The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: February 2014

Pathwalking 113

A tiger cannot change its stripes, they say.

Some people firmly believe that people in general are incapable of changing.  I am here to tell you that this is bullshit.

ANYBODY can change.  Period.  The main issue is – do you want to change?

You may question why I am emphasizing want.  That is because even if you need change, you have to WANT it to make it happen.  It is only with a deep, emotional desire to change that you can make change in your life.

Like most of the things I explore while Pathwalking, you need thought, emotion and action to change yourself.  But in addition to this, you need to be aware of how you judge yourself, because the process of changing who you are will have missteps, errors, mistakes and miscalculations abounding.

I talk a lot about outside influences in regards to Pathwalking.  Since there are many who do not believe that people can change, there are many who will not see you for who you are, but who you WERE.  It is imperative that you see yourself for who you are and not who you were as you make changes in your life.

I have written here many times before that change is inevitable.  Everything changes, sometimes quickly, sometimes infinitesimally slowly, but EVERYTHING changes.  Part of what I explore here week after week is taking the driver’s seat and directing and controlling change.

Because everything changes, people cope differently with this notion.  Some do very well with rolling with the punches and shifting matters.  Some, though, find change offputting, difficult, and distressing.  They are constantly fighting to keep up or struggling to hold onto what was instead of what is.

When a person desires to change, it is not for anyone but the person making changes to judge.  This can be an especially difficult concept to grasp, in particular when the change you are seeing is not something you comprehend as a good change.  What I define as a positive change you may not see that way, and vice versa.  What matters is that the person making a given change be doing as they desire.

So why do people believe that people are incapable of change?  I think this is largely fear based.  Change, while inevitable, can be scary.  It is the end of the status quo.  It is the unknown.  It is different, it is uncertain.  When change is about a person this can be particularly scary.

We all put people in specific places – some refer to them as boxes, buckets, even spoons.  We have categories and subcategories in which we lay them.  And then we like when we have it all figured out and arranged.  It is ordered, it makes sense.  Until they change.  Now we have these definitions and beliefs about a person that are outdated and incorrect.

I am guilty of this myself.  There are people I see a certain way, some from my own experience and some through the eyes and experiences of my friends.  I place people in that particular box, and that is where they reside.

This is something I need to approach differently.  I am not the man I was just a few years ago, yet there are still people who see me and judge me based on data that is nearly two decades old.  I do not appreciate that they do this to me – so why do I do it to others?

Cliché though it may be, do unto others as you would have others do unto you.  I cannot continue to judge people in an unfair manner based on outdated information lest I want people to continue to judge ME in an unfair manner based on outdated information.  People change – I know that I have, and still do.  So how come it is so hard for me to see it with and in others?

Is it human nature to judge people, or learned behavior?  I don’t know, but I do know that I can change this.  Change is not a dirty word, it is not something to be feared, it needs to be embraced, examined, explored and enlightened.  Yes, some change is NOT good, some change is backwards or unfortunate or otherwise bad – but change will happen, and cannot be stopped.  It can only be directed.

Human beings have the unique ability to make our own destinies.  We can be whom we want, we can live where we want, we can do what we want, and we always have choices and options before us.  Life is not meant to be static and unchanging – change is growth.

One more very important note – I am sure I have written this before, but it cannot go without saying – NO ONE can change anyone else.  You and you alone can change who you are, how you think, what you do, and every other aspect of your life.  I cannot change you, I can only influence you for good or ill or not-at-all in regards to change.  When you realize that everyone changes, all you can do is decide if it changes for YOU how you regard them or not.

A human is not a tiger, and though a tiger may not be able to change its stripes, there is very little a human cannot change about him or herself.

 

This is the one-hundred thirteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Compliments

YOU are an incredible, worthwhile, amazing person.

How does that sit with you?  Do you take the compliment as complimentary, or does it make you uncomfortable?  Do you want to deny the statement, humble yourself?

One of the best ways to reach a positive place it to learn to both give and receive compliments more freely.

