The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: July 2014

Pathwalking 135

I am not one who takes any sort of pleasure in the suffering of others.

On the contrary – as an empath, I feel for those who have issues and suffering. I want, in fact, to do whatever I can to help people.

This is often a complicated idea. In especial when I am dealing with people I don’t, in fact, know. Yet it is still a part of my nature to do whatever I can to help people see the world for its positive potential and all the wonders it can and does hold.

There is, however, a fine line to be had between empathy for others and finding ways to be of help to them, and sacrificing for the good of others.

Sacrifice is not healthy because it gives power to the idea that we live in a world of limits and lack. How can we live in a limitless world of abundance and still have to make sacrifices?

Along this same line is competition. I have said before that competition between two teams or two athletes is one thing, whereas competition between people for wealth and prosperity and happiness is no good to anyone. These are notions of lack, and limitations, and a world lacking in possibilities and opportunities. The truth, however, is that this is an abundant, unlimited world full of possibilities and wonders.

From time to time our point of view differs from those around us. What I might consider a reasonable argument another might consider frivolous and not well thought out. Where I might be considering my actions to be self-protection, another may view them as selfish.

Am I wrong? Am I right? Are they right? Are they wrong? How do I judge this?

The problem is – I can’t. Judgment is a dangerous position, as it places someone in an authoritative place that might not be beneficial. In fact, for the most part, judgment is best reserved for the tastiest pie in a contest of the best animal at a county fair.

I have to listen to my heart, but at the same time I have to reason with my head. I know what I know, I believe what I believe, and while often that synchs up, from time to time they are in opposition.

I have commented many times that the heart and the head don’t always agree. You may feel a certain way about something, but your mind may not agree, and you might find yourself thinking differently.

I am faced with a situation where I believe I am standing up for myself. There is some collateral damage occurring, and I am sympathetic to that issue. However, if I back down and don’t continue along the path I am on, I will limit my current and future options.

There are a lot of very personal factors in my situation, but the specifics are of less import than the overall matter. I believe I am choosing correctly. Though I feel the pain I am causing, I cannot take that pain unto myself and do what is being asked of me without sacrificing. I don’t just feel that I am making the right choice, but I think it too.

It is unfortunate when this sort of thing happens, but as far as I can tell it happens to everyone.   We all face a time when people we put a great store of love and faith in let us down. We wind up having to choose if we go forward for our own good, or sacrifice for the good of others. This is seldom an easy choice.

It is, I acknowledge, possible I am being selfish in this. I might be letting my dissatisfaction and anger and pride rule my decisions. I can certainly see the other viewpoints and perspectives around me. But this is my life, and I have to choose the paths I will walk within it.

The line between selfless and selfish is sometimes nothing more than perspective. How I view my actions may not be how some around me see them. What I see as a simple commentary on a subject another may see as criticism. What is important in this is that, when walking your path you be true to yourself. No one else can live my life for me, as no one can live your life for you. That is what makes Pathwalking so rewarding.

My path may not always be understood by those around me, but what is important is that it is mine, and it takes me where I want to go. How my path effects those around me is something I am mindful of, but it is important to know that I can only have control over my own life and situation.

How much do you let the paths of others influence yours?


This is the one-hundred thirty fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Why?

Why is positivity so important?

Simple answer – because like attracts like. We live in a world of negative messages. We are bombarded by bad news, horror stories, and tales of woe. We can hardly turn without someone commenting about how bad this is or how awful that is.

When we focus on negativity, we gather more of it to us. We attract negativity, and we find ourselves inundated with it. Read the news online, watch any news program, and you will find negative things happening around the world.


Then there are the daily negative messages we reinforce. We get stuck in traffic, we have to deal with difficult customers, we have to get up with our alarms to face the day. We have become adept at finding the things to complain about in our world, and even if we don’t complain we are sure to know someone who does.

