily needs are not the same as yours, of course, but I want to still share what I need to do. And I say need to do because I have not been making this a daily practice…and it is time I begin to do so. This practice I believe is a key to unlocking and removing the fear of loss that the fear of failure and success has so long been masking.

To feel free I need to meditate daily, I need to give time to writing or editing one of my works of fiction, and I need to remind myself that I am in control of this path. I need to not focus on money, on issues at work, and on concerns with future plans but instead focus on abundance, the people I work with and today instead of the future. I believe if I pay attention to this rather than just let it be, I can remove the intangible and sometimes paralyzing fear of loss.

To love and feel loved I need to tell the people I love that I love them. I need to pet my cats and listen to them purr and I need to consciously avoid gossip and negativity about people and things. This one is the simplest for me to work with.

To feel successful is frankly tied directly to what I need to do in order to feel free. I need to edit and write, I need to not focus on becoming a bestselling author but instead focus on the fact that I successfully post to this blog twice a week, that I have published my first fantasy novel, that I am completing editing on the second novel, that I have completed the third novel in that series, the first novel in another series and still have novels underway in both. I need to view what I perceive oftentimes as minor success for the more significance they hold. I also need to know that because I love and am loved that this also makes me successful.

What it all boils down to is this – I need to ask myself daily – what is it I need to do today so that ultimately I will feel happy? Today’s answer may differ from tomorrow’s, but the question needs to be asked, because the answer will let me change my focus so that the intangible fears can be eliminated and replaced instead by opportunities.

What questions do you need to ask yourself daily to achieve your goals?

 

This is the one-hundred sixty-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Lowering the Bar (Without lessening expectation)

Lower the bar without lowering the bar.

We often read about or hear about how “the bar has been lowered” and “expectations are less” in regards to merit, to achievement and other things. We make jokes about how easy it is to “hurtle the lowered bar” to accomplish goals and receive accolades.

While often times this does in fact mean we get less – just look at the American political landscape – this can be advantageous to our everyday lives. We can lower the bar of our expectations without lessening the quality of those expectations.

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What does that mean, I should expect less? No, what it means is that you should be more mindful of what you expect from yourself, and where you set the bar for the truly important things in your life. These are the grand, overarching desires and needs we have in order to feel accomplished in our lives. You have to ask yourself – what is the line where you will be happy, be successful, be loved and loving?

For many, those bars are set so impossibly high that they will never be achieved. More realistically, you have to cross bridges rather than attempt to find means for grandiose leaps across chasms.

Take success for example. What does it take for you to consider yourself to be successful? Is it a simple thing like getting to work on time and doing 100% on the job every day so that you will get noticed and advance? Or is it you need to be made a managing partner of the company you work for and earn six figures and drive a BMW? If the former, this means you will attain success with relative ease, whereas with the latter you might be constantly reaching and as such feeling unsuccessful. The former can take you down the path to the latter with daily successes, and this is what I mean by lowering the bar without lowering the bar.

Don’t expect less of yourself, don’t demand less of yourself, that’s not what I mean by this idea. But praise yourself and congratulate yourself for the steps along the way, rather than waiting out a celebration when you reach the more grand and glorious achievement. Don’t make the end-all-be-all the leap across the chasm, make it the steps along the way.

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We deserve to be happy, to be joyful, to be successful. We also want these things instantaneously, and that is where we set the bar too high. If we still have that high bar, but we take our happiness joy and success at lower increments along the way to that bar, we can all find more Positivity in our lives. We don’t need to dumb the world down, we just need to enjoy the journey and not just anticipation of the goal at its end.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that we can take pleasure in the journey and not just the goal at its end, we can lower the bars for things like success and happiness to better empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the fifty-seventh entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

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