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We as a society have gotten quite talented at finding the flaws, pointing out the inequities, and criticizing.  We point out the negatives easily and frequently, because we have lost sight of the impact that focus on the negative will have.

Compliments for some reason do not come easily to us.  I know many people who do not easily give them, and even less readily accept them.  But complimenting people should not cause embarrassment, it should cause good feelings, it should generate Positivity.

Perhaps it is a fear of crossing that invisible boundary between familiarity and pretentiousness or smugness.  Maybe it is concern that the compliment will be met with scorn or incredulity.  We have gotten so paranoid about our every word and action that rather than be complimentary, we prefer to be silent.

I believe that we should make more of an effort to give compliments where compliments are due.  Genuine, heart-felt compliments for a job well done, for looking well put-together, for simply being.  Compliments can help to make more Positivity, and the world needs more positivity.

On this same line – we need to learn to take compliments better.  Many people fear that if they react to a given compliment in the wrong way they will come across as arrogant or haughty or overwhelming or what-have-you.  But we need to take positive energy for ourselves as well as give it away to others.  So we need to learn to better accept compliments, and simply respond to them with a Thank You.

When you are going about your day, consider how frequently you criticize.  Think about how much negativity that creates, and how that makes you feel.  Don’t just let yourself be drawn into negative conversations about work or the government or bad people and all they do – make a conscious effort to steer clear of that negativity.

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Instead of seeking things and people and places to criticize, seek things and people and places to compliment.  Don’t let that job well done or that beautiful home and garden or that healthy-looking person or that tasty sandwich go unnoticed.  Compliment them. Yes, even the inanimate objects that cannot respond – complimenting begets Positivity, and this is a mindset that needs to be spread further over negativity.

There is no harm in taking a complimentary attitude.  As you give more compliments I believe you will more easily accept compliments back.  Doesn’t something that makes you feel good and positive FEEL BETTER than things that make you feel bad and negative?

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Being complimentary rather than critical allows you to be more focused on Positivity.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.

Pathwalking 112

People are creatures of habit.

The question we have to ask of ourselves in this matter is – are we creatures of good habits, or bad habits?

To get to the root of this, it is important to ask – what ARE my habits?

To identify habits, it is best to define just what a habit is.  Dictionary.com defines habit thus:

noun

1.an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary: the habit of looking both ways before crossing the street.

2.customary practice or use: Daily bathing is an American habit.

3.a particular practice, custom, or usage: the habit of shaking hands.

4.a dominant or regular disposition or tendency; prevailing character or quality: She has a habit of looking at the bright side of things.

Acquired behavior, customary practice, prevailing quality.  All of these combined describe a person’s habitual ways.

We all have these, some are extremely conscious and thought out.  Some, though, are ingrained, deep beneath the surface and sub-conscious at best.  As such, we all have habits that we do not readily recognize as habits.

As a Pathwalker, I am working on acquiring and taking control of my life, and how I live it.  Along with this it is surprisingly important that I learn to identify my habits, both conscious and unconscious, and learn whether they are good habits, or bad.

The problem with bad habits is that they can be very hard to break.  Like almost everything in life there are minor habits and major habits, but no matter if the habit is great or small it is important to identify if it is a good habit to have or a bad one.

What’s the difference, and why should this matter?  The trouble with maintaining bad habits is that they can interfere with good things you want to make of your life.  If a habitual behavior is bad, it can prevent the good things you want to make and draw into your life, and when you are unaware of it you may easily fail to recognize the problem.

Bad habits can be insidious.  They can provide interference with what you are trying to do.  For example, let’s say you are a procrastinator.  Procrastination is a habit, and a very difficult habit to break.  It can cause you to miss opportunities it can get in the way of things getting done that will help you go where you intend.  Obviously this can interfere with any given path you may choose.

Let me present an example from my own life.  I am a writer, I am a reader.  Yet I will go a day or two without writing, and even longer not writing fiction.  There are long periods where I do not read (specifically reading for pleasure).  I consider reading and writing daily to be a necessary habit.  As such I am now working on restoring this, writing fiction daily and reading at least a chapter a day for pleasure until I can make this a habit, and a good habit again.