This is why we need positivity. Because like attracts like, we need things to focus on that are positive so as to draw more of that to us. Mondays need not be terrible days, unless we allow them to be. We can find positivity in virtually anything we look closely at. We can make positivity out of nothing, just as we make negativity out of nothing.

This is about choice. Do I choose to feel positive, or negative? Do I choose to put my focus on negative things, or positive things? Do I seek out positivity, or negativity? Do I think, speak, and act positively or negatively?

I began this series in reaction to reading other people’s posts about disappointments with Mondays. We do not need to enter into the start of the work week feeling down, feeling negative – we can choose to find positivity.

I have a choice. You have a choice. We can face situations we encounter with negativity, or positivity. I know that some days it is harder than others to find things to be positive about, but that does not mean we shouldn’t do it. Positive begets positive.


We should we focus on positivity? Because positive FEELS better than negative. And that, when all is said and done, is what is really important. Which do you prefer, feeling good and positive or bad and negative? The difference is positivity versus negativity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing why positivity is important can start us down the path to seeking out, finding and/or creating positivity around us. When we take a moment to consider if we are drawing positivity or negativity, we can feel it, then act upon it, then choose what we most desire. Why positivity? Because positive feels better than negative, and I don’t know anyone who does not seek feeling better about life. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.


This is the twenty sixth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 134

Do you sometimes wonder if I actually practice what I “preach”?

I will not deny to you that there are days where I get caught up in everything I write about here. I get stuck in my routine, I allow myself unnecessary and sometimes even harmful distractions. I stand upon a path and spin about, unsure about moving forward or going backwards. Sometimes I wonder if this really is doable, or if I am just a liar?

Last week I put this to the test. I determined that I needed to put up or shut up, so to speak, and I had to take care of some situations that were less than ideal. I took Pathwalking to another step, and I used one of the key elements I have thrown out time and again – Consciousness Creates Reality.

Often, in truth, it is SUB-conscious that creates our reality. We believe the things about ourselves and our lives that are actually in our past, and continue to believe them in our present. We get stuck in being out-of-shape, low on energy, short on time, and so on and so forth. We believe that we have to go with the status-quo because that is just the way things are at this moment.

The reality we have created is, as such, often unsatisfactory. So we make a choice to work on building better. Do you know what usually trips me up? My own sub-conscious thoughts and feelings.

I needed a new car. My car was still good, but in need of a lot of work, and the money that work was going to cost felt wasteful to me. It was pointed out to me, too, that over the past two years the car has become more and more unreliable, and there were concerns that it would fail at a less-than-optimum moment, and leave me stranded.

Without going into unnecessary personal details, replacing my car was fraught with a lot of challenges. I could not fathom HOW it could be done. I had spent several weeks looking into new-to-me used cars, and after a couple attempts to move on this could not fathom a means to make it happen. The how eluded me, and I was running out of time.

I made a decision that the answer would come. I stated that on Thursday I would receive a means to repair or replace the car. I believed it. I felt it. I KNEW that I would find the way. I did not know HOW – and more importantly, I did not try to figure out the HOW. How always manages to trip the process up, because when you cannot figure out how, spending your energy on it defeats whatever it is you are working on manifesting. You have to just accept the idea of consciousness creating reality, and thinking, feeling, and acting on it being.

Thursday I was contacted by one of those car dealers I had previously reached out to. He told me someone in their finance department would contact me. An appointment was made Friday – and though I went to it with ZERO idea of HOW any action might occur, I still believed that it would. I thought it, I felt it, I believed in it happening. I left that dealership with a new-to-me car, and incredulity that it did, in fact, all work itself out.

I could not have worked out the how of this. Period. Even after having seen it in action, knowing what went on to bring it about, I still do not fully comprehend just HOW I did this. But I did.

Yes, I will not deny to you that circumstances may have just been right, or I was lucky or a series of coincidences happened here that brought this about. But I am a Pathwalker. I am choosing to create my own reality. I believe that I succeeded in manifesting what I needed. Consciously, for the first time in over a decade, I really, truly was the creator of my own reality.

Over the weekend, I did it again. I needed something. I repeated the process of THINKING about what it was I needed, and I KNEW I could get it. I believed it would happen, and I stated it as so. I did not know how, I had no idea at all HOW, but I knew it could be done. And it was. It was not in a manner I could have figured out if I had focused on the how, yet there it was, my need fulfilled. I was once more taken aback and delighted that I have created my reality.

Fifteen years ago I did this after my accident. I accepted nothing less than the thought of total recovery from my injuries. I FELT that all would be restored, and I acted upon it and said I would have nothing less than a full recovery as quickly as possible. And I did.

Then I fell back into routine, and even with the knowledge that consciousness creates reality, I have not often done so. I started Pathwalking, and there have been fits and starts…but I have seen firsthand that I CAN make the paths of my own choosing. I can consciously create my reality.

I have momentum to work from. I have manifested both the tangible and intangible before, and I can continue to do so. I am practicing the philosophy of Pathwalking with my life, but after the last week’s success, I have a new perspective. I know that I need to create with more focus on the what and less on the how. I do not need to know HOW this will work, I just need to know that it will.

If you are a curious sort like me, it can be maddening to not analyze and study the how. I want to know why and how this works, and half of that answer is not always sufficient. But when I let go of the how, and only focus on the what, I can manifest what I need. If I can do this with greater frequency, then I truly am walking on the path I am choosing. I am putting all of this into practice.

More than two-and-a-half years of writing this every week, I can say that I AM practicing what I am “preaching”. I am walking my own Path. Now I have a far better understanding of where my shortcomings in this concept have been…and I have a far better idea just how to fix them.

Have you consciously been creating YOUR reality?


This is the one-hundred thirty fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Manifestation

It is possible to manifest anything you need in life.

Many people believe, because society believes, that manifesting the life you most desire is fantasy. Hookey-spookey BS. Delusional. The pipe dream of the hippy-crunchy-granola new agey types. It is, however, possible.

Manifestation is not a simple process. It requires energy, it requires action. To manifest anything you want, you need to believe that it is possible. You cannot doubt that it will be, you have to make it real. You cannot simply THINK it – you have to FEEL it. It is unbelievably important that you feel this, right to your core. You have to have thought, but to take it further you have to have feeling.


You have to have action. You have to act upon what you want to manifest. Often the action is as simple as saying you have whatever you are trying to manifest. The problem that arises is that we want to know HOW. We want to know how this thing will come to be. But as soon as you get caught up in the how, you break the energy you want to create, and you lose the ability to manifest because you get so caught up in the HOW that you cannot feel the positive energy in the creation of the manifestation.

I will not deny that this is impractical. It really is. I will not deny that this requires a certain amount of faith, and a belief not in any sort of almighty power or some other-worldly thing. It is about faith in your own power, your own connection to the universe and your ability to use that connection to build dreams.

You have to believe in the abundance of the universe – which even on a good day can be REALLY hard. If you even catch a glimpse of world news, it is disturbing at best, often escalating to upsetting and outrageous. But even with all of that happening out there, you have the ability within yourself to manifest an amazing life.


I have done it. More than once I have managed to manifest what I needed. It was not easy, because the HOW trips me up…but I have done it. Even having succeeded in manifesting things, both material and rather immaterial, because my mind wraps around the concept of HOW I cannot repeat the process easily.   Yet I can tell you, without a shred of doubt, that it can be done.

You can use manifestation to build positivity. No matter what the world tells you, positivity can be made manifest. It is simply a matter of thought, and feeling, and action. Think it, FEEL the belief in it, and ACT upon its creation, as though it is manifest before you have it.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that it is possible to manifest whatever it is you need in your life, you can ultimately be empowered. When you take the thought and feel it, then act upon it, you can manifest virtually anything. The endless possibilities will allow you to choose what you want to manifest and you can start from nothing to build a life filled with positivity. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.