This is a conscious habit I am working with.  Last year I chose an unconscious one.  For as long as I can remember I have chewed on my fingernails.  I would chew them off out of boredom, sometimes not even realizing I was doing it.  Then I encountered from an odd source an idea on how to stop this, and I applied it – and it worked.  I still find myself occasionally chewing at a nail, but overall I have to clip them regularly now.

The point I am making here is that any habit can be broken.  Any habit, good or ill, can be changed.  It is simply a matter of identifying your habitual behaviors, examining if they are good habits or bad, and if they need to be altered taking action and changing them.

To change any habit is relatively easy, it just requires the following:  1) Identify the habit.  2) Evaluate the habit and decide if you want to keep it or change it.

If it’s a good habit, and it works for you, you’re done.  But if you want to alter it:  3) Determine how to change the habit.  4) Take action and make the change you desire.

The steps are really that simple, but the action and the effort to make the change and alter a habitual behavior can be a challenge. If you put the energy into the matter and do what you have determined you need to do, you can make the change.

I am walking my own path in life, and as such I am studying who I am to be who I want to be.  That means knowing what my habits are, and how they do or do not serve me.

Do you know your habits?

 

This is the one-hundred twelfth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Mindfulness

Last week I talked about attitude shifters.  This week is a step back, into the notion of mindfulness.

What is mindfulness?  Mindfulness is self-awareness.  It is knowing what you are thinking, how you are feeling, and who you are intent on being.

It is continuously amazing to me how easily we lose sight of mindfulness.  We get caught up in all the things around us, the attitudes and feelings of the people we surround ourselves with, and that in turn often overtakes our own mindfulness.

Why is this important?  When someone is telling you about their bad day, when you are reading about the awful news from around the world, when you are bombarded with stories of oppression and greed and people doing bad things to people – your mood, your attitude your feelings are directly affected.

The idea of Positivity is to try and view life from a more positive perspective.  Negative begets negative, and positive begets positive.  If you are looking at life through a dark and unpleasant lens, you will see mostly the dark and unpleasant things.  If you see life through a clear lens, you are now able to see it all.

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Mindfulness is not about blindly seeing nothing but positive and happy and such, it is about being aware of your thoughts and feelings.  It is about taking into account your surroundings, your mindset, your situation, your present self.  Being mindful is the first step towards being aware, and being aware is how you can choose to live more positively or more negatively.

How do I be mindful?  The simplest and easiest way is to ask yourself direct questions.  What am I thinking?  What am I feeling?  How am I feeling?  Where is my mind?  What am I thinking about?  What am I focused on?  We are constantly asking our friends, families, coworkers, even random strangers “How are you?”  But it is infrequent of us to direct that question inwards, and thus we lose mindfulness.

This is not an act of selfishness.  Quite the contrary – you can do more for others around you when you know who and what YOU are about.  Being mindful begins with the self…but mindfulness of the self allows for greater mindfulness of those around you.  When you are more mindful of those around you, you will have a better idea of how you can help others in whatever ways you can.

Positivity is finding a positive place, a positive attitude.  Being mindful of what you are thinking, feeling, saying and thus projecting will allow you to break from negativity more easily, and to free yourself to be in a better, more positive headspace more frequently.  It is my belief that more Positivity in the world can only make the world a better, healthier, more balanced place for everyone.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Greater mindfulness leads to greater awareness, which is how you can be more focused on Positivity.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the third entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.

Pathwalking 111

Language is not just the words you use.

When we communicate, we do so in many languages, sometimes all at once.

Language is thought, language is action, language is a multi-faceted, nuanced concept.  Dictionary.com defines it thus:

noun

1. a body of words and the systems for their use common to a people who are of the same community or nation, the same geographical area, or the same cultural tradition: the two languages of Belgium; a Bantu language; the French language; the Yiddish language.