This is the twenty fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 133

Giving is important to having balance in life.

Some people don’t even consider what they do to be giving.

Some people go through this life and make accommodations for others, they take time to help people in a myriad of ways, and they just do things for other people without a second thought. They are people who give time, energy and more so that others may benefit.

Giving is a powerful tool. We have an amazing capacity to give on an incredible number of levels. We can give both material and immaterial things that will change the lives of the people around us.

Often this is small. You give someone a smile, a nod, a wave, and unknowingly brighten their day. Sometimes it is larger, like giving a hug or a cup of coffee or holding open a door. Once in a while this is tremendous, giving hours of your time for another’s benefit, giving blood, raising funds to help someone in need.

No matter the size or amount of effort involved, giving is a powerful action. We can give a piece of ourselves to help improve the lives of others in many ways, shapes and forms, and we can do so frequently.

Those who choose to walk their own path, despite many elements of the process being solitary, often give of their energy as they walk their path. I, for example, share this blog as I work out my own journey.

There are, of course, some vital matters to make note of on this subject.

It is hugely important that before you give, you are not running on empty. It is impossible to give when you are empty, and not feeling good about yourself, without it being hollow. You are better off making certain that you are full, complete, and giving from a place of abundance in order to give in the most full and meaningful way.

This raises another important issue. Giving versus sacrificing. Giving feels good. It is a means to express yourself, to share your own fortune and to help others have a better life experience. Sacrificing not only does not feel good, it is telling the Universe that you believe there is not enough, that there is a lack of whatever it is you are going without, and that is ok. Sacrificing yourself in order to be generous and giving will not make you feel more positive or happier in life, it will actually make you feel negative, more sad and lost.

Society is always telling us we have to sacrifice in order to have what we want. In a universe of abundance and plenty that is simply untrue. Yes, this seems very hard to believe, in especial when you are faced with difficult odds. This does not make it any less true. Giving and sacrificing are diametrically opposed concepts.

It is also very important to know the difference between those who receive, and those who take. When what you give is received with gratitude positivity and goodwill are created. When what you give is taken, and no gratitude has been expressed you may become depleted and find not only that you are not feeling joy in sharing, but you may even begin to not feel good about the practice of giving. When you are giving to someone who is a taker, often the giving turns into sacrificing because no amount of giving on your part is ever sufficient.

These are fine lines and blurred lines and complicated notions to compartmentalize in this manner. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between giving and sacrificing, receivers and takers. Sometimes we get so caught up in the practice that while it may start in one manner it evolves or devolves into another. Like pretty much everything I bring up in Pathwalking, you need to consider all sides of a situation, and do the most thorough analysis that you can.

I believe that if more people pay attention to giving versus sacrificing, and work with the power of gratitude that giving can create, we could go a long ways towards building a better world. Despite what society wants us to believe, and despite all the bad news we are constantly inundated with, I still think that people are inherently capable of good and positive things.

Giving can happen on every level anybody could need. You can give of the mind, of the body and of the spirit, sometimes in equal parts. Giving as you walk your own path in life can create new pathways and open new doors and provide all kinds of interesting waypoints on any journey.

Finally, giving is not always an external act. I can give myself a break, I can give myself praise, I can give myself joy, I can give myself opportunities. When I give to myself, and this is an important distinction as opposed to taking for myself, I can open the same channels of positivity that giving to others does. Further, when you give to yourself, you build the abundance you need to have in order to better give to others.

Giving can have a rather profound effect on your actions. Giving can be a powerful mean to find and travel the paths you walk in life.

Do you give to yourself what you give to others?


This is the one-hundred thirty third entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Conversation

It is amazing what you can get from a conversation.

It is all well and good to send e mails and letters and text messages to communicate. However, they are no substitute for the interaction and give and take of an actual conversation.

You can get to know people on a level that really does not exist in any other format. The delay between messages is non-existent, and the interaction is not just words, but tone, facial expressions, body language, and emotional content.


People seldom recognize how powerfully positive a conversation can be. Someone you may be having a difficult time communicating with in other formats might give a whole other impression when engaged in conversation. You can experience a richer, fuller connection with another person on many levels.

Conversation can take many forms. Discussions, debates, explanations, arguments, agreements, disagreements, general back-and-forth dialogues and more. When you have conversations you have a two-or-more way engagement, and this can be a gateway to developing, fostering, and building positivity.

A conversation between people can open channels of thought and positive energy. It can allow for an exchange of information and building all sorts of amazing creations, whether physical, spiritual or emotional. Conversation can have an effect on us through untold levels.

Certainly conversation can generate negativity. It is a finely honed double-edged sword. But the volume of positivity it can bring forward I believe outweighs the negative. Conversation is too often neglected and ignored for fear of the negative, rather than used as the amazing tool of positivity it can be.


E mail, text messaging and even letter writing, while vehicles for communication, lack the additional elements that a conversation holds. The combination of emotional, spiritual and physical presence has more power, more energy to offer than any other medium. Through conversation it is amazing how vast and diverse the options to create positivity can be.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that you can open impressive channels between people with the art of conversation, you can redirect your energies to build a more positive world. When we use our conversations to create, to grow and to expand our horizons there is no limit to how much excellence is available to us. The endless possibilities will allow you to talk about where you want to focus, and you can start from little to nothing and build tremendous positivity. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.


This is the twenty fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 132

I have often written about how important emotion is to Pathwalking.

You cannot simply choose to think through what you want to manifest in your life, you have to feel it. If you cannot put the feeling behind the thought, and then add corresponding action, you will more-or-less turn about in a circle.

It is an absolute necessity that you not only think and take action to choose your path, but you also feel your way along it. If you do not put the feeling energy behind your thought and action, your path will be particularly difficult.

I know that I am making the same point multiple times, but there is a very personal reason why that is the case. I am currently dealing with a single, overwhelming emotion: anger. Multiple situations in my personal life have come up recently that are leading to my emotional state being dominated by anger.

I have stated previously that you cannot only have positive, good emotions. Negative, bad emotions are necessary because there has to be a balance. Life is too complex and too multifaceted to not have both extremes, and the majority of our time is spent somewhere between them.

I have also reiterated more than once that we are in control of our emotions. That does not mean that we are machines capable of making a change to our emotional state at the flip of a switch. What it does mean is that we can choose whether to hold onto an emotion, or to let it go.

Some emotions are more powerful than others. Or rather, they FEEL more powerful. Anger is a very powerful emotion. Authors frequently use anger in fantasy to channel energy, sometimes for good but more often than not for bad (I’m thinking Harry Dresden versus Darth Vader, here). Anger can be particularly overwhelming, in especial when it is directed outside of ourselves. It can easily dominate our senses, and from anger a lot more negativity can be built.

For me, the one emotion I have had the easiest time tapping into has been anger. I have spent years learning how to cope with and let anger pass through, and not overwhelm me when I feel it. I have put a great deal of effort into taking control of this powerful emotion, and finding outlets to vent so that I do not yell and scream, throw things, or punch walls (all things I was notorious for in my youth). I have found more productive, less destructive means to pass my anger.

There are multiple situations happening in my life right now that are making me angry. For the first time in many years, I am finding that anger is dominating my actions, my thoughts, and my emotions. What’s more, I am angry over situations that I have little to no control over.

It builds up, too. It starts from multiple small incidents, then gradually builds to bigger issues, and greater problems, and then whole life situations involving other people. It is partially a matter of outside influence and control, but also a matter of misunderstanding between us. What’s more, I am not seeing how I can resolve these matters before they might get even uglier.