2. communication by voice in the distinctively human manner, using arbitrary sounds in conventional ways with conventional meanings; speech.

3. the system of linguistic signs or symbols considered in the abstract (opposed to speech ).

4. any set or system of such symbols as used in a more or less uniform fashion by a number of people, who are thus enabled to communicate intelligibly with one another.

5. any system of formalized symbols, signs, sounds, gestures, or the like used or conceived as a means of communicating thought, emotion, etc.: the language of mathematics; sign language.

Language, because it takes so many forms, can communicate mood, attitude, emotion and more.  It is a matter of language that often causes us to misconstrue the point we wish to get across.

Language is not purely external.  Internal dialogue is a matter of language too.  How we think before we communicate is something to be considered.

Often times communication breakdowns occur because of a difference in language.  It can be as simple as dialect or a completely different set of words and phrases to as complicated as miscues taken from body language and facial ticks and such.

Pathwalking is a language.  It is how I express to the world the idea of consciousness creates reality.  I have chosen to create this language to share a concept that is older than old, and I am certainly not the first to express.  I believe, however, that one of the reasons more people do not recognize the concept is due to language.

I speak and think and write in English.  I know a smattering of a couple other verbal languages.  I talk with my hands, and can be hugely expressive as such.  Beyond this, there are other body movements, attitudes, facial expressions that also convey a language which not everyone will read the same.

People spend a great deal of time talking about communications.  Communication is extremely important to just about every aspect of life you can think of.  When it comes to relationships, business or professional, when it comes to expressing needs and wants it all boils down to communication.

However we often overlook language.  The language we use in our communications can have a very different effect and meaning that our intent may have been.  Trouble is, even speakers of the same language often miscommunicate. This may be due to dialect, or it may be due to a different take on how to connect in the chosen language on a personal level.  For example, what I consider a harmless gesture someone else may see as aggressive, while someone else may see it as an invitation that it is not.

The point of this topic is to be mindful.  Mindful not only of your communications, but also of the language in which you communicate.

Recently a lot of attention has been paid to an advertisement where the song America the Beautiful was sung in a whole bunch of different languages.  The message being communicated by this was intent on exploring the notion that All Are One.  No matter where we originate, Americans are all Americans.  What has come of this, unfortunately, is many have taken it to be divisive and argumentative and they utterly misunderstood what was being communicated.  Rather than the languages used broadcasting unity, as was the intent, to some it communicated division.

No matter the languages you communicate, being mindful of the message you wish to send is important.  Be aware that even if those around you speak the same language, you could still be communicating rather differently.

Lastly – be aware of what languages you communicate to yourself.  If you say you want to be open and friendly but hold yourself aloof and in a standoffish manner, you become a contradiction.  Language matters, no matter what form it takes, both externally and internally.

How many languages do you use every day?

 

This is the one-hundred eleventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Attitude Shifters

To help yourself be more positive, it is extremely helpful to have attitude shifters.

What is an attitude shifter?  A shifter is something you can think about or focus on that will make you feel good.

Shifters can come in any number of forms.  A picture of a person, place or thing that makes you feel happy.  A song or movie dialogue or comedy routine that puts you in a good mood.  A scent, the smell of something that brings your mind to positive thoughts.  Pretty much anything that stimulates your senses in a manner that makes you feel good can serve as an attitude shifter.

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Because shifters can take on so many forms and can come from a vast landscape of lifetime experiences, it is a good idea to choose specific shifters.  It is also a good idea to have certain shifters that can be used in particular circumstances, as some may be more readily reached than others.

Attitude shifters are more often than not memory.  It is the recollection of the thing, whatever sense it stimulates, that is most useful in changing your mood.  Because you are working on a memory, you do not need to have a physical object in order to use the shifter.  This can be very useful when you are somewhere you cannot physically change, but mentally take a new approach – meetings, waiting in line, horrid traffic, etc.

How do you know if something is an attitude shifter for you?  When you think about that image, that scent, that touch, that taste, that sound, that emotion – does it put a smile on your face?  Does it make your heart happy?  Does it make you feel good?  If the answer is yes – you have found a shifter.