It is important to acknowledge that I am angry. If I don’t, and I let it build up without release, I will return to my old, bad habits and start destroying things (walls, inanimate objects, my voice, etc). That, in turn, will add being angry at myself for losing control…and you can see how this can snowball into a large, difficult to escape downward spiral. I would very much like to avoid that happening.

So, what do I do now? Just putting this out here has been cathartic. I find that the more I put these thoughts into written form, the less my hands are shaking and the more calm I am feeling. One major problem with anger dominating one’s emotional state is that rationale is difficult to claim. That is why you have to acknowledge and find healthy ways to vent anger – in order to seek rational, reasoned decision, rather than acting in the heat of the moment and possibly taking regrettable actions.

I am walking a path that I have chosen. It is flawed, it has a large number of bumps and twists and turns and unexpected detours, but it is my path. I do not have to stay this path, I can choose another. I have to remember that. This is my journey, my experience, and I can make of it what I choose.

I acknowledge that I have run into obstacles along my path that are angering me. I am faced with a choice about how to deal with these. I can let them fester and bubble and boil over…or I can find release for them, and start thinking about how to move forward in the most constructive manner. The former is easier than the latter, but I am still at the point where I remember what happens when I let the former win this debate, and how much worse that makes me feel. I believe that I can choose the latter, and take positive, useful steps forward from here.

There are times when a single emotion will dominate our paths. Sometimes that is a positive emotion, sometimes it is a negative one. It is important, to continue along your path, or even to choose a new path, to recognize the need to restore balance, and to keep moving forward.

Easier said than done. You are reading my words here, and seeing a portion of the action I am taking to regain my perspective. Like you, I am glad that while this path may be for me and me alone, I am never truly alone upon it.  Thank you.

How do you deal with an overwhelming emotion?


This is the one-hundred thirty second entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Stuck in Neutral

I am not feeling negative. However, neither am I feeling a tremendous amount of positivity just now.

What do you do when you are stuck in neutral?

Neutral is not the worst place to be. You find yourself in a middle ground, between negative and positive, and you thus stand between the extremes.


From neutral you have the opportunity to choose where you want to lean. Do you allow positivity to flow into and through you, or negativity to do so?

Sometimes neutral is the place of ultimate balance. I have said before that while positivity is really important, you cannot live without negativity. We need to have the extremes, so that we can live in the middle between them.

There are always going to be times we feel good about life in general, and there are also going to be plenty of times we feel bad about life. That’s how the universe works. However, we can choose to see life for its good and positive offerings, or we can choose to see life for its bad and negative aspects.

Neutral is seeing life from neither good or bad, positive nor negative. Neutral is in many ways a disconnect, lacking in real feeling and emotion, and it comes with a corresponding feeling of hollowness. I do not feel bad, I do not feel good…really, on further analysis, I do not feel.

This can be frustrating (in especial when trying to write about positivity). You simply do not feel. You are stuck in neutral, and you feel nothing. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?

What do you choose to make of it? Do you take this neutrality and let it be a period of peace and harmony where you are in a calm open space, or do you let it be a period of concern and conflict where the openness and lack feels wrong and uncomfortable? Do you make it a positive, or a negative?


This presents a unique challenge. When you are stuck in neutral, you have open and possibly endless possibility ahead of you. That can make even the most resolute person feel terribly disconnected. I would posit, however, that this is a positive thing, because it allows you an opportunity to just BE…and that can open all kinds of unexpected and potentially amazing doors.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that when you are stuck in neutral, it is an opportunity, you can make any number of unique choices. When we balance out our ideas with our beliefs and our emotions, we can build the world we most want to live in, and when we are not feeling any particular emotions, there are endless possibilities. The endless possibilities will allow you to choose where you want to focus, and you can start from nothing to build positivity. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.


This is the twenty third entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 131

How do you let go when you are feeling defeated?

When you are at a loss, when you feel as though you have jumped hurdle after hurdle and still come away without a win, how do you let it go?