Using attitude shifters takes work.  It is not hard work, it is conscious work.  All too often we get caught up in the goings-on around us, and let the neutrality or negativity overwhelm us.  To use a shifter, all you have to do is this:

1.  Ask yourself this question – How do I feel?  You might be amazed how seldom you actually pause to ask that.  If you are feeling good or feeling positive, you don’t need an attitude shifter.  In fact, the experience may create a new shifter for future use.  When you find that you are feeling nothing or you are feeling negative, go to:

2. Choose an attitude shifter.  Sometimes this takes more work than others, depending on whether the situation you are in is passive or active.  Remember that child’s laugh, think about that song that makes you want to dance, remember holding your lover’s hand – or whatever shifter you can use to change your attitude.  If one is not working – choose another.

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The great thing about attitude shifters is that they are many and varied and constantly being renewed.  It is not so difficult to take a moment in your mind to bring forth that memory in order to change how you are feeling.

Here is how I would suggest getting started with this (this idea is as much for me as it is for you):  Consciously choose five things that make you happy.  Take some time to firmly place them in your memory.  Even when you are feeling good, focus on them, so that they are clearer and easier to reach to.  When you need to shift your attitude, you will have five readily available options.  After a month, choose five more.  Guess what?  Now there are ten options readily available.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Attitude shifters are a great tool on the road to Positivity.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the second entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.

Pathwalking 110

I am constantly talking about balance in regards to Pathwalking.  Moderation, knowing the yin and yang and finding what we need in order to successfully walk our paths in this life as we would choose them.

There is one exception to this it is important to grasp.

We live in a universe of abundance.  Everything we could want or need can be found in this universe, around us, because everything is energy, and we can alter frequencies to move the universe to have what we want.  However, most of us have placed limitations and artificial barriers between ourselves and the abundance of the universe by believing in lack and limitation and the need to sacrifice to make up for this.

Why is abundance different from all the other things that we have to balance?  Unlike finding the balance between selfishness and selflessness, or balancing taking for the self with giving to others, there is plenty and more than enough in the universe itself.  Abundance is a fact, and is available for everyone when we stop limiting ourselves.

Bullshit.  Hooky-spooky mumbo-jumbo.  How can that possibly be the case?  I postulate frequently that everything is energy.  At its ultimate root every single tangible and intangible comes to and from energy.  Energy has frequency, and when you tune the frequency you can draw what you tune in to.  Lack and limitation and believing there is not enough of anything is a human belief that we have created because the easy way became harder.

When we were hunter/gatherers, we were nomads.  We would go where the game travelled, and we would harvest what we found in nature.  Over time, we would over-hunt and over-gather to the point where nature was not replenishing the supply swiftly enough for us to survive.  While some moved to other places to continue hunting and gathering, others decided to create farms, where they planted seed and raised animals and took greater control over their food supply.  Over time, farms became so massive that ever greater numbers could be fed by the work of fewer hands to the point where we easily take for granted the simplicity of the trip to the supermarket.

We have food in abundance in the first world.  Unfortunately right beside that incredible abundance there is still lack.  People go hungry and remain impoverished even though abundance can be found a relatively short distance away.

Right there you contradict yourself.  Poverty, disease, and hunger are direct evidence of the lack in this world.  How can you say there is abundance for everyone of everything?  Because that lack has been caused by the limitations we ourselves have put on the world.  We are bombarded by messages telling us that there is a limited supply of pretty much everything.  We are told how the wealthiest one percent control a disproportionately large amount of the money of the world, and watch many of these same people greedily hoard what they have and create lack.  We believe the message that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and we feed these messages of lack and limitation and obstruction and restriction with more energy.

If you believe that you are incapable of having abundance, if you believe you will always be in debt morally or financially or spiritually, you are feeding the energy of lack and limitation.  It is a vicious, unfortunate creation of the human imagination that there is not enough to go around.  It is the belief that we will run out of the good and abundance of things in the universe that continues to make it so.