As I explored last week, whether you are a winner or a loser in a given situation, accepting it with bitterness or grace makes a tremendous difference in what will come next. It will also have a profound effect on how others in your life will be impacted.

Sometimes the gut reaction is to get angry. There are times you are going to be enraged, that you are going to be bitter and impassioned, and you might be taking matters deeply personally. This is natural, this is going to happen, it cannot be denied, it cannot be avoided. Nor should it be.

Once this occurs, however, the next step is where bitterness versus graciousness matters. If you let that initial reaction of outrage and indignation take ahold and influence all of your following moves, you create a negativity spiral that will bring about even more reasons to feel angry and displeased.

I am not in any way saying that you should never feel these negative emotions. You absolutely have to. Not feeling them in many respects is much worse for you, mentally and in time physically, than feeling them. Repressing negativity is dangerous to the psyche in innumerable ways.

Feeling them is important. But holding onto them is where the problems begin. When you let that bitter feeling, that rage, that indignation become your life, you create a space where you will draw more of that to you. Like attracts like, and I would presume that you know someone who is always negative, always bitter, always unhappy for the majority of their time. How does being around them make you feel?

Feeling the negative emotions is important. Acknowledge them, be angry, scream, yell, break something unimportant. But then – let it go. Don’t hold onto the negative, don’t get bitter and resolute in anger – let it go. Allow it to pass, allow it to run its course, and step away from it.

Be gracious. Accept it. Then leave it behind. Holding onto the negative emotions is where we develop a great deal of our unhappiness in life. It is here that it becomes imperative that you be gracious in loss, defeat, disappointment, or whatever negative matter has occurred.

What does that mean? It means that you say to yourself, “Ok. I did not enjoy that. I am angry, I am hurt, I am displeased. I cannot hold onto that, I have to let it go, I have to find my center again, and I need to move past this, and find another way.”

Some matters are easier to move past than others. That is a hard to accept truth. Some losses are more personal, more powerful, and more meaningful to us than others, and that just increases the depth of the anger, hurt, or other negative emotion generated.

Time is relative here. Some matters can be let go of relatively quickly. Some may take a while. What is important to this is discovering whether you are holding tightly onto something that does not serve you, whether emotionally, spiritually or physically – or if you are processing it and letting it go. Like many past topics, this of course is not simple nor easy to define.

The key is to ask yourself one important question. How do I feel? The answer to this question will give you the insight to make necessary choices in order to have the answer that will be the most satisfying.

We do not ask this question enough of ourselves. I know I do not ask this enough. How do I feel? The answer to that question will tell me my mindset, and help me to make choices in order to best find and walk the path I desire.

When the answer is a negative, I need to analyze this, and explore why I am feeling that way. When I can figure out what is making me feel a negative emotion, I can determine if I am simply reacting to a moment or holding on to bitterness. That is where I will know if I am working to turn matters around, or holding onto emotions that simply do not serve me.

How do you let go of that feeling of defeat? You need to recognize it, identify it, and then work on getting past it. There is no single, simple answer to this question, no singular path to enlightenment. What will work for me will not work for you, and what works in this situation may not work in that situation. However, there is one important step that will allow you to identify and work with whatever you are feeling.

You have to ask yourself How do I feel? You need to not just think it, ASK it. Really ask yourself that question, and then ANSWER it. You’d be surprised how far that one important question may take you. When you know you are feeling defeated, knowing the WHY and the HOW of it by questioning your feelings will help you to figure out how to turn matters around and score a victory.

This is challenging. I am working through this myself at the moment, and it is one of the greatest challenges I have ever emotionally faced. I believe, as I have throughout all the aspects of walking my own path, that I can find and make my way, and create the life I most dearly desire for myself. I can get past this feeling of defeat, and continue forward on a chosen path.

How do I feel? How do YOU feel?


This is the one-hundred thirty first entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share.  Thank you for joining me.

The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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