You cannot just think positive and everything will come out ok!  It doesn’t work that way.  This is true.  You cannot just think positive – you have to FEEL positive, you have to ACT positive, and you have to BE a transmitter of that energy to draw it back to you.  If you believe in there not being enough, if you believe in your own shortcomings and your debts and limitations you will draw them more readily to you.  If you believe there is enough, and you can overcome your shortcomings and there are no limitations, you can more readily draw that to you.

This cannot just be lip service to positive energy.  You can’t just pull this out of thin air, it does require focus and work and action.  When I have looked at my day to day actions, it often startles me to see how easily I slip into the mentality of lack and limitation and all the negativity of the world.  Just read the headlines of a news service online and you begin to be inundated with a constant barrage of lack and limitation for the whole bloody world.  It is very hard to believe that the universe is abundant when all you see is constant information about its lack and struggles of those who are wanting.

This starts small.  It starts with me.  I need to see the abundance of the universe.  I need to take the actions that will allow me to have all the abundance that is out there for me.  I need to not focus on lack and limitation, and focus on abundance.  And maybe when I focus on abundance and share that with you, you will focus on abundance.  And maybe when you focus on abundance and share that with others, they will focus on abundance.  And maybe we can all show the world that we need not accept the artificial limitations we continue to accept as absolutes.

Is this a Pollyanna attitude?  Perhaps.  Even so, can you give me a good reason why NOT to focus on abundance rather than lack?  Will focusing on the negativity and limitations of the world make me feel content, even happy?  No.

Do you think you can change your life and the lives of those around for the better you if you are focused on limitation, or focused on abundance?

 

This is the one-hundred tenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity

We all need positive energy.

When we are constantly bombarded by news of tragedy and inundated with stories of greed and corruption it is increasingly difficult to find positive energy.  All you have to do is read through posts on Twitter or Facebook or Google+ from well-meaning friends and you will experience all the terrible things happening in the world today.

It is very hard not to get increasingly frustrated, angry, incensed over the vast amounts of unfairness, stupidity, and blatant inflammatory actions throughout our world.  And there are so very many topics to explore and choose from to further that.

Yet we all need positive energy.  Feeding all the negativity just creates more negativity.

That is why, starting today, I will be blogging every Monday on the topic of Positivity.  Monday in particular is a good starting point, given how many people dread and outright loathe the beginning of the work week.  Additionally, I will be sharing images I personally find inspiring and beautiful, from my own vast collection (I fancy myself to be a somewhat capable photographer).

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I fall victim to the negative messages.  I am posting weekly Positivity for myself as much as for anyone who cares to read this.

What makes up Positivity?  For our purposes, it is action.  I will be working on looking past and through all the negative messages and exploring positive ones.  I will be choosing topics regularly to explore and express positive energy, hopefully to get us thinking about good things surrounding us and our lives, rather than all the negatives.

I want to begin with Gratitude.  I am deeply grateful for you, my readers, for following along and sharing this experience with me.  Despite the difficulties we are all facing, whether large or small, we have each other, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Gratitude is a fantastic generator of positive energies.  Feeling grateful for the things we have, the people in our lives, love, comfort, companionship and so forth leads to positive feelings.  Positive feelings generate positive energies.  When more of us feel positive about the world around us, we in turn share that with others, and hopefully cause a wave of positivity.

I know that there are going to be bad days, negative days, and times where finding and holding positive energy is almost impossible.  I will totally acknowledge this.  However, I can choose to dwell in those negative places, or I can choose to seek out more positive situations.  I have seen how much better life is when approached positively, and I want to strive to find that place more frequently than its opposite.  This is where Positivity begins.

If you have begun this week feeling low, feeling down, feeling negative, think of anything you have to be grateful for.  It can be as large as a material thing like you car, your job, your home, or as small as your drawing breath and simply being alive.  Don’t just think of gratitude, feel grateful.  Let the gratitude wash away negativity, and help lead you to Positivity.

Thank you.

 

This is the first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.

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